We’re back, Fatheads! Teddy bears, wild dogs and dildos, oh my!
We’re back, Fatheads! Teddy bears, wild dogs and dildos, oh my!
Catch up with Jamie and Alyssa after 2025 starts out weird and shitty. We’re happy to be back and bring you all the cringe!
Write us some of your cringe stories at [nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com](mailto:nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com)
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
Hey, fat heads, we're back.
Unknown Speaker 0:22
Hey, oh, we still got it. We're in sync. Right off the bat,
Unknown Speaker 0:29
Red, yellow leather, yellow. Red leather. Yellow, huh?
Unknown Speaker 0:37
we're trying to do this vocal warm up. Oh, my God, before, and it's difficult, yeah, red leather, yellow leather. And it's the hardest thing in the world to say. You'll say, No, you dumb idiots. It's not Yeah. Then you'll try it and be like, Oh, I'm a dumb idiot. Yes, you're right. Leather, yellow leather.
Unknown Speaker 0:58
That was good.
Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 1:01
And if you're like, hey, where have you guys been? Well let us tell you a story.
Unknown Speaker 1:09
Yeah, my grandma died, and my oldest cat, Sam, scratch, passed away. So it's been hard.
Unknown Speaker 1:17
Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:20
talk about your death, your turn. Yeah, my grandpa died, and it was super sad, but, yeah, so yeah, some funny things around that happen that I'm sure I'll talk about one day, but, but for Not Today,
we're gonna just hop back back into the fun stuff. Yeah, we just wanted to, you know, let you guys know, I guess, yeah, and I'm not, obviously not laughing at him dying. I'm nervous, but just don't think I'm a bad person,
Unknown Speaker 1:55
and I'm just laughing just because awkward, nervous laughter podcast, yeah, exactly. We are on theme. Well, I have something that I think will like, get us pretty pumped up.
Unknown Speaker 2:08
Sorry, I'm gonna take a picture this way. Wait, don't get me in the picture. I'll zoom in, okay, and then I'll zoom out. And
Unknown Speaker 2:17
but, yeah, Alyssa has Why don't you? You can introduce him. So this is a Christmas present that I got when I was probably eight years old, and his mouth used to move to sing, scary. Yeah, I should have, like, fucked with the batteries to see if, like, maybe the mouth battery needed replaced. I don't know, but he has a little song that I thought would hype us up. Okay, excited, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 2:56
I feel like you didn't know the song well. Is this this is, is this the Macarena? Yes, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3:04
So I was just like, is it gonna sing where it can do the dance?
Unknown Speaker 3:10
Oh,
Unknown Speaker 3:13
he's still going. Oh, it does do the thought, the single word, oh, shit, okay. You never got that far as a kid? No, I did, but when I pressed the button earlier, it didn't go the words, whoo, hell, yeah, sorry to call you out. I was just like, this is lame. She doesn't get it. I'm over the age of 30, I promise.
Unknown Speaker 3:37
No, no, I was just waiting for the lyrics so I could jump in, and I was just, yeah, they're very
Unknown Speaker 3:46
I feel like I have to play it again. It's almost 20 years old, so I feel like this is pretty impressive. I feel like that's hanging in there. Really good, newer, like the, I mean, not like, super new, but the toy looks in great condition. But thank you. The sound is degrading, very scary.
Unknown Speaker 4:04
I looked it up.
Unknown Speaker 4:07
I looked it up on eBay because I was telling Jamie that whenever I like stuff, I feel like it should be worth, like, $100 but like a brand new bear in the box is like, maybe $40 Oh, I know. And that is a little more than I thought I would go for those, like, maybe really, yeah, because I feel like I look at, look at old stuff that I have, and it's like, Hey, this is like, five or 10 bucks on ebay. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, cool,
Unknown Speaker 4:35
but I did a little Googling, because I was just interested in the Macarena, because I don't know about you, but like, I still love it. Like, I mean, so good much. I haven't thought of it, but I listened to it 15 times today from the bear, just like around the house. I
Unknown Speaker 4:57
just listened to that like, shit here.
Unknown Speaker 5:00
Reading, I feel like this is gonna be your Stephen King Mamo number five. Yeah, pretty much. But so the song came out in 93
Unknown Speaker 5:12
and I forgot to write down people's names, but then, like the English remix, they got really popular, came out in, like late 1995 so it was like all of 96 and 97 that it was everywhere, and it was number one on the Top Billboard charts for 14 weeks. Whoa, and it was in the top 100
Unknown Speaker 5:34
for 60 weeks 60. I think maybe only Taylor Swift has met those numbers, evil billionaire anyway,
Unknown Speaker 5:45
flying around, would never do that she did, though, I guess only like, I mean, I don't know much about her, but the only thing I keep hearing that's like, positive, super positive, is that she likes super paid her people well, which I'm like, well, well, she's doing that. But you know, true, she's probably still a billionaire after paying all those people that much money. Yes, you know
Unknown Speaker 6:09
that sucks.
Unknown Speaker 6:11
But speaking of bears, everyone knows that I love cherished teddies and oh, sorry, were you done with your Macarena? Yes, okay. Sorry, you're doing the dance. I'm just like, I'm doing,
Unknown Speaker 6:24
I'm doing the dance for the teddies.
Unknown Speaker 6:27
I'm just picturing all of them on the little cabinet doing it together. One, cherish, two, cherish, three, cherish teddies. Yes, and my aunt has like, a million cherish teddies all in this cupboard that I just I got to visit her a couple times since my grandma passed away, and it's just an amazing collection that I just have to brag a little about.
Unknown Speaker 6:54
But something else she has is a couple of little dogs,
Unknown Speaker 7:01
and I totally just, like, got attacked by them.
Unknown Speaker 7:08
What is the progress on your bites? I have scars. Scars. I think I haven't seen it since they were like, pretty new. And you were like, these are probably gonna scar. And then I haven't asked you since then. Let me see which leg it was on. Oh yeah, they're here. Let me show you the scar.
Unknown Speaker 7:30
Oh shit,
Unknown Speaker 7:33
yeah, it's those, like, I guess, speaking of teddy bears, it's like little teddy bear kind of looking dogs. I guess you could say, No, I don't think they're Shih Tzu's, but they like, look like shit, sus and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 7:46
But yeah, so I was
Unknown Speaker 7:51
so my aunt, she lives like on a slope, so it's like a big hill on the side of her house. So I went to a list gonna go down in the backyard,
Unknown Speaker 8:01
just there's like a guest suite in the basement. So that's what was I was just going through the back door, basically to get to the guest suite and
Unknown Speaker 8:11
and then as I ran the corner, all these, these little dogs come running down the stairs. And then I was like, Oh, they're fine. Like, you know, it's just cute little dogs. And then, like, damn, like, one fucking scar. Yeah, I'm gonna fuck up your life. And they did fuck up my life, and I was,
Unknown Speaker 8:31
I had, like, a split moment, like, decision, you know, when you're in a like, crisis, and your brain's just like, these are your options. Which one are you gonna do? Yeah, so it was like that, or, like, in a anyone's played those, like video games, like until dawn, like, you have to hit the buttons at the right time.
Unknown Speaker 8:52
So yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 8:54
Yeah. I just,
Unknown Speaker 8:56
I was like, okay, I can either make it to the door, but it's, it's kind of hard, because it's like, right there, just the way they were lined up,
Unknown Speaker 9:08
through some little dogs.
Unknown Speaker 9:11
Or I can run up the hill back to the back, through the fence and
Unknown Speaker 9:17
hopefully, hopefully make it. I did. I ran up the hill away from the little doggies. And
Unknown Speaker 9:25
I thought there was three. And then my sister told me. She was like, Oh no, she only has
Unknown Speaker 9:31
two dogs. And I was like, What the fuck. But then I later learned that my cousin has two dogs that are like the same
Unknown Speaker 9:41
dog. Yeah. I was like, I swear, there was, like, three or four of them. And she was like, there's two. I was like, oh my god, I lost my mind, I guess in that time, or, you know, it was like, I got attacked when, uh, like, my, uh, when I was there for my grandma's death. So I was just like, Oh my god. Am I losing my mind? Am I seeing
Unknown Speaker 9:59
most.
Unknown Speaker 10:00
Pull dogs.
Unknown Speaker 10:02
So whenever you went back, they were cool with you, though, right? Yeah, they seem to just like, bark at everything, but they didn't attack me. I kind of just like, you know, I was like, Yo, like,
Unknown Speaker 10:15
Yo, smell me and calm down. I take another bite out of that.
Unknown Speaker 10:22
Oh. Moochie, delicious goodness.
Unknown Speaker 10:27
Oh, you should take him some. What was it called? Fufu, like, the
Unknown Speaker 10:34
human tofu. Yeah, I tried to look that stuff up again, and I couldn't find it. So I'm like, did I just like, I know I didn't, like, make it up because I remember I have, like, a link to the website on the podcast, but um, I believe you. Yeah, I swear, like, I swear that existed at one point in time. Maybe I fell for an elaborate April Fool's joke or something. But um, I
Unknown Speaker 10:59
found a website for it a long time
Unknown Speaker 11:03
ago.
Unknown Speaker 11:04
So I had something that happened with my aunt while we were on break.
Unknown Speaker 11:10
So sometimes I'll get these. They're called FabFitFun box. Oh yeah, yeah, it's like a little you can get different stuff. And I like them because they'll have, like, expensive hair stuff and whatnot in it. So I like getting those box of girl tree, yeah, it is, yeah, and it's some,
Unknown Speaker 11:31
it's something that, like, ensures that you'll, like, live till the next quarter, because you come out four times a year. So like, you'll get that email. That's like, you get your box next month. I'm like, Okay, I'll keep going.
Unknown Speaker 11:46
I guess I already paid more.
Unknown Speaker 11:50
Keep on. But I was telling my aunt about it because I thought she would like it. And I was like, Yeah, you should check it out. Blah, blah, blah. Like, a couple days later, I'm on Facebook, and I get an ad for fabfit fun. And guess what they fucking started selling? Did
Unknown Speaker 12:12
they put, like, a dildo? That's what I was thinking. What might happen back my mind? Like, no way. It's like one of those, like, fun girl boxes. Well,
Unknown Speaker 12:26
it's a different kind of fun. Yeah, it's an R rated fun. Now they are shifting a little bit. They're shifting, yeah, usually it's like, hair stuff, pots, like fun candles. But, yeah, now you can get fucking dildos. And
Unknown Speaker 12:44
you for a while it was just like an add on thing. But for the first time this month, that's one of the things you can pick for your boss. I'm like, man. They're really like, pushing it to the forefront. They're like, we have so many dildos. No one's
Unknown Speaker 13:01
fabfit, fun box, but they'll probably be made illegal soon, so maybe it's good that they're getting them out to people. Yeah, yeah. Maybe you stock up on extra. Stock up, just um, get a couple, get your get your dicks, right?
Unknown Speaker 13:20
Yeah. So I hope that my aunt forgot about that and didn't look at it, or maybe she looked it up and was like, oh, never mind. She's one of those nieces. Like, I mean, we're both adults, but still, like, I'm not trying to, like, recommend that to my aunt, but
Unknown Speaker 13:41
it reminds me of something that happened with George and his mom, like, this was, like, 10 or 15 years ago.
Unknown Speaker 13:49
Well, she was driving him to the airport, and so they went to this, like magazine stand, which is how long ago this was, and, or it was like a store, and he went in there to get some magazines, and apparently it was just, like, full of porn. Oh, and
Unknown Speaker 14:09
he was like, Oh, fuck. Like, what if my mom, like, thinks I specifically wanted to come to this store. And like, she's been to this store before, and like, she knows what's in here. So he said he went back to the car and was just like, I've never been here before.
Unknown Speaker 14:25
It's weird. They have like, porn in there. So weird. That's just not for me. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you've ever been here, but, man, don't go here, by the way. Have you tried that fabfit, funny and sexy box, mom,
Unknown Speaker 14:46
yeah, so always fun when you get in those situations with your family. By fun, I mean awful, yeah, not good. Times more like FAB Fit in lane, yeah?
Unknown Speaker 15:00
Yeah, or embarrassing fabfit fucked up, yeah? Oh, sorry, bless you.
Unknown Speaker 15:11
Yeah, oh, I have my my joke to tell you. Oh, it's kind of a weird dad joke.
Unknown Speaker 15:19
So I met this older guy that he volunteers at the food bank. Oh, so is sorry. Is this the this is the beach, okay, yeah, yeah, there's one guy that that volunteers there that's like a fucking dick to me. For some reason. I have no idea why, but this is a nice guy, so he's, he's he's part of
Unknown Speaker 15:42
this group. And they call themselves. They call themselves the hogs, which is the holy old guys doing service. So they like a church group, and they volunteer together, and they have, like, fucking like, hats and shirts and like, I love shit like that. So I'm like, You go hogs. That sounds like something. My dad would be interested. Oh, yeah, especially because he's a Harley guy. Yeah, and yeah, he's, uh, man, he's, he's super into all the Harley stuff. He's going to Sturges right now. Oh, I didn't realize that was right now. Yeah, I don't know if it's like, I don't know if it happens multiple times a year and they have, like, smaller ones or something. But he also, like, does all these like Harley run things where it's like, you go to each Harley store in different cities or whatever. So, yeah, tell them about the hogs. I'll tell them about the hogs. He can start a Mississippi chapter. Yeah, Jake. Jake's already running, like, some type of, like, motorcycle and history chapter trip thing where it's like, you map a he, like, made a trip for, like, just historical sites around Louisiana and Mississippi, for motorcycle trip, and everyone
Unknown Speaker 17:03
hits all the spots. And I guess if they hit all the spots, they get, like, a coin or something. I don't know. I don't know. That's cool. You know older people in their coins. Am I right? All right,
Unknown Speaker 17:13
the I've heard this guy tell this joke a couple times now, and he meets new people,
Unknown Speaker 17:20
so his name's Jack, so he'll be like, Yeah, my name's Jack. And he's like, but if you're on an airplane, don't say, Hi Jack.
Unknown Speaker 17:31
And
Unknown Speaker 17:35
he loves that joke.
Unknown Speaker 17:37
And I just want to know how long after 911 he waited to debut that joke.
Unknown Speaker 17:46
You need to ask him that just like, I wonder if maybe he thought of it like right after 911 and he was like, oh, okay, we gotta wait, or he wouldn't say, Fuck. He's a hog. He'd be like, Darn it, dang it. Drat. Darn tootin Oh. That reminds me I said a, like, Southern idiom, or whatever it's called, when I was at my aunt's and I was like, Oh, I have to totally
Unknown Speaker 18:13
you're like, oh, wait, you're in Nebraska. I was gonna say win and miss the shooting. No, I bring the south up to the corn.
Unknown Speaker 18:22
Um, no. So I was, uh, I was playing pool with my nephew, and I just kept, like, scratching over and over. And I was like, I'm scratched more than a dog with flea and
Unknown Speaker 18:38
then I was like, Damn Jamie, what the fuck is up with that?
Unknown Speaker 18:44
What am I doing?
Unknown Speaker 18:47
I guess I just missed Texas too much. I feel like whenever I'm around my family, that's when, like, my weird stuff like that comes out. Yeah, when you're around other people from the same place,
Unknown Speaker 19:04
or drunk, yeah, yeah. Like when I'm drunk, like a little more accent kind of comes out, yeah?
Unknown Speaker 19:14
Um, oh, I, I can propose a new corner. We don't
Unknown Speaker 19:21
talk about it right now, but
Unknown Speaker 19:25
something I've been thinking about is like, would be funny is, like the things that make you cry when you're like, hormonal and about to start your period, because I feel like those can be really awkward and funny.
Unknown Speaker 19:43
Do you have any that come to mind?
Unknown Speaker 19:47
So one that comes there was some like this week, I can't even remember. I just remember crying like a bunch and just being like, I'm on my period.
Unknown Speaker 19:58
But one that stuff.
Unknown Speaker 20:00
Only comes to mind is I was
Unknown Speaker 20:03
watching a YouTube, a bunch of different YouTube videos with my mom, and then there was one that came on. It was a earthquake. Oh, we're watching different earthquake videos. That's what it was. And then one,
Unknown Speaker 20:15
one came up, and there was a group of people, like, hugging, saying goodbye outside of a house. And then the you know, earthquake starts, and then they kind of hunker down, and then the dog just starts running down the street. And I just started crying. He doesn't know it's going, God, oh, so yeah, get me to anything with an animal. I'm like, I'm gonna fucking call my eyes out. I just, you know, you can't tell them like, hey, it's gonna be okay, and then, like, you understand it. So it's just like, damn it. No. Sad, yeah. So I thought that would be a funny one for us to think on. And I've kind of been kicking around some names. I don't have anything I love yet, but if you have any recommendations, feel like it has to start with a P or, you know, has to have PS and stuff in it. Um, I'll think on it. Listeners, if you have any ideas, or any of your own period stories, what write them in, or just period stories, just like a period, a whole period related corner. Um, we're women, and yes, we have those. So let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. The one that I had this week,
Unknown Speaker 21:31
the new king season of King of the Hill comes out. Oh yeah, I'm a bad fan. And I realized, like, I've never watched the last two seasons, so I've been like, powering through them. And there's one where Luanne gets married and, like, her and Hank, they're like, having a moment because he's gonna walk her down the aisle. And I was like, oh my god,
Unknown Speaker 21:55
crying over fictional cartoon characters. She married. Lucky. Yeah, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 22:02
yeah. And then, like, half a season later, cotton dies. So then I, like, cried all over again. I don't remember how he dies. He it's really fucking crazy, like they go to a hibachi place, and he has, like, war PTSD is triggered, and so he like, climbs up on the grill, and then, like, the chef throws a shrimp in his mouth, but he's allergic to shellfish, and then he like, falls down.
Unknown Speaker 22:35
Was that, um, was that when they went to Japan to meet his brother? Oh, I love that one, though. That one's so good. Oh, gosh, so funny. Yeah, very good show I need to Yeah, it'll make you fucking cry though you watch it at the right time. Be careful. I'll keep that in mind. I think what I probably cried about earlier this week was probably just like animals and stuff too, yeah? And the not fun things, like the world burning down, yeah? But sometimes there are fun things, and we should celebrate those, yeah, that was just this, the
Unknown Speaker 23:16
corny, cheesy stuff I wouldn't usually maybe cry about, yeah, I'm crying about everything all day, every day. Lately, yeah, you know, um, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 23:28
anyway, um, we will cry if you don't join us for the next episode. Since now, boohoo. Fat heads. Um,
Unknown Speaker 23:42
you need to turn it up and party on, party on.