The ladies open with a quick post-break catch up and read a listener email and review! Jamie gets into the horror that is mummy brown. Alyssa digs into the modern horrors of the beauty industry
The ladies open with a quick post-break catch up and read a listener email and review! Jamie gets into the horror that is mummy brown. Alyssa digs into the modern horrors of the beauty industry
Write us some of your cringe stories at [nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com](mailto:nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com)
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Unknown Speaker 0:01
So Jamie, I had something funny happen while we were on our break. Yeah, I was driving and in Texas in the fall slash winter. For our listeners that don't live here, sometimes it'll just be like, warm, borderline warm someday. So it's not really like sweater weather. So I, it was kind of one of those days where it wasn't cold, but I don't know it was kind of in between. So I was driving with the window down, says a little warm. And I was leaving Michaels and I had gotten a good deal on stuff. And so I was thinking about that, and I was happy about that. Like, man I'm good. killed those coupons. And so I'm driving and keep in mind, I'm on like, a main stretch in a shopping center. So no one I shouldn't be stopping like, I'm just supposed to be driving. Well, this lady goes to just turn in front of me and I definitely had the right away, it was on her. And it scared the shit out of me because it just like snapped me out of my coupon daydreams.
Unknown Speaker 1:24
And I was like, you fucking Idiot!! And I forgot my window down.
Unknown Speaker 1:31
She had her window down to she goes "you're the fucking idiot!!"
Unknown Speaker 2:02
And I just started laughing because of how absurd it was
Unknown Speaker 2:06
the best way to respond
Unknown Speaker 2:10
that's awesome.
Unknown Speaker 2:15
random lady held each other fucking idiots.
Unknown Speaker 2:19
Yeah, I always um,
Unknown Speaker 2:22
I don't know. I'm scared of confrontation.
Always whisper that soft.
Unknown Speaker 2:28
It just came out. I couldn't control it. And then when I realized my windows down, that's when she was already calling me a fucking idiot.
Unknown Speaker 2:38
Good times. I remember one time I was younger, and I guess I stupidly kind of parked kind of close to this lady and
I got in the car. And then she got out. Just like making sure I could see and she like walked around her whole side of her car to make sure that like I didn't hit it or anything. And so then I just did the same thing.
Unknown Speaker 3:02
Like the shes being a bitch. I'm gonna be a bitch. Oh, it's awesome. Um, but yeah, this is nervous laughter podcast. Welcome everyone. I'm Alyssa. I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah, I'm Jamie. I'm also a fucking idiot.
Unknown Speaker 3:20
Um, and yeah, we were coming back from a little little holiday break. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 3:28
I didn't really do too much. I did some some shooting down in Mississippi on Christmas hail. Yeah, real Mississippi Christmas. And then there is a one thing that a Brandon's dad said that I want to tell you about. So first it was funny because this was the first year he bought all this like food and stuff for Christmas as opposed to his stepmom. And so
Unknown Speaker 3:55
the kind of veggie tray I think there's only like eight people but it was like a laughably large veggie tray
Unknown Speaker 4:03
so that was that was kind of funny first off and then um
Unknown Speaker 4:09
to lead into this his dad just says some of the weirdest random shit sometimes. It's everyone's just kind of standing around little chat and then just like really loudly he like points at the broccoli and cauliflower. He goes those two are the most powerful vegetables
Unknown Speaker 4:27
everyone's quiet and I said why? And then like, it was so quiet and then I was like, Okay, I'm going to
Unknown Speaker 4:34
find out what he meant. No, and I don't think anyone else said either because
Unknown Speaker 4:40
I wouldn't know because it's one of those things where it's like he just says weird fucking shit all the time. People didn't face and then the other half it was just like I don't want even gonna ask him to explain what the fuck he means. Those who are the most powerful
Unknown Speaker 4:59
Oh,
Unknown Speaker 5:00
Uh, I want to know, I wonder if it was like, if they're the most powerful super foods or if they make you the 40s Yeah, that's what I was wondering too, like the most healthy Brandon said that he probably just meant those are his favorite.
Unknown Speaker 5:18
Fair. That could be the way he says that.
Unknown Speaker 5:22
But I mean, I know I say, you know, weird shit a lot.
Unknown Speaker 5:27
Like we were at Waffle House before we left with his mom and stepdad. And
Unknown Speaker 5:34
she brought two waters, I asked for a water. His stuff that didn't, but he was sitting across me, she placed it like in the middle, and then he like kind of took a sip out of it and was like, Oh crap, what's my water? And then I was like, I waited for like five minutes, and I was just so thirsty. I was like, um, are you gonna? Are you gonna drink that? Can I like have that? Or like, I asked it in the weirdest fucking way. And everyone just like what and Brandon was like, that was weird way to ask it. Like, I I thought too long about it before I asked the question. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 6:08
How was your holiday? Alyssa? Pretty good. We just hung out here.
Unknown Speaker 6:16
didn't really do anything. We're doing a family Christmas with cheese family next week. So I'm sure Merry Christmas. Yeah, sure. I'll do some weird shit. For my mother in law, like I always do. So. I'll be back to report that to you soon.
Unknown Speaker 6:39
Um, and of course, it wouldn't be a complete holiday season without a little Grinch action. Oh my gosh. Yes. Alyssa invited me to a crochet class at Michaels. We thought it would be a final kind of experience. Mainly probably.
Unknown Speaker 6:58
Because, I mean, it wasn't not fun, but
Unknown Speaker 7:03
it went a lot different than I would expect a Michaels craft crafting class to go. Me too. Me too. What did you think it was gonna be like? Well, I thought we were going to learn how to do basic crochet things. Because the things that were going to make a granny square but it said you will learn how to do the slip knot and you know those little things building up to it. So I just thought it was gonna be a nice pleasant thing. You know, it's crochet, how can you like, how can you make that stressful? Well,
Unknown Speaker 7:38
it was stressful. Well, a bitch named Debbie made it stressful. We're calling her crochet Debbie.
Unknown Speaker 7:45
She
Unknown Speaker 7:48
was the meanest teacher I've maybe ever. Yeah, yeah. So
Unknown Speaker 7:57
it kind of starts out like, of course, she wasn't like, you know, initially a bitch. Yes. This lady that is, I guess comes to a lot of her classes. And then these three like younger girls, twins. Yeah, twins. Um, and Debbie was just like, so we had to measure out some string at first and she kept like, she like, Okay, you need three, four foot strings or whatever. And then she kept being like, Oh, you can use your arm. Because if you stretch it out, like that will be like three feet or whatever. And then she was like, God built that into us. And I don't know how many fucking times she's talked about that and said, God built that into us. And I kind of want to be like, there's children here. Don't fucking say that.
Unknown Speaker 8:49
Like, she felt like she was doing something good. Sorry. What do you say? pushing her beliefs?
Unknown Speaker 8:56
Yeah, she
Unknown Speaker 8:59
is not all. That's not all.
Unknown Speaker 9:02
She was showing us.
Unknown Speaker 9:04
And I'm gonna say showing us a quotation marks how to do a slip knot. And like, you know, you have to hold your
Unknown Speaker 9:13
yarn in a certain hand, you hold your crochet hook and the other and like you hold them at certain points. And there's a way you wrap the yarn in your hand so that it kind of glides, and you can just pull it. She was showing us, showing us like the fastest I've ever seen anyone do anything? Yeah, like I needed it to be maybe 25% of the speed that she was doing. Yeah, I could tell that she didn't even think about how she was going to show us she was like, oh, everyone's just gonna know how to crochet and we'll be good to go. This beginner crochet class that people that have never done it. They're just gonna intuitively know. And then she'd come and show us but then it would be in a way where her hand was like completely in the way so like Alyssa tried to kind of get behind her to come
Unknown Speaker 10:00
unless you knew, it was just awful, and she kept like,
Unknown Speaker 10:05
she was getting very frustrated, and it was very obvious. And very uncomfortable. Yeah, she was because she had to keep showing me and Alyssa, like,
Unknown Speaker 10:16
I don't know, the added stress of that lady being a bitch just like made my brain break. Like, I can't listen to instructions right now. And she's going to be even madder at me. Like, I'm an adult. Oh, my feeling like this.
Unknown Speaker 10:33
And it was made worse because the tween girls that were there. They had a, they already knew how to crochet. And they had their own way to do it. And she just kept saying, like, oh, well, um, I can't help you guys, because you're doing it this other like weird way that I just don't know how to do and I just can't teach you guys how to learn my way. Go learn my way. Yeah, so she like made them. She's like, okay, just start over and just do the chain the way I do it. I'm like, Bitch, if you knew what you were doing, I feel like you'd be able to like, just and kind of help them better back way. And at the end of the class, the only person to like, complete a square was the girl one of the twin girls. And she didn't even get really much help from the lady. She just did her own thing. And she was like, well, as long as you get the end result, it doesn't matter how you do it. And I'm like, You're the fucking teacher. This I think all those girls were sisters. I'm like, their parents just basically threw $120 on the down the toilet. Yeah. I mean, it was a $40 class for to be yelled at. Yeah, I just got on YouTube when I got home and found a nice British lady. And she helped me more than Debbie like, yeah, Debbie was saying shit. Like
Unknown Speaker 11:53
I was trying to hold this thing. And you know, it's awkward. If you've never done something like that before that kind of requires coordination. She was like, Okay, you need to hold it right here. Can you do that?
Unknown Speaker 12:10
Yes, your instruction is so awful. I didn't know that I needed to. I think I don't know if it was you or another girl. But she was like, Can you do that? Yeah, you can do that. And I was like, Oh my god. You fucking guns. Dude. She was me. Like, she kept telling us that we needed to make the certain stitch looser. But like she wasn't telling us how to achieve that. Which was what I needed to be able to do that. Because I've never I need instruction. Yeah. Yeah. Are you gonna say the thing that you said?
Unknown Speaker 12:47
Oh,
Unknown Speaker 12:49
well, I'll get to that in a second. But she was telling us to do this stitch and like, nobody could do it. And she got mad and was like, Why aren't y'all making these looser? Like, what am I doing wrong? Like, why can y'all not do this? I felt petrified in that moment. Like I froze. And I was like, oh my god, I haven't felt like this since like, I lived with my parents. She was like, yeah, she was being fucking mean. And then at one point, she basically asked me like, why I couldn't. Or she was asking me why I was doing something a certain way. Fucking stupid. Yeah. And I was like, I've never done this before. Like, I don't know what kind of answer you want. I mean, it was so hard for me not to laugh when you
Unknown Speaker 13:33
and she was like, being a bitch to those other tween girls. And
Unknown Speaker 13:39
I can't remember what she said. But I just started laughing because I was like, This is fucking like Posterous and it was and then she just kind of like started laughing a little crazy, too. Because I guess maybe she thought that like I liked something. She was saying to me like no money.
Unknown Speaker 13:56
Oh, yeah, I'm proud of you like to the girl and just kind of laughing crazy. And I'm like, Oh my God. Is this real?
Unknown Speaker 14:03
She told me Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna say yeah, she started like, kind of being nice towards the end. But yeah, Jamie was like she probably wants a good review with Michaels was not emailed me but I will not be leaving a good review. Yeah, it was like that fake nice, let dislike this makes you cringe really hard. And she kept like, showing off her own like little art projects do. She was like, this is a scarf. I crocheted. And then like, This is a painting that I'm starting. See. You can see all these little strawberries that I'm laying out and I'm like,
Unknown Speaker 14:35
okay, like, what do you want me to say? Like you're the best artists I've met. Like in 10 years. She was alternating between doing that and then like helping us and I didn't hear this happened but she just straight up told you that you were frustrating her? Yeah. I don't know if she was aimed towards me or just the class in general. But she was trying to help me and then she was like, Yeah, I'm getting really frustrated. And that was just like
Unknown Speaker 15:01
Why did you tell me that?
Unknown Speaker 15:05
Ah, she's, she's something I recorded some audio to while we were in there. So if if there's any good snippets in there, I'll put it put it in here. Oh yeah, I can't wait
Unknown Speaker 15:31
to
Unknown Speaker 15:33
see
Unknown Speaker 15:39
this is the chain and then when you go back to single right
Unknown Speaker 15:44
the first time you go back on your training, okay
Unknown Speaker 15:51
now hopefully go through the first one secure needle from the front to the back. ended up sticking front to the back
Unknown Speaker 16:02
now now cool to
Unknown Speaker 16:12
watch this
Unknown Speaker 16:14
so you can
Unknown Speaker 16:18
just stick it through the first one
Unknown Speaker 16:21
and then you're gonna
Unknown Speaker 16:27
run
Unknown Speaker 16:31
Okay, the next one to get in.
Unknown Speaker 16:35
We'll let them
Unknown Speaker 16:40
stick it in. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 16:44
Keep it real easy
Unknown Speaker 16:51
just got the wrong
Unknown Speaker 16:57
you just got to make
Unknown Speaker 17:05
it worse. Don't make it worse. You got I think
Unknown Speaker 17:27
yeah, I can I can start a new change.
Unknown Speaker 17:31
And then when you get to the other end
Unknown Speaker 17:40
okay, so then when you get to the end, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 17:45
You can't hold it through like, it's just some easy
Unknown Speaker 17:53
way to do it
Unknown Speaker 18:04
do your chain, do your single crochet. It's okay. You gotta put it inside. Insert into the second blue. Second blue.
Unknown Speaker 18:16
Okay, first of all, you've got to get control. Okay. Okay. Okay, so you've got
Unknown Speaker 18:24
cylinder
Unknown Speaker 18:28
control
Unknown Speaker 18:36
so you just slide O'Neill edges there, into the second hole into the signup loop from the front to the back.
Unknown Speaker 18:45
Oh, great to know. Front to back right back. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 18:51
Yeah, you can't you'll never be able to get anything done with us loops.
Unknown Speaker 18:56
Too tight. Well, these are loose, but you're you're pulling on it so far. I guess I'm trying to control it like you said to do but control is not tight. Control is is actually
Unknown Speaker 19:10
very loose. I mean, I'm gonna get an extra list. Yeah, man, fucking Debbie. She's trying to like sell us hard on shit too. But
Unknown Speaker 19:21
ya
Unknown Speaker 19:23
know, I was talking shit. And part of me was like, Elena. I don't care if she hears
Unknown Speaker 19:30
that lady in the car.
Unknown Speaker 19:35
Yeah, I wonder for kids still talk to her. Just kind of in. Don't think she heard me. She would have said something. But
Unknown Speaker 19:45
yeah, it was just like, I kept laughing at what you were saying. And you're like, I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. I'm like, No, I love it. I just don't wanna get in trouble.
Unknown Speaker 19:54
The teachers gonna hear us Alyssa It was nuts because I feel like like I've thought about
Unknown Speaker 20:00
aren't teaching a class like that for cross stitch? was the reason that I haven't is because I'm like, Oh, what if I get like mildly frustrated and the person can tell? But Debbie was like, 10,000 times worse. ever be. Yeah, she was 10,000 leagues under the sea. That shit, bitches.
Unknown Speaker 20:22
Yeah. So yeah, he's definitely teach out that would be really good. Yeah, Debbie. Yeah. I feel like if it's a low stress link, because I've had to teach people stuff at work. And I mean, I definitely never acted like Debbie. But
Unknown Speaker 20:37
I'd be like,
Unknown Speaker 20:39
I would just be like, Look, if I was like, if I come off, I was frustrated or something, you know, it's not, it's not you or anything. I'm just, I'm trying to help you with a problem. And if I bump into a problem trying to help you, then I just get kind of nervous and stuff. So I yeah, I tried to start doing like, yeah. But like, why are you not doing it like this? Oh, yeah. Another thing that I don't know if you noticed her saying it, but I think she said it a couple times. She was like, Well, I don't know how to explain it. But your hands just kind of like flow.
Unknown Speaker 21:12
And just know what to do. God gave them to you. Yeah, God programmed your hands knowing how to crochet. Yeah, so just figure that out, measuring and crocheting the two things. God bless you with?
Unknown Speaker 21:25
That, so yeah, don't take it Michael's class with Debbie.
Unknown Speaker 21:30
I may take another class in the future. Definitely not with Debbie. Yeah, if we take another one, we'll report back but they're kind of I feel like they're kind of expensive, like some of them that I was looking at. Were like, $90.
Unknown Speaker 21:47
And if they're anything like how they held this one was I don't think it'll be worth some money. But maybe not. Everyone's like Debbie. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, it was kind of crazy. Cuz I remember at one point, I was like, well, whatever. It's a free class. And I was like, wait, I paid
Unknown Speaker 22:03
fucking Oh, hi, Olive. We have a girl, little girl here. It's a cat. Her name is olive.
Unknown Speaker 22:12
Olive. I'm going to crochet you a frilly little collar. So you'll look like a little princess? And I'll say fuck Debbie. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 22:23
So yeah, that was our crochet adventure.
Unknown Speaker 22:28
Oh, and she also kind of followed everyone in the back of the store had a $5 coupon that you could only use that day. And they were closing.
Unknown Speaker 22:37
And so we went back to the back to get some crochet stuff. And so did the twin girls. And then like, we were back there for a minute. And then Debbie just like pops up. And she's like, oh, yeah, there's crochet and there's also like this and this. I'm just like, tippy toes go away. Yeah. Yeah, part of me was like, maybe she's seeing if we're talking shit about
Unknown Speaker 23:00
which we wanted to like, there was a point where she left the room. And it's funny because we talked after and both of us were like, oh, yeah, I want to start talking shit about her. But. But that lady seems like he's friends with the one lady. There wasn't a tween have taken several of her classes and they knew each other and stuff. But yeah, if she wouldn't have been there, I would have been like talking shit with those tweens. Yeah. Tell them like, Hey, I know. You're young. And she is being a bitch. And this was not how people should treat each other. Just FYI.
Unknown Speaker 23:33
But they seem to. They seemed they didn't seem
Unknown Speaker 23:37
like this is just a bitch. I think that generation kind of doesn't give a fuck, which is it? That'll tie on to something I'm going to talk about later. Yes. Awesome. Yeah. tweens.
Unknown Speaker 23:52
So that's a little sumup of our little holiday break. Fat heads. We hope you guys all had a fantastic little break. Yes. But the highlight of our break was a review that we got
Unknown Speaker 24:12
three views from Sam. Longtime fat head. Yes. Very valued fat head. Thank you, Sam for listening fattest of all the fat heads. Yes, giant head.
Unknown Speaker 24:26
Which I actually have Jamie and I were talking about me finding a hat earlier.
Unknown Speaker 24:32
And one thing I forgot to tell you I was scrolling the other day, and I got an ad for let me see if I can find the name because the name was what was insulting. It was basically a company that sells hats for large headed people.
Unknown Speaker 24:52
My algorithm knew Oh, well it doesn't matter. Back to Sam.
Unknown Speaker 24:58
Sam left us and I
Unknown Speaker 25:00
tunes review.
Unknown Speaker 25:02
Give us five stars. Thank you. Thank you titled it hilarious show. I look forward to the show every week and I love every minute of it. Keep it going. Yay. We will with your love and support. Yes, in your meme power. Yes, Sam is one of those people that's a master Mamer
Unknown Speaker 25:25
but he sends you something, you know, it's gonna be good. Sounds a little dirty. He's a madman streamer.
Unknown Speaker 25:33
Well, speaking of dirty, we got an email from a listener that we don't know.
Unknown Speaker 25:42
Like a new level of awesome for us. It's very exciting. But we thought that just people we know listen to the show. So a lot of time being excited about me too. It was one of the first things that I read when I woke up this morning and I was like, Oh my God.
Unknown Speaker 26:00
She has a little question for us, Jamie and then also listeners, so I'm gonna read her email.
Unknown Speaker 26:08
Hi, Jamie and Alyssa. Thank you for hosting your show. Your wild commentary and banter helps me get through the day.
Unknown Speaker 26:16
Thank you, thank you. She says sure I'll bite with a rather cringe story to share.
Unknown Speaker 26:24
So I once met a guy who with my chin I share that's it
Unknown Speaker 26:34
who was much hesitation revealed to me that he would appreciate having a woman refer to his penis was certain playful term
Unknown Speaker 26:45
curiously, I replied That's interesting. monocle floats down
Unknown Speaker 26:54
tell me what
Unknown Speaker 26:57
Tell me about your proposition.
Unknown Speaker 27:00
Then I asked what names he preferred. He said it was too embarrassing to even say them which that's a great sign.
Unknown Speaker 27:09
But he still wanted my honest opinion. So he wrote the following list for me I will list which lovely I don't know why I need this detail but I would like to know if he wrote this on like a post it note or napkin or what kind of penny you wrote it down and split it like Burger King. I want to know more about that for some reason. So on the list under sometimes he likes he has it sorted by frequency. Yep, sometimes and but especially.
Unknown Speaker 27:47
But like beauty tea or beauty beauty.
Unknown Speaker 27:51
So sometimes he likes weenie
Unknown Speaker 27:57
kini
Unknown Speaker 28:01
combined combine those a weenie penis
Unknown Speaker 28:05
and wiener. Okay, we're pretty basic. Yeah. Um, but under the butt especially. We we NPP
Unknown Speaker 28:16
which, that is gross. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 28:21
It's like, I'm a five year old. Yeah. Oh, and she put a face that's kind of like
Unknown Speaker 28:30
it's that face where the mouth is a line. And like one of the eyebrows is like, tilted. So you're like, okay, like I can't do? Yeah, I can't see it. I can't do one eyebrow up. This skeptical? Emoji. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 28:48
The email says he said he knows that it's likely a turn off for most women no shit.
Unknown Speaker 28:56
And being as such, he mostly represses it in any potential relationship. However, he said that if a partner could somehow enter his body and psyche, then she would understand how ecstatic it feels and may genuinely want to give him that experience.
Unknown Speaker 29:20
So he could have just said, if they could empathize
Unknown Speaker 29:27
more, he's like a free spirit, like, piney, piney vibes with the universe. That's how I'm picturing him. Okay, I wasn't sure if he was kind of starting to get a little whorish but oh, like if you could just be inside of me and just true. Very true.
Unknown Speaker 29:47
He said he likes to hear those words and all sorts of tones. Mm hmm. Which How the fuck do you say peeny in a serious? I can't even say it without laughing Oh my god. Could you imagine a doctor's office?
Unknown Speaker 30:00
Like, you have piney cancer
Unknown Speaker 30:04
What's your weenie? peeny
Unknown Speaker 30:10
so Mr. Smith I hate to tell you the results came back you have people
Unknown Speaker 30:16
I hate to be the one to break that news
Unknown Speaker 30:25
whether casually playfully centrally excetera Oh, I'm distorting my body
Unknown Speaker 30:34
leisurely.
Unknown Speaker 30:37
Would you like a woman to say them during sex? He admitted Yes, though not all the time. And then she writes Can you even imagine calling his pee pee a wee wee while giving him a blow job or in whatever sexual position? Like no, I cannot imagine trying to make a joke with one of those words because it just feels disgusting. Dude, pee pee and Wally. Fuck Noreen on snapper is the least sexual thing I've ever heard in my life.
Unknown Speaker 31:12
Moreover, he insists he does not have a mommy fetish. I mean, he's a lawyer. Yeah. And full disclosure. I have actually seen his we slash PP
Unknown Speaker 31:28
which is about five inches erect. So it's not like he has a little boy teeny, weeny, wee wee.
Unknown Speaker 31:37
Or TV.
Unknown Speaker 31:42
She put a winky face. Thank you for those combination.
Unknown Speaker 31:47
I gotta read them again. Teeny Weeny wee wee.
Unknown Speaker 31:52
teeny, teeny PT.
Unknown Speaker 31:56
That one's my favorite. Oh poco PP. TV Feanor PB.
Unknown Speaker 32:04
Anyhow, do you think you or other women would be open to fulfilling a guy partner's most sincere winner world winner word fantasy? I like when your World
Unknown Speaker 32:17
World Fantasy? Or is this too? cringy thanks for your consideration. And please keep doing what you're doing. Yes, no.
Unknown Speaker 32:27
Not Not this. Not this. Like I've heard of people giving nicknames and stuff like that's fine. But those are two those crossed the line. Those specific terms crossed the line. We gotta pull up the list again because they're all blending together my brain I'm weenie peeny Okay, wiener. That's fairly normal. Yeah, that's, that's yeah, that was the winner. So I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 32:54
I don't know if I would use winners like sexually though. You know? Yeah. Like, hey, luck in your wiener. No.
Unknown Speaker 33:02
Wink in your wink.
Unknown Speaker 33:07
Wink in your way. And that's what does that like an alliteration or whatever? Wink and wink and Oui oui.
Unknown Speaker 33:14
Oui. I just don't get how you could seriously say those words in the moment. Like, your peeny is so great and powerful. Shove it in me. Shove peeny in my VA genie
Unknown Speaker 33:35
and make a wish.
Unknown Speaker 33:40
Ah, you just pump three times.
Unknown Speaker 33:44
Um, yeah, no, see.
Unknown Speaker 33:47
If it was deaf, I think the terms, terms and conditions apply. Like, those specific words feel to child like for me to feel comfortable with? Yeah. That specifically for me is a no but if there's other reasonable adults, maybe? Yeah, yes, sure. Like, I remember a very, very long time ago, I dated the sky. And as a joke. This is not serious. But as because like I heard about people naming their boyfriends penises up for like the first time. So as a joke. I had named his princess peach.
Unknown Speaker 34:29
I don't know. You know, just save Princess Peach from the castle. I just I just thought it was funny and stupid. And I'm a comedic genius. So there we go. Princess Peach. You heard it here first. Yeah. Princess pee pee pee. Pee Pee Wee wee. Wee bee. Maybe mommy.
Unknown Speaker 34:53
Oui, oui. Yeah. So not the specific words.
Unknown Speaker 34:59
If it
Unknown Speaker 35:00
was I'm trying to imagine like if Brandon came to me and asked me, like, I have a serious thing.
Unknown Speaker 35:08
But I'd be like, only because we've been dating for like 10 years and married for
Unknown Speaker 35:15
Yeah, I feel like if it's your husband or long term partner, then that's different but just a random ass dude. I
Unknown Speaker 35:28
don't think I would be willing to do that. Yeah, because I felt like I would end up offending them because there's no way I'm gonna say peeny without
Unknown Speaker 35:40
maybe he wants to, you know, maybe did what it said in various tones. Ah, so that just makes me cringe. I don't like that. I do. I'm gonna I may add piney to my list with Peter.
Unknown Speaker 35:55
piney weenie, weeny, tiny polka dot bikini.
Unknown Speaker 35:59
Thank you. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 36:02
We really love that email and feel free to send us more of your dating stories or anyone really? Yeah, anything. Really? That was that was a perfect email. Yeah, so and anyone else listening? Yes, feel free to write us a email. We will definitely read it. More than likely put it on the show unless it crosses some boundaries.
Unknown Speaker 36:29
Yeah, but we're good with peonies and Finis and we ways so that one was perfect.
Unknown Speaker 36:35
Um, so I have a couple little things here
Unknown Speaker 36:43
that I found over Christmas break me
Unknown Speaker 36:49
so one of them is about tweens. Feel like this is the worst fucking segue ever.
Unknown Speaker 36:56
My brains been dumbed down motherboard we
Unknown Speaker 37:00
do mine first.
Unknown Speaker 37:05
So this was a topic that I just kind of read a little bit about over break
Unknown Speaker 37:11
it's not related to like anything we've talked about I don't think
Unknown Speaker 37:16
but it's about mummy Brown. Have you heard about mommy brown before? Sounds like
Unknown Speaker 37:29
brain is just in the weird
Unknown Speaker 37:37
Princess peachy.
Unknown Speaker 37:41
So
Unknown Speaker 37:43
is this m mu m m y like a mummy? Yes. Like a mummified Okay. Mommy Brown. Okay, so I promise has nothing to do with PP poopoo do do
Unknown Speaker 37:57
my brains just like is this a mummy full of Poopoo? Like what? They actually mummified the turrets
Unknown Speaker 38:05
um, so just to define what mummy Brown is I took kind of the description from Harvard Art Museum's dot org. Me indicated not what I'm trying to make it so
Unknown Speaker 38:20
we're transitioning now. Get on board.
Unknown Speaker 38:27
So mommy Brown, also known as Egyptian brown or coot.
Unknown Speaker 38:34
Can put mortem
Unknown Speaker 38:37
mortem.
Unknown Speaker 38:39
Literally deadhead and Medieval Latin was a rich pigment varying in Hue from burns to raw umber made primarily from white pitch, which I looked up sounds like some kind of a pine and water mixture.
Unknown Speaker 38:54
Mirror, which is a type of resin and ground up Ancient Egyptians and their pets. Whoa, yeah. So is this a thing from the Victorian era? Because I've heard like Victorians, like eight mummy pieces and did weird shit like that. Yeah, so it sounds like it spanned from like the 16th and 19th centuries, and was more popular in like the 18th century.
Unknown Speaker 39:22
But I did read a tie. I didn't like see in depth, but it was around the time but yeah, people were like, oh, mummies are like the new girl and like,
Unknown Speaker 39:32
consuming mummy and daddy stuff fucking weird. People were like, Let's just make it a pain. So you would have a painting made out of dead bodies? Yes.
Unknown Speaker 39:45
Interesting. So, some descriptions of the paint were found from the 12th starting like in the 12th century, but it started to gain more interest in the 16th century when mummy trade to Europe was booming. So like how you were
Unknown Speaker 40:00
kind of talking you know people are
Unknown Speaker 40:02
using it medicinally arm looks fucking
Unknown Speaker 40:06
I want to roll that up and smoke it
Unknown Speaker 40:10
so some folks started digging up mummies any links, illegally smuggling them back to Europe for a nice profit. A lot of the paint firms hopped onto the mummy bandwagon, and shops across Europe began mass producing the paint in the 18th century.
Unknown Speaker 40:28
So this was like the height of mummy Brown and one vendor. complimented Compendium Compendium
Unknown Speaker 40:38
ACTA Yeah, back Compendium from 1797 was quoted saying the quote flashiest parts unquote were allegedly quote providing the finest colors unquote. So the flesh year the more
Unknown Speaker 40:55
you know,
Unknown Speaker 40:57
and I feel like I can picture what color this is on. I don't fucking like it. Yeah, but people loved it. A part of that I kind of read about one part. It sounds like it was, I mean, not like translucent, but it sounded like it was a little
Unknown Speaker 41:12
a little bit. You know, it wasn't as thick. So you're gonna see through it a little, a little translucent.
Unknown Speaker 41:19
Um, some artists are aware of the creation process and consider it to be part of the paints and lore. But, but some are totally unaware. For instance, oh, yeah, so you get ghosts
Unknown Speaker 41:36
Vogon paint with dead bodies.
Unknown Speaker 41:41
So the painter Edward Burne Jones, which I forgot to look up to see if I am familiar with any of his work, but he painted with a dead body so it doesn't matter. But he didn't know. So he didn't realize the literal meaning of the name mummy brown until he was informed by his fellow artists friend. He was very clearly upset about it, and gave it a burial in his garden.
Unknown Speaker 42:07
Nice, I feel like I would react the same way I just be really upset.
Unknown Speaker 42:14
His wife summarized the situation as
Unknown Speaker 42:17
and for some reason, I just want to give her like a shitty southern accent and would scouted in this context. That means scoring freely rejected. The idea of the pigment having anything to do with a mummy said,
Unknown Speaker 42:32
said the name must be only borrowed to describe it.
Unknown Speaker 42:37
I'm so sorry, only to describe a particular shade of brown. But when assured that it was actually compounded of real Emami, he left us I once hastened to the studio, and returning with the owner tube he had insisted on giving it a decent burial there and then, so a hole was born into the green grass out of feet, and we all watched it put safely in in the spot was marked by one of the girls playing plant in a daisy above it.
Unknown Speaker 43:13
His nephew claimed he participated in this quote, strange funeral where, quote, I'm gonna give him the same accent I guess. He descended in broad daylight with a tube of mummy Brown in his hand, saying that he had discovered it was made of dead pharaohs and we must bury it accordingly.
Unknown Speaker 43:37
So we all went out and helped. Um,
Unknown Speaker 43:42
and when the 1994 heavy metal band disturbed found out they said, Are you mummified? Brah
Unknown Speaker 43:50
that was just a joke I added in there
Unknown Speaker 43:55
amazing the help round it out.
Unknown Speaker 43:58
Yeah, so what do you think so far? What do you think about this little um Well here we got Victorian people are just so fucking weird.
Unknown Speaker 44:09
There's a couple of things about that time period that I want to talk about on the podcast in the future
Unknown Speaker 44:17
I guess I'm not really surprised because yeah, mommies were the new it girl. Very weird. Especially when even like when came a butt
Unknown Speaker 44:34
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 44:36
very disturbed
Unknown Speaker 44:44
so worried about the corpse paint spread amongst art.
Unknown Speaker 44:49
It was kind of a secret at first or just not really advertised. I think it was a secret. I think it just wasn't like super heavily advertised. Like a lot.
Unknown Speaker 44:59
There was
Unknown Speaker 45:00
Dammit I didn't write it down but there was like a little ad that that talked about it I think or someone I quoted it from an ad but it was just like, Yeah, you know, we use the mummies. Come on down here,
Unknown Speaker 45:11
copes fine to get your mum and brown.
Unknown Speaker 45:15
So as it became more known amongst artists and non artists alike,
Unknown Speaker 45:23
you know, it became
Unknown Speaker 45:25
less popular because of that. And it became more difficult to get mummies in general because it was an illegal thing. And also, the supply of them was dwindling, because, you know, you only have so many mommies so weird considering all those factors the paint lost traction and stopped being produced the company Roberson and CO, discontinued it in Alyssa, do you want to guess what year? I'm really bad when it comes to which centuries? Or which, but,
Unknown Speaker 45:58
um, I'm just gonna guess like 1924 1964?
Unknown Speaker 46:07
Yes, yeah, it was continued. And yeah, until the 20th century. Like, why halfway through? Yeah. I was shocked when I found that out to like, What the fuck, that's recent. People in the 60s were fucked up. I mean, they were like, black people can't drink from the same water fountain is Yeah, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. But whoa, I still kind of am. Yeah, no, it is just kind of shocking. It'd be like, Oh my god, that was really not long ago.
Unknown Speaker 46:41
But yeah, it was funny because I actually told Brandon I was like, I wouldn't have expect this to stop like in the 1920s. Like he said 30s But I was like, No, I was too late. Yeah, I know. It's fucking bonkers.
Unknown Speaker 46:54
We we people
Unknown Speaker 46:57
ever heard it.
Unknown Speaker 46:59
I'm the managing director of that company so that they ran out of mummies and quote, we might have a few odd limbs laying around here somewhere.
Unknown Speaker 47:10
But not enough to make more pain. Oh, oh, man. Now I want to know how many bodies that took to.
Unknown Speaker 47:19
Yeah, it said, Oh, fuck. I think I read about that one part. I think it was like quite a, I think it would actually make quite a bit. But whenever I was reading and the guy was like, we have not enough to make some. I was like, maybe that's not right, because it sounds like
Unknown Speaker 47:36
an arm and a leg would be plenty, but
Unknown Speaker 47:40
it costs them an arm and a leg to make I guess.
Unknown Speaker 47:43
You
Unknown Speaker 47:45
another representative of the company said there's no more mummy brown around the shocking statement that mummy brown paint has was made until 1964 and mummy parts within the shop were seen up until the 1980s demonstrates the extent of the paints use and furthers the argument that the discussion of ethics surrounding Egyptian mummified remains is significantly recent.
Unknown Speaker 48:10
I'm just going to say hot take the official nervous laughter Podcast Take is That's fucked up. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 48:20
I would never think about using somebody's dead body to mass produce paint. No.
Unknown Speaker 48:28
Pretty
Unknown Speaker 48:30
it just makes my stomach feel really gross. This this really fucked up especially like corpses from an entirely different country of people that you don't know. Like if it was like your mom and she like was like she was I want you to do it. I want you to do a painting with my blood. Sure, whatever. But that's
Unknown Speaker 48:49
so it's really fucked up and upset. That is crazy.
Unknown Speaker 48:56
And the last thing I have is an article from St. Paul globe. That was written January or released January 24 1904.
Unknown Speaker 49:09
It's a article called Ground mummys make good paint. Business as polarizing defunct, Egyptians may cease for lack of supply.
Unknown Speaker 49:19
And it's short so I'll just read through it.
Unknown Speaker 49:23
Mummy powdered Well, I felt like after read it like doo doo doo doo doo doo.
Unknown Speaker 49:30
Mummy powered mummy makes one of the best and most popular colors used by August. Every large dealer an oil paints sounds powered powdered mummy. And almost every manufacturer of pigments has a mummy department. That's crazy. That is fucking weird. Okay, in a space a space laden atmosphere amid surroundings picturesque and gruesome young men and women grind up the dried bodies of Egyptian princesses and priest.
Unknown Speaker 49:59
Me
Unknown Speaker 50:00
Is the powder with puppy oil and barrel it for market little tubes of 10
Unknown Speaker 50:09
they kind of messed up on it was good this business of making paints that are mummies is a long standing, but it is now threatened with destruction for this supply of mummies is daily growing scarcer, while the demand for them and Chris says,
Unknown Speaker 50:27
oh, sorry, I don't know why.
Unknown Speaker 50:32
That's okay. It's almost over, I can get through it. If then, well, the benefits of the museums and people of the future, any mummies at all are to be preserved, the commerce in them must at once cease. That is a view which the government of Egypt is taking, and the governments of France and England are supporting her. In the London and Paris newspapers have appeared of late a number of articles urging the instinct prohibition all over the world of the mummy paint industry. Okay, that was hard. It's over. I'm gonna give you a round of applause. Thank you. I should have maybe rehearsed that instead of
Unknown Speaker 51:15
and my resources were from Harvard. museums.org aren't uk.org and Smith.
Unknown Speaker 51:23
Smithsonian
Unknown Speaker 51:26
Smithsonian God. Smithsonian Smithsonian. lab.org. Nope. Smithsonian mag thought.
Unknown Speaker 51:34
So if you want to read more, just you know, look up mommy brown on those sites and you'll find the articles. I'm definitely gonna watch that. Sorry. Yes. It's been like a while since I've like read through something since our break. And I'm just like, oh my god, I fucking like murdered. And I feel exhausted. Great.
Unknown Speaker 51:53
News hear
Unknown Speaker 51:56
me Brown is out.
Unknown Speaker 51:59
Did you see any paintings using it that you liked? You're like, oh, it's cool painting. Um, there was one I think it was called the Island of the Dead. Oh. And it was like,
Unknown Speaker 52:13
Oh, wait, nope, that wasn't done with mummy Brown. That was just something else I was reading about. Um, I don't think there was really in particular that I really cared for. There was one that everyone was talking about me Brown was Euston. And I will say I did admire the
Unknown Speaker 52:32
shading and shadows. Oh, how they did all the lighting and their painting. The corpses really gave it that extra? Yes, that that extra we
Unknown Speaker 52:43
have, um, but yeah, I just thought that was pretty cool piece of history.
Unknown Speaker 52:49
I can't really hear you. But it was mass produced. I mean, I can say somebody's doing some weird shit on their own like that. But the fact that was mass produced. Yeah. That's about it. Like I mean, it sounds like it was maybe a little bit of a thing in Egypt like before, but it doesn't sound like it was like a mass produced or any thing like that. And people
Unknown Speaker 53:12
they got the pain after people started using it for like, you know, medicinal purposes and stuff. Because there was like a mummy.
Unknown Speaker 53:20
thing people would get it was, I guess, like, you know, groundup mummy and liquid mix together. And after that kind of went out of style. People were like, Oh, that's a really nice color. We should make a pain out of it. So there you go. Mommy Brown. Yeah. Wow. That was something you Yeah, yeah. Glad you liked it.
Unknown Speaker 53:47
Well, oh,
Unknown Speaker 53:49
lighten the mood a little bit. Maybe.
Unknown Speaker 53:55
A little mummy pink? Yeah. What do you think?
Unknown Speaker 54:00
Um, so have you heard about?
Unknown Speaker 54:04
I keep saying tween because it's a funny word. And I asked George if he knew what a tween was. And he was like, What are you talking about? Wait, really? Yeah, I just thought that was like a word that people knew. But I guess a tween it's like in between a kid and a teenager. So I don't know maybe like nine to 11 or 12. Or I don't know, whatever. They have a vibe.
Unknown Speaker 54:27
vibe.
Unknown Speaker 54:30
So I had seen the some Tiktok
Unknown Speaker 54:35
people talking about this.
Unknown Speaker 54:37
And then I saw more people and more people and more people. And then I was scrolling Instagram and fucking NPR had an article
Unknown Speaker 54:48
called me Brown.
Unknown Speaker 54:51
tween pink.
Unknown Speaker 54:53
So NPR wrote a article for their business section. And this was on December.
Unknown Speaker 55:00
We're 21st
Unknown Speaker 55:03
is called tweens used to hate showers. Now they're taking over Sephora.
Unknown Speaker 55:10
So basically what started happening is
Unknown Speaker 55:15
younger girls
Unknown Speaker 55:18
don't really have a lot of stuff marketed to them. Like I feel like when, when we were younger, you know, Claire's was more of a thing that was like limited to and justice. Those were kind of stores for girls that weren't quite little, but they weren't teenagers. Can I just say when I was in Girl Scouts, we got to go to limited to to do like a fashion show. I mean, obviously, it was just like us. It's not like it was anything. That's whatever.
Unknown Speaker 55:49
We got to try. We each got to pick out an outfit. We didn't keep it but you know, yeah, pick out an outfit and then just walk around the store and then pose in the window. And that sounds fun. It was awesome. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember I was kind of too fat for their clothes.
Unknown Speaker 56:06
Go in there and get like perfume and like glitter. And did you ever have those Spice Girls suckers? No.
Unknown Speaker 56:16
I can't remember exactly what the thing was. But I think it was a sucker and then you opened it. And it came with either a sticker or like a temporary tattoo. So you could collect the different ones and now that sounds familiar, but there's maybe there was a lot of candies like came with
Unknown Speaker 56:36
Yeah, well, I guess shit. Like that used to be a bigger deal. But apparently now it's really not which is kind of surprising to me because it seems like there's products for everything and every possible scenario. So I'm surprised that you know there's not more stuff for this age range and age range of girls. Yeah, like there's even mommy Brown.
Unknown Speaker 57:00
Yeah, I mean, there's stuff like mommy brown but there's not anything for 10 year olds to do. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 57:08
So yeah, they've just it's become a thing that they're watching Tic TOCs and YouTube of Get Ready With Me and different halls you know, just watching influencers open up a bunch of skincare which that's really sad. Yeah, only depressing. Yeah, I remember like
Unknown Speaker 57:32
I don't think I had like a really any kind of skincare stuff when I was younger. I just had like, you know, my face wash. I tried to get like a good face wash. And then maybe every once in a while, it was like the alcohol or four strike.
Unknown Speaker 57:47
Yeah, I feel like we had that. And then facewash it was like cleaning clear. Neutrogena. And that was pretty much it. Yeah, like grocery store brand.
Unknown Speaker 57:59
But yeah, these chicks are getting like $1,000 worth of skincare. I mean, crazy. There's been Sephora and Ulta employees making videos talking about how these girls are just being a fucking nightmare and like making their job, their jobs harder.
Unknown Speaker 58:21
And they'll come in and they're specifically looking for this brand drunk elephant. That is expensive. And I've tried to sample of it, but I didn't end up buying it. Because I mean to get like a whole set of what you need.
Unknown Speaker 58:36
You know, hundreds of dollars for Yeah, maybe 500 bucks to get everything you need. Yeah, good skincare shed is so fucking so expensive. And, you know, you only need to use a certain amount and there's all these videos of younger girls just pumping a shot of it mounting it on their face. And
Unknown Speaker 58:59
yeah, so they're just mixing all these chemicals.
Unknown Speaker 59:04
I hope they don't get like chemical burn, and well that pizza is fucking happening. Ah, they're using it like too much. And they're using it too much or just like, in weird ways. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 59:20
And then some things like retinal, you have to take extra special care of your skin because it makes you really sensitive to the sun. So if their parents are just buying them the shit and letting them put it on, they may not know that because you know parents sometimes aren't very observant and they're like, oh, just want you to shut up. So shit from Sephora. And they might be like, Oh, it's just a skincare product like it's nothing but I won't hurt you. Yeah, yeah. But it's like not made for kids. But you know, kids are kind of going from being children to adults in a way they don't have that little light transition step cringe segue that was
Unknown Speaker 1:00:00
have to go through. Exactly. You need the cringe sideway perfect point.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:06
That's, um, that's weirdly terrifying. Yeah, for a lot of different reasons, just like what they're doing to their skin, the effects on the economy. I mean, let's go. I know it's kind of a weird thing to jump to. But
Unknown Speaker 1:00:20
I think you said or maybe you haven't said it yet, because we had to restart because technical difficulties. But I think you said it was like a 30% increase. And yeah, products with tweens. Yeah, teenagers are spending 33% more on cosmetics and 19% more on skincare. So for Christmas, like, you know, they're not wanting an art set, or, you know, something like that. It's like, oh, I want these products that I saw was beauty influencer. You want mommy Brown? Brown. That's nuts. I feel like I'm so happy. I didn't grow up with that stuff. Because I feel like I probably would have been like, I want all those things. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. Like, I don't blame the kids, because they really don't have many other options. And that's just kind of what's trendy or whatever now. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:18
But yeah, another thing that's interesting about it.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:23
So this age range, is kind of what has been referred to as like iPad babies. Okay, so iPads came out and you know, 2010, or whatever the fuck. So this is kind of the first generation of kids that have been raised with a screen since they were infants, basically. Yeah. And you know, some parents don't give a fuck, and they're like, Oh, we just need you to shut up. So instead of a TV, which is a little bit more controlled, or used to be before streaming, they're giving them access to the fucking internet, which is terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. Like, if I had a kid, I don't think I would let them have unsupervised internet access. Because, yeah, we grew up with people getting their heads cut off. And yeah, we're jamming the internet. Weird or now.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:17
childhood experience on the internet. Yeah. You gotta really monitor. Yes. But apparently, these kids
Unknown Speaker 1:02:27
because they've basically been raised by the internet, and their parents haven't taught them as much. They're kind of little shits, and they don't have social skills.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:40
Because their parents have what iPads and screens kind of be the babysitter's and these beauty influencers. Yeah. So they kind of think of themselves as like a beauty influencer. So there's kind of like some entitlement and like a
Unknown Speaker 1:02:56
like, they're something special. Yeah. You know. So a bunch of Sephora employees have been talking about how these girls come in, and they're rude as shit. And, you know, they have all Debbie's? Yeah, they're crochet daddies, because they haven't been taught how to interact. And,
Unknown Speaker 1:03:17
you know, it's like, they have a whole basket full of stuff, and they just hand over their gift card. And if it doesn't cover it, they don't understand that, like, this gift card isn't like a magic piece of plastic that's going to cover whatever they want. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, I think it's like a credit card. Kind of. Yeah, here you go. I want my things. So there's just all these really weird things going into this. Yeah. financial, social, just, it's really weird. And
Unknown Speaker 1:03:52
yeah, apparently, a bunch of
Unknown Speaker 1:03:55
kids in this age range are just kind of little shits. I mean, obviously, I know. Not all of them are. And I don't necessarily blame them. But also, it doesn't mean they're not annoying. Yeah. And, like, people are making videos about how a 10 year old like, they went to grab the last one of these products at the same time. And the 10 year old like snatched it and it's like being shitty to the adult. Trying to buy it. I mean, it's nuts. I highly recommend looking into it, man. Yeah, I definitely would like to look into it more. I mean, I can't help but think to you that they're just like ruining their skin, putting that much stuff on it like so frequently, because and they're just so young. I mean, there's probably not studies of, you know, Oh, yeah. When a child puts this on and wears it for the next 30 years. I mean, if you go far enough back into history, you could probably
Unknown Speaker 1:04:58
but I mean, I don't know
Unknown Speaker 1:05:00
Maybe by the time they're my age, they'll look older than they should. And then by that I'll look younger than I am, by contrast, so I don't know, maybe it'll just work out for me. Yeah, people are saying that they think that's gonna happen. And also, I feel very bad for them. But yes, for me.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:20
Also, with younger people getting into vaping so much smoking ages you so we may end up looking younger than the generations below us. Because they're doing a bunch of weird shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Because I was I was just asking Brandon, I think it was this morning. I was like, Hey, does my skin like, do I at least look my age? Like, I don't look older? Do I don't give a fuck. If I look younger, I just don't want to look older. You know? Um, but yeah, I feel like
Unknown Speaker 1:05:54
unless you have some very specific stuff that you talk about, with your dermatologist, I feel like you shouldn't even like wash your face every day. Unless you're doing like really, like, hard, sweaty, dirty work. Just because you're stripping so much. Like oils and shut off your skin and everything. Let it just like, if you do that every day, your face is gonna be so fucking oil. It's like your hair. You know, don't ya know if I'm giving bad advice? I'm just saying this was kind of what worked for me. No, I don't think so. I mean, everybody's stuff vary so much. Yeah. Like it's scary that these kids that don't have that foresight, or just getting all their advice from a person that's probably being sent PR packages. Yeah. paid to be like, oh, yeah, you should buy this shit now, man. Yeah, that's it. I wonder how many like other niches things like this are happening in just because god there's so many. Well to kind of elaborate on that a little bit more people are also
Unknown Speaker 1:06:57
talking about other Christmas gifts that young kids asked for because of this same situation. Okay, there's not really a market for tween stuff. So you know, a lot of teenagers their Christmas list for like, a Stanley tumber tumbler, Sephora gift cards like, adult like Lululemon stuff. It's not, you know, toys or Spensive. Yeah. So brands that people like to show off? Yes. Like what kids want? Yeah, so they're on social media. Yeah, they're already getting into that, like,
Unknown Speaker 1:07:35
status symbol type of thing and worrying about stuff like that instead of being a kid, man, that's super depressing. Yeah, man. I do have something a little bit lighter. Also to do with beauty. Ooh. So there is a skincare brand called sol de Janeiro, which I don't know if you've ever heard of them. They make that stuff called like, bum bum cream. Oh, I think I've heard about that. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:03
So they've been under criticism for one of their products for a very strange reason. There was a review left online on Sephora is website of their Alyssia drench body butter. And that is an intense moisture in skin barrier Repair Cream, which is $48 little jar. Oh, so another luxury thing? Yeah, this is something else that the kids are asking for for Christmas. So the review says if you're scared of Wolf Spiders watch out for these lotions lol Well, I wanted to love them so bad. But one of the ingredients is like kryptonite to wolf spiders. When I put it on instantly one will come out normally I'll see one like every three years.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:51
But I use this and it's every day I stopped using it and haven't seen one since said a since deleted review. And other people started coming out and talking about how when they wear this cream. They're noticing more spiders around why?
Unknown Speaker 1:09:09
That's fucking weird. So I have like a spider pheromone or some shit Nice. So
Unknown Speaker 1:09:15
somebody unread it.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:19
I guess I won't read his whole thing because it's kind of long. But basically, there is a two component female produced pheromone of a spider. And it signals sexual communication. A chemical analysis of this lotion shows that a couple of these ingredients
Unknown Speaker 1:09:44
they're kind of higher, or like the same ingredients are in the webs of spiders whenever they're like horny, ladies spiders. They start so NPPs into their world. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:58
Pershing Square
Unknown Speaker 1:10:00
It digs into their web PDS into their web. So it says to choice behavioral essays verified that the blend of our neillsville acetate and hexa sale acetate attracted males.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:19
So these ingredients are used in skincare for their fruity smell and they're kind of a waxy texture.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:27
And they're used for thickening body creams and stuff. So to summarize, furnaces oil acetate with hex doodle loop in the right dosage might bring all the thirsty boy spiders to your yard. Because you may also smell like a thirsty girl spider. Damn, that's terrifying. Yeah, so People Magazine wrote an article about this. I'm finding the weirdest articles lately. And they talked to a dermatologist who said that that's unlikely. But was she just paid by the company? They'll say that?
Unknown Speaker 1:11:09
Also, what's a dermatologist know about spider biology? Good point, you know?
Unknown Speaker 1:11:16
So somebody had commented This on one of Sol de Janeiro's Instagram or whatever social media, talking about the whole wolf spider thing. And they wrote back the brand wrote back Hey, babe. Of course, this rumor isn't true. None of our products including the Lycia drench 59 Mist contain these allegedly arachnid attracting ingredients. And then they did a yellow heart emoji.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:46
And I looked on my website and suspiciously there are no spider mentioning reviews on their website. Oh, so I'm taking all that shit down conspiracy that goes all the way to the top. I agree. This is this is a various spider suspicious thing. Yeah, I could see this 100% happening. just coincidence mixing a bunch of weird shit. And you make spiders want to get out their panties. Or they use stuff from spiders and lied about it. True.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:23
That is pretty crazy. And just something that I could have never fathom happening. I know.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:33
A lot of weird stuff going on in the beauty world.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:37
My face cream brings all the boys to the yard. That's um, man. I hope kids don't get a hold of that because I'm gonna like put all over the whole body and then just be like
Unknown Speaker 1:12:49
yeah, so pretty wild.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:53
I'm not gonna lie. I kind of want to know what a spider peeny looks like now.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:59
Yeah, maybe I'll do that now. Well, I don't I'm just kind of like I don't want to show up in my history, but
Unknown Speaker 1:13:07
I was put spider private parts
Unknown Speaker 1:13:13
Oh, wait. male spiders don't have penises and stuff they have they possess two stubby appendages called pedia pulps. Oh, that they use to store sperm and copulate with female mates.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:27
Um,
Unknown Speaker 1:13:29
son Do they just like shoot it into her vagina?
Unknown Speaker 1:13:34
I guess so. I'm scared dog.
Unknown Speaker 1:13:41
Does it look like a peony at all? I don't see a picture of it. Yeah, I just found description
Unknown Speaker 1:13:50
maybe I have to look it up more specifically, but either private
Unknown Speaker 1:14:01
fighter piney. Okay, let's see.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:06
Oh, wow. It's super tiny. I mean, of course it's
Unknown Speaker 1:14:11
a little piney kind of teeny, weeny, teeny, weeny.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:19
Picture of the spider scared me a little dry for a second. It looks like a little stick with a bulb on it. Yeah, I agree. And maybe like a little Stinger at the end of the bulb.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:32
Lady spider. It'd be like, dear Wally is crazy dude. Woe is me.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:41
I don't want that one way
Unknown Speaker 1:14:46
I don't want your spider private parts near my spider.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:52
You see that drawing? I did my web. Not what
Unknown Speaker 1:14:58
why this was a very
Unknown Speaker 1:15:00
Very interesting episode, it raised a bunch of topics as good return. I'm happy to be back. Yeah. I'm sorry if some of my reading was not that great. I'm getting one backup from I felt the same way. I felt like I forgot how to read. So we'll learn again. Yeah, well, we'll get it. We'll get back on track that heads were still shaken up from crochet Debbie.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:24
Acting like a dad yelling at you for not understanding your math homework. Yeah. A true Debbie Downer. Yeah, for sure. Definitely. Fun. All right.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:36
We'll catch you soon. We have some fun things in store.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:41
We're going to try to get back on a once a week recording schedule at some point this year.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:47
Have a cool series we're going to do so we'll probably use that as a point to get back in to weekly. So that'll be fun. You guys will like it. I promise. Hell yeah. Keep your keep your peonies cliches
Unknown Speaker 1:16:03
and your peepees weepy weepies
Unknown Speaker 1:16:09
football people poopoo
Unknown Speaker 1:16:16
Bye bye