Catch up with the ladies, hear an awesome Arnold impression, learn a new weird word, and learn more about Theodore Anthony Nugent.
Catch up with the ladies, hear an awesome Arnold impression, learn a new weird word, and learn more about Theodore Anthony Nugent.
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
I found another weird alternative health thing that took me to some weird. Q anon people I don't know if you've heard of it. It's called perennials, sunning
Unknown Speaker 0:14
perennial, whole thing. Is it like the thing where people get nutrients from the sun and claim they don't eat food.
Unknown Speaker 0:45
I think this is a little bit more about energy. So it's like sending your butthole for 10 minutes gives you enough vitamin D than if your your your clothes outside all day or something. It's supposed to be like a cup of coffee.
Unknown Speaker 1:04
Like your butthole is like an extra. Like
Unknown Speaker 1:07
it's another mouth. For nutrients some
Unknown Speaker 1:11
if I'm not mistaken, have taste. Oh, I don't know how that works. So dump scares. Welcome to nervous laughter podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:23
Welcome, everybody. If you want to see some pictures of people sending their buttholes let me know I guess I probably shouldn't put them on Instagram. But we could
Unknown Speaker 1:33
maybe like, just put a little like fun emoji over the butthole or something. The
Unknown Speaker 1:39
ones I've seen it is from the back. So when they actually show a home, it's just like all these the adults like? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:50
Yeah, I'll have to, um, find more information about the people that claim they don't eat food and just like
Unknown Speaker 1:58
what holds?
Unknown Speaker 2:00
Only translatable?
Unknown Speaker 2:04
Um, so last week, we were talking about ahnold Oh, yeah. And one of you lovely fat heads. Santos an awesome impression. Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 2:15
Yes. Rin Santos. This
Unknown Speaker 2:18
is a former governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry. Sorry.
Unknown Speaker 2:38
I kind of want yeah, I'll send it to
Unknown Speaker 2:43
you. Oh, that was incredible. Um, man, I almost want to like ask for requests.
Unknown Speaker 2:49
I'm sure they would do it.
Unknown Speaker 2:54
I also feel honored. That there was a thing like a response to that. Oh, yeah, thank you. Oh, wow. One lucky to my home. Doing so bad at it now. Like we were. We had a scary movie night with hope who has been on the podcast on Friday? And it was um, yes. Doesn't say Baba good. Baba. gabagool. Um, and everyone in that movie is British. And so we were doing British.
Unknown Speaker 3:33
They got so fucking bad.
Unknown Speaker 3:35
They started out pretty good. Well, I would say excellent, actually. And then they just went down really fast. But oh, man. It was so much fun. You guys like I don't know if we could ever get a license to a movie to do like something like that on YouTube one day, but oh my god, I was fucking laughing so hard. Like I went to the bathroom when I was just even laughing.
Unknown Speaker 4:00
Open I heard her laugh in the bathroom or like what the
Unknown Speaker 4:04
but there is a part where um, so for those who aren't familiar with the movie, it's just like the to set the scene. It's like a mother and son and they're kind of coming up on the anniversary of the father's death who died on the way to the hospital. And that's not a spoiler. Let's just kind of the premise of the movie. And then he keeps telling people as dad died she started acting like erratic when I guess came over to the house and then Alyssa said Don't mind him his father die.
Unknown Speaker 4:41
I don't know why but it just
Unknown Speaker 4:45
got me so bad. And then I just kept thinking about it and kept laughing and I can't wait for the next one because that was just
Unknown Speaker 4:53
oh my gosh, someday I hope we're big enough to have a Patreon and we can do like a a voiceover thing I mean, if it's a private thing, it's probably okay.
Unknown Speaker 5:08
There's like that master paying whatever I have yet to
Unknown Speaker 5:11
go to. Because it's so fun. I've been to a couple of them. It's awesome.
Unknown Speaker 5:15
So maybe we'll figure that out. One day fat heads. Yes. In speaking of the cinemas cinema to watch a film. I'm Alyssa was talking about Sons of Anarchy.
Unknown Speaker 5:31
Oh, yes. The secret sibling love affair.
Unknown Speaker 5:36
We just asked Brandon before this, if he would stay with me. And I will at first he answered jokingly and said like hell no, or whatever. And he was like, Yeah, you know, it's kind of like me, like at this point. Whatever. Like hell yeah.
Unknown Speaker 5:56
Looking good today, brother.
Unknown Speaker 6:00
Nice jeans, I got the same one. Um, and another update that I forgot to mention. When we were talking about me being sick last week, I accidentally called Alyssa on a video call on Instagram.
Unknown Speaker 6:23
It was the most Boomer thing ever. I was like, I wonder why she's calling me because we're just talking on there. And I answered and she's like, I don't know how I did this. Jamie came out.
Unknown Speaker 6:37
Like, just I covered my face. I was like, Don't look at me. And because I couldn't find the like, hang up button, because yeah, it was tricky.
Unknown Speaker 6:46
I didn't know where it was either. I was just
Unknown Speaker 6:48
laughing Oh, yeah, I always Yeah. I have a lot of people that accidentally call and hang up on time. Oh, yeah. No, yeah. But yeah, I didn't even know I called you so being sick will do that to you. Yeah. I'm sorry. I keep talking. I have so many like talking.
Unknown Speaker 7:13
No, I think I wore myself out doing all the British narration on Friday just talking so much shit. I mean, part of it was like I feel bad because like Jamie's never seen this movie and like, I don't know, I think hope Thanks. Okay, but I just like couldn't stop. Like narrating and British voice whatever.
Unknown Speaker 7:39
I mean, I had to keep doing it too. It was just
Unknown Speaker 7:42
so good. I'm trying to think of some of the other ones but they're really funny, but I can
Unknown Speaker 7:52
just keep thinking bloke is screaming mouse gets so funny. Um, but I also wanted to talk about something that I saw on Facebook from someone back in Mississippi on the Gulf Coast. It was a I think I told you about this before but I kept forgetting to talk about on the podcast
Unknown Speaker 8:18
of mayonnaise festival
Unknown Speaker 8:24
I could see why you think that
Unknown Speaker 8:25
might bring your own bringing on bone by
Unknown Speaker 8:37
there was a Mississippi mental health day and I saw this because the person posts that they won a like drink mixing bartender competition at this mental health
Unknown Speaker 8:53
zero day.
Unknown Speaker 8:56
Which like seems kind of weird to me.
Unknown Speaker 9:00
Yeah. Slippery slope with mental health and alcoholism but okay,
Unknown Speaker 9:05
that's fine. But it was also called they called the festival Don't worry be happy. I'm mad. Which just makes me like want to just pound my fist in my head. Very hard so many times.
Unknown Speaker 9:23
Yeah, that's a very privileged
Unknown Speaker 9:28
I mean, same for the fucking drink milk like, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 9:32
I guess they tried maybe at least I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 9:36
It just kind of I think speaks also to how a lot of the South maybe not just the South but you know a lot of people think of mental health like just to have a drink. worry.
Unknown Speaker 9:52
It'll provide
Unknown Speaker 9:56
everything happens for a reason. Ah, so that's all I have on that little part because that speaks for itself.
Unknown Speaker 10:10
Oh, there was one thing that I think is going to tell Oh, wait, no, nevermind, you go first. You have weird word first, right?
Unknown Speaker 10:18
Yeah. Does your spit better before the word?
Unknown Speaker 10:21
No, I don't tie in with your next thing. Okay. Okay, I jumped ahead.
Unknown Speaker 10:25
Um, so hold on, I have to look it up real quick so last night I was looking for synonyms for but um, I just needed one.
Unknown Speaker 10:47
I'm sharing why,
Unknown Speaker 10:49
um, I was someone posted this picture on I think it was like a group where we all pretend to be boomers or some, like, violently American kind of group. And it was a picture of this dude with like, a huge ass and he had his gun poking out of the back of his pants was so I wanted to pose something that like kind of rhymed or not. Well, yeah, so I know. I wanted to make a post the first line was
Unknown Speaker 11:29
you may have a license to carry that gun.
Unknown Speaker 11:35
And then the wild what I came up with the second sentence was but does he have a license to carry that bone? So because all I could think of was but and I was like, I need a better word for by Oh, okay, that goes better with like, guns and weapons or at least bribes. So that's what I was looking for a synonym for but I see. And I found the word "F*g end". And it is a real word. I was like her for like our friends say. Wow.
Unknown Speaker 12:17
F A, G E N D?
Unknown Speaker 12:22
Yeah. It was very good. Yeah. So like a split. Split word to word. Yeah. And there are two definitions as defined by Merriam Webster. The first definition is a a poor or worn out and be the extreme end. Now I feel like we're like five
Unknown Speaker 12:57
okay. So what's going through my head? What do you want to share? I mean, what century is this from? Surely a long time ago, right? Okay, um, it feels Hey, cry me.
Unknown Speaker 13:14
First known use of f*g end I don't even want to say the word anymore. I'm not gonna say the word anymore. I feel weird saying it. First. No news is circa 1600. In the sense of the definition that I just read. And the History and etymology is Middle English for it says middle, middle English fag flap. It's spelled FA G G E. And I'm very sorry, but I don't know what that is. Maybe I can look that up in a moment. But the second definition is, so number two, A, the last part or coarser end of a web of cloth and be a untwisted into rope.
Unknown Speaker 14:10
The you know, the just feel weird.
Unknown Speaker 14:15
Alright, let me see if I can find what that flap thing is too. Okay, yeah. I just Googled flag flap and it just comes up with Fagin. So I'm sorry, I don't I guess that was just the longer word
Unknown Speaker 14:40
for it back in the day. Okay, interesting.
Unknown Speaker 14:45
So yeah, but as it's twisted into the modern age of two days, it makes this word and weird.
Unknown Speaker 14:55
Really work anymore. There's actually a thing that I've had on my list. I'm going to pull it up real quick it relates to that. So there is a car company. And their initials are FA G all these box shops are a red barn, white letters and I want to say it's German and it's just initials that like doesn't mean anything, I guess. But yeah. Let me pull up a
Unknown Speaker 15:35
picture of it. Let's see what this is. Oh
Unknown Speaker 15:43
this is gonna be a weird thing to get in the mail, if you don't know
Unknown Speaker 15:48
is a German brand under the manufacturer Schaeffler group. Yeah, so it's another language so? Yeah. Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 16:01
So sorry about that, if it came off. I'm trying to report some of this weird stuff we're finding and I'm just trying to do my best
Unknown Speaker 16:15
he came across bad. I mean,
Unknown Speaker 16:18
kinda have to add to someone like cringy stuff my dad does. He uses that word. Read, I'm like, oh my god, shut off. But
Unknown Speaker 16:30
I have this uncle that I haven't seen in a long time. That's a fucking shithead. And I guess he just like says the word queer a lot like calling people that like, so my uncle like says that word not in a good way, you know, like trying to be a dick. And I was like, Man, fuck that guy. And my dad was like, well, the gay people call themselves that. And I was like, that's not the same fucking thing. Yeah. Not the same thing at all. And he laughed because he knew he was being a fucking jackass. I'm like, Yeah, I don't love any of my family anymore. Except my sister
Unknown Speaker 17:08
Just we'd love to have you back on the show. And piece together and close out with I'm trying to figure out how to segue into our next thing. This is very American. And you know who else is American? I would almost actually say like a personified American. I'm sure both of
Unknown Speaker 17:36
our dads Swans have sky man's man
Unknown Speaker 17:41
and I can I guess kick off with my script. It's a car it's a dumpster No, it's Ted Nugent on a buffalo wing
Unknown Speaker 17:51
is an all American man
Unknown Speaker 18:03
so just to kind of set the expectations for the script and research I have I didn't get to go like super in depth and stuff on it as I wanted and like stuff, but I kind of wrote but I feel like it's kind of like a decent intro. And then I have some bullet points. And I know you know, a decent amount about Ted Nugent. So feel free to like jump in at any point of this.
Unknown Speaker 18:30
I feel like you and I were both raised by semi Ted Nugent like man
Unknown Speaker 18:41
it's funny to me, because the more so I didn't really know anything about Ted Nugent.
Unknown Speaker 18:47
I don't know a ton. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 18:48
just knew that he was like a classic rock musician. I didn't know anything. And then like when I started looking at stuff I was like, Oh, he's saying Cat Scratch Fever. And what else? Yeah, I actually have anything heard of any of these other songs? But it's funny because all the stuff I was watching on him. He's such a fucking egotistical gas, blah, blah, blah. Like I'm hot shit. And I mean, like, so it's just funny because I'm like, Dude, I didn't even know like who the fuck like not that I'm anybody in the gym. Like, who I know matters, but had Nugent's going out of style baby. So Oh, wow, that was actually my, my intro of the script just talking about how I didn't know who he was. I don't think I've heard any other songs and I don't mind keeping it that way because it seems like an egg. Yeah. Second eggs been my favorite thing to say. lately. I've been really on that kick. And the quickest way I can think to describe Ted Nugent is an American stereotypes personified he was born in 1948 as Theodore so I kind of just calling him three Theodore because it's I feel like it is a little bit of a lame not lamer name a little bit of a softer name. Yeah. Calling him feed the word yeah
Unknown Speaker 20:23
how to change it Ted
Unknown Speaker 20:25
some hard maybe that's why he felt like he had to prove some stuff. It's been tough like a what's it called? Like? Johnny Cash is song a boy named I'm sorry, side tangent on that because that just put me back into a childhood memory. My dad had this country mix CD that I don't know if he made it or a friend made it. But it was just some like older country songs and he made us memorize the word to a lot of those songs.
Unknown Speaker 21:03
Which was
Unknown Speaker 21:06
um, fuck, what's that one a country boy can survive.
Unknown Speaker 21:12
It's like, here's some prime indoctrination. Memorize country song. cowboy life
Unknown Speaker 21:20
I don't know if I remember the lyrics so much but um, let's see the preacher my own science and time in the Mississippi River she's going dry
Unknown Speaker 21:34
on your new near near beautiful is bringing me to tears.
Unknown Speaker 21:37
Oh, God and one other part of that song I'm sorry, but I have to do it every time I think of a song the part where he's like talking about having a friend from New York City money never call me by my name just hillbilly what I like to spit some beach nuttin that dudes shoot him with my whole food.
Unknown Speaker 22:07
Okay eight year old Jamie Stivers
Unknown Speaker 22:17
shooting Yankee
Unknown Speaker 22:22
sounds like a slippery slope isn't some warriors got started
Unknown Speaker 22:27
there was also the fucking wall we'd had it my dad was probably wrongful present Oh southern states. Oh my god. Daddy. Oh wait the way you save the day something died we show our national pride I'm
Unknown Speaker 22:48
so thankful that you turned out to be a normal human being ah
Unknown Speaker 22:59
but I did get a few good Johnny Cash lungs out of cash is kind of a win. Now I don't know a history about Johnny Cash. So if I find some
Unknown Speaker 23:12
money laundering stealing shit.
Unknown Speaker 23:16
I'm okay. Sorry. Let's get back to touch. Yeah, so Theodore? I'm sorry, Theodore Nugent. More than 48 and then um, probably didn't have an interesting childhood so we will we'll fast forward to the Vietnam War where he became one what is that it's
Unknown Speaker 23:38
supposed to be Creedence Clearwater Revival, but I I don't know
Unknown Speaker 23:43
the song of this like
Unknown Speaker 23:50
it's the one in Forrest Gump when they're like going to war. Uh, and funnily enough, it's a song that Trump would use at his rallies and CCR was like Don't fucking use that shit because it's about like people like you that were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 24:11
I remember unfortunately. That Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 24:16
Oh, god dammit. I just need to play this real quick. Theodore is in true Oh, yeah. Okay, tell us about the door
Unknown Speaker 24:38
And so
Unknown Speaker 24:43
fast forward to the Vietnam War doo doo doo. Where he became old enough for the draft. Um, he claimed in two different interviews that he intentionally
Unknown Speaker 24:55
sorry I didn't know it's gonna hit
Unknown Speaker 24:57
I think it was was like High Times and I I'm sorry, I can't remember the other one offhand. I can cite my sources in the notes, I guess. But yeah, he claimed that he intentionally failed his physical by eating nothing but junk food and drink and Pepsi. The days leading up to scone and started dedicating his pants
Unknown Speaker 25:22
I guess I didn't know this. I thought he was gonna be like a draft dodger or something. Oh, I mean,
Unknown Speaker 25:26
he dodged it. Yeah. Yeah. It's unclear to me if the actual dedication took place like days leading up to or like he showed up to. Sorry.
Unknown Speaker 25:45
My pants.
Unknown Speaker 25:48
He said. So Theodore said, If I would have gone over there, I'd have been killed or good. I have killed all the hypsi all the hippies and all the foxholes. I would have killed everybody.
Unknown Speaker 26:05
Why didn't like he would have killed the Americans. Because they're hippies. Okay, I guess that makes sense. Dude,
Unknown Speaker 26:13
he really really hates like, vegans and like hippies. And
Unknown Speaker 26:22
of course, those are always the men who are secretly gay. Or that you hate more secretly getting your
Unknown Speaker 26:29
I feel like maybe he's secretly vegan. I don't know. Maybe they're not there. And more so just to make Theodore mad, but, you know, imagine him in his little like underwear holding his gun like you like to, like try to get people to because he's like, because a lot of people are like Ted Nugent. You should just be gone. I'm sorry, Theodore. You should just be gone. And he's like, Well, come on, man. Oh, my gosh, Lan. Like,
Unknown Speaker 27:00
I'm not gonna say what I'm thinking because I don't want them to the recording of me saying it. But yeah.
Unknown Speaker 27:09
He's a more recently he has retracted that story on the Joe Rogan experience pod.
Unknown Speaker 27:17
He would go on Joe Rogan.
Unknown Speaker 27:19
He's like, No, I swear, I'm an alpha male.
Unknown Speaker 27:23
I don't wash my butthole either.
Unknown Speaker 27:28
Um, and on the podcast, of course, like Joe Rogan's very alpha male. I'm big man. So Theodore probably also felt that he had to
Unknown Speaker 27:44
him yeah, he was feeding off of Joe's alpha male testosterone energy. And
Unknown Speaker 27:49
he claimed that he did indeed become eligible and passed his physical. But he said he never but a teen never served in the military. So I'm assuming he completely dodged the whole thing. And like, I go, well, to make sure and learn things like Ted Nugent never served in the military. So I don't know. Now he's lying about it. And now it makes me feel like the whole shitting his pants thing is true. Yeah. And he's just embarrassed about it now.
Unknown Speaker 28:18
Theodore, what are you fucking doing?
Unknown Speaker 28:22
For Theodore? And that's all I had written up for my script. So I'm jumping over to my bullet points. So sorry if it's sounds more scattered or something. And I also have some quotes that I'm just gonna
Unknown Speaker 28:37
generate. Can't wait. Um, let's see.
Unknown Speaker 28:41
Some of my bullet points aren't helpful. It's just like loves gun and loves guns. Anti drug. Anti drug. Yeah. Which is funny, I haven't. That's something that I don't really have a lot to talk about. Because like, I want to look into it more, but I guess he was a part of like, the a lot of like, big psychedelic kind of rock bands. And a lot of people think he probably did drugs, but he claims he never did. But I guess a lot. Some of the songs they wrote was like about drugs and stuff. Some there's one song journey to the center of the mind was about doing some drugs or whatever, but he was like, I didn't know what it was about that. I thought it was just you know, like, spiritual and you know, journeying in your own mind is a very light or coming to experience or whatever. No, I'm just like, sounds like you did a lot of drugs to say something like that.
Unknown Speaker 29:35
Yeah, sounds like you don't wash your butthole but okay.
Unknown Speaker 29:40
Heads up to dudes. There will be talk involving an adult man and underage girls. So if that is triggering to some, you may want to depart soon. Lots of love fat heads. Um, so let's see.
Unknown Speaker 29:58
Yeah, as he was coming up in low rock'n'roll world he was having like tons of sex. He had two kids by the age of 21. Um, so he just wasn't being safe about it either.
Unknown Speaker 30:12
Their names like bald eagle and like
Unknown Speaker 30:22
buffalo we talked to God say buffalo.
Unknown Speaker 30:25
Apple pie and bald eagle. My daughter baldy
Unknown Speaker 30:29
45 We're here 45 His first name is Colt middle name for you. Um, he met his wife Sandra, or, well, you met her and then she became his wife. And it kind of creeps me out. This this quote he said about her. He said, um, I met this little girl and I couldn't get her out my mind. Talk about love Hopeless Love. So I don't know. Okay. Yes. The age I have is 22. But I think that's when they got married. So I don't know if they met like before. Either way, it it really bothers me when I know. A little girl thing. Don't fucking say that word. Something say even if she's like fucking 24
Unknown Speaker 31:23
That's cool, man. Yeah. Woman or adult person doesn't have that song that's like, what's your own name? Little girl? Actually, I think that might be
Unknown Speaker 31:35
a different one. But I do have some song quotes by jump ahead. Great way to segue into it though, because he so they get divorced. And I don't know exactly why, but it seems like also like the reasons all his other relationships got messed up was because he just kept sleeping with women like all the time. And a lot of it probably wasn't actually women. A lot of it probably was younger girls, um, a lot of what I was watching alluded to that, and it kind of bothered me because a lot of people were like, Yeah, you know, you just saw a problem with with the girls and I'm like, It's a fucking pedophile. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 32:18
Not slight problem.
Unknown Speaker 32:24
Because I watched a VHS one behind the music and had like, a lot of different interviews and stuff. And they were talking to a lot of other people. Just about them. And um, well, it's funny because I could tell one guy like really did not like him. And he was, but he wouldn't just say like, straight out douchey stuff. He was just Yeah, theater Wars music. Well, he said Ted, but mostly Theodore. His music was really like, meat and potatoes rock and roll with with with emphasis on the meat.
Unknown Speaker 32:57
Awesome insult. That song is Leonard scattered not
Unknown Speaker 33:00
him. Okay, okay. Okay. Oops. Um, yeah. And so he starts to date this 17 year old girl torsion. So, you know, he's into all these young women. And so I'll jump into some of his song lyrics at this point. So I'm going to talk about two of the songs. Little Miss dangerous. I don't know if I should just like try to sing it or not, but I'm just gonna read it.
Unknown Speaker 33:26
could read it in the Teddy voice or Theodore voice? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 33:29
She makes her move at midnight. She's got a magic touch. The little girl's dangerous and a little bit too much. In the midnight hour about the stroke of 12. She'll be stepping out just gonna raise some hail. And it's her move. She's holding that wildcard gotta make her move to make your life so hard. High heels, sneakers, head to toe and lice such a dangerous body with a little girl's face
Unknown Speaker 34:12
this is just like further proof that boomers just like romanticize like trauma, like childhood memories, and just
Unknown Speaker 34:19
to kind of like, echo on that or not echo on that. But like, um, so her name is Pele Moss, Messiah. Um, and she even said like in the interview, hold on. I think I wrote down the quote. Oh, here it is. Okay. She said that even back in the 70s it was inappropriate. It was not an appropriate situations in most people's eyes. So like fuck people being like, yeah. It's like, no, people were just more it's like, if you have a talent, you can get away with everything. And that was bugging me in the VH one angles Everyone kept saying like he's really talented. It's like Who gives a fuck fuck that
Unknown Speaker 35:03
guy? Yeah, he's a fucking pedo
Unknown Speaker 35:08
Yeah. And another song
Unknown Speaker 35:13
I can handle
Unknown Speaker 35:14
jailbait I'll give you a moment to let that process
Unknown Speaker 35:22
okay. I love younger girls
Unknown Speaker 35:28
he just spells it out for everybody and everyone just fucking let it slide so I'll kind of circle back to the relationship he had with Pele a little bit so well I don't care if you're just 13 No, too good to be true.
Unknown Speaker 35:46
Absolutely not.
Unknown Speaker 35:48
I just know that you're probably clean there's one little thing you got to do, jailbait You look so good to me, jailbait Why don't you set me free? jailbait? You look fine? Fine. Fine. I know I've got to have you in a matter of time. So tell your mom Well, then I'm back in town. She likes us boys. When it's time to get down boys. She's got this craving for the younger age. I just might be your mom was brand new rage. She's got this craving Oh, wait, no. Well, I read that part. Okay, so it's the chorus again, jailbait. You look good to me. Honey, you you you look so nice. She's young. She's tender, won't you please surrender. She's So Fine. She's mine. All the time. All the time. Are all mine mine is all right. Maybe it's quiet. All right, I asked your mama. Wait a minute officer. Don't put those handcuffs on me. Put them on her and I'll share her with you
Unknown Speaker 36:59
know a fucking dead and Theodore I'm gonna be your ass Theodore.
Unknown Speaker 37:03
What is his middle name?
Unknown Speaker 37:06
dipshit.
Unknown Speaker 37:09
Let me see how
Unknown Speaker 37:14
I feel like all the boomers now are like obsessed with how there's like a pedophile government. How are they letting like hey, this is like blatant. Like
Unknown Speaker 37:23
they like almost encouraged this. Like we're Oh, yeah. Do whatever you want Miss America. Yeah. Yeah, like, ah, Theodore Anthony Nugent's Anthony
Unknown Speaker 37:37
What a dumb ass. Ah, and or Anthony just marched off a cliff and do me a favor.
Unknown Speaker 37:48
Um, so that's all I had for like his song lyrics. I'm sure he probably has more that are very disturbing and incriminating.
Unknown Speaker 37:57
So I've actually seen Ted Nugent lie. Why? Not intentionally? My first concert was the band KISS who also has a fucking weird, weird song.
Unknown Speaker 38:12
We just watched Detroit Rock City last night. I love that movie. But yeah, well do kiss stuff, too. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 38:22
But a kid Ted Nugent opened up for kiss. And Theodore. Theodore. Yeah, I was probably and sixth or seventh grade. And my sister's a couple years younger than me. We're in
Unknown Speaker 38:35
the danger zone. Yeah. Sorry. Oh, okay. Oh, also.
Unknown Speaker 38:48
I mean, it's not much of a story. Like, basically, he was just like, fucking like, screaming into the microphone. Like going on rants about like, America shit. And my sister who's a couple years younger than me, like started crying. We had to like go out in the lobby, because it was like, fucking loud. And, like, I didn't like it. But my sister like really bothered her. And, yeah, we'd like waited until we I mean, you could still hear the screaming like out in the lobby. Yeah, he was. He's gone on some rant. I don't know what it was about. Maybe I can try to find out. Yeah, and I didn't get I didn't go
Unknown Speaker 39:27
I didn't look too much into his political stuff. We can maybe do that like another day, but he's very, like far right? Yeah. Radical, like, extreme kind of person. And he's also endorsed a couple of Republican course coerce people. I think pretty sure Greg Abbott. I can't like look it up again. But I was like,
Unknown Speaker 39:55
one of the boy hate the most in the state. Yeah, actually. I probably number one.
Unknown Speaker 40:02
Um, and so let's see. Let me continue with. Yeah. So kind of circling segwaying back to Pele. So he met her in Hawaii and stuff when he was doing when she was a child. Yeah. Okay. And he termed her parents. And the mom signed papers to make him her legal guardian.
Unknown Speaker 40:26
No fucking way. How old was she?
Unknown Speaker 40:29
17? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 40:32
no, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 40:36
And he said, I got the stamp of approval from other parents cuz they fought they figure better Ted Nugent than some drug infested pumpkin hair school. Versus fucking smirk when he does it to you. I'm just like, You disgusting piece of shit. Um, but also, he said their parents and they. So I'm under the nursing said, like this is happened with multiple girls maybe not like a legal paper signing documentation thing but a some kind of a. We won't call the money and I'll take your child. Yeah, yeah. I'm very disgusted with a lot of the laws that allow people to get around this shit.
Unknown Speaker 41:27
It's fucking awful. And then you know, there are some laws where like, your parents can sign off on you getting married, but like if your parents are these fucking weird radicals, like they're not logical either. So it's some weirdo like signing paperwork for you like, yeah, it's just wrong anyway,
Unknown Speaker 41:43
that you there was one girl when I was listening to the someplace underneath podcasts talking about all the underage marriage issues. They played this interview from one girl that her dad traded her for a pack of beer, because he's an alcoholic. So when she was like, 14
Unknown Speaker 42:07
that's Yeah, it's so fucked up.
Unknown Speaker 42:10
So let's start trying to make real changes in the world instead of looking at Wayfair Yeah, probably be a good idea. Um, for the
Unknown Speaker 42:18
last couple of years, we have tried to make it a little better buy them.
Unknown Speaker 42:24
Yeah. And Pele also said that he was always upcoming to the temptations of the road. And she said, quote, the women on the road are a game the kill. It's the thrill of the kill is to go out there and get a go out there. Pick one go after it. Get it. Snagit bag it and give it cab fare.
Unknown Speaker 42:52
Wait, what
Unknown Speaker 42:52
Ted said this or Pele? Pele, she was allowed to like be with other dudes. No, she
Unknown Speaker 42:59
was saying that about Theodore. When he was on the road, he was just like, I know that you're my mom, your legal parental guardian.
Unknown Speaker 43:08
I know you're my child bride, but
Unknown Speaker 43:11
there's so many other children out there
Unknown Speaker 43:15
Damn. So yeah, disgusting. All around. Um
Unknown Speaker 43:25
and it's interesting to me that she compared it to you like a hunting thing. Because there's also like, big controversies and stuff with him like in the hunting game and stuff like that when I don't have a lot of information about that stuff either.
Unknown Speaker 43:45
Landon cool.
Unknown Speaker 43:47
Because like, it seems like he does eat and repurpose, like some of the things he kills. But it also seems like you know, it's just a big trophy hunting board kind of thing for him.
Unknown Speaker 44:01
And better. How about his house looks like best pro shops. Yeah, he
Unknown Speaker 44:05
has fucking heads all over the fucking wall. Um, let's see. Do I have anything else on Ted Nugent?
Unknown Speaker 44:18
Oh, yeah. So
Unknown Speaker 44:21
he went broke in 1980. His net worth was negative. And it's funny to me because it he was kind of just sounding like he basically was just blaming it on a bunch of other people. Because he was like, it got mismanaged by by other people and stuff. But it's funny to me, because I'm sure he got like some management and stuff that helped them along the way. But he was talking about in another interview, he was like, Yeah, you know, I was like, on the road. I was like, doing all my own scheduling. I was doing all my own, like posters and stuff. So it's like, what is it Theodore? Yeah. Again, you know,
Unknown Speaker 45:02
summers cab fares
Unknown Speaker 45:05
fucking bankrupted them
Unknown Speaker 45:09
and all that ammunition he has to buy. Oh, and I did not look more into the show but oh my god, I really want to. So he made a little show called like a if I can't remember what it's called on some some hunting show, it's like a six, six series one hour video. Um man, I didn't write the name down for it. But there's also another reality show that he did. I guess he did multiples, but there was one that was called Surviving Nugent. And the clip I saw from it was just like him riding around. It was probably a horse, but I keep thinking it's a buffalo just because he likes to ride buffaloes on stage all the time. And he was shooting like a like low list celebrities. What's like paintball guns like hunting them.
Unknown Speaker 46:07
I clear Hillary Clinton.
Unknown Speaker 46:10
But like Tila Tequila was on there. And like,
Unknown Speaker 46:13
I don't know she has a fucked up backstory to do you know anything
Unknown Speaker 46:17
that she's did some like
Unknown Speaker 46:23
like, Nazis.
Unknown Speaker 46:26
So yeah, that's a whole nother person will have to get into your
Unknown Speaker 46:30
Yeah, you would think that that Theodore would like her since he's such a piece of shit.
Unknown Speaker 46:37
Um, and oh, another reason why I really want to watch that show is he had an accident with Chainsaw
Unknown Speaker 46:45
Do you know what happened? Like?
Unknown Speaker 46:48
I think he hurt his leg. But um, I don't know like the scenario and stuff. But yeah, sorry. I didn't have time to go back and like research. Oh, don't worry. Oh, and let's see. Oh, I and he also became a deputy sheriff.
Unknown Speaker 47:11
Of course they did make perfect sense. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 47:14
new town or whatever the fuck by they call it over there. And he said, they say this job for the Rock and Roll cop.
Unknown Speaker 47:23
Shut up.
Unknown Speaker 47:25
Shut up. He's talking about how like people, everyone calls them when there's a problem.
Unknown Speaker 47:32
Child for the rock and roll is
Unknown Speaker 47:35
possible to roll my eyes feels uncomfortable.
Unknown Speaker 47:41
And just there's also a song that a band called Goldfinger traded called the fuck Ted Nugent FTN. So if you want to check that out,
Unknown Speaker 47:52
it's good. I enjoyed it. Yeah, it's pretty good.
Unknown Speaker 47:56
And yeah, I think that's all I have written out. If I do wind up getting more notes on some of those like other more specifically. I guess I can also just mention, I guess I kind of mentioned it throughout. But yeah, he rides buffaloes on stage, which is crazy to me, because that's a loud environment with a lot of people in like, one day. Yeah, like it's gonna fucking trample some people. I don't know. Maybe I don't know enough about buffalo. But I'm gonna read some quotes. I'll tell you this right now. If Brock Obama becomes the president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year. We need to ride into the field and chop their heads off in November. Any questions?
Unknown Speaker 48:54
No fucking way. January 6.
Unknown Speaker 48:59
I have no idea. Maybe we'll be able to like zoom in and like
Unknown Speaker 49:03
Yeah. Bi.
Unknown Speaker 49:07
Um, I could see that though.
Unknown Speaker 49:11
I don't think they're capable of either of those thoughts. You learn me asshole. They're only interested in three things. The best place to eat, having snacks and how quickly they can run away much like the French. He said. When Sorry, I shouldn't maybe I should have said this part first. When a British journalist asked him whether or not deer were his friends
Unknown Speaker 49:45
called him a liar.
Unknown Speaker 49:48
And also
Unknown Speaker 49:52
when talking about hunting,
Unknown Speaker 49:54
I get a full predator spiritual rejection from hunting law Ian's coons house cats escaped champ house carrots
Unknown Speaker 50:03
I'm gonna fight this motherfucker.
Unknown Speaker 50:07
Escaped chimps small children scared women in everything else that can be chased and or Yes.
Unknown Speaker 50:19
How is it that you didn't just make that up? That's real.
Unknown Speaker 50:24
I love I'll make I'll try to find like the exact interview make
Unknown Speaker 50:30
my mind blown. You study 100 children?
Unknown Speaker 50:36
Well, I mean, in that fucking show, he hunted people with paintball guns. So maybe he's just like, in that context, he was probably talking about fucking him. Yeah. So
Unknown Speaker 50:51
um
Unknown Speaker 50:55
yeah, they love me in Japan. They're still assholes. These people they don't know what life is. Oh, have a following. They need me. They don't like me. They need me. Foreigners are assholes. Foreigners are scum. I don't want them. I don't want him in this country. I don't want him selling me doughnuts. pumping my gas. I don't want him downwind of my life. Okay, so anyway, and I'm dead serious.
Unknown Speaker 51:31
But you want them to be your fans and another country because then you're gonna say all this shit. Okay, sure.
Unknown Speaker 51:37
These a piece of shit. Um,
Unknown Speaker 51:41
and, okay, so this one's a little rough. I'm going. I've already well, yeah, okay, these are all really rough.
Unknown Speaker 51:53
Maybe we should put like a robot voice being like trigger warning at the beginning of all of this.
Unknown Speaker 52:00
Um, so I'm going to replace up with our particular word. He uses a lot less quote with the word bunny, just because it's nicer. I use the word bunny a lot because I hang out with a lot of bunnies. And they use the word bunny. And I tend to use words that communicate. But I don't understand what that last sentence part means. I use tend to use words that communicate but
Unknown Speaker 52:33
are stuck in shit,
Unknown Speaker 52:35
dude. Um, I mean, let's see just a few more quotes. I feel like I'm just like bringing every side of town with these fucking Theodore quote.
Unknown Speaker 52:47
No, I'm having fun thinking. by Theodore Anthony Nugent. One day he'll accidentally chains off a leg or something. Thanks for waiting. It's fine.
Unknown Speaker 53:00
What's the feminist some fat pig that doesn't get it enough I was a misogynist around the clock. It could have been whiskey. It could have been drugs. But I was Wang dang addicted. I was addicted to girls addicted it was hopeless it was beautiful it's not fucking beautiful it's fucking disgusting You nasty piece of
Unknown Speaker 53:34
my gosh, why are men allowed?
Unknown Speaker 53:37
Um, and these ones are short my ways the only way so again Fuck you. i You should not be the sheriff anywhere even if it's just a pretend little town
Unknown Speaker 53:51
definitely not um,
Unknown Speaker 53:53
and I thought this one was really funny. It's a one plus one equals two drugs and alcohol equal death next
Unknown Speaker 54:07
Okay, so
Unknown Speaker 54:10
feel free to you know anything you want to say about me those quotes. I know I roll through them kind of fast.
Unknown Speaker 54:16
I guess Ted Nugent. You just have to be another white man for him to like or respect you is what I'm going to
Unknown Speaker 54:29
be a very specific type of man.
Unknown Speaker 54:32
Okay. I don't even know.
Unknown Speaker 54:40
So yeah, that was Theodore Anthony Nugent. Well, the good news
Unknown Speaker 54:45
is he was born in 48. So he's pretty old now. Yeah. Time is on our side. Yeah, time
Unknown Speaker 54:54
letter size is also losing relevance. Yes, he's just
Unknown Speaker 55:01
i don't know i
Unknown Speaker 55:04
It's funny because I heard Cat Scratch Fever play today. And I was just like I was like, dammit now I know you sing this song. And I mean not like I liked it. But yeah. Speaking to his relevancy it comes on in like, grocery stores and shit now so, um
Unknown Speaker 55:24
one thing I would say, if you have a relative or friend that likes to read nude Theodore Nugent, just make them really uncomfortable and be like, oh, yeah, he has like a couple child brides, you know? Well, yeah, that's what I always like to do is if somebody is like, somebody's talking about Michael Jackson, I'm like, Oh, okay. The the one that like bought wedding rings for her little boys. Yeah. And then if they try to defend that, then you know what type of person they are. And you, you know, you can read them
Unknown Speaker 55:56
on people like, because even if he? I don't know, I'm not meaning to like, sound like people are offending him. But because they're like, he didn't do anything. You don't know if he did anything. I'm like, fucking slept even even if you didn't do anything. sleeping in a bed with a child. And why are you doing weird shit? Yeah, you're accused of being like, Hey, can I just hang out with your son? Like, I'm a grown adult, man. I just have a lot of fun with your child that I relate to a lot somehow like, No,
Unknown Speaker 56:26
I mean, there are people just like, I just really liked thrillers so much. overpowers my, like sense of morals. You're so talented.
Unknown Speaker 56:38
Oh, I fucking hate it. And I'm like the Dane Cook thing with him. Like,
Unknown Speaker 56:51
I think I got a some screenshots that I wanted to share.
Unknown Speaker 56:55
Yeah, that's just like been going around a lot. And yeah, for
Unknown Speaker 56:59
the listeners that don't know, he he Dane Cook is 50 which I didn't realize he was that old. He's engaged to his 23 year old girlfriend that he's had for like five years, which the math is a little and they've
Unknown Speaker 57:13
been friends. We've been friends for nine which like, friends you were? No, you need friends the fucking ah. And it's funny. I remember. I showed you this Facebook conversation.
Unknown Speaker 57:31
Or if I took a screenshot then
Unknown Speaker 57:33
some of the some of the comments on like, something someone was talking about it was they were like, she was a teen in whatever state the legal age of consent is 16. And I was just like, if you have to use the words, like, but the legal age team to like, make a point like, you probably just shouldn't be making that point. And then her What am I assuming is her husband got on and left a couple comments that was just like, you're a fascist? Yeah. As far as Jamie got called a fascist. I can find the screenshots but I was like, alright, okay. Me. I guess. I guess if that's true, and yeah, that's fine. Sure. I mean, that's just what it takes to not have
Unknown Speaker 58:33
child brides. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, apparently, this isn't the first time that Dane Cook has done this. I actually saw another video pop up. Yeah. And he had a girlfriend that, like got together when she was 17. And he was like, 30 something at the time, but they had been friends for years before so. Well, so far. Dane Cook. He's really not funny.
Unknown Speaker 58:59
Yeah, that's kind of like my hope is like he's not as talented as these other people that we're talking about that people just seem to like to get a free pass to you. And so hopefully, he'll get fucking me as
Unknown Speaker 59:11
surgery now. He looks like shit. Ah
Unknown Speaker 59:18
sorry, you talk about this, how he looks like shit.
Unknown Speaker 59:20
Oh, no, he just like got a bunch of weird plastic surgery and just doesn't look normal anymore. Like an
Unknown Speaker 59:25
action figure. So, I remember watching one of his stand ups when I was in high school. I thought it was funny. And then as an adult, like years and years and years ago, I went back and watch that and I was like, This is not funny. Like, at all like, this is just very annoying. Like if anything, um, because he really doesn't make funny jokes. He stills jokes. And he's really just about like moving his body in like big ways on stage. Ah, and that's just kind of like what he does. And it's just he's not funny.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:07
I remember when that movie employee of the month came out with him. Yeah, I forgot she has done it. But yeah, even back then I was like, this isn't very good. And that was probably like, pre 2010. I mean,
Unknown Speaker 1:00:25
saw that movie, but yeah, I don't remember it being
Unknown Speaker 1:00:28
spent on the way out for a while. Yeah. It's like, oh, I guess lava child bride to get relevant again.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:33
Like, I know, he's all engaged now. It's and Amy Schumer is married, but I feel like him and Amy Schumer should just like, go live on an island together and just take Theodore with them, I guess. Oh, another
Unknown Speaker 1:00:50
funny thing that I saw with Dane Cook this girl had been like watching the fiance's Instagram stories to just try to see if there's anything weird with Dane Cook and
Unknown Speaker 1:01:01
the found out like his fiance was watching his face.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:06
The girl that was making the video was watching his fiance's stuff to try to get more like stuff on Dane Cook. Yeah. And the fiancee has like there was a big container with soup and then she was like making herself a bowl of soup.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:20
I don't know why I looked at you like a container
Unknown Speaker 1:01:26
laughing was basically like that's a lot of soup. And it was like a normal portion. Oh, no.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:33
Sue What a day.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:36
Yeah. That poor girl. She were here for you. She'll
Unknown Speaker 1:01:42
see the light. Yeah, we're I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:01:46
no no shade on her. It's these fucking ruing her when she was young. The other
Unknown Speaker 1:01:54
way. Yeah, you can come live with
Unknown Speaker 1:01:56
soup. Cook and have fun, my friend right now you can have some of that. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:03
So fat heads. You know? make good choices.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:11
Don't do weird shit like that. Or else we
Unknown Speaker 1:02:13
will? Yeah, we'll be talking about you will be like, Look at this cringy bitch.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:18
You the buck out. I'm tired of people sliding for shitty, disgusting shit. Like, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:02:25
I'm happy that we can bring awareness to those people and
Unknown Speaker 1:02:29
yeah, and say fuck them even harder.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:33
Yeah, I mean, it's not like we have like, a million people that listen, but I'm like, even if like 10 people hear it? I'm like, good. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:43
And like, I don't know why hope Theodore doesn't get into like, any kind of Hall of Fame. Or like he might be cuz like on VHS one behind the music just everyone's like, he's so talented. And I think some like museum thing was brought up but if that isn't like a museum or Hall of Fame anywhere, I just want to like go and just like chewed on it. Yeah, shit on it. I mean, I'm good at that.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:13
Um, or just, you know, make a sticker that just says like, This guy's a pedophile and just like, fucking stick it on their Michael Jackson stuff. Stick it on there. Yeah. Like,
Unknown Speaker 1:03:24
it annoys me because like,
Unknown Speaker 1:03:27
that part of them is gonna like live on an infamy. But this shit. Like, it's just gonna just keep getting going under the rug. And I mean, I know people like talk about it and stuff. But like backlash I would say backlash that like all the Michael Jackson stuff got it's like, what the fuck is going to stick up for these kids? Like, it's a really sad,
Unknown Speaker 1:03:51
and I'm glad we're in a time where more people are bringing up stuff like that. And like, Oh, hey, maybe you weren't alive when the shit happened. But look at this, like, don't listen to their shit. You know, they're a bad person. So yeah. They're I feel like there are a few things, if any, that are excused by like, it was a different time. Think of one Yeah, like, I mean, I
Unknown Speaker 1:04:20
mean, you could say like, maybe when our life expectancy was like 2530 and we had like, no medicine, barely any kind of shelter and people had to their life was earlier kind of. I guess that's that's a different time. Yeah, but that's not like
Unknown Speaker 1:04:40
oh, are there some of you?
Unknown Speaker 1:04:41
sighs alive can be like, Oh, it was a different night. Um, yeah, I guess you could say it was a different time where shit flipped more. Yeah. Not where it's acceptable. It just
Unknown Speaker 1:04:55
where people weren't held accountable for their actions. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:01
All right, well, we love you guys and we're gonna wrap up. Oh, love you.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:08
Love you guys love the fat heads. Thanks for going on this Theodore journey with us. Yeah. There's any celebrity cringe you want us to cover.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:17
Now we'll definitely have more of our own. You're definitely taking requests. So let us know. Um, Booth Theodore any chance you get and Blair THE FUCK Ted Nugent song? Yes. All right. Have a good one. Yeah. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 1:05:34
y'all don't do drugs. sound bad? Me me me. Yeah, I'm first
Unknown Speaker 1:05:52
in real we're violin Come on.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:00
Is it dime piece?
Unknown Speaker 1:06:03
My mom's a dime piece. What