VROOM VROOM! It’s our special car episode with our special guests - The Car Boys! **Trigger warning for the use of the “r” word (used in context of vehicles - it’ll make more sense when you listen, but didn’t want anyone to be surprised)
**Trigger warning for mention of SA (used in context of vehicles - it’ll make more sense when you listen...but didn’t want anyone to be surprised)
Meet the car boys, recording from an RV at the track! We discuss a documentary we watched called, “My Car is My Lover” and explore mechanophilia a little bit. Car Boy #2 shares his experience when he met a mechanophiliac!
Alyssa shares some embarrassing car related stories. We take a little detour conversation about shower shitters before we ask each other about what cars we would get intimate with IF WE HAD TO.
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
The socials: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Oh, welcome to nervous last laughter everybody. Um, this is George Hill. I'm a guest today. And I'm I'm Jamie Where's Alyssa? I didn't notice you with that voice we got special special guests today. The car boys. The car boys. Yeah, car boy you guys want to say our boys
Unknown Speaker 0:43
are number one. Number two.
Unknown Speaker 0:46
I'm car boy number three a four. Like, is this supposed to be a eligible bachelor show?
Unknown Speaker 0:57
interviewed you guys like that? Oh, we may have some questions for you a little bit later on. Major answers to Yes. What so what do you want to talk about? Voice so we do you want to talk about Mecca? Philia. First? Yeah, so I guess we should tell them that we're recording live fro all recordings. Were in an RV? I don't know. Wait, where are we crescent? Chris in Texas, at a racetrack what is it called motors
Unknown Speaker 1:32
motorsport motorsports ranch.
Unknown Speaker 1:35
Yeah, we're here to support the car boys not sponsored. Yeah, so we watched a documentary called My car is my lover. I could really relate to it. This is George, by the way. Core point number three. Um, yeah, and that's so a McCann Ophelia is like people that are have a fetish for helicopters, cars, any kind of machinery really. And we got to watch this guy. Screw a car. And then he also had a friend that was talking about raping other cars. And yeah, it was really, it was bad. Yeah. Oh. And one of them just had a like real problem with it. Because like the camera crew was like, we turned around for a few minutes to film this and it's like a beautiful snowcapped mountain scene. And then they're like, and then we turned around to get this shot and let's just like jizz on the ground is um, so yeah, he was sneaking around with other cars behind his cars. Well, yeah, I guess his car like he didn't think it could make this trip. So is that was that Todd? Oh, or that he took? Yeah, that was the other guy that was talking about raping other cars. He had Todd, but then that guy had sex with Todd behind. Oh, yes. Back. Yeah. And then at the end of the documentary, he's like, did you just on my car and then it ends?
Unknown Speaker 3:17
Euler. Sorry, I was left off on quite a cliffhanger. What was it called? Like?
Unknown Speaker 3:23
My car is my lover or the name of the documentary? Yeah, okay. Yeah, my car is my lover. You guys should watch it. It's a good BBC. Um, oh. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know BBC was that trashy? British air in the tree TV of England.
Unknown Speaker 3:42
Discovery Channel we're doing Oh
Unknown Speaker 3:43
yeah. There was a Discovery Channel episode on I think it was My Strange Addiction. Yeah, the guy that's like in a relationship with his car and that's when I started telling car boy number three I think that I knew what kind of thing he had some love with his car over here at the track
Unknown Speaker 4:09
if George has that he's a car slick cuz yeah. Cars yeah was around. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 4:21
First Exactly. And you did have a dream about your car should we got it on here earlier? Should have been secretly recording. Yeah, I didn't know how to turn it on. Turn it on. Not the cars. Um, what else did we learn that documentary? Oh, I think I have some I wrote down some quotes learn but the tailpipe is the cars anus and that's where some people like to insert office. Yeah, I mean, what's the car vagina? Where's the Tarot these cards? Hmm. Now let me I don't know what that is. Yeah. Is that where you put the gas pump in? Yeah, okay. It is maybe something like that. No, I was asking if that's what
Unknown Speaker 5:20
No, no, no. I was thinking that oh what's an intake? air goes into the engine.
Unknown Speaker 5:29
Oh well that sounds perfect and if anyone's interested in picking up this fetish, it is illegal in some some nation so just be careful. There was a guy that got arrested for having like a like a drunk fueled car fucking session and then he also went to um I guess he went to some other place but they said that he like stripped off his clothes and like danced in there and then peed on the floor and then like went outside and peed on the car. And the car golden showers Yeah, that's like a whole different level of love Mecca. I can't remember the name of it. Meccano philia. Oh, one point in the documentary we watch there's this guy and he wears like a hat with bear ears. He's the one that secretly folks Todd. Yes. Or no, they're all Todd to me. Oh, and Todd is supposed to be like a kit. Like look alike. Or whatever. Like a kit look alike. Because that was like his first car love. Oh, I so. Yeah. From that, right. Yeah. Yeah. That was cool. Oh, you want to say no. It can talk back. That's the worst.
Unknown Speaker 7:08
Like, why would you have sex with a car if you could talk about
Unknown Speaker 7:19
a documentary. Boy did these guys was like, Well, I never wanted to get married. Never wanted to have kids. So this is what Jason sitting me here is like no, no.
Unknown Speaker 7:35
So I just realized that I think I may have met a MacArthur. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 7:43
Like, if you just walk out on Christmas
Unknown Speaker 7:45
car. It wasn't her. Oh, so okay,
Unknown Speaker 7:49
my brother and I were in Colorado. We're at this pool called pinkies. And it was weird. Like all the pool tables had pink felt it was really trashy kind of weird.
Unknown Speaker 8:03
Oh, right. But they had free pool.
Unknown Speaker 8:05
Free pool night. So we went there and there's this chick was just just fucked up really, really well. And we, towards the end of the night, like the bartender's are asked us if we give her a ride home like me and my brother like, hey, two random dudes give this drunk chick a ride home.
Unknown Speaker 8:26
Interesting choice.
Unknown Speaker 8:29
We did. And I was driving to 72 Camaro at the time. And
Unknown Speaker 8:34
humblebrag Yeah, it was pretty cool. She was like, Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 8:38
But anyway, so as like, We're leaving in trend like we get to her apartment or what we think is her apartment. She said it was but she wasn't really that coherent. But like, she's getting out and then she starts just like, kissing the fender of my car. Just like what? Yeah, it was weird. Kid.
Unknown Speaker 9:03
Yeah, that person reproduce. Why would she do that? She didn't know the rules. She was able to get pregnant
Unknown Speaker 9:24
as you were talking about horses, I just realized that I'm not one of those people.
Unknown Speaker 9:31
He didn't get her number. No. Why did you
Unknown Speaker 9:33
meet her child? Because her house.
Unknown Speaker 9:38
Oh, that poor kid is like, all the time.
Unknown Speaker 9:41
I don't know who the babysitter was there. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 9:46
That's even more weird.
Unknown Speaker 9:51
The mom to the kid to the five year old so he could take care of mom. I'm a mom to the babysitter. And then the kid just happened to be there. Yes. You're his daddy.
Unknown Speaker 10:04
No, you see that car I'm gonna be honest, literally never occurred to me that women could do that. Well, yeah, I mean, it makes sense. That's the first thing I thought of when Jason said that but today DARE YOU carboy number three. Did you find your quotes? Oh, yeah. Yeah, um, let's see. So
Unknown Speaker 10:48
I mean, it might be ambitious but middles kind of scary stuff.
Unknown Speaker 10:59
I guess this can
Unknown Speaker 11:01
This is the part where your hand goes.
Unknown Speaker 11:05
Well, no, I understand. But I was like, nevermind. That's for your friend.
Unknown Speaker 11:14
For your listeners here.
Unknown Speaker 11:16
So it's like bowling pin but why? And has like a ring around the middle and get smaller going down. Car people explain it.
Unknown Speaker 11:35
Or very similar to a marital aid, I think is what Jason was trying to get out.
Unknown Speaker 11:41
Okay, I understand. He didn't mean to physically describe what the shift. No, yeah. Yeah. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 11:48
describe it. Then it kind of looks
Unknown Speaker 11:52
like okay. Okay, well, I have some quotes from a documentary. Oh, and what I was gonna say earlier, the guy with a bear ears. I was walking around without pants to go greet these other cars. I needed to get them at night. Like in a motel perfect. Yeah. No fucking pants walking around in between cars. So that same guy. They're interviewing him like, well, when did this fetish star like asking him shit about it? And to explain it. He goes, Well, I'm a Scorpio into astrology and fucking cars Scorpios out there. Yeah. Tell us about your car fucking escapades. Porsche na Scorpio. Yeah, yeah. And then there's another guy. I don't remember his name. He was the guy that owned the car that the bear guy fucked without? Okay. Consent. Okay. Yeah. Todd's boy, boyfriend, ex Walmart employee. Tell them about that. Do you want to tell them? Okay, I'll tell them. Yeah. So he's like driving across the country. And then he just pulls over. He's like, Oh, shit, I need to call him to work. And then he's like, I was supposed to be in like an hour ago. And he calls and he's like, Hey, I can't make it to work. I've been like hanging out with these guys. And like, my car broke down all that was a lie. Of course. Then you're just like, yeah, so I can't make it in. I assume I don't have a job anymore. But I'll probably be back in two weeks. If there's any way I could like, make it work. But yeah, I think I don't think they ever said if he got fired or not. I mean, the guy on the phone was like, well, I'll just let me know when you get back. Whoa, we'll talk about it. So that guy, I guess he decided to come clean to his family because he's gonna be on this documentary and they're gonna find out anyway. So he's telling his roommate about the car stuff. And he says, Jared, this isn't a joke. I absolutely want to fuck he said it really passionately. Yeah, that was the same guy that was just talking about raping the other cars. You're just like walking around the car show just like welding? Yeah, yeah. It was hooked up like yeah, like, why so aggressive? Kind of. There's some other issues going on there. Yeah. Was he the one that had the VW Bug named vanilla bear? Yeah, okay. Yeah. And he told her think it was a her right bug. Yeah, his bug. Vanilla was a girl and he told her she had cute cheeks. They came across like an older car on the way to like super old. Oh, yeah. And he was like, it was like a wagon. Next lady. She's an old woman. And like, the camera crew was like, Yeah, you should probably just not have sex with her then. Right? And she's like an old lady. And he was like, No, it'd be an honor. Are
Unknown Speaker 15:23
you having more quotes? No, I think that's it. I'm saying. Yeah, I think that's it. I have an embarrassing car story about myself. Yeah. So do you want to help me tell this? Because I would like to help you. Whenever I, when you're teaching me to drive a sick Oh, yes. So we went to the mall parking lot, because our malls like vacant now. And we're driving around and like, Damn, I'm like, you're really killing us doing really good. I don't know why people talk about why it's hard. And I'm like, You should just let me drive home and he's like, No.
Unknown Speaker 16:28
I'm like, I don't know. I'm doing really good. I think people just like make a big deal out of nothing, you know? So he gets your neighborhood. And I'm like, oh, yeah, let me drive now. So we're driving around. We come to a four way stop. And I completely forget everything I've learned I guess there's a three way stop. There are people on either side? And I didn't know what to do completely forgot. I'm like trade
Unknown Speaker 17:07
honked at me I don't know. Crying it's fucking stressful and he like reaches his arm and he's like go
Unknown Speaker 17:21
he was done but he was so cocky
Unknown Speaker 17:27
I was confident for once in my life never was like Hey, I think I'm a prodigy.
Unknown Speaker 17:42
Started like three times just like
Unknown Speaker 17:47
is easy in the parking lot but it was terrifying. And I think that I made you switch Macy
Unknown Speaker 17:54
drove through the intersection. Yeah, pulled over at somebody else's house and drove was the last quarter
Unknown Speaker 18:04
to show you where it happened. Like it's just yeah, it's like it. I guess I shouldn't say yeah, number one tried to teach me to drive stick and it was just wasn't
Unknown Speaker 18:24
what it was. You did okay. Whenever you first start I mean, you're gonna kind of forget and you know, have a weird coordination thing. I mean, I've done that a couple of times where it's like, what do I do? Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 18:40
Jason did that with me the other day in his car because you stole the car.
Unknown Speaker 18:52
You got to
Unknown Speaker 18:54
I wasn't used to drive that car.
Unknown Speaker 18:56
Oh, sure. You're learning you're not alone. I understand. It was your car was that at the same spot where I did it?
Unknown Speaker 19:22
That was at the light turning out onto the main road.
Unknown Speaker 19:25
Okay. Sorry, dressed again. Car boy number two lives, like two houses from us.
Unknown Speaker 19:35
Yes. His name is also Jason.
Unknown Speaker 19:39
Car number two you introduce yourself Is there gonna be
Unknown Speaker 19:46
Jason pick up Alyssa when the truck broke down?
Unknown Speaker 19:49
Oh, that was fucking scary. So I'm driving our truck. And I feel like I don't have brakes. anymore. I don't know if I told you Oh, yeah, and I couldn't really turn the steering wheel. So I had to like, luckily I was right by a parking lot. So I had to turn in. And then I was just in this really weird spot like in the middle of people like leaving and coming to the grocery store. And I had to come get me.
Unknown Speaker 20:21
Yeah, it was terrible story. But no, you're not lying either. You're lame. story. Your story is lame. I'm saying she's lame as a joke. Almost both. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 20:37
was like, yeah, it was lame. And I was listening. I was listening to the cowboy boys podcast, and they were talking about the most like, ridiculous thing. I can't remember. I remember telling you what it was. But now I don't remember. And whatever it was, I was like, This is gonna be the last thing I hear before. It was like, would you rather have like a dick for a belly button or like some other cat on it or something like that. And I'm listening to that as I don't have brakes and I'm like, Well Well, whenever I'm on an airplane, I'm like, I'm gonna die or whatever. And like, what's in bless me. Here's turn it to like last podcast on take myself out of it. Um, who all was there when that guy was trying to back up the trailer? Oh, my God. He was there. carboy number three was there. I well let you do it. Let's Dory because I had to remove myself from the situation because it was it was too much. Yeah, also couldn't watch it. But yeah, so we were we were supporting Alyssa at her CrossFit competition. And it was very nice. There was a food truck. And it was connected to a regular truck and he was trying to like back it up and get it parked, but he just kept like jackknifing it over. And over and over and everyone was just standing around watching. You wouldn't carboy number two and our another friend we had had a bit about who could back up a trailer better. Carrie was like, it's easy. Like, go do it carry help. I think after a while someone else had to come and just swap but like somebody from like the crowd. Yeah. But everyone was watching and it was just painful. It was Ultra cringy talking. Yeah, after like a minute you were Yeah, you had to go inside. You're like, I can't watch. Yeah, I was like, I can't look away. It was like, in between our events. And I was like, if I keep watching this, it's gonna like, I'm just gonna be so cringed out. I'm not gonna be able to do what I need to do. Like it's too much mentally for me right now. I soaked it all in for you. Yeah, thank you for that. That's one of the scariest things is having people watch you drive. Like, I drove me and Jamie here today. Very well. Thank you. I'm very proud of myself. That was a long way to drive somebody. I just get really nervous. And I have other people in the car. I'm just like, how do I dry? Yeah, it's easy to forget when someone's watching so that's why I'm such a bad driver when you're in the car terribly. Number one you'll be invited back please do it because you do
Unknown Speaker 23:44
he's been so supportive talking about how well she did driving sick and
Unknown Speaker 23:49
driving. So you're saying I should drive a stick more? I was hoping that you could tell your story about when your car got stolen. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, please share with the group.
Unknown Speaker 24:07
Absolutely. Alright, so um, I was in California, and I got a job at Domino's. And whenever I was getting trained, this guy was training me. He used to just basically go and just let his car be running and run up to the doors with pizza and give it to him or whatever, and go back and I was just like, This guy's crazy leaving his fucking car just running here. Like I'm never doing that. So just want to preface the story by saying a few a few months later, I get out of the car. This I think this is the second time I ever did it. I was like 10 feet away from the door at this apartment complex. And I left the car running because it was right there. And all of a sudden, as I'm delivering the pizza, I hear a door slam and I look around and somebody's in my car and they fucking take off. And the guy the guy's backing up, and it's a stick and he is like about to stall it out and then window was down, and I just started, I'm chasing it. And then finally he gets into gear, but the whole time I'm chasing it. I'm like, What am I gonna do? I'm gonna jump in the window and just like adrenaline fueled at this point, and he gets into gear and he leaves. And I call the cops immediately and everything and and they weren't able to get him or whatever. So,
Unknown Speaker 25:23
like, I'm forever.
Unknown Speaker 25:24
Well, no, no, no, no. Yeah. That night. So they take the report and everything and you know, whatever. And they're like, alright, we'll let you know if we find it, blah, blah. And I'm like, alright, and I was like, That thing's done with that was actually
Unknown Speaker 25:43
a joke. I said, pre lewd, like, this was the beginning of the story.
Unknown Speaker 25:53
The great thing about this story, as I was like, I was already thinking not getting ready. Anyway, so a week later, I get a call from the officer that that took the report and everything and he tells me the story. And he's like, he's like, We found your car. And he's like, basically, we found it in the same parking lot that it was stolen from they just went dropped back off. everywhere, all over. But anyway, when they got there, there was a guy in the car. And, and they found this guy, and they arrested him. And it was this third strike. And in California that's 25 to life. And apparently, the they determined that it wasn't him who stole it. But he was told by the guy that stole it to go get rid of it, because they didn't sit there and attract attention for a long time. So anyway, I'm thinking about this afterwards. I'm just thinking about it randomly. And I'm like, no, like, Wait a second. Oh, and I went, I went and got my car afterwards. Like, they found it and I got everything out of it and stuff like that. And they cut all of the wires on the dash for whatever fucking reason. And they only sold the stereo and speakers, which was like Britain, nothing. So anyway, so I'm thinking about it afterwards. And I'm like, I'm like, wait a second. Like, there was a guy in the car. All the wires were cut, and I remembered my driver's side indoor handle had broken off. And, and I was trying to get a, I was trying to replace it with a cord one, because it was a lot cheaper than the prelude one at the time. And so I had undid the passenger's side stuff. And when I put everything back together, I did not put the rod in there to actually open up the door. And I it was just like that. Like, it was like the day before. I think that the car got stolen does happen. So I just hadn't gotten the chance to put it back in there. And I realized I was like, Wait, so the everything was, you know, electric, you know, the windows rolled up everything. All the wires were cut, so the dude was just tracking the car yeah, terrible. The statement isn't great.
Unknown Speaker 28:05
Yeah. If you're listening to us in prison, the story goes out to you, guys, it's
Unknown Speaker 28:15
still still behind bars, I
Unknown Speaker 28:16
guess. Day. I mean, probably. Life. Yeah. Yeah, that's like a shitty, like third offense ticket. They're like, yep. So what happens? When I worked at the funeral home, we had this suburban hearse that we would drive around in and it got stolen one night. Oh, yeah. It took him a couple days to find it. I guess they found it and it was like awful and needles and shit. And they're like, yeah, like we got the needles out, but I was like, I'm gonna fuckin sit down and get stabbed. But no, I just know it. But like, who would go steal a hearse of like, any vehicle? Go check us. I mean, I would think you would want to steal like a pizza car. Or something more like nondescript like, that was so urban hearse like, how many of those are there just hanging out? How many horses are there hanging out?
Unknown Speaker 29:22
No, that was the coolest thing they like we got to have that.
Unknown Speaker 29:26
Like it's like spiritual man because if I die I'll already be in the hearse. They're just making a shortcut for you. You didn't have to pick up their body I think the only like embarrassing car story I have. And if I have more than this, please let me know. But like, I think I already said this on the pot. I go one of the podcast before but you guys have heard most like, I was calling to make an appointment for my car and the guy just like asked how many miles it was and I'm like A 2019 accord and he was like how many lawns on it? I was like, I don't know, it won't turn on. And he was like, Well, can you guess? And I was like, Oh, God, that was a mistake to ask. And I think I said like, myself like 300
Unknown Speaker 30:19
Yeah, he was just like, Are you sure? I was like, I don't know. He was like, that would be really hard to do. And a couple years, I was like, Well, I don't know. So I was like, I haven't driven it in the last year because like, COVID He's like, Okay, you're probably like aroma smells like why didn't you just say? Um, yeah, I'm very bad with the any form of measurement. So, there you go. That's where that came from.
Unknown Speaker 30:57
I have an embarrassing one. I agree. We can store. Oh, okay. So this doesn't have to do with cars, but it has to do with the RV. The one. Yeah. that we got from what was it? pawpaws. Paul, Paul scamper. Say, you've ever lived in Mississippi. There's a commercial for popples camper city. And there's always a kid that like kicks the wheel and it's like that's a good camper home Papa. Um, so we went, I guess we were like in East Texas, this really nice park. And we're like, parked by the lake. And we're like we're playing skip Bo, which I typically dominate it is that it's a cart. I think we have it in here. Maybe it's a card game. I always forget how to play until we start playing. Yes, but we're playing that. And I was like, I need to go to the bathroom. And so carboy number two.
Unknown Speaker 32:13
Wondering how I can agree
Unknown Speaker 32:21
well, I'll back up a little bit. So I had made us like pork chops. And we were a long trip. So we had like some canned vegetables because like, I felt like fresh ones would have gone bad. So we had canned green beans and pork chops and maybe something else. It was really good. Yeah. Or playing cards. I need to go to the bathroom. Typically what we do when we camp somewhere we'll use the bathroom and the shower at the campsite. Because they're usually really nice. And like the RV bathroom is so tiny. And I don't think Have you ever taken a shower in here? Shower leaks? Oh, sorry. Don't use it. Okay. Hot water. Oh, no, no. So I'm like, Okay, we're sitting here playing cards and like, I don't want to be gone for a long time. I'm just gonna use the camper bathroom. So I go in the car car Point number two is robbing chance to
Unknown Speaker 33:27
keep in mind, this is like day three or four of the trip.
Unknown Speaker 33:31
Yeah, we're early into the trip. So I'm like, I go to the bathroom and I'm flushing it and like it's not going on. And you know, in a normal toilet, sometimes you kind of panic and you like keep flushing well with the RV toilet. It's like a flap and there's a hole. So like, if it's not going down, you should just stop because like the water is rising. I'm like, I think
Unknown Speaker 34:06
she thinks it's clogged.
Unknown Speaker 34:08
Flush. Yeah. So I keep trying to flush it so I'm like maybe it'll go down and just like need some more water
Unknown Speaker 34:16
my number one I have no idea where this going. And I feel like everyone else does. He's like, do you want me to come help you? I'm like no.
Unknown Speaker 34:32
And like it won't go down. And like even if we had a plunger I don't think it would really like be effective in the RV. Yeah. So I'm freaking out and I'm like it won't go down. And he's like, Well, I don't think the the tank would be full. I mean, we're only like a couple days in. So I come out here and get the green being killed. out of the trash and scoop some of the water out and pour it down the sink because it is a very brim and at the time there's carpet in the RV so we could not risk like spilling on this carpet. But yeah it turns out that our tank was full and we had to pack everything up and drive to a dump station to empty the tank. So
Unknown Speaker 35:27
you have to bail the water out of the toilet
Unknown Speaker 35:29
yeah so when finished with a green Binky yeah to get water out
Unknown Speaker 35:40
so the reason why I wouldn't go down is because the water level was there it wasn't like it was clogged or anything like that
Unknown Speaker 35:48
too much it was too full there is nowhere for the water to go to so I just kept adding more and more water trying to get it away but it was just at the very
Unknown Speaker 35:58
end the RV bath like toilet here is basically like a kind of it's like it looks like a basically a toilet so it's on top of like a big buckets and there's just a hole on the bottom of it that has a little door and opens up and so once the buckets full go is in the toilet kept off flush it away
Unknown Speaker 36:21
and like where we were we had to like set out all these levels because it was uneven so it took like all this time to get set up we had to like move this slide back in like move all these levels it was dark so he had to get out this like whole like host system in the dark and yeah, so that happened when number three thank you for point number three but yeah, I have no idea how it was full and why they have promoted to RV man. Oh yeah.
Unknown Speaker 36:51
I didn't have to bail look in the water and stuff like that that was easy compared to having to like use a canopy turn water
Unknown Speaker 37:17
was like okay, there's like a form of something Yeah, yeah, there was a form there was so much I mean like the toilets not big by any means but I feel like there was like 50 gallons of water Oh, for sure. When so.
Unknown Speaker 37:47
If you were a shower shitter you could have just
Unknown Speaker 37:51
shower we haven't talked about showers yet I didn't know that existed until my sister was telling me a story about being a shower. No, she like witnessed one she was in the Air Force and so in boot camp you'll have to do like a bunch of stuff with Oh showers and stuff together and stuff and yeah, one girl was took a shit and like push it down the drain everyone's like what the fuck are you doing fucking shower shit. And yeah, so everyone was like what the fuck and I think like the you know, like Lieutenant or whoever was over and had to like talk to her about it but like
Unknown Speaker 38:33
that conversation was aborted like listen,
Unknown Speaker 38:36
can't shit in the shower. You were dishonorably discharged or your dishonorable discharge I can't believe your sister like saw that happen like yeah even reading about it I'm like maybe this is somehow fake and people know it's real and just like people that like sit on the toilet the wrong way right way but the set like facing the tank Yeah. Yeah, hold your laptop one story
Unknown Speaker 39:20
just kind of how does it turn out come out the front rattling so your dick isn't like smashed up against the the older I feel like your butthole would be too far back and you
Unknown Speaker 39:35
think you have to like hug the thing. But sometimes they get sleepy and you have to take a poop that's kind of nice. Rest your head
Unknown Speaker 39:51
wake up after you taking the shit Bill asleep like that's kind of
Unknown Speaker 39:58
a wake up your legs are not
Unknown Speaker 40:02
true true. I'm not gonna show you that, actually. A story.
Unknown Speaker 40:06
Yeah, what's up? I was playing Nintendo DS. I was playing Tetris online and that was really competitive with it at the time. And I sat there for like, a while and then when I got up, my legs are completely numb. And I just fell straight into the sink. I had to like, sit there and get a back. Wait, see?
Unknown Speaker 40:25
Oh, yeah, it was a year. 40 minutes. This was like, when you're like 12
Unknown Speaker 40:35
California. Oh, you're an adult? Oh, yeah. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 40:41
Making a joke of you being an adult doing it, but okay.
Unknown Speaker 40:45
No, no. I just like
Unknown Speaker 40:47
Tetris. has made great choices in the shower. I know. That's true. That's true. Yeah, the shower shitting thing. There's this article that came out and that's how I found out about it. And it was like 30% of people shit in the shower or something. Or it was a number that I thought was astronomical. It may have not been 30 but I mean, even even more than more than point 5% is yeah, if you're not a baby, and you accidentally poop. Yeah, you should poop in the shower.
Unknown Speaker 41:27
So statistically one of us not. carboy number one
Unknown Speaker 41:36
drop logs and showers. This guy,
Unknown Speaker 41:43
although you can take the drain off of our shower, so maybe the lady that owned a house before us was a shower.
Unknown Speaker 41:49
We're gonna bleach everything. Take it off and just
Unknown Speaker 41:52
Yeah, so Aerith is very interesting Palma like, I use the bathroom and she'll come sit on my lap and then she'll like sniff like the end of the back of the toilet. And she's just and it'll be done and she's like, Oh, what's going on and I know in there but she always takes the the drain thing off the shower and like pokes her head to get to the poop I don't know if I have any other car store I have a random line of like, there is a guy who like wouldn't he would steal all these exotic cars because he'd give them a fake ID and do the test drive and just take it and then I'm FBI found them and you're driving the car back the FBI agent totaled it on the way so yeah so carboys going back to our first topic if you had to have six with one car what would it be and why
Unknown Speaker 43:08
wants to go first
Unknown Speaker 43:15
okay what if you had to make out with one my the window or something? You saw those weirdos doing that I mean fun he doesn't like to have fun okay, well what card pressure carboy number two who's the lucky lady? Oh boy. He could be in the top I can't think of one that turns me on. Sorry. But if you had to if I had car sector you don't have to enjoy aircraft and machine jet engine
Unknown Speaker 44:42
I will say we're talking about helicopter deck.
Unknown Speaker 44:49
Technology people we could open it up to computer like Oh, you didn't refer to me? Yeah, Car boy number one again disappoint
Unknown Speaker 45:04
no 1997 Toyota Supra. Oh
Unknown Speaker 45:12
yeah it was 97 What Toyota Supra turbo Why do you find her beautiful? Why is she the lucky lady one person out of us would be
Unknown Speaker 45:44
right back at you guys.
Unknown Speaker 45:46
Thank you everything women can be Yeah. What's that I liked bits like the old one that's like the basic bitch one. Like from the 50s and everybody likes that car. But it's a hot car
Unknown Speaker 46:04
like a 55 Chevy.
Unknown Speaker 46:05
Yeah, one of those.
Unknown Speaker 46:08
It's a mirror supersport.
Unknown Speaker 46:10
I was about to say like an older
Unknown Speaker 46:11
shifter that would be like the most ideal.
Unknown Speaker 46:16
I could, I could figure it out.
Unknown Speaker 46:18
I mean, you know, speaking of speaking of figuring that out, you should tell him about having to get out of the race car, the other race car.
Unknown Speaker 46:28
It's a fucking nightmare. So he's working on this car that has a roll cage, and I had to get in it to help him with something and like, I don't know how far the roll cage like sticks up from the bottom maybe like six inches of like a whole frame that's inside the car like okay, and getting in and out of that was fucking terrifying like I'm not claustrophobic but like my heart was racing like I'm going to get a picture for y'all of it. I mean, it's just this tiny little area you had to like crouch down and you have like this much space to get in the car oh shit and we were both laughing hysterically
Unknown Speaker 47:09
tell you how to get in and out of it and hold yourself out first. Like halfway out kind of got stuck the car's back we shouldn't we should video and
Unknown Speaker 47:32
Jason you're just trying to distract from your answer your answer car boy number three. A little bit more about it. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 47:46
there's a car and I think is the the YouTube video one. And they have this aerial shot of this car. It's got a naked lady on the top.
Unknown Speaker 47:56
Okay, so you're trying to make it less weird There you go. carboy number three did okay, he's like I'm a mechanic. This couldn't hurt my career break into that did you was yours the Camaro? Yeah, I think I do. Like the older comedian. I like the one that Harry has. This the older one looks older.
Unknown Speaker 48:44
I mean, it is made to look old.
Unknown Speaker 48:45
Was it before? 2000s It's over. 20 years
Unknown Speaker 48:47
old. Don't look uh, it's after 2010 I think okay. Is there a scar? Challenger? Yeah, children. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 48:56
Oh, yeah. That's that's like a late model. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 48:58
thought it was like a I looked older to me. It sounds like it's like Oh, okay. Yeah, well, then maybe the newer model over the old old man ones. Is it? I mean, is it model buffer like 70s or 80s? Or 90s? I just have some older design. Oh, well, I like that car. Whatever it is. It looks cool. And I lame for liking that car. Don't shame my car. What kind of car was a challenger? Challenger?
Unknown Speaker 49:25
It's like a you know 2015 2016 challenger.
Unknown Speaker 49:30
I can see oh cabooses do you do that or Prius because there won't be efficiency good segue to efficiency your pause it to second man
Unknown Speaker 50:00
Yeah, Brandon's instructor like he got off the track today and his instructor was like, really proud of them Yeah, I think that's gonna be my new step dad mom or my dad that's why we thought they got anyway. Um yeah, so his instructor comes on he's like, oh yeah you got shipped two seconds off and then Brandon walked in I was like, oh my two second man. I don't even think about it like that but carboy number two and unless it's her laughing I was like oh yeah, I was like I'm a busy lady so
Unknown Speaker 50:49
pump chop. So another name for it.
Unknown Speaker 50:53
Why yes did you just make Google Maps according to Urban Dictionary, a two pump chump is a guy who during sex can't contain his load for more than two measly thrust. Okay. The second judgment
Unknown Speaker 51:39
quality they're really two but they were really strong. It continues on and says this leaves a woman shocking, extremely unsatisfied. Let me see how they use it in a sentence. Son of a bitch. Cheryl, that guy last night was a two pump chump. Yeah, and the rest are pretty much the same. So
Unknown Speaker 51:59
I feel like that's an accurate name for that situation. Cheryl.
Unknown Speaker 52:04
Cheryl you jump is like a word that feels like it's from the 50s or something. Jump now people just say fucker. Yeah. Um, yeah, another definition. I don't know how this is necessarily different. But um, says one having sex and you want to get it in twice before you before you done to exclamations on it excellent. You guys need me the audio book reader role? I'll definitely do that. Yeah, all the definitions are the same. Yep. I love the sentences that people write. Yeah. Dictionary. A lot of them are fortunately the same for luck. Just different name. Like, oh, he's chill. Oh. Um, do we have any do you have any other car stories? We haven't heard. number TR boy two or three. Any story
Unknown Speaker 53:18
about the drill making? Oh, yeah. That was that was a great story. It was.
Unknown Speaker 53:23
I'm still shocked. Yeah. Oh, and another funny thing from the documentary we watched. So after that guy like, the fucks like three different cars in the motel parking lot. Things just show like a clip of him. He's like, Oh, shit, I just realized there's cameras. Like cameras in that like, like CCTV cameras in the parking lot. Like, oh, yeah, this film crews following. Like I really worried about the little later. I think they were like, Hey, we saw you do that. And he was like, Okay, I saw that. But it was just almost like joy instead of embarrassed. Like, yeah. Yeah. Man, that documentary.
Unknown Speaker 54:13
was incredibly strange.
Unknown Speaker 54:16
My Strange Addiction and also on My Strange Addiction. Yeah, we should have gone back and watch that one too. Yes, that one. It's a younger guy. And he has the conversation with his dad and it is the most cringy thing. Yeah, he he's like, Dad, I have something to talk to you about. And then he's like I'm in a relationship with I don't remember what he named it. It's bad.
Unknown Speaker 54:42
Yeah, listen, it's dad like very confused. What? Yeah, I camera. The car was like a Chevy Beretta. It was.
Unknown Speaker 54:56
It was red. I just remember him I think he was like laying under it in a way in his head was like and he kind of like bent up break it like make out with oh
Unknown Speaker 55:06
yeah
Unknown Speaker 55:10
well watch that after yeah but also the guy that got arrested he was um it said that he was using the grille of the car so I guess there's not just the tailpipe How do you know? They said his bowl so I don't know if it was just like, he stuck his balls in there and then just went to town or like what was just like, here? Hold this Yeah, yeah, I was like, Dude, what if you get like stuck in there? Like get your balls stuck in there? Like, I don't know. How do you explain that? Do imagine you're like working on the ambulance and you're like we're gonna have a quiet night tonight and then you get a call to go rescue a man's Dick from the car and you're like, Are you fucking kidding me? Same guy I wonder if I'm I wonder if like if two people with that with that interest I wonder like if they could dress up as cars just like room around kind of like a car makes me do and I don't like was thinking about all these like very strict? It's like curvy man just like oh, Phil Roth, or more. So flashed into my mind. I don't want to I don't want to. So when we were looking at stuff for the episode, I was like, oh, like your pickup lines like too much and you're like, Oh, we're not gonna do this. But one like car themed pickup line that I did find that I thought was really good. Was Are you a car door? Cuz I could slam you Oh my
Unknown Speaker 57:17
I feel like if you use that pickup line, you're definitely not slamming anyone.
Unknown Speaker 57:22
Never has
Unknown Speaker 57:29
here's to slam champ.
Unknown Speaker 57:33
That's a positive spin on it Good job. Pat him on the shoulder. Well, do we have anything else? Car boys car boys. Nothing crazy. Cool. Well, thanks for listening. Fat heads. Thank you. Well, you can check us out at Twitter's nervous laugh pod and Instagram. With the full name nervous laughter podcast lesson. Facebook carboy number two said he was going to share with a lot but um yeah, yeah, we found out he's like multiple episodes behind. So yeah, get out of the sorry. But yeah, later. Okay. Thanks for being our guests. Say bye bye.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai