Jamie shares a couple weird news stories she came across this week, Alyssa shares a little bit about her trip to an RV expo, and they kind of spin off into some random stories that won’t disappoint!
Jamie shares a couple weird news stories she came across this week, Alyssa shares a little bit about her trip to an RV expo, and they kind of spin off into some random stories that won’t disappoint!
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
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Unknown Speaker 0:01
Brandon was given me a foot massage like a while ago. And I don't know why he thought that this was just like great for foot massages, but then he just like punched my foot and so, yeah, I kind of do that with him as a joke now.
Unknown Speaker 0:39
Welcome to nervous laughter podcast. Welcome. I'm your host, Jamie. And I'm your host Alyssa to host one podcast with the most just
Unknown Speaker 0:53
I got some news. For you, Alyssa.
Unknown Speaker 0:59
Give me that news. So there was a woman in Canada who found this naked man in her trunk. she didn't know he was there. No, for like three days.
Unknown Speaker 1:13
poop in the trunk to I guess I didn't get that part of the report. But he's the guy didn't like eat or anything. And I guess there was no smells that she could notice. So maybe he just didn't have any poop to give. To give. Um, but yeah, she like I watched the video too. And it's like she gets in the car. And then you can kind of see in the trunk with inhale like that center. Console pull out thing gets pulled down. Oh, yeah, there was kind of like some cracks in the back that you you could kind of see through and she started recording and she was like,
Unknown Speaker 1:48
Hey, are you in my trunk? And are like, What are you doing my trunk? And are you naked? And he was like, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:57
it's a rite of passage. I'm pretty sure the guy was crazy, though. Cuz he was saying that he was like, son of the Pope and stuff like that. I thought it was gonna be like a fuckin fraternity thing or something. At first, I was like, what? Like these boys today?
Unknown Speaker 2:16
And their parties? Um, yeah, so that's one thing that was kind of weird. And there's more with selling some stuff from your butt with that chick that was selling her farts.
Unknown Speaker 2:30
Farah from Teen Mom. I don't know if you're familiar with her or not. But I guess she caught wind of that. And
Unknown Speaker 2:39
she started selling it. Well, she started selling with like slime poop. And a lot of people are annoyed with her because she's like, putting it up selling it like through her daughter's like, venues, I guess like I know her daughter has an Instagram and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 2:56
So a lot of people have issues with how she raises her daughter in general. But she said that one lucky follower by buys some of that slime poop would be getting this little vial with a cotton ball that's supposed to have like, I guess like the scent of her poop.
Unknown Speaker 3:16
She bought in the bathroom. And every article I read it sounds like she poops. She's poop standing up next to her toilet.
Unknown Speaker 3:26
I don't know why that would have been necessary. Or if that was just worded weird. And her I just don't understand. But from what it sounds like. It sounds like yeah, she got a cotton ball to absorb the sense in the essence of the bathroom while she was using it. Put it in this little tube. Put a cork on top and then just Saran wrapped it so there's no actual poop on the Cotton Bowl. No. Which is bullshit. Yeah, I mean, if you're that fucking weird I feel like you're just want the poop to Yeah, you know? It pardon me almost thinks like maybe she was wanting to sell her poop. But her daughter maybe had issue with it because part of an article I was reading of that was like one kind of theory was just like, well, maybe she went the slime poop route because you know her daughter was like, kind of weirded out like Mom, why are you selling poop? And it's like, Oh no, it's just slime. Poop and then we'll have a special giveaway. Oh my god. My first thought was like, she's kind of testing the waters like okay, people like this cotton. Maybe they'll like, more like a whole shirt.
Unknown Speaker 4:36
Shirt.
Unknown Speaker 4:40
I
Unknown Speaker 4:42
mean, what do you think happens to poop if it's just like, left alone? I mean, I know like dog poop like hardens? Do you think human poop does the same thing? Hmm. Or does that like liquify having seen poop smeared on walls?
Unknown Speaker 5:00
Before it definitely dries
Unknown Speaker 5:05
Well, that's good that way. I guess she could. If she does end up selling poop, it'll be kind of naturally preserved, I guess. Yeah. fossilized.
Unknown Speaker 5:16
Man, what are people gonna think like 1000s of years from now when they started digging up all of our figurative and literal shit. vials of bathwater. We're like what are all these pictures with people eating stuff out of toilets? Was
Unknown Speaker 5:31
there like bolt real bowls?
Unknown Speaker 5:36
Yeah, so that's that's the all the news that I have for today
Unknown Speaker 5:41
at BP ppb, Mimi
Unknown Speaker 5:44
report?
Unknown Speaker 5:48
Well, I have a weird story.
Unknown Speaker 5:52
So we went to the RV Expo downtown on Friday, and it was me and carboy number two and carboy number three. And we have an RV now, but
Unknown Speaker 6:07
I forgot the name of what he wants. But basically, it's like the RV we have now like,
Unknown Speaker 6:12
you get into it and drive it. But it's also like the
Unknown Speaker 6:16
sleeping stuff. And it's like everything. But we want to get one that's like you can disconnect the truck from it. But it doesn't have wheels on its own. It just kind of like fits over the truck. Yeah, so we're looking for that. But it has wheels like on the back. Right? It's like, just like floats in the air. It's like a truck. Yeah. Explain it to me. So it's like what? Oh, wait, you're serious? Yeah, I thought you were just like, No being sarcastic. Like sits on the truck. Like part of it goes on the top of the truck. And the other part is like in the bed? Oh my god. Yeah, it doesn't have wheels.
Unknown Speaker 6:53
Oh, okay. I think it's called like a truck camper, or like, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 6:59
So we're looking for one of those. And the expo didn't really have very many of them, there are a couple, a lot of them are really tiny. But we want to get one that's a little bit bigger. So you know, when we all go to the track, we'd still like have somewhere to stay and stuff. But um, we looked at all those. And then we're looking at all the, like crazy expensive stuff they had, they had like, basically like tour buses, like, Oh, these huge RVs that you could easily live in. I mean, not even like the van life stuff, like the tiny stuff. It was like big stuff. I was really in mind when we're on Tour.
Unknown Speaker 7:38
Tour.
Unknown Speaker 7:39
But we're looking around. And I think that we did not look like we had the money for them, which was great because they were salesman, and they weren't talking to us.
Unknown Speaker 7:50
Keep that in mind.
Unknown Speaker 7:54
You know, most of the people, they're like old people, you know, that are gonna buy one of these and like, retire and die. And then
Unknown Speaker 8:02
they like talking to them. So finally, towards the end, this one guy talks to us.
Unknown Speaker 8:08
And he's like, What are you guys looking for? Like, what do you do in and
Unknown Speaker 8:13
carboy number three is like, Oh, we're looking for a truck camper. And the guy's like, why, like all disgusted? Because he's selling like the bigger nicer stuff. Oh, and he's like, of course these people want that. Yeah, he's like wanting to sell us something that's like a quarter million dollars. It's not we're looking for. And
Unknown Speaker 8:36
so carboy number three goes.
Unknown Speaker 8:40
It's personal. And I was like, what what the fuck? I hear it's personal. And I'm like, This is really awkward. And then the the salesman guy like makes this really weird face like, Oh, that is a dick. And I'm like, This is a weird situation. I feel like I'm losing what's happening. So.
Unknown Speaker 9:01
So we walk away and I'm like feeling really weird because I'm like carboy number three is never just like a dick like that.
Unknown Speaker 9:11
So cardboard number three set it. As I said number two. Oh, no, sorry. Okay. Cardboard number three was like, Okay, I heard him say it's personal to the salesman. I was like, Oh, I guess he's just like, telling him to fuck off. But like, he's typically not like that. So I was like, super uncomfortable. And so we're walking around a little bit more. I was like, that was really weird.
Unknown Speaker 9:35
And he was like, What do you mean? And then I was like, whenever you said to him, it's personal. Why you wanted this specific thing. He was like, what? And then cargo number two is like Yeah, I heard you say it's personal too. And then carboy number three is like I said it's versatile. I
Unknown Speaker 9:58
wonder what the
Unknown Speaker 10:00
salesman he heard I think he heard it's personal too. Cuz he made this like awful face
Unknown Speaker 10:09
ever like, okay, that makes so much more
Unknown Speaker 10:14
rather than just like cracking his knuckles while he says it like personal
Unknown Speaker 10:18
personal business
Unknown Speaker 10:20
get out of here.
Unknown Speaker 10:23
But yeah, it was really funny and the rest of the night like when anyone asked a question we're like it's personal
Unknown Speaker 10:30
out here.
Unknown Speaker 10:32
But yeah with a mask on if you say it's versatile, it sounds exactly like it's personal. So just a was gonna say put your mask down to say it but don't be
Unknown Speaker 10:45
put your mask down and spread your germs. Say it's first of all, and then I was thinking hold a V up to your mouth, but then that also looks really wrong.
Unknown Speaker 10:55
It's very subtle.
Unknown Speaker 11:00
Yeah, that was pretty funny. And then
Unknown Speaker 11:03
they had these like really stupid signs printed out. They were stuck to the RVs
Unknown Speaker 11:10
and they're just like different colored pieces of paper with like funny little sayings. And I took pictures of some of them because they're just so stupid. So they weren't for like purchasing it was just like, there's just like little like, live laugh love. I don't know why they had him on there. But there was one that said hey, Alexa, pack the camper.
Unknown Speaker 11:34
Another one said I still don't know what a wine stopper is for.
Unknown Speaker 11:40
Me stop drinking. Never
Unknown Speaker 11:45
poisoning
Unknown Speaker 11:49
what I'm just says, um, cupcakes.
Unknown Speaker 11:54
Like it's kind of like an eye chart. Like the M starts out big and then it gets smaller. I
Unknown Speaker 12:00
don't know if that was for creative. Yeah. This other ones as I'm just gonna put an out of order sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Unknown Speaker 12:12
Me too.
Unknown Speaker 12:17
We have another alcoholic one. If target had a bar, my life would be perfect.
Unknown Speaker 12:24
They're gonna start doing like a Starbucks bar. combo and target now.
Unknown Speaker 12:30
Yeah, but these were just like randomly stuck on the RVs I guess to maybe be like a conversation starter. I don't know. When to place ice breakers. Convention. Yeah. These taped and they're like on different pieces of colored paper. They're gonna want to go like print out a bunch of stuff like that and go to a convention to see random places. It was so weird. Oh, this is another good one. I didn't know he was planning to breathe so loudly when I agreed to marry him. It's my
Unknown Speaker 13:03
breathing stop doing.
Unknown Speaker 13:06
Marriage. It's like a deck of cards in the beginning. All you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club in a spade? Whoa, that's brutal murder.
Unknown Speaker 13:21
At the end, you wish you could beat your wife
Unknown Speaker 13:27
you can kill this bitch and one of these RVs tell anybody. I want to get the numbers up. It's funny how it's like a bunch of jokes about like alcoholism and domestic
Unknown Speaker 13:41
they're pandering to the RV crowd. I mean,
Unknown Speaker 13:44
the RV people are like, older like Magga people. Yeah, and they're okay with domestic violence.
Unknown Speaker 13:52
So funny.
Unknown Speaker 14:00
So that was a weird thing. It was fun though. I like go into those things. So you can just walk around and go up into all these different RVs and like, look at the floor plan and is it free to go in? Or? It was like eight books? Oh, okay. That's
Unknown Speaker 14:16
yeah, like, small. I like RVs and like tiny houses just because? Yeah, like you said, like the floor plans and like the storage. Yeah, storage is incredible. It is.
Unknown Speaker 14:29
They have this storage under RVs that just open it up and you can put luggage and stuff in there. And I was like, Oh, that would be like a cool little reading note. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 14:42
But now, like, I feel like I don't want you to do it because I don't want to get stuck in there.
Unknown Speaker 14:48
It's gonna be like carbon monoxide poisoning thing in there. Yeah, I've heard this. Um, well, I didn't read it. I watched a YouTube video about it. But there was a guy a long time ago. He lived in Australia.
Unknown Speaker 15:00
He was from the UK. I think he couldn't afford a plane ticket ticket back home. So he decided to ship himself. Oh shit. Yeah, I heard about that on some podcasts. I don't remember. What which one. It was one of the the there was like crazy stuff that happened because so he wound up living and being fine. But like he got turned upside down. Yeah, like, last time. Yeah, I think it was like 20 Something hours. I'm surprised he didn't die. And then he got stuck on
Unknown Speaker 15:29
the flight you the next flight he was supposed to get on got filled up and overflowed. So he got bumped to a different point with a longer route.
Unknown Speaker 15:38
And yeah, so he was I think he had to go to the hospital after that and get Yeah, that was a crazy story. Like, Wasn't it supposed to take him like three days and it took like a week or something like that? Yeah, I can't remember like the exact numbers or anything. But yeah, it got considerably longer. And he was like, kind of, you know, he had his knees up to his chest and stuff and his knees were stuck in like would not unfold for a while. Oh my God, I feel like that. So my knees are gonna be if I sit for like, 20 minutes. I can like three days. Out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, so that was a bad idea. Yeah. But I mean, I think like a long time ago, when like, the post first started, I think like people used to ship their kids and stuff. They would, they wouldn't like pack them up in boxes or anything. I don't think they would just be like you put the postage with them and send them along with the mail.
Unknown Speaker 16:37
That's pretty funny. Make
Unknown Speaker 16:42
America Great.
Unknown Speaker 16:45
Ship.
Unknown Speaker 16:48
So I came across another weird word, like dustup.
Unknown Speaker 16:54
So we're watching a Rosemary's Baby. Have you ever seen it? I haven't. And I don't even know what it's about, to be honest. Well, first off, it's filmed by like, a shithead. Guy, which I forgot about. I watched it when I was like, oh, Roman Polanski, who's like a pedophile that got kicked out of America. So that's kind of a bummer. But it's really good movie. Um, so fuck him. But anyway, maybe, um, it's filmed in the 60s. And it's this younger lady and her husband, and they move into this new apartment building.
Unknown Speaker 17:35
And they decide they're going to have a baby. And all this shit happens with her baby. And they have these neighbors that are really creepy. And like, it's good movie. It's like two hours long, and it's really slow. But I really like it, sir, watching it. And she gets pregnant and she keeps getting like sicker and sicker. And her doctor a second time, or this is what the first the first. She only has the one but she keeps getting really sick. And the doctor she's going to was recommended by these like creepy neighbors. So she starts thinking like, oh, man, like everybody's kind of like not listening to me. And they're all being really weird. So is this just the movie about being a woman
Unknown Speaker 18:22
she's already a petite lady that as the movie goes on, she just gets like skinnier and has these like, bags under her.
Unknown Speaker 18:33
She's like dying. But she sees an old friend that she hasn't seen in a while and she's telling him like, yeah, like I'm pregnant and all the shits going on with doctor said it's normal. And so he's like, You need to go to this other doctor. And so she goes home after seeing the friend and she's talking with her husband. And she's like, well, he thinks I need to go see this other doctor.
Unknown Speaker 18:57
And the husband goes, honey, he's just a crepe hanger. A crepe hanger a crepe hanger and my French
Unknown Speaker 19:07
My first thought was like, this is a homophobic slur
Unknown Speaker 19:14
that's my mind when I'm like, No, it's the 60s like it just sounds like it would be like a homophobic slur flow via
Unknown Speaker 19:25
you're scared of gay Bla.
Unknown Speaker 19:29
But they creep hanger is one who takes a pessimistic view of things. And the example is killjoy. Man is doomed say the crepe hangers to overpopulate this planet. I'm a creeping
Unknown Speaker 19:47
couple of Craig Wright hangers hanging out a couple of cranes. That sounds like a position in like a French restaurant.
Unknown Speaker 19:56
And the crepes are ready for drying.
Unknown Speaker 20:02
Just some small, teeny tiny little old person like hanging these little Grapes.
Unknown Speaker 20:10
Grapes grapes.
Unknown Speaker 20:12
Yeah, we learned the new one.
Unknown Speaker 20:16
I learned a new word today too. Um, they just kind of caught me by surprise because like, um, so the word is a dickered. Have you ever heard that before? I actually heard this one this week. Weird that you say that.
Unknown Speaker 20:33
So Dicker
Unknown Speaker 20:35
down it means to engage in petty argument or bargaining, or to treat something casually or irresponsibly to toy with something. So like, of course, I've heard of like dick around and stuff like that. I didn't know like dhikr was like, an actual word. And defined in the Webster's Dictionary. How did you find out about it? I was watching a video this morning and
Unknown Speaker 21:02
and they said it but like, I can't remember what the video
Unknown Speaker 21:06
oh, it was a video where this chick was talking about that huge
Unknown Speaker 21:14
shit apartment complex in New York. That's like built like garbage. Like super tall. It's like a skyscraper complex shit. And like, I think it's called like 732 or something but like billionaires live there and stuff but it's just been notorious for like being shit. Tons of floods on like, the 80 Something floor and Damn, yeah, but yeah, that was like something that one of the people said like and I don't know if it was just like in court or to a newspaper but one of the the billionaires Of course with their sophisticated vocabulary.
Unknown Speaker 21:47
So we started watching a show the other night and I'm trying to remember if it's on Discovery plus maybe but the show is called Oh, here we go. It's called Down East dickering.
Unknown Speaker 22:01
Anger flipping through and it was like WHAT the fuck is that is I started watching it. It's pretty funny and it's this these group of guys that do like trading and
Unknown Speaker 22:14
stuff like that. And that's how they make their living. Like they went and bought the shed full of chain saws for like $100 and then they like sold them out a bunch more but yeah, they're called Decker's Dicker
Unknown Speaker 22:29
so I'm gonna keep watching the show because they have some weird shit on there like their nicknames are like cod fish and
Unknown Speaker 22:38
Yeti yummy and weird shit.
Unknown Speaker 22:41
I need the Yeah, I definitely don't watch that. I'm trying to just Google what is a group of decks called like
Unknown Speaker 22:51
a gaggle of decks
Unknown Speaker 22:55
oh, it just comes up with a group of ducks.
Unknown Speaker 22:59
Which let me see what they're called. Oh, is it called a raft of dot o around a team of ducks or a paddling Am I like a team of duck
Unknown Speaker 23:15
I'm so on to other things related to the internet. I got an email through the internet from
Unknown Speaker 23:27
from Alyssa
Unknown Speaker 23:29
would you like to read it? Or?
Unknown Speaker 23:32
Let me see if I can pull it up.
Unknown Speaker 23:34
Oh yeah, no, we got we started the sending back and forth like those different like remote like
Unknown Speaker 23:45
so what happened was I was sitting in the office
Unknown Speaker 23:51
and a customer came in and I wasn't really doing anything and he was talking with car boy number three. So I just like felt weird sitting there so I started trying to make it look like I was busy.
Unknown Speaker 24:04
Instead of just going in somewhere checking your phone and leaving
Unknown Speaker 24:12
so I sent an email to Jamie titled I almost titled this help but didn't want to alarm.
Unknown Speaker 24:19
And this was a month ago so I really don't remember what I wrote. So let's see. I'm just typing stuff to like busy right now because there's
Unknown Speaker 24:32
because there's a customer here and I feel awkward. I don't know what else to do while they talk. So I am looking busy. Busy, busy, busy.
Unknown Speaker 24:43
I love that part.
Unknown Speaker 24:47
are busy. I am looking scared.
Unknown Speaker 24:53
No idea what they're talking about. If I pay the
Unknown Speaker 24:59
price
Unknown Speaker 25:00
should definitely be a car girl but
Unknown Speaker 25:05
I need to learn to pay attention better. That's all because I think they are wrapping up. See you this weekend. Alyssa.
Unknown Speaker 25:15
busy busy busy
Unknown Speaker 25:23
have any friends
Unknown Speaker 25:28
I cracked up laughing
Unknown Speaker 25:33
I liked the rest of our stuff here too. When we started talking about the dancing guys, we'll have to put a picture of them. Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, I was trying to your brain
Unknown Speaker 25:51
yeah, I've definitely um
Unknown Speaker 25:54
I don't think I've done like the emails to appear busy, but I've definitely done the like, fuck around on your phone and stuff trying to
Unknown Speaker 26:02
to appear busy. And I've also, you know, worn headphones to try to ignore people. That's a good one. I've been in offices where I've done that. And then I hear them like, call my name and I'm just like, just don't just don't have headphones in here. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, Oh, she's busy. I'm gonna keep talking. Like they should idea.
Unknown Speaker 26:22
Um,
Unknown Speaker 26:24
so something else that I wanted to talk to you about because it's just been popping into my head often on lately, so
Unknown Speaker 26:35
I know that you are familiar with the German cannibal, the infamous German Chamomile chamomile.
Unknown Speaker 26:42
cannibal.
Unknown Speaker 26:44
For those of you that aren't familiar, it's this guy named Arman
Unknown Speaker 26:50
Morales me my was I don't know me I WBS. And in 2001, he had an engagement with a with a man who nearly both agreed that they would you would be eaten? Because they have some great pinger shit, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 27:12
Bora for I can't pronounce it boar rare familia, rare philia the finish where you want to be eaten or consumed and or want to consume people.
Unknown Speaker 27:28
So anyway, there's one part in the story where it talks about whenever they he cooks us penis up. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 27:36
But he burns it. And I have just been thinking about that. Because I'm just like, that sucks. That's like,
Unknown Speaker 27:43
Shut up there. And like the guy was all you know, fucked up on like, drugs and alcohol and just like, well, you know, it's like, can you do is just, oh, he was still alive when they cook the deck? Yeah. Were they gonna eat it together? I think he saw I don't know if he burned the whole deck or not. I know that he? I don't know if he said parts of the guy's dick to him. To him more to him
Unknown Speaker 28:09
or not.
Unknown Speaker 28:11
But I know that he did feed pieces of himself to him that himself isn't. Yeah, but the guy consumed himself. Pieces of himself. How can you still Oh man, I guess they had some crazy drugs. Yeah, well, and I know before this happened, the guy went on like a like a binder of partying, doing drugs and stuff, Dan, but if I'm not mistaken, he fed the burnt
Unknown Speaker 28:36
part of the penis to the dog.
Unknown Speaker 28:40
Just because I guess it was an edible, but it's just like, I don't know. I've just been thinking about that. Because it's just like,
Unknown Speaker 28:48
you know, one shot or you can burn the dig. Yeah, we did that. You only get one.
Unknown Speaker 28:55
Once in a lifetime, yo.
Unknown Speaker 28:58
And so I don't know. That's just that's just one kind of sticking with me. I'm just like, that just that just sucks. I'd be so disappointed if the guy I agreed to do that with like, burn, burned my penis and
Unknown Speaker 29:11
because I'd almost be tempted to say like, Hey, let's not continue through with this. Let me live so we can try again. But then you don't have a penis.
Unknown Speaker 29:19
Continue forward. Like, what does she mean? Like so he could regrow dick?
Unknown Speaker 29:25
There have been um,
Unknown Speaker 29:30
I don't know what it's called or whatever. I don't think it's in the US but there was a guy that like was
Unknown Speaker 29:37
needed a new penis or penis replacement, and they had to like grow a dick on his arm. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I would just like want to smack people.
Unknown Speaker 29:57
Armed licorice one minute
Unknown Speaker 30:03
But yeah, I've just been thinking about that penis guy and then the, um, the guy that died from that slug that he ate. Oh, yeah, right lung disease.
Unknown Speaker 30:14
Yeah, fat heads if anybody ever dares you to eat a slug, don't do it because you can get rat lungworm disease, and then you'll be paralyzed for years and then die.
Unknown Speaker 30:27
Yeah, I remember how he started talking about that. The other day I sent Jamie a tick tock. And I was like, This is what my tick tock feed is like, to people. Like fucking dancing. I don't remember what song but they're dancing and on the screen, it was talking about the risks of eating.
Unknown Speaker 30:50
And then we started talking about the rat lungworm thing. But yeah, if you eat a person, you can pick up prions which are like this super deadly. I don't remember exactly what it is.
Unknown Speaker 31:04
It's but it like goes to your brain. Right? Yeah, it's like a parasite. But I guess it could be considered parasitic. Because it just like, takes over your body. But yeah, you can get prions if you eat people. Like mad cow disease comes from prion. Yeah, stick to the whole flu. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 31:26
But tau or fake human meat, we should trial food. We should. I'm kind of nervous too. But what if I like it? And they go on a rampage? No, don't look at me.
Unknown Speaker 31:42
Um, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 31:46
So I don't feel nervous about trying it just because like, trying real meats, and then trying like the meat alternatives. Just how differently tastes? I just have a feeling it's gonna just be like, Oh, that's a good point. Do you like tofu or something? Yeah. Just gonna be like, alright, well, it's not like I'm ever gonna confirm if
Unknown Speaker 32:10
I could be anything. And I'd be like, Okay, I guess that's what a human is like.
Unknown Speaker 32:15
Oh, did you hear about that? There was that guy that had to get his foot amputated? And then, um, he kept it and then
Unknown Speaker 32:25
it was out of it. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 32:28
So are we gonna do that if either one of us ever gets the limb cut off? Ah,
Unknown Speaker 32:35
I don't know what I think finally is like YOLO. Part of me is like, oh, part of me is intrigued. But another part of me is like, as soon as you see it, you won't. You'll want to leave. Yeah, just like seeing a human foot. And what I think about when eating a part of a body is like,
Unknown Speaker 32:56
I saw shit like that at the funeral home. Like one time I had to go to the hospital and pick up this guy's leg. They got amputated because they wanted it cremated and then whenever he dies, they would put the leg ashes with like the rest of them. That's a thing. I never thought
Unknown Speaker 33:14
it only happened one time, but I just think of how that body part looks because they put it in like a red biohazard bag. Like it was in a red bag. And then like a biohazard box. And if you've worked with biohazard stuff, you just think of all the nasty shit that goes into those boxes. So yeah, that on top of a foot or whatever, I'm like, Oh, I don't know. And then it's probably kept in a cooler with like, other nasty stuff. I don't know. I guess if we just like, whacked off one of our feet and ate it fresh. Maybe. If it was sitting in a hospital. Refrigerator. I don't think I could, huh, Jamie?
Unknown Speaker 33:58
carboy number one, we'll punch it all.
Unknown Speaker 34:02
Tinder
Unknown Speaker 34:08
So wait, first out just because all the other stuff they keep in the refrigerator. Yeah, I mean, it could be next to like another dead body that's so gross. Or makes your bodies or other like, samples or he never know what it could be next to me. That's man stuff I've never really thought about because I don't I've never been in that line worker and you kind of similar line of work. Was this like a full leg? Or like how big are we talking? You know, I didn't actually look at the box or anything. Um, so I'm not sure. Okay. I didn't open it. Yeah, I just imagine like, the box being like, kind of small with the legs. Just like fold it up. Pull it up inside of it bent. Yeah. How much it was because it was just one of those like standard biohazard boxes. It's like a cardboard thing and you fold it up. It's probably
Unknown Speaker 35:00
Like that wide, okay. Like 50 mouthwash. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 35:07
Yeah. 30 To 50 mouthwash cups.
Unknown Speaker 35:10
So do you burn the BOK like, Oh, I see number in the box since you didn't see it. Okay. Yeah, I didn't do the crematory stuff. But yeah, you would just put like whatever container it was in.
Unknown Speaker 35:24
So if somebody dies with a pacemaker, you have to cut that out, because it'll explode and the crematory Oh, whoa. So I've chopped a lot of pacemakers out. Whoa, that's in the heart, right? It's kind of it's like on the side, not really the shoulder, but like, on the side of the heart, okay. Is it under the ribs?
Unknown Speaker 35:48
No, it's, it's kind of like, you can see the outline of it. And like, some tissue grows over it, but it's not very deep. Okay. So you don't have to like crack
Unknown Speaker 35:58
higher up than the rib. And it just kind of gets like a couple layers, like muscle or whatever. Or if somebody has had one forever, it's a little deeper, but it's not like, super like in there. Okay. It's pretty shallow. I thought it was the heart. So I was like
Unknown Speaker 36:21
yeah, we'll have to do like a whole episode on just
Unknown Speaker 36:25
mortuary stuff. Because like, I don't know, all that stuff. So crazy. And just in the sense of like, I've never things I've never thought of before. So if you have any mortuary questions, now? Yeah. Send them to us. I didn't mean to, like, put you on the spot. Like I kind of forget about some of them. Like I haven't thought about that cremated leg and tell you about this, like, oh, yeah, did that you have a leg up now?
Unknown Speaker 36:55
Oh, so Okay, kind of to jump back to like, us learning stuff.
Unknown Speaker 37:02
So, um, another word I learned. So when plants pollinate themselves, it's called selfing. Oh
Unknown Speaker 37:15
I myself,
Unknown Speaker 37:17
just selfing I just I, I thought that was really, really funny. I learned about at work because I was in a little thing. Um, I work with a bunch of scientists, and some of them are plant scientists. So I attended a little talk where they're talking about that, and I think I had my camera on and luckily, on my audio, because I just like busted out laughing.
Unknown Speaker 37:42
I was like, Man, I look like a fucking like, 12 year old boy.
Unknown Speaker 37:50
Go south yourself.
Unknown Speaker 37:54
Oh, this isn't really related to anything that we've talked about. But I have a note here that says diet green tea.
Unknown Speaker 38:03
it well. I guess I'll go ahead. I was gonna say I should save this for the poop episode. But oh, I'm sure there's plenty of other poop stories. But I got this box a green tea. And you know, green tea supposed to be good for like weight loss or whatever? Is this recent? This was
Unknown Speaker 38:23
maybe like five or six years ago. Okay. So I picked up this box of tea and it said like dieters green tea. So I was like, Oh, it's just like a marketing gimmick, whatever. They're just kind of using green tea to be like, oh, yeah, it can help you with weight loss was like, Okay, I'll buy this.
Unknown Speaker 38:40
So I was taking a break from drinking coffee for some reason. So it was like, I'm switching to green tea. So had these bags, and I probably drank like,
Unknown Speaker 38:51
two, three, maybe four bags of tea that day. And we went out tea
Unknown Speaker 38:58
was really good. So we went out to eat and we're sitting there and I'm like, oh, no, like, I really have to get to the bathroom. And I went in there and like nothing happened but my stomach hurt like so fucking bad. Was it a laxative?
Unknown Speaker 39:18
We get home and I'm like, your stomach is like fucked up. Like,
Unknown Speaker 39:24
I was just so bloated and it just felt like awful. And then I'm like, What did I do differently? Like, what went wrong? And I finally remember the tea. So I go and look at the box. And the reason it was called dieters tea is because it was like a laxative tea. And I drank like twice the amount
Unknown Speaker 39:52
so I definitely got rid of that tea afterwards because it ended up not so great.
Unknown Speaker 40:01
Man you drink like twice as much how did that like? Like, you don't have to go and like to the detail, but like, how did that affect you? Like, was it the rest of the day or like this? Like it happened in the evening? They're like, that's when everything kind of hit.
Unknown Speaker 40:18
By the next day, I was like, pretty much normal. But yeah, there for a little while, like we were watching TV and I'd be like, Hey, can you pause the TV for?
Unknown Speaker 40:29
I would have been like, I'm gonna poop forever. Scary.
Unknown Speaker 40:35
Really wasn't that bed but like it made my stomach feels so awful. Like, whatever was in there like it hurt.
Unknown Speaker 40:44
All this poop chemicals just like really fucked.
Unknown Speaker 40:51
Oh,
Unknown Speaker 40:53
oh, another thing related to poop.
Unknown Speaker 40:58
We went to eat it. Lupe tortilla or No, we got it to go.
Unknown Speaker 41:04
And we got like,
Unknown Speaker 41:06
a bunch of stuff. And I got these ribs and then we got chicken fajitas where the ribs go.
Unknown Speaker 41:14
There. Okay. Yeah, they're okay. I've been I've been wanting rooms and we got and it was a disappointment. Okay, I think loopy tortilla is kind of expensive for what it is. I'm not like the biggest fan. And then after this definitely not. Oh, no. So I'm eating the ribs and carboy number two or three gets heated and they're chicken. And I'm like, those look kind of weird. Like the chicken. It looked a little bit too light. Like I felt like it should have been a darker color. But he likes undercooked like or like different meat. I like maybe it was a little undercooked. So I was like, I'm not gonna eat those. I was eating my ribs.
Unknown Speaker 41:53
Well, he was fine. So the next day I was like, okay, like he has a really sensitive stomach. So, like if he ate them and was fine. I'm sure they're fine. So
Unknown Speaker 42:03
I eat some of the chicken.
Unknown Speaker 42:06
And then like that was during the day. Then the next morning I woke up and I was like, Oh, no.
Unknown Speaker 42:17
We both like, luckily, we have two bathrooms. So we're like in different bathrooms. And we definitely had food poisoning. I mean, luckily, it wasn't the throw up kind because like I hate throwing up. Yeah, like I hate it so much. So we're both in different bathrooms. And I have to call into work. Like there's absolutely no way I could go. I mean, this was like a year ago.
Unknown Speaker 42:39
Yeah, it was hearing COVID. So I called in. And at that time, my job had a thing where if you had any COVID symptom, even if you had a headache and knew it was because you were dehydrated, something like that. Like if you called in and you had a COVID symptom, you had to go get tested no matter what. And we had to go to a specific testing facility that they had a contract with. Hmm, so while having food poisoning, I had to drive downtown
Unknown Speaker 43:08
to get a COVID test. Wait, why did they make you do did they make you do that? Because you were nauseous? Yeah. stomach problem. Yeah, because of stomach problems. So why wouldn't they just like wait, so you can come back to work to make you do that? Like, let's? Yeah, yeah. So like any symptom, you had to go get tested. And I'm like, I know I have food poisoning like we most definitely have food poisoning. And they're like, Well, you have to, so I got it. And of course I was negative. But
Unknown Speaker 43:40
then the next day, they're like, Oh, you're negative. Do you want to come back? I'm like, no.
Unknown Speaker 43:46
My pants like, no.
Unknown Speaker 43:49
It was crazy whenever I went and was like, Okay, I think I'm good. And I was like it was fine, but I didn't really know what to do. So I just like took a towel.
Unknown Speaker 44:02
Like, I guess I'll take a towel like he did go to work. No. Oh, no. Sorry to go get the test. Oh, yeah, I had to drive the test and I was gonna be on the highway. I was like, what if disaster strikes? That's a good
Unknown Speaker 44:20
disaster. No, no, it's fine. For being food poisoning. I mean, like, it was definitely bad but
Unknown Speaker 44:37
George decided that he's going to keep working. Cuz I mean, it was okay. We just had to go to the bathroom every once in a while. Yeah. And so you know, he works for himself. But at that time, he had another guy
Unknown Speaker 44:50
just laying down like those little like puppy pads.
Unknown Speaker 45:00
Get my test and I guess that lock the back door. So he was coming inside to go the bathroom so he didn't mess up the bathroom in the shop for and he was probably in a rush.
Unknown Speaker 45:11
See, I'm like running into the house
Unknown Speaker 45:19
Oh shit, I'm sorry. I locked the door
Unknown Speaker 45:28
did he have any?
Unknown Speaker 45:31
For being food? Food poisoning? Like we definitely lucked out. But yeah, there are a lot of scary things that could happen in that timeframe.
Unknown Speaker 45:40
I don't know if I've ever had food poisoning. It's just food poisoning just refer to like, if you just get really upset your stomach gets super upset. I honestly I'm not really that. Sure. Like, I think so. I mean, ours was, I mean, it was unpleasant, but I knew like some people get it. Like my coworker was saying one time her boyfriend had it and she had to, like help him like get out of bed and stuff. Like really? Crazy. Mm hmm. Um, yeah, that kind of reminds me of a story I had whenever I got sick. Um, so sometimes I just get this thing where I just get like, I don't know where I'll just get like really dizzy, and then I get super nauseous.
Unknown Speaker 46:24
I don't know what causes it. It happens randomly. So like one time I showed up to work. I said hi to my boss, that I sat at my desk. And then that happened. So I went to the bathroom.
Unknown Speaker 46:37
And like threw up and stuff and just seeing if it would go away and it wasn't. So then I went back into her office and was like, I'm not feeling well, I have to go which was I think she was kind of like, WHAT THE FUCK THE FUCK, but on my way home, so I had like, just gotten a new car, like, a few weeks before this, and it has a luckily, it has a fantastic like auto pilot feature. It's not like, like, self driving like Tesla. But like, if you're in slow traffic, um, or, you know, whatever it it does a really great job. And so, um, man
Unknown Speaker 47:15
driving home, I was driving up 360 And the traffic was kind of dying down, but they're still a little bit so I wasn't like going fast or anything with that autopilot. But yeah, I left on my little pot a little away. I left it on autopilot because I kept
Unknown Speaker 47:32
puking
Unknown Speaker 47:35
anything to puke in. So like whenever I felt the first syrup coming off. I took off my jacket and put it in the seat next to me.
Unknown Speaker 47:44
So you had it spread out on the seat next year just puking into on the sea
Unknown Speaker 47:56
and, yeah, luckily, like I got home and I mean, obviously I cleaned the jacket, but like did it reach the seat? No. Oh, yeah. So it was nice and clean. And I still have the jacket. Is it that one? No.
Unknown Speaker 48:12
Luckily, it was like a super thick like winter jacket. So it really held really held it all in there. Yeah. And it was it wasn't like a one word could like slide all over. It was like a jacket. Like nice. Not windbreaker like
Unknown Speaker 48:26
so
Unknown Speaker 48:28
yeah, that was
Unknown Speaker 48:30
that was fun getting home.
Unknown Speaker 48:33
And yeah, I was super thankful to have that feature in my car because there's no way I could just drive myself. Oh, man.
Unknown Speaker 48:43
Ah, um, so another like, puking into a clothing item in a car story.
Unknown Speaker 48:52
You're living my worst nightmare with that, like,
Unknown Speaker 48:57
throwing up.
Unknown Speaker 48:59
So at my last job
Unknown Speaker 49:02
we had
Unknown Speaker 49:04
we did like a boat party thing. It was like a smaller company. So it was It wasn't like, you know, like a yacht or whatever. It's just like a small party. Like yeah, like to level thing. And it was funny because it I don't want to sound like that person that's like, Oh, my life is like the office and so relatable.
Unknown Speaker 49:24
Like, nice, really kind of felt like that for a little bit. Because you know, when the so like the guy was giving us like, you know, the rundown?
Unknown Speaker 49:36
Yeah. And then like our boss, or British boss was just like British Mike. He just like kept talking the whole time and like making jokes and stuff and then like, I hate that shit. And then the guy was like, Can someone tell the British guy to shut up
Unknown Speaker 49:58
so, and I think I
Unknown Speaker 50:00
I got like really, really drunk.
Unknown Speaker 50:03
I started apologizing to him for just everyone's behavior. Oh, that would be me to be like, I know like, Fuck, I'm sorry. We're here. I was like, I'm so sorry that like, you know, and I think I might have even been like it's at that was kind of reminded me of the office.
Unknown Speaker 50:21
He was probably like, Man, this cringy bitch.
Unknown Speaker 50:24
But anyway to the firm up, so I got super drunk.
Unknown Speaker 50:29
We went to the dock, everyone got like Ubers and some of us were like, grouped together and Ubers to get home. Luckily, I was in the back seat sitting with
Unknown Speaker 50:40
a friend I have that's now a nurse. And she was getting nursing school at the time. So thankfully, she was like, you know, in the mindset to deal with the people throw in it.
Unknown Speaker 50:51
But yeah, I just felt it coming up. And I just got my son hat. And I puked on my Sunday
Unknown Speaker 51:01
and I just got puking and my son hat.
Unknown Speaker 51:04
What are your drivers say? Well,
Unknown Speaker 51:08
me being drunk. I was like, good. He doesn't know.
Unknown Speaker 51:13
No idea.
Unknown Speaker 51:16
I'm not making us like I'm not making a mess. And I'm just you're puking quietly. I don't think you quietly
Unknown Speaker 51:23
if I'm not mistaken, I think I wrapped it up in my towel. But whenever we stopped to drop off the first person, I just opened the door and just started wailing out of the
Unknown Speaker 51:36
Uber.
Unknown Speaker 51:38
Uber throwing,
Unknown Speaker 51:40
then he was just like, She gonna be okay, the Uber driver, like,
Unknown Speaker 51:44
I think it was he was kind of trying to politely be like, You guys need to handle this. And so the guy that we dropped off, he was like, Oh, it's okay. Like, I'll I'll go ahead and bring her home. She doesn't live that far for me.
Unknown Speaker 51:56
And so yeah, he brought me home. And
Unknown Speaker 52:00
it was weird because the apartment we were at has like a gate you need a gate code for. And I know I was drunk, but I swear to fucking god, I gave him the correct gate code. And it was not opening. Oh, no, like, I don't know if he just like didn't hit pound before just something or maybe I did give him the wrong numbers because I'm drunk and I get my numbers mixed up in the wrong orders a lot. Um, and so I was like, It's okay, you can just leave me here. And he was like, trying to back out and then someone else came through and it opened and I was just like, hey, it open.
Unknown Speaker 52:35
drive me to my door.
Unknown Speaker 52:39
And I don't I think I just like threw up more when I got home and then got in bed, but
Unknown Speaker 52:45
I kind of freaked carboy number one out because it's too much. Well, I guess I had not shut the door all the way. So it was still kind of like cracked open and I guess I was just like peeling my clothes off on the way to bed.
Unknown Speaker 53:00
So there was just like a trail of flows from the door to the room. And the door was open. And you know, he said my name and I was like out cold. And so he Oh shit. Walking into that he was really freaked out and then came on woke me up and I was just like, oh, it's
Unknown Speaker 53:19
fun.
Unknown Speaker 53:21
So it was this the same Booze Cruise where you used your jacket to wipe the table? Yes.
Unknown Speaker 53:28
Okay, I'm connecting the dots.
Unknown Speaker 53:31
I feel like I would still do something like that. I wasn't super drunk, because it was like,
Unknown Speaker 53:36
it was like a swim jacket. And
Unknown Speaker 53:40
and I remember wearing that and like getting in the water and people were like, Oh, why are you doing that? It's like it's protecting you from the sun because I'm palest.
Unknown Speaker 53:49
Is it a rash guard? I hate that term. That's like a swimming thing. I think they're the swimsuits. They have like sleeves and stuff or like oh, a rash guard and like a shoe that name is so good. I don't like that word for it but no, it was just like a regular like kind of jacket thing with holes. Oh, so I was edgy. Um, yeah, so I the table I think people I don't know if they spilled food or booze on the table but like you know my jacket was wet so it's like a It's kind of like a rags
Unknown Speaker 54:21
to get off and wiped it up and you know it's like a fog and get back in the water anyway.
Unknown Speaker 54:28
And oh, god that that was just such a long one because I'm so we were booked to just do like, I think just like a couple hours and then a couple hours into it. Our boss decided to just add more time on to it.
Unknown Speaker 54:45
Yeah, and so like I went and like took a nap and a chair next to this other trick that was
Unknown Speaker 54:51
on her phone. I accidentally took like 1000s of pictures
Unknown Speaker 55:00
cuz I don't know if this is like an iPhone thing but I guess like, or maybe a setting she had on but I guess like I held down the picture though and so it just kept instead of just doing that and so it just like did like boom boom boom boom 1000s Yeah just like the next day she was like hey you look like a
Unknown Speaker 55:22
maybe if I can find the picture from the
Unknown Speaker 55:26
I'm sure did you get home like still during the day? Yeah, yeah I hate that so much like being fucked up during the day and then you're just like god damn it like
Unknown Speaker 55:38
it seems so much better to like go to sleep like that and then wake up this morning the next day and yeah, pull day to support your shit out. Yes days like that. I feel like I would like go to sleep for a couple hours and wake up at like eight or nine and be like
Unknown Speaker 55:56
I do feel like it's weird though. I've I've been recently kind of like man, I kind of just want like a day drinking day kind of soon. Let's do it. Just want to go to a couple breweries and just drink
Unknown Speaker 56:09
have some brunch? Yeah. Oh, have you?
Unknown Speaker 56:15
Have you seen any of those tic TOCs with just like people getting drunk at brunch with like mimosas? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 56:22
Like, cuz they always like fall into bushes.
Unknown Speaker 56:27
I saw this one with this one girl though she Yeah, I think she like jumped into a bush or foam a bush. And then she tried to like climb up this some kind of like sign thing. And she fell and fucking busted her
Unknown Speaker 56:42
and
Unknown Speaker 56:45
that's gonna be
Unknown Speaker 56:49
I've been needing new teeth anyway
Unknown Speaker 56:54
Well, I think that this is going to wrap up today's episode. Thanks for listening fat heads and you know check out our social medias. Yes. Don't forget about stickers. We need Mike to do this. Yeah, Mike.
Unknown Speaker 57:09
My mike come back. Maybe I can clip it in. Or maybe
Unknown Speaker 57:15
I'm Mike. Check out media. Saul nervous laughter podcast across the board.
Unknown Speaker 57:22
On Twitter. Yes. Don't forget about the stickers they're free
Unknown Speaker 57:28
they're very free. I have a lot you can have multiple stick them to lots of things please. Also for schools all right. Party on fat heads party