Dive into a little sultry cringe of romance novels with Alyssa & Jamie. From some silly saucy lines to some AI generated shorts Jamie drafted!
Dive into a little sultry cringe of romance novels with Alyssa & Jamie. From some silly saucy lines to some AI generated shorts Jamie drafted!
Join the ladies for some cringey romance novel lines and some of the synopses of the books in the series “The Buckhorn Ranch” by Laura Marie Altom. They ladies give them all a boner scale rating. Jamie shares some AI generated romance noveling she was dabbling with. Alyssa closes the episode out with some Danielle Steel talk.
Write us some of your cringe stories at [nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com](mailto:nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com)
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
I went to the dentist last week and it was the dentist and then like a hygienist or somebody that was going to be helping her. And they were going to do that thing where they poke your gums and like say the different numbers for the blood and, or to see if it's bleeding. I was
Unknown Speaker 0:20
like they see I like sensitive it is and if it like bleeds, slip, it bleeds. It's like, you need to try. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 0:30
I'm not a dental hygienist. Sorry. Go on.
Unknown Speaker 0:34
And the dentist was talking to the hygienist, which I didn't realize and she's like, Okay, are you ready? And I was like, yeah, and then they laugh because she wasn't fucking talking to me.
Unknown Speaker 1:06
Reminds me of like a cheerleader like, ready? Okay. Yeah, like, let's poke my gums. Just like shut up. If I were talking to you. Did they say anything? Or just
Unknown Speaker 1:19
realized? Yeah, same time. Yeah, too. It was like, Oh, I'm an idiot.
Unknown Speaker 1:24
But I'm also ready. Yeah. Um,
Unknown Speaker 1:28
yeah, we were at Trader Joe's. A couple of weeks ago. And then, um, the, we were starting to buy her stuff. And someone came around to like, help back or stuff. And they were like, Oh, how are you doing? And then I was like, oh, yeah, I'm doing good. Just getting off work. And then I was like, Oh, were you talking to him? And I was pointing to like, his coworker because I was like, oh, you know, maybe they just came up to have her chit chat. And I'm just like, inserting myself into it.
Unknown Speaker 1:54
Um, but no, he was talking to me. And it was totally fine. And he was very nice. Trader Joe's people are always so nice. Yeah. I'm kind of wondering if they're just high all the time, which I'm totally fine with because they're really nice. Like, I just need to check out I don't need them to like do anything. Yeah, crazy. So I'm totally okay with it. But yeah, I generally enjoy the Trader Joe's employees as well. Me too.
Unknown Speaker 2:20
And speaking of Trader Joe's employees, were employed by nervous laughter podcast employed.
Unknown Speaker 2:32
In our drums, it's a negative $15 a month.
Unknown Speaker 2:39
Job was no paid.
Unknown Speaker 2:44
I'm Jamie. And I'm Alyssa. And maybe you will have a Patreon that can cover some of that. hosting fee costs. I don't know. It's okay. I'm having fun. Yeah, definitely. Um, we're both we're both entrepreneurs. Just like, you mean want your printers?
Unknown Speaker 3:04
Oh, it's not a diss to us. Like we want to be entrepreneurs. Yeah, but we're like not doing a good job.
Unknown Speaker 3:12
It always takes like years to turn profit. Yeah, I'm just just dogging on us. It's okay.
Unknown Speaker 3:20
Um,
Unknown Speaker 3:22
and speaking of turning a profit, you know what else turns a profit? What romance novel? Oh, yeah. Six cells. Oh, ooh. And it also turns a boner. Yeah. Turn up those Boehner
Unknown Speaker 3:40
turn up your Boehner dial from zero to 10 Nervous laughter podcast turn your lighting down from 10 to I don't know maybe a 543 20 420 Yeah, okay. Three to six but then we're okay.
Unknown Speaker 3:56
Um, and for all I can think of is like grabbing snacks but you know might not need a snack
Unknown Speaker 4:05
is a
Unknown Speaker 4:08
gesture to that tub of Vaseline
Unknown Speaker 4:15
like yeah, get your
Unknown Speaker 4:18
it's only a small tone to talk makes me think it's like a gallon size bag. Don't let her lie to you. I keep it by my does. I'm
Unknown Speaker 4:29
trying to use this instead of chapstick because I'm so badly addicted to chapstick that
Unknown Speaker 4:35
I'm trying the Vaseline right so she has an industrial
Unknown Speaker 4:42
now I needed a purse big enough to fit it.
Unknown Speaker 4:46
Um, and also in my purse is a romance novel. Oh six. Oh, that was not a good transition. But um, it was it turned my boner dial up to
Unknown Speaker 5:00
like a six. Oh, thank you.
Unknown Speaker 5:03
So Alyssa mentioned to me earlier this week that she had like a romance novel thing to talk about. So she's like, cool. Let me just get some random romance novel things together. And I forgot that I said that.
Unknown Speaker 5:20
So Jamie has most of the stuff and I just have a little bit. It's
Unknown Speaker 5:26
um, I didn't mean to put you on the spot.
Unknown Speaker 5:30
I'm talking about romance. And my boner dials down three now.
Unknown Speaker 5:35
I'm so the first thing I want to talk about. It's just a Reddit post. I found its lines that made you cringe and Romi Oh, no, it's gonna be bad. So they said okay. Wait, so hold on. Where's the name? Oh. So the heart of an artichoke posted in our slash romance books.
Unknown Speaker 5:57
Okay, so I just read this quote, abs packed together like six shiny apples in a gift box.
Unknown Speaker 6:07
Okay, quote, am I burst out laughing. Anyone else have a particularly funny or cringe turn of phrase? Please don't name the book. This isn't to be mean. Should we do like a boner dial rating on each of these? Oh, that's yeah, like how Yeah, how
Unknown Speaker 6:28
hard I get
Unknown Speaker 6:30
on that one. I'm just gonna say a two because I don't really want to be thinking about apples. It's a fruit like bananas anything? Yeah, I don't understand comparing it to like, your abs to like, apples and why the fuck are they in a gift bag or whatever?
Unknown Speaker 6:50
So so there's not like tons of responses on this post but this one person. Serafin the pink
Unknown Speaker 7:00
sorry, that weird saris in a pink I think it's okay. Serafina pink.
Unknown Speaker 7:10
So, underneath their name it says south of slut, but North of school teacher. Oh, interesting. Okay, so that's cool. But anyway, it sounds like they probably have read quite a bit of romance novels. Here's some of their favorite lines.
Unknown Speaker 7:26
His eyes are green. Have I noticed that before? I always thought they were blue or maybe Hazel. But they're more like, your eyes are like guacamole. I whisper.
Unknown Speaker 7:38
No way. Is that real? I mean, they didn't like, quote the books and I don't know, but I'm gonna give that a negative 10 on the Boehner scale. What about you? I don't think you did your Boehner scale for last for the last one. Um, so first of all I want to say is I only GWAC eyes for you. I think that's a good pun for that.
Unknown Speaker 8:01
Boehner skill for the first one. The ABS pack together like six shiny apples in a gift box. I'm gonna give that like a one.
Unknown Speaker 8:10
Um, this one.
Unknown Speaker 8:15
The guacamole tie in layer.
Unknown Speaker 8:18
Not a big fan of it. I think I'm gonna say like a two or three. Oh, sorry. I'm not gonna negative like you. But you know, I just I like that the I talk? I guess. Like your eyes. They're beautiful.
Unknown Speaker 8:31
I guess but I don't know. First of all, when people talk about eyes, it's just giving me like, fuckin fedora. Milady vibes. I don't know why I can see that in like, if your eyes are green. They're not the color of Glock. So it's also not accurate.
Unknown Speaker 8:52
Give it give it a negative Boehner skill. So it's more of like the writing. Yeah, okay. I don't like it.
Unknown Speaker 9:00
Why Alyssa, you're not allowed to? Like
Unknown Speaker 9:04
I'm not romantic. That's why
Unknown Speaker 9:10
I like this one. My brain is officially fried because breasts
Unknown Speaker 9:17
10
Unknown Speaker 9:20
Give it a 10 I feel like that would also work with butts. Yeah, instead of breast. Yeah. Maybe anything? Yeah. Anything you're attracted to just swap it?
Unknown Speaker 9:35
What was the first part? My brain is officially fried because today
Unknown Speaker 9:43
do you brand new
Unknown Speaker 9:47
this other one? She wants told me that there were four independent sentient beings in our relationship. Her me her hair. Or me her hair and
Unknown Speaker 10:00
My eyes
Unknown Speaker 10:01
I negative 25 Yeah, I'm gonna negative I don't
Unknown Speaker 10:07
it makes me think of them in the office when it's like you meet me you you meet you meet me you I hate it
Unknown Speaker 10:17
um, and it also makes me think of the meme for some reason with like the lashes and like the nails and it's like it's just me and her and her hair and I don't
Unknown Speaker 10:29
Oh, it's just like
Unknown Speaker 10:31
it's just like a
Unknown Speaker 10:33
I guess I want to say like, Hey Girl kind of thing, but it has like, the really long nails and like the eyes with the super long lashes and then like the big like, done up shiny lips and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 10:45
And
Unknown Speaker 10:49
smart girl set rules. Condoms must be worn before the train can enter the tunnel. No. So okay, sorry. This is like two different people talking. So let me let you do voices. Smart girl set rules. Condoms must be one before the train can enter the tunnel. No.
Unknown Speaker 11:13
Foreplay is unnecessary before the bear can enter the cave. Please stop. Guys. This is so uncomfortable to read. You're doing great
Unknown Speaker 11:25
kissing before the submarine enters the sea. I'm going to leave now. I stood and grabbed my purse from the armchair. I'll call you or I'll call you. Cakes aren't the only things that need to be moist. Ah, no. Which way that was supposed to be read. But yeah, no, I don't like any of that.
Unknown Speaker 11:45
I guess I'm gonna give it like she doesn't sound like she's enjoying it.
Unknown Speaker 11:52
So I guess I'm gonna give it a two for that reason. But I do think that safe sex is very important. So it will still give it a two since he talks about condoms. Yeah, I think I'm really give it like a one. I just feel uncomfortable in that situation. Yeah, situation what's going on to so that's true. So I'm sure some of our listeners would give that a negative just for moist.
Unknown Speaker 12:17
It makes me wonder if this was some type of a
Unknown Speaker 12:21
romance novel with like a baking aspect.
Unknown Speaker 12:25
Anything that need to be moist that makes sense. So you know maybe they were back there like squirting the cake with the moist singing flavor stuff voice the nastiest
Unknown Speaker 12:36
I've ever heard like frosting.
Unknown Speaker 12:40
Not frosting like they have that stuff in the bottle that the like spray like they sprayed on there and then they put like the other layer of cake on it. That is like sprayed on there. And
Unknown Speaker 12:51
I swear I've seen it on cooking shows. I've watched so many people bake cakes.
Unknown Speaker 12:59
If you know what that technique is not a smile.
Unknown Speaker 13:02
But yeah, I give that like a Yeah, one or zero actually.
Unknown Speaker 13:08
The next one. I'm commando underwears mostly useless. My balls like to be free not confined by material.
Unknown Speaker 13:19
cut loose
Unknown Speaker 13:28
Okay, the first little bit I was like, okay, that's fine. But then since it was a guy saying it I was like no fucking thanks.
Unknown Speaker 13:37
I'm Commander.
Unknown Speaker 13:39
Um, I mean, guys, being commander was fine. I guess I just imagined this being a creepy guy talking about Commando, so
Unknown Speaker 13:50
I guess I'm gonna give it like a four.
Unknown Speaker 13:54
Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 13:57
think I got a side with you on the four. It's just like it's not really doing anything for me. But it's not making making me go into the negative space unless something super creepy.
Unknown Speaker 14:10
And I felt like he gets a four because I kind of felt like it's going that way. Yeah. Like I feel like he's one of the guys that put like a mirror on their shoe. And like
Unknown Speaker 14:24
all that from this like one line of our romance novel that I had to have no more.
Unknown Speaker 14:28
I hope she's Commando.
Unknown Speaker 14:31
Have you ever gone commando in public before? Yeah. Yeah, I used to just be like, Oh, I don't really like underwear, but not like in a sexy way. Just say you were like a frequent turkey. Yeah. Okay. It was a frequent flyer. But then at some point, I was like, You know what I do like underwear. Yeah. So I went back on Team underwear, just in case.
Unknown Speaker 14:54
I think I've only gone commando on public like once or twice, just like when I didn't have
Unknown Speaker 15:00
clean underwear, but I've always been scared too because I'm like, that's the time that like, I don't wear underwear like my pants are gonna get like stuck like in a shopping cart
Unknown Speaker 15:14
is gonna fall down and then people are like, Why didn't you wear underwear and then I'm gonna be like,
Unknown Speaker 15:21
I need pants
Unknown Speaker 15:27
Yeah, so that's why I don't like to go
Unknown Speaker 15:32
the next quote is the world went cotton candy colored was glitter and rainbow as I dry humped him to victory. I was so what I worried about long term damage to his mattress. It was like the rainy season in Costa Rica down there
Unknown Speaker 15:52
25
Unknown Speaker 15:58
Jamie's
Unknown Speaker 16:00
just all of those great yeah, I like this one.
Unknown Speaker 16:05
Yeah, I'm gonna 1010 out of 10
Unknown Speaker 16:09
like those rainbows and sparkles, yeah, calm being the glitter. Rainbows dry humping. Yeah, Costa Rica. It's all great, but this dry humping apparently got really wet. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. It was not dry. Yeah, not dry at all. Like Costa Rica. I really liked that too. Like the rainy season in Costa Rica. Like, like I always say, like down there. Like just me. Yeah, I feel like you don't even have to say down
Unknown Speaker 16:38
right? But it just sounds like sounds like fanfiction or like more like a kid wrote it that's the best one by far it's down down there my friend but
Unknown Speaker 16:55
touched my friend but throbbing from
Unknown Speaker 17:03
next one.
Unknown Speaker 17:05
Instead, a backbeat starts up in my clit percussion
Unknown Speaker 17:12
was already okay. Like a DJ made a home in my underwear in my vaginas were all his base resides
Unknown Speaker 17:25
your invite invited to a party in my underwear
Unknown Speaker 17:31
Oh, zero out of 10 but also 1000 out of 10
Unknown Speaker 17:37
I have no idea. I think I'm gonna give it like I don't know maybe like a five. Cuz
Unknown Speaker 17:46
that's a little too silly. Yeah, it's a little too silly. I feel like the music kind of vibe is a little cheesy, but I could maybe see this working in like a you know, like a ravers romance novel or?
Unknown Speaker 18:02
Like
Unknown Speaker 18:06
I like the part about the DJ
Unknown Speaker 18:09
a DJ made a home in my underwear in Costa Rica
Unknown Speaker 18:15
in the wet season, the rainy season
Unknown Speaker 18:20
in the last one posted by this Sara Finn Serafina pink
Unknown Speaker 18:29
Are you ready?
Unknown Speaker 18:32
I'm not gonna take a drink of water are you this his cock felt like a rocket huge and high vibrating on the launch pad of his arousal he could only hope lift often occur pre materials
Unknown Speaker 18:47
we have
Unknown Speaker 18:50
to say next time Houston we have a problem that's it. He does go earlier whatever. In my vagina
Unknown Speaker 18:59
um
Unknown Speaker 19:02
I feel like the rocket that's a little too predictable. Yeah
Unknown Speaker 19:08
Yeah, so like a four
Unknown Speaker 19:10
I can I'm gonna go with three I do like the part where she's just like it better not be premature
Unknown Speaker 19:21
um, yeah, I yeah, for I'll probably give it
Unknown Speaker 19:27
it is kind of like a generic key bland. Kind of get ready for liftoff. Kind of innuendo II kind of thing. So.
Unknown Speaker 19:36
So yeah, I'm there. Maybe we should title the episode DJ in my pants.
Unknown Speaker 19:43
Oh, maybe they'll take the rocket to your anus.
Unknown Speaker 19:48
Huh?
Unknown Speaker 19:51
There's one posted by what Katie did dx.
Unknown Speaker 19:57
She says
Unknown Speaker 19:59
this is a really short
Unknown Speaker 20:00
When his smile makes my vajayjay squirm
Unknown Speaker 20:05
negative
Unknown Speaker 20:09
I feel like that has to just like be fake. So yeah, I'm just gonna do a zero on that one
Unknown Speaker 20:17
by posted by Arctic banter,
Unknown Speaker 20:21
And there went her panties someone called the fire department. Oh wait, she had someone with a hose right across the table
Unknown Speaker 20:32
I get that like a six and it's kind of like generici but it feels short enough to where it wasn't overdone, I guess. Yeah, I guess I'll
Unknown Speaker 20:44
I'll do a six as well. I feel like it may be I liked the thing about the hose. I think it would probably be like an eight.
Unknown Speaker 20:53
If he didn't say panties, I just Yeah. When people say that word just makes me like me. I just feel like you're a creep if you say it. Yeah. Like you're a Ted Nugent. Daddy. If you say Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:07
Yeah. I
Unknown Speaker 21:09
mean, if you say in a serious way, if you're saying it in a funny way, that's fine. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:14
Look at the new panties. I bought. Yeah. It just feels like a child like yes, I just Yes, it's gross. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't like it. I'm glad I'm not the only one that it makes. No, I hate it.
Unknown Speaker 21:31
Oh, there's one of my when galumphing back.
Unknown Speaker 21:36
My sweat slick cheeks left my sweat slicked cheek slides across the hard squares of his bear add abdomen. That was hard to say.
Unknown Speaker 21:48
But I guess I would say I like the Apple description more than squares. So I give this one
Unknown Speaker 21:58
a one. No, I'll do it a to my sweat slicked cheek slides. I don't know if they mean their facial cheek or their butt cheek. Oh, I was thinking butt cheek but facial cheek makes more sense. I'm gonna give it a zero. I just I don't know what's going on with the wet cheeks. I just don't like it.
Unknown Speaker 22:21
Oh, I need to tell the dry my nervous sweaty Yes. It's like Costa Rica.
Unknown Speaker 22:30
Oh, man, that's Texas summers.
Unknown Speaker 22:44
So that's all I have, like from the quotes from that Reddit thread that I found. I was also just looking around to see if I could find a random small series of romance novels to read the synopsis of.
Unknown Speaker 22:59
So there is a small series. This is a four book series. But it looks like this author has like, you know, seven years something books, pretty much all romance novels. So this is Laurie Marie altom Is the author. And the book series is called the buck horn ranch. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 23:22
And the first book in this series is called the bull riders Christmas baby. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 23:32
And the
Unknown Speaker 23:35
synopsis that's what it is on the back of the book, write a synopsis or summary. So for some reason, as I'm thinking it's like a specific word that I'm not hitting.
Unknown Speaker 23:44
So it says
Unknown Speaker 23:46
cash book horn. Sorry, this is gonna come out with an accent because of the book. It's like a guy with a cowboy hat on the front.
Unknown Speaker 23:55
doing like a typical like hugging your pregnant wife that's in front of you. They're like in front of a Christmas decorated fireplace. Oh cash.
Unknown Speaker 24:05
Cash me out baby.
Unknown Speaker 24:09
Cash but corn never thought he'd see you Dr. Rand Barnes again outside of the occasional fantasy way. He certainly didn't expect her to appear on announced on his front porch six months pregnant with his child. Boy heavy Oh boy.
Unknown Speaker 24:26
Ran asked for nothing. But cash doesn't know what to make of it. This rodeo cowboy has lived 27 carefree years as a bachelor. He's not ready for an instant family. But when rands pregnancy complications stranger at cashes Oklahoma ranch he begins to imagine their future together. Problem is Bran already has a future far away in Baltimore. Cash knows Ran is used to doing it all on her own. Maybe it's the magic of Christmas. But cash suddenly
Unknown Speaker 25:00
moms that all grin and bear baby home on the buck horn ranch for ever.
Unknown Speaker 25:09
No
Unknown Speaker 25:11
romance
Unknown Speaker 25:14
Put that thing away.
Unknown Speaker 25:17
Let me get a lasso and lasso it down.
Unknown Speaker 25:23
Um,
Unknown Speaker 25:26
so
Unknown Speaker 25:29
do you want to do Boehner ratings on these ones? Oh, sure. Um, uh, personally, I'm gonna give this a zero out of 10. Because
Unknown Speaker 25:39
I feel like if you have a baby, you can't be talking all the time that babies definitely like, car blocking you.
Unknown Speaker 25:47
So yeah, zero to 10
Unknown Speaker 25:50
Oh, okay. I see. So you're looking more for like a steamy? Steamy, doesn't you? You're the face you're looking
Unknown Speaker 25:58
at. You're like, Yeah, I'm looking. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 26:03
I'm just like, if she's already pregnant, and then she's gonna have a baby like, they're fucked. I'm just gonna be cut down significantly so I don't see where this is gonna go. So after the baby comes plenty of time to wait six weeks plus have some traumatic shit happen.
Unknown Speaker 26:22
Now I'm thinking about our Yeah, hurt to squeeze one of them out. Yeah, we call them their kids out.
Unknown Speaker 26:30
Little Dog.
Unknown Speaker 26:33
But what do you think? Oh.
Unknown Speaker 26:36
I think I would give it I don't know, like a
Unknown Speaker 26:42
maybe like a four or five.
Unknown Speaker 26:47
Like, you know, like an old romance being simmered over the fire and, like, you know, that he's like, I want this life with you and our child. Maybe that just like hits me more in the like sense. Those hearts change. I think the reaction is supposed to be from women. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 27:09
Yes.
Unknown Speaker 27:11
Good job.
Unknown Speaker 27:13
Um,
Unknown Speaker 27:16
but yeah, it'd be I'd be interested to see if it's if it does get like raunchy or what? Because you know, they might be like, remember that time you suck my dick in the Walmart dressing room or something?
Unknown Speaker 27:29
We just wait to get Copenhagen and then we ended up in the dressing room and
Unknown Speaker 27:36
becoming
Unknown Speaker 27:43
the second book is the ranchers tent twin troubles. Ah, oh, cash as a twin. No.
Unknown Speaker 27:54
Guy so the I think the
Unknown Speaker 27:57
the picture I'm a friend. It's like a guy with like two twin daughters. They're like little, little, little kids.
Unknown Speaker 28:05
Um, I don't I don't want the kids involved in all this. I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker 28:11
I don't think they get like, too involved. Still ways. They're just kind of there.
Unknown Speaker 28:20
So this is the Atlas that was Buck horn refuses to believe it. His angelic girls wreaking havoc. Never.
Unknown Speaker 28:30
I'm gonna stop the accent now. But their teacher, Josie Griffin and making him feel like the worst father on the planet. He only wants his daughters to be happy. How can that be wrong? Josie knows. The buck horn twins aren't bad. They're just boiled by their overindulgent and ruggedly handsome cowboy daddy.
Unknown Speaker 28:52
Boy daddy, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 28:55
But she also has a job to do and she can't do it when the twins are out of control in her classroom. Josie might be hard on Dallas, because he seems oblivious to how lucky he is to have his girls. Her own tragedy haunts her. But the more she spends time with the buck horns the more she imagines herself in in their family picture. This means saying goodbye to her past and she's not sure she can do that.
Unknown Speaker 29:23
So this one's I don't think as hot I'm sorry, I don't think the series is as heavy as you're looking for. Jam it's it's more of falling for Christmas kind of vibe. So is this like caches brother or does it say like how these dudes are related? Or?
Unknown Speaker 29:42
I don't
Unknown Speaker 29:43
think I don't know if you find that out unless you read the books. Okay, I don't know if they're they are related. Or maybe they're supposed to be like, this is all kind of like ranch themed or on the same farm or something.
Unknown Speaker 29:57
Maybe it's like a soap opera and it kind of like follows
Unknown Speaker 30:00
As the people's different stories or whatever, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 30:03
Um, I liked cowboy daddy.
Unknown Speaker 30:08
So I think I'm gonna give this one, like a six on the Boehner scale. Wow. Okay. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 30:16
And the teacher, maybe it's like a hot teacher trope, so that's good too. Yeah, I gave it an EIGHT but I think I'm gonna go six. Okay, I was thinking of like, I was thinking more like four or five. Okay, not to
Unknown Speaker 30:31
know it's
Unknown Speaker 30:32
down your choices. Okay, but
Unknown Speaker 30:38
there's just like,
Unknown Speaker 30:40
too many kids in it. Yeah. That is if I was if I liked having kids around like a lot that would maybe be great because it's like me No.
Unknown Speaker 30:52
Like a teacher and then like your students dad is like a cowboy daddy.
Unknown Speaker 31:02
But if the kids are assholes, like that'd be a shitty relationship to get through. But we're also just judging, I guess like the hotness of it.
Unknown Speaker 31:11
I guess this one I gave it a higher rating because it sounds like these are at least school aged kids. So they're probably like kind of doing their own thing sometimes. Whereas the baby you've got to really take care of it. Yeah, that's true. You can't neglect a baby like you can't a five year old
Unknown Speaker 31:32
um
Unknown Speaker 31:35
let's see. The third book is
Unknown Speaker 31:39
a cow girl secret. Okay, okay, I'm already like, she's gonna be good. Maybe the best.
Unknown Speaker 31:47
Daisy Buck horn is used to keeping secrets. Pregnant and terrified. She left her family home 10 years ago hoping to never be found. Since then she's made a name for herself. Only the name isn't her own. Julie Smith is a successful attorney with a beautiful son. And the complete opposite of wild country girl Daisy. When reality intrudes on Julie's perfect life in the form of Luke Montgomery. Oh, first, her first love. Daisy knows her secrets won't stay hidden for long, not when her son isn't a near replica of Luke, who has come to bring her home. But the Oklahoma ranch still houses her darkest memory and her darkest threat. telling his telling this truth could unravel everything she's built and destroy any future she and Luke may have. They're gonna fuck again. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 32:45
Um
Unknown Speaker 32:48
Why does that have to talk about her pregnancy? In the beginning, at first, my Boehner was like, whoop, and then it was like pregnancy and like deflated a little bit. And then it kind of went back up a little more. I guess somebody gives us one like a seven just because the reuniting I think that's what's nice. Good for them.
Unknown Speaker 33:08
Yeah, um,
Unknown Speaker 33:11
I felt like I might need more context, but I feel like I give it about the same. Like, why is she running away? Is she running away from Luke won't come or steal his child and run away? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 33:24
What else is going on in this romance novel, but
Unknown Speaker 33:29
it feels very Sweet Home Alabama. To me.
Unknown Speaker 33:34
What's my kind of lie when that movie first came out? I was like, Oh, yeah. So romantic. southern girl.
Unknown Speaker 33:42
I've actually never seen it. Um, it's okay. I probably won't watch it again. It's just like, Reese Witherspoon. And whoever the guy is, it's like their kids and they're like ran out in the rain or whatever. And he's like, I will love you forever. And then
Unknown Speaker 33:58
I think they like get married or something and then she like moves away. Or maybe just like,
Unknown Speaker 34:05
are fine got married or something but I'm pretty sure it was legally because she's a big city gal now.
Unknown Speaker 34:12
And is her boyfriend proposed to her so she has to go get go get her good for nuttin husband sign the divorce papers.
Unknown Speaker 34:21
And then he's like, I'm not gonna sign him until like, you know, you prove you don't love me anymore some shit like that.
Unknown Speaker 34:31
And then like spoiler but they probably
Unknown Speaker 34:34
get back together. Yeah, yeah, they do.
Unknown Speaker 34:37
How did I know?
Unknown Speaker 34:40
And the fourth one
Unknown Speaker 34:42
in this is called a trilogy. Whatever, a four series religion for
Unknown Speaker 34:49
you. Several Logie.
Unknown Speaker 34:57
A baby in his stocking of
Unknown Speaker 35:00
I was like that night
Unknown Speaker 35:04
and it's a guy sitting on the couch with his pregnant wife Kenny like laying on his lap and Christmas tree in the backroom
Unknown Speaker 35:13
Wyatt Buck horn gotta hate them why why kills me
Unknown Speaker 35:20
if you're listening this podcast you're cool but please yeah kids why why why it why it but but
Unknown Speaker 35:30
why but horn
Unknown Speaker 35:37
that's a different romance
Unknown Speaker 35:42
oh why it's a buck horn is only a Powell if Sharon scorching kisses that leave a woman feeble brained they're Pauwels wait what let me maybe I should read that with a different intention. bowels pills. What towels so what is Brian? Buck
Unknown Speaker 36:05
is only a Powell like yeah
Unknown Speaker 36:10
I think there's little Mississippi
Unknown Speaker 36:15
just a friend
Unknown Speaker 36:22
like a pile of dirty clothes.
Unknown Speaker 36:26
How?
Unknown Speaker 36:28
Pile a pile pile okay
Unknown Speaker 36:32
pow pow. I will only be saying pal.
Unknown Speaker 36:36
Camper city. Bring the power down.
Unknown Speaker 36:40
So this was P A L pow. So why but corn is only a Powell snuff I feel like I'm adding a W in there he's uh, Powell
Unknown Speaker 36:51
is sharing school. Okay, hold on. Let me see
Unknown Speaker 36:58
if sharing scorching kisses that leave a woman feeble brained means they're Powell pals gotta keep like adding a W in there now dammit.
Unknown Speaker 37:08
But that's all the oil man slash rancher can be to Natalie Lewis. Five months pregnant and recently jilted. Why is everyone fucking What the fuck? Natalie refuses to trust any man? Least of all a man who is the definition of Playboy?
Unknown Speaker 37:29
Throw in that every runnings throw in that every runnin turns into a firing counter and quote, just friends unquote, gets complicated, which is which is a shame because Natalie's life is messy enough.
Unknown Speaker 37:45
Besides, she knows why it's secret. He's sterile.
Unknown Speaker 37:52
Okay, okay. And so enforces a strict kid free rule. But when circumstances have them caring for a whole can of book horn youngsters over the holidays, Natalie sees a side of Wyatt. That's definitely kid friendly. Weakening defenses, and even weaker knees. have Natalie determined to destroy Wyatt's anti Family Policy? Before he leaves town for good?
Unknown Speaker 38:22
You know, the classic. He doesn't want kids, so just trap him. Just yeah, have it without him knowing. I think I'm gonna give this like 1.5 out of 10 It's just the wild the pregnancy. Not Yeah, I felt like the pregnancy is just like added in there because they're like, she's pregnant. And now they have to like, watch all these kids. They don't have to, like add the I don't know. It feels like one of those like mobile games like the bad mobile game.
Unknown Speaker 38:53
It makes what it makes me think of like, one of the first times that I went into like an adult store.
Unknown Speaker 39:01
I remember like, there was this whole wall of stuff, and it was like stuff with pregnant women. And I was just like videos. And I was just like, This is not for me. Like, not to shame anyone. Pregnant women are beautiful. They're creating a life. I'm just wanting to threesomes.
Unknown Speaker 39:23
Yeah, I don't see that and I'm like, Yeah, I just want to fuck like this. You got a baby inside you girl. Boy hanborough That's just not. That's probably one of the last like, fetishes I want
Unknown Speaker 39:43
the last ones I would have is like the like putting rotting meat into your vagina. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 39:52
But then pregnancy after that. Yeah, I mean, like, if it's like your wife or whatever, like of course there's
Unknown Speaker 40:00
still gonna do that, like random pregnant ladies like I don't I don't like it. Yeah and it just makes me think of that and that's all I was thinking of the whole time you were talking fucking pregnant women. I was like
Unknown Speaker 40:13
yeah, I am failed to to kind of see that overarching pattern whenever I was like briefing over lists, and I'm like laser focus like I don't like
Unknown Speaker 40:24
I'm not into that. Right? Don't talk about the same fucking again
Unknown Speaker 40:34
like an improv we go around and talk about like, Okay, are there any
Unknown Speaker 40:39
things that are off limits like that you don't want to like talk about in class
Unknown Speaker 40:48
everybody's gonna be like, What the fuck?
Unknown Speaker 40:53
Yeah, that is kind of like a random thing that was tossed out there. But I mean, it can't be brought up in some random way. Sometimes it doesn't bother me. I just think it's weird. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 41:05
So that was the last of the four novel series of the buckthorn book wearing ranch theory. Horns, the butt horns and go button Warren Rameau.
Unknown Speaker 41:19
The last thing I have is
Unknown Speaker 41:23
wanted to try to do an AI generated not hey,
Unknown Speaker 41:29
I say novel, but it's just a very short context. So I tried the same sentence I made out on like two different two different ones.
Unknown Speaker 41:40
So the sentence I have
Unknown Speaker 41:43
is a Kayo looked at Jessica. She was eating Flaming Hot Cheetos. Should I make a move? Kyle took one last sip of his monster and prepared to deliver his throbbing shaft. So that's the sentence I came up with to get it started. Oh, yeah, that's like a first sentence. Gotcha. Yeah. Um,
Unknown Speaker 42:03
so the first one I tried was from SAS book. So
Unknown Speaker 42:08
I'll just restart it with a sentence. I guess it makes sense. Kayo looked at Jessica she was eating Flaming Hot Cheetos. Should I make a move? Kyle took one last sip of his monster and prepared to deliver his throbbing shaft. Jessica looked up and smiled. Her eyes widen in her mouth opened the sound of air escaping her throat was almost deafening.
Unknown Speaker 42:29
She like Scream.
Unknown Speaker 42:34
Like a scary movie, like when they turn him into a demon.
Unknown Speaker 42:38
Kyle's head jerked back, and his body tensed. Just because mouth was open, but her eyes were still wide. He was about to take his first step into heaven.
Unknown Speaker 42:50
And he didn't know it yet. A small voice in his head said he would be there soon. That he had a long time to wait. But he wasn't sure he believed it. I'm so glad to see you. She looked around the room and saw Kyle his face was flushed and there is no way to hide his smile. Even though he knew it wasn't a good idea. And Kyle, but in Kyle's face lit up, as he saw Jessica and he smiled at her. It was like a light switch had been turned on inside him. Suddenly a wave of energy washed through him and his body started to glow.
Unknown Speaker 43:25
And I have like to kind of like alternate routes with it because I couldn't figure out the AI generator. So I was kind of like clicking on some stuff. And I was like fuck. So from the same one. Here's a couple that are shorter. I won't read the intro sentence. You know, she's eating flaming hearts. He's this monster.
Unknown Speaker 43:47
Jessica looked up with him her eyes filled with fear. What was she thinking? She couldn't let herself get close to him. Not now. Her mind flashed back to Felix to his hand on her the way it had made. And that stopped.
Unknown Speaker 44:03
I just pictured Felix the Cat cartoon.
Unknown Speaker 44:08
Um, I'm sorry, I was just gonna say going back to the first one did it like not make sense? Or did I am I just stupid? I was like, what? Like, time time is generated sample like not make sense. And that's part of the term I guess. Oh, gotcha. I might have also read some of it poorly. Because that was just like it's hard to make sense of and hard to read because of things about their eyes and mouths being wide open. I was like, wait, what? Like, it sounds more scary than in Yeah. Which is how a lot of the AI generated art turns out, like scary.
Unknown Speaker 44:45
And another one for that because again, I was messing up trying to do the generating.
Unknown Speaker 44:51
Eating the eating red hot Cheetos, or flaming hot drinking monster.
Unknown Speaker 44:58
He took her hand and let her out.
Unknown Speaker 45:00
Have the office, the library door closed behind them and I heard the click of a lock. The library was quiet except for the sound of Kyle and Jessica walking around the room. They were talking. That's it
Unknown Speaker 45:16
from the office to the library
Unknown Speaker 45:19
um
Unknown Speaker 45:23
that was the most promising start and
Unknown Speaker 45:26
Oh, another one because so the one where it says like her mouth was open and her eyes were wide and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 45:36
So I kind of messed up and did another track on this one, but I want to read it too. So, Kyle's head jerked back, his body's tensed after she did like the deafening thing just because mouth was open but her eyes were still wide. Jessica was the only one that was still awake all the others were in deep sleep. Even Felix was fast on his feet
Unknown Speaker 45:57
it was time to wake the rest. They were all in shock that this happened Felix had been asleep for hours
Unknown Speaker 46:05
so let's just kind of nonsensical either way it takes me back to is the the jack Tisch
Unknown Speaker 46:12
Romans. Yeah, and it was like to wake everybody up I dragged the
Unknown Speaker 46:20
bulldozers to wake them oh, god that was
Unknown Speaker 46:25
so just the whole dragging everybody
Unknown Speaker 46:29
do I've been looking and she hasn't posted anymore but maybe maybe almost a year? Yeah. We need her we do.
Unknown Speaker 46:38
And I also went to another website it was called novelist dotnet and this one gave me some very detailed stuff so I don't know good. Okay, I can read it all. And I can like
Unknown Speaker 46:51
fast forwarded or cut parts out if it seems too long or into too much detail because I was very surprised with the amount of detail this was giving when you said detail. I just thought you meant like It's like descriptive penis stuff. It is very descriptive. Penis and penis handling.
Unknown Speaker 47:09
Wasn't sure if you meant like very detailed. Like
Unknown Speaker 47:13
it doesn't matter. I'm saying the veins and look girls and my hair.
Unknown Speaker 47:19
I'm the sweaty cheeks. So
Unknown Speaker 47:22
the apple like abs.
Unknown Speaker 47:25
So it starts off with my Kayo looked at Jessica she was eating Flaming Hot Cheetos. Should I make a move? Kyle took one last sip of his monster and prepared to deliver his thriving shaft.
Unknown Speaker 47:38
You know what I want to do to you? Jessica said, I want you to sit on my face. Oh, Kyle thought about it for a moment. And she continued. Just like that go ahead. With the side Kyle stood up, walked over to her and sat down, placing his hips right in front of her mouth.
Unknown Speaker 47:56
Just
Unknown Speaker 47:58
Jessica walked out and involuntary Mone as the tip of his cock found its way into her waiting lips. He pulled back slightly and pushed forward again, this time sliding deeper inside her mouth. Her tongue began to dance around his dick, licking from the base all the way up to his balls, which were now dangling only inches away from her open.
Unknown Speaker 48:23
Kyle's head fell back against the couch as she ate him off.
Unknown Speaker 48:30
No AI
Unknown Speaker 48:32
I'm gonna eat you eat your dick so hard. it off.
Unknown Speaker 48:39
I hate him.
Unknown Speaker 48:41
I hate that.
Unknown Speaker 48:45
I don't like it.
Unknown Speaker 48:47
If it started quiet for a minute, it's because I was laughing so hard my laughter
Unknown Speaker 48:54
Sorry, continue I guess she ate him off, massaging his shaft with her soft hands.
Unknown Speaker 49:03
Jessica stared deep into Kyle's eyes stroking him with both hands he could feel himself getting close to blowing his load. His body was shaking uncontrollably as he felt her tongue lit up the underside of his member.
Unknown Speaker 49:18
He knew how to make a decision but before he could say anything. Kyle felt her hands begin to work their magic on his shaft or thumbs caress the sides of his stick while her fingers circled the base.
Unknown Speaker 49:31
This is what I mean by detail this
Unknown Speaker 49:39
like you're just petting it.
Unknown Speaker 49:41
A mouse slipped further down his length to take more of him inside. She swirled her tongue around this glands coding it was saliva.
Unknown Speaker 49:51
With each stroke, she took more of him into her mouth. She was swallowing him whole taking him down to the root
Unknown Speaker 50:04
to close his eyes and surrounded to the pleasure feeling her warm breath tickling his balls and her wet tongue swirling around his pole he couldn't fall back any longer he shot a huge load into her waiting mouth
Unknown Speaker 50:18
open wide what and swallowed every drop of Kyle spunk
Unknown Speaker 50:27
oh by the way choices forgetting me but that one absolutely not.
Unknown Speaker 50:34
No, I ate a mountain to lease
Unknown Speaker 50:39
I'm gonna throw up.
Unknown Speaker 50:42
Once a talk stop twitching she slid her mouth back up his shaft and until she reached the tip her she liked her lips sucking the remaining come from the head
Unknown Speaker 50:53
in between her teeth.
Unknown Speaker 50:56
Come floss. This This should have been one that we like did a video recording because the faces that I'm making. I'm sure they're insane.
Unknown Speaker 51:06
We will definitely keep that in mind for for next time or a future Patreon video
Unknown Speaker 51:17
hmm, she moans
Unknown Speaker 51:20
as she brought her face back up to look at him. That's some tasty sperm you've got there was
Unknown Speaker 51:26
no
Unknown Speaker 51:28
no.
Unknown Speaker 51:31
Didn't call it spunk, though. And that's true. Good job, Jessica. Or whatever the fuck your name is.
Unknown Speaker 51:38
Kyle shook his head laughing nervously
Unknown Speaker 51:45
thanks, robot. Yeah. He hasn't been expecting such a show. He just wanted to get fucked by her. But now he was wondering if she was serious. He didn't have any other options at the moment. So he decided to go along with it.
Unknown Speaker 52:01
You know what? Messalonskee he said, If this is how you really want it, then I'm not going to complain.
Unknown Speaker 52:11
She smiled and leaned in for another kiss. Their tongues went in the middle and they started making out she ran her hand across his chest as her tongue did laps around his mouth. Oh, yeah, that's weird. way to phrase it. Just
Unknown Speaker 52:27
circling your tongue in someone else's mouth.
Unknown Speaker 52:31
Why does this Hey, I come up with like the worst terms I've ever heard in my life. Like I swear that I'm not a prude or anything. I feel like I'm saying everything but I'm just like, this terminology is so gross. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not a fan of it either. Like it's um, it is very weirdly worded. I swear she used every word for Dick. She could think of like, pole shaft. I don't think
Unknown Speaker 53:00
that one.
Unknown Speaker 53:03
AI's Um,
Unknown Speaker 53:06
well, they use words about as most people do, I guess.
Unknown Speaker 53:11
And I'll see, I swear there's only like five more sentence sentences.
Unknown Speaker 53:17
His hands went around her waist and began to grind his growing erection into her thigh. She broke the kiss and grabbed his crotch giving him a firm squeeze. Good boy. She said. Now let's go to the bedrooms, while followed her lead, and together, they made their way to her room. She laid down on her bed and climbed on top of him kissing his neck. Once again. She gave him a long, slow blow job slowly working her way down his shaft. She likes up and down his shaft stopping occasionally to suck on the head. Or take him under her.
Unknown Speaker 53:54
Oh, it was probably gonna say mouth but I stopped it there because I was like, Okay, this is like going way too long. Because I could just keep hitting like Next I'm adding to
Unknown Speaker 54:03
this one. And I was like, God.
Unknown Speaker 54:06
Okay, this AI like, you know,
Unknown Speaker 54:10
Boehner energy off of that. I say like on the Boehner scale. This is this is just ripping it off the charts. It's going through the ceiling again. Yeah, it's going through the hole I made was my Boehner previously, he's going up there Boeing. I got to talk to duct a little bit for the weird terminology, but I mean, it is a computer so and again, I hate him. I hate him off.
Unknown Speaker 54:37
It was because it was a weird combination. ate him off. Yeah. Didn't like that.
Unknown Speaker 54:47
I think the AI did a decent. Yeah. Oh, no, no. So this also started with Hot Cheetos and monster and yeah, I started all of the same sentence. No. So yeah, maybe maybe I
Unknown Speaker 55:00
can do some more of those in the future. Those were those were kind of fun to
Unknown Speaker 55:05
put together definitely weird. Yeah. And the second AI generator was definitely much better than the first one. Yeah, it um, I guess the stories made a little more sense. It got way more hot and heavy.
Unknown Speaker 55:19
Um, but it did have some weird word choices. Yeah, I kind of wish that they would have like, used a little bit with the food like, Oh, hot Cheetos.
Unknown Speaker 55:30
Hot Cheetos.
Unknown Speaker 55:32
Yeah, I'm like a, like a gamer having this energy drink. Yeah, she has like Cookie Monster pants on. Yeah. Like, that's like the whole kind of vibe. I was trying to set. Yeah, like, she ran laps around his mouth was her tone.
Unknown Speaker 55:52
But I thought it was kind of funny how it was like,
Unknown Speaker 55:55
the first half of the AI thing. And then it was like, they were done. And then it was like, and then they made out.
Unknown Speaker 56:04
Was that spunk in her mouth.
Unknown Speaker 56:09
So that's all I have on the romance novel front for today. I'll probably revisit this a little bit, because I don't have a lot right now. But
Unknown Speaker 56:19
the way Jamie had said, you know, it started doing some romance novels stuff. I bought a couple romance novels because my sister and I went to this bookstore and they had five books for $1. And, and then when I got up to the cash register, she was like, Oh, it's 10 books for $1 right now. I was like, oh my god, I'm just I'm okay. Deal. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 56:47
There's no way you can't get the pen. I didn't. Oh, I did. I do agree. Let us like a lot of books do they? Like all the ones I found are like probably like 300 pages. I was like, these are gonna take up so much room if I get 1005 I feel like it was like, it was a good stack and you need room for your like plant books and your prepper book. Yes, exactly. And my VC Andrews books, which I will definitely be talking about her in another episode. Oh, God, what if she's just like mixed in with a romance novel? It's funny you say that? Because I ended up getting one of her series. Because I went into the room that was like,
Unknown Speaker 57:30
erotica, horror or something. And there was all her stuff. I was like, No, that was a genre a robbery. Yeah, my sister's friends actually need to get a recommendation from her because she reads like
Unknown Speaker 57:44
I don't even know how to describe it. But just like weird like, like creatures puking and just like, like coId sex, kind of Yeah. So I need to get a recommendation from her. I definitely want to read one of those. I want to see moth man's dick. Yeah, for sure.
Unknown Speaker 58:03
But one of the books I got. I haven't started reading it yet, so I won't say anything about it. But what drew me to it. The main character's name is Pippa gray Hawk, and I was like, Absolutely, yes. Come on with me.
Unknown Speaker 58:18
You're coming home with me girl.
Unknown Speaker 58:22
Sounds like someone that never got a birth certificate.
Unknown Speaker 58:29
And I believe she's Australian as well. So I'm gonna have to practice my Australian accent. Oh, okay. Yeah, I will make sure my is prepared for them to sit. It may be a little while before I finished that book. But in the future. That's cool. I still have to read through modeling. Like one of our first like, 10 episodes, and we're like, yeah, we'll read it. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 58:50
It's right here.
Unknown Speaker 58:53
No, bookmark. And oh, oh, there is a bookmark and how many pages Did you read?
Unknown Speaker 59:00
Nine.
Unknown Speaker 59:02
Well, you know what I did that was fucking idiotic. I probably read like 100 pages of it, but I was like, I don't need to take notes. I'll remember it. And that was literally a year ago and I don't remember a single fucking thing. So I'll start from the beginning. Yeah, I started putting a little little
Unknown Speaker 59:22
idea. Yeah, I so life hack. I just had a normal sticky pad and then I sliced it up into little slices so I can help bookmark things. Instead of actually buying the postie stick. Posties ticket marks the protein. I can't get the word out in the right order. Yes. postie stick it mark that but I usually go very overboard when I take notes on books. So it's kind of a problem. How we can do a two part model land. Okay. So when we're in the bookstore, and I told my sister like, hey,
Unknown Speaker 1:00:00
You want to get
Unknown Speaker 1:00:01
some of these books then I'm gonna read them read on through the podcast and I don't know why I even brought this up because I think that she thought she knew it, but I was like, yeah, like, oh Danielle Steel like grandma loved her books and like, my sister was like, what? And I was like, oh, yeah, like grandma read like fucking softcore porn all the time. I was like, she has all this like Daniel steel. She has all those like Fabio romance novels, like, all this shit and my sister. Yeah. And my sister was like, what she was like, How do I how do I not remember that? I was like, I have no fucking idea. Because she had just like, in her room, just like piles of books. It was like smut and like, Reader's Digest. And I guess I just had like, books and stuff, and like, cross stitch now.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:55
stuff. And I was like, You know what, so weird to just like, I feel like if my grandkids were coming, I mean, okay, so if my grandkids were coming over, I'd be like, they don't know what this is. But then also, at some point, I feel like I'd like put them away feels kind of weird. I like in her room. So it wasn't like they were like, out and about, but also like,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:16
I know, Romance Novels aren't as big of a deal now. But I feel like 80s and 90s. That was just what women read. That was just kind of like, if you're gonna fucking read as a lady. You're reading like, novels reading for women? Yeah. So I think it was just like a different, like, looked at differently, I guess. I mean, not like, I'm trying to be like, it's fine. But it's, it's kind of weird. But it's, it's funny, because I know that a lot of the writers are women, I guess. But sometimes when I read the stuff, like I've never like, sat down and read like a romance novel. I've just like,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:51
taken little pieces from here and there. It just sounds like it's written by a man. Yeah, maybe. I mean, maybe I'm just
Unknown Speaker 1:02:00
they are not experienced enough in the world of romance novels. But I'm just like, Man, this sounds like a guy wrote. Yeah, oftentimes, it is very, like, penis centric, I guess.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:12
Which I mean, I guess.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:15
From both sides, it would be kind of penis centric.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:18
Because I could see a guy being like, literally make this about the dick. Being like, give me that day. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:26
So I'm hoping that my grandpa still has these books. I don't know for sure if he does vintage soft core. Absolutely. If if he does, I'm gonna be like, Hey, can I please have all of these and I will keep them. And I've already decided where I would put them in my office and keep them forever because it's funny to me.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:51
So I have a little bit about Danielle Steel. This is just like a quick thing from Wikipedia. Oh, shit. This bit. You're still alive. Oh, she's 70 Danielle Steel. She's 75 years old. Feeling your heart? Hell yeah, bitch.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:11
Does a fucking long name. Daniel Fernandez, Dominique.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:17
shoe line. Dash steal is her name. She's an American writer, best known for her romance novels. She is the best selling, best selling living author. And the fourth best selling fiction author of all time with over 800 million copies sold. Wow. I told you. Wow. It's just like, if you're a lady, this is what you read. Wow. Yeah. Good for her. Good at Danielle.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:44
As of 2021 Do you want to guess how many books?
Unknown Speaker 1:03:48
How many she's written? Yeah, up until the year 2020 21. M. 238. Oh, wow. This isn't impressive. But 190 Okay. Oh, no, that's good. I was like, I have to overshoot it because every time you ask me stuff, I wait.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:04
I'm trying to overshoot.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:06
Listen, she's written 190 books, including over 140 novels. So I guess some of them were short stories, but most of them were like actual novels. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:17
So yeah, I'm hoping that
Unknown Speaker 1:04:20
I can get some of those in the future. I was looking at the back of her books. And I was like, this is the best fucking thing that I've ever seen.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:31
It also goes back to like how big she was at this time period. So on the back of all of her books
Unknown Speaker 1:04:39
it's like a picture of her kind of like a glamour shot. And it says everybody reads Danielle Steel and that's on the back of like all
Unknown Speaker 1:04:49
you can just see like her going through time like the different decades and it's a picture every time it's a picture. Yeah. Oh, do you think she's still doing it? I want to see her at like
Unknown Speaker 1:04:59
everybody
Unknown Speaker 1:05:00
Do I need to find it and then it'll have like her kind of updated total like, this one says over 590 million copies of her novel sold. But under all the pictures it says everybody reads Danielle Steel so I'm gonna show you so Oh, yes. Oh wow. On this first one, she's in a very like nice swanky like white dress with white pearls kind of like a flapper style.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:26
Which one's her? Oh, that's a painting. Okay. I thought I was hurting the dress too. And I was like, that's kind of weird. So she's sitting in front of a fancy painting of a fancy lady and she's smiling looking cool. Yeah, just as her like throughout time. You know, she kind of reminds me of at least in these two pictures that you showed me. Um, you know, the galloping exercise lady. Reminds me of her.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:51
See? I'll do side by side for Instagram. She does look exactly like. Yeah, so if you ever seen the horse galloping workout lady, yep, that's what she looks like when she got a little older.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:03
One of the prints her size, I think is what it's called. Yes. The size. Oh, shit. This one's awesome. It's her in a car. I'm gonna get up and show you. Okay, sorry. I'm trying to like Google. Something to you.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:17
Oh, I kind of liked that one. That one reminds me of Lindsay Lohan. Like, I don't know why it just makes me. I keep thinking you're falling for Christmas recently. I don't know why.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:26
That's the most recent romance you've taken in other than that, I do watch it.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:33
Um,
Unknown Speaker 1:06:36
I was just like doing some googling because I'm not really familiar with many authors. So if if you're like me, like you're not
Unknown Speaker 1:06:46
familiar with how much anyone writes anything. The only one I'm really familiar with is like Anne rule. Oh, and she's written what I have here. Well, it says more than 30 books. So maybe like between 30 and 40. So that's crazy that she wrote like jam Yeah, but no, and rules. Books are also different because it has like researchy stuff. I think it's I don't know if that's
Unknown Speaker 1:07:10
different context. But JK Rowling only wrote like eight and she's a transphobic church turf.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:20
I'm just trying to get into context this I guess like yeah, many fucking wild is like say how many Aurel Stein? Oh, boy. I went a bit. Stephen King wrote a bunch to okay, you look up RL Stein. I look up Stephen King, Googling session. Stephen King has written at least 83 books.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:40
Along with goosebumps. Stein wrote various other popular series such as fear Street and has written over 300 books. Whoa, damn. Like probably 100 pages, but still. Yeah, that's a lot of books. I forgot that he did fear Street. I think the thing on Netflix now, I never read that.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:02
I didn't either. But I vaguely remember it. I'm so excited to talk about books now. Like, I have some other ones popping up in my head. So if it's okay with you. I'll revisit when I have a little more research. Yeah, yeah, totally. For sure. Yeah. Well, we can do like a different kind of book episode. Right? Doesn't somebody ever book stuff? Fat heads? Yeah. Well, you know, I'm not sure when we'll do it, but we'll do it. And I'm excited. I'm like, either ready next week, guys.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:31
I haven't some.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:34
I don't think I have any like book stuff to talk about. Because maybe I do. I don't know. We'll see. Flippity floppity.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:41
And for episode number 69. We plan on having a guest a very lovely guest and it's going to be a you guessed it. A sexy little thing. That episode. Oh, yeah. Maybe I should save the thing I'm thinking of doing for that episode. Okay, I won't do that. And then maybe I'll do some IV VC Andrews and some other stuff. Okay. Yeah. That sounds good. So, if you have any sexy stuff you want us to talk about or research? Let us know if you have any embarrassing encounters. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. For episode 669 We're gonna be getting a little sexy. So I mean, if you've ever like, barfed on a buddy when you're doing it or you know, just stuff like, yeah, let us know. pooped in your boyfriend's litter box, and I believe
Unknown Speaker 1:09:37
Oh, my God, do you want to tell them if they don't know the Reddit post? Sure. Sure. So there's someone posted about they're like, You tell I feel like I can't talk okay. I think maybe the boyfriend's toilet like wasn't working or there was some kind of problem so let's check was like oh shit in the litter box.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:00
And then the boyfriend called her and was like what the fuck is this? Like the cat died last week? I just haven't.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:07
So she got called busted. Um
Unknown Speaker 1:10:12
yeah, I think I read like a couple different versions of it was like she was there and like call him like, well you pick me up so I don't know if
Unknown Speaker 1:10:21
I want to believe that story is real. Yeah, I'm not gonna just yeah, let's do my internet knowledge the termI from that belief
Unknown Speaker 1:10:31
um, but yeah, that's it for heads we got
Unknown Speaker 1:10:35
we got some stuff we're working on kind of trying to talk about and figure out so maybe you know look for some stuff in the next few months to be
Unknown Speaker 1:10:47
talking about and updating. Follow us on the Instagrams that's where we're most active. Yep, I don't think I've posted on Twitter probably since like episode 20 Yeah, maybe dragged on.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:05
No but Elon now. Fuck him. Yeah, let's just not use that platform. Um, Instagram is where it's at.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:13
And if you leave us a review number one we super appreciate it. And number two, we will read it on the show will eat you off
Unknown Speaker 1:11:28
and I think that concludes the opposite. So have a
Unknown Speaker 1:11:33
sexy day have a sexy day Hey.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:36
Party on fat heads
Unknown Speaker 1:11:52
I was trying to put it on here he
Unknown Speaker 1:11:57
kind of taught
Unknown Speaker 1:12:00
me
Unknown Speaker 1:12:02
like at the Halloween party. I was making margaritas and pouring tequila into the little mixer. And I guess I just like let go and the shot glass and it fell in the blender. He was like you just stopped trying