Join Alyssa & Jamie as they catch up and get enraged!
Join Alyssa & Jamie as they catch up and get enraged! Things kick off with light chatter about some new & throw back shows, then play a little catch up. There is a medical freak out corner WARNING - EYE THINGS, the song will play before it's mentioned. Please fast-forward a few minutes.
The ladies try something new, Purse Check! What weird shit lies beneath?
UPDATE - Alyssa was living a goth girl's fairy tale and shares some stories from the funeral home days (and nights!). Oh yeah...was it mentioned they get enraged? RAAGGGEEEEE!
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
There's a new horror type of show hosted by a early 2000s 10 pop star that I just found out about. Oh, would you like to guess who do the pop star is?
Yeah. Okay, what was the era?
Unknown Speaker 0:19
You said? Maybe late 2000s early 2000 10s
Unknown Speaker 0:24
Male or female
female
Unknown Speaker 0:26
trashy-ish is kind of a brand
Unknown Speaker 0:30
Miley Cyrus now Katy Perry
Unknown Speaker 0:37
It's called "Conjuring Kesha".
Unknown Speaker 1:03
it's on Discovery Plus, I'm definitely gonna have to check it out. I was like waiting in the light to come here and saw it. And I was like, Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker 1:15
What kind of like horror show is it like is like,
Unknown Speaker 1:18
I think it's just her talking about like ghosts shit.
Unknown Speaker 1:21
Oh, okay. And I was thinking like, but, you know, like that old like scared reality show. The name of
Unknown Speaker 1:32
it? Yeah, that was on MTV, right? No, it was on MTV,
Unknown Speaker 1:41
or discovery? Um, give me a moment to google it the show I'm thinking of as scare tactics. I don't think I did. They would just set up these like really fake scenarios, to just like scare people. They would just like, put people in the special effects makeup and then have them scare people. I remember one specifically where they were like, kind of set the mood to be like a Bigfoot area. And they had people come in like rock the RV that they were in and they had people like walked by really fast and it just gets people's like, reaction. So it's like punked like, I guess it was like their version of punk. I guess. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 2:33
This one was called fear. And it's a paranormal television series that aired from 2000 to 2002. Nevermind I thought it was gonna tell us about Yeah, it was on MTV.
Unknown Speaker 2:46
Oh, cool. Cool. I didn't even know MTV had a show like that. Man so much to catch up on.
Unknown Speaker 2:51
Let's see conjured by Kisha
Unknown Speaker 2:55
conjuring Kisha? I guess Discovery's
Unknown Speaker 3:00
kind of taken a new angle with it. Because isn't Demi Lovato have a shout out about like aliens are what the fuck ever.
Unknown Speaker 3:09
I saw that the other day. And then there's some other like, Bitch like that. That's one that I can show checks out her creepy bucket list by delving deeper into the unknown with celebrity guests. That's gonna be good. And experts in the supernatural.
Unknown Speaker 3:28
You know what? I really I would watch it. If they put like Cardi B on there. Like, man, I would fucking love that. I thought the watch of like Cardi B does or whatever it was. She was. Yeah, it's just like a show where she just like goes that goes to do different things like ballet or cooking or just different things.
Unknown Speaker 3:54
I bet that's amazing. Yeah, maybe we can watch it together. Let's see how Oh, I don't think we introduced ourselves. This is the nervous laughter Podcast.
Unknown Speaker 4:07
I'm Jamie. I'm Alyssa. And I have to grab my notes.
Unknown Speaker 4:14
Notes obtained.
Unknown Speaker 4:16
So how are you doing this week?
Unknown Speaker 4:18
Um, I'm doing really good. First off, I think it's funny that I needed to grab my notes because it's not like we have many things listed on it. It's like, I don't feel comfortable without my notes. Um, yeah, I'm doing well, kind of with an asterix, you know, just anxiety stuff. Yes, that lately, especially social anxiety. I have been trying to go into the office a little bit. Um, but so I'm either going in on like Wednesday or Friday, Friday. cuz they have free pizza. Like, yeah. But it's funny because I remember the first day I was packing to go to the office because I was like, man, you know, I'm excited to go to the office, you know, kind of like, maybe talk with people a little bit. And then, um, I went to go to my car and then I ran back inside. I was like, Oh, shit, my headphones. And Brandon was like, you like need your headphones. I was like, y'all. Yeah, I mean, I don't want people to talk to me. Talking about me. Talk to people.
Unknown Speaker 5:30
Just a little bit.
Unknown Speaker 5:31
I'm like, Yeah, you know, on my terms. Yeah. Like, whenever I go get a cup of coffee or something. And then one, one of the days was my birthday that I was debating about going in on and then I just decided against it because I didn't want people to talk to me. If they found out it was my birthday, because I was like, No, people were gonna like, come to my desk and be like, hey, hey, happy birthday. Yeah, so I was like, no, no, thank you.
Unknown Speaker 6:01
Um, we went
Unknown Speaker 6:03
to Maggio's for Jamie's birthday. It was good. The weird experience. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 6:11
I'm shady. Yeah, no shady experience. It
Unknown Speaker 6:15
was fine. We were like Boomer mad, but yeah, we were just shitting like super well, but just like we didn't really have drinks and yeah, we weren't we weren't gonna order to get semi crunk. Yeah, that's
Unknown Speaker 6:27
my plan. I was gonna have like two drinks in one name. So I was like, Yeah, send me cool. Um, but I just had one.
Unknown Speaker 6:36
Yeah, it was good. It was like what like a peach. Like, yeah, it was a fluffy but blended. It was a peach fluffy. Yeah, like a peach.
Unknown Speaker 6:48
I don't remember what they called it. But
Unknown Speaker 6:50
yeah, like a peach alcoholic drink with like a swirl of wine in it. It was pretty delicious.
Unknown Speaker 6:56
It's good. Frozen as the word I'm saying. Yeah, but just say fluffy instead.
Unknown Speaker 7:01
Fluffy Shashi.
Unknown Speaker 7:04
Yeah, that was fun.
Unknown Speaker 7:05
Thank you for coming to dinner. It was kind of funny because like, I feel like everyone just kind of like tired.
Unknown Speaker 7:13
But still made
Unknown Speaker 7:14
the effort to come out. So it was it was so fun. Or maybe that was just me feeling that way and think tracting projecting it on everyone.
Unknown Speaker 7:24
And what else
Unknown Speaker 7:27
did I write down? Hold on. I wrote a couple of things down for this. Oh, it might the pool key. I was still waiting, checking on the pool key. And they emailed me yesterday. And I was like Alyssa offered to check it. So thank you, Alyssa.
Unknown Speaker 7:46
I was like, I don't live by any of these bitches. I don't care if I look stupid. But yeah, the pokey doesn't work after all this.
Unknown Speaker 7:53
So I can email them for sure. And it's funny because they're like, it's not showing any activity and it's like, Yeah, cuz it doesn't fucking work.
Unknown Speaker 8:00
You. I'm
Unknown Speaker 8:03
gonna have a nervous laughter Pool Party whenever.
Unknown Speaker 8:06
I don't think I'm allowed many guests. Oh, really? And maybe that's an easy rule
Unknown Speaker 8:13
to bend but I'm too scared to break. You could have two guests and Brandon.
Unknown Speaker 8:19
Ever and my neighbors can have you guessed and
Unknown Speaker 8:22
yeah.
Unknown Speaker 8:24
And another small thing I wanted to make a note about was I stopped seeing my therapist. Oh, for a few reasons, but it was getting a little expensive but also I think I told you about this but I'm getting like a little religious on me.
Unknown Speaker 8:39
If you're listening fuck you. That's so unprofessional on so many levels. The fuck?
Unknown Speaker 8:47
I started utilizing like the messaging thing because I was like maybe I can see if I can get my money's worth and see if that's kind of worth it, you know? And she like sent me a Garth Brooks song No, I've
Unknown Speaker 9:03
it's the first one. I thought it was that one that's like, and the thunder Doom doom.
Unknown Speaker 9:12
I think we used to sing that as like a pumping song kind of making fun of like
Unknown Speaker 9:22
we're like, don't break my heart. Wait, no, that's not great. Summers boy.
Unknown Speaker 9:28
Yo, Billy Ray. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, yeah. I'm at Smollett.
Unknown Speaker 9:37
So yeah, she sent me Garth Brooks song. It was the first time I heard it. I can't remember what it was. But it was just like, I was talking about like being nice to people. And then like, also mentioned religion, and I was like, it has a nice message and then she just like continued on about like, love to train me. Yeah, just like she quoted the Bible and like said some other shit. I'm like Don't maybe you're intending for me to, like, relate this to something not religious because I've brought up a lot of times. But I'm not just because she's asked, like, as we're doing stuff like, I guess she gives me advice. So she already knows I'm very much not religious at all. Kind of made me fucking
Unknown Speaker 10:25
fight this bitch.
Unknown Speaker 10:27
And like I had another therapist in the past that was like, um, I guess like, one of the things was like religious therapists but like, for the area was in in Mississippi like I was like okay, well you know for what I can find with my insurance this is probably like the best closest thing I'm gonna find me and her even her her card had like a family on the front with like, you know, the sun coming through the clouds. My brain remembers across on there. I don't know if I'm just editing that in. Seems like a finest worry. But yeah, it was kind of very, you know, Christian family like, and she never mentioned religion or anything at all or even brought up like, Well, the Bible says this and you could No, so
Unknown Speaker 11:18
it was awful. Did you complain? Or say anything to BetterHelp do be like, Jamie pretending to be people voice. Hi,
Unknown Speaker 11:37
Jamie. I feel like you need to like inhale like helium for my voice. We're trying to do your best like Bart Simpson voice. I feel like it's someone. News. Right, radical? Okay,
Unknown Speaker 11:54
I will do that. Okay, fuck this bitch.
Unknown Speaker 11:55
Well, and whenever I left BetterHelp like, it leaves a survey that's like, questions about your therapist, and I wasn't honest. I was like, to trace it back to me. I'm
Unknown Speaker 12:08
gonna like, I'm sure people are quitting her all the fucking time. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 12:11
she like gave me some good advice and stuff. But there was just some stuff that felt weird, like, the religious stuff. And also, that's she, um, I talked to her about having like, narcissists in my life. Oh, and then, um, she kept us sending, I'm referring to family members. And she, she sent me like a bunch of stuff for like, just like what to do in a narcissistic relationship. And then she kept like, talking about like, stuff with like, a relationship she used to be in. And then one time, Brandon got on to Aerith because I've mentioned before, we've had issues with her, like, just attacking Sam out of the blue. And I was in the middle of a therapy session. And you know, you could just hear him yell in the background like, Hey, girl, and then therapist was just like, Are you being called? And I was like, No,
Unknown Speaker 13:11
I was like, If anyone ever
Unknown Speaker 13:14
called me like, yeah, like, and had like an, you know, like a little bit of a thing. Yeah. Yeah, and I was just kind of like, no, like, if anyone called me like bond, I would punch them in the face and explain to her the situate like, yeah, she believed. I don't know. Because then like, later to she like, when I first started messaging her, like, one of the first things she asked was like, oh, like, are you happy in your marriage and stuff? Oh, my God, what is this? Bitcoin? Just kind of like, I feel like you're kind of this is not your therapy session. Yeah. Cuz you would keep talking about like her past stuff, too. And it maybe I should have like, told her but like, it made me a little uncomfortable. Like, yeah, I realized that she was probably trying to be like, I can relate or something. Or she did it too
Unknown Speaker 14:19
long, though.
Unknown Speaker 14:20
Yeah, it was kind of like, okay, I'm paying you to listen to my shit. Like, I don't want to listen to you talk about like your, and it was the same stuff like all the time to like, I would hear like the same stories every session, and I'm the kind of person that pretends like I hear it for the first time. I'm like, oh, and so it's just like, Okay,
Unknown Speaker 14:41
I think I got got enough.
Unknown Speaker 14:46
Better help. Like, the first person I had. It's fucking awful. The second one I really liked her but she left BetterHelp because it's so fucking expensive. And do
Unknown Speaker 14:55
you want to talk about your first one?
Unknown Speaker 14:56
Yes, like she she only You had like
Unknown Speaker 15:00
phone and texting available like some of them have video, which is what I ended up doing with the next one, but this bitch,
Unknown Speaker 15:07
like she,
Unknown Speaker 15:11
I think the reason she didn't do video is because she was walking around her fucking apartment doing shit. Like I could hear it like, Oh, I heard the email noise that was like thing. I'm like, You're fucking checking your email. And then at some point, I heard a microwave. I'm like, pay attention to what I'm fucking talking about.
Unknown Speaker 15:29
And then like, I feel like what I want
Unknown Speaker 15:33
in a therapist, I want to kind of like, establish some basic shit, and then go from there, which is what I feel like I've always done well, she was just like, talking to me about general shit talked about herself a lot and was like, yes, like, what do you have going on? Like didn't I don't know. It was just fucking awful. And I was like, switch. Yeah, her name is wind Fox. Actually another therapist I had in the past, but I want to look up. That's an Austin, but they're fucking dates. I mean, like, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 16:09
yeah, they can be awesome. But I mean, they're just people too. So yeah, they could be asked, and even more, so there are people that also have mental problems. Yeah, more times than not. So. I feel like the first therapist I had, like, when I was younger, like
Unknown Speaker 16:29
she felt almost like, too close to me.
Unknown Speaker 16:33
And so after she sent me to the mental hospital, I stopped going to her. I was like, fuck you, you stupid bitch. Okay, like it's all the therapists fault I really do get some things from these people. But
Unknown Speaker 16:56
you kind of after they just you can only take
Unknown Speaker 17:01
so much stuff from one person.
Unknown Speaker 17:03
Yeah, I went to a lady for five years and then one day I was just like, You know what, you've really been fucking pissed me Well, I just like I had kind of noticed some things building and then like, I guess it was just kind of the last straw and I was I felt kind of bad because I just like stopped going after five years. Like part of me. I was like, Oh, maybe I should send an email but I was like, man, fucker. You know like, she's just some shit. That wasn't cool. So
Unknown Speaker 17:31
that bitch I don't even know what she did. Fuck her. It was it was wrong. I'm on your side.
Unknown Speaker 17:38
army against Army brat head army. Head army.
Unknown Speaker 17:47
If you guys have any weird therapist stories, please write in and let us know because oh my god, please. Just. Yeah, we can relate. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 18:00
Um, I'm gonna have to make notes. Like
Unknown Speaker 18:05
yeah, I'm trying to think if there was anything else like I don't think I have any other like therapy stuff. Um,
Unknown Speaker 18:11
okay, well give me the BetterHelp hotline, so I can call leave an
Unknown Speaker 18:15
anonymous tip. Hey,
Unknown Speaker 18:17
this is Jamie. Hey, guys. Sorry there's a count in here.
Unknown Speaker 18:25
Oh, oh my god that reminds me of a random story. Um, I remember the one so I used to play like x box with some people and we would be in like party chats and someone would sometimes people would say something like really stupid and it made me laugh and it wasn't on mute. And they would be like oh, what are you laughing at me? And it was like oh no, like my my dog just did something really really funny. Play I can't explain
Unknown Speaker 18:58
it's so funny. I can't even have the words to describe
Unknown Speaker 19:06
some good times on Xbox Live I'll have them I can loop back on some stories later if we hear about those but I but how are you I think I kind of hijacked that with
Unknown Speaker 19:20
therapy man we got the Fed hit army against therapists going good. I had a medical freak out
Unknown Speaker 19:38
reaction that
Unknown Speaker 19:39
was I was in the shower. Got out. I don't know I feel weird that I'm adding
Unknown Speaker 19:51
these I was in my towel and I hear George come in and he was like, Hey, I think my eyes really fun. Oh my god, I'm in it. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 20:01
my my I might, I just jumped to like he like gotten drill on his iron.
Unknown Speaker 20:07
Thankfully, it wasn't that bad. I'm always scared of that. And that reminds me something else but like I looked is i and it was pretty bloodshot and there was almost like a bubble
Unknown Speaker 20:21
on the eyeball Oh. So I'm kind
Unknown Speaker 20:25
of freaking out. I'm like, we need to like go to the ER. But it's America and we're like, this is good, cause like, we're like, factoring that in a little bit. And I kind of like flushed out with eyedrops because we thought something got in it. But he was just sitting there whenever it happened. So Oh.
Unknown Speaker 20:49
Like, I would go into fucking panic
Unknown Speaker 20:52
for a little too late. But he had been like grinding some metal earlier. And like he had like a shield and goggles and stuff. But the only thing we can think of is like, sometimes that metal gets really fine. So maybe there's like a piece on his shirt. And he like wiped His face or something. Yeah, but we couldn't find anything in it. So I don't know if we flushed it out. But we're trying to decide what to do. And then I used to work in a doctor's office. Yeah, he's worked on the car before. So we call It's a husband and wife. They're both optometrists, we call the husband, he doesn't answer. I send the wife a message on Facebook. She doesn't answer. We call him again. And we're like, oh, I guess we'll go to the ER. But finally, she got back to me on Messenger and, like, I sent pictures and she was like, Oh, I think it's just a he tore his sclera which I guess was like the white part.
Unknown Speaker 21:54
Like, I can't roll my eyes, like, like, into my head hard enough. Like, ah,
Unknown Speaker 22:00
it was weird, because there was it was kind of bloodshot. It had the little bubble. And there was like, some blood, but like, more blood came out. So it was like, I mean, it was still tiny, but I could tell the blood was growing. But yeah, she was like, Oh, I think he just did this. Like, you know, if there's not any pain, just come in tomorrow, and I'll look at it and it was fine. But I'll show you some other pictures. They're pretty crazy.
Unknown Speaker 22:25
How like, what like how bloodshot was it? Was it like the entire thing, right? Or like,
Unknown Speaker 22:29
No, it was you can only tell when he lifted up, but it's it's still like really fucking red. He's having to wear glasses. Can't wear contacts for a while. But I guess it's essentially like a bruise on your eye. Ooh, it's like bloodshot and weird. Yeah, it's pretty
Unknown Speaker 22:45
crazy. That's weird. Yeah, so that was the medical update.
Unknown Speaker 22:51
Oh, and at one point, were in the car. I was going to drive us to the ER, but then later, they got back to us. And I was trying to, like, take a picture of it to send to her. And like, the AC was blasting me and I was like, I gotta turn the AC. He's like, Stop freaking out. You're freaking me out. That was like, to me that way. I was definitely more worried. But I was like, he just fucking leaves us if we make the wrong call. I mean, I guess not. But yeah.
Unknown Speaker 23:22
I would feel to you. I feel like
Unknown Speaker 23:27
I wouldn't be able to get my
Unknown Speaker 23:28
shit together. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 23:30
it was crazy. Like when Brandon had the peanut reaction? Oh, yeah. I am, at least like are glad that our friend was there to to drive because I was just
Unknown Speaker 23:40
like, oh, yeah, here in another city.
Unknown Speaker 23:42
Yeah, like, because like, whenever I first like realized, okay, like, shit, we need to go to the hospital like now. Like, my knees got weak. And I was just like, oh.
Unknown Speaker 23:54
I was just really scared. Um,
Unknown Speaker 23:59
anything. Anything else as of recent going on now and weird stuff happened and pull
Unknown Speaker 24:06
class or? No, I actually haven't been and a little bit. I'm trying to decide if I want to keep going. I don't know. Cuz I'm trying to decide. Yeah, I'm like, I feel like I'm too awkward. I'll never get
Unknown Speaker 24:25
a smaller class or something. If that helps. Oh, that would be cool. But yeah, I know. I know what you mean. I feel I feel weird. And some of the I don't know if this is what you're talking about. But I feel weird and like some of the poses and stuff and then like, when the instructors like, Yeah, you. Me Yeah. Oh, my girl. And I'm just like,
Unknown Speaker 24:49
ah,
Unknown Speaker 24:51
for me, it's not even that I just, I guess sometimes if I'm not good at something when I first do it, I'm like, I don't like it. Oh, bad. So like, I feel like I've kind of pushed that, but I'm like, maybe I actually don't like it that much. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 25:07
Yeah, I get like that sometimes, too. Um, yeah, don't beat yourself up fat heads.
Unknown Speaker 25:14
Yes, don't do it. And the other thing I think sometimes I'm just like, oh, I want to like have a week where like, Don't fucking leave the house. Sometimes I do that too. I don't even want to exercise. I'm just not gonna do shit. Because I'm always doing shit. So yep, just
Unknown Speaker 25:29
kind of curl up in a blanket and play play the switch and watch fast.
Unknown Speaker 25:35
Which we have a high rank or hear fanfare
Unknown Speaker 25:42
Yeah, I got a second place in Pac Man. 99 I'm a Pac Man. Um, and then I got fifth in Tetris, which took me a very very long time to do so Yeah, feels nice.
Unknown Speaker 26:01
Yeah. And I feel
Unknown Speaker 26:02
like you got to be like really good at Dr. Mario now because like I'll be when I get online I see like your online time Dr. Mario and
Unknown Speaker 26:09
I'm like yeah, I don't really play my switch like a ton. I have like 400 hours Animal Crossing, almost like 200 on Dr. Mario and that's kind of is I have a hard time getting into new stuff sometimes. I'm like, my just like the same old things.
Unknown Speaker 26:30
Yeah, I feel you I kind of like loop on the like, same music same games for a little bit until I can kinda scoot on to another new set of things to loop. Oh, I
Unknown Speaker 26:42
did download DC supervillains and I started playing it like right after the Roe v. Wade was overturned. And part of it you get to like punch cops. Really fucking therapeutic. Just like fuck authority and all these like Legos are scattering
Unknown Speaker 27:05
it was really nice. Yeah, I feel like
Unknown Speaker 27:11
oh, I don't know. I feel like I have addressed my feelings on that. Like in waves. Oh, no, it's
Unknown Speaker 27:18
been. It's been. It's been weird. I might join you in a little thing sometime. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 27:26
whatever they're called.
Unknown Speaker 27:28
It's it's been good. I've only been to a couple so far because I'm a fucking
Unknown Speaker 27:32
idiot. And like, lucked out with the train.
Unknown Speaker 27:36
I take them metro rail down there because I've been having driving anxiety, which was super fucking fun. That's sarcasm. Yeah. And like parking downtown sucks anyway. Yeah, like, the metro rail is fucking perfect. I'll take and
Unknown Speaker 27:51
I haven't Oh, it's fun. I've been thinking about trying to get like a city pass or something students like Blanca, like walk up to take a bus to the metro and Oh, hell yeah, just use all the little MMA fans worked Yeah. Oh, but
Unknown Speaker 28:08
I guess it was on July 4 You know there was like so fucking bomber but you know, there's like the shooting at the parade. And I was like, oh, I need to like look at those like bulletproof backpack inserts like just have I mean not like it would do that much but I'm like well, it's something and so I'm like Fourth of July I'm gonna get a fucking bullet in my backpack and I look in their own fucking backyard oh my god this place like
Unknown Speaker 28:43
everyone needs them for fucking school. Yeah, so it's so filling with
Unknown Speaker 28:53
you can touch some Lego cops really nice little head pops off and all the little bricks scattered everywhere. It's great.
Unknown Speaker 29:03
Oh man.
Unknown Speaker 29:04
It's such a such a weird looking fucking world
Unknown Speaker 29:10
it's just like so many reasons not to have kids now like I don't want to die if I can't get an abortion. I don't want them to get shot if they have to go to school. I don't know if I'm willing to take on homeschooling a kid you know what my life looks like yet?
Unknown Speaker 29:25
Yeah. So we can have a fat head Academy for homeschooling?
Unknown Speaker 29:33
Yeah, yeah, we'll start online you guys can give us feedback on it oh my god imagine is trying to teach you well, I did put a
Unknown Speaker 29:46
I did put a small
Unknown Speaker 29:47
slide together for a small presentation at work for like a big group.
Unknown Speaker 29:53
It's just like a small thing.
Unknown Speaker 29:56
And not gonna lie. I almost feel like kind of have pressured into it just because like, no one else, like really likes to do them. And like, it's always awkward because like, people don't really have questions and like no one talks and so the manager is always like, well, quiet crowd like always. And it's just like,
Unknown Speaker 30:21
I don't want to fucking be here. Yeah, fuck yeah, working in this fucking hellscape and the apocalypse,
Unknown Speaker 30:29
things like I'm really depressed about a million things going on right now. And this was the last thing that I want to be doing. Um, so yeah, so I pressured myself into putting on a presentation next week, but it's gonna be really short. And I put in like fuck just like random meme pictures. So like one slide has like the Mortal Kombat guy from that will like pop out of the corner and be like, when you kick someone the ball? What else do I put in? Oh, and one thing I put like, it was like Vin Diesel approved. And I just like Vin Diesel like was was sunglasses on making a heart shape. And that's only because I've been watching fast and furiously, though. Yeah. And I gotta give a little bit of a shout out to zero credits podcast. I don't think they know anything about us. But they're a fun little podcast, they just talk about random stuff kind of like us. But they might be a little more
Unknown Speaker 31:42
audience friendly, wider audience friendly. Maybe not like they're for kids or anything. But you know, they don't read erotica and stuff. But yeah, they're a good listen. But apparently, they went through like a whole Fast and Furious series, and they talk about it a lot randomly. So I was like, I really want to see what this fast and furious thing is all about. Because I always just laugh about it being really dumb, but you know. Yes, it is dumb. But also it's awesome. So
Unknown Speaker 32:13
yeah, we watched through Well, I only kind of have paid attention but kind of recently and so funny when they're like programming the computer. I was like system failure.
Unknown Speaker 32:26
Enhance the picture. Yeah, and we just watched. Fuck, which one? Was it? Maybe the seventh one and? J She didn't know they went there was actually nine because I thought it seemed like two to three of them. Yeah, no, yeah, you gotta watch them. All. Yeah, I think there's nine. Maybe I might be wrong on that. But yeah, Jason. We just watched the one that has Jason Statham on it and are just really excited because like Jason said them.
Unknown Speaker 32:55
He's cool guy. Yeah. Um,
Unknown Speaker 33:01
oh, another thing that we discovered were chatting a little bit before the show. And before the show. That feels weird. I don't know why. And we found out that Alyssa used to live a goth girls fairy tale.
Unknown Speaker 33:18
Jamie pointed this out. I lived at the apartment at the funeral home. The first one that I worked at, and I came there with one black cat and ended up having two black cats. Yeah, it was live in the goth girl fairy.
Unknown Speaker 33:33
Yeah. Then you got Mary ruined it. Did you? Were you dating George when you lived in a mortuary?
Unknown Speaker 33:46
Sorry, no. I had moved. So there were two locations. One was in this tiny fucking town that had like 1000 people and I lived there. And then I usually worked at the other one like 30 minutes away. So I got an apartment there. So whenever we got together I lived in a non funeral apartment. But yeah, I had my older cat Bridget and she was always really loud. And I was always afraid that they were going to be able to hear her in the chapel. Because there was like a back hallway that you know people couldn't go into and there were like a couple rooms and my apartment was right there. And then it was kind of like a backwards l like you walk forward and then to the left there was a chapel or we had have funeral services. And I ended up getting all of as a friend for Bridget because she was just yelling all the time and like trying to get out I was like oh she needs company.
Unknown Speaker 34:45
Come to Stockholm Syndrome.
Unknown Speaker 34:50
But a couple of times she did get out of the apartment.
Unknown Speaker 34:56
Like out like she get outside or like into the funeral home.
Unknown Speaker 34:59
Like in to the funeral home park. So sometimes I would kind of let her wander around because I lived there and when there was nobody there I was like, you know, yeah, you can like sit by me while I'm on the computer. But this time I went to go into the apartment she ran out the door to the Shuffle was there is a body in there like it was set up. Hero so Bridget jumps up to the casket and then she hopped down and it was like make it happen.
Unknown Speaker 35:46
Was there anyone else around or was it like
Unknown Speaker 35:48
oh, it was like at nighttime. Oh, man.
Unknown Speaker 35:50
Did she she didn't like do anything to the body. Did she? Just like
Unknown Speaker 35:54
put her friend little legs up and like and I like to think that that person was a cat person. Yeah, but yeah, nothing disrespectful happened like the you know? Yeah, it was like a split second. I hope that doesn't make me sound like an asshole. I don't think so. You're an
Unknown Speaker 36:15
abuser? Cat abusers. Yeah, that was funny. Um, was there any kind of like special rules? You had to follow? Like living there? Like you didn't have Harvey like at your apartment there?
Unknown Speaker 36:31
Probably I mean, they never really gave me any like rules or anything. I think I had like a couple of friends over at different times but never like a party because it didn't really it took me a little bit to make friends and
Unknown Speaker 36:49
yeah, I imagine like working going to new places working on a funeral home it's probably not easy making. Meeting new people that are alive are not absolute shambles.
Unknown Speaker 37:08
Life is wrecked. Yeah. So actually met a couple people and ended up being friends. And there was a wine bar across the street. So that was really cool. Cool.
Unknown Speaker 37:17
Ooh, did you like ever just like get dressed up and go over there? Yeah, that
Unknown Speaker 37:22
was pretty much all there was to do there how there was like, Sonic and like a small grocery store and a couple shitty restaurants. That was pretty
Unknown Speaker 37:32
much okay. Yeah, I feel that I hate I have lived in many a place like that.
Unknown Speaker 37:40
Um, any other
Unknown Speaker 37:43
wacky Funeral Home stories?
Unknown Speaker 37:46
I have a couple. I didn't know if maybe we wanted to do some stuff for like, Halloween or like, oh, one quick thing that was super fucking gross. I worked
Unknown Speaker 37:59
with this guy. And he was kind of like,
Unknown Speaker 38:03
a womanizer a little bit. He had gotten divorced and like, lost a bunch of weight. And so he was like, super confident and was like, always with a different chick. And New wife new life. Yeah, he was one of those people that like when I met him, I was like, Oh, this guy's like super hot. But like, the more I got to know him, like he became unattractive to me. Yeah. So he was one of those but he had like an old girlfriend, like come visit or something. And I would hang out with him outside of work sometimes and like drink and whatever,
Unknown Speaker 38:38
at the wine bar.
Unknown Speaker 38:42
And so I guess I was hanging out with the two of them. And we went back to the funeral home he was like, showing her around. And we were like, all kind of drinking and stuff. So for some reason she didn't have shoes on. And so we went into the
Unknown Speaker 38:57
for some reason I was thinking she was just being wacky,
Unknown Speaker 39:01
crazy, Lady but she crazy. I'm sorry. She fucking walked into our prep room where all the dead bodies are without shoes. And I'm like, Bitch, fucking guts get dropped on the floor sometimes like like
Unknown Speaker 39:23
fluid,
Unknown Speaker 39:25
bodily fluid. So yeah, she was just like walking around in there without shoes. Nobody was fazed by it. But me I'm like, I've seen the stuff the shit the literal shit. Sometimes hard know when you
Unknown Speaker 39:39
say anything to her, or you just I was just like, go ahead.
Unknown Speaker 39:45
And like the prep room there was it needed to be redone. It was just kind of shitty anyway, so it was like, extra just, I don't know, grimy.
Unknown Speaker 39:56
Was it like a bunch of old equipment and stuff to you or just like a grimy old? Yeah, it
Unknown Speaker 39:59
was had a hold because like, we didn't really do that much work at that location. We did it at the other one. So just kind of like, there. Okay. But yeah, we used it occasionally. And yeah, definitely shouldn't walk around without shoes. And the chemicals. I mean, like Yeah, embalming fluid, like, just all kinds of shit.
Unknown Speaker 40:21
I feel like, what was the smell like in there? Because like, I've smelled like, rooms and like science labs where things are involved. It's not
Unknown Speaker 40:30
that bad. It mostly just kind of smells like whatever cleaner use. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, we went to a medical school, where they did like, preserve the bodies for science was fucking gross. It wasn't like that.
Unknown Speaker 40:47
Did you have to like dissect the body? Well, okay. Yeah. I mean, look, I know you do stuff with bodies, but
Unknown Speaker 40:53
like, we'd have to put them back
Unknown Speaker 40:56
together but never, like, disassemble that. They took us to the medical school in mortuary school, and I got to like, see the preservation process. And I got to hold a brain and a heart
Unknown Speaker 41:10
to cool. Yeah, so you must know anatomy decently well.
Unknown Speaker 41:15
I used to remember now. I mean, I graduated in 2008. So that's been a while.
Unknown Speaker 41:24
Cuckoo cuckoo. Um, hello, Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 41:34
I can't see without my notes. So the other things I have written down is like
Unknown Speaker 41:44
oh, yeah, we can do
Unknown Speaker 41:45
anything you talked to or have written down but just for extra, like,
Unknown Speaker 41:51
extra credit. For extra credit.
Unknown Speaker 41:53
I just have a purse checks
Unknown Speaker 41:55
games. Oh, that's all I have. Okay, the other
Unknown Speaker 41:59
books you want to do purse check. Sure. All right, so we're gonna try a new thing called purse checks. Let's check the
Unknown Speaker 42:10
check it out. What's it all about? Very awkward hand movements.
Unknown Speaker 42:20
So I'll have to start carrying an actual purse again.
Unknown Speaker 42:24
So sorry.
Unknown Speaker 42:26
Just saying because I will accumulate some weird shit. Right now. I pretty much have like a large wallet essentially.
Unknown Speaker 42:34
So I pretty much came up with like I just came up with this like just before I started
Unknown Speaker 42:37
recording, so I'll have a good
Unknown Speaker 42:40
check one day though. I've actually been thinking I need to carry an actual purse again because I'm always like, I need XYZ and I don't have it. So would you like to start us off with the check
Unknown Speaker 42:51
to check it out? Um,
Unknown Speaker 42:53
okay, so I have some some napkins
Unknown Speaker 42:56
with a taco bell or Chipotle
Unknown Speaker 42:59
they color Oh, shit.
Unknown Speaker 43:03
Okay, so they don't have anything on them but I wrote some notes on
Unknown Speaker 43:06
it or green marker maybe.
Unknown Speaker 43:10
says Mom Dad. Oh, okay. Yeah, so we bought pizza place that we ate it but like hockey stuff. So I sat next to
Unknown Speaker 43:23
the other people's kid and she
Unknown Speaker 43:26
wrote on this napkin was like here you can have it
Unknown Speaker 43:40
do you want to pose by like that? You know that man were the guys by the grave and he's Thank you.
Unknown Speaker 43:50
I hope it doesn't turn out like the birthday pictures that I took at the restaurants like we've just like I looked like the shining guy and all this weird yeah, I'll see if I can Photoshop those cool and I just have my wallet. What's in your wallet be real nosing credit cards and
Unknown Speaker 44:14
any Mississippi items leftover?
Unknown Speaker 44:17
I don't think so. Super library card.
Unknown Speaker 44:22
Well like when people say library I don't know why but I
Unknown Speaker 44:24
do. Oh my lips like rumbled for that library. I have my COVID Fixing card. Um, and old credit card. I don't know why I have that. Oh, yeah. Do you have something left over from Mississippi? It's a dirt cheap card. Do you guys have cheap here? We have a couple
Unknown Speaker 44:40
they're fucking shitty. Like the first one I went to in Arkansas was like nice. It was here all really shitty. I mean, the way Arkansas was a little bit shitty, but like the ones there's one in Waco one in New Braunfels. They're both like fucking trash heaps. They're like disgusting, but I love dirt cheap.
Unknown Speaker 45:00
I love dirt cheap too. I got a bunch of seeds that I have yet to plant. I have my Austin library card. Hey, hey,
Unknown Speaker 45:09
had to poop last time I went to dirt cheap and
Unknown Speaker 45:11
oh no. It's not a great place to go. That they had available restrooms. Yeah, that's good to know. Um, oh, when I have my IUD heard so
Unknown Speaker 45:27
soon
Unknown Speaker 45:31
they're gonna be like, Oh, we didn't get it removed in time. So go leave it in there forever. I don't know why, but I'm scared of blood.
Unknown Speaker 45:38
No, it's gonna be the opposite. They're gonna be like women don't know they can't make those decisions. So first gonna take that away. Let me take this it's like a pair of scissors for my three year old no more coat hanger sleeve.
Unknown Speaker 45:54
And, oh.
Unknown Speaker 45:58
That reminds me of like a story or read online but like so sometimes if
Unknown Speaker 46:05
if this the the
Unknown Speaker 46:07
wire string thing isn't cut short enough. It'll kind of stick out sometimes. Oh, and I read a story that a guy was getting all intimate on his lady down there and then saw something sticking out and just
Unknown Speaker 46:23
a pole. Yeah, dude. Fuck that guy. She's,
Unknown Speaker 46:27
like, blacked out for a second and I was like, dude, yeah, I would fucking blackout first.
Unknown Speaker 46:31
To get a fucking car. Like that. No, you don't just like never fucking
Unknown Speaker 46:38
somebody's body. Especially
Unknown Speaker 46:41
because like it's open. So it's like dragging all the way home.
Unknown Speaker 46:45
Obviously he didn't know what it was. But I mean, like, you have my business pulling something out of someone's body.
Unknown Speaker 46:52
Even though I do pull along nose hairs from carboy number three sometimes but he allows me to it's Yeah. Ingredients. consensual
Unknown Speaker 47:05
let's see a car keys car key battery. I have some stickers. I think they're meant for children at the end. I say the aerial sight thing. Well, one is this a TV one's a radio but it has.
Unknown Speaker 47:21
Oh, well. I
Unknown Speaker 47:22
thought it was a little face but that just might be the tape. Tape inside the thing. And then one says hit the Whoa. Which I don't know what the fuck that means, but
Unknown Speaker 47:33
it was kind of like a dab. A what? Like a dab?
Unknown Speaker 47:36
Oh, maybe it is. Is that what the kids call it? I think there
Unknown Speaker 47:40
was like a waffle like like this you Snoop Dogg? Yeah, like maybe I'm gonna look it up.
Unknown Speaker 47:48
I got the show shortly. I got the drop on my own porn. Sean Don, and I got the palette moves going on. brung lyrics
Unknown Speaker 47:57
but close enough. I have headphones and
Unknown Speaker 48:01
I got fucking pepper spray Bell Yeah, fuck those motherfuckers hand sanitizer
Unknown Speaker 48:11
oh a brochure for a what's it called? Oh,
Unknown Speaker 48:20
dispenser anything? Yeah. D nine Delta nine thing. Um an interesting receipts
Unknown Speaker 48:33
glasses. No, these
Unknown Speaker 48:34
are the ones
Unknown Speaker 48:40
Jamie glasses sitting there. And I was like, I better take these. And then we go back here. And she was like, Oh, shit. They just like cheap reading glasses.
Unknown Speaker 48:50
Yeah, I was like, Oh, I hope they're not nice and fancy. But they're like gather just like Walmart Dollar Store glasses, whatever. Reading Glasses. But yeah, I just keep the same. And I just fucking take them.
Unknown Speaker 49:06
Um, some hand wipes. Mirror is packing receipt, quarter quarters, and
Unknown Speaker 49:17
a drink packet that busted off the track. Oh, yeah. I just like pounded on the ground. And I was like, Oh, this is on open. I'm gonna try it. But now it's spilled all over the bottom of my bag, which is great. Um, just call us trash pandas. Yeah. And I've known I've known about it for a couple of weeks now, but it's a pain in
Unknown Speaker 49:40
the ass. Yeah, I found the Whoa, sorry.
Unknown Speaker 49:44
I was gonna say on the US the drink mix. I found out because it was spilled. Got over like my mask. My face masks I put in there and it smelled good jobs. So wearing masks. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I'm not gonna get into that right now. Um, but yeah, it's so it made my mask smell really good. And also, um, I inhaled a little bit so I got a little bit of both flavor here and there. So just, you know, just a flavor or some kind of like fruit, like, punch kind of flavor. So this Yeah, maybe, pour. Pour a little bit of that in a ziplock and put your mask on.
Unknown Speaker 50:30
I'm gonna show Jamie what Oh okay, yeah, I've seen
Unknown Speaker 50:45
I've seen people hit the wall before. I've seen it on a lot of graduations, I think.
Unknown Speaker 50:53
Oh, yeah, I don't know. Um, sounds like your purse.
Unknown Speaker 51:02
My little bag pin you have on the front of it.
Unknown Speaker 51:04
Um, this is a bag that I got from the barbell a box. That's like a fitness monthly box. So it's just a pin that says barbell. Oh, okay. And it has a little boundary bell on it. Camera. Even though I haven't been too weak. I have a piece of plastic that I didn't want to throw away. Okay, I wanted to put it I've started doing those like eco break things. Have you heard of those? You take like a plastic container. And then you take little bits of plastic and like shove it down. And eventually it makes like a break. And you can use them to like build shit or whatever
Unknown Speaker 51:41
shit. I never heard about that. Do you have to like,
Unknown Speaker 51:44
like, how does it all stay together?
Unknown Speaker 51:46
Um, you just kind of like jam it in there.
Unknown Speaker 51:49
So it just kind of impacts Yeah. Okay, cool. That's fucking cool.
Unknown Speaker 51:54
Um, I have in the zipper pocket. I have a couple tampons. Because you never know when the homies gonna need a tampon.
Unknown Speaker 52:03
I didn't like call you
Unknown Speaker 52:06
to talk about facts about it. Yeah, a little known fact. I had like 10 of them jammed in here because I guess I would just like put more in here. And they were like spilling out. And I don't think you need like 50 to 50 in there. And I was like, You're right. So
Unknown Speaker 52:27
you're not going to space Alyssa.
Unknown Speaker 52:32
That song look it up. Yeah, I think it's called 100 tampons. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 52:37
just put like one with some zeros behind it. Yeah, my tampons on
Unknown Speaker 52:41
how? When a woman went into space, and I showed know who, but I don't. But engineers were like, how many tampons do you need? And they didn't fucking know and gave her like an insane amount of tampons. Yeah. And the song is like, these are literally rocket scientists. Like why do they not fucking know like, it's good sign. Look at this stressful ball. Rolling out like a bunch of business cards. I have a shit ton of quarters and the bottom of the purse.
Unknown Speaker 53:17
I have a receipt. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 53:22
from when I went to the dermatologist. It was $102.24 Because our insurance sucks. I hope everything's okay. Yeah. My normal check. Okay, I'm a moly bitch. Hey, me, too.
Unknown Speaker 53:33
I have to go like, so. I was going like twice a year. And then I just got bumped on once a year.
Unknown Speaker 53:40
Oh, nice. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 53:42
it's nice. I print do you get a just asking because I get one remove like every time I go, do you? Um, I
Unknown Speaker 53:50
haven't. I've had a couple removed there's always stuff that I'm like, scared of and she's like, Oh, no skin cancer doesn't look like that. And I'm like, I hope you're fucking right bitch because I don't know. You're telling me the right thing. I'm relying on you. She reminds me of Melissa McCarthy and bridesmaids.
Unknown Speaker 54:10
She was just like shitting in the same thing get there.
Unknown Speaker 54:13
She's just like really casual. It's gonna
Unknown Speaker 54:17
just reminds me I feel like my dermatologist always has to like get to a point of talking about cats to like get me to really
Unknown Speaker 54:29
just like hitting streaming.
Unknown Speaker 54:34
I felt like an idiot. But that's like pretty much pretty much what people do to talk to me. Like when I'm saying the visit with like, the few times I have gone into the office. People are like so how's your cats?
Unknown Speaker 54:48
Me too like extended family that doesn't know me as well. It's just always like, Oh, here's a cat thing. Like, ooh. Which I appreciate but yeah, my personality. Yeah, I'm good with Yeah, I'm okay with it.
Unknown Speaker 55:04
He's falling. I have a bunch of
Unknown Speaker 55:07
shit jammed into my purse and I'm actually gonna take this time to organize. I have a hand sanitizer because I'm scared that I'm going to die of COVID I have a receipt from Georgetown metal recycling. Oh nice, which paid for my dermatologist visit oh cool scrap the car
Unknown Speaker 55:27
and the whole car wow it's
Unknown Speaker 55:30
cool like everybody I'm gonna plug he'll performance Bimmers check it out we post videos when we take cars to the junkyard and it's pretty cool watching them be crushed.
Unknown Speaker 55:43
I have some
Unknown Speaker 55:44
hill performance business cards.
Unknown Speaker 55:46
Oh in question on the ends there. The Instagram is who posts more online? It's not like you are George George. Okay. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 55:53
Every once in a while I'll do something but well, I say that I have like a couple of times. Okay. Yeah, that's all him.
Unknown Speaker 56:00
He's good at that. You guys are both good. I have
Unknown Speaker 56:06
a prescription for all of his
Unknown Speaker 56:08
food. Ooh, fancy Lee.
Unknown Speaker 56:11
She's on the hills kidney diet. Oh
Unknown Speaker 56:14
shit. I need to pick up my prescription. Walgreens is like big. We're gonna put those back.
Unknown Speaker 56:20
Oh, man.
Unknown Speaker 56:22
Sorry. You're good. I actually have
Unknown Speaker 56:27
cash. I typically don't have $24 Wow. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 56:32
like never fucking have cash. Nobody asked me.
Unknown Speaker 56:37
What said nobody robbed me. Oh, Mitt Romney. Yeah, that's totally what I said. Oh, I have my Abercrombie card in here.
Unknown Speaker 56:49
Oh, yeah, we gotta get a plan a visit. I'll go with you if you would like oh, yeah, but you know, don't wait on me.
Unknown Speaker 56:57
It's fine with me. I'm terrified of driving. So driver
Unknown Speaker 57:03
has been getting a lot better. Terrified here has this. I'm done with it.
Unknown Speaker 57:11
Damn it, Jamie. Oh, this is kind of cool. Our vet has a loyalty thing. Oh, so every $100 you spend you get a little punch which is every time I go Yeah, pretty much and then once you get I think this is 10 punches how it's more than
Unknown Speaker 57:28
that. 10 punches like 10 foot massages.
Unknown Speaker 57:31
I don't know if you remember when I talked about
Unknown Speaker 57:36
punch your foot.
Unknown Speaker 57:38
We we talked about it. I'll be like you want a massage and like crack my knuckles.
Unknown Speaker 57:45
Just hit myself.
Unknown Speaker 57:49
I have a card for
Unknown Speaker 57:53
the doctor's office. I used to go to their fucking concert so I'm not going there.
Unknown Speaker 57:58
Anyone just throw it away right now. Yeah, I'm gonna rip it up. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, that's all good. Okay, doctor.
Unknown Speaker 58:09
They didn't think that I had something based on my weight. So that's fun. And then you later got confirmation from bloodwork this bitch looked at me and was like, oh, no, no, you haven't been losing weight. So a woman even though I'm a woman, I'm not gonna listen to you. Yeah. Oh, look at my credit card. Oh, it's pretty much completely interactive card. Yeah. Wow. Pretty much completely ripped in half. I think because of this because I get anxious and
Unknown Speaker 58:41
I work in many things that way.
Unknown Speaker 58:43
Yeah. It sucks. But yeah, mine's not very exciting. Abercrombie I have my new Scott and White health insurance plan which I can tell is gonna suck ass so. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Got a
Unknown Speaker 59:03
I'm excited for Ambercrombie me too. So excited to see what they're like now see if they, you know, see if they've grown and matured?
Unknown Speaker 59:12
Probably not. Yeah, I was surprised that they weren't at my mall anymore, because it's been there since I was a teenager. And that was like 20 years ago.
Unknown Speaker 59:24
I assume it's pretty barren now.
Unknown Speaker 59:27
Not as bad as I thought there for a while. It was pretty empty, but they've kind of filled it out with like $5 stores and like, squish mellow shit. Ooh, squishy. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 59:39
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I need I haven't been to a mall.
Unknown Speaker 59:45
In a while.
Unknown Speaker 59:46
We should go there's like an Asian gift store. That's really cool. Oh, I have like all kinds of shit. But you're not allowed to take pictures in there for some reason,
Unknown Speaker 59:54
but it's cool. Okay. That seems shady. Almost
Unknown Speaker 1:00:01
like I've taken pictures before and I was scared I was gonna get
Unknown Speaker 1:00:08
mad Yeah, I'm not gonna take I'm not gonna sneak a picture or like step on grass where it says like don't stop.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:14
Oh yeah um I don't know we can probably close out or
Unknown Speaker 1:00:19
there's any oh and one quick thing before you you're saying that don't step on grass thing so my cousin by marriage personal information he's a wheelchair user and
Unknown Speaker 1:00:43
thing and it sounds very badly but it sounds like illegal the way you said yeah he's uses a wheelchair. He's wheelchair bound with a currently
Unknown Speaker 1:00:59
got the wheelchair, like shooting of wheelchairs on them popping really early on awesome sense of humor about it. They went to like Colorado or something. And they're all these, you know, they're in the mountains and shit. And I guess there was a trail that was kind of steep or whatever. And it said, like,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:29
me Look,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:30
it was a funny pun.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:33
So you took a picture with the sign like,
Unknown Speaker 1:01:35
Yeah, bitch.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:36
It was like, Yeah, that was says entering walking zone. Pedestrians only, like pointing to the
Unknown Speaker 1:01:43
sign. Walking zone only?
Unknown Speaker 1:01:45
Let me see.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:49
That's awesome. Yeah, just some quick little vent. Um, I so maybe I only noticed this because one of my good friends is handicapped. Um, we don't keep in touch all that much anymore. But it just made me super aware of like, we'll have like, handicap accessible places in those places. Yeah. So another thing to be angry about in the world. Every we, we forge. I mean, this might be common for people in wheelchairs. But we had like a small like ramp thing that would bring around with us because there was just so many steps and shit that you know, little, little leaps might not seem like a big deal, but it is. You can't get over it and chair. Yeah. So um, so yeah, it's the kind of it kind of frustrates me every time I go to a place in Fontana case. So yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:02:52
I actually worked at a place where like, the bathroom was kind of a step down. And I remember the owner being like, oh, it's not really ADA compliant, but hopefully we never get in trouble. Yeah, I'm gonna be fucking mad at you. If somebody can't use the bathroom and I look like a fucking big.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:13
Like, sorry, but I'll hold this cup for you. If you want me to bring it over there.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:21
You just spill some. Well, we'll leave some pee on the floor. It's fine.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:24
Yeah, one place I worked at, in Austin. So it was a place that had like two steps or two steps, two floors and had stairs to get to the second floor. But there was no elevator option. No fucking elevator in any of the three fucking buildings they had. Why? Because they get away with rebuilding and it fucking blew my mind because there was a handicap stall. So they're aware of the fact that there are handicapped people and like things to do for them but they did not have a a an elevator and it wasn't even a staircase that you'd be able to use a like portable ramp to get up. Like it was like 12 steps than like a landing then it turns on it's another like 12 Oh yeah. And yes, so just like well if we ever have to fucking interview someone it's gonna be awkward as fuck yeah, like sorry either we have to like do it outside or like meet somewhere or do it online and I'm sure that's not comfortable for them. Oh so much were
Unknown Speaker 1:04:35
your Birthday America
Unknown Speaker 1:04:43
like kicking stuff over now. Be I just it just annoyed me and when like, I've mentioned that to like some people and they're like, oh shit, you're right. I'm like, fuck
Unknown Speaker 1:04:52
yeah, you should go like, Oh, again. I'm gonna pretend to be you ever complained. It
Unknown Speaker 1:05:02
was just like I don't I don't even know why they never did that because they were they had people contracted working on the offices like all the time, like a majority of the time we were in the office, the people below us had contractors like fixing stuff in the office, because they wanted the rooms different than like, we had that going on in like two different buildings. And it was I don't know,
Unknown Speaker 1:05:26
maybe I should try to advocate for that more.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:28
Yeah, we should. I don't know who and be like, hey, this shit doesn't have I mean, I'm sure he could make like an anonymous tip.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:36
Maybe we should just make stickers but just say like,
Unknown Speaker 1:05:40
be ACA compliant
Unknown Speaker 1:05:41
or get on buildings that aren't ACA compliant? Yeah, and yeah, let's do that. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:05:50
this is for real burn it down.
Unknown Speaker 1:05:56
Everything you know we could do for that we could have a gender reveal party that would burn everything down. Because you know about those ones that oh, yeah, like
Unknown Speaker 1:06:06
shooting shooting? Yeah, I hope all your shit explodes your dumb ass.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:10
fucking hate how? What
Unknown Speaker 1:06:13
gender reveals evolved into you like it was just like a cake and
Unknown Speaker 1:06:20
a cop or a ballet dancer.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:25
Oh, man, we need to gather some of those and do it for an episode. Can I write that down right now?
Unknown Speaker 1:06:30
Maybe we can even make a video on it or something. But yeah, I hate gender reveals we'll we'll do some in the future. Maybe that'll be a good one to do with Chris.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:39
Hey, you're having a baby.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:42
Hey, no one gives a fuck
Unknown Speaker 1:06:45
do you want to know since we're kind of having a rager so do you want to know one more thing?
Unknown Speaker 1:06:51
Make me rage more.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:53
Okay, so I found out about this person. I'll keep it super vague. This must have been a while back.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:59
Sorry. Quick question isn't like a famous person or like someone
Unknown Speaker 1:07:03
that I know personally. Okay. Do I know them? Yeah, no, I don't really know them that well. But this was like, I guess before you could really be gay in the military. Oh, good one. Yes. So I guess they were in a position in the military. They didn't like they went and said hey, I'm having some gay feelings and got discharged. I understand that you're
Unknown Speaker 1:07:31
saying gay for some reason, but I just thought of like going into the nurse and just being like my stomach hurts or something I'm having these days is there anything we can do about that? No. Discharge
Unknown Speaker 1:07:58
No. Like you know
Unknown Speaker 1:08:04
it's like they don't really care about like spreading diseases but like a hazmat suit for the gay
Unknown Speaker 1:08:13
buck the government in the military but apparently
Unknown Speaker 1:08:19
gave the mood in this in this region do you think
Unknown Speaker 1:08:32
shooting wheelchairs
Unknown Speaker 1:08:36
Well, if you shoot up wheelchair if you shoot up wheelchairs, if you share with sorry, if you share wheelchairs in prison, you can get the game.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:46
Oh, yeah. By the way, obviously, we don't think that's bad. We're making fun of people making fun of
Unknown Speaker 1:08:56
Yeah. King of the Hill, if you will.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:00
But yeah, the gates feelings. Apparently, they got discharged from the military. And now they're a pastor living the dream.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:09
Like, like they are like a like a
Unknown Speaker 1:09:16
full time pastor. Job.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:19
I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm studying real stuff. He's like a friendly like, gay friendly pastor. Like, he got like converted. Oh, he
Unknown Speaker 1:09:27
wasn't having gay feelings. He's just said that to fucking it's a fucking lie and it's a preacher. So yeah, sometimes preachers things like lying sometimes it's cool but other times it's not you know, like I'm gonna lie to
Unknown Speaker 1:09:43
get out of the fucking milk. Yeah. I want to like
Unknown Speaker 1:09:47
egg his house. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:09:52
this house maybe like a tree in front of his house because I don't want people I don't want him to have to clean it off his house but first two months.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:00
The person that told me I was like, I'm gonna fucking like call the United States government and she was like, you can't say that. I told anybody I was like, okay, but like this person like, but surely it's like a federal crime to like lie about military shit. I mean, I mean the President fucking did it so Yeah, fuck you crusty old man getting away with everything. This guy doesn't man
Unknown Speaker 1:10:33
Um, yeah, so
Unknown Speaker 1:10:35
um Sorry, I just don't know
Unknown Speaker 1:10:40
where to go from here.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:42
Oh, and there was taken across. There was a crusty dog at the dopher doctor's office that I went to. And I'm like, Why is there a dog? Yeah, like, it's a doctor's office, like people could be allergic. Like, there doesn't need to be a dog. And it looked like shit. To me. It didn't even
Unknown Speaker 1:10:57
seem like it was a support dog. He kind of just
Unknown Speaker 1:11:01
didn't even pet it because it was mad. And I wanted to show the nurse like you shouldn't have a fucking dog here. And I will say that about cats too. I mean, like, No, I would no animal. So insane to me.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:11
I mean, like, if it's a vet. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they have their
Unknown Speaker 1:11:15
pets that hang out. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:11:16
you're expected. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:20
Oh, let me clean this dog hair out of your words that you're here to talk about. Like the fuck,
Unknown Speaker 1:11:26
I used to get kind of annoyed when people would bring their dogs on pillows. Same, like, if it's a service animal. Totally fun shit service
Unknown Speaker 1:11:36
animal not a fake one that makes my blood boil.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:42
But, you know, if it's a service dog, there's, they have the little vest thing on or there's some other color some kind of clear indication that said, you know thing, but a lot of times it's just the like, I guess I should just be able to bring my dog everywhere. And
Unknown Speaker 1:11:58
now. It's a dog. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:12:02
it mainly pissed me off because they would use the fuck and some of them would use the bathroom in the store. Yeah, just like pisser poop on the island. Just like, dude, even if you clean that up, that's still fucking gross. We don't clean these floors like that. Like we just dust mop like, push broom. Like, that's all we do. Like, and maybe every once in a while. Like they do the big machine. The same bony fish? Jose Moniz price, I guess but you know, the land Zamboni? Um, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 1:12:39
I just hate the like, emotional support animals and not because I don't think people need them. But I don't like it because you'll just slap a vest on your pet and then they act like shit or you let people pet them. And then when people encounter an actual service dog, they're gonna be like, Oh, I can like pet this dog or whatever. Like no like that dog is working. Like you're fake emotional support shit. I feel like this is like one time that happened at a place I worked at the dog was wearing like a service dog vest. Obviously wasn't. And it was like, like digging it the carpet and they were like, you can pay me one. I was like, no, like, it's a service animal doing its job like,
Unknown Speaker 1:13:21
oh, isn't that yeah, because I'll say from sticking out the carpet. It's definitely yeah, it
Unknown Speaker 1:13:25
was like a fake emotional support dog. But I'm like, that teaches people bad behaviors about actual support dogs. Yeah. And like it takes away from there
Unknown Speaker 1:13:33
because there are people with Yeah, emotional support and other services, but they need and I saw thing to this love. It was like a Karen video. And she was like, spazzing on this chick because she was like, um, so she was blind. And she had a dog and I think it was just like a white lab or something. I can't remember. Or chocolate lab? I don't know. But the lady was like, oh, oh, service dogs are only this color. And she was like, oh, no, they're not just like, I don't even know what color he is because I'm fucking blind. Like,
Unknown Speaker 1:14:05
I've never seen him
Unknown Speaker 1:14:06
before. So like, you know, my service dog like I? I don't know it. mean the Karens are out of control in this country.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:17
I feel like I sound like a Karen I'm not being a Karen I just mean don't bring your shitty dog places when it's not trained and pretend it's something it's not Yeah, it's because it Yeah, it does teach people bad habits. Ever. Thanks sucks. Yeah, at least we got gay feelings. Can you tell someone you have a gay feelings about recently? Have you had any gay feelings? I put you on the spot.
Unknown Speaker 1:14:46
Like I don't I don't think I have. I mean there's women that I have thought like you're you're a hot lady or girl or you know, like chicks just super pretty. Or like, you know, like, yeah, you boobies. Um, but I had a friend a very long time ago. We're still friends. So I mean, I'm, it's not like anything crazy happened. But um,
Unknown Speaker 1:15:10
yeah, she like wrote me a letter about like, start like,
Unknown Speaker 1:15:14
feelings for me and stuff and I was just like, oh, you know, I
Unknown Speaker 1:15:17
still you know, I don't feel that way about girls but like,
Unknown Speaker 1:15:21
can I still really want to be friends with you and stuff? Was that okay or was that weird? That was totally fine.
Unknown Speaker 1:15:25
Like the only thing that felt weird
Unknown Speaker 1:15:30
was kind of like in hindsight weird on hindsight, like I think this was, yeah, this was before she gave me that letter, I think. Oh, like a good bit before. But um,
Unknown Speaker 1:15:51
I was dating this. This one guy who he was my second boyfriend. First two boyfriends turned out gay. No big deal. Like Jamie does everyone around me have wheelchairs? Um, but
Unknown Speaker 1:16:21
Oh, yeah. But yeah, so,
Unknown Speaker 1:16:23
second boyfriend, I was like, okay, you know, I want my first I want to give him like our first kiss for birthday. You know, like, it would be my first kiss. And she kissed people before. So I was like, so she was like, oh, yeah, you know, I can like show you
Unknown Speaker 1:16:43
a moment like that was one of my friends.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:49
And then it was embarrassing because we locked but we locked the bathroom door. Like we were. Back up a little bit. So we're watching LepreCon in the hood for like, we were very, very young. And, um, there was like a few of his guy friends there and I think was just like me and her. And I don't know if there's maybe like one, one other girl there. So like, mean, her went to the bathroom? Because I mentioned this to her. And then we went to the bathroom. And um, so we locked the door and she was sitting on the toilet and she's like, Okay, so my wife. Okay, and then they were like, What are you guys doing? And then they like they hacked the door and I locked it. And then like, she pushed me
Unknown Speaker 1:17:44
and I busted my
Unknown Speaker 1:17:45
ass on the floor of a complicated game. So I mean, maybe you didn't know anything was there? And then maybe that made her realize like, Oh, I'm like, Yeah, but like, technically my first kiss and my just got pushed. Was my gay
Unknown Speaker 1:18:15
the gay guy.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:20
What a confusing time. Yeah. What was your story? Is that shareable? Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:25
So, I mean, I'm married to a dude, but. But
Unknown Speaker 1:18:33
his name is George.
Unknown Speaker 1:18:35
George. But I've never considered myself like, you know, I'm like, whoever I like, like, I like them. You know? Same. So in high school. There's this girl that I was like obsessed with. Really liked her. She would always like, lead me on. But then just always be like, Oh, you're a good friend. And then like, I saw her after high school. This was before I was married. And who
Unknown Speaker 1:19:03
were you like, golf girl fairy tale and be like,
Unknown Speaker 1:19:07
Oh, actually, yeah, I think I was living there doing that at the time. But she, we saw each other and she was like, oh, like, we should hang out and go to rain together, which is a gay bar downtown. And I was like, Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:19:21
I think I've heard of it. I was like, Yeah, let's
Unknown Speaker 1:19:23
do it. I never heard from her again. Again, first, medicine adults. And then I went to my high school reunion and she was there and I just like totally fucking snubbed her. Like, I wouldn't even look at her. Oh, and then like, I told my friends. She was like, can't like I'm overreacting. And then I left. I was like, that's pretty fucked up. Especially when you're an adult to like, lead somebody on just for like an ego boost or whatever.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:54
And just be like, Hey, we have other plans on Tuesday.
Unknown Speaker 1:19:59
Yeah, Just like Oh, I'm Oh yeah, I just made noise. I feel like we,
Unknown Speaker 1:20:05
for some reason, just like yeah, I'm gonna set her up and like stand her up
Unknown Speaker 1:20:14
I think she's married now to to the stupid boyfriend they show us always like I have a boyfriend. I think they got married.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:21
Well, we can make a fake profile and oh yeah, she made sure. Like we're really bad.
Unknown Speaker 1:20:28
I won't actually do it, but it's funny to think about this fucking room that'd be like I'm married now I can No, I don't really I don't feel angry about it anymore. But I was pretty drunk. So I was like, fuck this. You know, the drunk aggressiveness. Yeah, yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 1:20:53
know that happens. Oh, well,
Unknown Speaker 1:20:57
I think our time has come to an end. Close the book. This book. This bridge book has been because it won't close what's going on? Gay feelings. I
Unknown Speaker 1:21:12
need to be a preacher.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:13
cram it down just like America cram that baby back up sorry if we left you off on a sour note.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:28
If you want to like shit on a police car, and like, send us a picture that would be cool or like not saying you do illegal activities
Unknown Speaker 1:21:39
like if you happen to be doing it and have a picture of it.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:43
Yeah, I guess that's incriminating. So maybe don't images Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:21:47
don't do anything but you send us stuff about your therapist or
Unknown Speaker 1:21:54
about your gay feelings.
Unknown Speaker 1:21:55
Yeah. All the time you shut up your chair. Definitely that Yeah. And yeah, let us know what's in your purse VA compliant your town is and what's in your purse?
Unknown Speaker 1:22:08
What about everything
Unknown Speaker 1:22:09
once there was chicken wings in my purse, but we've told that story
Unknown Speaker 1:22:11
before. Um. By the end I'm scared. I'm just funny. Today, we know what to do. I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:38
I don't know how to use a knife.