Welcome to 123 Dick Lane! Join the ladies for this weeks fill of fun stuff and lyrics that didn't age well.
Welcome to 123 Dick Lane! Join the ladies for this weeks fill of fun stuff and lyrics that didn't age well!
Jamie opens with a story about something embarrassing that happened at work. Alyssa shares a listener story which spins Jamie off into a sort of related story? Check please!
Alyssa Drops some knowledge on family cloth and shares the fun of the toilet paper wikipedia - TOILET! Jamie covers some more cringey lyrics from years past.
Special shout out to Wren & D-Rock at the end!
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
The socials: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Elevator Music at 46:62 by BenSounds.com
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Recently I got new tires for my car and by car boy number three got them and then I got this crazy screw in my tire like right after like maybe a week after oh shit it was like an expensive tire and I was like let's try to warranty it or whatever and he was like I don't think we can but then I was like just try and it turns out we could so he had to send in the invoice for my tire bike that he put it on and whatever and we looked back and my address in our automotive software is my address is 123 Deke lane like to send in this invoice that says 123 Day claim was laughing so hard like Sucks to be you. Like we just like go in there and change my address and it should you know we can like reprint the invoice or whatever and it ended up working but me yeah, we're like testing out the software and I was the first summer you know, they got put in the database.
Unknown Speaker 1:41
Yeah, um, welcome to nervous laughter Podcast. I'm Jamie
Unknown Speaker 1:47
I'm Alyssa are here at one lane if you want to send us an email. I was laughing so hard. Like you thought it was funny too. But I could tell it to who's like dammit. Like the owner of the business, I'm gonna have to send this thing.
Unknown Speaker 2:06
It's so unprofessional.
Unknown Speaker 2:09
Mike, have you ever met me?
Unknown Speaker 2:14
And speaking of professional,
Unknown Speaker 2:16
you have a job? Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 2:18
have a job. And I have a story about something that happened. Job. So I was helping someone like to sound like a voice call thing and screenshare whatever. And I was moving some things around. And then this happened. For those that aren't familiar, that is the button that I'm trying to use to like train my cats and stuff. So I pre recorded some stuff. I was just like, Oh my God, I am so sorry. That is a button that I'm using for my cat in
Unknown Speaker 3:01
your voice.
Unknown Speaker 3:05
And he was like, oh, okay, well, it's good to know that the cats are loved. And I was like, Yeah, and just kind of was just like, Yeah, it's like, training them to use the buttons. But yeah, I thought that you
Unknown Speaker 3:20
love you. Love you
Unknown Speaker 3:27
the best button ever. And now it's located far away from her computer.
Unknown Speaker 3:33
Yeah, well, I hadn't like on the very top of my computer tower. So I was like, okay, nothing can touch this. Because it was just, um, like a cable. I think like my wire from my laptop charger swapped over and like hit it because I guess it's like, super sensitive, and I was like, god dammit.
Unknown Speaker 3:53
Were you flustered the rest of the time? Or were you able to kind of just go with it?
Unknown Speaker 3:57
I feel like I was able to kind of go with it, like minorly flustered but um, it was gonna be like a really short call so Oh, God. I gotta get through this. I gotta get through this.
Unknown Speaker 4:15
And then when the call is over, did you press the button again?
Unknown Speaker 4:19
Um, well I actually tested it out with the cable a few times because I was like, Is it really that sensitive? So I just kind of like you know, flop the cable over on it and it just like Love you. Love you. And I was like, oh god damn. Yeah, and then I told Brandon and he was just like, Yeah, whatever. It's not embarrassing. Like what? Like died for a
Unknown Speaker 4:43
microsecond like if you get caught like having your own voice recorded like somebody were to walk in on me like doing a test listen of the episode. I would be super embarrassed because I'm just like, listening to myself talk. Sometimes I'm laughing at it.
Unknown Speaker 5:02
Yeah, it's um, yeah, well and he the other one is recorded. It's him saying treats. Here. Yeah, that one. Yeah. Okay giving listeners
Unknown Speaker 5:10
a glimpse. Alright, here it is.
Unknown Speaker 5:15
Oh, pets not treats. Patch because I recorded it like the first time and it was like super quiet. But we are a robotic family.
Unknown Speaker 5:33
Speaking of robots, either those things on iPhone, I should have looked up the name but basically it's kind of like an emoji, but you can record yourself and give it a voice. Like it moves its mouth and stuff. So my niece and I just nine, she sent me one we're kind of like sending them back and forth. And they were just goofy ones. Like there was a shark and she made it say like, my name is Finn and like stuff like that. We're going through and then she sends me a robot and the robot says robots are taking over the world
Unknown Speaker 6:16
okay. Oh, yeah, laugh got creepy.
Unknown Speaker 6:21
And there were two versions because I think she like didn't record it all the way. So she sent that one and then another one was like a double
Unknown Speaker 6:30
which one sounded better?
Unknown Speaker 6:33
They were both good because they were said by a nine year old girl and a creepy voice.
Unknown Speaker 6:40
Um, so like emoji and work reminds me of a one time I accidentally sent. Um, one of he wasn't like my boss, but he was a boss of like a department. I accidentally sent him a winky face.
Unknown Speaker 6:55
Oh, no.
Unknown Speaker 6:58
We're just like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, it was like that is what was supposed to be a smiley face. Not a winky face. And he just kind of like laughed about it. And yeah, he was like I before he could respond to it. I was like, yeah, no, it is supposed to be a smile. So yeah, he just kind of like, LOL LOL Miko. Winky face thing but not like in a creepy way.
Unknown Speaker 7:24
And then you're like, love you. Speaking of love, we love our listeners. And our listener wrote a story into us. Thank you. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 7:40
That's clapping. We're clapping.
Unknown Speaker 7:45
So this is my IRL friends going to leave their name out because of obvious reasons. So I'm just gonna read exactly how they wrote it. I recently had an employee break down in tears after I gave them a shift change. Which we were talking about this in person with another friend and the friend. I had already heard the story. The friend was like, Oh, they're unstable, like they're crying at work. And I was like, No, that's not the weird part of the story. Okay. So it says they told me that they have only publicly publicly cried once before, and that they didn't even cry when their parents died. Whoa,
Unknown Speaker 8:31
whoa, I mean, that person's got a lot going on. They
Unknown Speaker 8:37
said sat there. I sat there stunned awkwardly, I told him that them that it is okay to cry. Fortunately, I had to leave and was able to sprint from the room and building. I didn't even cry when my parents died.
Unknown Speaker 8:53
And then he like ran out like an anime character. So like, what got up and left like, was it just kind of like an awkward timing? We've like the the
Unknown Speaker 9:07
person that told me the story that was talking to this employee, they were able to leave soon after the Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 9:13
Sorry. I felt like the employee was just like, cry, cry with my parents died and then like, you know, like my job ran out. Just like whoa,
Unknown Speaker 9:25
that's a lot to take in. I mean, people cry. I wouldn't really think that much about that. But then didn't crow. My parents died. Yeah, but my schedule. Just a lot to unpack.
Unknown Speaker 9:39
Yeah, I'd be like, alright, well, you take that time to go to a therapist and kind of work that out.
Unknown Speaker 9:49
Yes, thank you IRL friend. Thank you, Alyssa Zyro friend writing that in. made me laugh a lot. Like that wouldn't be something anyone would expect to hear
Unknown Speaker 10:02
I'm glad that you were able to get away. Yeah. Like kind of reminds me of this one story I was reading about, I was reading through this some court file on this murder case. And he murdered this girl with his girlfriend and then he went and like, was hanging out with his neighbor. Not like right after it happened but so he went over there and then one of the other neighbors came by and was like a security guard somewhere. And so he had like a police looking outfit on. So whenever that guy came to the door, um, like he freaked out and was just like, Oh, I'm gonna go get a Snickers and then ran out the back door
Unknown Speaker 10:56
natural and then he hit the love button when the door
Unknown Speaker 11:04
tripped on it on his way out. But I think that would make a great like Snickers commercial like but um, yeah, so you know, you kind of find some fun stuff when you're reading through a court documents about people that do really dumbshit
Unknown Speaker 11:26
get caught in Dumb Ways.
Unknown Speaker 11:30
Not that that's, I guess. That's the only thing that compares to that story. Between the two is just I guess I'm just being able to run away. But it reminded me of it.
Unknown Speaker 11:42
It's good. We're experienced runners away from cringe. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 11:50
Yes. Gotta go by check, please.
Unknown Speaker 11:58
Oh, well, speaking of gotta go, that actually ties into my thing that I looked at. Have you ever heard of family cloth before? No. So family cloth is what hippie families use instead of toilet paper. So there will just be like a basket of you know, like wash cars near the toilet and you just wipe with those.
Unknown Speaker 12:27
That's what do you do? What do they do? Is that after is there like a sealed container that they're just like,
Unknown Speaker 12:33
yeah, people have different methods. But yeah, usually you just put it in a little container and then dump it in the washing machine. And most people that I read about said that, you know, they had actual toilet paper for guests. You wouldn't have to use this pee cloth. It seems like a lot of people use it for just pee, but then there are others. They use it for poop tear. That's, I feel like that's a lot.
Unknown Speaker 13:04
Yeah, so like, I guess I'm kind of thinking of like, just not are not disposable. Like reusable diapers and stuff, too. So like, Yeah, I mean, it's like, it almost seems like it's not that gross, but like it is really gross.
Unknown Speaker 13:20
Yeah, I can decide what I think. But like I thought about the disposable diaper thing too, but I'm like, that's a baby. Imagine having clean like grown man's like shit claws. I just feel like it's
Unknown Speaker 13:33
kind of like a different league. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 13:36
Like my cats shit. I'm like, Oh, I love them. Like it's okay. But like, I don't want to clean up George's poop.
Unknown Speaker 13:43
True. Yeah. I don't want to like rinse. Brandon's fit out of rags. And before I have to wash them for
Unknown Speaker 13:52
a good wife does. But yeah, family cloth is interesting. But it kind of just took me on a little research thing of toilet paper in general. Okay, so let me pull that out.
Unknown Speaker 14:08
As you pull that up. Do you remember that episode of Wife Swap where there was like that hippy backwards family and they like shared bathwater.
Unknown Speaker 14:18
Oh my gosh. fucking gross. I don't think I saw the Wife Swap one but I saw like an extreme cheapskates and they did that like the whole family with oh, they wiped with newspaper. Oh, yeah. I, I can't imagine like, they feel like you're gonna get an infection because it's paid. It's like it's a bunch of ink on it and yeah, maybe kind of dusty. If it's been sitting there. You don't know who all is touched it? That's a lot.
Unknown Speaker 14:53
It's gonna be hard on your asshole.
Unknown Speaker 14:56
Okay, we're gonna do a podcast research project. Wherever you gonna wipe with toilet paper for a week
Unknown Speaker 15:01
and we're gonna live like extreme cheapskates for a week yeah. So
Unknown Speaker 15:09
like so fucking immature sometimes I feel like humor of like a young boy but either way competing Wikipedia like they'll have a word and you can tell it's like a link that you can click on and it'll take you to another Wikipedia article. So I just like looked up the Wikipedia for toilet paper and I'm gonna read it and the words that I put emphasis on words that they have like links to to another Wikipedia article. Toilet paper, sometimes called toilet tissue or bathroom tissue is a tissue paper product primarily used so stupid. Primarily used to clean that anus
Unknown Speaker 16:05
region is no regions also
Unknown Speaker 16:11
no regions on PC after Jaffa Cake and to clean the perennial area and external genitalia of your red
Unknown Speaker 16:30
Yeah, that needs to be a button
Unknown Speaker 16:36
after your radiation or other bodily fluids releases, it also acts as a layer of protection for the hands during these processes are usually is usually supplied as a long strip of perforated paper wrapped around a paperboard core for storage in a dispenser.
Unknown Speaker 16:59
I'm surprised like there wasn't more words on the previous couple sentence yeah
Unknown Speaker 17:08
yeah yeah,
Unknown Speaker 17:10
so it was stored in a storage or storage and a dispenser near a toilet and toilet. And then it says the bundle is known as toilet roll loo roll or bog roll in Britain
Unknown Speaker 17:27
oh oh wait what bog bog roll
Unknown Speaker 17:33
big which I wish that that was a link because I want to know why it's called a bog roll.
Unknown Speaker 17:40
Um, do you refer to bathrooms as a bog over there? If I'm not mistaken? Yeah, I learned that from my co workers from the UK.
Unknown Speaker 17:50
I heard them call it the WC or like water closet or something. Oh, but I didn't know they called
Unknown Speaker 17:55
it water closet came from
Unknown Speaker 17:59
sign on Neil's bathroom or something.
Unknown Speaker 18:02
I've always heard the rooms like whenever the toilet is its own separate room in the bath. Like in the bathroom. I heard that called like a water closet. But I was like, Yeah, okay. But yeah, probably just came from Google birds
Unknown Speaker 18:23
before we started recording, I did not use putting it over here. We started recording Jamie like, we were talking to Brandon. And she like tried to say this joke. Like
Unknown Speaker 18:45
explain it. And then it was like, Okay,
Unknown Speaker 18:49
explain it. Ah, that happens to me all the time. Yeah. But I kept going down the Wikipedia page for toilet paper. And it was really long. I mean, it has like every aspect of toilet paper as children and cats may unroll an entire roll of toilet paper by spinning it until it completely unravels on the floor. Or is the game by children wadding up one end, putting it in the toilet bowl without tearing it. And then using the flushing of the toilet paper to pull new paper into the toilet was the objective of flushing an entire roll down the toilet section at a time without the toilet paper breaking never heard
Unknown Speaker 19:35
of that game before? Is that a pastime of yours? No. I don't remember playing with the toilet. I much as a child at all.
Unknown Speaker 19:47
Me either. I feel like I was from a family where they would have gotten a lot of fucking trouble for doing that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just thought it was funny like Wikipedia page has A lot of stuff. And a friend of the podcast ran that sent us the Arnold impression that sent me a video about or it showed a cat like tearing up a roll of toilet paper. And I was like, Oh, my cats have never done that. Like, a week later, I get the kittens and those bitches go write papers, so totally drinks to myself on that one.
Unknown Speaker 20:27
How have the cats been? Have they been good? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 20:32
They've taken all their medications, so we'll just do a little poop test in a week or so and
Unknown Speaker 20:38
see if they're worm free. Yeah, we're
Unknown Speaker 20:40
in freezer way to be. Yeah, they're doing good. Super cute. They're fucking crazy. We'll be sitting in the living room. And you can hear them in the guest bathroom just like literally bouncing off the wall like knocking shit over. It's crazy.
Unknown Speaker 21:02
I'm surprised that they haven't like climbed the shower curtain or something at
Unknown Speaker 21:06
the shower curtain that's in there. I've had it for literally 10 years and it's been fine because it's just a shower curtain. If you hold it up now you can see all these little like, alright, he doesn't shower. I mean, it's it sucks, but so cute. I feel like my money's worth.
Unknown Speaker 21:25
Yeah. 10 years. That's a good ride. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:30
And then went back to toilet paper stuff. I feel like I was aggressive. Like, let's go back to toilet paper. Okay. Silence silence
Unknown Speaker 21:41
that we talked about. Do you want to tell it? I don't know. I'm just like a kid.
Unknown Speaker 21:52
So we usually do some recording of room noise before the podcast for editing purposes. I'm stupid. So I don't really know what it's used for. But yeah,
Unknown Speaker 22:03
just because like the processor will be like, what is the room sound like? Or you know, what does nothing sound like? Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 22:10
So it was when we had our friend hope on and we're like getting ready to record are all laughing about stuff. And instead of just being like, Oh, hey guys, let's like do some room noise Jamie just goes silent like sorry to say
Unknown Speaker 22:37
oh, man think thank God, I never became a teacher. Silence class. Oh, and something else I kind of responded weird to was um, so we talked about having like that I'm watching the Babadook the other night at your house and then
Unknown Speaker 22:58
a pram, Dolly, stop drinking.
Unknown Speaker 23:01
And then there was like a water pipe that burst. And then church came in and was like, we have a burst pipe. So we're just gonna like turn the water off and stuff so you guys can just use the bathroom stuff real quick if you have to go. And then I was just like, do we have to leave
Unknown Speaker 23:23
should I be are you in trouble? Because I'm in so much trouble right now. I shouldn't be here. Go really mad
Unknown Speaker 23:42
drive you home drunk? Trouble was that a really? Oh my god happened to me at like a with like a friend's house. Well, he didn't drive me home. But he came to pick me out because like, um, it was just like, too dark for me to ride my bike. And they're like, oh, yeah, no, don't ride your bike. Because like, I couldn't get a ride over there. And I was like, No, it's fine. Like, I can ride my bike. My parents feel safe with me riding my bike in the dark. It's okay. And so her dad came over to get me in he had like a fucking like beer. Just drink and
Unknown Speaker 24:23
go home.
Unknown Speaker 24:25
I'm gonna go have a sleepover with my friends. Not like that ever happened. But that was I think I told this on the podcast before the same place and dad or whatever. We're like, the porn popped up on the computer. And blamed for it and I was like, I was just on what's her face.com I don't know. spoke them. Yeah, that was good times. So more about toilet paper. Sorry, that derailed
Unknown Speaker 24:58
by live talking About toilet paper that you use to clean the anus after death occation
Unknown Speaker 25:05
made of tissue paper.
Unknown Speaker 25:09
Oh grow. But it made me think about sintered toilet paper and colored toilet paper. I didn't know there was scented toilet paper. Yeah, it's kind of like old thing because people realize like, hey, this like gives you infections. Yeah, kinda like scented tampons and shit. Yeah, those like weird fucking cramps. Well, I used Yeah, well, probably because they're like, Oh, here's some like, carcinogens. But it'll smell good when you
Unknown Speaker 25:47
so men don't have to deal with that period smell.
Unknown Speaker 25:52
We know what the ladies want. Um, so I was looking at scented toilet paper. I don't think I've ever used it. I just knew that it was a thing. But growing up my grandparents had like, an old blue bathroom like a blue toilet like blue. Whatever paper? Yes. And there was blue toilet paper. Oh, cool. And that is so bad. Because yeah, you don't want a bunch of dye near your anus.
Unknown Speaker 26:24
For your vagina, the
Unknown Speaker 26:27
nation. But I was looking at the different scented toilet papers. I have to go to vintage scented toilet paper because I guess they don't make it anymore, but it looks like Charmin makes a toilet paper where like, the cardboard part is scented. So I guess when you turn it like it kind of does a smell but it's not gonna go on your anus. There was a toilet paper but I want to show you a picture of
Unknown Speaker 27:02
it's Picture time. It's Picture time. Oh it's a okay new updated colors to match your bathroom. popery since put on the core. Put on the core not the paper. Okay, so like you're saying and it's like um there's like a sleeping not only a sleeping baby, but there's like a baby on the front of it. It looks so much like another baby that I've seen before. It's like imagine snuggles the bear like laying his little head on the blanket but it's like a Gerber Baby with more hair.
Unknown Speaker 27:37
I guess. Yeah, I missed the core part but Yeah, can you imagine just like pokery smell being
Unknown Speaker 27:44
mixed with your shit smells? Oh yeah. Yeah, I mean that might be good in some cases. You know just like before your gynecologist appointment you know just freshen up
Unknown Speaker 28:00
but then I decided to search Facebook for scented toilet paper because Oh, I saw
Unknown Speaker 28:07
I feel like you're gonna find some that just people spread with like a breeze and
Unknown Speaker 28:13
come get it. I was looking because I found some for sale but every time I clicked on one there already sold because I wanted to see what vintage vintage toilet paper sold for?
Unknown Speaker 28:25
Is this the sample that you got for us to try?
Unknown Speaker 28:29
Now I got about that though. So thank you. But I just the only thing that it pulled up on Facebook was a Facebook group that has three members. And it's called I don't care about standard toilet paper. It's gonna smell like shit in
Unknown Speaker 28:50
a very specific,
Unknown Speaker 28:51
I just find no, actually, I should just join the group. Join. Okay, I'm gonna join it and report back. I don't know why I didn't think of that before.
Unknown Speaker 29:05
I feel like they probably talked about three and stuff in there too. To try like I have it but I have it to actually try it.
Unknown Speaker 29:13
I feel like it kind of works. It works better than the old like Lysol that we talked about. Oh, yeah. My sister. Smells like shouldn't flowers in here. I get so fucking mad.
Unknown Speaker 29:28
It's gross. Yeah, no, it's
Unknown Speaker 29:32
it's always like
Unknown Speaker 29:35
I understand. It's like, this isn't gonna save me. Like, you know if you're in a public bathroom and stuff, but it's just, it was worse. It was just that.
Unknown Speaker 29:43
I don't know. There's that tinge of poop under there that you can just never escape.
Unknown Speaker 29:49
Hidden just a tinge of poop.
Unknown Speaker 29:54
But yeah, that's all about toilet paper. I said I'm just immature. So I thought it was funny.
Unknown Speaker 30:01
I mean, last week I was Googling synonyms for but um, and to change things up a little bit
Unknown Speaker 30:16
well speaking of children, maybe.
Unknown Speaker 30:19
Yes, yes, actually, yes. Speaking of children, I have more like disgusting lyrics. And I might take a break from the lyrics playing after this because like it's yeah, it's been like three weeks and it's Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 30:33
Insert British fan voice warning factors.
Unknown Speaker 30:37
Trigger warning for talking about men and underage girls again. Sorry,
Unknown Speaker 30:42
which like this might sound stupid, but I don't. I can pull up the lyrics for it if you want to talk about it more, but I did not realize that um, don't stand so close to me by the police was about like a teacher like being attracted to a student. You know, being like, don't stand close to me might get a boner. boner. Michael Scott do all the thing. I'm worried about getting a boner.
Unknown Speaker 31:11
Yeah, there's one line in that song where he says like, like that book by
Unknown Speaker 31:16
now. Not by Blair, but
Unknown Speaker 31:20
basically a cough but I'm probably saying it wrong. But yeah, that's the guy that wrote Lolita. The book about
Unknown Speaker 31:28
Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. So So first, I'll just kind of talk about this one I found it's called into the night by Benny Maradona's didn't look up like the backstory for the song or
Unknown Speaker 31:44
older. Yes, so okay. But here are the lyrics.
Unknown Speaker 31:47
This was the song. This is the crowd. This is me and the hurricanes. And this is for you. She's just 16 years old. Leave her alone, they say separated by fools who don't know what love is yet. But I want you to know if I could fly. I'd pick you up. I take you into the night and show you a love like you've never ever seen. Oh
Unknown Speaker 32:14
that motherfucker wears a fedora for sure.
Unknown Speaker 32:20
So obviously pedophile but also stupid boy yeah, the whole if I could find pick you up I take you on this fucking like Fedora II and also very kidnapper ish. Oh. Oh. scoop her up like a hawk in a fish.
Unknown Speaker 32:49
That also reminds me of that one song Steppenwolf. Why don't you come with me little girl on a magic carpet.
Unknown Speaker 32:58
Stop using the term
Unknown Speaker 33:01
didn't imagine writing a song that fucking ages so horribly like all these like, how I mean maybe people don't care I hopefully they do. They're like, Oh, I'm upset that I wrote a song like this. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 33:19
Can I delete it from the world? Or make a song that fixes it? Oh my Don't
Unknown Speaker 33:27
chicken with me grown woman on a magic carpet ride.
Unknown Speaker 33:31
I don't know that might help a little bit. I mean, it's just kind of like an I don't know if you're familiar with the band. They Might Be Giants, but they made the song about the sun. And then they learned some like new research stuff about the sun and then they made a different song. Oh, that was like, forget what we said in the past.
Unknown Speaker 33:53
Okay, cool. Cool.
Unknown Speaker 33:55
Um, and to continue on with this. I don't really know what else to refer to it as. But do you recall cod it just I've just been reading about it. So now just saying out loud. I just want like for open my mouth um, but our Kelly and Alia now remember, okay, so um, I
Unknown Speaker 34:21
don't think you remember this. So,
Unknown Speaker 34:23
I guess I'll just kind of talk about it briefly because I have a little bit of some notes here. So she was signed on to Jive Records at the age of 12 which is when she first met our Kelly and stuff. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 34:39
man. We know where it's going from. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 34:43
And he wrote in produced a song for her. I want to say like with her, but I didn't like sing with her. He just wrote the song and produced it. And she sang it. Um, so do you want to hear the lyrics? First are the little story that kind of accompanies them.
Unknown Speaker 35:05
I'll let you decide which traumatic road we go down.
Unknown Speaker 35:09
Okay. Let's, I guess we'll start with the song because Yeah. All right. Let's just go. So the song is called age ain't nothing but a number.
Unknown Speaker 35:23
No. What year did this come out? Probably like early 90s.
Unknown Speaker 35:27
Let me see. It came out in blahblah 94. Okay. So she was 14 when she made that song. Correction. 15 Hmm. Written by our Kelly. And so it goes, it goes. Ain't nothing but a number thrown down ain't nothing but a thing. This something I have for you. It will never change. Agent nothing but a number. Oh, holy moly, it repeats here I am. And there you are. Your eyes are calling me to your heart. All you got to do is not let you in. And we will feel feel the passion that flows within. I don't mean to be bold, but I gotta let you know. I got a thing for you and I can't let go. Ain't nothing but a number. Throwing down ain't nothing but a thing. So far. This is something I have for you. It'll never change the course again. Let me show you to ecstasy. Boy. Be brave. Don't be afraid. We're gonna go all the way. Don't mean to be bold. I gotta let you know I got a thing for you. And I can't let go. And the chorus again. And again. I just like copy these ones instead of like, right like so what's up? Here I am. Reach baby. Come here ain't nothing but a number. I don't mean to be bold. Okay, of course again. Yeah, and then yeah, it closes that with course. So that's the song that our Kelly made for a 14 year old girl just saying. Right. And the little kind of story between them.
Unknown Speaker 37:28
So yeah,
Unknown Speaker 37:31
they got married when she was 15 was yeah, they had like, No, this. Yeah, they had like a secret ceremony. And they said she was 18. And they had like a fake identification thing. Why? Yeah. And I'm pretty sure it got like an old like, sometime after but like, yeah, they weren't married when she died or anything? Yeah, no, I don't I don't think so. Um, and I was reading a little more about it and what some, some articles were saying was that it had to do with like, a pregnancy scare. And some people were also saying, and this was from a witness on his like, recent trial with all the other fucking things he's done with underage girls. She was saying that it was so she could get an abortion, but like, I don't know how that would like make it.
Unknown Speaker 38:28
Like her parents. signed off on them. Yeah, maybe. But he wouldn't. He'd be like, absolutely. Yeah. And we need to erase my creepy ass evidence. He knew it now. I feel. I mean, I didn't really feel bad laughing at stuff he did before. But now I'm like, No, it's my duty to Yeah, fuck you just so fucking cringy like, we recorded an episode like a long time ago. It was probably Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 38:57
If we put it out. Yeah, cuz it was like an extra thing.
Unknown Speaker 38:59
Yeah, we talked about this. Jamie found this weird fucking song
Unknown Speaker 39:06
that he did. And let me see if I can find my notes on it.
Unknown Speaker 39:09
Yeah, cuz I guess he'll do like, in his performances, he'll kind of do little like, stories and saying and like jump around like a weirdo. And I found my notes. Yeah. It lives on.
Unknown Speaker 39:25
Um, yeah, so yeah, like Alyssa was saying he like, will like jump around stage and um, I don't think I've notes on this part. But I remember he had like a sign that was like, if you're 18 or like, whatever, come with me or some shit, like, was so weird. But, so he was in one one year and Ethiopia for New Year's. And he announced that his girlfriend broke up with him before where he came and makes a little jingle and starts to sing to the crowd Oh no This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated oh let me see if I can find it real quick are Kelly up
Unknown Speaker 40:21
Put your hands in the air right now so I can see you it's so many UK a few single day
Unknown Speaker 40:41
now I would like to get to know you and talk to you have a drink or something and we can just have something to eat and just
Unknown Speaker 40:52
what at the end of the conversation? At the end of the conversation, I'm gonna want you to come back to America with
Unknown Speaker 40:58
me. I know I am.
Unknown Speaker 41:04
So you got to be willing to split the difference come to America and see me I come out here to see you. Meet the Opia but it's so hard to get back and forth so hard to get back for problem. How am I gonna get you from Ethiopia? To America?
Unknown Speaker 41:28
Let me think. Let me think I got it. Do you have your passport? Did you get your shots? girl would you like to come back? We'll drop to America
Unknown Speaker 42:03
do you have your purse? girl would you like to come back with Rob to America do you have your path?
Unknown Speaker 43:00
My favorite bar. It feels like extremely condescending. Like fucking like cat or something cheeky rabies shot. Yeah. Yeah, but you can tell that this is dated because now people hate shots and vaccines. It's your right not to do any of that. Fine. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 43:25
It's cool. Oh, so yeah. That was a fun or Kelly tangent. We, I mean, I'm sure there's many more things that we could say about him. And like stuck in a closet and all those things.
Unknown Speaker 43:41
Oh, man. And I look at him any and I look at him. So weird.
Unknown Speaker 43:50
Let me see if I can find the Oh yeah, like I'm just like scrolling down through like our Kelly YouTube stuff. It's like are Kelly recruiting 18 year old girls to quote play house during concert? Oh, yeah. Fun. So
Unknown Speaker 44:07
man, that was a
Unknown Speaker 44:09
that was a doozy. Let me pull my notes back up.
Unknown Speaker 44:12
This is the songs that didn't age well segment potty on then.
Unknown Speaker 44:18
Um, okay. Yeah, so I also have one by I've never heard of this person before. But it's Deodato it's called the keep it in the family. And that's from 1982
Unknown Speaker 44:33
This is the Mississippi anthem. Stay song.
Unknown Speaker 44:38
We were fighting over it with Alabama but um, so it goes. It opens with the chorus it says keep it in the family. That's what Papa told me. I said in the family. Peace, love and harmony. And then continues on to. Boy, you feel so good. It's all right with me. Please don't tell anybody. We got to keep it in the family. You and me. Oh yeah
Unknown Speaker 45:16
and then it goes to the course a couple times. I'm just one night with you. That's my fantasy. Please don't tell me buddy, we got to keep it in the family, you and me. Land goes to the chorus. You gotta say there's no denying we got to keep it in the family and the chorus again. And it's funny. I'm scrolling through the YouTube comments and like, some people were like, Yeah, that sounds awesome. And like other half of the people are like what the fuck
Unknown Speaker 45:44
about that reminds me a Billy Idol. That song went white wedding that's like about him and his sister. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 45:56
really? Little Sister. Wedding. Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't realize I was like him and his sister. I just was like, maybe he's just being a dick to his sister about like, getting pregnant before marriage or some shit.
Unknown Speaker 46:15
I mean, I guess it could be.
Unknown Speaker 46:18
Oh, I guess I'll have to dig into that one. Oh, yeah. And that's all I have for the lyric stuff. today. I think I already talked about Christine 16 by kiss you so that's all I got for now. I need a break from that stuff.
Unknown Speaker 46:38
Yeah. I have something to cleanse or pallets. Oh, even though it may not be very cleansing, but I get that. All right.
Unknown Speaker 46:49
Let's take a Interrobang
Unknown Speaker 47:06
Okay, so this is an ice cream by the same brand that we tried before. Do you want to do a sniff test to see what it felt like? It really smells like anything. Maybe cheese again.
Unknown Speaker 47:21
I'm kind of getting just like a. This is like a general theory. This has some kind
Unknown Speaker 47:25
of like reddish swirls, so I'm gonna get a little bit of the swirl.
Unknown Speaker 47:30
It makes me nervous. Just not knowing what to do. I'm gonna take a guess. Let me let me try. I guess
Unknown Speaker 47:36
123 Eating sounds. It doesn't taste like what it is. Just tastes like the macaroni and cheese again. I feel like
Unknown Speaker 47:46
just tastes like toffee. Like a toffee candy. I think the
Unknown Speaker 47:51
swirl is like
Unknown Speaker 47:54
caramely if this is ketchup, I'm
Unknown Speaker 47:58
so angry. It's pizza somehow.
Unknown Speaker 48:01
Really? Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 48:03
don't get pizza at all. It's actually decent.
Unknown Speaker 48:07
I think I got a part that's supposed to be like crust. Okay, that's not bad.
Unknown Speaker 48:13
Well, this was a little bit disappointing for the podcast, but
Unknown Speaker 48:18
we tried it. So you don't have to. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 48:22
I still need to get the Grey Poupon one when it goes on. Oh, I
Unknown Speaker 48:25
don't want it we'll try like the little like, like you know, the sample sound Oh, yeah, that's kind of disappointing. Finish. Let's just because like, it just seems really gross to me now.
Unknown Speaker 48:46
Yeah, so weird.
Unknown Speaker 48:49
But thank you for coming in. It's so gross. Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 48:56
It's weird. I almost feel like they just put them out.
Unknown Speaker 48:59
Small makes more sense. To me. Yeah, I'm kind of confused because to me, I don't get pizza at
Unknown Speaker 49:09
all. So why did they? I guess they put that on the container just to sell shit.
Unknown Speaker 49:13
Yeah, I guess. Is there like a Cheetos ice cream? I'm surprised there's not like a Flaming Hot Cheetos. I
Unknown Speaker 49:20
would definitely try that.
Unknown Speaker 49:22
I take a little little Be on the lookout. A little nibble. Oh, we need to try
Unknown Speaker 49:28
the flaming hot Mountain Dew.
Unknown Speaker 49:31
Oh, yay. Yeah, I feel like we have to try that with Chris. Yeah, just uh, we
Unknown Speaker 49:35
talked about it. Okay, that's like we have
Unknown Speaker 49:37
to do. Thanks for the obligation, man. Yeah, thanks. Hey Hey, you gotta wait for me. For some ma'am. Um, Sorry I'm trying to like drink some water and get this out of my throat does it give any cheese throat?
Unknown Speaker 50:06
Oh wow yeah that's how we test um yeah, it's just like I feel it kind of like stuck in my throat and it's maybe what brain is this ice cream because it gives me really bad cheese
Unknown Speaker 50:25
van something Bob Vance refrigeration
Unknown Speaker 50:31
see Google News. Do you have cheese throat? No fine, ma'am. I just got like one bite of it and it's just like, wow
Unknown Speaker 50:44
it's Van Van Leeuwen, bio. Find a friend. It's LEUWE en, but okay. Yeah, let's see what people online. Oh, the swirls are supposed to be tomato jam. Oh, okay. So okay, this makes a little more sense reading it because it says new pizza flavored ice cream with mozzarella. And tomato jam swirls is coming to Walmart. Oh, and I see the crust in the picture. I didn't get any in my scoop.
Unknown Speaker 51:21
though. It's just almost like a flavorless cookie dough. That's a little chewier
Unknown Speaker 51:27
Oh, so looks like it came to stores March 14. So yeah, we're eating old pizza been on the show for six months
Unknown Speaker 51:39
well that's more realistic right? Yeah. Um, I mean I can jam was some like tomato jam was like not it's not bad stuff.
Unknown Speaker 51:51
Here have jalapeno jelly.
Unknown Speaker 51:53
Yeah, I had that with some some
Unknown Speaker 51:57
pork what's it called? Cream cheese?
Unknown Speaker 51:58
Cream cheese cream cheese and pepper jellies. It's good well Ritz Cracker I have it on my hand no sadly licking your hand Wow I'll hold my hand Oh, that was not a good boy. Up pizza now Brandon, if you're listening please do a better version of that.
Unknown Speaker 52:29
Send us a compilation of like 30 seconds of you just being like wow wow wow.
Unknown Speaker 52:37
Maybe we could use that for whenever we have to like a little break between stuff and dialing things because I think D Roc said that the dial tone thing scared him so I don't know if I'm gonna do that anymore. Because it was like like a like a warning message from like or whatever Iraq was like wow oh no wow I take pictures wow
Unknown Speaker 53:15
it's very advanced
Unknown Speaker 53:19
I really do like this because we we love you do so. And you know fat heads. We love you to walk home
Unknown Speaker 53:36
Wow. Wow. See you next week. By fat heads
Unknown Speaker 53:41
or why?
Unknown Speaker 53:51
Unique New York. Unique. New York. New York. Does doesn't sound like real words.
Unknown Speaker 53:58
It is hard to say.
Unknown Speaker 54:00
Do your Wow. Again.
Unknown Speaker 54:01
Wow. Wow. We try to do like Christopher Walken. Okay. Wow. Is that all decent? You have a Christopher Walken impression you'd like to attempt Hey,
Unknown Speaker 54:23
I'm the guy in the fat boy. Slim music video
Unknown Speaker 54:26
Oh, yeah. Nervous Are you okay?
Unknown Speaker 54:36
Next to them from today. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 54:40
we're back with some ice cream.
Unknown Speaker 54:41
Oh, we turned it on already. Oh, yeah. I
Unknown Speaker 54:43
was just getting room noise. Oh, okay.