Nervous Laughter Podcast

Episode 89: The Lynn Christmas Tree Debacle

Episode Summary

Merry Christmas! We have a couple songs for your playlist, some Urkel talk, and remember…lock your doggy doors, so Jodi Lynn doesn’t sneak in (hopefully Jamie’s version of The Night Before Christmas will help you remember).

Episode Notes

Merry Christmas! We have a couple songs for your playlist, some Urkel talk, and remember…lock your doggy doors, so Jodi Lynn doesn’t sneak in (hopefully Jamie’s version of The Night Before Christmas will help you remember).

Write us some of your cringe stories at [nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com](mailto:nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com)

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Episode Transcription

Speaker 1  0:00  

So Alyssa The holiday season is upon us and I've been kind of thinking of some memories and one of those is my sisters were pretending to be cats and crawling underneath the Christmas tree and the Christmas tree totally broken

 

Unknown Speaker  0:18  

shit are they break it

 

Speaker 1  0:20  

I think that they were just you know they're crawling under there and I think they just kind of maybe pushed up on it and then when the tree stands snapped and then we just did the Christmas tree up in a corner every year after that

 

Speaker 2  0:57  

I know that the middle names aren't also Lin but in my head I'm just like actually increasing

 

Unknown Speaker  1:06  

but when clan

 

Speaker 1  1:13  

say the names kind of line up though. And and Elaine. Elaine. Oh, yeah. Ashley and Chrissy Lane Jamie. Stop after my cats now.

 

Speaker 2  1:26  

Oh, man, so it was an artificial tree then. Okay,

 

Unknown Speaker  1:29  

I had a real tree in my life. I

 

Speaker 2  1:31  

haven't either. Like part of me is kind of thinking like artificial is better because you can use it like,

 

Speaker 1  1:38  

we're used years. Not killed tree. Yeah,

 

Speaker 2  1:42  

but also I'm like, Cool. If you get a real one you could like, use it for firewood and like a colon. It's like plastic forever. So I don't know.

 

Speaker 1  1:53  

Well yodels this forever. What? This podcast yay. Nervous laughter podcast.

 

Unknown Speaker  2:00  

Welcome everyone. I'm

 

Unknown Speaker  2:01  

Alyssa and I Lani Lin

 

Unknown Speaker  2:06  

Lin's.

 

Speaker 1  2:06  

So I didn't realize that people still did real Christmas trees. Because like, I went over to a friend's. And they had like a real tree. And I was like, Whoa, I just thought that was like a movie thing. Like

 

Speaker 1  2:24  

I eat here. But yeah, just the they were just the surprise from limos, like, do I belong here? Nice. I was fine.

 

Speaker 2  2:35  

I haven't really been around real Christmas trees and people's houses that much. I feel like pretty much everyone goes hang out with those fake Yeah. But I don't know if you've seen these videos. Apparently praying mantises really like Christmas trees. Have you seen the videos? So they have some kind of little pod for lack of a better word that they lay their eggs in. And somebody posted a video and it was like a PSA. Like, if you see this make sure you take it out of your tree. Because if not, you're gonna wake up with like, hundreds of oh, maybe not hundreds. a shit ton of little hops, millions of mouthwash cups for praying mantises in your house. Oh,

 

Speaker 1  3:19  

man. Those little things can be little bubbles too. Oh, really? Yeah. I just remember when I was younger, um, I was with a friend. And she was kind of like messing with one and it like, you know, jumped on her. And I thought in my in my mind, I thought of it as it beating her up. Maybe that's just you know, not. That sounds awesome. Maybe maybe that was just my child brain. And then my adult brain never corrected it. Well,

 

Speaker 2  3:48  

did you have anything else to add about the LIN Christmas tree debacle?

 

Unknown Speaker  3:52  

I don't think so.

 

Speaker 2  3:54  

Well, then I will carry on the Christmas time spirit. I found this Christmas song. Also on tick tock. Because apparently that's where I get all of my news and information ever. Yeah. And we'll edit parts of

 

Unknown Speaker  4:08  

it. And if it's royalty free? Yes.

 

Speaker 2  4:10  

The song is I believe, mid 70s maybe late 70s. It's been called one of the worst Christmas songs in the world. Oh, okay. You'll you'll see why. I'm gonna play it for you. And we'll pause and take some little breaks and I'll read lyrics and we can discuss what you think. Okay, let's do it. Oh, I did forget to say the name which is important. The name is an old fashioned Christmas parentheses. Daddy's home. Yes by Linda Bennett. Okay, so basically what we have so far, it's a mother singing about how about her? Her and her kids are waiting further daddy to get home. They're gonna have a good old fashioned Christmas he's waiting for the bus to come home.

 

Speaker 3  5:09  

Is he gonna get hit by the bus? Not quite. Okay. Okay,

 

Unknown Speaker  5:15  

let's go to one die can watch and you wish. I mean bad things can still happen regardless what day it is. Okay?

 

Speaker 2  5:31  

I'm gonna put this in here just in case we can't play that much of the song. So we're having this nice little Christmas song. All those like the sound of brakes vehicle sliding, and then we have a news reporter oh my god watching your face experiences that was so fucking funny. It was.

 

Speaker 1  5:54  

I was like, okay, the fog switched up and they have fucking

 

Speaker 2  5:57  

chaos. Yeah. So a news reporter comes on and says we're sorry to interrupt this program. But a bulletin has just been handed to me. What has been a serious accident involving the number five bus out of New Haven. The only information we have is that the bus can a patch of ice and slammed into a tree. Stay tuned to this station for further details. And then a little boy comes on and says mommy isn't that the bus daddy rides each night. The mom's like, everything's fine don't worry about it. My

 

Speaker 1  6:36  

little kids not gonna know that his dad rights number five bus?

 

Unknown Speaker  6:39  

Yeah, let's continue. Okay, so a little recap here.

 

Speaker 1  6:47  

Got some selfish ask kids. Okay,

 

Speaker 2  6:50  

so we have another interruption from the news reporter on the radio. Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been handed the latest report and following the number five out a new heaven New Haven from all indications was sorry to report they were no survivors.

 

Unknown Speaker  7:10  

What a thing to toss on the Christmas song.

 

Speaker 2  7:11  

Yeah. And then we have the mom basically saying she's gonna fucking kill herself. Oh my god. This just can't happen. Walter. To do what? God love to live to look forward to. And then

 

Unknown Speaker  7:30  

the spoiled ass kids are like, what about me? What about me? He's gonna walk me down the aisle. Me toys.

 

Speaker 2  7:36  

daughter wants to mile son who's gonna buy me toys? Yeah, you're a little bit a little shithead. His mom and sister are having like an existential crisis. And he's like,

 

Unknown Speaker  7:51  

my present

 

Speaker 2  7:56  

Okay, we have a little wrap up to this.

 

Speaker 3  8:03  

It's not a go. He's alive. He missed a spice

 

Unknown Speaker  8:16  

Yeah, that's it.

 

Unknown Speaker  8:19  

WHAT A M Night Shyamalan twist.

 

Speaker 2  8:21  

So Daddy missed his bus. Turns out he's alive. The little boys gonna get his wish he's gonna get presents.

 

Speaker 1  8:29  

And there's still some time but girl could potentially still not have her father walk her down the aisle. One day.

 

Speaker 2  8:36  

That's true. What did you think of that song? Um,

 

Speaker 1  8:41  

it was a roller coaster of emotions. And I'm just very surprised someone wrote this, put it together had people record it do the instruments. They mixed it down and put it out there for the world. And none of those steps of the process they thought I maybe shouldn't do that.

 

Unknown Speaker  9:01  

Yeah

 

Speaker 1  9:08  

man, yeah, I never heard of that before. That's, I'm surprised I've just never heard it. I feel just kind of in shock.

 

Unknown Speaker  9:15  

Isn't it fucking insane?

 

Unknown Speaker  9:17  

There were no survivors. I don't and they're still happy

 

Speaker 3  9:26  

daddy's alive and I get my toy. Yeah, who cares? He's dead. Yeah, but Well,

 

Speaker 2  9:35  

I, the way I found it was a girl made a video and she was talking about how a family friend had made a CD for her family. And it was a compilation of like awful Christmas songs. Uh huh. And that was on there and I was like, Okay, I'll listen, but I feel like it's just gonna be a stupid song or maybe like shitty vocals. shitty instrumental and then I put it on and I happen to hurry that horn on the bus brake squealing I was like, Yes, this is so much better than I ever imagined.

 

Speaker 1  10:15  

I feel like, I feel like I would have enjoyed that song when I was a kid. I know it sounds weird, but there's just like so much going on. And it's almost like a mini movie. Yeah, it's just like, yeah,

 

Speaker 2  10:26  

it's very exciting. And like you said, M Night Shyamalan turns twists.

 

Speaker 1  10:31  

I feel like they might have been trying to push the bounds of things you do in music, maybe

 

Speaker 2  10:36  

experimental, but it was the 70s Yeah, a little.

 

Unknown Speaker  10:41  

Whoa, too weird for me.

 

Speaker 2  10:45  

Well, when I make you a mix CD, I'll leave that off, then.

 

Unknown Speaker  10:51  

Put it as a hidden track. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

 

Speaker 2  10:53  

you have to wait for like 15 minutes to hear it. I haven't thought about that a long time. Okay, well, I have another special Christmas thing for me.

 

Unknown Speaker  11:06  

I'm shaking my hands.

 

Speaker 2  11:10  

So I found this article on btw.

 

Unknown Speaker  11:15  

There is

 

Speaker 2  11:19  

a movie that just came out by Julio white as well. Beloved, beloved Urkel. Sorry, I didn't read the like woof. For you. I'm just excited. Yeah, it's my boy. Oh, when I saw this, I was like, Fuck, yeah. It's an animated movie. I haven't watched it yet. Hopefully I will today. It's called Urkel save Santa's movie. Oh, my God.

 

Speaker 1  11:44  

I'm gonna have fucking nail punctures on my hands. I'm squeezing them I'll add some air horns or something.

 

Speaker 2  11:53  

Oh my god. Yeah, I'm so fuckin pumped. So according to the description of the movie, The film follows Urkel who is a brilliant but accident prone super genius. And he only has one mission to make the holidays the best they can be for everyone. So sweet, but more specifically, Laura. Unfortunately, the holiday cheer takes a nosedive when he accidentally spoils a celebration. It is neighborhood shopping mall and embarrasses the department store. Santa's hoping to make things right Steve invents a device that helps people spread holiday cheer. But it only manages to make things worse. Using his brain and even bigger heart. It's up to Steve to help the city rediscover the holiday spirit. Hell yeah. Yeah. The only place that seems to be is Amazon. But I cannot wait to fucking watch it. Another fun thing before we talk about family matters and Eriko more. I feel like I had maybe read this before. It kind of sounds familiar. But Jaleel White has also launched a purple Urkel cannabis slime. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah. So I think all I want to do with my life now is just like move to a legal state and smoke purple Urkel weed and watch family matters.

 

Speaker 1  13:19  

That sounds like the why I want to do okay, I think I have to go home and pitch a new life goal to brand and I think we're down for that. Yeah, so this is like a new new movie like, like an old and now

 

Speaker 2  13:34  

it's released. It just came out on the 21st of November.

 

Speaker 3  13:38  

Okay. Like older July?

 

Speaker 2  13:43  

Um, we're like, No, I mean, it's like I guess they animated it.

 

Unknown Speaker  13:48  

Made it Okay. Okay.

 

Speaker 2  13:52  

Cool. Yes. Animated. Yeah, so I can't wait to hear him like, do his lyrical voice now that he's an adult. Yeah. Funny.

 

Speaker 1  14:02  

Yeah, wonder what Yeah, I wonder how different it does sound. But he did like age quite a lot throughout. Yeah, family matters. So I'm thinking too much. I'm thinking too much into family members. i Oh, nevermind. They can't also say that I want them to bring back what's her name? Not Laura. But his other chick he was friends

 

Speaker 2  14:29  

with I always want to say yeah, Mayra

 

Speaker 1  14:33  

but she died of like breast cancer or something like that. It's really sad even knew that. But I liked her more than more. So Yeah. Fuck it. Okay.

 

Speaker 2  14:42  

Yeah. Jamie started rewatching it a couple years ago. And then I just saw that you can stream family matters on HBO now. So I've been like, pounding through it. pounding through But oh my god, it's so funny. I loved it as a kid, but like watching it as an adult, it holds up even more like, I just sit there and fucking laugh like Jaleel White was like a comedic genius when he was 13 years old. And I

 

Speaker 1  15:17  

love Harriet. Harriet, she's like, when I have kids, I'm gonna be like, alright, you watch this and you'd be like her. Okay.

 

Speaker 2  15:27  

So good, so highly recommend watching that. I need to find the Christmas episodes and just watch them all together.

 

Speaker 1  15:34  

Yeah, some of our Ark suite like there's one where Laura? Like, they have boxes of stuff that they're gonna donate, get rid of, or whatever and keep. And then Edie accidentally puts her old childhood doll in the trash pile. And then it goes to the dump. Oh, and then Burkle goes and finds it for her from the dump. And, yeah,

 

Unknown Speaker  15:58  

he somehow destroys the dome.

 

Speaker 1  16:02  

catches it on fire. But yeah, family matters. It's good. We usually watch that or another show called hardcore pawn. Not hardcore porn. It's just a it's a pawn shop that's down Detroit's eight mile plays the biggest and baddest pawn shop. So yeah, that's a good Yeah, I

 

Unknown Speaker  16:28  

like that one, too.

 

Speaker 1  16:29  

I love that show. Um, so if we're, if we're done talking about earthly things, um, I have another I have a thing to talk about. Oh, yes, please do. Um,

 

Unknown Speaker  16:44  

I'll try to focus on just thinking about

 

Speaker 1  16:49  

this, this next person might be able to be a little Ercole.

 

Unknown Speaker  16:58  

Travis,

 

Speaker 1  17:01  

and she loves Christmas. We're talking about Jodi Arias. Oh, actually, everyone just knew her. Yeah. This is a wrestling show everyone boo this lady.

 

Unknown Speaker  17:14  

You're not Seaver?

 

Speaker 1  17:17  

She's the anti Erco. But yeah, for those who aren't familiar with the Jodi Arias story, I'm not gonna go into it. But there's just like a lot of stuff in it. But long story short, she was basically like a stalker girlfriend person that murdered her boyfriend. Travis Alexander. Rip, Travis. Sorry. You had to deal with such a crazy bitch. Seriously. And yeah, if you're interested in the story, tons of documentaries, podcasts, whatever, cover it and go into depth about you know, the butthole pics and everything.

 

Speaker 2  17:56  

coupole loophole. They were super into that rule. Yeah,

 

Speaker 1  18:00  

cuz they, they were Mormon know what it was. And she was trying to convert so she could get more of that dick.

 

Speaker 2  18:07  

But she was still like, I can't give it up. We gotta poop Oh loophole for a little bit. And

 

Speaker 1  18:13  

I think they both did an MLM too. But yeah. Yeah, I was like I mentioned. Yeah. Romantic. Oh, and I keep thinking when I was like reading about this, because I keep watching that one chick that does the Kardashian videos. She's like trash. So legend has it that Jodi Arias snuck into Travis's house and fell asleep underneath his Christmas tree. So there was a doggie door.

 

Unknown Speaker  18:49  

We were she pretending to be a cat. Maybe that's all it was just

 

Unknown Speaker  18:54  

something weird. It's a

 

Unknown Speaker  18:56  

normal thing. Jodi Lynn,

 

Speaker 1  18:58  

but she didn't break it. So she's professional. Yes. So yeah, there he had a sliding door with a doggie door in it. And she would sneak through there sometimes and nap on the couch and stuff. And then some of his friends reported but he told them that he found her sleeping underneath his Christmas tree. Like a nice little president. You know, just get home and there's a woman under your tree Kupo loophole president. You want this butthole? Yeah, I was still trying to find like the transcripts and stuff from the court case, just trying to find maybe where they were exactly talking about that and stuff. I was I did not want to download PDFs from different websites because I was like, trust that. Yeah. But I did find a little transcript from nicey nicey Nancy Grace's coverage of it.

 

Speaker 2  19:53  

On CNN, she saw on TV. Do you remember?

 

Speaker 1  19:56  

I don't think she's on TV but I know she has a PA I'd cast now, I haven't Oh my gosh.

 

Speaker 2  20:03  

I just remember the whole fucking Casey Anthony trial. Talk mom.

 

Speaker 1  20:08  

God, Tom. hot mom, Casey Anthony. She

 

Speaker 2  20:13  

really did she Yes, she was so annoying. Baby. She's a good person. I don't actually know. But I just hate her because of the top mom thing. Yeah, God so much.

 

Speaker 1  20:24  

Did you see the video where she was talking to this one guy, his like son was missing. And they were interviewing him on TV. And she was like, Oh, we have reports that your son was just found in your basement. And he was like,

 

Unknown Speaker  20:40  

oh, what? And

 

Speaker 1  20:41  

so? Well, yeah, that was a crazy moment. I'll have to share that with you later. Yeah. But yeah, that was real embarrassing for that guy and set very tough day. So this was just like a short little clip from that because she was talking and then they were playing clips with a trial. So Nancy Grace, says, Martinez tearing up courtroom take listen to closing arguments. And then they started a video clip. And Martinez says back on May 19, and 2008. He indicates that quote, I am extremely afraid of the defendant because of her stalking behavior. And who wouldn't know better than him, especially since he is the one who that's had to deal with her coming over peeping in his window. He's the only one that had to deal with her showing up unannounced. He is the one that's had problems or damage to his car, according to Lisa Andrews, and he is the one that has her underneath the Christmas tree. And has had Ring a ring stolen by her. Oh. So I didn't like dig a shit ton into that. But that was like the only like little thing I could find when I was trying to research and not download potentially virus.

 

Speaker 2  22:04  

PDF or so this was his roommate that they're talking to.

 

Speaker 1  22:08  

Mark. Oh, this was sorry. That's I think it's like Josh Martinez. It was the the trial lawyer the the prosecutor. Okay, gotcha. The prosecutor was talking about it. So that's all I could really find like in like the, the documents and stuff, kind of like quoting from a trial that mentioned the Christmas tree. I saw another thing that said, there's another woman in the trial Mimi, that was a witness. Someone said that she talked about it, but I was trying to look a little through her testimony. And I don't think I had the full thing. But anyway, I was trying way too hard to find more information about what exactly happened. But I did write a little poem. Oh, is it a hike? You know, it's not a hike. It's to the theme of Twas the Night Before Christmas. Oh,

 

Unknown Speaker  23:02  

oh, magical. Okay,

 

Speaker 1  23:04  

it's very short. It's like six lines. So I'll read through it. Just let me know what you think. Twas the Night Before Christmas when all through the home. Jody was stalking at tribes all alone. She She climbed through the doggie door with care and hopes that Travis soon would be there. Jody got nestled in all snug under the tree with visions of sugar plums dancing with glee. And Jody laying there giving absolutely no crap. She settled her brain for a long winter's nap.

 

Unknown Speaker  23:36  

I love it.

 

Unknown Speaker  23:38  

Thank you. Thank you, teacher, I

 

Unknown Speaker  23:40  

would give you an A plus plus.

 

Speaker 1  23:42  

Yay. Thank you for that a plus. plus,

 

Unknown Speaker  23:47  

plus, plus plus really was great.

 

Speaker 1  23:49  

Hey, what can I say? And I did also Photoshop a picture of Jodi Arias peeking from behind a Christmas tree a very long time ago. So if I find that we will post that on the gram. So keep your eye out. I also found a little website. Sorry, it feels hard to say because it's it's so stupid. It's called www dot Jodi Arias is innocent.com. And well, it's just all these kinds of like blogs and status updates from somebody who's like supporting her or I guess a group because I scrolled past Um, one thing that I think it said that they wrote, raised like 90 something $1,000 to like help with her defense and free trials and stuff. Yeah. I was like, Who the fuck is supporting her this much? But she also sells art on there. People help her sell her art and There's pictures of her. And I looked at those and it's just, there's no like, I don't think there's any like current prison pictures, but it was all like old like, super hot pictures.

 

Speaker 2  25:12  

Does it? Is any of her art currently on there? Like, I want to know what she draws? Yeah, it is. It's

 

Speaker 1  25:17  

just like, it's kind of boring to be honest. Makes

 

Unknown Speaker  25:21  

sense. Just like

 

Speaker 1  25:25  

kind of like of people. And buttholes Yeah. butthole on a butthole I'll pull it up. And it's sorry. I'm sorry. The art is sold at an art by Jodi arias.com. But there's a link on the site there on

 

Speaker 2  25:42  

Jodi Arias is msn.com. Yes. Okay. To Jodi Arias. Art by Jodi Arias here. I'll

 

Unknown Speaker  25:49  

show you. I'm

 

Speaker 2  25:51  

gonna be honest, this was way more skilled than I thought it was gonna be. I'm actually dare I say? Slightly impressed. Um, I mean, she's a bitch. So I'm not impressed. But it's more skill than I thought. I thought it was gonna be like, Yeah, I

 

Speaker 1  26:13  

mean, it's not like complete garbage. But I don't think her people drawing skills. I wouldn't pay for her portraits of people. Yeah, if I just saw it on the street, for sure. I would never give this much money. I was

 

Speaker 2  26:26  

kind of thinking that it was gonna be like this pictures that Demi Lovato drew like her alien. That's kind of what I pictured. I don't know why.

 

Speaker 1  26:37  

Those are funny. And I don't think it was her children. It was this lady she was talking to you. And that lady had like, painted portraits of all her alien baby.

 

Speaker 2  26:47  

I don't know why. That's what popped into my head. So I was very surprised by those

 

Speaker 1  26:53  

leaves, you're gonna be surprised to you can go to art by Jodi arias.com. But this website does a Christmas update every year. And nothing really like interesting on those updates. It's just like, hey, it's around Christmas time. What's his what's going on with the trial? And then it looks like they are not trial, you know, God. And then the past two years. It seems like they got a little message from God. 2021 wasn't very interesting. She was just like, Oh, what am I gonna do with my, like, New Year's resolutions? And it wasn't it was not interesting. Um, but here's the message from last year 2022. I'm gonna try to do it. Like, kind of in her voice. I'm not saying I can do her voice. But every time I hear her hear her talk, it seems small. Like she talks kind of small and innocent sounding. This is a message from Jodi the happiest season of all. One thing SJ and I wholeheartedly agree on this is the best time of the year. The holiday experience varies for the woman at Perryville. But most are in a better mood enjoying the cooler Sonora desert, and loading up on Christmas commissary items. To prevent anyone from harshing my own holiday cheer. I adopt a zero tolerance policy for anyone exhibiting drama rudeness, disrespect, pick a noun, like fuck the writer and yeah, I know. I'm like, pretty rude as if you're fucking rude. They're all banned. People are free to behave how they want, but those in my circle exhibiting such traits are banished until after the New Year. Shut up murder. I simply declined to entertain their negativity this time is too fleeting to let slip by while being distracted by muttering mouth. Contents. You got me there Jody. I don't know that word.

 

Unknown Speaker  29:10  

Your mouth can't Jody.

 

Unknown Speaker  29:17  

Little bit of a long letter, but we'll keep going.

 

Speaker 1  29:21  

My last roommate was a Christian fundamentalist. of some kind who didn't celebrate Christmas because of the holidays pagan beginnings at that pagan beginnings. Yes, but I've read Dan Brown novels. That's the guy that wrote Oh, yeah.

 

Unknown Speaker  29:37  

Davinci Cambodia.

 

Speaker 1  29:39  

So what? Give me some sparkling ornaments and shimmery plastic tinsel and put it to the nearest fake evergreen and I'll show you a decorated tree.

 

Speaker 2  29:49  

Okay, so even Jody likes a fake tree. Yeah, so

 

Speaker 1  29:52  

see, yeah, everyone supports the fake tree. Really though, I love every Things secular about Christmas. I appreciate fancy marketing and free enterprise Shut up. I feel the same.

 

Unknown Speaker  30:11  

I know like you're a killer like she

 

Speaker 1  30:13  

lives on a Hallmark movie. It's so weird. It's like some some guys just gonna like come out of jail or come to visit or a jail and be like, God, you don't belong here. Let's go decorate the Christmas tree service

 

Unknown Speaker  30:24  

Christmas cactus desert.

 

Speaker 1  30:28  

Let's go far away from here. I enjoy walking into a mall draped in Garland and twinkling with lights while thinks Yuletide Carols waft through speakers on scene. I miss entertaining Michaels with its holiday craft supplies and Christmas fluff strewn about. We're seeing a barista decked in a Santa hat while he or she makes my favorite hot drinks. While bitch you're not gonna see that ever again, fuck you. And I just kind of like no she's like, I like to see them make that for me. Yeah. Post Halloween, many obnoxious TV commercials are recast and warmth with their pleasant holiday jingles. Cheesy Hallmark movies inspired daydreams of a brighter future. Even a Golden State Warriors have tipped off every Christmas day since I became an avid fan of them several years ago. The merriment is everywhere. This morning while cleaning my room, I listened to Christmas music instead of my usual coffee break German podcast

 

Unknown Speaker  31:40  

I love how you keep giggling

 

Speaker 1  31:45  

I love holiday tunes. And I confess, sometimes I jam to them in the middle of June. So quirky God

 

Unknown Speaker  31:56  

I hate Christmas music in general.

 

Unknown Speaker  32:03  

It's under low Daddy.

 

Speaker 2  32:04  

Oh my gosh. It'd be like cool people die. Actually, that's kind of what you said. Oh my god. I'm sure I'm gonna sneak through a doggie door and kill me. Jamie Lynn,

 

Speaker 1  32:17  

you have a doggy for her. You should really get one for Georgina to come in and out.

 

Unknown Speaker  32:27  

I'm

 

Speaker 1  32:29  

off season I also enjoy rewatching Jim Kerry's brilliant and hilarious interpretation of the Grinch. I am aware that not everyone shares my rosy views about the season. Which like I just got like just a little cringe chill up my back and had to like oh,

 

Unknown Speaker  32:50  

okay, murder.

 

Speaker 1  32:53  

And their reasons are valid. Hey, I've been through some crap to Santa content. But if it were I take home the bronze medal.

 

Unknown Speaker  33:07  

I fucking hate.

 

Speaker 1  33:10  

Oh, it makes me want to just stab forks in my eyes. My cheer is not forced or false. It is intentional. These cooler desert days are a limited resource within my finite life. Each year, they are gone too soon. I do not waste them. May you also find joy during the season? Your life is good. Go appreciate it. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy holidays. Happy merry everything. Love Jodi Arias.

 

Unknown Speaker  33:47  

Oh, yeah. How'd you like that?

 

Unknown Speaker  33:51  

I know. It was a little long, but I

 

Speaker 2  33:53  

appreciate your reading. When saying to shut up I meant to God not you.

 

Speaker 1  33:59  

Oh, yeah. No. Like you said that every time I felt like rolling my eyes. It was like perfect.

 

Speaker 2  34:06  

Oh, just the thing about no negative people. I'm like, You're fucking killer. Yeah,

 

Unknown Speaker  34:11  

did

 

Speaker 1  34:12  

you fucking kill a guy that doesn't want to date you and sexy?

 

Unknown Speaker  34:16  

Fucking butthole.

 

Speaker 1  34:19  

Man, want to keep bringing up the butthole because she's had butthole pics. Not only did they do butt stuff, but yeah, she had a lot of butthole pics too. But sorry, go ahead.

 

Speaker 2  34:29  

Do you think that Jodi is gay for the stay or that's she's too religious gay for the stay? That's what they say when you become when you do like El presidente? Six. Yeah, when you're like, like if she would like fuck women in prison just because like, you know that you're not really around, man. So okay,

 

Speaker 1  34:50  

I never heard that. Yeah, I think she probably would. And

 

Unknown Speaker  34:56  

I feel like she'd be too stuck up and snobby.

 

Speaker 1  34:59  

Oh yeah, I could see that she's like, gay people

 

Speaker 2  35:03  

are beneath me, even though I'm a murderer and a fake Christian,

 

Unknown Speaker  35:06  

indeed, but stuff anyway.

 

Unknown Speaker  35:09  

Um, I don't know.

 

Speaker 1  35:11  

I I agree with your point that I feel like she would be too stuck up. But I feel like too if she met like the right person that was like up her butt. You know, she'd be like, this isn't gay. Yeah,

 

Speaker 2  35:23  

I could see that. Yeah, if somebody was like Jody, you were you were wrong to like, you shouldn't be in here. Yeah. Well, that's a good point. leave you in. You're

 

Speaker 1  35:32  

so pretty and religious. I don't know. I'm trying to think of what she would like as a compliment.

 

Speaker 2  35:37  

I agree with the fact that Jodi Arias is innocent, calm. I agree that it exists. why it exists.

 

Speaker 1  35:44  

It is so weird. Like I didn't read like all the stuff because I was just kind of skimming it looking for Christmas things but I'm just a fair warning. If you decide to go to that website, and scroll through it and stuff. You will see like pictures of Travis's dead body wash. Yeah. It's not like behind any kind of click here to see this. It's not blurred or, or anything. Like I was just kind of scrolling through and it's just, you know, stuff like this, like little Christmas announcement. And then it's like, boom, like, Dead Body Book camera in the washer. And then like, boom, yeah. So it's just like, a lot.

 

Speaker 2  36:22  

My mouse was hanging open the whole time. Jamie was talking like, who does they think? Did it? Did they go into that?

 

Speaker 1  36:32  

So I didn't, I honestly don't really care to like really be like, Who do they think? Or what do they think is going on? But yeah, they basically it kind of just seems like they think that there was you know, like a lot of planted evidence or cops, you know, mess stuff up to just pinch good Christian

 

Speaker 2  36:51  

woman was praying. That's insane. That really did shock me about just like having pictures of the dead body on there. Ya

 

Speaker 1  37:02  

know, it shocked me too. I wasn't expecting it. Because I was just scrolling. And that was like, boom, right there. And I'm like, alright, that's great to see. That's, like

 

Speaker 2  37:11  

a pretty gruesome scene to write. Yeah, pretty messy.

 

Speaker 1  37:17  

He's like, folded, kind of folded up and like the little stand up shower. So he's just kind of like collapsed in the bottom of it. And pretty bruised up. I didn't like look for the stab marks or whatever. Because I just kept scrolling. I was like, Well, yeah, I don't want to see that right now. But yeah, just fair warning. If you do that, you probably will will see that. Whoa,

 

Speaker 2  37:41  

that is so fucking wild.

 

Speaker 1  37:44  

It's crazy to me too. Because when you go to the homepage, the homepage starts with just like, whatever they're, like 1010 news blogs or whatever. And so like, Those pictures were on the front page at some point. So weird to think about. Wow.

 

Speaker 2  38:03  

So I know. You said you didn't really like look at that stuff that much. But other than the Christmas update, does it seem like the website gets updated that often? Or could you tell? Okay, so it's like once a week, there's new shit or maybe

 

Speaker 1  38:19  

a lot less frequently than that. Oh, I don't know if it was like monthly, but it's like a few times a year. Yeah. That's so yeah, I heard so far after it to you like and I think on the website, this Christmas announcement they said was their 10th anniversary. I didn't look at the dates. So I didn't get if that was the 10th anniversary of like God getting arrested being in prison being sentenced or them starting that website. But yeah, that is

 

Unknown Speaker  38:49  

fucking insane.

 

Speaker 3  38:53  

Yeah, I don't really know why. So many people would think she's innocent, but okay. Oh, wow.

 

Unknown Speaker  39:01  

I'm truly shocked.

 

Speaker 1  39:05  

She has another skilled low. Oh, um, she likes to sing. Oh, and for one year for Christmas contest. The jail held like a karaoke contest. And the prize for winning the karaoke contests was a Christmas dinner of Turkey mashed potatoes and a cookie. And, you know, who won? It was noni was Jody, and she won with her cover, I guess you could say, of Oh, holy night. And I will play that for you guys. When we wrap up the show, which I guess we can do now.

 

Unknown Speaker  39:58  

Oh my gosh.

 

Speaker 1  39:59  

I knew it was crazy fat heads. That was crazy. But we made it through

 

Speaker 2  40:05  

episode has been a roller coaster of emotions. Yeah, like someone

 

Speaker 1  40:10  

almost dying someone who killed someone.

 

Speaker 2  40:14  

A bus full of dead people. Yeah. Yeah, it was nice to have Urkel in there to give it a low positivity. Yeah. What? What?

 

Speaker 1  40:23  

Let's end it with some Urkel holiday cheer. But I guess it will be followed up by God singing so it doesn't matter. Do

 

Speaker 2  40:30  

you have a favorite accident the Urkel call cause that comes to mind.

 

Unknown Speaker  40:38  

Um,

 

Speaker 1  40:40  

I like when he messes up the his hair collection. So he makes a I got to that one. Yeah, like the cloning machine or whatever. Yeah, or the transform machine where he can become a cow. And he had gotten, he had a collection of hair samples. So let's wear like Jackie Chan and stuff comes from and then he accidentally like, put the Elvis hair in there because it was mixed up with like some smart person. Albert Einstein, I think, is Albert. Einstein here got mixed up with Elvis, and then a college recruiter came to talk to him. And yeah, but my favorite quote is Laura was telling him to like cry on the inside or whatever. And then he was like, but if I do that, then they'll get moldy.

 

Unknown Speaker  41:35  

Oh,

 

Unknown Speaker  41:36  

how about you?

 

Speaker 2  41:37  

Um, I'm not all that far into my rewatch, and probably on like season three, but the one that comes to mind. I do remember why this happened. But Laura ended up agreeing to go on a date with him. And they go to this French restaurant, and that's a really nice restaurant. And he ends up just causing utter chaos like the tablecloth. Yeah. And somehow into, like texting his pants, and then he gets up. So everything really table goes on the floor. And then like he ends up like tripping over a waiters cart. And then he's like, trying to pick it up and people are falling over him. And he just destroys the whole restaurant. And it's amazing.

 

Unknown Speaker  42:30  

Typical Urkel fashion.

 

Speaker 2  42:34  

As someone who's clumsy, I think maybe that's why I like him so much, because I'm like,

 

Unknown Speaker  42:39  

I'm not alone. I watched it so many times. I'm like,

 

Unknown Speaker  42:43  

I really

 

Unknown Speaker  42:47  

just a little Urkel.

 

Unknown Speaker  42:49  

Mios Um, well, Happy Holiday fat heads.

 

Speaker 1  42:54  

And hope you guys have a good safe end of your year. And without any further ado, I guess we will close you out with a little little Jodi Arias song how peaceful Have you have a good time goodbye

 

Speaker 4  43:18  

Oh, holy night the stars are brightly shining is of our dear saviors for a long way her world and Satan era pa pi 10 He appeared and this all sounds it's a thrill love hoe the weary world rejoices for yonder breaks and new inglorious morn on your knee oh he says diva when Christ was born d o nine

 

Unknown Speaker  44:51  

and me

 

Unknown Speaker  44:56  

have been holding your candle

 

Unknown Speaker  44:58  

I don't have to

 

Unknown Speaker  45:02  

Kids look out

 

Unknown Speaker  45:18  

why

 

Unknown Speaker  45:30  

I'm gonna kill myself