Friend of the podcast, Chris, is back for another episode! So put on your clown noses, get out your diarrhea, and clean up your fucking lunch mess!
Friend of the podcast, Chris, is back for another episode! So put on your clown noses, get out your diarrhea, and clean up your fucking lunch mess!
The gang dives into some pants shitting and pant shitting adjacent stories, talk about some "hot takes" on food, chat about movies, and more! Learn about Chris's lunch mess!
You can find Chris's music here: PLUSH ORGANICS on soundcloud
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
The socials: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Unknown Speaker 0:00
So yeah those two trucks and so I guess he just thought diesel meant bigger. Like it's a diesel poop
Unknown Speaker 0:07
diesel dump has a pretty good ring. Yeah, pretty good. We're recording now by the way
Unknown Speaker 0:14
Oh, like we knew that but we have our guest again.
Great to be back. Hey, thank you for having me back
Unknown Speaker 0:42
in the same day. Joe so we back that up can you please use that voice throughout because I love
Unknown Speaker 0:57
your episode, no one will get tired of it. Well, I
Unknown Speaker 1:00
have a bone to pick with. Clown voice man.
Unknown Speaker 1:04
Very pleasant podcast. Now this one is going to be adversarial. Here
Unknown Speaker 1:10
we were talking about what we're gonna talk about on the podcast and I was like, Oh, I know. You have some shitting pants stories
Unknown Speaker 1:18
on the nervous laughter podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:20
Oh, yeah. Hello, everybody. I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:22
nervous laughter podcast, guys. Hey,
Unknown Speaker 1:26
continue. I'm sorry. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 1:29
So I was telling him like, oh, like, if I shit my pants, like, I can talk about on the podcast that makes me feel a little bit better. And he was like, when you shit your pants.
Unknown Speaker 1:40
So there's an inevitability? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:43
that's true. But yeah, I'm gonna shit my pants the other day and I'm blaming it on him. Because I haven't almost shitting my pants in a really long time until he says and then he said that and then like a couple days later, almost shit my pants.
Unknown Speaker 1:57
Damn. Well, I
Unknown Speaker 1:58
didn't I wasn't like trying to curse you. I wasn't trying to put a curse on you at all. You know?
Unknown Speaker 2:05
Sometimes it happens.
Unknown Speaker 2:06
I think it's been quite some time since I shit my pants so I can relate to you the other day? Oh, yeah. Did the rug the other day? Yeah, so I think I might work pants Yeah, maybe mentioned this on the other episode but I happened to be sleeping in the nude that night. And then woke up in the morning had to shoot the rug and then it just started shooting out the other end too. And I was like all right, this was just at that point is when I decided to close the door
Unknown Speaker 2:40
open door with
Unknown Speaker 2:43
Brandon was sleeping so I was like okay, so I went downstairs and that's where I did it but that's usually his kind of like preferred pooping place. And so I was like shit if he wakes up and then come straight down here he's just gonna see like my ass blown
Unknown Speaker 2:56
diarrhea middle of the night shitting
Unknown Speaker 2:59
both of those in the morning Oh okay. Yeah this morning
Unknown Speaker 3:03
like hours before we were gonna get together
Unknown Speaker 3:06
we're gonna come over and record and I was like I think I can and Alyssa so sweet was like I'll make sure my bathrooms all ready for you to like secrets for you to come secret.
Unknown Speaker 3:18
She's gonna let her use my bathroom in my bedroom. So it was like more private.
Unknown Speaker 3:23
It's very very nice.
Unknown Speaker 3:25
I would have had your back too because one thing that I pride myself in being is I'm a ship shipper if it ship a ship chipper chipper. Yeah, what that is is when you use someone else's bathroom as a as a male taking you know more I'm tall too. So my piss streams carry a lot of weight. I happen to see a little bit of doodoo toilet bowl you piss it off for the other person chipper do that always
Unknown Speaker 3:55
need to cancel last time but yeah,
Unknown Speaker 3:58
sure the evidence for Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 4:00
thank you. But yeah, so that's why we cancelled last time.
Unknown Speaker 4:06
The RIA completely fine. I totally understand. Yeah, they had been there myself. Yeah, they listened to the last episode I was on a lot of shitty memories and
Unknown Speaker 4:18
it gets kind of scary sometimes.
Unknown Speaker 4:21
Does
Unknown Speaker 4:22
something that it's something that Bond's all human beings. Yeah, there are so few things in a very divided world that are all together and one of them shitting your pants.
Unknown Speaker 4:32
That's what this is brilliant. Yeah, the rug shitting your pants. Wherever is in like the vicinity of your butthole
Unknown Speaker 4:42
remember that animated?
Unknown Speaker 4:45
I hate saying Jeff but apparently supposed to say it that way.
Unknown Speaker 4:47
I thought it's GIF. It's Jeff. According to the Creator
Unknown Speaker 4:53
like boomers said
Unknown Speaker 4:56
apparently it's supposed to be Jeff and I always said gift and and fuck it. You know the good If Lady shitting a hot tub Did you ever see that this lady had a hot tub with a bunch of people and she like has like diarrhea shit. So you see, like, you see, like a brown cloud appear around her and everyone runs out
Unknown Speaker 5:17
I'm glad I don't like party a lot, because I feel like that would definitely happen to me. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 5:22
it's way better to be high in a hot tub than to be drunk in a hot tub though. So if you're gonna say that because like, a lot of the times I've like kind of gotten into squirts is like if I was drinking a lot.
Unknown Speaker 5:36
Or a lot of situations though, you know? Like, like, especially
Unknown Speaker 5:39
considering the sports. Yeah, screen.
Unknown Speaker 5:43
Like I feel like when I drink sometimes I get hot anyway and being in an actual hot environment. That's definitely a diary
Unknown Speaker 5:50
environment guts.
Unknown Speaker 5:53
Gut Heaton. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 5:54
was really drunk in a nightclub once I shit myself.
Unknown Speaker 5:57
Oh, no. on the dance floor. No. in
Unknown Speaker 5:59
the bathroom. Oh, yeah. I thought I was just taking a piss and then I got a lot of diarrhea squirted on. You go home after that. Yeah, my friends drove me home with the windows down. Yeah, and they made me lay in the backseat face down. And they were they were furious. They were furious because they wanted to stay until like two and it was like midnight. I got so drunk. I shit my pants.
Unknown Speaker 6:26
To me, Midnight is like 2am. And yeah, that's
Unknown Speaker 6:29
late anyway.
Unknown Speaker 6:31
Really? Yeah. shit my pants at a nightclub.
Unknown Speaker 6:35
One time I went to a friend's birthday party, and he wanted to go. Okay, so it was like, we're all gonna meet up at seven, and then just roll out shortly after. So I showed up at his apartment on time. Everyone else showed up like three hours late, which is like when I'm ready to go home. And they're just like, Yeah, we're gonna start pre gaming. And I was like, Fuck, you're just starting pre gaming. And so we did that. And then we went out. And we were in the Uber, everyone was checking Grindr. And I was like, I don't know anything about these apps. Because I'm a little baby. Yeah. And then we got to the first club and then I just got really nervous and I just like, threw up a bunch and I was like, I have to go.
Unknown Speaker 7:27
The worst is when you throw up at a bar or a nightclub and like the people that are working there. No, you did and they throw you out. Like that's the fucking worst.
Unknown Speaker 7:36
Yeah, I wasn't like drunk throwing up. I was just like, I'm nervous. Just winners. I called my husband and I was like, Can you come pick me up? If you like being out me social. And yeah, he came to my rescue luckily. And but I just felt bad. I felt like I was a downer for everyone else. Like, oh, this is like the homeschooled girl that doesn't do anything. I wasn't homeschooled.
Unknown Speaker 8:03
I'm just kind of a very friendless person.
Unknown Speaker 8:08
Until recently,
Unknown Speaker 8:09
no, your your friends. Yes, until recently. I'm your friend now. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 8:15
yeah. holding you hostage the tables?
Unknown Speaker 8:17
Right. I'm holding your friendship hostage.
Unknown Speaker 8:20
agree to this. Sorry. I'm okay with it.
Unknown Speaker 8:23
I don't know if we were recording when we talked about this. But I keep worrying that I'm holding Chris hostage. Yeah. And that occurred to me that I could have been holding Jamie home.
Unknown Speaker 8:32
Oh, you're giving me an opportunity to podcast I used to have my own podcast and it's it's sadly is no longer a thing. And so I've been wanting the podcast again. So I'm honored.
Unknown Speaker 8:42
I can't wait until you have another one.
Unknown Speaker 8:44
We decided we're gonna do a six hour podcast for this one. Yeah, I think that's yeah, I think people are gonna lose interest. I think they're gonna stick around for the whole stick for sure. Oh, yeah, for sure.
Unknown Speaker 8:55
I mean, no way anyone's gonna be like, This is not interesting.
Unknown Speaker 8:59
I you threw up at a bar without having even a drop of alcohol yet. i What happened? meeting some friends knows way more disgusting. I was meeting some friends at a bar. And I was waiting at the bar. I got there first. Okay. So all of a sudden I turn around, and I hear my friends and they're coming towards me. And one of my friends has two drinks in his hand. And I go, Oh, he bought me a drink. And I walked up and I took the cup out of his hand. And I started putting it to my lips. And everybody was going no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I took a drink and it was his fucking dip cup. It was his spit cup for his dip and I felt the MS. Soon as the slimy saliva texture go down my throat. I ran to the fucking bathroom and threw up immediately and I like tried to explain it to the guy that worked there and he was just like, you throw up, you're out. And he kicked me out.
Unknown Speaker 9:59
It's like you're a little Ah,
Unknown Speaker 10:00
yeah. Oh no I drink someone's dip coffee is like I don't know what that means get the fuck out.
Unknown Speaker 10:06
So I'm not trying to victim blame, but he didn't look at the color. Like how did that
Unknown Speaker 10:13
happen? It was clear. What time was it?
Unknown Speaker 10:15
I don't know what kind of dip you had or something but it was just like clear like spit like it looked at least I didn't I barely looked at it. I guess it might have been. Yeah might have been like a Yeah, that was like a vodka soda. I thought like I took it and fucking because it's in the exact same cup of obviously he's like it's gonna get an extra cup from
Unknown Speaker 10:36
Oh my gosh.
Unknown Speaker 10:38
Like I never had I never lived that down with my friends. Non stop made fun of me for that one like
Unknown Speaker 10:45
dip cope. I mean, I've definitely drank my like dad's dip before.
Unknown Speaker 10:51
How do you do that? Was he spin it into like a Pepsi can?
Unknown Speaker 10:54
Coke cans like that as ashtrays and like spitting? Spitting? Thank you did it.
Unknown Speaker 11:00
It wasn't like the combo.
Unknown Speaker 11:05
Combo. But I've learned to not drink other people's drinks since then. Yeah, they're I went through a time after I was able to start legally drinking that I would drink everyone else's drinks. You know, I just be like, oh, there's a drink on the table. I'm gonna drink that. And then I you know, inevitably get kicked out of a Chili's. But oh, man. Yeah, that's
Unknown Speaker 11:28
a backhoe infused vodka once. Ever heard of the restaurant downtown called Russian house? Yes. So they have they their specialty is vodka infusions. So they have like a wall of like, four rows of jars, and they're all infused with different things. And a lot of them are pretty normal, you know, like fruits and stuff like that. But I was asking the guy, the last time I ate there, I was like, What do you think the worst vodka and fusion to take a shot of would be? And he gave me two options. And I decided to do them both. Oh, God. So the first one was tobacco infused vodka and vodka by itself. By the way I can sucks like vodka sucks by itself. random choice. All right, fair enough.
Unknown Speaker 12:12
It's mine too, but I don't drink it by itself.
Unknown Speaker 12:14
I'm fine until I exhale after it and then it's like something about that. Fucking I don't know. My
Unknown Speaker 12:20
throat coming up.
Unknown Speaker 12:21
Yeah, but like I was, you know, I was with somebody and we were like, I wonder what the worst ones are, you know? So I did that one. And then the other one was called nuclear and that was infused with like, those chilies. Shown fucking sucked. Did you? Yeah, after that. No, but the person I was with. She went to the bathroom like, fucking like five different times. I think. It was an unspoken
Unknown Speaker 12:46
where you guys on Monday? I'd be so. Okay, I'd be so embarrassed. I'd be like
Unknown Speaker 12:51
you can just go home.
Unknown Speaker 12:54
I think you're a good person to poop your pants around though because you found a lot of
Unknown Speaker 13:00
little you make funny. Oh my god. We're gonna get you out of here. We'll get some hands. Okay, yeah, like my husband.
Unknown Speaker 13:05
You play some never shout never. For me, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 13:11
I'll say You stay here. I know that three blocks away. There's an h&m. I'm gonna go I'll buy you fucking jeans. Yeah, okay. Buy you fucking jeans and bring them back. We'll do the pants change take your current ones. Leave them in the garbage brand new.
Unknown Speaker 13:24
Okay, nice. My pants. I'm
Unknown Speaker 13:26
gonna try to do it around you.
Unknown Speaker 13:29
Apparently I bring it out in people. You might get your whiskey
Unknown Speaker 13:34
for some reason. I haven't heard the shit. My pants are empty.
Unknown Speaker 13:38
made me sit on the blanket. I mean, old and shitty. But if you Yeah, it's a brown couch. Oh, that's true. It'll be okay, you can sit on my couch. Okay, thank you welcome
Unknown Speaker 13:51
thank you shit is gonna be khaki color. That's been a fucking stain the couch. My
Unknown Speaker 13:55
shit is preppy a shit okay.
Unknown Speaker 13:58
It comes out khaki. So cool if you shit white one day.
Unknown Speaker 14:02
Wow. Go soup.
Unknown Speaker 14:04
How many nuts cauliflower fried. Eggs, cauliflower, rice and marshmallows.
Unknown Speaker 14:14
Oh, well speaking of food Yeah, let's say yeah, let's talk about some food stuff. Chris. Oh, yeah, we're gonna we're about to fucking gang up on Jamie so Hari are
Unknown Speaker 14:24
gonna gang up on you about something. Yeah. Okay, so
Unknown Speaker 14:27
mustard you had mentioned that
Unknown Speaker 14:30
your mustard on you know? I don't really like the grainy mustard.
Unknown Speaker 14:34
Go. Thank you. I'm not really I don't like the grind. I like the texture of it. And I think it's just fine. It's great.
Unknown Speaker 14:41
I'll eat yellow mustard on a hotdog
Unknown Speaker 14:44
or hamburger. But I will not anything else. Nope. Anything else?
Unknown Speaker 14:49
No. Oh, Mustard Chicken. I'll eat Mustard Chicken bratwurst but you make us
Unknown Speaker 14:55
kind of a hot dog. Dog.
Unknown Speaker 14:59
Oh a hot dog.
Unknown Speaker 15:00
This racing
Unknown Speaker 15:02
assholes. Worst is not by
Unknown Speaker 15:07
a meat that is shoved into a casing made of intestine or fair intestinal lining.
Unknown Speaker 15:15
I see what you mean about the mustard like I feel like it gets stuck in your teeth.
Unknown Speaker 15:20
Too much of a strong flavor for me. It's very strong, very bitter. It's very
Unknown Speaker 15:25
strong and I feel like it goes in my mouth. And what happens is the liquid element of it goes down my throat, but I'm left with the solid grains and I'm like it in your mouth. And the last thing I want to do when I have mustard in my mouth be crunch and imagine all right. I want to smooth texture. Yeah, so yeah, not to be fair to grainy mustard. That's I guess, I guess. Not a hot take but something I feel strongly about. Oh, and fucking graham crackers suck shit. I was gonna say that to love. Graham.
Unknown Speaker 15:58
It's an old people
Unknown Speaker 15:59
dessert. I feel like but I like it. I don't like it as a crutch. What kind of fucking pies do you eat then? That's
Unknown Speaker 16:07
fine with a graham cracker crust. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 16:10
that's like all the pies all the pies a lot of the pies.
Unknown Speaker 16:14
Oh, pies have Graham Parker crest. Putting yourself in
Unknown Speaker 16:17
a box. Pie box. Okay, what you need to do is break free of that and realize you can make you can make
Unknown Speaker 16:22
but I feel like a lot of pies that I've had are graham crackers. A lot of
Unknown Speaker 16:27
them are the bear can rely on it. I've already made good key lime pie ruined by graham crackers.
Unknown Speaker 16:32
What other kinds of crusty do
Unknown Speaker 16:34
like a human just do regular with out any kind of like cinnamon. And then I've made my own
Unknown Speaker 16:41
salted caramel pie one time with a with a pretzel crust.
Unknown Speaker 16:45
That's what Chris does. Okay, so he's wrong on that one. Oh, back to the mustard thing. Um, I have some friends from Utah. And they were like, oh, yeah, like everybody puts mustard on everything here.
Unknown Speaker 17:02
I didn't be a good Utah. Well, no, they
Unknown Speaker 17:05
said it wasn't they said like in the south like mustard is a big thing. I can kind of see.
Unknown Speaker 17:10
Mayonnaise is a bearer thing when mustard. Yeah, maybe that sounds European mayonnaise. Like when I lived in Mississippi. It was like I remember going to softball games when I was younger, and everyone would just squirt a shit ton of mayonnaise on their hotdog. Nothing else. Just a shit ton of mayonnaise.
Unknown Speaker 17:26
Yeah, that
Unknown Speaker 17:28
is I don't think mayonnaise is disgusting like a lot of people do but I think that's highly unnecessary what they're doing with that and from a textural standpoint I think that would be very nose in your mouth
Unknown Speaker 17:39
that way Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 17:40
did eat it a few times when I was younger because I'm like I'm a softball girl and I'm up so I decided to try to
Unknown Speaker 17:50
thing down I just want yeah
Unknown Speaker 17:54
and after a while I was like This
Unknown Speaker 17:56
is fucking disgusting. You know what else fucking mayonnaise despite it not being a cheese product it'll give you cheese throat if you're in a live they'll give you cheese throat Yeah, when you talk like they're gonna bubble level. Yeah, pretty
Unknown Speaker 18:09
dairy Right?
Unknown Speaker 18:11
Like yeah, yeah, and I'm sure everyone will know what cheese throat is because yeah, you did a good impression if you have
Unknown Speaker 18:20
it. You'll know yeah,
Unknown Speaker 18:24
like I can just I can feel it right now you suck
Unknown Speaker 18:27
down a grilled cheese and then afterwards you try to talk and you're like oh my throat
Unknown Speaker 18:38
so bad he is thrown
Unknown Speaker 18:40
but it's very short lived usually quick drink not as long as your
Unknown Speaker 18:45
yeah paying for it spam Yeah. For a while still Wow. And well
Unknown Speaker 18:51
I don't like paying throat
Unknown Speaker 18:52
no pink throat my my head
Unknown Speaker 18:55
I thought I was like a new way of saying sore throat throat band name two
Unknown Speaker 19:06
songs it'd be like nine gag and like I don't know Yeah, nine gag what's the website? I'm sorry?
Unknown Speaker 19:13
Yeah, no great
Unknown Speaker 19:15
to be able to remember to plug your music stuff actually you just should now because we forgot to on the last one. SoundCloud rapper.
Unknown Speaker 19:22
I am a SoundCloud rapper. Yeah, I just don't quite have the money for the face. tats. Yeah, I'm hoping to get there. All right. So if you want to support my music, I make music under the monikers Globa which is like very noisy synth pop songs. So like actually beats and structured stuff like that you can dance to it. And then I do an experimental kind of noise ambient weirdo project called Korean Jade. And glow has kind of been taken a nap but I have a few albums out and Korean Jade is
Unknown Speaker 19:53
I'm trying to make like I'm tired of
Unknown Speaker 19:56
doing like short little tapes. So I'm actually like hunkering down I'm probably for the next year and trying to work on an LP. And I'm going to try to get that put out on vinyl very soon. But you can check out my music on all streaming services. If you'd like to support me directly, you can go to bandcamp.com/plush Organics, which is a label that I run and you can give me your money if you want to. Oh, yeah, just listen to it on Spotify and they won't pay me shit. So
Unknown Speaker 20:22
yeah, yeah, just like a snow and once or free stickers.
Unknown Speaker 20:26
Free sticker use this. Okay, we're having fun. We're having like, no, conveniently after
Unknown Speaker 20:35
the pile, dock to the pile. That's fine.
Unknown Speaker 20:38
Please do What does LP stand for by the way? Long play? Long play. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 20:44
Little painter. I think. Yo, yo, painters.
Unknown Speaker 20:50
You know, it's a format we all strive for. We all want to get our music on little painters. Yeah, definitely.
Unknown Speaker 20:54
Jr. Label? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 20:57
I'm actually like, Finally, like recording music again. And I wasn't really feeling it for a while for the past few months. But I just got back into it. And it's feeling really good. And I got a new studio setup in my place. Yeah, feeling good. And then hopefully down the line. I come up with another podcast idea. But yes, it has to come to me. I can't force it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I know how that is. Then we can swap cast. Yeah, it'd be cool.
Unknown Speaker 21:24
For some reason, but yeah,
Unknown Speaker 21:26
I think it's because I put the wrong and fastest on the wrong syllable. And I said swap cast. Instead of swap cast. Cast. Yeah. And we just talked about swapped out. Avi on the last podcast I was on with you. So yeah, that word kind of has some connotations here for a while.
Unknown Speaker 21:42
Have you all heard about the fecal transplant thing? Yeah, I don't really know. I like to
Unknown Speaker 21:50
hear more details on it. So I don't really know. I think it's pooping your Yeah, you put
Unknown Speaker 21:55
somebody else's poop in your body. And it's like, you get their microbiome or whatever. And
Unknown Speaker 22:01
they put it in your pocket. Just so you know. Yeah. You don't have to eat it.
Unknown Speaker 22:06
You could take like the poop pills, but I could be mistaken. I
Unknown Speaker 22:11
could have stomach cancer. And I'm not doing that.
Unknown Speaker 22:13
I don't know. If he donated our poop to you and it would
Unknown Speaker 22:18
cure your cancer but somebody I know.
Unknown Speaker 22:21
cured your cancer. You wouldn't eat our poop.
Unknown Speaker 22:23
Someone know you. You would have to go into my doctor and tell him Hey, tell him this is something else. Just tell him it's a pill.
Unknown Speaker 22:32
Oh, we have to trick you into eating poop.
Unknown Speaker 22:35
This is a nice little probiotic. And this is this is going to help your gut.
Unknown Speaker 22:39
Well, poop trick Okay, we
Unknown Speaker 22:41
have to remember that if he's ever sick, we have to trick him into eating true prick
Unknown Speaker 22:44
Muni. And poop pills all you don't. But yeah, we need to talk about your stance on pickles. Oh, yeah. Jamie's Yeah. Vocals is kind of a rough one for me. You take care?
Unknown Speaker 22:56
Yeah, so I'm not a huge fan of pickles. You know, eat him on maybe a McDonald's burger. Or if I go to nukes? I'll get some of their little pickles from their little accessory bar, food accessory bar, whatever you call that.
Unknown Speaker 23:09
And doing like a bicycle with your hand. Yeah. Extended.
Unknown Speaker 23:13
Biking over to the nooks and picking up my pickles. Um, but yeah, apparently that's a problem for some people. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 23:24
But the ones you do like are the worst ones. Bread and butter the last one that's not
Unknown Speaker 23:30
the worst? Because like sour stuff.
Unknown Speaker 23:34
Oh, you don't like a warhead or like Sour Patch Kids.
Unknown Speaker 23:38
forehead and the Sour Patch Kid but I'm not gonna eat through a whole pack. Only like once one warhead a few Sour Patch Kids, but I'm not going to be like, Oh, give me
Unknown Speaker 23:48
those kids aren't even like sour there.
Unknown Speaker 23:52
Yeah, I don't think they're very sour sour
Unknown Speaker 23:53
for like two seconds. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 23:54
like only like sour gummy worms and stuff like that, because it's not sour in the sense of vinegar.
Unknown Speaker 24:03
Right away. I catch you with a bag of those around me. I'm getting all the red and blue ones. You can drink you can have you can eat the fucking green ones. I'm taking the red and blue. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 24:16
there's yellow ones too. I like the yellow ones. The green ones tastes like some kind of cleaner that's under your cabinet.
Unknown Speaker 24:24
Yeah, they do they do.
Unknown Speaker 24:26
A bit synthetic. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 24:30
But the rest are pretty good. The crayons are good.
Unknown Speaker 24:32
But most of the time with food honestly like if I don't like something like I see that as like something I need to overcome. I don't know why but like I don't like places and I don't like mushrooms. Want to cottage cheese. I'm gonna cut down heavily on my cheese throat in my life because I don't consume cottage cheese. Okay. I don't eat it. And I'll tell you what if I hadn't eaten it, I'm not putting fucking fruit. Like some people do. So good. Hey man I've seen people who work dip in and Duncan fucking slices of fucking mango and shit and it's a crime is a crime against humanity
Unknown Speaker 25:11
it's a healthy breakfast or snack
Unknown Speaker 25:14
No It tastes like I'm eating fermented come Yeah, I have hot takes on food but I truly don't think less of anyone that enjoys something I don't you know it's called being an individual he whatever you want to eat poop pills even if you don't have a problem or the second snack on and put a little bowl on your coffee table like they're almonds. Yeah. Oh, that's good. I
Unknown Speaker 25:50
actually like after after dinner poops.
Unknown Speaker 25:54
digestif?
Unknown Speaker 25:56
Yeah, are like, what are those pills that chicks have like that with the afterbirth. But they like the pills that puts
Unknown Speaker 26:04
into it. Yeah, that's
Unknown Speaker 26:05
good for you. Yeah, I don't know. Some people eat it right out right away,
Unknown Speaker 26:11
up in a pan. And they like I saw this one thing where a lady like fried it up and she like, served it. Like at a party for her friends. Like her friends knew about it. And then she was just like, I'm gonna try this thing. And I was, I don't know, I wouldn't have showed up like at all.
Unknown Speaker 26:28
I wouldn't want to eat someone else's placenta, but I will say I never want to have a child. But if I did, I would 100% be one of those like, I'm gonna eat my placenta, like Mother Nature in
Unknown Speaker 26:41
like a smoothie.
Unknown Speaker 26:42
Yeah, I would do that. There was a person who
Unknown Speaker 26:48
fucking can't remember the names or anything, but he was kind of crazy. And he makes that stuff into a smoothie for his siblings and mother to have. Um, so it was really dense. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 26:59
For them, oh, maybe
Unknown Speaker 27:01
it wasn't on last podcast.
Unknown Speaker 27:03
I think it was on um, some other podcasts I listened to
Unknown Speaker 27:07
for a while, but I didn't like the host. So I
Unknown Speaker 27:10
was like, fuck that guy. But yeah, that was very intense and gross. He was like, God wants me to put like your period stuff into this smoothie. So it's disgusting
Unknown Speaker 27:23
to me. And I'm surprised that it's disgusting to me because like if I'm with somebody and I go fucking down that
Unknown Speaker 27:36
shit I go down. I mean, you just go in the shower right about a red beard.
Unknown Speaker 27:41
I fucking do it. Yeah, I don't fucking give a shit.
Unknown Speaker 27:44
I thought you're even talking about Lincoln butts and Alex
Unknown Speaker 27:49
always go front back. Yeah, if you're looking to but you got to spend some time in the front so they can get theirs. Then you go back like the bike. Sometimes they like it sometimes it's more just for you. Yeah, like quick and bots that's fine. I do
Unknown Speaker 28:02
you avoid any kind of like cross contamination infections because if you went from the butt to the
Unknown Speaker 28:07
Yeah, yeah, you don't mix trap. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, you always go front to back.
Unknown Speaker 28:12
So back to front. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 28:14
it's 2022 is eat ask people. It's not. It feels good. Yeah, do it. It feels good. People have given it positive reviews. Just check Google sometimes it does have to be combined with something else going on. Yeah. Someone's not going to be like assholes stimulation direct. Biggest. Usually you got to combine it with something else so
Unknown Speaker 28:38
Yeah, eat ass.
Unknown Speaker 28:39
Don't eat shit.
Unknown Speaker 28:40
Yes, take names.
Unknown Speaker 28:44
loud and proud. I don't care I'm 34 What the fuck am I gonna do you get embarrassed?
Unknown Speaker 28:48
Here chew bubblegum and eat ass I'm all water bubble.
Unknown Speaker 28:53
Absolutely. I've always done it like by surprise when I do it.
Unknown Speaker 28:57
Oh no. To me I just instantly like oh no, that's a weird surprise.
Unknown Speaker 29:04
And that is always gone. Well, except for like one time so how did you get like a corn kernel or something? Or what? No, no, that's not what I meant. I meant the other person's reaction. Versus reaction to at one time was like completely stopped it ended it What the fuck are you doing? Disgusting. I'm not kissing you for the rest of the night bucket. We're done. Like flipped out
Unknown Speaker 29:24
on me. She flipped out on me for doing that. So I'm fortunate
Unknown Speaker 29:29
enough I mean, it's your own but it's not like Yeah, exactly.
Unknown Speaker 29:35
But respect to and I don't I don't need I don't need
Unknown Speaker 29:40
it to be all fresh out of the shower either. It's a bug. It's supposed to smell like a bite. It's you know, you're either into it or not. Giving Oh yeah, same with the front. If it's you're having a bad pissy day. I'm not going to tell you. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna suck it up.
Unknown Speaker 29:56
Right it's very gentlemanly. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 29:58
don't shame people if they're having a bad plus the day because you're probably having a bad ball day dude. Those disgusting fucking things after you played disc golf with your dipshit friends all day do you hate golf course every day on the way to work and I give them the finger every fucking day.
Unknown Speaker 30:18
Have you ever played though?
Unknown Speaker 30:19
Yeah, yeah, okay, and you
Unknown Speaker 30:21
hate it that much still. Yeah, it
Unknown Speaker 30:23
was a bad day in my life. I hated it. Well, maybe
Unknown Speaker 30:26
you're having a bad Disc Golf bunch of chasing a
Unknown Speaker 30:29
fucking Frisbee around idiots.
Unknown Speaker 30:32
I mean, I played Disc Golf a little bit with this guy that I was trying to date. That's fine
Unknown Speaker 30:39
that's different you're making a compromise. get somewhere with this guy. That's fine. Yeah, that's true.
Unknown Speaker 30:46
I did get somewhere with that guy. And then it was like Randolph is done. It's done. No, it wasn't Brandon. It was another guy and then was like no, that's
Unknown Speaker 30:54
not to pretend that you like it now. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 30:57
was like, dating you Are you kidding me? Now probably get some vitamin D Yeah. Just getting getting what I came for literally. Anyway, um, yeah, so fuck mustard. Not really on that train. That's fine. Not really.
Unknown Speaker 31:17
But just not all forms.
Unknown Speaker 31:19
Like if I order nukes I will unselect mustard from the chicken salad I'll be like do not add you cannot add
Unknown Speaker 31:29
synthesis while
Unknown Speaker 31:30
I was kind of mid that's what I thought too. It's like the sky Shetty. Shetty I just thought it was just fine.
Unknown Speaker 31:38
Well, like the Mississippi that was prime.
Unknown Speaker 31:42
That's where you had to like get dressed up. Yeah. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 31:46
Do the makeup. Yeah, that was that was the prime deal. Okay, getting dressed
Unknown Speaker 31:51
up doing the makeup for a fucking hoagie. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 31:56
I'm a hoagie for
Unknown Speaker 32:04
me stupid names for sandwiches like hoagie is such a dumb fucking name, first name. Last name
Unknown Speaker 32:12
or whatever.
Unknown Speaker 32:15
That's like an East Coast thing more things like that. Yeah, go to a ballparks grinder. Why? You will never had a ballpark Be frank you stupid son of a bitch I just heard a guy say that once and he had that accent I just thought it was hilarious cuz he wasn't saying it as a joke. He was like there's nothing like getting a game and you get to you got yourself a B and you got a ballpark be frank. And you're just sitting there and you're enjoying the game with your friends. In a ballpark be frank. Jesus.
Unknown Speaker 32:50
Funny kind of goals and goals.
Unknown Speaker 32:55
Like term, a phrase that I heard before. That made me like die laughing like, I was hanging out we're at his house. We're fucking stoned. We ate lunch and like we try to get through. When I get to the punchline, you're gonna think of an ad for laughing this hard. But it was so funny to me. We we fucking ate all this food and like made a mess. Right? And like we didn't clean? We just left
Unknown Speaker 33:29
at a restaurant.
Unknown Speaker 33:30
No at his house. Okay, his house is at his kitchen table. He lived with his parents. So they live with his dad at the time. We were in high school. And oh my god. So we get we can't we go somewhere and we come back and we notice it's all cleaned up. And then we start he starts kind of getting in an argument about something else with his dad. And his dad just casually says like, first thing I had to come home and clean up your lunch mess. Lunch mess like it was one word. And I fucking just died in front of him. It was funny because they're having like a real argument. I was like could not stop laughing and the guy was like, What are you laughing? I was like you said oh my god. So fucking party over here just a great, great work. Lunch man lunch mess. Like it is accurate. We didn't make the lunch. Thank you for cleaning it up. I'm sorry. We were pigs will be better.
Unknown Speaker 34:36
Okay, so this is one thing I wanted to ask you about. Like I know sometimes you have an aversion to like casseroles and things like that. But you grew up in the Midwest. Isn't that the home of the castle? Castle? Okay, yeah, we
Unknown Speaker 34:50
just didn't do a lot of casseroles in my family. And I'm actually not I'm not really opposed to them. I can I can fucking take down I got tater tot casserole. Oh, my shit. I just made it too. tater tot casserole like a month ago, I made a buffalo chicken tater salad on your store today. It was really good.
Unknown Speaker 35:07
Honestly, I could slam some buffalo chicken, tater tots stuff right now.
Unknown Speaker 35:13
You can give me buffalo poop pills. I'll find out even if I know what they are and put some buffalo sauce on there. Oh, how's it going?
Unknown Speaker 35:20
We went below fat can be our new merch just like different flavor poop pills. That's gonna be very in line with our podcast. cool
Unknown Speaker 35:27
ranch.
Unknown Speaker 35:29
Ranch to Reno blah.
Unknown Speaker 35:31
We got to say what the times do you have to have a flaming hot variant? Yes, everything's flaming hot. And I'm here for it. There's flaming hot Mountain Dew. I
Unknown Speaker 35:43
don't know if I want to try. I feel like if I was around 14 to 16 I would try it for
Unknown Speaker 35:49
sure if you guys ever invite me back. I'm going to try to get my hands on. If there's still some podcasts left on my fuck this up, that's for sure. Yeah, I might make a huge faux PA and you don't want me at your house anymore. Maybe I'll make a lunch mess and you take me out because I didn't clean it. You're forgiving
Unknown Speaker 36:06
pooping pants and bad pussy days. So I feel like you're safe person.
Unknown Speaker 36:10
Try to be I try to be a good guy. But I'm gonna get some of that Arby's vodka. And we can try curly fry. Fry or crinkle cut. Tastes like this was a thing. It's a thing and it's like I tried to get in line to get some but I couldn't Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 36:28
think it was like a very like limited runs specialty thing.
Unknown Speaker 36:32
Yeah, yeah, hopefully it sticks around because I'd like to try it and I think that'd be fun if we all tried. Yeah, yeah, I'd probably horrible.
Unknown Speaker 36:40
I'd probably be like the most pissy of us all was trying it but that's fine.
Unknown Speaker 36:45
It might be okay like Bloody Mary. Oh, yeah. By using the Bloody Mary curly fry Bloody Mary
Unknown Speaker 36:50
just gonna say Bloody Mary's are also pretty gross.
Unknown Speaker 36:54
Oh, lovely man. Yeah. If you want to put like a little fucking mini burger on a stick and put it in there. I think that's great, too.
Unknown Speaker 37:02
I went to a bloody festival like a month ago. That's and if you if you wanted a drink of water in that place, nowhere to be found. There was nowhere to get water. And I was just at some point after a couple of different kinds of Bloody Marys. I was like, Man, I'd really like to kind of cleanse my palate. No, I'm getting almost cheese throat from the Bloody Mary mix. Some of them are kind of thick, you know? And the closest thing you could get to water was
Unknown Speaker 37:33
urine. What's that?
Unknown Speaker 37:36
What's that other sparkling water big swig, swig sparkling water stand and we were like and you're gonna love this, Jamie. We went up to it. And we were like, Oh, thank God. I just want something other than a Bloody Mary to drink even though I'm having fun. I'm enjoying the Bloody Marys. But it's a lot. Yeah, I'm never like, Thank God you guys are here. I would love a sparkling water. I really love your like lime one. Do you have any of that? And they're like, we only got one flavor. Dill Pickle.
Unknown Speaker 38:01
Ah man. Tallboys
Unknown Speaker 38:03
dill pickles. I was literally drinking dill pickled sparkling water. Which are you ever losing my pockets? You heard me chug one of those one time. That was when the legendary Burke came out. That was a legendary bourbon came out of my mouth when I chugged a Tallboy that and that was like the only thing you could do to just to like fucking hydrate like a little bit. Like the only truck out there was like a lobster roll truck. lobster roll. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 38:29
I'm just thinking like Bloody Mary. And then the only thing you have to wash it down is fucking dill pickle flavored.
Unknown Speaker 38:35
I'm fucking going home.
Unknown Speaker 38:36
Yeah, no, no, I wouldn't expect to catch you dead at that thing.
Unknown Speaker 38:39
No, no, fuck that. No, I'm not going. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 38:42
but you know, I spoke with the Bloody Mary and a lot of Yeah, bucket dill pickle.
Unknown Speaker 38:45
I just, again,
Unknown Speaker 38:48
I just I don't like them. I think I just don't like sour stuff because I also I don't like salt and vinegar flavored stuff.
Unknown Speaker 38:54
I think those are a little intense personally. Yeah, it's all in vinegar. Vinegar chips are a little intense, but it is sometimes nice to crunch them up, put them on a sandwich and
Unknown Speaker 39:04
see the mix with things but just on the room. Oh, no. They're too salty for me. I'm not. I'm not a Sakis
Unknown Speaker 39:09
talkies are too salty for me, too. I love talkies. They're like so good. too intense for me.
Unknown Speaker 39:14
buches their chips are insanely fucking salty.
Unknown Speaker 39:19
I've never had
Unknown Speaker 39:20
their chips. Yeah, everyone told me I should have those shipped fuck beaver nuggets when I first moved to
Unknown Speaker 39:25
try them them in different try them once because I met someone a little bit in Texas before I did. And they're like you have to get beaver nuggets so I got them on my way.
Unknown Speaker 39:33
Corn if it was chewy, it was good. It's kind of stupid. I just taste like slapped maple maple syrup all over
Unknown Speaker 39:40
it. Yeah, I'm fucking not a big fan.
Unknown Speaker 39:44
But he says some good stuff. Like they have really good hot sauce and stuff. But yeah, like they're beaver nuggets. A lot of people people recommend them strong drinking.
Unknown Speaker 39:53
Good jerky. Yeah, their jerky is pretty good. So their chocolate covered pretzels are good.
Unknown Speaker 39:57
And their barbecue is good. Just for you. their their chips are just way too salty. I got the chips. I got some barbecue chips on a road trip one time and maybe it's because I only got a bag that had like, like literally like five chips in it. I got like a fucked up bag. So maybe they were like over flavored or something. But it was just like
Unknown Speaker 40:18
they have the homemade chips. I like those. Those because it was just like, I don't know
Unknown Speaker 40:25
when you eat Cool Ranch Doritos and you pull out that one the one dusted fucking chip you know?
Unknown Speaker 40:34
It just like got stuck on the line in the seasoning part for a while. Season 20
Unknown Speaker 40:38
If you don't eat it, you're winning. So you gotta eat that well. Yeah, everybody's gotta eat that one. Flaming Hot Cool Ranch are fucking awesome by the way. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 40:46
New ranch.
Unknown Speaker 40:47
It's new. They're having trouble keeping them in stock at gas stations. There's some fucking popular Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 40:51
like Taco Bell's want to start having a show that flavors
Unknown Speaker 40:54
they can you just have a cool red shell and they got rid of it. No cheese the worst Doritos. Taco though. Those are the default Doritos. Yeah, default
Unknown Speaker 41:05
Doritos. kinda lame. It is pretty good on
Unknown Speaker 41:07
a taco Yeah, that's what I always get to talk about bring but I would rather have that the core ranch
Unknown Speaker 41:12
Cool Ranch flaming hot Cool Ranch is my new favorite. I used to like the spicy sweet chili one that was pretty good. Purple Bag those are fucking great love those Yeah, I used to eat like an entire bag in a day and then have really bad diarrhea again, because it would be that but nothing else. That's why I would start eating chips and like back when I was playing like fucking Diablo to every goddamn like to like five in the fucking morning with sucking down Doritos and fit for stereotypical gamer in my younger years. Yeah, mountain. Dew got my pizza rules got to do with there's this cool. Like barcade in Des Moines, where I'm from called uptown. And like all of their like cocktails are like gamer theme. So they have like cocktails that are made with like Mountain Dew coverage. And they're actually really fun. Again, shots and stuff that have like Code Red in them. Yeah, it's really fun place to hang out.
Unknown Speaker 42:06
There was a place I went here that actually had. It was on Rainey street too. So I was surprised for those who don't know Rainey Street is filled with bars. But they have like a Portal themed cocktail. Oh, really? I was like
Unknown Speaker 42:18
shit. That's cool. It was like half blue half orange. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 42:22
Like anything what's in this cocktail? But I'll take it Yeah, because portals that because yeah,
Unknown Speaker 42:27
I'm I'm actually this is a sin a gaming sin. I didn't play Portal to play one isn't as good as one.
Unknown Speaker 42:35
Ah,
Unknown Speaker 42:36
I would say it's almost like better had has more stories. And like silliness and it's just a lot of fun. It's also to player optimally tool to players.
Unknown Speaker 42:47
I want to talk about video games on this podcast, but somebody
Unknown Speaker 42:50
in this room. know y'all didn't
Unknown Speaker 42:53
play shit.
Unknown Speaker 42:54
Y'all didn't let me finish my story. I had a traumatic thing that happened that wasn't really traumatic, but it made me feel like a fucking idiot. If you want to cut this, that's okay, because we don't usually talk
Unknown Speaker 43:08
to here just in case but
Unknown Speaker 43:10
video game related.
Unknown Speaker 43:11
Yeah. Okay. Well, I went to my friend's house and we smoked a lot. We usually don't talk about smoking stuff, since it's illegal, but But it's okay. I got a little silly in a legal state. And
Unknown Speaker 43:28
I'm, like, like, I
Unknown Speaker 43:30
was saying, I've had an in 64. And then I like didn't have anything. So we're playing Mario Kart and I don't remember what console it was on. And they were like, trying to explain to me how to play and I just didn't fucking know. And they were like, Okay, well, you can like use a controller like a steering wheel. Like we'll try it that way for you. And I didn't
Unknown Speaker 43:51
it must have been like maybe newer because it was actually had motion control
Unknown Speaker 43:56
board. Oh, yeah, it was like we we and yeah,
Unknown Speaker 44:03
anyway, I just want your team we control it was
Unknown Speaker 44:06
crashing into the wall and I felt like everybody was like, You're a fucking idiot. Like, I've never played in newer stuff. So like, I don't know how to do it.
Unknown Speaker 44:16
Like I really respect that's like really dead by day like runs a label that I've been a fan of forever. He's like, Well, I played Dead by Daylight. You should like play with me. I used to. Yeah, and I just I started like doing a tutorial I'm so bad at it and he keeps hitting me up like I'm gonna be on tonight and I just keep ghosting him because I'm no I'm gonna be bad and that's the kind of game where if you're bad you hold your team back. Yeah. If because one person is terrible at it. You can't like just be like you're not gonna like team based game so I just keep like, yeah, I just want to tell him like, Dude, I've been trying and I'm terrible at it. Terrible games like that. I pissed
Unknown Speaker 44:54
a friend off when I'm playing it. So like he used to stream and he kind of he kind of takes game seriously just to kind of have put it into perspective. When we were in high school, he had gotten this tabletop game called Hero escape. And it's kind of like Warhammer where it has a bunch of tabletops up where you set up
Unknown Speaker 45:10
and you have little pieces you move around. So you set it up,
Unknown Speaker 45:15
and then everyone was excited to play and then he was just like, I'm waiting for
Unknown Speaker 45:18
you guys to get serious. God I'd be out the door knowing
Unknown Speaker 45:24
any packed it up. I know, no one got to fucking play it. So I was playing by daylight with him. And it had been a while since I played and that was kind of treatment too. So I was like, Oh, it'll just be fun. I fucked up so much and he had
Unknown Speaker 45:39
not serious You're not serious. I can tell you not serious right now. Yeah, to try
Unknown Speaker 45:43
so hard to hold on your back. I could fucking care. It just takes us too seriously. And
Unknown Speaker 45:50
if I can tell you that I suck and like it's like affecting other people's fun. I'll just drop out. Oh, yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 45:54
think I dropped out a few matches after that. But he like asked me to play and I was like, Sure, I'll play with you. And then he was like,
Unknown Speaker 46:01
Why the fuck did you do that? I
Unknown Speaker 46:02
was like, I mean, I fucked up because I don't know what I'm doing. And he's like, it's okay. But like I am. I was jumping back in that game from like, a long time. So there was like new killers and stuff like that, that I didn't know of. So I just made names for everyone like I was I there was one guy I can't remember his name. I just called him like lowboy. So I had all these crazy names for people and people seem to enjoy that. But then they got tired after it after a while. They were like, What the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, I don't know. You asked me to
Unknown Speaker 46:35
make this thing happen.
Unknown Speaker 46:39
I'm trying to make fetch happen. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I'm just like, I don't know what I'm doing. And you invited me
Unknown Speaker 46:44
here, so I don't have any
Unknown Speaker 46:47
competitive games that I've ever been good at. When I really think about it, it's like I was good at I was good at Overwatch. I was about it. Yeah, Overwatch. I was good at Overwatch. I was a junk rat main. Nice thing to some people off as a junk rat mean? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 47:01
I was Azaria. Slash mercy mean I was good with Zarya. I love Zara. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 47:07
was good with her. Oh can love sorry. Yeah, yeah. Probably not the most popular character these days. But you know, it's fine.
Unknown Speaker 47:14
I can still fucking wreck face with her like crazy.
Unknown Speaker 47:17
I haven't played in forever because I thought they added too many characters and wasn't balanced. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 47:21
yeah. Well, Overwatch two betas out now. Yeah, if I was somebody playing that kind of playing with that a little bit with that Alyssa Overwatch too bad. We know how much
Unknown Speaker 47:34
I'm just like, I'm too stupid to know what all these fucking buttons
Unknown Speaker 47:39
tell you. The future. If we ever play video games together. Like no matter how poorly you're doing, I will never judge you. Thank you. Yeah, no. Fun and you can have fun and suck at something to true. Like we're gonna play drunk driving Mario Kart. Yeah, drunk driving Mario Kart game. That's fine, no matter what your skill level is? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 47:58
Yeah. And I play games with friends. I don't play games that much. And I really, I really don't care. Like I have friends that take games way too seriously. And I'm like, why don't you have a
Unknown Speaker 48:07
group of people that you play with to be good? And then have a group of people you play with to fuck around? Like, serious all the time, bro. You have your
Unknown Speaker 48:16
competitive friends and then your non competitive friends and those mixed in together are never good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I just like to dick around and have fun and just laugh at stupid shit.
Unknown Speaker 48:28
So hop on like Counter Strike Source and dick around. I still have that shit installed. People still play. Oh, why did you
Unknown Speaker 48:33
we should play okay. I haven't played it in a long time. But last time I went on by Katie was above one. Well above one.
Unknown Speaker 48:41
There you go. So I was like, Okay,
Unknown Speaker 48:43
I That basically means I killed I killed more people than I died. My car might Yeah, my kill death ratio. So I killed more people than I died. And I did. Yeah. I did.
Unknown Speaker 48:58
Yeah, that was fun. And then at one point I had, we had this very perfect situation in college where all of my roommates we all had PCs that could run it. We were all in different rooms on our PCs together. We were on Ventrilo talking. We all played left for dead and it was so much fun. Playing that with four people or three people that you know is just like,
Unknown Speaker 49:18
I never got to play left for dead because I'm gonna sound really lame, but I didn't really have any friends to play it
Unknown Speaker 49:23
was it sucks when you play with Windows. It sucks. Yeah, so I just I never played it. It's not a great business model for a game and then that's why I joined
Unknown Speaker 49:29
a clan too because I didn't have any but yeah, I played a little bit of left for bed too, I think and then whenever the new one came out on PC, I played that a little bit but everyone's like,
Unknown Speaker 49:42
Yes, I do. All right here we'll go ahead and do
Unknown Speaker 49:44
a little pause. We're doing a little call claw break.
Unknown Speaker 49:48
La Paz
Unknown Speaker 49:55
anyway, we're back from our restroom break.
Unknown Speaker 49:58
Fresh claws, fresh call. as well,
Unknown Speaker 50:01
I have no more claws.
Unknown Speaker 50:02
Do you want another class?
Unknown Speaker 50:03
I don't know if I should have three claws deep.
Unknown Speaker 50:07
Even a little bit doubtful. Don't do it. Yeah, that's
Unknown Speaker 50:11
a good life philosophy me.
Unknown Speaker 50:12
Oh, come on it. That's not how long
Unknown Speaker 50:18
a sound of an opening round because the Green Bay album Yeah. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 50:24
yeah, that's the one of the early ones right
Unknown Speaker 50:26
I think is their second one. It was smoothed out Slappy ours and then Kurt plunk So
Unknown Speaker 50:31
wouldn't it basket case where his basket case Dookie. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 50:34
Oh, sorry.
Unknown Speaker 50:37
I'm very dumb. So for all you
Unknown Speaker 50:40
young uns listening was good. That's more our age. There was a time when Green Day was good. Yeah, that time is not now. That was my first city Nimrod. Oh, fucking Nimrod rules. Like the word Nimrod like Colin McKinney Nimrod
Unknown Speaker 51:01
fucking lunch mess over there.
Unknown Speaker 51:04
To clean up your mess. You never? Oh, yeah, we should pretty cool. Nimrod was probably the last good one.
Unknown Speaker 51:14
Yeah, we couldn't bring him up back. Yeah, Nimrod. Dyngus. Or guesser? Dinkus. Denise
Unknown Speaker 51:22
is more popular with Steve brule because he said being us all the time. Dr. Steve brule
Unknown Speaker 51:27
Oh on Eric. Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 51:30
Okay. Yeah. Like a bunch of clips of Tim and Eric That's pretty much
Unknown Speaker 51:35
what the show is is just a bunch of so you actually don't really need to watch an episode. It is just chaos. It's made to be chaos. So I love that show. Yeah shows good.
Unknown Speaker 51:45
Remember from did you guys watch a Boy Meets World? Oh, well. Yeah. Yeah, that character Minkus, I think can they become meaningless the Dyngus or whatever? Yeah, dangus
Unknown Speaker 51:59
dangus is good. You can spice it up a little bit with a dongle customer on the dongle. Oh, no, they're one good.
Unknown Speaker 52:03
What does that mean?
Unknown Speaker 52:05
I'm like a dangus Nimrod.
Unknown Speaker 52:06
Oh, yeah. dongle? Yeah. It sounds parser for alien Dyngus. I don't know why. The overall so you left it in the boot.
Unknown Speaker 52:18
In the boot mate.
Unknown Speaker 52:21
I love Australian accents are funny I do when my sister was in a coma and she was coming out. She said that like everyone had an Australian accent. That's very weird. Weird, but that's kind of cool.
Unknown Speaker 52:34
You do and my god I almost did veggie boys. kick the bucket. Wound up in the boot. They're fed out the old root pouch. Yeah, Joey.
Unknown Speaker 52:56
Sorry. What's that? How's your phone out? Do you have something? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 52:59
I heard something. carboy number three was watching like gold rush or one of those like mining shows. And I was getting. Yeah, I was getting ready. I wasn't paying attention. And he was like, Did you hear what they just say? Like no. And some guy said that something was tighter than a devout nun.
Unknown Speaker 53:22
And I'm going to see as Ville with that one. That's a no no.
Unknown Speaker 53:31
Because like,
Unknown Speaker 53:32
I hope it happens for real and that guy gets movie kicks ass.
Unknown Speaker 53:41
We haven't released this episode yet, but we're just talking about the descent on an episode we just recorded with some other people.
Unknown Speaker 53:47
Oh, cool. So check that out. They don't have enough horror movies that prey on your claustrophobia, you know? Yeah, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 53:53
they came out with the cave. I didn't see BK
Unknown Speaker 53:55
while after the descent. I don't think it was as good it was more mainstream, which might sound kind of dumb but it seems like they cut out a bunch of kind of like good things that could have done
Unknown Speaker 54:07
underwater was that one bitch that I don't like Kristen Stewart I think oh yeah never heard of that but underwater is sure she did
Unknown Speaker 54:26
their underwater one I watched recently where they like scuba divers went into this like underwater house, but then the underwater house turned out to be haunted. And then they got stuck in there. And I was just like, Fuck scuba diving. Like I want to get my scuba diving license, but I'm not gonna like go more than 15 feet under the surface.
Unknown Speaker 54:49
The Abyss I think was kind of like that two movie, movie kind of socks. Like that was when he started going on About downwards, and then eventually he hit rock bottom with a movie. Awesome mad respect everybody that likes to ever
Unknown Speaker 55:11
have seen it when it came out my mind really would have been
Unknown Speaker 55:14
when it came out my sister in 3d glasses.
Unknown Speaker 55:19
I wish I would have
Unknown Speaker 55:20
Yeah, I didn't recycle him. I
Unknown Speaker 55:21
took them home. Dude, I'd
Unknown Speaker 55:23
always tried to do that. I always try to take them succeeded. For some reason. I was like when I left the theater, I was like someone's gonna see if I don't stick them in the bin on my way.
Unknown Speaker 55:32
recommended it wasn't like
Unknown Speaker 55:35
that afraid of rules? That I yeah, I get scared. All right.
Unknown Speaker 55:44
So I have another thing here. I know you're well I'll say fan and air quotes, but you're a fan of OJ is Twitter. I love O J Will Smith one
Unknown Speaker 56:11
do you really say? No, no. He did a thing about Chris
Unknown Speaker 56:15
Rock. Oh, man.
Unknown Speaker 56:18
Just gotta take on everything. He follows Twitter.
Unknown Speaker 56:20
He's probably like fuck slapping them fucking kill them.
Unknown Speaker 56:23
Yeah, fuck it. Okay, I'm on a
Unknown Speaker 56:25
roll up for my white Bronco Be on the lookout.
Unknown Speaker 56:31
So I like went through his Twitter feed a little bit and I
Unknown Speaker 56:37
A while back I
Unknown Speaker 56:37
had done this and I realized that some of the comments that people were leaving the comments they're all murdered
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screenshot the sound but I was like, I don't even know why I'm doing this because just like all of them are awesome. Okay, so
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how about this? I'll be OJ Simpson. Okay, and I'll do like a hot take. Oh, perfect. To me.
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Okay. Okay. Well, the first set
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is from the vaccine started about how we need to get the vaccine
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go y'all because vaccine shoot is wild right? Hey, you remember how good of a football player that's the only thing I should be known for See you later Twitter world about vaccines.
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For some reason I just think someone murdered two people and committed armed robbery be the best spokesperson spokes person for the vaccine I don't know
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what was the
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what did he burglarize he
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like committed an armed robbery to steal some like sports memorabilia or something is that what put
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him in prison because he got away with the murder but he did that.
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Eight or nine years for that but the murder everybody was like it's cool whenever I find
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Sorry, I'm just like grabbing my head like a football player
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and I was pretty damn
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good at it. It was famous and I played a sport I mean once a whole proctoring the
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ones that are just like killer take OJ
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there's a lot of those
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you have more Yes.
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This one guy named Bradley said I respect your opinion respect mine. I'm not getting their shot. My life don't use mask either. Same age as you hang in there. What? The only thing that was capitalized was paying
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Oh, that's kind of concerning. So I assume that's autocorrected and why is that?
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Oh yeah, that's a good point. A lot of people saying that. He needs his own football show or podcast a lot of people want
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to do sizing I have a feeling he's gonna pop up on like the Mask Singer.
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Oh my god you're I mean you're probably right to be honest. Yeah, he's
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gonna pop up on the Mask Singer
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he's gonna sing like smooth criminal and
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now he's gonna sing cuts like a knife I saw one he did like a video about the Chris Rock Will Smith thing or whatever and someone's like, oh, Jay would never let someone disrespect his wife. He doesn't approve of oh, oh yeah, his Twitter is gold. If if if you guys listening or not following OJ Simpson on Twitter, it's just it's a show. Sometimes he makes videos where he's like a little drunk to like that's the best. He makes videos where he's like at like a postgame party and like a bar. Who's like Oh no no. Are you losing his voice? I have a video of him doing that because I wasted in the video god dammit man truly living his best life
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I'm sure you saw it but there's that one was like this fucking trashy bitch and probably like Florida or something like Chase bag baby and he like has his arm around her is so fucking crazy
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Casey Anthony on the other arm
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is about to come out of my mouth right before he said
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her pop up and like Florida Bar like
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kings fear whenever I go to Disney
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Oh
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give a picture with her but like flipping off or something. Yeah, I'm figure something else kind of want to punch her in the face.
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I was gonna say I should punch her in the face but I don't want to mess up my Disney trips so that's true. We're gonna
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donate plasma and their name was Cassie Anthony. They have to state their name out loud before he's when they did I went That's unfortunate. was hilarious. Trying to get the babysitting gigs. Superstitious but it's like a little
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we're gonna have to pass pass them off to Zanny
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we can't have you looking after little Ainsley stupid fucking white girl name
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or they call him like, Hey, Lee with like, le AI GA
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is always a new way to spell it. And it's just like, don't do it. Yeah.
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Let's see. How would you spell your name and the QC modern way? I think mine would be like J A why me? I know you got a second silent j in the middle of it. Oh, yeah. J I JJ?
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Yeah, you can throw a fucking mie. Tommy.
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Jeremy, what about y'all
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che would be like a mute member of Insane Clown Posse. He just stands up there and doesn't rap. He doesn't have any voices like
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Bobby just turned them back.
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Silent Bob silent J Yeah, that would be good.
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I don't know. Why do you hate
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Kristen Stewart so much.
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She has no expression on
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yeah, there's some that I just
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maybe I haven't seen her acting range enough.
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I like people making fun of Galileo's acting range. Gal Godot don't know who the Wonder Woman Wonder Woman. Oh, haven't people make fun of her acting range? She she's in this fucking movie where they're on this stupid boat. Like it just came out. And she's apparently like in the clip I saw she's doing like a like she's promoting the cruise line or something. And she goes, they melt champagne to fill denial. Like so horrible. Enough champagne. Like it those are bad people make fun of her acting chops all the time. Like I think
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the smallest acting range might not like I'm any kind of professional by any means. That's why
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it's a podcast, talk shit about stuff. You're not qualified to talk shit. That's the whole point of it.
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What's this space rang Goslin? For him he's a beautiful driver. I have a very small or small spark a soft spot for him. But he does have a small kind of
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did you ever see that movie that he did? And
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it was like
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I'm probably going to super fuck this up because I don't remember that much about it. But he was like in Tokyo or something and he was like trying to like get redemption for something and drift.
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That was one of the cars going real fast.
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Yeah. Like the thing that he was, there was like an incest plotline or something.
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To drive. Like the same director like was everything drenched in purple and rainy? Yeah.
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I saw that in the theater. And I was like, What the fuck? I mean, it was pretty to look at but it was
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a weird movie and that movie. Doesn't that's kind of a big thing. Ryan Gosling movies. He's kind of like, delirious. I'm gonna kick your ass. Yeah, he's supposed to weird but yeah, he's just fine as an actor. There's a video off to show you guys after this. But it's called like, I think it's called Ryan Gosling's acting range thing is find like Funny or Die or something. But just like, Hi. Welcome to Ryan Gosling's acting rise, and then like Yeah, it's like zoom sounds like this tiny little pin. He's like, where I play 1920 gangsters. 1930s gangsters. 1940s. Gangsters. Like, all these eras. It's really good. Could be worse. gangster
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movies are always good. Yeah,
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they aren't good gangster movie.
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But watching somebody else do it.
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I want them to like remake it but I would like them to make a heist movie on par with heat.
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Wave. Interesting heat is the best heist movie in the world. It's an incredible fucking movie.
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It's got ALPA Chino and Robert De Niro and their fucking
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checks and where do they heist from? What do they heist?
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They rob a bank and it is like considered widely to be like the best bank robbery scene ever film. They all have a Yars and it turns into this huge gunfight on the street and it's so fucking awesome. That movie kicks ass. And Ted Levine in it and his voice is hilarious. So Pauly Shore. Yeah, there's this part where Ted squatted down looking at the crime scene and he's like man, bang bang. Shot him right over here is pretty great big fat person the Hills Have Eyes. Like the 2009 one. No, he's in it. He gets burned alive. And he's up there. Laughing
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Have you guys seen Um, oh, the flex it's called Henry's abrasca Unless
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podcasts on the left talks about all the time. It's like something cop like bio cop or something?
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Bio cop? Yeah, it's
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like the Robocop No, it's
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not Robocop. It's like, this cop it is. It's
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a short. It's a really short film, because it's supposed to be like a trailer for film. But it's just a short film.
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But the COP is like really fucked
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up on the outside, like in a lot of pain and just has this weird exterior issue. And he's just going along through the day. And he's the partners just like saying something and then looks over at him. And he's like, kill me. And he's just like, in pain the whole time. He
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makes me laugh and movies to hurt so bad. When the person walks right back and doesn't do it.
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And I showed my husband I was like, This is hilarious. And he was just like, like the chick when they're like, we're going to Disney World and she just Oh kid. Does that look like are you talking about your weirdo? And I was just like,
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I'm gonna pause it here.
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We're not going to continue because
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I hate that feeling when you stop a movie because the other person just hates it.
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Yeah, I'm like it's just a comedy horrors
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okay, you don't you can just think it's fucked up. Yeah. Oh, like
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a good horror comedy but I mean, if it sucks it really sucks. Yeah.
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Really fucking bad.
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Really bad. I love like one of my all time favorite horror comedy movies is definitely poultry guys. Night of the chicken dead. It's a trauma movie. No,
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that's where you got her favorite line. So
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good. It's really good. It's like it's better than Toxic Avenger in my opinion. And I love Toxic Avenger a lot too.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:20
I haven't seen those. I've seen things killing and handful of other Mike's like horror funny drama movie just
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got away with a lot of stuff that other movies didn't because they just didn't give a shit. Like in Toxic Avenger. There's these people driving and like their whole game that they play when they're driving is they try to hit as many pedestrians as possible with their car and they see this little kid it's like fucking 11 years old. Fucking hit the car off his bike. And then they back up and it should it shows him crashing his fucking head with the tires and blood and brains and chip. And they just go
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extra points we got it's like an uncut version of Breaking Bad Yeah, they're
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just like the trashiest movies ever like on purpose. Yeah, they're just great to watch. Yeah, poultry guys. Like I can't recommend it enough. It's every second of it is entertaining. Like it flies by
Unknown Speaker 1:09:12
there's one I need to find because a friend recommended it but it's I think it's a Japanese one. But it's like a girl that falls in love with like a toilet ghost. Toilet. Toilet seat one a long time ago. I really can't remember the name of it. Let's you have a nice. There was lakes, some kind of ghost in the toilets, like kept killing people going to the toilet and then it would like blow them off the toilet or something. I really need to find it again. And we'll watch it another
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toilet scene is in the movie street trash where the guy melts into a toilet. Oh, it's about this mysterious. It's about this mysterious bottle of liquor that this guy that owns a liquor store finds it's called Viper liquor and he finds it like in a crawlspace underneath and he just goes like I don't know what this is. pocket $1 A bottle right $1 A bottle. So like the homeless around the area and get a bottle of liquor for $1 bottle. The only problem is when you drink it, it makes you melt into neon colored goo. The first time the guy melts in the movie, he sits on the toilet and drinks it anyway. So fucking body melts into the toilet.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:20
It almost sounds like an episode. Dropped off penis keep away
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fight in it. Oh,
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wait, what do you mean chop off penis keep away.
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They cut off someone's penis. And they're playing keep away with it, like throwing it back and forth.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:35
What movie did you say
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it reminds you of because I love any kind of melty movies.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:40
It didn't remind me of any movies, questions, but like I was talking about just the toilet ghost movies? Yeah, we'll watch it sometimes I'll definitely find it. I'm sure it's not difficult to Google. I do have a little OJ Simpson thing that we're gonna circle back. Let's do it. So one time whenever I was in college, so I went to college right next to $1 tree because it was like a shitty Community College. And so I went there to get some, like lunch and a drink. And then I was checking out and the lady was like, Would you like to donate $1 to blah, blah, blah, whatever. And I was like, of course,
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he was like, okay, cool.
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So for donating $1, you can either have the little gift, you can choose between this pen with like a crazy, like fuzzy Afro thing, or a copy of OJ Simpson's book, if I did it.
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The market? Maybe that's
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why they put it on that giveaway. Like I always
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heard that it didn't come out or that it didn't come out or did come out. Then they took it off.
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Maybe that's why it wound up at Dollar. General.
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Why don't you burp away from the microphone? To be professional?
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Obviously, haven't you listen to this podcast?
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Yeah, but needless to say, I took the pen because at hindsight, I would have definitely taken the book, but at the time, I was like, I'll take the pin. I really wish I would have taken the book though. I really regret that.
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I've wanted to read that book. Since I found out it existed. Yeah, like I've wanted to read that book.
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i There
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is Oh, because it did because you did do it. Yeah.
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Yeah. If I did it.
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Yeah. So I don't know. Maybe we'll try to spend a copy of that book and read it sometime.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:36
If it did get taken off market. It's probably so it's like on eBay for some shit. Yeah, that's probably we also have a maybe there's a PDF.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:46
Actually, probably I can probably get that for free. Um, we also have a book. I would actually like to read it now. And I didn't throw it away. But it's one of Joel Olsteen books.
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Mother fucker. Yes.
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We have one I was going through like so me and carboy number ones books has gone through all of them as we were doing stuff and I was like, Who the fuck is this guy is like a religious book. thing. We have to fucking keep that book. What? Why did he want to keep it? Oh, just because it's fucking like a weird colty Like, I like one time. So whenever we went to your
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CrossFit competition, there was a booth there that was I'm like, What's, what's that
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a MLM like? That does all the smoothies in the shakes and lunch. Oh, Herbalife. Yes. Herbalife, they had an Herbalife booth there and so me and Carrie were like, Let's go there and see what they're gonna talk about. So we did in the wait, no, actually, we didn't. We kind of visited it and we just kind of went and sat down and then a guy came over with like a whole booklet for us and was like talking to us about Herbalife. So I kept the booklet, and there's no way I'm throwing that thing away. Oh, shit, we should read some of it to keep like everything like MLM or cult related.
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Have you heard of the Joel Osteen? Inspirational cube? No, it is a merchandise item that you can buy
Unknown Speaker 1:14:11
from him from him to get to happen. And you
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just like to play every time you press.
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He just he tells
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you something to inspire you. That's what it is. Right here on Amazon. So it's like $37 for that.
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I would rather never have $27 Again, and by that
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I'd rather get robbed $27
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Yeah, do somebody poor like cleaner on my face and then try to kill me with
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my grandparents. Like, I would go visit him like every once in a while. And as a kid, they live kind of far away. But they always had TBN on the Trinity broadcast network. And it was like shit like that, like televangelists and like, just fucking goddamn crooks. Wow
Unknown Speaker 1:15:02
How fucking awesome is it though whenever you see like an article about a rattlesnake bite they're like, I can talk to it
Unknown Speaker 1:15:14
actually looked at it the other day because we went to go see my sister in law and she lives in a small town and so like a couple of year yeah. Yeah, I mean,
Unknown Speaker 1:15:23
that's so shitty. Oh, I fucking love that shit.
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Yeah always picture like
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because you know sometimes it's hard to envision like a rattlesnake biting someone in the face but if you ever saw Kill Bill Volume to remember that one bites him in the face also I always pictured that like picture like whatever like Pastor is in the article just like and I can talk to bite him in the face like he's fucking Michael Madsen was the
Unknown Speaker 1:15:49
Whoa, I thought it was the one eyed chick, Ellie Yeah, he Yeah, yeah. She was Ellie driver and
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it bites him.
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She put it in his suitcase full of money and it bites him. Oh, okay. Ripped out.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:06
That's right, because she goes in the trailer.
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And then she rips her eyeball out. And then she freaks out. Yeah, Volume Two is good.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:14
I love it. But I always just watch Volume One like I've seen Volume Two
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is just so like Volume One is just every second of it is like over the top. Like there's very few like slow parts. And then where Volume Two exists? Where if you watch volume one and you give a fuck about the characters. You watch volume two. Or at the very least, would you like to see her Kill Bill? You watch volume two?
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What the movie is called.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:44
Yeah, I saw those in theaters. I loved volume one in the theater. Yeah, the crowd was going insane like in Volume One just at the end when like the upbeat music starts and she's like breakdancing with her Katana cutting all their fucking legs off and shit. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:59
Yeah, that was one of my favorite movies growing up. Yeah, like she's fucking kick ass. And I remember like all the TBS commercials like dad dad did.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:10
Oh, yeah. And a lot of the score was done by the Riza, too. That's why it sounded as the Reza did a lot of it. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:18
The reason was later in.
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I think it was a Tarantino movie, but it was one that took place in the past. And the Reza was in it. And he's got a giant Wu Tang tattoo right on his bicep, but they just didn't edit it out. Or anything like that. And that's always stuck out to me. It's very hard. It's like yeah, it's like a period piece. But there's that big ass Wu Tang tat there are like
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the technology not there. Yeah.
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So don't ruin my immersion. Yeah.
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And I remember to I got really excited because I found out the chicken. I can't remember her name, but she has the spinny spiky ball. Oh, go go go. Yeah, go go.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:01
She was so badass. She's
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fucking badass. But she played in
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my battlefield. What am I thinking? Battlefield there? No.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:15
There's a bunch of games based off of it now. Like the type bad not Battlefield, but it's like the zones
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I'm trying so hard. I
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gotta play the fuck out of these types of games. I don't know. I can't think of the name. I'm sure every
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scene it's gonna be wrong and I'm gonna leave it there. Not a Final Fantasy, but
Unknown Speaker 1:18:38
the um, hold on. Let me
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just I'm just gonna look it up because everyone's gonna like murder us with an axe Oh, better yell. Yay.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:04
Okay, so we just took a little pee break and we're back. Um, Battle Royale. Battle Royale. That's what I was trying to think of. Yeah. So yeah, she was in. Gogo, played in Battle Royale. And that's pretty badass.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:16
I'm like, Chiaki something. Yeah, I really don't remember her name's Chiaki something.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:21
I don't know anybody's name that plays movies. Natalie Portman, because I love her.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:29
Natalie Portman is a chef. We can all agree on that. Black Swan is fucking Master. Yeah. Hey, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:19:34
we were just talking about that. On the other on the last episode, but anyway, I have one final question that I would like to ask you before
Unknown Speaker 1:19:44
we wrap up. Oh, not nervous at all. All right. You really don't need to be.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:49
So I saw a bunch of tech talks talking about this. So I kind of have to ask you if it's factual, on tick tock, but hopefully I know you're talking about Yeah, my husband just laughed and was like
Unknown Speaker 1:20:00
That's dumb. No, but um, so, here's the thing on tick tock that's like it's a they're like girls, this is a secret about
Unknown Speaker 1:20:09
your boyfriend. Like, thing. Yeah. Okay. Um, so they talk about taking their net sec, basically, and then making kind of like a little bit of a cup out of it and filling it with water. It's not a thing.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:24
I remember when you asked Brandon,
Unknown Speaker 1:20:29
like, what color boys? FUCK are you talking about? And I'm like they said it on Tik Tok? I
Unknown Speaker 1:20:35
don't know. No, it's not a fucking thing. I don't know if people are doing it. Now. I'm 34 I've done a lot of things with my nut sack. But I haven't done that. Is it like
Unknown Speaker 1:20:45
possible to do that? Like, like, can you? Because I kind of imagine you can kind of stretch out your long balls. Do that.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:53
So you do have like a big gulp.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:55
I can I can stretch my nut sack out like this and stuff my whole penis into it. And then it looks like I don't have a dick or balls. I just have a tumor. Whoa, I'm sorry. I don't know if I wanted to, but they're not doctors. They don't touch the water when I take a shit.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:17
I'm not Yeah, okay with time. I mean, I would put in
Unknown Speaker 1:21:21
like money for plastic surgery. Just tuck my sack take a little off. So I have those perfect, perfect little compact balls. But then you ever see guys that have that perfect pouch of balls. And I just I don't my balls look like, like fucking oatmeal.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:38
I mean, if you can make a cup of doctor once
Unknown Speaker 1:21:41
because my balls were kind of like, they look horrible. And so I just I actually went to the doctor wants to be like, Hey, can you check out if I have like testicular cancer? Like any signs of it? Because my balls are fucking weird, right?
Unknown Speaker 1:21:52
Hold on your pants. Your balls
Unknown Speaker 1:21:54
are fine. You just got long hanging balls. And I was like, Well, what can I do to fucking? Is there anything you can do? Like overtime to like, make it so you don't have a long sack anymore? And he's, uh, you know what he told me to do? Wear briefs. Don't fucking ask. Oh, that guy's a PhD.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:12
Told me to wear briefs.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:13
I was just like, Thanks, man.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:16
To get a new doctor. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:19
It'd be the last time I saw that gentleman. Yeah, weird balls. I got weird balls, that everybody knows it. That's cool. Still been nice enough to put them in their mouths from time to time. Man, I really appreciate that. I want to pat them on the back while they're doing it, but I might kill them. Thanks, bud.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:38
Sweetheart, team player. I feel like I would have really weird balls. If I was the guy. What
Unknown Speaker 1:22:45
do you mean? You think you would have weird balls? And what criteria do you think you possess? I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:53
It. Like I would just have really weird balls
Unknown Speaker 1:22:56
if I was a guy. You know, I've really bonded with the two of you over
Unknown Speaker 1:22:59
the podcasts that we've recorded together. And I just want you to know that I think both of you would have perfect pouch compact balls. I'm getting the compact balls by from both you. Yeah, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:23:11
I get a compact ball by permute you
Unknown Speaker 1:23:13
and you know what the worst part about having long balls is
Unknown Speaker 1:23:15
sometimes you get compact balls. Like sometimes it's like a little
Unknown Speaker 1:23:21
bit like maybe like it's if it's colder in the room or something and you're naked. You get that you get a taste of it, but it never last
Unknown Speaker 1:23:28
ever been able to smell
Unknown Speaker 1:23:30
I've never smacked a bit with the balls. I've never tea bagged. Anybody has ever given anybody the Arabian goggles. I've never done any of that. Have
Unknown Speaker 1:23:37
you ever been smacked with a dick? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:23:40
I've smacked someone with my dick. They wanted me to
Unknown Speaker 1:23:43
have been smacked with a big I didn't want it but it happened. I was like what the fuck?
Unknown Speaker 1:23:49
Yeah, I wanted someone wanted me to like at bat bat bat bat on your face for that when I was like, okay, it's fine. You don't have any limits as long as you give me a Pittsburgh platter or something like that. Like I'm fine. It's Bert platters where you lay underneath a glass table and someone takes
Unknown Speaker 1:24:05
a shit on it. Oh, oh, that's so bad. Yes. Similar to
Unknown Speaker 1:24:09
a Cleveland steamer. But that goes on the chest and then launches in the mouth.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:14
Yeah. Now Alabama Hot Pocket. China shitting in the vagina. Alabama Hot Pocket.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:22
Okay.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:23
Well, it makes sense. I mean,
Unknown Speaker 1:24:25
but Alabama, you know.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:29
There's the strawberry milkshake. That's where you come in somebody's mouth and punch him in the nose.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:35
I've heard of a New York cheesecake when you come in someone's eye socket. not been able to find that definition again. But I know. It existed as a New York cheesecake.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:46
My friend did one send me like coming in the eyes. Like theme porn. Like that was the I don't think I'm into that. Yeah, no, it looks like we're in sunglasses made a melt at the end of it and it's not good.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:58
I don't want to I just don't want to deal with that. I imagine it stings slightly.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:02
Yeah. I mean, I've indulged in pornography the same as anybody has. But I'm like when they're doing a lot of stuff with the calm when they're doing it and swishing it around, or when they spit it into someone else's mouth back and forth. It's like, swallow it. Spit it out. Get it all over you. That's it. That should be the three things like I don't like to come play. What is what do people get out of that?
Unknown Speaker 1:25:24
I understand. You're dying.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:27
I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't come. I'm ashamed of my come. It's messy. It's horrible. You come in the shower in the hot water touches it and it turns into glue.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:38
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:40
Have you ever like clogged a drain? Like if you do it enough times does it like Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:25:45
Does it build up? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I've had to, like when you're drained starts to get clogged. You know? Sometimes Drano doesn't do the trick. And so you have to like get like, take it apart and like pull things out of it. And yeah, it's just a big like ponytail of just hair and come
Unknown Speaker 1:26:03
see my hair. But I haven't seen like the come clods
Unknown Speaker 1:26:06
come in it.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:09
It's just the most convenient place to jerk off as a shower. No, that makes sense. Maintenance. Just like get one other way.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:15
jerk off.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:16
It's part of your self care.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:18
Yeah. I'm glad even though it's the end of the podcast we talked about just covered all the bodily fluids over the course.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:27
Blood. I mean, we talked about working in a plasma center. But
Unknown Speaker 1:26:30
yeah, I guess are off. Yeah. brought no I talked about going down on people on their period. Okay, you got we covered blood as well. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:38
Just hop in the round of
Unknown Speaker 1:26:40
death. Proudly. Okay, close this out.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:46
I think we're good. I think. I think we're good. You guys. Good.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:49
I feel very good about it. All right. And I'm once again very honored that you had me on thank you guys so much I love I'm honored to be a part of it.
Unknown Speaker 1:26:57
Would you mind giving a like, by
Unknown Speaker 1:27:01
correct I can do it and I'll teach you how to do it correctly. The correct way to do it is by now.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:09
By now. Hope you
Unknown Speaker 1:27:13
enjoyed the come talk. You want to try
Unknown Speaker 1:27:18
my now.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:19
Very good. Oh, thank you. And you doesn't always have to be happy. By the way. I just want you guys to know if you're trying to do cloud voice at home. If you're listening to this and you're like that's something I want to start doing. Well, here's what you do. And you don't always have to be like a you can always be like if someone's pissing you off. Hey, you can do cloud voice but stern cloud you don't always have to be happy cloud. Some clouds are sad. They can also be sad clown and hey, you know you can do whatever you want.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:45
I mean, John Wayne Gacy murdered some people not all clowns have to be happy. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:51
Right before right before those kids took their last breath. They heard Hey,
Unknown Speaker 1:27:59
try this night. This trick not all anti. You will have
Unknown Speaker 1:28:05
cops on Hey.
Unknown Speaker 1:28:09
If you want a true crime podcast, we'll do that too. Um, but yeah, it was fun by fat heads.
Unknown Speaker 1:28:16
Later get some stickers Buck faces.
Unknown Speaker 1:28:27
803 There is no bloopers today. Have a good day.