The ladies are joined by friend Teena to go over tips for a successful Thanksgiving! From recipes, to pick up lines to etiquette- we have you covered. Don’t forget your toilet table cloth!
The ladies are joined by friend Teena to go over tips for a successful Thanksgiving! From recipes, to pick up lines to etiquette- we have you covered. There's even a listener story, don’t forget your toilet table cloth! ;)
Write us some of your cringe stories at [nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com](mailto:nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com)
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
I have a neighbor that hates us. And it's been like an ongoing problem. its for made up reasons they don't have anything really legitimate. But they've been like calling the cops on us and saying that like oils leaking out from under our fence and like, all this crazy shit, like and so they always have a cops come out. Anyway this has been going on for like 10 years, it's been crazy. But cops like came to talk to us and it's like this serious conversation. It's like kind of emotional. And then they leave and I realized that I had one of those zit stickers right on my face
Unknown Speaker 1:03
it was a heart shaped one that had a rainbow inside
Unknown Speaker 1:14
guy got inside and for whatever reason looks in the mirror. I was like, Are you fucking kidding me?
Unknown Speaker 1:20
Because it was like in a really weird spot, like under my nose. So
Unknown Speaker 1:26
good times. I wonder if they like just if they knew it was that thing or if they were like, oh, it's like some makeup.
Unknown Speaker 1:34
No tail and
Unknown Speaker 1:36
yeah, but welcome to the nervous laughter podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:42
Podcast. I'm Alyssa. We have special guests. Tina here again. Yay, Tina. I guess this one will probably come out before the other ones. So yeah, this is Tina's first time on the podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:57
Yeah, we recorded that order. I don't know why I felt like I needed to tell everyone but
Unknown Speaker 2:04
these are recorded on different days.
Unknown Speaker 2:09
Um, yeah, so this is our Thanksgiving episode. Happy Thanksgiving. Gobble, gobble, gobble. I was gonna try to sing a song but I don't know if there's a Thanksgiving song is there?
Unknown Speaker 2:22
I don't think so. I feel like I should we make a rap next year. My name is Jamie and I'm here to say we're eating pies every day. Yes. Carve your turkey and have some jerky? And we have a listener that wrote him a story. Thank you very much. They did not leave their their name on it. So I'm gonna leave it anonymous.
Unknown Speaker 2:49
But thank you, you know who you are. You're very special. Thank you. And it goes in it goes in it goes a little something like this hit Oh, sorry. That's it was Aaron Carter. How I beat Shaq. I was thinking it was more popular song but people might know but no. Alrighty, by the way, rip crews here and Carter.
Unknown Speaker 3:12
It was an early it was it was early 2000s. And I was living with my family and a small house in Houston. It was a three bedroom house that we somehow crammed my parents, my uncle, my brother, my sister, and myself in come the holidays, we'd have family friends over and the already limited space became even more so. I begin being an awkward idiot that I am and having anxiety preach it brother
Unknown Speaker 3:42
couldn't really cope with the coward with the crowdedness of or amount of people trying to get their food. Even at not holiday meals. I would wait until everyone else had gotten out of the kitchen before making my food to avoid them. I did that as well. We'll get there first because Yeah. And well on this particular Thanksgiving, we had more people over than planned. Don't just ramble. Don't to just randomly show up to Thanksgiving dinner without at least a warning especially not when you have five kids of your own. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 4:17
My anxiety was getting the better of me so I sought out a place that was quiet and private to enjoy my meal and peace. Sadly, none of the room. None of the other rooms were emptied aside from one. I made my plate and snuck off about 30 minutes later I hear people looking for me and then Laughter They figured out there was only run one room in the house. They haven't checked yet. And it's the bathroom.
Unknown Speaker 4:45
Yes, my mother opened the door to find me sat on the floor in front of the toilet, which I had closed the lid to put a cloth over as a table halfway.
Unknown Speaker 5:00
Eating my turkey on peace and quiet.
Unknown Speaker 5:04
I still think that that was the best family thanksgiving meal I'd have and my mom still brings it up every holiday. I'm not as much embarrassed about it as I was able to eat and peace but a normal person probably would be.
Unknown Speaker 5:18
I wouldn't get to sit either. Like, that's amazing. I like the idea of just like a little like, red and white checkered table.
Unknown Speaker 5:27
Toilet. There's a candle and a bottle like dripping. A little bottle of wine like a mini like barefoot
Unknown Speaker 5:37
has a little napkin tucked in or toilet paper, I guess. Oh, yeah. Toilet paper.
Unknown Speaker 5:43
Have you guys ever eaten in the bathroom before? Um, it's always freaked me out. So I don't think I've ever had I think I ever have either. Like, sometimes I'll be, you know, like, you probably not supposed to do this, but just kind of like walking around like eating, like snacking. Like I won't say it. I'll just do that. But not in the bathroom. Yeah, well, one time like I was like, finishing chewing and then I went in the bathroom to go and I was like, Oh, I have food in my mouth and swallow they really quick because even that's a little too much for me. Yeah. Oh, we have like bath snacks. Oh, yeah, bathroom. But I did eat in the bathroom once at school. Because like I didn't. I was like, I don't know where to sit and like, try to figure it out. And I don't want are you?
Unknown Speaker 6:35
Yeah, so I just did that. I don't know if I did it more than once. But, Tina, have you eaten the bathroom? No.
Unknown Speaker 6:45
No, I don't. I don't think so. I'm glad that they put a tablecloth over the toilet at least. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 6:54
I mean, it's a great idea. Um, but yeah, I mean, if you're a kid that's like a perfect solution because you don't know about germs. And you're like, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 7:04
Yeah, I saw a kid like crawling like not not crawling because they were like old enough to walk but like, just bought a car dealership. And they were just like, used car dealership. And they're just like, putting their hands all over the floor and stuff in front of the coffee. And I was like, Ah, yep. Let's.
Unknown Speaker 7:22
Oh, a lot of floor time. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 7:26
That's nasty. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 7:30
I'm really happy that that story turned out differently than I thought. Oh, sorry, thinking. I didn't mean to cut you off. Oh, no, not at all. I thought that when you were emphasizing like, oh, there were more people that showed up and we thought I thought that the person wasn't gonna get any food. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 7:48
the wrong part.
Unknown Speaker 7:51
Fine, it was just like,
Unknown Speaker 7:53
gonna get to have a plate.
Unknown Speaker 7:55
Yeah, I was scared so I'm glad you got your toilet food
Unknown Speaker 8:02
I mean, that just sound bitchy. It just came out that way.
Unknown Speaker 8:06
Enjoy your toilet and
Unknown Speaker 8:09
fucking nerd
Unknown Speaker 8:14
Where are we going next? Are not Black Friday the recipe we could do. Yeah, we could do recipes and
Unknown Speaker 8:22
have a little bit of etiquette for us once you get your plate.
Unknown Speaker 8:28
Um, I can start if you want. I just have a couple. And I'm so sorry if we covered this last year because I feel like you
Unknown Speaker 8:38
but yeah, this is the old jello ad in it.
Unknown Speaker 8:42
It starts the big ad says jello makes leftover turkey tastes like Thanksgiving all over again.
Unknown Speaker 8:50
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 8:52
So this year, you and your family can get as much out of your leftover turkey as you did before it became a leftover. It's as easy to make as it is delicious. I don't think it's gonna be delicious, but Okay. Yep. It's called the cranberry orange ring. Can you wonder like this so far? I thought it was gonna be all the leftovers thrown into like unflavored gelatin. Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 9:22
Two oranges, strawberry jello.
Unknown Speaker 9:25
A little bit of salt water. jellied cranberry sauce, nuts. Turkeys, Turkey salad. Which has okay, you celery. Mayonnaise lemon. Oh, no many shoes. Yeah. So it goes like this. Great. One tablespoon rind of oranges section section the oranges. Finally, Dyson drain sections dissolved Doulton in salted boiling in the boiling water. Stir cranberry sauce until smooth blend into gelatin with what
Unknown Speaker 10:00
The Range chill until slightly thickened fold and fold diced orange and nuts. Pour into five cup mold, chill until then
Unknown Speaker 10:09
total firm and mold and then um, it makes
Unknown Speaker 10:15
make four and a half or eight servings. And then you fill it with the turkey salad. See it sounded good up until the turkey salad
Unknown Speaker 10:25
I love jello and mayonnaise.
Unknown Speaker 10:29
Buddha
Unknown Speaker 10:31
girl thing
Unknown Speaker 10:33
my grandma would make a recipe that was I use the term recipe loosely, but use your canned pears and they would be like the half pears and there's like kind of a little divot divot, where like the seed of the pear is just like a naturally occurring thing. So she would put some miracle whip in the little hole and cheddar cheese. And that was uh oh, a little snack. Hello, is that me here? Cool, but back then I didn't like it. But I kind of want to try it again in modern times, because I felt like maybe I would
Unknown Speaker 11:12
I don't know if that was an age thing.
Unknown Speaker 11:15
You know?
Unknown Speaker 11:17
I mean, I feel like the cheddar cheese would give it like a good bite. I mean, maybe I would rather do a little sour cream and mayo but I mean, yeah, the cheese. Oh kind of economy see better but whips.
Unknown Speaker 11:34
You had met the Miracle Whip. Yeah, no love Miracle Whip. Like, I don't like regular mayonnaise. Really? I would rather have Miracle Whip. I like Miracle Whip only with tuna fish.
Unknown Speaker 11:47
I don't like it. That's how I would make it too. It's too spicy.
Unknown Speaker 11:52
I mean, my mom was one of those moms in the 90s that was just like always dieting aka eating disorders. And things like Miracle Whip and was that like a lower calorie thing or? Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 12:08
Yeah, it's like healthy substitute. I think it has less fat but I feel like it has a lot of sugar in it. Yeah, sweet. I think a lot of dieting stuff back in the day had like high sugar which is this weird.
Unknown Speaker 12:23
And I have another recipe. It is a frozen jellied Turkey vegetable salad. Oh, two envelopes, flavors gelatin. So here's a flavored one. Two cans of condensed cream of celery soup. Four cups finely diced cooked turkey. two packages of frozen mixed vegetables cooked and drained. And one cup of salad dressing. No say which kind does that mean that it's mayo. Usually doesn't didn't that mean mail back in the day that oh actually sorry. Get to that in the well but sorry.
Unknown Speaker 13:04
Line to eight inch square pans with heavy duty Reynolds Wrap allowing enough extra rails wrap to fold over the top softened gelatin in one half cup of cold water heat soup and gelatin stirring until gelatin is dissolved. Add Turkey vegetables and salad dressings. Do not use mayonnaise. Oh so Okay, Miracle
Unknown Speaker 13:30
folding all together gently divide mixture between the two lines pans fold Reynolds Wrap over the top and freeze until firm to hold in storage remove frozen box from pans fold and seal Reynolds Wrap tightly label in return to freezer to thaw and slice for serving place frozen block of jelly mixture in mixture in refrigerator. That's it. That sounds gross book. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 13:57
Yeah, all the frozen things are just like oh, why is this meat dish cold? Yeah. I want to think about it. So a lot of work. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 14:10
Shit mail.
Unknown Speaker 14:12
It's like you cook the turkey for that like just stopped short. Turkey being done.
Unknown Speaker 14:19
Well, thank you. These all sound delicious. Yeah. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe we'll make some for next year. Oh, man. That would be kind of fun. Okay, I'm gonna make the pair mayonnaise or the Miracle Whip thing. Okay. Oh, here. You're gonna try it. I'll try by. Yay.
Unknown Speaker 14:40
Okay.
Unknown Speaker 14:44
Do you have any recipes that you'd like to share? I have a good recipe. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 14:51
What? Just regular jello. No, it's a jello recipe.
Unknown Speaker 14:56
I'm from Utah. Jello salads, not a green
Unknown Speaker 15:00
Hello.
Unknown Speaker 15:01
I'm excited. swirls to have lots of casserole dish with cream mushroom soup. Oh yeah. So this is something that we make every year. I make it my husband hates jello. I'm making my Grams. Grams. Grams. Grandma, grandma. Oh, okay. Two boxes of raspberry jello. Okay, you to solve that with hot water. One can have crushed pineapple. Oh, that's good for the ladies.
Unknown Speaker 15:37
Lady bid
Unknown Speaker 15:40
a ton of blueberry pie filling.
Unknown Speaker 15:43
And you're just mix that all together. Let it sit in the fridge overnight, so it molds together. And then that topping is cool with cream cheese and powdered sugar. Ooh, sounds really good over the top. And then you just let that sit. And you cut it kind of into squares like you would a brownie.
Unknown Speaker 16:09
That actually sounds really good.
Unknown Speaker 16:13
I have one that we make that's pretty similar. And
Unknown Speaker 16:18
I tried to get Chris to try it one time and he was like, I'm not eating that fucking slob.
Unknown Speaker 16:28
He has standards when it comes to his food. This is a delicious food. It's like cottage cheese and cool whip and the powdered jello. And then you mix it all up and you do like a strawberry jello and it does kind of make a slop but it's delicious. She's good. I've orange jello and orange shells. Good lime. Oranges. It's it's good. What else? Sorry.
Unknown Speaker 16:57
Well, the one that my grandma made was like cottage cheese Cool Whip. And then like the jello powder and crushed pineapple. Oh, I feel like oh, like I'm it's all coming back to me. You tried this on their podcast, right? Yeah, I took it and like we played a game and if he lost he was gonna have to eat it, but he wouldn't try it anyway. Oh, good. There's and then yeah, and there's another version. It doesn't have the cottage cheese but you do a brick of cream cheese. I would do that one. Yeah, that was really good. It seems a little off putting but I feel like I'm gonna try it before so go hard on it. Mmm
Unknown Speaker 17:36
hmm. I'm part of the jello loving Utah crew. I mean, jealous. Awesome. Yeah, I love jello. I'm part of the cream of mushroom lovin crew. Yeah, me too. It wasn't a lot of my childhood dishes. Yeah. Same as podcasts. I open it
Unknown Speaker 17:57
you found a recipe in the cookbook for creamed prune pie, right?
Unknown Speaker 18:03
Hi, they are listeners with like that one. Good old cream.
Unknown Speaker 18:10
Oh, yeah. Jamie
Unknown Speaker 18:13
likes cream egg. thing, but she's looking for it. I guess I'll explain them. Creme de la Creme de la on toast. And
Unknown Speaker 18:23
I mean, I understand people thinking it's gross because like, when whenever we moved down here
Unknown Speaker 18:29
my family's like, my parents will suffer from like Nebraska and stuff like that. But yeah, so we would make creamed egg on toast when people slept over or something like that. And we made it for our neighbor one time too and she's like, Oh, I got any that Yankee food and I'll just like, don't cut it.
Unknown Speaker 18:50
Oh, and she worked for the post office later and she just like dumped all the fucking mail and river.
Unknown Speaker 18:58
Tex
Unknown Speaker 19:02
that was a very surprising spin.
Unknown Speaker 19:06
But yeah, so on toast, it's just like you make like a flour butter kind of milk mixture with some salt, pepper and Linna chop up some boiled eggs and mix it in there and put it over some meat it and it sounds like a shingle that you'll ever get on a shingle stripe roast beef. Yeah, okay, I've had that are like chip beef gravy. Usually. Yeah, that was like it is good. Sometimes we would get the yeah the beef stuff to put in the creamed egg on toast. Oh
Unknown Speaker 19:43
did you find Oh, Chip?
Unknown Speaker 19:48
To Love me some salmon eggs. Yeah, I lived in Hawaii when I was younger. So like, oh, which I made up a little song because there's that time that goes. I was raised in the ghetto.
Unknown Speaker 20:00
homie, I was raised off bread and blooney So mine goes. I was raised in Hawaii homie. I was raised off spanning macaroni
Unknown Speaker 20:13
famine Mac is my favorite. So it's Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love spam. I found the recipe. Oh yeah. It's called prune cream pie.
Unknown Speaker 20:26
And the picture is in black and white too, right? Yeah, fortunately the ship
Unknown Speaker 20:32
it says delicious and homey tasting. This prize winning recipe was sent to us by a prize homemaker
Unknown Speaker 20:43
from what is Baytown? Texas? I hope I'm saying that right
Unknown Speaker 20:53
I mean, it sounds like it might be good. It has eggs, flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon milk, prune juice. It just some good old Prem
Unknown Speaker 21:04
but Nila and cut up prunes.
Unknown Speaker 21:10
I don't know if I've tried to prune. I just like an old people thing. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:17
But
Unknown Speaker 21:19
you're constipated. You should eat some prunes. Yeah, okay. Kathy was prunes. I don't know I can't get constipated.
Unknown Speaker 21:27
You can do cans pumpkin for a cat. Oh, okay. So you start out with like, maybe like a teaspoon or something like a little amount. But yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:37
Laughter Yes. Welcome to the nervous cat for part.
Unknown Speaker 21:44
Well, now that we have some good recipes for dinner, I thought maybe we could go over some Thanksgiving etiquette, how to be polite at the table. Oh, and what is the title of this lovely book. So I have an etiquette book from the 70s I think it was 1972 is the windy Ward charm book. And wards used to be a big department store. So this is a book that they put out for like teenage girls. And it's fucking wild.
Unknown Speaker 22:18
Like the thing that it talks about are just fucking weird. Like,
Unknown Speaker 22:25
like, you have your blankets like we're surrounding for, like 40 times.
Unknown Speaker 22:30
Story of womanhood. There's a section called your personality. And it talks about like, how to have a good personality that's like entertaining to other people.
Unknown Speaker 22:44
Please, people around you. Yeah, there's a little thing and it says being interesting. It says
Unknown Speaker 22:51
you should be interesting to others. Okay. That means you must be able to contribute to the conversation in a party in groups large or small or even on a one on one basis. Learn a new party game, especially well when that doesn't require props, so you'll always be ready to such suggest and direct it. That sounds awful. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 23:15
Learn to talk about interests such as music, books, movies, or sports. So you got to be saying you got to be well really? Yes.
Unknown Speaker 23:27
There's a little things called Making friends. The charming girl is interested in virtually all people in all aspects of life. She knows that almost everyone can contribute something to her life. So make new friends don't limit your circle. He knows everybody can contribute something. Can you read that part again? So she knows that almost almost everyone can contribute something to her life. But why you make
Unknown Speaker 23:57
do not understand like, it sounds weird. Like they're a prop or something? Yeah, like you can get something out of these people later. Keep them in mind. says to not limit your circle of friends to just a few if you really want to grow, man, I'm like the opposite of what
Unknown Speaker 24:17
I'm like. I don't go to parties. I'm not interested in sports.
Unknown Speaker 24:23
There's a little section about poise which I feel like is the opposite of us. It says cultivate poise. The poise girl maintains calm when she has a difficult situation to handle. She goes about it naturally and easily and avoids Nervous, nervous movements of the body.
Unknown Speaker 24:43
We got to work on that
Unknown Speaker 24:47
my body only moves nervously pretty spastic sometimes.
Unknown Speaker 24:54
Especially any, like high stress.
Unknown Speaker 24:57
Yeah, we need to work on
Unknown Speaker 25:00
Man,
Unknown Speaker 25:02
and I'm being funny, by the way, not a bitch.
Unknown Speaker 25:05
We don't really need
Unknown Speaker 25:07
you, all you listeners at home should work on it too, by the way. Another thing that you should work on, there's a chapter in this book called The Sound of Music. And basically, it's talking about how your voice can be like music and it like there's a whole section on how to like, practice speaking well and like how to, like articulate and like
Unknown Speaker 25:33
oh, wow, you go through and like rate your voice like with your tempo? Do you speak too fast? Too slow. You're supposed to analyze your volume. If it's too loud, too quiet. The pitch in your voice and the quality like does it sound too nasal to fruity somewhat stuff.
Unknown Speaker 25:55
You get a tape recorder and you fucking record yourself talking. And you listen and you make changes. Let's
Unknown Speaker 26:04
practice that had to be like harder in the 70s because you actually have Oh yeah, fucking tape.
Unknown Speaker 26:11
Stop. Fucking
Unknown Speaker 26:14
analyze how you talk. I'm like, I'm also the opposite of that.
Unknown Speaker 26:19
My voice sounds annoying. So like, I was like, I don't give a fuck. I don't know what you want me to do about it first, like not gonna
Unknown Speaker 26:29
have to deal with it. Sorry. I always think that I'm the kid. Oh, really?
Unknown Speaker 26:35
I don't care.
Unknown Speaker 26:38
If say that you're going to go on a date this holiday season. I have some dating tips, okay? Or like how you should behave on a date.
Unknown Speaker 26:52
The word behave?
Unknown Speaker 26:57
If you don't do this, right, your mom like gets a switch from the backyard.
Unknown Speaker 27:02
So we've learned how to be interesting. How to Talk to correctly. Um, was there anything else we learned?
Unknown Speaker 27:11
Oh, that we need to behave with poise? Okay, nervous movements. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And now for the date. The dating and some of this could also apply to your Thanksgiving dinner.
Unknown Speaker 27:24
So when you go somewhere with a guy or there's a guy that you like around work? Yeah. Well, it's a seven.
Unknown Speaker 27:39
Seven.
Unknown Speaker 27:44
So like, if you're wearing a coat the guy, he's just like his manly instinct, he's gonna want to help you with the coat. So you need to make an opportunity. Like make sure there's like a path to you so he can easily get to you and help you with your coat. Oh, and if he doesn't know you just have to be like, oh, man, it's so high in here. You say Would you please help me with my coat?
Unknown Speaker 28:08
That's original. It says here. So
Unknown Speaker 28:13
a fellow isn't always sure what's expected of him and rather than appear ineffective or awkward? He may do nothing. So help a little bit on you. Yeah, that's fucking etiquette.
Unknown Speaker 28:28
It's only ladies that have to have etiquette. And it's up to them to make sure the man does the right thing to Yeah, yep, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 28:37
He will open the doors if you let him open the doors. So make sure to kind of step to the side so that he has room to open it for you because you don't want to open your own doors. That is not cool.
Unknown Speaker 28:52
Sorry, I dropped my book. Oh no. My voice exercise.
Unknown Speaker 28:59
Oh, here we go.
Unknown Speaker 29:01
I skipped over the section how to talk to boys. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 29:08
I need to like go through and like write some stuff down because this whole book is a lot of cringe. Be able to use it multiple times.
Unknown Speaker 29:17
With car doors you're also supposed to step back enough to let him open the door for you.
Unknown Speaker 29:25
We have a way here to get to how to sit in the car and how to exit gracefully. Oh, okay, so you're probably wearing a skirt or a dress. Yes, that's that's what ladies wear Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 29:38
Lady
Unknown Speaker 29:44
there's a little section here on how to shake hands. It is your privilege to shake hands if you wish. You offer your hand first, however, to avoid making him feel awkward.
Unknown Speaker 29:57
Do you offer your hand first however,
Unknown Speaker 30:00
To make him avoid feeling awkward, okay, so the lady has to put her hand down, making him comfortable. It's always about making them
Unknown Speaker 30:09
so you and you should always accept a man's hand if he extends it to you. But he doesn't have to accept your words.
Unknown Speaker 30:17
You can do whatever you'd like
Unknown Speaker 30:21
about the men
Unknown Speaker 30:24
I'm so happy for them. Yeah, so I will definitely be collecting some more stuff from the spool.
Unknown Speaker 30:33
Can I mentioned the other thing that wasn't it? Oh, yeah, but the calorie like, yes, yes.
Unknown Speaker 30:39
Don't forget your calorie.
Unknown Speaker 30:42
You probably don't want to eat at Thanksgiving. You just want to look pretty at the table. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 30:48
Your hand What's up, offer your hand
Unknown Speaker 30:52
and make sure fine food. Make sure if you do eat then you look at this calorie page that's at the front of this book for Teen Girls so you can make sure you don't eat too much. Oh, and there is a little thing by the calories that says unused calories produce fatty bulges and we all want to avoid fatty bulging daddy bulges so unless it's a certain kind of you know what I'm saying
Unknown Speaker 31:23
in my hand
Unknown Speaker 31:29
that's a good Thanksgiving
Unknown Speaker 31:32
good stuff.
Unknown Speaker 31:36
Oh, God just like those like awful like pregnancy announcements.
Unknown Speaker 31:41
I got stuff we're giving
Unknown Speaker 31:46
mommy
Unknown Speaker 31:49
kiss if y'all are okay with it. I also kind of did a throwback to some stuff from last year.
Unknown Speaker 31:56
As we go
Unknown Speaker 32:02
Oh shit, did I
Unknown Speaker 32:04
maybe I took a screenshot Sorry.
Unknown Speaker 32:07
Go away Maple Syrup Urine Disease.
Unknown Speaker 32:12
That will be on the next episode.
Unknown Speaker 32:16
Okay,
Unknown Speaker 32:17
I thought that since we're just talking about dating now we all know how to behave on a date. Thank you. You're welcome.
Unknown Speaker 32:25
This we're gonna come back to modern times of dating and stuff because this these pickup lines would not be in this etiquette charm book. Okay, I'm gonna teach y'all some pickup lines to pick up the honeys on Thanksgiving. Which is weird because mostly people eat with their families. So make sure
Unknown Speaker 32:47
somebody
Unknown Speaker 32:51
this dinner isn't the only thing that will make you want to take off your pants.
Unknown Speaker 32:56
Oh, with family?
Unknown Speaker 32:59
Family. You gotta hope that your cousin like brings a friend or something. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 33:06
I want to play with your butter balls. Ooh. Oh, gross. But yeah, yeah, it just makes me think of like sweating balls
Unknown Speaker 33:20
I'll rock your gravy boat. There's definitely stuff
Unknown Speaker 33:25
I'll put gravy in your pants
Unknown Speaker 33:32
you put the ass and casserole the good one for you
Unknown Speaker 33:40
I've got something for you gonna gobble
Unknown Speaker 33:44
gobble that dude
Unknown Speaker 33:47
that's a good one.
Unknown Speaker 33:50
That sounds like something smart as Dustin would say.
Unknown Speaker 33:57
You should you should beat him to the punch and have one of these for him. To you.
Unknown Speaker 34:03
I'm ready to shuck your corn
Unknown Speaker 34:06
I like that one. That sounds aggressive though.
Unknown Speaker 34:12
ketchup bottle
Unknown Speaker 34:17
I'd rather swallow your gravy tonight.
Unknown Speaker 34:22
God just sounds more like just like
Unknown Speaker 34:27
I don't like
Unknown Speaker 34:31
the pineapple
Unknown Speaker 34:34
the gravy might this is why you have to make that but dish with the pineapple and the jello and just
Unknown Speaker 34:42
later lover will eat it.
Unknown Speaker 34:47
Tina oh sorry, go Oh, I was just gonna say Tina brought up before we started recording about the Kardashian episode where they were like,
Unknown Speaker 34:56
figuring out who
Unknown Speaker 34:59
had the best
Unknown Speaker 35:00
Melin crotch, and that we've mentioned that on Episode A while back and
Unknown Speaker 35:06
so that's why we're referencing pineapples. Yeah. Um, I forgot what I was gonna say. Sorry, I wasn't important. Oh, I remember. Um, did you guys ever watch the other sister? Oh, yeah. Juliette Lewis. I don't really remember it. But the main thing I remember about it was like her and her boyfriend were trying to plan like their first time having sex and they planned it for Thanksgiving.
Unknown Speaker 35:32
Oh my god. I
Unknown Speaker 35:35
think I did see that show. Yeah, that's the only part of it that I really see. It would be interesting to watch that movie now because it's about like two adults with special needs. And I'm like, I bet it's not done well.
Unknown Speaker 35:51
Yeah, like the ringer. Yeah, like doesn't hold up. Well, either. Hey, I
Unknown Speaker 35:57
need some wild movies back. I'm gonna watch today now.
Unknown Speaker 36:02
Yeah, Thanksgiving movie.
Unknown Speaker 36:06
You can lose your virginity was Thanksgiving
Unknown Speaker 36:15
you have any more than pickup plans? I have a couple
Unknown Speaker 36:22
you know how people call like, say you're like cheating with somebody like your side piece or whatever. This says even though I'm Wi Fi you can hit it like a side dish
Unknown Speaker 36:39
like they tried too hard to make
Unknown Speaker 36:45
this one I did not understand. I guess. Because you cut the heads off a turkey but it says I'm losing my head over you.
Unknown Speaker 36:55
Oh, like Is that referring to the turkey not having a him? Only thing I can think it's kind of weird. seems more like Halloween. Yeah. Yeah. That's uh, all right. Don't eat don't use though. That one's not good.
Unknown Speaker 37:13
Good one.
Unknown Speaker 37:16
i That reminded me that I read the story about this turkey that cut pardon. And it was just funny because it's like a turkey that would like run around the neighborhood and get on people's cars. Oh, hell yeah. It was just kind of like a headache. But I guess everyone grew to love the turkey and they got pardoned. So that's awesome. I think I've heard that. Yeah, I think it probably gets shared on social media.
Unknown Speaker 37:41
I missed that one. The pardoning thing is weird to me. Like you're worthy of life was the other one. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 37:51
But your buddy over there.
Unknown Speaker 37:53
Say goodbye
Unknown Speaker 37:59
to Turkey saying goodbye.
Unknown Speaker 38:02
was actually pretty
Unknown Speaker 38:08
good. It sounds like I'm gargling.
Unknown Speaker 38:14
Sizzling gravy.
Unknown Speaker 38:22
Yeah, I know a girl that did that in high school. And um, actually, I think it was like two girls. I don't know if they did it. I can't remember if they did it, like separately or together. But yeah, they would call her pineapple posi
Unknown Speaker 38:38
if you experiment with that, just don't tell people about it. Or it'll still wind up on our pocket.
Unknown Speaker 38:44
And definitely don't do like the Kardashians and be like getting well. I mean, who am I to judge? I guess if they're all consenting adults and want to sniff each other's vagina. That's fine, but it's weird.
Unknown Speaker 39:01
That's weird as fuck yeah. Yeah. I feel like most people would say that. I guess if not write us in. Tell us your reasoning.
Unknown Speaker 39:11
We want to hear your side as well. I guess.
Unknown Speaker 39:17
Well, I don't think I have anything else. I have a couple a little black friday thing.
Unknown Speaker 39:23
Sorry. I feel like I'm not realizing the conversation. Oh, no, you're good. I don't think that the men from the etiquette book would like how much I've been talking.
Unknown Speaker 39:35
Well, I don't I don't know if the men's cookbook has anything about eating on the toilet. But
Unknown Speaker 39:40
yeah, maybe you know, men. Men don't have adequate books. It's just the ladies that have to like work around the men to not embarrass them. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 39:53
I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker 39:57
You're gonna be a spinster.
Unknown Speaker 40:00
So
Unknown Speaker 40:04
I was looking at
Unknown Speaker 40:08
Oh, quick, quick thing before we do Black Friday, I was looking at like conversation starters for Thanksgiving. And it was kind of like a questions thing. And one of the questions was which person here? Do you wish you knew better? And I just felt like that was be a little creepy. Like yeah, Tina, I want to get to know you better. Like it's just feels odd. Yeah, Pineapple.
Unknown Speaker 40:35
Pineapple
Unknown Speaker 40:42
also reminds me a little of like, my space topic, like, like, it's like, like, you want to get to know this one person better and no one else that everyone's gonna be like. I wish they wanted to get to know me better. Like, yeah, he was fucking like, cruel back in the day high. Why did they do that to us? Children. My shoes, your favorite? Friends, everybody. That was really fun.
Unknown Speaker 41:09
I didn't mean to go on on MySpace tangent. I've been trying to get into my MySpace to look at it. Like I emailed them and everything to do like a password recovery. I would like to see what pictures I have. Oh, yeah, you can email them and they'll help you like get into me. It takes a while but I think it'd be worth waiting. We're in episode one day after report back. Yeah, I remember um,
Unknown Speaker 41:33
I wasn't like I had pictures up and then my parents were like, oh, yeah, you shouldn't have pictures on there. So I took them off but it's not like they probably would have known but so I didn't have those my profile picture but I had a slideshow Yeah. On my page had pictures of me
Unknown Speaker 41:49
and did have music Yes.
Unknown Speaker 41:52
Oh played
Unknown Speaker 41:54
I can't remember what music I had. But it was like stuff that I was gonna but I just like tried to be like super cool with like, yeah, a lot of people don't know this song yet, but it's gonna be cool soon.
Unknown Speaker 42:06
Oh, and one chick that wanted to date my boyfriend changed her song to girlfriend by Afro Levine and I was like you fucking
Unknown Speaker 42:16
like I don't like it
Unknown Speaker 42:19
you need to worry um, but I miss it. I brought that up like the picture thing up because I was messaging with this boy I met on MySpace and he was like talking Oh man. It probably Yeah, yeah. And he was like oh like what are your picture like you know what are you look like can I get pictures? I was like oh well there's pictures on like the slideshow here and then he never responded
Unknown Speaker 42:55
to hang out with the 20 year old guys in the back of their car
Unknown Speaker 43:00
I was too ugly
Unknown Speaker 43:05
oh my gosh, I had to settle for the guys my age that just wanted to take advantage of my
Unknown Speaker 43:15
fucking I would not be a teenager again.
Unknown Speaker 43:18
No
Unknown Speaker 43:20
looking awful.
Unknown Speaker 43:23
So I have a couple of Black Friday things I was looking and just most of them were so fucking depressing just like people dying. Yeah, just getting trampled and like fighting for fucking toasters and just like really bummed me out.
Unknown Speaker 43:40
But it did find a couple funny things
Unknown Speaker 43:49
this says back in my poor college days when I worked at Walmart, we had a fight breakout over a bike. Fists were thrown and there was some blood. Eventually one guy got a hold of it and managed to get away from the crowd. He rode the bike out of the store without paying to flew to flee his pursuers just like Bhagat
Unknown Speaker 44:15
makes left okay. Yeah, if you have wheels, it's fine. We got a really good discount on it. Yeah
Unknown Speaker 44:24
that's a really good idea.
Unknown Speaker 44:28
This one said a guy tried to shove a Panasonic blu ray player into the front of his jeans. It was a rather large man But dude, it's a DVD player seriously?
Unknown Speaker 44:44
DVD of the box shape size thermal
Unknown Speaker 44:47
monitor thermometer.
Unknown Speaker 44:51
Nobody will know.
Unknown Speaker 44:55
Yeah, like I feel like these are pretty creative.
Unknown Speaker 44:59
I
Unknown Speaker 45:00
Ah, I guess it was creativity that requires
Unknown Speaker 45:11
I'll just shove this in my pants
Unknown Speaker 45:19
but yeah, Have y'all ever gotten Black Friday shopping?
Unknown Speaker 45:25
Once a couple times? Yeah. Only because like we were close to like a Best Buy. So we're like, Yeah, let's just go check it out and, and see. And we I mean, we didn't go like super early but obviously like, oh like the really good TVs were gone because they only put like two of those out. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 45:43
Broken for one. Yeah, no, I'm not willing to fight for it. But we got like a good like electric toothbrush that was on sale there. And like nobody was looking at toothbrushes or like
Unknown Speaker 45:55
further
Unknown Speaker 45:58
Did you see any shut down or it was
Unknown Speaker 46:01
crowded?
Unknown Speaker 46:03
But yeah, there was like wines out the door for like, everywhere. Of course. It's crazy. I don't understand it.
Unknown Speaker 46:12
Tina Taylor. I just did it when my kids were little. I think I got a bike for Charles.
Unknown Speaker 46:21
That's a good idea that
Unknown Speaker 46:24
really, it's no joke. People sleep out. Yeah, just in line. And as soon as they open the doors. Oh my god. Yeah. It's fucking crazy. Like, one of the stories I saw was
Unknown Speaker 46:38
a security guard going into work. And somebody at the front of the line thought he was cutting because he was just like walking in the doors and they like fucking jumped in. Yeah, yeah. Like there's nothing worse than that. Yeah, no. And usually, like, I've looked at stuff, and it's usually not like that. Crazy. I mean, like, if you get there the butt crack of dawn. Sure, you can get some super cheap stuff. But if you're not doing that, it's just like, oh, it's like $5 off. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 47:10
I remember one time. I was in like middle school or high school.
Unknown Speaker 47:15
We went to the mall on Black Friday, but it was like, pretty far into the day so it wasn't like super packed or anything. So we went to Hot Topic, of course. And my dad found this blanket and it was like five bucks. I was like, oh, yeah, we're totally gonna get this blanket because it's only five fucking bucks. And I was like, Dad, this was an ICP
Unknown Speaker 47:40
ICP blanket on our couch.
Unknown Speaker 47:45
Do they have their faces on it? Or was it like the hatchet it was like, um, it was kind of like a, I don't know how to describe it like a not like a quilted but kinda like a knitted fabric at it. So it wasn't like a fleece or whatever. And it was red and white. And it just had like a clown face on it with the with the chain. And it just said like ICP, and it was
Unknown Speaker 48:12
oh, but yeah, we're not like really big ICP people. Not if you are a favorite ICP song. I did, Joe. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 48:24
The great Malenko and I did date a juggler one time but he wasn't like I don't you don't remember like the face paint or anything like that. He had like a hatchet man tattoo.
Unknown Speaker 48:35
You're like that's worse than the makeup.
Unknown Speaker 48:39
Makeup.
Unknown Speaker 48:41
But yeah, I don't think he was like as into on like, when we were dating, so he's just like, yes. And I wish I wouldn't have gotten
Unknown Speaker 48:47
like Haytham anymore or anything but he wasn't really like super into the scene and for a while so yeah, he's like a minister now. Yeah, it's
Unknown Speaker 48:59
like super into metal and like lower you and stuff. So you go to all these like super hard like electronic shows and stuff and yeah.
Unknown Speaker 49:12
Cool guy.
Unknown Speaker 49:14
So do you have kind of like anything else or do just want to wrap it? Do you have any memories you can think of any Thanksgiving stuff that's
Unknown Speaker 49:25
you ever fuck anyone at the Thanksgiving table that may or may not?
Unknown Speaker 49:35
I could not use any of the pickup funds.
Unknown Speaker 49:38
Pick up your family or maybe
Unknown Speaker 49:43
have an I in my brother for a walk
Unknown Speaker 49:46
from Utah.
Unknown Speaker 49:49
We make a different kind of
Unknown Speaker 49:53
family.
Unknown Speaker 49:55
The brother sister
Unknown Speaker 50:00
worked thing the other day and someone said, what? You know, it's like kissing cousins and I was like, Ah, just trying to say like something was like pretty kind of the same thing as another thing or whatever. And they're just like kids. And I was just like, hey, can you just never say that again? Yeah, you know like, Can you kiss your cousin
Unknown Speaker 50:24
I think my toes just cringed.
Unknown Speaker 50:28
Yeah, hey, I hate when people like say that and then they Yeah, say like, sexy to like, describe stuff that's just like, not sexy. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 50:39
Yeah, this is sexy car like, like I had my internship like that either in the scientists was talking to someone I was working with that was working on this like, some type of like, biology endangered species model for like a certain area to like, predict if it will go endangered and stuff. And he was like, Yeah, you know, like this, like blah, blah, blah, whatever bird it's, you know, kind of endangered and you know, it's a little sexy and just like
Unknown Speaker 51:13
even weird, little sexy. Birds a little sex.
Unknown Speaker 51:19
You talking about like the research about it sounds more intriguing because like, Oh, dude, it just makes
Unknown Speaker 51:28
makes me think of like a cartoon bird with just like huge.
Unknown Speaker 51:33
Like
Unknown Speaker 51:38
normal.
Unknown Speaker 51:41
I'm sure there's tons of cartoon groups like
Unknown Speaker 51:46
that on Instagram.
Unknown Speaker 51:51
Well, flatheads we hope you guys enjoy your Thanksgiving. Enjoy your sexy bird and your
Unknown Speaker 52:00
gifts. And
Unknown Speaker 52:02
you know, enjoy your your family. And yeah, let us know if anything.
Unknown Speaker 52:10
Mind.
Unknown Speaker 52:11
Don't forget your extra tablecloth in case you need to eat in the bathroom.
Unknown Speaker 52:16
That's always an option.
Unknown Speaker 52:19
Yeah, and if anything weird happens at your local holiday parties. Let us know. I'm sure something weird will happen to all of us. I'll share it with you. And we'll talk about it next year.
Unknown Speaker 52:33
Thanks for joining us, Tina.
Unknown Speaker 52:37
It was a lot of fun. Don't forget we'll tell you Wobble.
Unknown Speaker 52:40
Wobble, wobble
Unknown Speaker 52:43
don't forget to follow us on Instagram because we put some goodies on there.
Unknown Speaker 52:48
Let's say I want stickers. Turkey will send you stickers
Unknown Speaker 52:56
All right. Bye now. Bye. Bye
Unknown Speaker 53:06
raspberry jello. Okay. You just solved that with hot water
Unknown Speaker 53:14
What
Unknown Speaker 53:16
do you want me to stop it
Unknown Speaker 53:22
I just put a marker because
Unknown Speaker 53:26
I think she was gonna cut out where you were like it's this okay
Unknown Speaker 53:35
Oh, no.
Unknown Speaker 53:37
I have one I'll share as well.
Unknown Speaker 53:40
Yeah, it's totally fine. Yeah. Okay.