Join the ladies as they revisit friends of the pod Nasubi and *Pastor* Greg Locke. Who says stuffy evangelical preachers can’t rap? See you in the ball pit!
Join the ladies as they revisit friends of the pod Nasubi and *Pastor* Greg Locke. Who says stuffy evangelical preachers can’t rap? See you in the ball pit!
Write us some of your cringe stories at [nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com](mailto:nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com)
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
I was brushing my teeth the other night. And Brandon was coming in out of the bathroom talking to me. And then I was doing my tongue brush thing. scraper and right when he walked in I guess I pushed it too far back and just like vomited and the chunks in and out so it was well I started this like laughing after so he just like, you know what until like comedic mode and we're just like, What is wrong with you? Oh man, yeah, we're on it for the rest of the night. But have you done that?
Unknown Speaker 1:10
No throwing up is one of the things I hate. I'll just sit there and feel like shit rather than farewell. So I think my body's trained to just like keep it down. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 1:21
yeah, I didn't even feel it coming up. I was just like, boom, there it is. And I was like, all right. The last time
Unknown Speaker 1:27
I threw up was like in I think 2018 After you keep that shit and remember everything about it? Was after Chris's birthday party the next day. Yeah, that's the last time hopefully the last time for I don't want to say ever. It's not really realistic. But
Unknown Speaker 1:50
then hey, you chunk. Welcome to nervous laughter podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:56
Welcome the blowing chunks Podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:59
I'm Jamie. I'm Alyssa. We're your hosts. Hey, hey,
Unknown Speaker 2:04
the movie that we saw last night. Triangle sadness. I would say man, maybe like four out of 10 Five out of 10. But they're on a cruise or like a yacht. And this is in the trailer. So it's not a spoiler, but they end up getting food poisoning like pretty much everybody. And so there's just like, probably a 10 minute period where it's just scenes of barfing. Oh, yeah, almost sort of getting to me for a second because like, what gets me about other people barfing is the sound. The sound is so fucking gross to me. And we had ordered barf stretch?
Unknown Speaker 2:46
Like sorry. Oh, yeah. Um, did you have problems eating it or anything or like, affect you like that?
Unknown Speaker 2:57
I don't know if I would say problems. But like, when I knew there was gonna be a string of barf coming up. I would put my fork down. And then when they stopped barfing, I was able to start again, but okay, it wasn't too bad. George just plowed through. He's eating that pizza.
Unknown Speaker 3:17
Yeah, I think I'm okay with like, seeing it. The sound but just like, the smell and like the warmth and just the warmth. The aura. Like, you can just like tell someone's barked in a bathroom before like you even like, hit like the door kind of, you know, just Yeah. Put some fucking spray like barfing.
Unknown Speaker 3:47
Oh, man, so gross. I mean, a lot of barfing when I worked it you know plasma center and blood bank and you know we had like those little things like on an airplane and yeah, when you take it from somebody and it's all hot
Unknown Speaker 4:02
shots, the worst? What things on an airplane the barf barf bags? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 4:07
we had like those Yeah, but I guess that's an of barf talk. Sorry, I didn't really add anything
Unknown Speaker 4:16
to a splashing start. Well, let's check out a little update on the zoobi Let me pull up my notes.
Unknown Speaker 4:28
He looks different than I thought he would. Oh, really? Like I don't know. How necessarily but
Unknown Speaker 4:34
he did. Well, I feel like um, everything I read says like, he looks like his face is like an eggplant. I don't really really see. Yeah, I mean, his his face might be kind of like long a little but it's not like an egg.
Unknown Speaker 4:52
I guess I pictured him being more like not husky, but he just seemed like so small even at the beginning.
Unknown Speaker 5:03
Oh, yeah. Those comedian types? I don't know, I don't really. Um, but yeah, I wanted to do an update on him just because a lot of the stuff that I've watched about the life of prizes, it always kind of ends with like, in the subi was fucked up for the rest of his life or never socialized again.
Unknown Speaker 5:31
Yeah, makes no
Unknown Speaker 5:32
really dramatic, yes, but it's not really like that. I mean, not to say that, like he didn't suffer any kind of, you know, things like he did have problems socializing and stuff like that. But, you know, he's seems to be like a pretty normal, well adjusted dude today. So, according to the Japanese wiki, he has now a local talent in his hometown. He created a theatre company and called in the SU gamma mama, in 2002. He is actually on stage quite a lot and also participates with another Theatre Company. And it's not just limited to stage he's also been on some teenage dramas. Sorry, TV dramas. That would be cool. Yeah. As well as some movies. And he also enjoys to make sweets in his free time. I don't know if he's been in anything like, super incredible though. The one that I keep seeing brought up is Train man, which I haven't seen. I think that was like 2002 or something. But yeah, he has, like, you know, a lot of little roles, kind of like a celebrity in his little area. Oh, yeah. The prize diary was a best selling book, which I still couldn't quite find. If it was him if he got all the money because I don't know quite when it was released. Like, probably not during the show. Yeah, shady, bitches. And he was included in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's longest running bounty hunter, which I guess like the goal, all by the end, he was trying to reach I guess that was technically a bounty. And he spent Okay, yeah. Also, at the time of the start of the sweepstakes life. He was in his fourth year at Senshu University Faculty of Law School. And he said, but I had to repeat a year to participate in the project, however, the professor in charge happen to see the Seabees prize life on TV and treated him as a leave of absence. So he was able to just get back, basically on track and graduate.
Unknown Speaker 7:55
Well, that's fine. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 7:57
So it was pretty cool. So I think I mentioned in the last episode that he climbed Mount Everest, it took four attempts. Oh, it seems like it was more of just unfortunate nature reasons. Like there's like earthquakes and then like another time. Some other people stopped him because some recent avalanches or something, but yeah, he tried it. One once a year from 2013 to 2016. Wow. Yeah. And in May 19 2016, your boy did it. Yes. Mount Everest
Unknown Speaker 8:39
exposes Jacob. This is my trademark lifted out.
Unknown Speaker 8:45
I know, but I wish he would have he very missed opportunity. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 8:50
I wonder if anybody's ever done that. I want to do some research on Mount Everest because I feel like that's a very interesting topic. Definitely. With a lot of cringe. Yeah, it's just like, turn right at this fucking
Unknown Speaker 9:02
Corp. Yeah. With the green jacket. Crazy. Oh, yeah, that would definitely be a good topic. This up is also active on Instagram. Oh, um, I don't know, like how active like a lot of it's in Japanese. So I didn't read through a ton of them. But I just pulled up some things from around like COVID time. So, in 2020, he made tweets in support of the quarantine orders in a playful way. So I use Google Translate. So some of them are kind of weird. But yeah, so in one of the tweets, he wrote, by the way, I wonder how many people would potentially want to see if the life of the prize life was rebroadcast? Of course, it is unknown whether if the reference Have refraining from going out or waiting at home. But will it be a waste to kill time when everyone is at home? Any? So basically just kind of seeing if there's interest in people wanting to see it again. And he followed up with another tweet. Just saying like, this is nothing like official or anything. But here's a poll like to see how many people are interested. And it had a total of 2441 votes. Nice and 96% voted that they would watch it. While Yeah, well, it sounds pretty crazy, because it's like, oh, can this poor guy get away, but it's like, you know, it's COVID times like, everyone's gonna be home and it's the perfect time to do it. Really? Yeah. So yeah, he seems to be you know, doing pretty well. And I'm taking it pretty good. Here's, here's also another tweet thing you can see
Unknown Speaker 11:00
Pillsbury Doughboy
Unknown Speaker 11:02
do stuff, see, like a hat on? Yeah. So this was an April 2020. And he said, even if you don't write hundreds of postcards everyday, just living your life without worrying about food, gives you peace of mind and allows you to stay at home. Oh, by the way, I don't have any of the items that I won during the sweepstakes. But I pulled out a stuffed sea lion that I think was my partner at the time. Do you remember your name? I think it was like it start with a B. I can't remember his name. Yeah, I can't either. Um, but I just wanted to wrap this segment up with them. I know this might sound weird, but just like his Twitter bio. Just because, like, you know, it's just something he wrote. And I feel like that's what he wants people to like know him as, as opposed to like, just the life of sweepstakes, guys. So his Twitter if you're interested, his name is eggplants. And his handle is at hammer, soup, tomato, tomato, a he Goddamnit Don't worry, I'll put it in the description. And it says actor talents newbies Twitter, born in Fukushima Prefecture. After the Great East Japan Earthquake he aspired to climb mount and mount Everest and succeeded on May 19 2016. On his fourth attempt, Fukushima Prefecture, a taka Fukushima tourism exchange Ambassador slash Mountain Day ambassador. Okay. Yeah, just like, you know, an instructor at school. Um, yeah, so let's wrap up are guiding us to be not doing like anything crazy, but you know, small time actor, little figure company. Seems like he's happy and doing his thing. So
Unknown Speaker 12:53
good. Hopefully. He gets to like punch the producer of that show in the face someday.
Unknown Speaker 13:00
Yeah, I Well, it's, I feel like yeah, like, he's nice. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 13:07
He doesn't care like we would.
Unknown Speaker 13:09
He's like, Yeah, it's fine. What a nice guy to be.
Unknown Speaker 13:15
Yeah. If you want to be on our podcasts, let us know. Yeah. I also have a little update. So I was listening to this podcast about Greg Locke is called Believe it or not. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I don't know if you can see the, their logos. It's cool. So I started listening to it last week. And I didn't really get much information from that, if any, it was just kind of stuff I already knew but you sometimes there's information and people just like, you know, it's the same information done or presented by different people. Yeah, I'm not like this. Exactly. It's our version. But so I was wrapping up listening to this on my way home from recording last week. And they added a little thing on the end one of the guys and it was like we have some breaking news. And it was brought to our attention. Greg Locke recorded a rap Oh, no.
Unknown Speaker 14:33
Alyssa Alyssa
Unknown Speaker 14:38
did a quick Google and I couldn't find it. But I'm gonna play it Boy Yeah, and the song Oh, fuck. Sorry. I had it queued up and then I'm good. Okay, so he,
Unknown Speaker 14:57
I want to like punch something right now know why I'm just like
Unknown Speaker 15:08
okay, but it's to the eight mile song like that be
Unknown Speaker 15:13
Oh my God. I want to like rip my eyeballs out I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker 15:18
Like I said, I don't I'm not 100% sure it's real it seems like it is I couldn't find it in my quick Google search but yeah, I'm gonna cue that up. I
Unknown Speaker 15:27
also had issues finding the Barnes and Noble video in my Google search that Reddit post so I'm wondering he might not be as popular as I'm thinking he is. I mean, Christian crowd but you know
Unknown Speaker 15:41
Yeah, I look to see if any of my fucking crazy family family members follow them and luckily they don't so good. Okay, or which Yeah, which is okay, here we go.
Unknown Speaker 15:56
If I had a million dollars, let me tell you where it go. Why would give it all to Jesus so that he may use it. So since I am a pauper and I have no gold to spend, I'm gonna give my life to Jesus Christ and to my journeys and I was wanting bondage my life was full of sins, until that wonderful night when my Savior came in and he came within me in ganja Newstar he took me from the barber clay and gave him a new heart I believe he called me Pastor walking in with gave me some names of the people that need some real teaching Bible do something to preach. Jesus gave a critical man directed right at us, but in your busy schedule you have failed to follow. The world is on its way to human who even cares? Instead of speaking Gospel we decided we stop and stare it's time to get burned for people limited fears but you only movies episodes you shed no tear to let's get busy. Doesn't make the right decision. It won't be global.
Unknown Speaker 16:55
Oh my god. That was so awful.
Unknown Speaker 17:01
It was really bad.
Unknown Speaker 17:03
It's weird. Like, I'm trying to recall some of the lyrics but it was just like, not processing as it was going really
Unknown Speaker 17:09
packed a lot of stuff in there.
Unknown Speaker 17:12
They didn't really link together. It sounds like you had kind of like in reverse. And then like started a new verse, but it still was like the same sentence.
Unknown Speaker 17:22
Yeah. I mean, who are the thoughts? This fucking white evangelical couldn't rap? Me?
Unknown Speaker 17:30
No. Um, so I guess God wasn't there to help him with that rhyme. No Posey boy yet now.
Unknown Speaker 17:43
I mean, he should have been instead of doing important shit, like helping starving children, he could help Greg with that ramp. Yeah, I don't really understand.
Unknown Speaker 17:53
Greg was just like, nailed it. But um, Jesus joke.
Unknown Speaker 18:02
Yeah, that was an exciting little fun. That was
Unknown Speaker 18:05
fun. Man, it was only a matter of time before that was going to happen. So glad that you were here to like, report it. hard hitting news. Man, like, Where does he post that stuff out? I need to find these like small. There's got to be like a small group. He
Unknown Speaker 18:22
does a lot on Facebook. Like the video of him in the bookstores on Facebook. Oh, shit. And then some stuff he does on his personal page. But yeah, he's got kicked off of most of the things, at least with his religious stuff.
Unknown Speaker 18:39
Are you started a new personal page when he got a new wife? Oh, god. You're done with that life? Yeah, totally. When we start a new one, I feel like you would probably share an
Unknown Speaker 18:54
account. Oh, yeah. Because he's a dirty cheater. Yeah, but yeah, he they have different ones surprisingly.
Unknown Speaker 19:01
Wow. Both for them both
Unknown Speaker 19:05
waiting for President Trump to return his his rightful throne?
Unknown Speaker 19:13
Like a disassociated?
Unknown Speaker 19:18
Yeah. I mean, they're just like, ready for Donald Trump's comeback? Yeah, they still call him President Trump. I mean, I guess that's technically what people do, or what do they usually do? Like, if it's an old present? I think we're prisoner. Yeah. Because they say President drop the former. Yeah. Because he's he's still president somehow. I guess I'm not smart enough to understand how he's still president.
Unknown Speaker 19:45
That will be another cue episode.
Unknown Speaker 19:48
The truth will soon be revealed.
Unknown Speaker 19:51
And we will bring it to you here. And so speaking of like weird government stuff, oh, Okay, I was looking at some of those weird laws like the Sunday laws whatever. Fucking stupid law Yeah, and I made a little game I call it is it stupid and then Texas way or Mississippi way yes I can't wait to play this game. So I just like a handful of laws
Unknown Speaker 20:30
just oh my god
Unknown Speaker 20:32
you're gonna tell me if you think
Unknown Speaker 20:37
is it daddy or daddy?
Unknown Speaker 20:42
Is daddy oh yeah all right you may not hunk corns as they may scare horses Oh and this might be in dislike you know one town or city or you know in the whole state so you know could be broad but just give me the state
Unknown Speaker 21:01
I guess I'm gonna go Texas just because I don't really know much about Mississippi and if horses are a big deal there.
Unknown Speaker 21:08
Well, they are Mississippi.
Unknown Speaker 21:12
Okay, horses Mississippi.
Unknown Speaker 21:14
Yeah, shits on the horses and um, yeah, it's kind of I'm sure there's areas like this around here we just haven't really driven out and like the super newer areas but just like, you know, people have like their big acres and acres of land that's kind of fenced in with like 10 horses or some shit.
Unknown Speaker 21:35
Okay. Okay, okay, so I've lost one see if I win or not I don't know what winning is nobody wins in this game really? But yeah,
Unknown Speaker 21:45
I mean it's just stupid All right. I'm here we go. 16 year old divorce girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school. Extracurricular activities. Give me your best Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 22:03
don't want to live in this world anymore I guess I'm gonna go with Texas again. Just because you said y'all didn't have abstinence only and we did
Unknown Speaker 22:16
your career I thought that one might trip you out.
Unknown Speaker 22:22
And now we got abstinence only sex education
Unknown Speaker 22:26
girl through and through.
Unknown Speaker 22:29
Still don't know what sex is
Unknown Speaker 22:33
not married for 10 years there is an old law that states you're unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own 10 or more cattle just the Mississippi way or Texas way. Mind you we got them cattles and rodeos too.
Unknown Speaker 22:56
I guess I'm gonna go Mississippi,
Unknown Speaker 22:59
Texas. Okay. So yeah, no, no boot tucking.
Unknown Speaker 23:06
Okay, you heard I thought that's what you're supposed to do to help like protect your shins more something that doesn't make sense as I said about boot tech. Because I guess either way you have two layers you have the boot layer and the pants layer so when I said that I
Unknown Speaker 23:26
feel like you would want the pants on the outside of your boots to protect your boots but if you tuck your pants in you won't get dirt and chilly yeah
Unknown Speaker 23:38
work boots you got going out to a wedding. You would wear your nice boots to a wedding.
Unknown Speaker 23:47
That's true that's true Alyssa lamb um I wonder what that's supposed to signify low just like I'm a working cattle man.
Unknown Speaker 23:56
I don't know why. popped into my head was like gang
Unknown Speaker 24:05
they they were on the cattle round here. Here's the next one. You may not stop someone from walking down the street by placing a truck in their way
Unknown Speaker 24:25
Mississippi
Unknown Speaker 24:26
Yeah, you know we all get them trucks down there. I feel like I again, I don't know if this is just because I'm in the Austin area and not just out in the more rednecky parts of Texas but holy shit. There's some fucking trucks and Mississippi out really? They're just like up on the big ass wheels. Oh yeah. And they got all the fucking flags on them in the back and the big exhaust pipes from the top I guess for when they go in the water.
Unknown Speaker 24:59
Yeah. Oh, that's not as common where we are but I've definitely seen it even here. Is the the nuts hanging from the bottom of the truck. The balls. Is that popular there? Yeah, Yeah, kinda.
Unknown Speaker 25:10
Yeah. I've seen them around. Yeah. You're like,
Unknown Speaker 25:14
it's so weird because I feel like the guys that would have the balls on their truck would be like, homophobic yet they're putting balls on their truck. I don't really understand that. Yes,
Unknown Speaker 25:25
because of course they're not driving a lady truck.
Unknown Speaker 25:28
Oh, I see. Yeah. Can't be ladies. But that doesn't mean that means they're inside of a male which in itself was kind of gay. So I don't really know anybody knows right in
Unknown Speaker 25:47
um, I think that makes sense in a lot of ways.
Unknown Speaker 25:50
But then also if it was a lady truck and it had the balls hanging from it then I don't
Unknown Speaker 25:56
know. Yeah, they got they need to figure out their their truck.
Unknown Speaker 26:02
Yeah, I mean, but most of them don't believe in pronouns. So I guess it doesn't matter. Yeah, I don't believe in that shit. Well call that guy ma'am and see what he does. But yeah, sorry.
Unknown Speaker 26:16
There was a time in high school to when I am pulled into a park in high school. And I hit a truck but it was just on like the big ass fucking mutton wheels. So I just like bumped the wheel and like a teacher saw and he came over and he was like, Well, I mean, your car is fine and it was just tires Yeah. And it's all like I slammed into it just like a little moped though. Yeah, you know there's kind of built in safety I guess.
Unknown Speaker 26:51
I thought you were gonna say the teacher freaked out and was like,
Unknown Speaker 26:54
you know get and let's see, the next one is there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property. Oh gosh. Um I feel like pigs
Unknown Speaker 27:16
having sex is a good thing because it makes piglets and you want a bunch of pigs so I don't really understand but
Unknown Speaker 27:23
not in the airport I'm gonna come Mississippi it's Texas.
Unknown Speaker 27:32
Oh shit. Okay, well I guess all your all apps
Unknown Speaker 27:34
don't want to see that. Okay, yes,
Unknown Speaker 27:37
I should have got this one right them. Okay, well, I'll segregate my pigs next time I take them to the airport
Unknown Speaker 27:48
let's see a nice one. You may not make love in a bar. Oh gosh
Unknown Speaker 28:02
I truly don't know because I feel like it could be both so I'm just gonna say Mississippi. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 28:07
Yeah, how we be fucking wherever we want Mississippi.
Unknown Speaker 28:14
Do they have laws about like, not jerking off to Brett varves image in Mississippi. Six there was pre Ray
Unknown Speaker 28:28
maybe that's why they had to start shielding off the statute.
Unknown Speaker 28:34
Fievel can't shoot just that far.
Unknown Speaker 28:38
Make a touchdown pass. Um, it is illegal for the blind to go hunting as long. Oh, sorry. Sorry. It is illegal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone who with them who isn't blind,
Unknown Speaker 28:53
Texas? Yes. Oh, yeah. I knew it.
Unknown Speaker 28:56
Yeah, man. You were just like
Unknown Speaker 29:00
it just seems like a text. Explain it other than that.
Unknown Speaker 29:06
All right. And are you ready for the last one? I'm ready. You may not fish by using an Uzi.
Unknown Speaker 29:14
Mississippi. Yep. She loves that. They had to make that a law. It happened that many times. Like drive
Unknown Speaker 29:26
by vicious. Fucking fishes be bitches. No sand.
Unknown Speaker 29:34
That was the best game I've ever played. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 29:37
there's plenty more but I figured I'd just sample it to see and fuck yeah, bring it back in the future. I
Unknown Speaker 29:43
hope so. I felt like this will be a good little corner of the podcast.
Unknown Speaker 29:48
And Chris if you feel like making us a little song for that. Just Hey, nice little lady. Little little ditty
Unknown Speaker 29:59
Oh, Okay, I have a little thing Oh, the reason I thought of this I put this in my notes for the podcast is like maybe a potential opener but it's kind of even too short for that. One time my grandma took me and my sister to Taco Bell when we were little. And Taco Bell had like a little play scape thing. And we were playing in the ball pit, and some kids pooped in the bowl. So he had to leave. And I was really upset because I was having a good time playing and, but also, I was old enough to like, realize that poop was a thing a gross thing, so I was really worried. You were okay with it. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 30:49
was okay with leaving. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 30:51
was sad but I was also like, oh my god, we have like poop fragments on us.
Unknown Speaker 30:58
Did you shower when you got home?
Unknown Speaker 31:00
I don't remember the rest of it. I remember like my sister. I almost felt like she was still in a car seat. And we were sitting in the car and like she had some cinnamon twists left and I thought that they might have poop on them so it's like I'm definitely not stealing those tears like you can eat them like maybe you can eat them so I decided to like read a little bit about ball pits
Unknown Speaker 31:37
saris like I just thinking about ball pits like Northrop because like the balls have this like greasy. Yeah, feeling to them because they're so gross.
Unknown Speaker 31:48
waxy, they're not good. So the pulpit originally called a bowl crawl, also known as a ball pool or ball paw. Which Ball Pythons?
Unknown Speaker 32:04
Yeah, I don't like it. It sounds like it's infested with bacteria.
Unknown Speaker 32:10
So those are the names for it. This is straight Wikipedia. So yeah, okay. They are typically typically marked as recreation and exercise for children. And there's little pictures of people in ball pits. I thought this was kind of interesting. Eric McMillan first created the pulpit in 1976. Oh, okay. It was at SeaWorld in San Diego. Oh. And then we get to urban legends. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 32:46
funny at the bottom of the pit.
Unknown Speaker 32:50
That's not on here.
Unknown Speaker 32:54
That was like a fear.
Unknown Speaker 32:56
That's a valid one. I mean, like, you could have a little kid with illness and then they sink down there. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 33:02
Or they're, you know, brought their pizza and they're like, man, yeah, I'm gonna eat food and then they choke and just fall to the bottom of the pit and just die.
Unknown Speaker 33:13
Oh, man. So this is beginning in the late 1990s and number of urban legends arose about children being severely injured or killed in a ball pit from encounters with Vipers maybe fucking laugh snakes but Vipers
Unknown Speaker 33:33
Wow. All right.
Unknown Speaker 33:39
fibers or hypodermic needles and then this says there's no truth to these stories but I can see both of those happening yeah, yeah really? Like some well not on purpose but hard for
Unknown Speaker 33:57
an A needle to I mean, I could see maybe like a diabetic kid or something but yeah telling junkies or just like going there
Unknown Speaker 34:08
and then the snake one I was like that's kind of interesting because I read a little bit more about ball pits and it was saying that you know like snakes are seeking refuge and they go in the ball pit because it's dark and war
Unknown Speaker 34:29
they're like all the balls are cold
Unknown Speaker 34:32
all the poop and leftover food and like kind of warm is just breaking down like brand
Unknown Speaker 34:39
new biome I've only seen a snake in a ball pit and Jackass on like they put I don't remember what kind of snake it was but it was fucking huge and like wrapped around Johnny Knoxville, so like, I think every bit yeah, it's it was it was good. One
Unknown Speaker 35:00
fam. That sucks. So there's a couple stories of children and ball pits. Little urban legends. So because their kids yeah, it's just kind of like the
Unknown Speaker 35:17
Oh sorry, I was thinking of like the the name like little urban legend. Suzie,
Unknown Speaker 35:25
my first urban legend so this one was collected from the internet in 1998 and this is from Snopes who deemed it a false thing. About a week or so ago a mother took her eager three year old son to Burger King for lunch after they
Unknown Speaker 35:48
it's already very eerie.
Unknown Speaker 35:52
I'm gonna try to do a true crime narrator voice after they ate their lunch the mother the mother said that the son could go and play on the playground for a while since he ate all of his lunch. She watched as the boy played in the tunnels slide and in the bulb. The boy played for about 10 minutes when he started to whimper slightly Thank you kid being British just got me
Unknown Speaker 36:35
why made him British and was probably probably don't have a lot of Burger Kings. Like they're better than that rubbish.
Unknown Speaker 36:46
The mother asked the boy to happen, merely replied her to mommy.
Unknown Speaker 36:56
Mommy, Mother assume that the little boy had banged his elbow, elbow or something while playing. They left to return home. Half hour after they were home. The mother noticed some big red welts on the boy's arms and legs. Not being able to figure out what they were the mother started to look at them closer. Could be read ant bites, she did not know. an hour. An hour later, the little boy die bhana what were the well come to find out when returning to Burger King to see if there were red ants in the play area in case the little boy had had an allergic reaction. Burger King employees and herself discovered that there was a family of baby rattlesnakes living underneath the balls in the ball pit area. She has since found out that that happens more frequently than not the snakes will crawl into the ball pit because it's dark and warm in there. She knows for a fact that another death has occurred because of this in South Carolina. Please use caution when letting children play in an outside area of a fast food restaurant. This could happen anywhere.
Unknown Speaker 38:17
I remember play places being in outside places but not with a bullpen outside.
Unknown Speaker 38:23
Yeah, I feel like the Taco Bell one was inside but our play place is still the thing like I think I've
Unknown Speaker 38:33
seen some like Chick fil A and maybe some like bigger McDonald's. Like it passed especially after COVID People like that's like a breeding ground for new diseases.
Unknown Speaker 38:50
With the laws that we read from Texas and Mississippi, I feel like people would be like no like the plan you should get your immunity yeah I will say something that I don't like about modern times and this is a very stupid thing not to like but like I don't like how stuff has kind of just be been read done in like Grey's. Like I feel like McDonald's used to look like really fun and now it's like just gray and why Yeah, and same with Pizza Hut. It used to be kind of like you know you had like those like stained glass lamps, like pieces and now it's just everything's boring now sucks.
Unknown Speaker 39:44
Yeah, it is bland. I know that they use a lot of like color psychology stuff. So like the bright colors. Oh, I remember. Totally don't quote me on this, but like I remember reading something a long time ago that said like the bright colors actually made people like not really want to stay. Just because I guess they're like loud like red and yellow. And then I don't know. So maybe the plan colors are supposed to make people feel warm. Or maybe people don't want to stay.
Unknown Speaker 40:23
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 40:25
Because they're just trying to cycle as many people as they can. And
Unknown Speaker 40:31
I had a birthday party at McDonald's. Oh, my sister did. Yeah, I have a little Ronald McDonald stuffed animal that they gave me a really creepy picture.
Unknown Speaker 40:45
Did you ever watch any of the like, did they do they have anything else like that? They have like McDonald's like cake and give you like a VHS or anything? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 40:53
They had a cake. They have a little games like one of them was like, they would like stack McDonald's cups like a pyramid or like a triangle. And you would have to throw stuff and stuff like that.
Unknown Speaker 41:10
Yeah, McDonald's used to be so much more of like a destination kind of thing. But now like, get the fuck out.
Unknown Speaker 41:19
Yeah, it's, I don't know. It's not like a boomer saying this, but I'm like, I missed the old McDonald's great again.
Unknown Speaker 41:27
I want to have my 50th birthday there.
Unknown Speaker 41:32
I would have a fucking birthday party at McDonald's. If they still did. I'm like, Yeah, and
Unknown Speaker 41:36
if they still serve if they like not still served if they serve like alcohol and shit.
Unknown Speaker 41:40
Yeah, that would be awesome.
Unknown Speaker 41:42
I'd be I'd be down.
Unknown Speaker 41:45
Okay, I'm gonna look into this.
Unknown Speaker 41:47
I would like to do the Waffle House Valentine's Day.
Unknown Speaker 41:50
Yes, I've been wanting to do that do that but they haven't done it in Austin so far. Oh, really? Damn. Okay. All a certain location
Unknown Speaker 41:58
request. Yes. Um, there was an urban legend that I thought about as you were talking about some of those. Do you remember one about like, there being like razor blades on slides? Um, I don't remember like where I heard that one from but I just remember that being like a thing. Just you know, make sure there's no razor blades on the side before you go down so you don't get your like flies. Um, maybe that was a fucked up dream because I had some weird word dreams slash intrusive thoughts. So
Unknown Speaker 42:41
um, I'll do another little story. I have a couple little things here of people putting these urban legends online. McDonald's Chucky Cheese Discovery Zone. Some of you might not be parents, but you might have nieces, nephews, grandchildren or friends with children. This will pertain to you too. As I read the following my heart sank. I urge each and every one of you to pass this on to as many people as you can, like normal Facebook. Facebook, be in shape. If you care about the children, you don't age children. I cannot stress how important this is. This is very disturbing news. In addition to the following True story, I will also add my own sons were playing in the ball pit at Chucky Cheese one day. One son lost his watch and was very upset. We dug and dug in those balls
Unknown Speaker 43:45
like the tone change I don't think there's like no other way you can say that.
Unknown Speaker 43:59
Trying to find the watch. Instead, we found vomit, feces and other stuff I do not want to discuss.
Unknown Speaker 44:16
I went to the manager and raised hell come to find out the ball pit is only cleaned out once a month. I have doubts that is even done that often. My kids will never play in another ball pit.
Unknown Speaker 44:30
Yeah, I've never found any letter Bulpitt but I feel like I
Unknown Speaker 44:35
know like the feces in the foods. They're 100%
Unknown Speaker 44:39
I've seen videos of like people cleaning out ball pits but it's not like trampoline park where they like find money and clean it. Yeah, like every night. I'm not a fast food place. Kids jump in with french fries that right I'm like, Who the fuck encourages kids to play right after eating? Once again why that's such a bad idea.
Unknown Speaker 45:04
Well, what I remember is like you ate just enough to be able to go play.
Unknown Speaker 45:11
And then your parent had to buy a milkshake because they were bored and had to watch you play. I'm just trying to think of what they're like. Tech charges. Yeah. What their tactic is for. Why have bad?
Unknown Speaker 45:25
Yeah, maybe it is a thing where you're just like, Oh, I've been playing like, I need a bottle of water. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 45:32
I need more sugar. More kicking nuggies
Unknown Speaker 45:39
I will say I did get a couple of Happy Meals but recently because I wanted to get those buckets. Yeah, yeah, I had those as a kid. And I wish I still had them because the new ones kind of suck because they're like small. I remember the old ones being more substantial. Like you could actually collect candy in and this one was like, or is a little small. It's what I would have used as a kid since I was only allowed to go to people's houses we knew just a tiny little bucket. Yeah, two pieces of candy.
Unknown Speaker 46:14
Yeah, I had a I was in military housing when I was little, so we're able to kind of go around that safest place to be a bunch around a bunch of military dudes with post traumatic stress. Getting scared?
Unknown Speaker 46:33
Oh, fuck, I didn't even think.
Unknown Speaker 46:38
Um, do you have any other urban myths? Like I really liked these.
Unknown Speaker 46:43
Um, I can read another one. I just have them about the ball pits pulled up if that's okay, yeah, that's okay.
Unknown Speaker 46:57
Okay, so the last one I read. At the end of it, it said now read this. Pretty scary. Rich. So this is all one posted just cut it in half. Hi, my name is Lauren. Wait, do we
Unknown Speaker 47:11
put a trigger warning for this one if it's pretty scary. Um, I don't it's pretty much just like the other one the scary. spooky, scary.
Unknown Speaker 47:24
We're going back to school. Okay. Hi, my name is Lauren Archer and my son Kevin and I live in Midland tin see? On October 2 1999. I took my son to McDonald's for his third birthday. See they're having fun parties. Bring them back. Make McDonald's great again. I'm gonna beat you Bob. That's what people are gonna chant presidential rallies
Unknown Speaker 48:00
and I'm gonna do we should have like a McDonald's burger. But now that sounds like lame but like we should have McDonald's birthday like just bring it to your house and try to make it like recreate. I would love looking up oh, look up what the
Unknown Speaker 48:18
January 20.
Unknown Speaker 48:20
Everyone's invited.
Unknown Speaker 48:24
After he finished lunch, I allowed him to play in the ball pit. When he started whining later on, I asked him what was wrong. He pointed to the back of his pull up and simply said, Mommy it hurts. I couldn't find anything wrong. Do
Unknown Speaker 48:39
you mean mother? Way I can't
Unknown Speaker 48:44
put me in the pram my my my mom hurts me. I couldn't find anything wrong with him at the time. I bathed him when we got home. And you know it was it was at that point that I found a welt on his left buttock more
Unknown Speaker 49:02
vipers, Vipers and dimers.
Unknown Speaker 49:11
Upon investigating it seemed as if there was something like a splinter under the welt. I made an appointment to see the doctor next day. The next day but soon he started vomiting and shaking. Then His eyes rolled back into his head. He was possessed. Pretty much from there. We went to the emergency room. He died later that night. It turned out the welt on his buttock was the tip of a hypodermic needle that broke off inside. The autopsy revealed that Kevin had died
Unknown Speaker 49:44
from A heroin needle is a bum mother fucking paragraphs, same story.
Unknown Speaker 50:14
I don't know, two stories that were combined in one Facebook post but next week. Next week the police removed the balls from the ball pit. I love this, the police doing it. There was rotten food, several hypodermic needles, some fool some used knives, half eaten candy, diapers, feces and the stench of urine.
Unknown Speaker 50:44
Just the stench of it you know, not the cinnamon in it or heroin or the rotten food.
Unknown Speaker 50:50
Just the PDP is a child not safe to play their child's play area. You can find the article on Kevin Archer and the October 10 1999 issue of the Midland Chronicle. Please forward this to all loving mothers, fathers and anyone who loves and cares for children. Don't just think it's just a McDonald's either or that something has just started. When my oldest son who was nine was in the small area, Burger King closed their play area for a while for remodeling because in another town there had been an incident similar to the one described above. That happened at a Burger King. A little boy had been playing in the ball pit and started complaining of his legs hurting. He later died to was found to have snake bites all over his legs and buttocks. When they
Unknown Speaker 51:44
I would believe the heroine or at Burger King when the snake
Unknown Speaker 51:51
when they clean the ball pit they found there was a Copperhead nest in the ball pit. He had suffered numerous bites from a very poisonous stage snake. I wouldn't let my son play in the ball pit after that. I was lucky even though that wasn't at Burger King or McDonald's. It could have been I still have my son, please send this on. So that it doesn't happen to someone you know.
Unknown Speaker 52:17
I still have my son. That's just a weird way to phrase it. I don't know why that just screams I don't actually have a kid or disorder where my kid is an object.
Unknown Speaker 52:29
Yeah, it's like this very common. Heroin overdose and McDonald's ball pit and not happen to my object.
Unknown Speaker 52:39
You know, how? How about heroin users just be leaving needles full of heroin. Ready to just
Unknown Speaker 52:49
give other people drugs? Splurge on it? Yeah. I'm just gonna go ahead and toss this full syringe. The cost $50 In the past suddenly.
Unknown Speaker 53:03
Yeah, Nina how they be? Yeah. Well, that was fun. Thanks. I was like, I don't know if this is stupid.
Unknown Speaker 53:13
I really enjoyed that. It was um, I'm trying to think of like a pun that I can make in wind prison
Unknown Speaker 53:20
diapers was great. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 53:27
I just I don't know why, but I'm thinking about Fast and Furious. Like, I have no idea why, but maybe because Vipers are cars. Oh, man. I'm just like Ben diesels are badass. I don't know. My brain is starting to shut down.
Unknown Speaker 53:48
Yeah, they have like the 27 club for musicians. 27 They can have like the Vin Diesel's Vipers for all the kids and died in
Unknown Speaker 53:57
a little like a charity run for raising awareness of snakes and inside of our kits. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 54:11
they hire people that like hold snakes and run after you run away from him.
Unknown Speaker 54:17
I was surprised that it started at SeaWorld. Yeah, me too. Um, maybe that's where like pool and pond came from? Yes. Ross a dolphin and Leia. I mean, they love fucking
Unknown Speaker 54:33
torturing animals. Yeah. I'd like Kingfisher to by three foot pool dolphin.
Unknown Speaker 54:43
There's water in it. You're alive, Foxy world. And the only other thing I have on my list to talk about is intrusive thoughts. So I guess that's going to be the rest of them. Okay, so trigger warning I would say the trigger warning of borderline oh, what's the word torture, borderline torture. So get ready or go away. But thank you for being here that heads but you know if you have intrusive thoughts too might be a fun time to join in and be like, oh, yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 55:44
can add some chair repertoire. Yeah, I need some new ones.
Unknown Speaker 55:49
Um, but yeah, feel free to write us on to if you need to vent about it. But yeah, I just keep having some that are like, Oh, God, this is so fun. But just like taking a nail and just like hammering my Achilles
Unknown Speaker 56:11
dam on some wild
Unknown Speaker 56:14
like really brutal when I just like, I think I was just playing fucking what's what's that game boggle or just like your couch playing boggling and it just came on my mind. And I was like, ah, it just keeps me up. Just keeps coming coming in and out won't go
Unknown Speaker 56:32
away. Violence Mardi Gras? Yeah, minor. Usually more like, you know, if I'm holding a knife or scissors or something, it's like cut your finger off. cut your finger off. Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, but that was pretty creative.
Unknown Speaker 56:49
Yeah, like, yeah, your job should get hired for some, like creative. Creative torture, but not IRL. You know, just like, writing. Um, yeah, I, um, I kind of get that too. Like, whenever I'm, like, chopping stuff up, just like, yeah, just start slicing your fingers like a sausage. But I hate it. Because like, in my mind, I know. It's not like, it would be like way more bloodier.
Unknown Speaker 57:20
Yeah. And like I imagined it would be wrong. Yeah, yeah, she'd have a bone snapping and wouldn't be right.
Unknown Speaker 57:29
But how my brains like yeah, making it look pretty. That's the weird muscle weird wrong word to use not look pretty, but I meant like, you know, it's neat. It's neater. It's yeah, like bloody and crazy. Um, what else? Oh, yeah. into just always scared of, um, if I'm in the kitchen with like, Brandon, I'm not like, stab him with a knife. But I'm just like, what if I turn around the same time? Like, he turns around, and just like, Boom, just like, Boom goes on to him. So yeah, I'm always like, I'm behind you with the knife.
Unknown Speaker 58:13
Or the knife. Trying to think of some other I mean, of course, when you're driving drive off the road, you drive into the wall, hitting the people standing the cars. Actually, don't worry about the people as much. I think it's just because I so deeply, dislike most people just doesn't. I mean, not that I want to hit him with the car. But I'm like, Okay, I'm paying attention. So I don't think it's gonna happen.
Unknown Speaker 58:43
Yeah, I'm just always scared that someone's gonna, like, I don't know, be like walking on high heels. And then they just like, walk up their ankle then like, like fall into the road. And I just like can't stop it'll be like
Unknown Speaker 58:54
an infomercial, where they just like really playful.
Unknown Speaker 58:59
Oh, my God have trouble walking and they fall on the street and get ran over. I mean, that's not funny. But you take the infomercials to the next level I was also having some when I was thinking that I was thinking about going to what's it called Rudy's to get some breakfast tacos. I'll have like a little coffee from the fridge and I was they have like the whole section where people like have tables to eat at and stuff and I was just like imagining just like talking Chunkin look like glass of coffee just like right at someone's head and just running away. So I was like, Alright, I'm just gonna order delivery today. I'm gonna risk it. Yeah, just know.
Unknown Speaker 59:49
Oh, man, that reminded me when he said throwing like whenever you go into your store, and there's very breakable things. I'm just always picture just taking my hand and doing it. Yeah, that was pretty fun. I mean, like, if I could do that without consequence 100% would do that. That'll be cool. That's one
Unknown Speaker 1:00:09
of the post apocalyptic. Oh, yeah, like things. Yeah. It would be kind of a waste of resources.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:19
But you could do like little knickknacks or something something not useful.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:23
Chairs. Teddy's okay. Maybe they'll be the source of money.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:32
Have you ever broken a teddy? Oh,
Unknown Speaker 1:00:35
yeah, I think so. I think one of the ones I have is broken spillway together. I'm on the Wizard of Oz ones I think. But yeah, not like on purpose or Yeah, but you know. Um, let me think I had some other intrusive thoughts that are pretty graphic, but I don't remember them. Which is probably a good thing.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:59
Now, I can't really think of many right now.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:02
Oh, I remember. I'm cutting off my ear lobes. Oh, shit. I like just Yeah, because we have these like, meat scissors. Not just like, hey, why don't you just stretch your cut it off? Hey,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:21
don't be I'm sorry. Like, does this take a weird turn, but maybe shouldn't take?
Unknown Speaker 1:01:38
I don't think so. I'm sorry. I'm just like, I can't think of more. I have fucking time. But I just, I guess they're one of those things that Luckily, I've learned to kind of dismiss them. Like, I remember when I was a teenager and they first started happening. It was like really upset me. But now I'm just like, No, back off. Not today. We're not doing that. Back off. But do you have any more? You think so? Okay. I feel like I disappointed you, dad. Sorry. Get back to you.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:19
Well, I think that'll do.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:22
Clean some ball pits. We gotta save the children. Children. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:29
Um, yeah, that's where they're leaving the kids. They're tucking them in under the all the balls and then people can come and pick them up. Oh, this
Unknown Speaker 1:02:38
is like a cute conspiracy.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:41
Yeah. Yeah, they leave the money in the drugs to pay for the kids at the bottom of the pit. Ah, yeah, it makes sense. And they put the food down there so the kids can eat while they while they're waiting to be picked up. That is exactly what happens. That's the last the end of the show. Yeah, come
Unknown Speaker 1:03:02
back next week for more breaking news. Bye bye.