Join the ladies for a crunchy and weird toy filled episode!
Join the ladies for a crunchy and weird toy filled episode!
Write us some of your cringe stories at [nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com](mailto:nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com)
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The Breast Milk Baby: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KupsmQDdgVE
Elizabeth from Knoxville: We're storming the Capitol, it's a Revolution!
The Most Dangerous Toys:
The Most Dangerous Toys of All Time
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Brandon and I went to target the other day, and we were walking out. And there was two Dec two guys in front of us. And then in front of them was this couple, and they're being pretty cute, you know, like, she was like, putting her arm random playing with his hair or whatever. But then like, we're in the part, like the section between like, the doors are like, open you go to a section and then you can leave. And they just like stop right in the middle of the section and like get he gave her a piggyback ride. And like me and Brandon just the look we gave each other was like
Unknown Speaker 0:55
It's like when, when stuff like that happens, and you have a person that you can make, like some kind of eye contact with and you know that like, exactly what you're thinking? Same thing. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:07
So, so yeah, that was good. But it was funny because we talked about it after and
Unknown Speaker 1:15
like the people in front of us, it almost looks like they just wanted to just like say what the fuck?
Unknown Speaker 1:22
We're gonna hold Everybody
Unknown Speaker 1:25
cried. And it was funny because like when we left I was about to say this and then he beat me to it because every time we see like some like cheesy romantic shit like that go on, but we kind of eyeroll about I'm always just like, why don't you do that for me? Or like
Unknown Speaker 1:42
he was like, what you wish you were hurt or like shot?
Unknown Speaker 1:47
And then um, yeah, I don't know. It was it was just funny because I was just like, why don't you Why don't you like hold up traffic to pick me up in front of everybody? Um, but yeah, we're just very not romantic people so like I get some people have their little Hallmark movie life and that's what you do. But this is what people like me do.
Unknown Speaker 2:10
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 2:13
I won't be checked you for stopping up traffic trying to get out of target if you don't mind me just laughing about it later and rolling my eyes about it.
Unknown Speaker 2:25
Welcome to nervous laughter podcast.
Unknown Speaker 2:28
The podcast where we hate piggyback rides in crowded areas. Yes. Yeah, we would have thought the same thing. Like what the fuck? Like I'm trying to get home like maybe I need to go the bathroom or something. And I want to go at home and trying to leave the store and you disrupted my flow. Yeah. I don't like that. I don't think I thought the PDA was cute what they're doing if they would just step off to the side and give you piggyback or skip walking and yeah, that's fine. But you just like stopped in front of four people trying to leave a store in the only fucking doorway hallway were all stuck in.
Unknown Speaker 3:04
I was hoping that they were going to fall but they didn't. It would just would have been funnier. But it would have been fine. I'm an asshole.
Unknown Speaker 3:11
No, I don't like having like forced interactions with people in public. Like, I don't want to be part of your your Hallmark movie. Yeah. Like get my cat letter and leave. Yeah, exactly.
Unknown Speaker 3:29
Um, oh, yeah. We went to brunch a couple weeks ago. Speaking of force interactions.
Unknown Speaker 3:37
Oh, well, I guess there was a fourth interaction there.
Unknown Speaker 3:41
Totally forgot about that. We're just sitting at the table. And this old lady and her other old lady friend come up. And they're just like, this is this was my booth. And we're just like, what? And then her friend was like, oh, yeah, her husband like
Unknown Speaker 3:57
and her you see that this booth all the time. And he passed away. And she's reminiscing and I think we just like looked at each other.
Unknown Speaker 4:06
Like, looked over?
Unknown Speaker 4:08
Okay, I'm probably gonna sound like a bitch here. And I don't don't mean to because like, I'm really glad.
Unknown Speaker 4:17
I'm really glad that her and her husband had those memories. But what I didn't care for is like,
Unknown Speaker 4:25
I don't really need to know about it. Like y'all could have stood over there and observed the booth. But then they came over and they were like, Y'all are sitting in our booths. And first Yeah, I was like, Are they gonna ask us to leave? Like what? Like, I don't want to be the athlete here, but I don't want to fucking get up and move. Yeah, we already got like, all of our plates and our drinks. Like I don't really want to ship it to another table. That's what I thought they were doing. She's like, what I mean, like, I'm happy for you and your husband, but also like, I don't really care. Like I don't really need to be involved in that.
Unknown Speaker 5:00
Building your own memory.
Unknown Speaker 5:03
And like, I don't know, sometimes I just feel like people want people to hear about. Oh my god. I mean, we have a podcast. So I guess that's what we're doing.
Unknown Speaker 5:13
We're not forcing you guys to look at brunch into your brush conversation being like, hey, I have this special moment here with my husband when we had brunch here all the time. And I don't know, maybe I'm maybe I'm just a sour person. But I was just kind of like, I don't really care. Yeah, I mean, like
Unknown Speaker 5:36
variably we're not good. Here's another way that I feel like it stems from my work. Having our my work in, um, what's it called? Just where you have to work with the public service work. Oh, because like, you always get people come in and you're forced to listen to their fucking life story. Yeah. And give them support. And it's just like, what, what do you want me to do?
Unknown Speaker 6:01
But sorry, I think I cut you off. Oh, no, I was just gonna say I guess we're talking about ways that you and I are not romantic people. And I have another one. I'm curious about. Yeah. So I don't really believe in the concept of a soulmate. I think it's like, okay, you don't either. Yeah. I mean, I think it's a cool concept. And I'm like, how like in Japan, they have like, the red string that like connects you with your soulmate. And,
Unknown Speaker 6:27
like, I don't believe in that. No. Okay. No, because I don't remember how it came up. But me and Jay were talking I was like, I don't believe that we're like, soulmates and he was like, no, no, I don't believe in that shit. I'm like, okay, because like, the way I look at it, I feel like that's kind of like a Hallmark movie thing to say that's like the another like homework universe.
Unknown Speaker 6:53
Okay, so out of 6 billion people in the world. I happen to like fall for someone's brother that I know and like we live in the same area. Yeah, if you move to another area you would probably find a soulmate. Yeah. Yes. You find someone that you get along with and like you also want bang and like you guys agree upon that and get me
Unknown Speaker 7:19
Yeah, I don't I don't believe in like the soulmate or like love at first sight and all that stuff to I feel like
Unknown Speaker 7:26
people Yeah, I don't know if they get confused with like, infatuation. And like, Yeah, but those are not the same.
Unknown Speaker 7:34
So we're the Heartless women podcast.
Unknown Speaker 7:40
Just wait for the fucking Valentine's Day episode.
Unknown Speaker 7:47
But yeah, I don't.
Unknown Speaker 7:49
I think like when I was younger, I kind of believe in that. Just because that's like, what's kind of like out there and I feel like you always want to have like, you know, that love story? Yeah, like told to the ages, or whatever. But that's no, yeah. And then you like observe life around you and you're like, oh, like my grandma died. And then my grandpa found a soulmate like six months later
Unknown Speaker 8:14
that he wants somebody to take care
Unknown Speaker 8:17
of
Unknown Speaker 8:19
you your mom are getting divorced.
Unknown Speaker 8:25
Um, oh, yeah. Also at brunch? We came up with a new business idea. Yes. Jamie? I think it would we call it Jamie's toe and butthole Emporium Yeah, calm.
Unknown Speaker 8:39
We're gonna dip our toes into an adult industry industry can't talk. Not really Hickson butthole pics. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we're not really going to do that. That was just a topic of brunch conversation. But if you want a picture of me
Unknown Speaker 8:59
for the right price for the right price. Yeah, not for free. Yeah. Um, but yeah, those are kind of like the conversations we have at brunch and it doesn't get too loud. For some people sometimes. We're Yeah, we're talking about this, how we're gonna have this business venture and like, what everybody's part and it is and then these old ladies walk in, like, Hey, Mike, excuse me, we're talking about our fake butthole business business conversation here.
Unknown Speaker 9:26
Again, torium part is what makes me
Unknown Speaker 9:31
like, I don't know if that lady like, I don't know if she was expecting us to, like, say something or ask questions, but I just I don't know. I just hate stuff like that. Cuz I'm like, okay, cool. Can you go? Yeah, I mean, if you catch me in the right mood, I'll be like, Oh, that's really nice. Like, what was his name or something? But no, then I'm like, I'm talking to my friend about the butthole until Korea time, right? Yeah, I'm bored lady. Investor, get out.
Unknown Speaker 10:01
And afterwards GE was like, I thought they were walking up to us to, like, tell us to quiet down.
Unknown Speaker 10:10
We're having some pretty, like, raunchy conversations around the not raunchy, but just, you know, like, adult. You know, yeah. What if she was like, My husband used to take pictures of my feet?
Unknown Speaker 10:24
Then it would have been like, cool. That's the kind of thing I want to hear on the board.
Unknown Speaker 10:29
Your board member of Taiwan FOREO now?
Unknown Speaker 10:35
Yeah, I just, that just felt weird. Yeah, it didn't like it. You're in, you're sitting in my booth. Like,
Unknown Speaker 10:44
no, not this. This belongs to Mr. And Mrs. Steiner.
Unknown Speaker 10:51
I think even after I was like, Why did they do that? Or whatever. And then, um, our other friend that was with us free lanes, she was like, our husband died in Slough. And I just, I was like, like, yeah, I got that. But like, Why? Why would they do that?
Unknown Speaker 11:07
I don't know. I think you and I are just like, not that social. So like, if that was me, in my husband's booth, we were just like, think that I feel I need to tell other people, you know, maybe that is a normal person thing and let us know.
Unknown Speaker 11:27
We lost half our listener base.
Unknown Speaker 11:32
Just say things, okay, like, say you're sorry, and move on. No, I will not. Like, that's nice. Yeah, like the other thing that I did like that, I thought was like, kind of annoying. And I know that I was being an annoying douchebag. But um, someone posted an article at work. And it was just some stupid Elon Musk thing, and had briefly read stuff about it already. So I was just like, yeah, and I was like, like, this other person. I didn't read the article, but this, this and that. And they're like, oh, you should have read the article. It's really short. And I just come on and be like, don't fucking tell me what to do. So I just replied, man.
Unknown Speaker 12:09
That was so awesome. And then someone, someone else responded with a melty face. And that person is all about like, what is it?
Unknown Speaker 12:21
What is it philosophy and, like, just being smart and learning philosophy and debating this and like, I get, I get the whole philosophy thing, but it also annoys the fuck out of me, because it's like, a lot of the people that are into it and discussing it are super pretentious. Yes. Yeah. Like I responded with like, a melty face. And I was like, alright, multifaith tried to kind of stick up for you when someone kind of when you felt like someone kind of called you out, but I won't be doing that.
Unknown Speaker 12:53
butthole and it's like, we're, I don't know, sometimes. I've just had jobs where I'm like, can you just let me fucking work and go home? Like, I don't want to do this, like mandatory employee party thing? Yeah, like, yeah, just don't like do the work and go like, this isn't my passion. If you aren't giving me money, I wouldn't be here. Like, why do we need to have like a community? Yeah, where we all just like, pretend like we like that. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 13:23
We all just want to be at brunch with our friends. Yeah, talking about talking about my hometown Emporium. That's all we're trying to say.
Unknown Speaker 13:31
Yeah, maybe I need a new job. I'm not suited for this happening to talk people think.
Unknown Speaker 13:38
Well, speaking of jobs, and people that often don't have jobs because a woman's role is in the home. You guessed it we're going to talk about crunchy mom crunchy mom crunchy
Unknown Speaker 13:54
crunch crunch. So I've decided to
Unknown Speaker 13:58
join multiple crunchy mom groups. I thought it would be good podcast information.
Unknown Speaker 14:05
It is it is a lot of it was pretty depressing. For reasons I won't go into. But
Unknown Speaker 14:14
I thought I'd talk about since we're in the Christmas season when we're recording this. We'll talk about some toys the old days not Merry Christmas.
Unknown Speaker 14:25
I went a little backwards from the Starbucks cup, man. Oh shit. I forgot I had that stuff too. Oh, well, I'll say okay. Yeah, it wasn't that great. But anyway, I found a book that was about the war on Christmas. I can stupefied.
Unknown Speaker 14:43
So just a little intro to the crunchy moms group. Some of them are more active than others.
Unknown Speaker 14:52
Oh, are these like making fun of crunchy? These are people that this looks like? Yeah, this is their life and they believe it. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 15:00
Yeah, they're super into it. Like, there is some stuff that people post and I'm like, okay, yeah, like herbs are good. Yeah, that's fine. Like liver king like, yeah, some stuff that's like, alright. Yeah, that's fine. Cool. Yeah, like, enough is good. Yeah, I can get behind that. But yeah, a lot of it's stupid.
Unknown Speaker 15:22
So feel like a classic crunchy mom thing is they don't like vaccines. They're antivax which, if you're in adults, do whatever I guess. But it's kind of a sketch when you're talking about your kids. Yeah. Yeah. depressing. But some here's some alternate names that they use for vaccines, because I guess you know, Facebook and different bots and stuff will pick up on like, COVID misinformation. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 15:55
So they often call it the jab, jabs, etc. which I was telling you I think they that's like a British term and I don't think it's supposed to be like a bad thing. I think they just call it vaccines jabs. Oh, can you get the job? Yeah, I could be completely wrong. Correct me if I'm wrong, but maybe it's short for Jabberwocky? I don't think
Unknown Speaker 16:20
I'll finish or wait till you're done drinking. Okay, so another common one, they call it cupcakes. I don't know where that comes from. They just say cupcakes instead of vaccines.
Unknown Speaker 16:34
All right. And they sound like kids trying to like make up code words for like drugs.
Unknown Speaker 16:42
There was a chick that posted. She posted screenshots which I'll put on the Instagram. But I guess she posted like a COVID vaccine video talking about how you know COVID is bad. And it got taken down. So she like posted the screenshot of like Facebook telling her it was going against any guidelines.
Unknown Speaker 17:04
She says since I can't post the video itself, look it up. says you'll have to decode
Unknown Speaker 17:12
rum bull under the correctly spelled version of died. Suddenly, like this, this kind of QE. Yeah. So she has the word. I guess maybe rum bowl. I don't know what that is. Maybe that's like a person's last name. And then it's died spelled out dy Ed and then Sud din Li.
Unknown Speaker 17:39
So she doesn't want to write like died suddenly, because it'll get flagged again. Oh, okay. says I do not recommend watching if you've had any of the cupcakes, or boo stirs like the word Bucha. And the word stirs.
Unknown Speaker 17:56
And nobody commented on it, which I was surprised nobody liked it or anything.
Unknown Speaker 18:01
Like the that makes it like even more cringy it's just like, Ooh, you put out this big paragraph of stuff. And then no one even that. Or maybe they have a secret conversation going about it. Maybe like, Ah, maybe the soy the movie. She had to look up. You'd have to decode it. But it was rumbled, died, said Dan Lee. Yeah, I don't know what Rumble is. Or who that is seen either. But yeah, like, I'm just very curious. They died from a COVID vaccine. Oh, okay. So this is like a made up person. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 18:36
They also call vaccines the thing. They're like, Oh my God, you would have to get the thing to go to that daycare.
Unknown Speaker 18:46
They also do like Vax with an at sign for the A. And then this one I'd never heard of before. I don't dance with Maxine. So I guess that rhymes with vaccine.
Unknown Speaker 19:00
Wow. That's so dumb. Yeah, I guess I have to give a lot of these people like creativity point. Like, yeah, never heard the Maxine. Yeah, like the smallest amount of creativity points. Because this is like
Unknown Speaker 19:16
I would be proud of a five year old for coming.
Unknown Speaker 19:21
On the fridge and then like you find out they're an adult. It's like oh, oh shit. Oh, fuck no.
Unknown Speaker 19:29
Well, I follow this chick on Tik Tok. That sounds like kind of a whole other story. But her account name is really very crunchy. And I thought she kind of like, she makes videos kind of like poking fun, like crunchy moms and more like, is she a little crunchy herself?
Unknown Speaker 19:50
That she's like, there's nothing wrong with alternative stuff. And there's no such thing as like a pipeline like it's okay for people to think however they will
Unknown Speaker 20:00
Want like there's not a wellness to white supremacy pipeline, so I'm kind of like iffy on her now. Because I'm like, Oh, these videos are just like true. They're maybe not like funny. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Damn. Anyway
Unknown Speaker 20:16
what's her name again? Green. Really very crunchy. Okay. She's a weird lady.
Unknown Speaker 20:24
But anyway, like in some of her videos, she would talk about different like kids toys. And I thought some of them were funny, so I thought we would do a little Christmas round up for what you can get your crunchy kids.
Unknown Speaker 20:39
Or this might come out after Christmas so that
Unknown Speaker 20:43
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 20:45
So crunchy moms are really big on open ended toys which an open ended toy would be like something that doesn't serve one purpose. So like a doll Legos Play Doh, like you can kind of make it whatever you want a multi tool knife. So like a puzzle that wouldn't be an open ended toy because a puzzle you're just putting it together. Which I'm like, that's cool.
Unknown Speaker 21:11
But some of the toys that they have for open ended play I'm like that's not a toy. Oh, like silverware and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 21:23
So one of the things that I guess they're really into something called a play silk and did you ever learn to juggle and gym class where you have like the scarves? No. It's not a thing.
Unknown Speaker 21:36
In my Texas public school, they like try to teach you to juggle and it was just these like scarves and you would rodeo clown shit.
Unknown Speaker 21:44
That's the thing.
Unknown Speaker 21:46
These radio clowns will play soaks, it's just like a piece of stuff. It's not even real. So it's something else and you're supposed to play a piece of fabric Yeah, is it weighted? Does it have a weight in it or your fabric just like a thin little like trying to look for something like a scarf? Yeah fine. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 22:08
I feel like it took us so long to like describe a fabric the fabric
Unknown Speaker 22:15
never seen it
Unknown Speaker 22:21
I'll put a picture on Instagram so you don't have to wonder what it looks like.
Unknown Speaker 22:26
So I found this website for play silks and you know it's like oh you can use it to you know for like a backpack to hold things in or you can tie it like a sling if you're pretending to play doctor like those are some normal ones but
Unknown Speaker 22:44
there were some uses that I was like these are funny so I'm going to read them Yes. One of them was you can make machine
Unknown Speaker 22:56
way bigger piece of fabric.
Unknown Speaker 22:59
Jeanne pans
Unknown Speaker 23:02
MC Hammer pants.
Unknown Speaker 23:04
You can make all kinds of different lots of pants. Have a bath with a few wet silk feels interesting. I'm like, you know
Unknown Speaker 23:16
feels weird to just have fabric chillin
Unknown Speaker 23:20
math. No, I don't like that one. This one I legitimately don't know what it means and I could be stupid. It says brown for the Earth.
Unknown Speaker 23:31
Ground through the earth brown for the earth round for the Earth
Unknown Speaker 23:38
maybe liver king knows I have no fucking clue what
Unknown Speaker 23:43
Yeah, I thought that one was weird. Like make a toilet
Unknown Speaker 23:50
it's the adjective for poop or weight not adjective Noun.
Unknown Speaker 23:55
Verb verb is let you do
Unknown Speaker 24:00
take me way too long to get Yeah, brown means poop so maybe you use that as toilet paper yeah maybe that's the only things that my brain my brain can connect right now so
Unknown Speaker 24:12
this last one I think
Unknown Speaker 24:17
says jump off things and try to fly
Unknown Speaker 24:22
whoa whoa wait
Unknown Speaker 24:27
that's very insane
Unknown Speaker 24:30
Yeah, oh five someone's gonna break their fucking leg or tailbone or some shit that's
Unknown Speaker 24:39
Yeah
Unknown Speaker 24:44
sir.
Unknown Speaker 24:46
Oh another thing that is a free thing that you could give your child but it's it's quality time. A popular crunchy mom thing is to
Unknown Speaker 25:00
do this thing called 1000 hours outside. And it's your goal for the year to spend 1000 hours outside in the year. Okay, which is 41.6 full days. Whoa, okay. And there's 365 days in a year. Yeah. So it's a lot of them. It is. I feel like I don't even know how to gauge that. Like, I don't know how much I go outside. So I don't know if it's like, would be more reasonable than I'm thinking. I feel like it's a big day.
Unknown Speaker 25:31
Yeah, I feel like it's a lot. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 25:35
I also think 300,000 Miles is
Unknown Speaker 25:39
how much is on my car. So I don't know how.
Unknown Speaker 25:43
I mean, I feel like I'm outside. I would say at least an hour a day, but to do 1000 hours. That would take me three years at that, you know, very good way to frame it. Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 25:58
Bud. Okay. Yeah, that's, um, yeah, that's hard. Yeah. So that's the thing that you can do.
Unknown Speaker 26:07
They take your sheet of fabric outside.
Unknown Speaker 26:11
That's where you Brown for. Whatever that means.
Unknown Speaker 26:16
Oh, I guess we'll save that one for last, I saw a website that is popular with crunchy moms. It's a brand called elves and angels.
Unknown Speaker 26:28
Because assuming they think that those are real.
Unknown Speaker 26:32
Probably.
Unknown Speaker 26:34
It's like a company a good company because you don't want your toys to have plastic. Because, you know, micro plastics are a real thing. But you know, also like endocrine disruptors and all the other crunchy things associated with plastic. So it's just like a bunch of wooden. It's a bunch of like wood toys. Often they're not painted. They're just very, like, bland and bland.
Unknown Speaker 27:03
This company elves and angels make stuffed animals. And you know, it's all good stuff and cotton and not in a fake stuff. I mean, I wouldn't say I'm completely Yeah, against that. No, no, it's totally fine. But this goes back to kind of the thing we were talking about with liver King about how like, some things aren't realistic for everyone and not accessible to everyone. Guess how much the cheapest stuffed animal is just for like a fucking bunny. $45.57 on sale. Oh, damn, on sale.
Unknown Speaker 27:39
Yeah. And then they go up in price to $99. And the ones just like normal size just goes, dude. And the $99 one was on sale for $140 Jesus Christ.
Unknown Speaker 27:57
Yeah. So it's almost like it's not for everyone, just rich people. I mean, I'm also curious to you about like, how legit they are about being, you know, like, no plastics and this and that. Oh, I bet they are like, this amount. And well, I mean, I feel like some companies say that they're, like, certain ways just so they can charge more, but they actually like cheap out on the actual product or like and even some cases, I saw this one thing where this guy was like, our company's like, totally recyclable like organic, blah, blah, blah. are not recyclable. What's the word compostable? Oh, but it was like for coconut drink. But he had like a fucking plastic thing inserted for like, the drink thing. And he was like, Oh, well, that's just until, until we can become all compostable. I'm like, come on, come on. I guess I'm just always looking for someone to rip me off. So I'm just like, those people probably aren't doing what they're saying. Yeah, and there was a another Facebook group. This chick was talking about that about how some like subscription box that she got, like, the outside of something was organic cotton, but like the Fill was like, poly fill or some like shitting material and and guess how this Facebook post ended up going? To transphobia?
Unknown Speaker 29:28
Even like, make that leap? Well, I guess this brands like a bunch of people were like, Yeah, I'm disappointed in them, blah, blah, blah. And then this one bit, she was like, Yeah, and look at this post that they made the other week, like,
Unknown Speaker 29:43
you know, maybe some people don't have traditional values, but I do. And it was basically like the company was saying,
Unknown Speaker 29:53
Sorry, Oh, good. You know, you go. It was basically like, you know, sometimes little boys want to wear dresses too.
Unknown Speaker 30:00
Play and like that's okay. And then yeah, so the mom like posted this and all these other people were agreeing and it was like, it's just grooming at this point.
Unknown Speaker 30:14
Yeah, yeah, I just I hate that. Um,
Unknown Speaker 30:18
I just hate the word. Traditional value. Yeah. Because it's just like, it just means like racism and
Unknown Speaker 30:26
I'm just being I'm just racist, but that's okay. It's like traditional family. Oh, God, I hate it so much.
Unknown Speaker 30:35
Yeah, definitely a bummer. In this group. I don't know how long I'm gonna last.
Unknown Speaker 30:41
There's a chick that posted in one of the groups and she was looking for brands that were like good plastic free toys.
Unknown Speaker 30:51
Ashley rolls up on this post. And she puts a picture of a stick. And then she leaves another comment, she puts a picture of a pile of leaves. And then she leaves another comment. And she puts a picture of a stack of rocks. And then she does another comment. And it is a pile of dirt. So she has one to four different pictures. That's a sad boy for a kid like this play with the sticks and leaves. It's fine. She said, These things are usually found at nature or us. So she's smug.
Unknown Speaker 31:29
And you know what? She probably grew up with all kinds of fucking toys, probably. And it was like, I don't want my kids to be happy. Yeah, there's some sticks.
Unknown Speaker 31:38
I'd rather just not deal with them. Go outside.
Unknown Speaker 31:42
And then someone named Kai Lin, who was very active in this particular name spelled K y li n. Okay. I always think like Elaine brazier, yes. Yeah. tidelands. Also, definitely very antivax. And another post, she posted about how she got a religious exemption for her husband. So to give to his job, so it wouldn't have to get the COVID vaccine. But they're not religious at all. But yeah, but anyway, Kylan says
Unknown Speaker 32:13
Kailyn says, was coming here to say rocks and flowers.
Unknown Speaker 32:20
Oh, by the way, by the way, rocks and flowers.
Unknown Speaker 32:24
And I guess they just they'll give tiny rocks to their babies. Maybe it's good for the babies if they choke on rocks, I don't know. Seems like a weird choice mother nature intended.
Unknown Speaker 32:39
It's natural, though. So I mean, it's natural.
Unknown Speaker 32:43
Brown for there. That means
Unknown Speaker 32:47
there's a couple other like boring toys. But this one will transition me transition us to our regular toys that I'm going to talk about. Ooh, the ones with plastic. Yay, plastic.
Unknown Speaker 33:04
These are some crunchy dolls.
Unknown Speaker 33:08
Oops.
Unknown Speaker 33:11
They called country dolls or they just body crunchiness Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 33:16
This is a they're called wooden peg dolls. This one specifically is a wooden peg man.
Unknown Speaker 33:29
So it's basically
Unknown Speaker 33:32
yeah, these are the adults that they're supposed to play with. It's, it's a it's like a chess piece. Yeah, it's like a round circle of circles around but it's round. And then like a square. So it's supposed to be like a head on top of a body or like a torso. And that's their dolls. Yeah, it's very
Unknown Speaker 33:51
fast. I feel like I've seen some little tiny dolls like that, like as a set. And they were all like painted as Oh, yeah. So it's like, oh, we're construction workers or whatever. But like not just like,
Unknown Speaker 34:07
here. Here. I guess though, you probably have to leave it blank that way. Like you wouldn't want your son to pick up a princess doll to play with? Oh, of course. Yeah. So you need it blank that way he could like, pick it up. And you know, pretend it's an action figure. Yeah, it would it wouldn't be traditional values if he picked up a princess. Oh, sorry. We're doing traditional values. Yeah, bad. I get with it. Yeah. But it's kind of funny because like,
Unknown Speaker 34:37
I feel like people that are on this end of the crunchiness spectrum, like a lot of these people are like leaned more towards like right wing or left left. Well, I feel like that's where they could both converge because I feel like super left people would be like, I don't want to give my kid a toy.
Unknown Speaker 34:55
And then like these people are also like, I don't want to give my kid with a toy. He was identifying more
Unknown Speaker 35:00
You're in, like, mix up, like what there's, quote, supposed to be or choose to be or whatever. That's a very good point. Yeah, it is very interesting because like, to me, I would fall into that like, oh, yeah, I wouldn't want to give them something with a marker so they can be imaginative. Not like the other way. Yeah. And that's like, you know, I've always kind of been, like, that type of way. And I didn't even realize that there were the people that were like, Oh, I don't want to give them a princess peg doll. That's gay. I didn't even realize that those people existed. Oh, shit. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 35:38
If I have a kid, I'll just give them what they seem interested in. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 35:43
Yeah, it's a I won't know what they're interested in until they can express that. But you know? Yeah, it's scary now to be like, oh, yeah, I like a more natural lifestyle. Because it could mean that you're cool. Or it could mean that you're a Nazi. Yeah, no. Yeah. It's scary now. Yeah, lots of
Unknown Speaker 36:04
Yeah, I don't know if you saw this recently. But Kanye was on Alex Jones. Oh, yeah, it's the same some way off the wall shit that even like Alex Jones was like, uncomfortable. I loved watching Alex Jones try to be like
Unknown Speaker 36:20
rolling right. Kanye was like, No, I won't Hitler. I'm just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, my God. Oh my god. Yeah. Oh my fucking god. Can we just like
Unknown Speaker 36:36
not give this man a microphone anymore? Like, this is insane. Yeah, I think Alex Jones is one of those people that like, of course, he's into conspiracy but maybe tries to stay a little bit more ambiguous. So like, Nazis will follow him but also non Nazis. So I think it was like too polarizing for him to have Kanye because he was like, Oh, I'm gonna like piss off half of my like, nut job fan base. Like I kind of stay a little more neutral. It's weird. I don't know. Let's just a weird whole sub domain of humanity. Yeah, super weird.
Unknown Speaker 37:14
Well, now we'll go into some
Unknown Speaker 37:17
real people toys
Unknown Speaker 37:20
that are actually cool, cool and fun.
Unknown Speaker 37:26
And we'll do some more dolls. I didn't don't have any more Barbie stuff right now. I eventually want to get back and do more of that like it did last year. But
Unknown Speaker 37:37
there are some other dolls that have been taken off the market for being really weird.
Unknown Speaker 37:43
There's a Tarzan doll
Unknown Speaker 37:47
that was taken off the shelves in 1999
Unknown Speaker 37:51
because basically it looked like he was jacking off
Unknown Speaker 37:57
so it was like I had like a movement like
Unknown Speaker 38:03
BIA he did his like ah, whatever the little sound that he did was and he's supposed to have his hands going but yeah, it looks like oh god
Unknown Speaker 38:17
it's like right here.
Unknown Speaker 38:20
He's just pounding. Oh
Unknown Speaker 38:25
great, Jamie's doors.
Unknown Speaker 38:28
Yeah, we have that one.
Unknown Speaker 38:32
doll that I was listening to a YouTube video on the way over here and found this one.
Unknown Speaker 38:38
Probably going to butcher the pronunciation but basically looks like baby glove tone. Glove tone. Cool. I thought it was French but it's Spanish. Oh, it translates to glutton baby.
Unknown Speaker 38:57
Does it you just feed it or something? Well, what you do
Unknown Speaker 39:02
is you put on this little bra.
Unknown Speaker 39:07
And the bra has like little flowers where the nipples would be and then you hold the baby up to the flowers and the baby like like socks. We and make some sucking noises so I have a little video pulled up fogging. We're
Unknown Speaker 39:25
um yeah, that doesn't sound appropriate which really
Unknown Speaker 39:33
I feel uncomfortable watching
Unknown Speaker 39:51
Wait, so
Unknown Speaker 39:56
So that's real, or I that's just
Unknown Speaker 40:00
That's just really crazy. This mean came out and you're up in 19 Oh, wait, no, no, I'm sorry in 2009 Whoa, it just have you ever watched Impractical Jokers? You know when they make up like the fake products and stuff? Seems like it would be that one of those. It's really it's real and you know, it was to teach girls you know about like how to take care of a baby and like breastfeeding a baby and stuff but yeah, people were like, we don't fucking like this. Yeah, they told it. That's insane. I I can't believe that even got through like they're like, not quality testing. But you know, like market. Yeah. 2009 So not that long ago. fucking weird. And just to explain the video, it was like, a, it was a little girl with like the, I guess I would call it like a sports bra. Like a loose sports bra with how you describe the flowers. She's holding the baby and the baby's just like it. And then she holds the head up to her
Unknown Speaker 41:05
flower.
Unknown Speaker 41:07
And it's just like,
Unknown Speaker 41:11
and like, no one's saying anything during the video. You just hear like the baby noises and then she's like, What do I do next? Oh, yeah, well burp it.
Unknown Speaker 41:19
Was this uncomfortable? I don't like that. Yeah, it retailed for 44 euros, which is $55 worth the price. Yeah. Or it was $55 at the time of that conversion.
Unknown Speaker 41:35
We also have the trolls World Tour, giggle and saying Poppy troll doll.
Unknown Speaker 41:45
So trolls world tour that came out fairly recently, like within the last couple of years, because I remember my coworker. Like his daughter wanted to see it. But it was the you know, the movies were closed because of COVID. And it was like a million dollars to stream it. So that's how I know about troll trolls World Tour. But I guess this puppy though.
Unknown Speaker 42:09
It was she had a button like on the bottom of her that looked like it was in between her legs.
Unknown Speaker 42:16
And when you push it the button would be like
Unknown Speaker 42:20
like making noises. But I guess what it was supposed to be was like when she was sitting and like you touched her something that she made the noises now so supposed to be used from the seated position. But that's weird. Let's that tickle button. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 42:40
That one's super cool. Maybe we should cut this
Unknown Speaker 42:45
weird. Why are these people making toys? Like who? Who allowed these people to make toys? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 42:52
They're fucking crazy. One that's not disgusting.
Unknown Speaker 42:59
It's the cabbage patch snack time, kids. And I forgot to write what year this came out. But sometime in the 90s it was a little dull. That you would feed like french fries and different foods too. And it would actually eat them it would it would chew. Well, kids started getting their hair like caught in that. So the doll would chew and I mean it wouldn't stop until it reached the end of the object. That's how it was. Yeah, so people had a doll like her kids had a doll like right up here to there
Unknown Speaker 43:34
and there was no way to stop it
Unknown Speaker 43:38
damn, I guess they had to like cut their hair or something that's Yeah cut their hair or like rip it out but that's pretty terrifying what an oversight on on their companies.
Unknown Speaker 43:50
Like what is it bit your fingers or something like that? And probably
Unknown Speaker 43:55
it was like a big settlement thing. Like I think maybe the doll cost like $30 but if you turned it back and you got 40 or something like that. See, these are things that like I want to avoid as a programmer like I don't want a job where I have to program something like that because if you have bad like quality assurance, like
Unknown Speaker 44:15
you have to catch all of that stuff or else you're gonna get sued. Yeah, you got to realize that the Tarzan doll looks like it's checking off yeah, like I
Unknown Speaker 44:24
the only thing I can say is it's probably just a product of companies trying to push things out very quickly.
Unknown Speaker 44:31
Yeah
Unknown Speaker 44:37
Did the pregnancy Barbie get pulled off the shelf? I think so. I think so. I found this thing that ended up being fake but I thought it was really funny.
Unknown Speaker 44:50
Think I remember that dog's name was mage or something. Mage. Look at me.
Unknown Speaker 44:56
There's this thing that somebody like an artist
Unknown Speaker 45:00
made, but it's called baby's first baby. And it's supposed to be like a pregnant baby
Unknown Speaker 45:10
and that was on different toilets. So it's like there's no way it's real and it's not. Yeah, it's a it's a fake toy that somebody may just be a jackass but babies babies pregnant babies first baby babies baby is pregnant.
Unknown Speaker 45:27
I remember I had I think it was called Baby checkup doll. And I was like, Yeah, you have like little stethoscope and you could like hear the heartbeat and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 45:36
Oh, that was my idol.
Unknown Speaker 45:39
That's the whole someone. Yeah, I meant to bring my cabbage patch doll with me so that we could Oh yeah, I had one of those fish sitting here. staring at us. Which one did you have? Um, I don't remember. I think it had blonde hair.
Unknown Speaker 45:54
I just remembered like the setup at Costco where they just had a small patch like setup.
Unknown Speaker 46:02
The one I have is like a
Unknown Speaker 46:05
it's a birthday one. And I guess the body part is like a stuffed animal like soft so you can squeeze it so you could put like a little kazoo in the mouth and then squeeze it. I would make the kazoo go. That's pretty cute.
Unknown Speaker 46:20
Bring back Cabbage Patch. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 46:25
Oh, this is a toy that would be up your alley. This came out in the mid 2000s.
Unknown Speaker 46:33
It's the CSI fingerprint examination kit. Ooh, that's so cool. But the problem was that it had a gun.
Unknown Speaker 46:47
It had a gun.
Unknown Speaker 46:49
It had a rare form of asbestos in the fingerprint dusting order the kit fee it and it didn't write down what type of asbestos it is but it's one that like if you get exposed to it like you're gonna get cancer. Oh leaf cancer. cm Do you know like how many of those were like sold? I don't know how many were sold. It was in the mid 2000s and six out of eight kits that they recalled were had that in it. Whoa, okay. Damn.
Unknown Speaker 47:24
That's like so I was just thinking like I bought some toys for Toys for Tots. I hope none of them are like cancer is because I got you know, like a crystal growing like stuff and like a solar robot. Which one for King might be against?
Unknown Speaker 47:40
Sorry, kids.
Unknown Speaker 47:43
So no know. It just happens. Sometimes you'd probably start boxing. Okay. Lisa, don't put light in them anymore. I mean, not like we're replacing it with anything better. Who knows what's gonna happen with microplastics in our bodies one day, so it is funny you say that though? Because there was a deck of Hannah Montana playing cards that had led in it so don't recall why Yeah, Jesus Christ. Man. I just like almost want to just buy toys from elves and angels like
Unknown Speaker 48:12
this is how we supposed to trust
Unknown Speaker 48:16
Hasbro they make fucking Weegee boards. We can't trust them.
Unknown Speaker 48:22
Next episode Jamie's gonna be like we're going to the cat
Unknown Speaker 48:29
Gina that video that specific one is Jake and OH GOD IS SHE blonde? I just picked her her being like this blonde. She has like brown hair. And she had just gotten like take not tased but like tear gas or something. So she's trying to like get over that. And she's like, I'm Elizabeth from Knoxville, Tennessee. We're storming the Capitol.
Unknown Speaker 48:54
You'll remember my name?
Unknown Speaker 48:56
Like oh, yeah, they came to a rescue now that they have your name?
Unknown Speaker 49:01
Yeah, definitely put that one on Instagram because I love it. Okay, he also looked at one
Unknown Speaker 49:10
Oh, since we're talking about crunchy moms again. I forgot that we have a little game. Oh, yes.
Unknown Speaker 49:19
So this game is called What's your crunchy elf name? See, and it's one of these little games where you take like your first initial of your last name, your month of birth, and then your day of birth. And then you get your elf name. And I think we should do our elf names and then I'll read through some of the options because they're hilarious. Okay, so the letter of your last name is C. So that's crackle. You were born in June. Say your crackle the gluten free eaten composter. It's your elf name.
Unknown Speaker 49:58
I don't
Unknown Speaker 50:00
necessarily disagree with it like you're free a lot because Brandon and I do have a comp
Unknown Speaker 50:08
pretty accurate accurate man This thing's better than a fucking
Unknown Speaker 50:13
horoscope it is so for me we have
Unknown Speaker 50:21
my first name is flap to flap to you
Unknown Speaker 50:28
don't even know what I don't either flap to the essential Oh sniffing poop tester
Unknown Speaker 50:37
like fits the poop tester fits me
Unknown Speaker 50:43
like I'm testing the pH of the spool by Shell
Unknown Speaker 50:47
and how much the balance is
Unknown Speaker 50:50
how much pH my poop
Unknown Speaker 50:56
all the first initial ones are just like stupid little names like dopey Poppy stuff like that but a month of birth is the funny ones.
Unknown Speaker 51:06
So we have the essential oil sniffing the Rio reusable toilet using reusable toilet paper using
Unknown Speaker 51:16
the menstrual cup wherein I mean that was fine nothing wrong with that
Unknown Speaker 51:22
the organic obsessed
Unknown Speaker 51:25
and then if you're born in May part of your elf name is the vaccine avoiding ah okay okay, then we have your June gluten free eaten
Unknown Speaker 51:37
in July the label readin August the coconut oil rubbin
Unknown Speaker 51:43
September the uncircumcised
Unknown Speaker 51:47
Oh, okay. That's the big crunchy thing is they're like very against circumcision. Okay, I don't know much about it. Um, I was told it was a hygienic thing, but I feel like we live in such a hygienic time that it's fine to just not do it. Yeah, it's like a whole a whole thing like yeah, people say for hygiene but then
Unknown Speaker 52:15
I just lost my train of thought or skin foreskin. Oh people are like oh it's like a sex crime because you're like cutting this baby without its consent and taking away a part of its body part so that's why that's on here I think because that's like a whole crunchy thing. Oh, okay. Gotcha they would never do that
Unknown Speaker 52:36
October the net milk drink in November look him Bucha makin Elia and December the mason jar collecting
Unknown Speaker 52:48
watches me. I feel like I'm Yeah, Bill says I think I'm kind of like half crunchy.
Unknown Speaker 52:56
Some of these things. I'm like, Yeah, I do that.
Unknown Speaker 53:01
Yeah, but you also don't think Hitler's a good guy. That's yeah, that's the difference. Very that's where you draw the line between like, the bad crunchy and the good crunchy.
Unknown Speaker 53:13
But yeah, for the date of birth portion. I'll read some of them that we didn't get to see.
Unknown Speaker 53:21
Grocery judger
Unknown Speaker 53:24
forest fairy, which I guess you're right, they do believe in fairies and elves.
Unknown Speaker 53:31
Listen to eater
Unknown Speaker 53:34
comes through lush it up.
Unknown Speaker 53:38
co sleeper, hippy. homeschooler water Bursar.
Unknown Speaker 53:47
Now why don't you scare me because I just I worry the baby's gonna drown. I know it's probably not because I use probably like scoop it up very quickly. But I'm just like, ah, yeah, cuz I think the thing is like it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in water in your body. So no fluid and like, yeah, it goes to a different water and then out. So
Unknown Speaker 54:10
yeah, I don't know how long it takes before it drowns though. That's a good question. How long does it take for a baby? Like if you leave them in there? Will they just be a mermaid? Yeah, just never bring them out of the water.
Unknown Speaker 54:21
Because like I I don't know, I guess I'm just curious of like, when is like, not traumatic to transition them out of the water? Oh, yeah. I feel like wouldn't it just be traumatic to like, take them out of the pool anyway? Yeah, maybe it's like a baby step thing Yeah, maybe it's like a warm water cold water. I don't know. I don't know baby science.
Unknown Speaker 54:43
I'm Alyssa grabs Jamie's Christmas presents. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 54:50
birthday gifts.
Unknown Speaker 54:53
Um, it smells good to you. I don't know why it smells like that. So let's look got me a gift and I'm about
Unknown Speaker 55:00
Hold on. I haven't gotten her gift yet. My butthole wish. So I'm gonna I just have such anxiety about stores that I'm like, I'm gonna start getting gifts together in August.
Unknown Speaker 55:12
Um, I am going to save this tissue paper. Oh yes, definitely. Because I'm like crunchy mom.
Unknown Speaker 55:21
It's good for the planet. I'm a crunchy lady.
Unknown Speaker 55:24
Okay, let's see. Oh my god. I see some stuff in there. But oh, wait. Oh, wait.
Unknown Speaker 55:31
I love it. It's a cross stitch that says I am cringy but I am free. This is gonna like go yay. Go up here. Up here somewhere. I was so excited when I II found the pattern. I was like, yes. Yeah, that's so perfect. I love it.
Unknown Speaker 55:47
Oh, this is cool. It's a pet alert. So like if we're not home. And there's a fire. We can put we can tell them how many cats are in the house. That's something I never thought of. Thank you
Unknown Speaker 56:04
so a lamp. It looks like pushing like a little kitty light on the whole thing lights up. This is cool. That was one that I was like okay, you got it for Jamie. You have to give it to Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 56:19
Yeah, I've had a couple things like that.
Unknown Speaker 56:22
I remember how it turns on. Oh, here we go. Oh, it made like a little sound when it came on to I shouldn't put this by my bed when I sleep.
Unknown Speaker 56:33
Supposed to change colors but I don't know how
Unknown Speaker 56:37
I can figure it out.
Unknown Speaker 56:39
It's cute. Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 56:41
And here
Unknown Speaker 56:45
I'll just go with the unwrap stuff because it's awesome.
Unknown Speaker 56:48
So I have a
Unknown Speaker 56:50
Evil Dead I don't know why I can't think of his name.
Unknown Speaker 56:55
Who that was but
Unknown Speaker 56:57
her ash Bruce Campbell's actor Ash is this thing.
Unknown Speaker 57:02
Ah, it's a little oh, what's gonna come Friday it's a little Jason Vorhees pops. His eyes even like halfway like closed
Unknown Speaker 57:17
his heads even like the form to
Unknown Speaker 57:21
didn't notice.
Unknown Speaker 57:23
And then a Freddy Krueger. Yes. They need to make one of the the other guy that's like what all the time
Unknown Speaker 57:33
Yeah, in the second Freddy Krueger movie. There's is it? It's not Johnny Depp, but there's a character that's like yeah, he just always looks like he's been misted with water. Yeah, like he'll just run in from the rain. gets on with swimming practice get really sweaty. It's always what
Unknown Speaker 57:50
that's my motto. Yay.
Unknown Speaker 57:53
Oh, I love this thought. It's like a little
Unknown Speaker 57:57
a little like makeup baggy thing and it says cause of death small talk on a team.
Unknown Speaker 58:03
That's perfect. I need to like find more things like this on Etsy. Oh, and it's 95% recycled material. Oh, thank you for not getting me micro plastic. It's from that brand blue q i think i posted about it on the discord you saw associated with Q is it
Unknown Speaker 58:23
I like this that says awkward is my specialty.
Unknown Speaker 58:28
And then it's filled with oh, sorry, it's a mug that says awkward is my specialty. And it has some gum that says Cut the shit anxiety. I like that.
Unknown Speaker 58:38
When there's a needle Oh shit.
Unknown Speaker 58:43
I can keep it or you can take it. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 58:49
I got the mug like so long ago. And I guess I've I don't know why there's a needle in it. I think I found a needle and was hiding it from the cat. So like, oh,
Unknown Speaker 59:00
yeah, I've definitely done that before. Would you like your wrapping back now? Okay. It will be used.
Unknown Speaker 59:07
Thank you. Those gifts are so awesome. I'm so excited to use them. Brandon's gonna be like you got another coffee. I know like I think I got that before you were like Brandon's making me get rid of mugs. I was like shit No, it's cool cuz I made room in the cabinet with all the mugs. Oh, nice. That's another solution so stuck it
Unknown Speaker 59:27
so I'm keeping a bunch of my mics. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 59:32
Um,
Unknown Speaker 59:33
but yeah, I will hopefully be revealing Ulisses presence probably in January because I can only work on it till I get back from the holidays. But um, yeah, thank you. I can't wait to use all my gifts. These nifty nifty nifty Yes. I'm sure you'll have some good awkward Tales from the land of Mississippi when you get back to
Unknown Speaker 59:59
it
Unknown Speaker 1:00:00
Just closing
Unknown Speaker 1:00:02
my brain does sound like oh
Unknown Speaker 1:00:08
don't don't even fucking know.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:11
But on that note I guess we should get on out of here. The Devil's beaten his wife right and get on the Mississippi Christmas party on fat heads party on thenI
Unknown Speaker 1:00:33
no outtakes today, fat heads toodaloo