Jamie & Alyssa chat about some weird traditions from their high school, current household bug statuses, and some other random jabber. Alyssa wraps up with one of our favorite stories yet, laughter guaranteed!
Jamie & Alyssa chat about some weird high school traditions. Mississippi loves them a womanless beauty pageant! Are we ready for a mum party?!
We somehow jump to long and nails and wonder how women wipe their butts with them. Some brave YouTubers let us into their world. Jamie invents the new dance craze that's soon to sweep the nation...the butt wipe!
We talk about our households current bug statuses and we find out that Jamie is a brand advocate for tapeworms. She's killing it! Jamie also gives us a great life hack to consider...the coma playlist! That way you aren't bored when you're in a coma. Send your coma jams to nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
Alyssa puts out a call to listeners to pants their significant other. Its hilarious, trust me. She closes out the pod with the best personal cringe story ever told.
Catch ya later, Fat Heads!
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
The socials: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Hello everybody
Unknown Speaker 0:04
Sorry, I was thinking of a song and now like,
Unknown Speaker 0:07
well, you have to sing it since we don't have the rights to any of the songs Hamsterdance ! Oh hell yeah.
Unknown Speaker 0:19
everybody now here we go! Just pop your hands and stomp your feet. Come on Everybody
Unknown Speaker 0:42
That was like one of the first websites that I ever went to.
Unknown Speaker 0:46
Yeah, I remember I had like a bunch of different hamsters. And then like the I got, I remember I also got a birthday card.
Unknown Speaker 0:54
Not to brag.
Unknown Speaker 0:57
That reminds me, I got this card for you. And I forgot to bring it.
Unknown Speaker 1:03
Oh, that's a surprise for next time. quality content, right.
Unknown Speaker 1:09
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Nervous Laughter Podcast. We're your hosts, Alyssa and Jamie. So before we started, Jamie was like, hey, do you want some coffee? I haven't had any today. And I was like, Yeah, I mean, either, that would be great. And instead of making it like, instead of Fuck,
Unknown Speaker 1:36
yeah, we're like, we'll be sharp, and it'll really help us. But now we're both just very nervous. And
Unknown Speaker 1:45
so it'll be interesting. Yeah, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 1:48
I don't know if anybody else experiences that or if that's just like anxious people, but I don't know. Yeah, it's just like filling up your anxious tank. Oh, yeah. No, I have more energy to freak the fuck out about nothing.
Unknown Speaker 2:05
And I'm still sipping it as we speak. Like it's really good though.
Unknown Speaker 2:11
Russia just had a glass of creamer and stuff.
Unknown Speaker 2:14
Like a little dropper kassala. Does milk and sugar.
Unknown Speaker 2:19
That's what we'll do next time.
Unknown Speaker 2:22
Um, oh, yeah. So Alyssa, I want to ask you.
Unknown Speaker 2:27
Whenever you were in high school, did your school ever do any like cross dressing pageants? That would be and
Unknown Speaker 2:37
then I'll have another sip of coffee to really feel the show. Um, so the school I went to which will rename renamed be great. remain very brand new. remain nameless.
Unknown Speaker 2:56
Um, we used to have something called a winless beauty pageant, which was just a bunch of kids. Men oriented was that popular boys only? Oh, well, not only
Unknown Speaker 3:13
Oh, I can't remember the mix. But I do remember it being like a mix of like, mostly like football players and stuff like that. And there were some teachers mixed them to the bunch. Oh, but yeah, it was.
Unknown Speaker 3:27
It was so obviously women's beauty pageant. It was all male oriented.
Unknown Speaker 3:34
Dudes, and they just dress up like women, and they like would wear high heels. And of course they had to get most of them just these balloons to give themselves boobs.
Unknown Speaker 3:49
Even 40 year old Virgin and he's like, you know, when you feel a woman's breast, and it feels like a bag of sand.
Unknown Speaker 4:03
bag of sand.
Unknown Speaker 4:09
That really gets me
Unknown Speaker 4:12
Boise like yeah, balloons that's really realistic.
Unknown Speaker 4:19
Oh, and then what else would they do? Yeah, they would just
Unknown Speaker 4:24
they would line up like a pageant, and then they would do their little walk. And then as they do like their walk and their wave, like an announcer would like read out their list of stuff that they had written like what they wrote.
Unknown Speaker 4:39
Yeah, and of course, it was always like, just generic stuff. Like she likes talking on the phone.
Unknown Speaker 4:49
There's their profile as a girl. Yes. So it's like, basically like, what? teenage boys and girls are like
Unknown Speaker 4:59
dude
Unknown Speaker 5:00
We should see if we can find one of those on YouTube.
Unknown Speaker 5:04
So we can um yeah it also reminds me Have you ever seen that video of the parents that kiss the kids at school? No This was not at my school or anything but it was like a prank that they did I think on some seniors or something, but they blindfolded them and it was supposed to be like a kissing thing and they had their parents come in and kiss kids got their own can their children Yeah, it was fucking weird I'll have to find the voice from the mouth Yeah, like it was like French guessing if I remember correctly.
Unknown Speaker 5:40
It makes you author up right now.
Unknown Speaker 5:44
That happened with like,
Unknown Speaker 5:47
some porn stars or something that was like that was like a big scandal because we did that it was like a like a mystery fuck
Unknown Speaker 5:59
ended up being like a brother and sister that they put together just like a porn and Oh yeah, and I remember seeing an article about it and they ended up suing because it was it was like that it was like oh yeah, you're gonna be with like a mystery first. Now I see none and Oh, that's so gross. That's so gross. Let me see if I can just find this real quick just to see if I can find like where it was located.
Unknown Speaker 6:26
So if you Google it, it'll most likely come up with like incest.
Unknown Speaker 6:36
Oh, no, just tell me where the school is blindfolded a minute. It's a Minnesota High School Minnesota. Like oh it's okay let's have a casserole
Unknown Speaker 6:51
get some cash
Unknown Speaker 6:53
just for all the family in there and let them bake together. Cool Whip
Unknown Speaker 7:00
um, and speaking of just creepy shit like that in school related to the homeless beauty pageant I'm one one year I got recruited to help with that which like I don't know why I was because I was like a super tomboy kind of kind of girl like hey really quiet tomboy. You're gonna be the one to do they ship for some reason about makeup. Like yeah look at all this makeup on my face. Um, but yeah, so it was like me and a few other kids and like some of the women adult teachers and one of the male teachers was like getting ready and learn to and it was really weird because for some reason he decided to just like change his clothes like in front of everybody including all the students that were there under the age of 18
Unknown Speaker 7:56
and he was just like in his boxers and he basically I can't remember like what he said or did but it was something that was basically like hey, look at me everybody.
Unknown Speaker 8:05
The theme of this episode is adults who need to be in prison Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 8:10
Well it's always kind of weird when they have teachers that are like three years older Well, I guess it would have to be more than three but I don't know like five years older the students it's like cringy Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 8:21
Close them age and it's weird and he was like the teacher that he was like, a young young demand fairy fit kind of teacher and um and he was athletic and stuff and like all the all the lady teachers were swinging in over him like a lot and it was really it was really uncomfortable.
Unknown Speaker 8:45
I don't think there was like one teacher at my school that I would consider like a dilf but there weren't like
Unknown Speaker 8:53
there weren't like any young teachers I don't think
Unknown Speaker 8:57
I remember one teacher that we had he
Unknown Speaker 9:03
make me cringe thinking about it. But he would read these like silky button up shirts and there'd be kind of like unbuttoned
Unknown Speaker 9:11
but he's in prison now with the student Oh my god, like oh god it was Oh, do but night at the Roxbury look just really.
Unknown Speaker 9:26
Oh, man, I love that movie. You need to watch that serum is so good. Um
Unknown Speaker 9:33
I always remember like do touch
Unknown Speaker 9:36
and this is really bad that me my sister would do this but we used to whenever we would go to concerts and stuff just try to like sneak and grab people's butts. And they is mostly dudes and so and then they'd be looking around like we'll fuck did that and I regret doing that because also obviously don't touch people like that without their permission. I was young and dumb. All you have to do is be like it was a different time.
Unknown Speaker 10:03
It was mean, everybody was loving everybody now.
Unknown Speaker 10:08
Jamie grew up in the Woodstock era.
Unknown Speaker 10:12
But yeah, so that was kind of something that would happen in Mississippi schools. So was it like, was it around like homecoming? Or was it a certain time or like for an event, I think it was kind of usually around homecoming, but I mean, it was something to like, raise, I think it was to, like, raise money for the football team or something. Like, we would do these little scheduled things where it would be like a little event like that, or like some kind of karaoke thing. And everyone just pays $1 to get in. But everyone has $1 to get out of class. Smart. Did the boys do girl voices? Like, Hey,
Unknown Speaker 10:55
I think they did. Because I think they did do a question. portion. I don't remember it that well.
Unknown Speaker 11:03
Do like that. That one girl that was doing the beauty pageant, and they like, What's an important or what's the perfect date to you? And she's like, well,
Unknown Speaker 11:15
April because it's not too hot, but you just need a light jacket.
Unknown Speaker 11:21
And Miss Congeniality, or was that of those real life?
Unknown Speaker 11:26
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 11:29
I feel like it was like a teen pageant, but it could have been adult. I don't know. I'm not gonna lie. I've definitely answered some questions like,
Unknown Speaker 11:38
for sure Me too.
Unknown Speaker 11:40
Especially on the spot. Oh, God, if anybody just asks me a random question.
Unknown Speaker 11:48
Literally forget everything I know. Like, I don't know what my fucking hobbies are. I don't know what I like to watch on TV. My name? How old am I?
Unknown Speaker 11:58
Yeah, no idea.
Unknown Speaker 12:01
If I ever get lost, like, I'm just so well.
Unknown Speaker 12:06
I'm good you or was there any kind of like Texas? stuff? Oh, yeah, it was not. So we recently found out that moms are a Texas thing. I didn't know I just thought it was like a trashy Southern thing. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 12:26
Enough for Mr. Sam. But
Unknown Speaker 12:29
next time you go back, you should take them a mom. It'll blow their mind. They'll be like, what is this discovery?
Unknown Speaker 12:36
And then they'll start doing it there.
Unknown Speaker 12:39
Yeah, but those are always a big thing. And I remember around their homecoming things, I think so the girls would have the Big Mom. And then I think the guys would get like a
Unknown Speaker 12:54
I don't know if they got like a little boot near like a thing on their shirt, or if they
Unknown Speaker 12:59
had like a thing on their wrist. But I think maybe I'm mixing up the wrist thing with like a corsage girls dance. Yeah, I don't fucking know.
Unknown Speaker 13:10
But they're these huge moms. And like, some of them they couldn't even wear on their shirt properly, because they're so heavy. And you would hear girls walking down the hall and have cowbells and shit like, their moms.
Unknown Speaker 13:26
For those who don't know what moms are, oh, yeah, brief description. Apparently I'm not capable if
Unknown Speaker 13:33
it's just a southern thing. Y'all got that they're in New York, right?
Unknown Speaker 13:39
So a mom is a
Unknown Speaker 13:43
it's something that typically goes on your shirt, it's kind of like a little flower. And it's in your school colors. And then you have like ribbons and little danglies that go on, they're all in your school colors. And then sometimes there'll be like little footballs or like, you take stickers and and put like the name of your high school on there. And all the craft stores around here will be stocked up with the local schools colors, so you can just go get your shit and make a really ugly mom. And if you have a mom, I didn't have a mom like this. But if you have a mom that needs to live vicariously through you, then show like really help you with that. She'll get really invested. But let me guess she helped me with your book reports.
Unknown Speaker 14:33
mums only
Unknown Speaker 14:35
mums and mums. Yes, exactly. If that was a British thing, they'll get confusing. A mum for my mother. Yeah, it would be confusing. Um, so what Um, so do they do you put like if you're in a sport like you said that they have like footballs and something or if you're in a sport, do you put like your sport stuff on there, or? That's a good question. I don't remember
Unknown Speaker 15:00
Like I know they did it for the football homecoming. I don't know if other sports have homecomings. Obviously, I was not involved in any of that but but yeah, that would make sense if you're like I'm a softball girl then you're just why can't I stop doing weird impressions and people's voices they don't even everybody fans
Unknown Speaker 15:24
um
Unknown Speaker 15:27
yeah, I was reading one article because uh this one girl made this huge one and she said it like hurt her neck the next day when she's
Unknown Speaker 15:36
right yeah, I was like how why
Unknown Speaker 15:40
but do do people does anyone ever do like couples stuff with that for some reason I see couples I can I see that as like a cringe territory where people would be like definitely I put like his his name and my blood on
Unknown Speaker 15:56
Yeah, I feel like I remember seeing shit like that like number 32 has my heart Oh, but I don't know it's like the guys whatever do anything matching? Like I'll have to look it up. It's actually let me just see the Boy version of a mom is doing some on the spot research boys and lungs.
Unknown Speaker 16:21
Yeah, your
Unknown Speaker 16:23
boys.
Unknown Speaker 16:26
Boy version of Mom.
Unknown Speaker 16:30
Mom token. The first thing that popped up in the suggestion, male version of yummy mommy.
Unknown Speaker 16:38
How I feel like I should click on that. Okay, so the male counterpart to a mom is the garter, which is a smaller, less flashy version of the mom designed to fit around a man's arm. The meme is designed and ordered by the male date and the garter is designed and ordered by the female date to be later exchanged on the night before homecoming week. Why wait so they order it for themselves and then they exchange it
Unknown Speaker 17:13
Yeah, it sounds like they order each other shit and then give it to each other but I don't know because it seems like people go like all out and personalized with their moms. Maybe there's this for like a dance or something
Unknown Speaker 17:30
maybe the guys just don't know maybe they just give the bill the guy
Unknown Speaker 17:36
of how much it costs to make your mom
Unknown Speaker 17:39
say we have months it takes this tradition explained. Oh
Unknown Speaker 17:46
already
Unknown Speaker 17:51
so are we gonna make it for our date or make it for ourselves? Because this this thing that you make it for the other person? Remember that?
Unknown Speaker 18:01
Seems like not what I've seen so far because like a lot of the mums I've seen
Unknown Speaker 18:07
a teenage boy does not have like yeah, they were just like that's not what it would look like
Unknown Speaker 18:15
maybe it's one of those things that they're like supposed to do but the girl kind of just takes it over because you know like everything
Unknown Speaker 18:23
yeah
Unknown Speaker 18:25
yeah, this is in texas a mom is a large arrangement of ribbons bills, charms and a button sewn together and designed to be worn around a woman's neck
Unknown Speaker 18:38
What is this like a fucking cow like a pool? Like I can prize cattle
Unknown Speaker 18:43
and then there's a mom with like a Bulldogs head in the middle. I guess it's like their animal. Oh yeah. Cuz then it has like a dangling thing of little paws. So I guess this is fighting Bulldogs. Man I can only imagine if that was the thing in Mississippi there was a school that their mascot it was the Christian all boys school mascot was a rock a shell. Oh what a rock a shell. It's those um, those really annoying little like circle sticky things that like will get on your socks and your clothes and shit outside.
Unknown Speaker 19:21
Their fucking mask? I don't know. It's really don't
Unknown Speaker 19:26
even portray that. Well, they actually had a mascot contests. I found a picture.
Unknown Speaker 19:38
I think I've been to Texas to the other day, but uh, I didn't want to just like bring it up randomly between conversations.
Unknown Speaker 19:46
And be rude. mascot.
Unknown Speaker 19:54
Feels racist. I don't know why
Unknown Speaker 20:01
I can imagine like mums with like that I was like the centerpiece
Unknown Speaker 20:07
I'm actually making bikes for it. Oh yeah, we'll have to do like a whole nother segment on like weird fucking mascots and stuff. We were the Eagles my high school hey we were the Hawks oh yeah birds of prey
Unknown Speaker 20:25
Not to brag or anything but uh we had a Brett barnfield Oh, nice nice little statue little boy
Unknown Speaker 20:39
that burp I tried to force it on on purpose it felt like it fit the character I was going for it. Yes it did. Did
Unknown Speaker 20:48
oh and um, yes so speaking of all those things with mums and such girls be getting their nails done like crazy. Oh my god. Yeah, so long nails. I saw some really cool ones. I don't know why like
Unknown Speaker 21:04
I saw these really cool one like I have no minor imagine.
Unknown Speaker 21:09
Minor plane, but
Unknown Speaker 21:13
they were like Spirited Away nails. And they're really long and they had I can't remember her name but like the old lady. And it was like painted across three of the nails on the other hand, does she hero? Is that the girl's name? Oh yeah, the little girl.
Unknown Speaker 21:28
On the other hand, it was that so when you like hildur together like when across?
Unknown Speaker 21:34
Cool. Yeah, there's there's definitely some art
Unknown Speaker 21:39
that no artists do that I love and admire the, the skill and the time, but it goes into doing that stuff. But a
Unknown Speaker 21:49
man some of them are just
Unknown Speaker 21:52
uncalled for.
Unknown Speaker 21:55
I'll say not my style, I don't
Unknown Speaker 21:58
like seeing the ones that are all fucked up that people like, show their inspiration picture and then I like this is what I got. Like, like trash. That's what my nose look like.
Unknown Speaker 22:11
So, um, yeah, I've seen some that are like, they'll like, curl it kind of and I swear I saw one that was like, kind of like, curled and had like a bell hanging from him. Like it helps you.
Unknown Speaker 22:28
And I have to think that these people are just doing I'm probably not wearing that out too. Like, all the time.
Unknown Speaker 22:38
The extreme one, because I've also seen where people will like, they'll make like, I don't know, like a little guacamole bowl and like, put
Unknown Speaker 22:50
it on top.
Unknown Speaker 22:55
It's great. But um, some of the like, everyday nails I've seen are
Unknown Speaker 23:01
tiny, kind of terrifying. Like,
Unknown Speaker 23:04
they are all these ones. The art was fantastic, which I think maybe why I hate it.
Unknown Speaker 23:12
But it was like scorpions, and it looks so so real like and I know I sent you a picture of it, but it was just like, it looked like they just fucking like, peel the scorpion fan and roll their flat and then just like put it in this girl's nail and I was just like, oh my god, it's real. And then, like,
Unknown Speaker 23:30
your way, I was like, Oh my god, it's real. And then I was like, I'm done.
Unknown Speaker 23:37
That would scare the shit out of me. Every time I looked at my hand like I would forget.
Unknown Speaker 23:44
I freaked myself off to um,
Unknown Speaker 23:48
and I
Unknown Speaker 23:50
I like I never have long nails and cannot I mean I kept my nails decently clean, but I just can't. I don't I don't know how to maintain.
Unknown Speaker 24:01
Yeah, like, I put my nails pretty much all my life and I would say in the past like, I don't know, maybe six months I've finally like, not done it is bad and I have like an actual white part to my nail. But still, I'm like everything fucking gets under him. And I don't know how people function that way. Like, you know, throughout most of my time working I've like worked with the public. And I have seen some gross shit under people's nails. Like probably literally. Yes, I've seen I've definitely seen some brown. I've seen like, you know when people's nails get kind of like yellow like discolored I guess maybe from smoking.
Unknown Speaker 24:49
I've seen like an orange maybe kind of like a Cheeto stuff.
Unknown Speaker 24:54
Sheetal
Unknown Speaker 24:56
here's some Cheadle. Oh man, I learned that from
Unknown Speaker 25:00
summers? Oh, that's a real word. Yeah. That's what they call the Cheeto dust like it's on your fingers. It's called Cheeto Cheeto. Well, I've definitely seen that. Grow women's male from unwrapped. Sorry, continue. What else have you seen under under the nail?
Unknown Speaker 25:19
I mean, of course obvious dirt. But it got me thinking like, how are people wiping with these crazy nails?
Unknown Speaker 25:29
I'm reacting, you just can't.
Unknown Speaker 25:33
Close. I'm moving my head around and all these different directions doing like a helicopter.
Unknown Speaker 25:39
So I did a little bit of YouTube research to see how you wipe with nails. And a lot of people
Unknown Speaker 25:49
are for some reason offended. They're like, God, people are always asking me how I wipe my butt. I wait my butt just like you do. It's like you have these like three inch talons, like,
Unknown Speaker 26:03
out of your hands. Like how do you not get poop under there? Like, I get everything under my nails that are like a millimeter long. So most of the videos where girls just be like, Fuck you. I'm not gonna.
Unknown Speaker 26:17
But there are a couple girls that did, like demonstrate. So one of the girls like took a roll of toilet paper, I guess maybe she takes it off of the holder each time. And so she puts it down and then wraps it in her hand like pretty much looks like an oven mitt. And she like oh yeah, she makes it like long enough to where it covers the end of the nails. And then she takes it off. And she's like, see it's covering the nails. Now you can like press down and wipe. And
Unknown Speaker 26:53
it's a nail What if it like cuts through the pipe? She claims it does.
Unknown Speaker 26:59
Maybe I'm too rough. I mean, I'm not saying that like my toilet paper tears. But like, I mean I
Unknown Speaker 27:08
I tend to like break shit a lot. When I think I'm being gentle. Yeah, I don't know how you would like transfer it to. Well, she, she had it wrapped. And then she like took it off and like kept it formed and then like put it in her hand. So I went from like an oven mitt to be like a flat thing in her hand that alone I would fuck it up. It would come unraveled or whatever. Yeah, she's like, yeah, you just like press down, and it's really easy. And then I saw another girl that took the toilet paper. And kind of like, she made it a long piece and then like folded it over her nails. So she's like, using her nails too. It's not really clear.
Unknown Speaker 27:56
But yeah, it was, it was weird. And then I came across all these other things like there's this older lady that had a fake but
Unknown Speaker 28:06
took like chocolate frosting and like, smeared it in the butt crack and was like showing how to wipe I don't know why that was online. And then she took the fake butt and like put it on her butt and it's like showing different angles that you can wipe it. Isn't there only like
Unknown Speaker 28:24
two ways to approach it.
Unknown Speaker 28:27
I wish
Unknown Speaker 28:31
I'm reaching in front and originally.
Unknown Speaker 28:36
Like it's like a dance.
Unknown Speaker 28:45
Video.
Unknown Speaker 28:50
Oh, there was some other weird thing I was gonna tell you from my butt wipe discoveries. But
Unknown Speaker 28:59
no, I don't remember what it was. Was it related to nails? or? Yeah, it was something that one of the girls said that was funny. I should have written it down. Because I can't remember anything.
Unknown Speaker 29:12
Well, I'll probably remember it Oh, sorry. In the middle of one of your stories and be like, Oh yeah, I remember the boat wiping thing. Just chime in.
Unknown Speaker 29:21
chime in.
Unknown Speaker 29:23
So um
Unknown Speaker 29:27
Oh man. I'm so poor segue brought the scorpion thing up earlier. Okay, well, we're just gonna segue into insects again. Just for dang of nasty, vicious
Unknown Speaker 29:38
insects in our house. We've been having some insect problems. Yeah, we have a fuck ton of ants outside. And it's awful. Like they never seem to get my husband but they just like fucking flock to me.
Unknown Speaker 29:57
You taste better. Yes. And same with mosquitoes.
Unknown Speaker 30:00
I'm always just like eaten alive by mosquitoes and they never get him put a deck I know it's fucked up but I got into some ants checking the mail the other day wait a minute sorry What were you gonna think?
Unknown Speaker 30:16
Like were the ants checking the mail and I was like Why did you stop to ask that question of course that's not what was going on. Yeah I did a citizen's arrest because it's a federal offense to mess with other people's mail and then they bit my foot
Unknown Speaker 30:33
yeah so now that we're clear
Unknown Speaker 30:36
was it Karen Nance Yeah, they were so I got into them and then this is gross but like I don't know what I was thinking so they're in it just rained and there's a puddle of water so I was like Oh, I should like stick my foot in this puddle of water to like get the ants off and then I was like
Unknown Speaker 30:57
yeah, like okay cool now I have these like wounds that I just
Unknown Speaker 31:03
like good idea.
Unknown Speaker 31:06
And then I fuckin i don't know i don't really wear shoes because I work at home. And if I do I usually wear like sandals or something to run outside. So I don't know for the past couple days I've just like somehow managed to step into like three different piles. My foot is red and inflamed.
Unknown Speaker 31:29
It's not as bad today but yesterday it just like fucking burned and you know that I had to like Google pictures of it because Oh, I didn't know if I was gonna need an amputation or not so I had
Unknown Speaker 31:41
puddle water
Unknown Speaker 31:43
well, I told you I told George and he was like what? Why did you do that? He's not afraid of germs at all. Like that's like just go like wash off your foot fuck you're right
Unknown Speaker 32:04
just spit water across your living room I apologize Okay, it's just the water
Unknown Speaker 32:09
yesterday's or the other day what coffee over here it's still there cuz
Unknown Speaker 32:14
um, I just joined a zoom meeting for work and then Brandon Kent got Brandon came inside as he came inside the cat ran out so I would like just join the zoom meeting and then he was yelling at her so everyone's zoom heard it was only like two people though but it was like my boss he's like you fucking
Unknown Speaker 32:35
there it's funny cuz like I joined me here the door door open and girl and then it's just like oh my god I'm not being abused.
Unknown Speaker 32:48
And then I got up to like run cuz I freaked out want to help and then I knocked my coffee over and yeah, so it was a very messy minute
Unknown Speaker 32:58
but sorry back to your your insights you have more than ants, right?
Unknown Speaker 33:03
Yeah, we've we've had some wasp problems that we can't seem to get rid of.
Unknown Speaker 33:13
It hasn't been as bad this year. But like a couple summers ago, I got stung like two or three times.
Unknown Speaker 33:20
So just fucking make nests and anything. There was one time I went to pick up these pots. And as I like flip them over, I realized that it was full of yellow jacket.
Unknown Speaker 33:35
Ran and they followed me.
Unknown Speaker 33:38
Like Where did you did you like get inside in time or catch up? Yeah, a couple of
Unknown Speaker 33:44
they're fast. They have wings that are faster than my legs. Um, so are those just like outside or Are you guys having issues inside with stuff? No, thankfully we've never had inside wasps, but I witnessed you vacuum up a wasp inside.
Unknown Speaker 34:05
I've gotten very good at it.
Unknown Speaker 34:09
Yeah, we've we've also been having some wasp issues.
Unknown Speaker 34:13
There. There's a lovely Nast on our wall somewhere. Well, it's like by this window and we've been seeing them getting in and out. And yeah, so we tried to. We picked up some of the holes and we've been spraying them and I guess they've found some alternate routes to get into the house. Besides we blocked their exits. I mean, they're slowly dying off. It's been.
Unknown Speaker 34:36
I mean, it's been a lot better like Thursday and Friday. It was like a lot and I kind of like freaked out about it. Because I was like, What if I go to sleep and then
Unknown Speaker 34:50
little wasp lands on my mouth and then I like it gets in my mouth and then it stings me and then I close my mouth because I'm freaked out and then
Unknown Speaker 35:00
Like if I find out I'm allergic to wasps that way logical thing so yeah I slept with a face mask on
Unknown Speaker 35:13
you might catch Brandon's my allergy but it makes sense
Unknown Speaker 35:20
and I I just oh god I just like because it was it was just kind of stressing me out the whole day like thinking about it because usually if I see like I'm like a cockroach or something like and I don't take care of it and then like I go to bed that's all I can think about as I'm going to bed. And so yeah, put a face mask on and I also have these your covers that that's a good idea so it doesn't climb into your brain. Yeah, and cause more brain
Unknown Speaker 35:53
friendly
Unknown Speaker 35:56
um, we're gonna make a trilogy I know it's gonna be the third one. I don't know yet.
Unknown Speaker 36:08
But I think I need to use earplugs for that and sex I think those ear covers are meant for like if you're going out in the cold just like that so like tossing and turning while you sleep like they came off but I didn't get any wasp in my ears or in my mouth or anything.
Unknown Speaker 36:26
So that's good. Um,
Unknown Speaker 36:29
but yeah, so we've been battling those wasps all week and other than that we just had
Unknown Speaker 36:36
aerith our youngest cat She's got some she had a tapeworm luckily it was a one pill fix um but I think
Unknown Speaker 36:48
I think I was kind of annoying What are annoying Brandon with it a little bit cuz I just I just keep saying stuff like just a girl in here
Unknown Speaker 37:00
and all cuz like after I found out like I mean I know it sucks nutrients like it's not good but it's not like I'm from what I was reading it doesn't sound like it like it's like causing any kind of like pain or like anything like that and I was like okay, I know I'm gonna get her like a pill and next thing tomorrow morning and it's gonna be fine. And then like
Unknown Speaker 37:18
also like Kelly from the office so it was just like I hate this worm inside of me
Unknown Speaker 37:27
um yeah, so I had I had a fun time with those jokes but I also read I was reading a lot about tapeworms and I saw a lot to read about it because I feel like there's some things that I'm not quite understanding but I hate it because like it's gross but it's also just like really interesting.
Unknown Speaker 37:48
I don't have like
Unknown Speaker 37:51
I don't exactly have like a phobia of some insects Of course they freak me out like with a majority of people but um, I don't have a phobia like people have those phobias like the eggs that are all like perfectly Yeah, like but like they grossed me out but I can't help but look at it because I'm like wow, that's like such a perfectly formed shape and there's like 50 of them but oh my god they're all
Unknown Speaker 38:15
fucking scary shit
Unknown Speaker 38:17
but um, so yeah, now I'm reading about tapeworms and
Unknown Speaker 38:22
now I'm all like I my brain keeps like seeing a lot of stuff as like bobble eggs and like I'm dreaming about them
Unknown Speaker 38:31
and
Unknown Speaker 38:35
it's a it's a it's fun. That is fun. Well I recently wind down a tick tock rabbit hole about
Unknown Speaker 38:46
oh
Unknown Speaker 38:48
went down a wormhole where people were talking about doing parasite cleanses
Unknown Speaker 38:55
my eyes just got really big
Unknown Speaker 38:58
Yeah, you're like a cartoon where their eyes like pop out of their head.
Unknown Speaker 39:06
Okay, sorry.
Unknown Speaker 39:08
Yeah, all these people were talking about like different symptoms that could mean that you have parasites and of course it's like generic shit that's like craving sugar being tired and I was like holy shit. I will parasites.
Unknown Speaker 39:26
My problem since I've been five years
Unknown Speaker 39:29
parasites all the time. And they're talking about like yeah, like if you eat like fresh fruit or like sushi. I'm like, I eat those all the time. I am chock full of parasites.
Unknown Speaker 39:42
So people were taking those little like,
Unknown Speaker 39:48
takes tincture.
Unknown Speaker 39:55
Show
Unknown Speaker 40:11
Okay well if you
Unknown Speaker 40:23
all this coffee
Unknown Speaker 40:35
we're gonna bleed out by the end of the lesson
Unknown Speaker 40:38
yeah definitely going to
Unknown Speaker 40:41
So Amy was like I she
Unknown Speaker 40:52
oh my god I might have brain damage. Oh yeah our brains are definitely bleeding a lot right now. It'd be really depressing if like any year actually
Unknown Speaker 41:04
No you won't. I do actually have a playlist that I made and I'm working on as called playlists if I'm in a coma
Unknown Speaker 41:19
just songs that like I know
Unknown Speaker 41:22
I've never been in a coma so I don't know how Oh I know that
Unknown Speaker 41:26
good coma jam
Unknown Speaker 41:28
I just know that like it's like stuff that like I wouldn't get sick of But yeah, I need
Unknown Speaker 41:34
it oh my god it's only an hour and 18 minutes so I gotta really step it up cuz comas are vague more weeks Yeah, I need okay
Unknown Speaker 41:47
wait let me put this on my to do list real quick.
Unknown Speaker 41:51
Okay, but back to your teachers
Unknown Speaker 41:55
I don't know how to say it. Sure.
Unknown Speaker 41:58
My wish
Unknown Speaker 42:02
I ordered it and it was kind of on backorder because apparently like lots of people were worried about parasites so I finally got it and you put it in a
Unknown Speaker 42:15
well you can put it in whatever I did it in like some water in a shot glass. You do like 30 drops twice a day.
Unknown Speaker 42:24
You like doing that and just like buying a line
Unknown Speaker 42:33
that maybe would have helped it was fucking gross. It tasted like
Unknown Speaker 42:38
I don't know. Like kind of herbal but kinda like cough syrup. I don't know was it kind of like the stuff that they give you to like
Unknown Speaker 42:54
it had to have one yeah oh wait haven't had to have one Yeah, okay, I don't know how to talk that's not an accurate
Unknown Speaker 43:02
but I got it and I started doing it and I did it for like
Unknown Speaker 43:08
I don't know maybe a week but in that time period there was one night where I woke up with like this awful headache
Unknown Speaker 43:17
and like I started having some skin stuff which isn't that out of the ordinary for me but this was like back in June and we were about to go on vacation and I was like I can't deal with these fucking parasites now.
Unknown Speaker 43:30
So I haven't picked it back up yet but yeah
Unknown Speaker 43:35
yeah
Unknown Speaker 43:38
but I've seen a bunch of other shit that's like people don't have parasites like because the people that were taking the mixture,
Unknown Speaker 43:47
tincture mixture we're sure were saying that they were like shitting out worms and that they could see stuff in the toilet
Unknown Speaker 43:57
Yeah, well I fell for it because I'm a dumb ass I was like oh like I mean worst case scenario. Like I just wasted money but best case scenario I'm getting rid of some worms
Unknown Speaker 44:11
so I did it and while I didn't finish it but yeah, now I've seen people being like yeah Demisse that's not true. That's like your stomach lining that you're pooping out or like mucus or Oh, no, oh shit. Yeah. So I got suckered into some parasite cleanse, but I don't know maybe I'll do that for the podcast.
Unknown Speaker 44:39
Do it and talk about my journey. Don't destroy the lining or
Unknown Speaker 44:43
I don't want to feel alone though.
Unknown Speaker 44:48
By the way, I think there are tests that doctors can do to see if you have worms and what types because I remember watching a TLC thing that was like my dangerous habit or whatever. And like this one guy's saying
Unknown Speaker 45:00
was eating raw meat? Oh, I think I've seen that. Yeah, and then they tested them. Um, but the tapeworm will like break off little segments of its body and those little segments that break off, I can't remember what they're called, but those have like a bunch of eggs in them, shake.
Unknown Speaker 45:18
Shake mints, it segments,
Unknown Speaker 45:22
segments, the segments come off and make little A and A has little all the tiny eggs on there and linna like the lining of that, I guess. sakal decom Sorry, my brain keeps thinking about tapeworms and I can't get it off my head stop. Maybe you have a brain worm. Maybe the tape word infected me and it's trying to like make itself like, you know, control you.
Unknown Speaker 45:49
It's like you're gonna spread the word.
Unknown Speaker 45:53
And make people interested in me and normalized.
Unknown Speaker 45:58
Or maybe the tapeworm is actually good for your brain. Because it's clogging the brain blades. It's like filling in the holes, maybe with its little chagrined. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 46:10
Do you think people can believe eating in the background? Oh, I don't think so. I think that the way that we have the sound setup is good. I mean, it's not like it'll hurt.
Unknown Speaker 46:26
It won't like, bring down the quality.
Unknown Speaker 46:32
Um, oh, oh, yeah. Up bugs in your brain can be a whole nother segment and worms.
Unknown Speaker 46:42
Yeah, one of my friends works for a nonprofit that like goes to different countries and stuff. And one of her co workers went to some really remote place. And she came back and she was having trouble seeing.
Unknown Speaker 46:59
And finally, they figured out that she had a little parasite in her eye. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 47:07
there is a video where you can see it moving. It was so cool.
Unknown Speaker 47:13
Jamie just threw her pin is covering her face. I just like, oh, like I stuff is
Unknown Speaker 47:21
one of the things I'm kind of sensitive about if I like.
Unknown Speaker 47:25
Now, I'm like imagining something.
Unknown Speaker 47:30
Let me
Unknown Speaker 47:32
I'm
Unknown Speaker 47:34
like, I remember watching. I used to watch the crap out of unfold stories of the yard. Oh, yeah. And I remember one where a lady came back from like, an exotic location. And she had like some kind of like eggs. Like, oh, I seen that one. Yeah, that's such a vivid memory that I
Unknown Speaker 47:55
and I don't know if you remember this, too, but we're talking about worms. And it reminded me there was a part two where there was like a homeless person that came in and they had like cut parts of their arm. And like they were putting like worms and like, stuff in it for fun. Yeah, they're like they're my friends and stuff. Oh my god. So just Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 48:19
But anyway, I have a couple of
Unknown Speaker 48:22
personal childhood getting stung story. Oh, yeah, let's hear him. Um, so the first one was I was at I was like, super little like, I don't know, elementary school or kindergarten or something. But I was at my sister's soccer practice playing on these old bleachers and then a bee stung me on my butt and I just started screaming and crying and her coach ran over it got me and carried over carried me over to my mom
Unknown Speaker 48:53
and then my mom just like pull my pants down
Unknown Speaker 48:56
and run of everybody.
Unknown Speaker 49:00
Um, but the the next one, um, I was I think I was in high school and my parents were dropping me off at work that day and my uniform was had khaki pants. And so I was in the backseat. And you know how sometimes you feel like a tickle like somewhere on your leg or something and you just go to like this just like a little H or something. So that's what I felt. So I went to like scratch it and then I felt something move. And I was like, Oh, I didn't know what to do. So I was just like, well, maybe I can like squash it if I just like push it against my leg. And it's done the fuck out of me. I don't I don't know if it was like a wasp or like what kind of thing it was, but it was ones that can sting multiple times. And so it just like I was still trying to like hold it on my knee and like, try to squash it and I just kept like singing the shit out of me and I was just screaming and my parents were like, quiet. What and then they pulled
Unknown Speaker 50:00
car over and then I'm like my dad flung open the
Unknown Speaker 50:07
back door and then you know I was just like doing stuff with my pants trying to get it and then like he pulled my pants off and then like another car people stopped her like oh hey you guys need
Unknown Speaker 50:23
but I was thinking about this the other day and to be fair, it probably looked really weird. Like, yeah, I do like that around the car pulling a young girl's pants off and she's bawling her eyes out and screaming like it probably looked very good Samaritan. Yeah, so yeah, so while I was like I was embarrassing I can't believe they did that they were you know, they were probably just trying to make sure I wasn't getting kidnapped her. Or, you know, worse.
Unknown Speaker 50:57
Oh, yeah, those are my stinging stories.
Unknown Speaker 51:03
I can't really think of any stinging stories but the pulling the pants off.
Unknown Speaker 51:10
Video videos does this was really funny. Like,
Unknown Speaker 51:15
in my house, we like to pants each other
Unknown Speaker 51:18
and it's just you and your husband.
Unknown Speaker 51:30
Or you can have the like drawstring pants like you ordered with the girl at the mall.
Unknown Speaker 51:40
Yeah, it's funny because you know, you'll just be like, making some food or whatever. And then all of a sudden you get pants or even better if you can get the other person
Unknown Speaker 51:52
in G is really good about it. He is like really fast cat like reflexes.
Unknown Speaker 51:58
Like he catches you doing it. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 52:01
Like stance.
Unknown Speaker 52:04
If I start to do it, like
Unknown Speaker 52:09
bring his legs out, so I can't like pull them down. Like they get stuck once I pulled his sir.
Unknown Speaker 52:16
He's really good. But last night.
Unknown Speaker 52:19
Last night, I got him and he was not expecting. Oh, nice. What was he doing? He was putting some food in the microwave.
Unknown Speaker 52:28
snuck up behind him. It was pulled his fans.
Unknown Speaker 52:32
It was awesome. So victory for me.
Unknown Speaker 52:35
What was like, What would you say? Like the worst time he got you was? Oh man.
Unknown Speaker 52:43
I can't think of a specific one. But typically, it's like, when your hands are full of something like oh, you have like a bunch of plates in your hand.
Unknown Speaker 52:54
Throw the plates down.
Unknown Speaker 53:01
Yeah, it's a fun game. If you don't do it, I highly suggest pulling your significant others pants down and because like even though, you know you're in your own house, and the instinct is still to be like, oh my god.
Unknown Speaker 53:19
Try to like bring them back up really quick.
Unknown Speaker 53:23
Um, we don't wear pants on this house easily.
Unknown Speaker 53:29
But I could still make it fun. Y'all are just Donald Duck in all the time.
Unknown Speaker 53:34
We have underwear on but not pants.
Unknown Speaker 53:37
Or like, Is that what you guys are pulling up pants or underwear? Oh, either one. Both? whatever's available.
Unknown Speaker 53:46
Yeah, I only Um, I've only pants to Brandon once. We are helping a friend move. And
Unknown Speaker 53:53
he was like up some stairs and him and another friend were like throwing stuff at each other. And so I just like went behind him.
Unknown Speaker 54:00
And a pants dumb. And that was the moment I realized that was not the time or place or age.
Unknown Speaker 54:07
Nothing about it was right. The pants people.
Unknown Speaker 54:13
Oh, ah, you get to talking to him was like Jamie No.
Unknown Speaker 54:19
Pants. It was kind of like why would you even do
Unknown Speaker 54:24
I hate stuff like that. Talk about it. In your head. You're like, this is funny and you do it. everybody's like, what the fuck? Like, Oh, man.
Unknown Speaker 54:33
That happens to me more often than I'd like to admit. Like, it's kind of been a thing with socializing again, like
Unknown Speaker 54:41
I met a few co workers for the first time. And it was a bunch of girls on one guy and we're all saying bye to each other and
Unknown Speaker 54:51
they all hug the dude and I was like, oh man, it'd be really funny if I like you want to hug me or like I want you whatever. And then like I hit STAT Oh,
Unknown Speaker 55:01
So
Unknown Speaker 55:07
I his data I don't know if anyone heard luckily or if they did they just straight up fucking ignored it. They're just like what the fuck.
Unknown Speaker 55:18
They're still kind of like some conversation going like around so like, I'm hoping it got drownded out and it looks like I just made a weird facial expression. And because this was like
Unknown Speaker 55:29
this was like
Unknown Speaker 55:31
this was like the one week people kind of like stop wearing a mask and
Unknown Speaker 55:36
now we're masking like, use this opportunity to hit
Unknown Speaker 55:41
my time to shine like a word inside of software outside when this happened. Um, but yeah, I was like, Oh, it's gonna be so funny and
Unknown Speaker 55:51
well, so I don't know if he just didn't,
Unknown Speaker 55:54
didn't respond to it or just didn't hear it. But it didn't seem like you really reacted to it. So I was like, who dodged a bullet, but whenever it got to the car, I was like,
Unknown Speaker 56:05
I hate myself.
Unknown Speaker 56:10
He just took care of the cabin. ninetales and certain qualifying yourself.
Unknown Speaker 56:21
And that happens more.
Unknown Speaker 56:24
Oh, yeah, me too.
Unknown Speaker 56:27
Should I tell my super cringy story? Do you have anything else? Oh, or me? Oh, I think you have a Oh yeah. So I have another story. It's kind of a random story.
Unknown Speaker 56:41
But has to do with pants. It sounds like Yeah. When we're talking about pants that reminded me of it. Um, so in high school, um, post Katrina. The science lab was not like quite put together, I guess you could say so like, all the tables had gotten like, washed away and all the hardware was like still on the floor with the nails and everything.
Unknown Speaker 57:03
And
Unknown Speaker 57:04
I don't know why I was a fucking asshole kid. I thought it was funny. Like kick dudes in the ball. Did you shit on these desks? On top of the hardware?
Unknown Speaker 57:15
No, I didn't fit on top of it. But wait, sorry. Is that what you said? Yeah. Referencing your shitting in the last time you said I was a shithead kid?
Unknown Speaker 57:28
Um, no, I just thought it was fine to kick dudes in the balls. And then
Unknown Speaker 57:33
especially when you're all in the little. But this particular time I am in class, I kicked them
Unknown Speaker 57:41
in the balls, and then you fall over and hit his knee on one of the screws. Oh my god.
Unknown Speaker 57:49
So it was just like double whammy? Well wait, because he just like, kick them in the balls. And let me just was like, Oh, no grab for it and then fell over and
Unknown Speaker 58:00
screws?
Unknown Speaker 58:02
Like, yeah, double fucked.
Unknown Speaker 58:05
Yeah, that was does that. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 58:09
It makes me think of that family guy thing. We're Peter Griffith. Like, oh, Griffin.
Unknown Speaker 58:17
Balls.
Unknown Speaker 58:21
Oh, man, but I did a
Unknown Speaker 58:24
super awkward thing this week.
Unknown Speaker 58:30
I was working. And for the listeners that don't know, like, I don't know why I phrased it this way. It sounds like it's super serious. But my husband and I have a
Unknown Speaker 58:44
BMW repair shop where he does the fixing of the cars. And I do also like office shit. And so it's hard sometimes because like, all the business stuff is under his name. So sometimes I need to make a call and like do something with an account, but I can't because it's his name on it. So I have to like go track him down. Like have him talk to the person on the other end and be like, Oh, yeah, it's okay if you talk about the account or whatever it was her. So the other day I had to print a return label. And I was having all these like technical issues. And I had to like be on the phone a couple times. And the last time I was like, I'm so fucking annoyed. The next time that somebody answers the phone, I'm just gonna pretend to be you.
Unknown Speaker 59:39
He's in the office when I'm telling him that I'm on hold. Well, then somebody answers and I wasn't ready. And I didn't think about how I was going to
Unknown Speaker 59:53
the guy answers and he's like, Hey, this is that I do for you. So I panic.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:02
Hi, Zack, this is Georgia.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:24
He's just like a rug.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:38
I had a question about
Unknown Speaker 1:00:51
and of course,
Unknown Speaker 1:00:57
thankfully, the connection was bad. I was like, Zack,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:10
I would have gone through the whole call.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:23
Thank you for your patience.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:27
Oh my god.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:32
Like that.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:37
Did he call back or like
Unknown Speaker 1:01:45
I didn't go is like, call in with the voice I just like kind of made my voice a little lower.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:58
But not that bad. I just kind of turned my voice down a little bit.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:07
She was like, What are you doing a voice like they're not gonna be like, no, you're not a man. Michael, what? Do
Unknown Speaker 1:02:17
you prepare?
Unknown Speaker 1:02:21
How long was the conversation? It was a very long
Unknown Speaker 1:02:26
the people on the phone seem like suspicious or like No, no. Nobody. Apparently nobody in the story gave a fuck.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:39
Nobody
Unknown Speaker 1:02:41
will be laughing about this for like borosil a week.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:47
So we have been using my fake van. Van bought my fake man voice
Unknown Speaker 1:02:56
around the house, so that's fun. Oh man. Whenever I passed him yesterday, I should have been like, gotcha.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:06
I was called brain and a bit.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:10
Bit a bit.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:14
Oh, bad. Um, I felt like you need to get like a voice changer. Oh.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:22
He's the one from scream.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:24
They had him in spirit. Halloween whenever we went okay, let me get it. Yeah, instead of doing a man voice She's like a ghoul.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:35
I think my man voice is usually just like,
Unknown Speaker 1:03:38
I'm a man.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:42
I'm a man.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:45
That's kind of mine too. But I guess I was really trying to be a voice actor, like Kevin saying.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:53
Yeah, good times.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:59
Um, well.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:04
Thank you for listening to our podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:08
Thanks, everyone for tuning in.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:11
We will be back soon with more stories of doing stupid shit and mainland content.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:22
Oh, yeah, sorry. Before we go go. Um, when I was editing the last episode, we're talking about dude, nicknames. And you just randomly said like, Oh, yeah, you like they're like stupid big fat head. No big fat hub. Brandon and his dad actually call each other fat heads.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:44
Like all that's what it was, dude.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:49
Just a couple.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:53
Okay, well,
Unknown Speaker 1:04:54
we'll catch you later. We're fat heads with the brain bleeds, signing off
Transcribed by https://otter.ai