Commercials, infomercials, and shopping networks cringe galore! Maybe the first of many episodes of this theme?
Commercials, infomercials, and shopping networks cringe galore! Maybe the first of many episodes of this theme?
Alyssa and Jamie throw back about some commercials and infomercials from the days of yore. From our local flavors to Herbal Essences. They also discuss some notable cringe-worthy QVC & CVN incidents.
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
Me and Brandon, we're looking...oh I'm sorry, Carboy Number one, we're at Home Depot to get some stuff. And we found some chainsaw oil that we were looking for. And like we picked it up, and we, like, turn around, because this employee was just like, hey, you guys find what you're looking for? And we're like, yeah, and we go to turn back around, and he just keeps talking to us. He's like, Oh, I see you guys have and he just points out his face. Like the mask points out the mask. You guys have the mask on? Or like, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 0:33
did he not know he did?
Unknown Speaker 0:37
It was incredibly dirty like, I mean, I get the place he works, that probably makes it dirty. But like, it looks like he was wearing it for like a week. And it was like the, like, not replaceable, but the disposable surgical mass. And it was really gross. And then I was like, yep. And he was like, you know, I've been working in retail for however long and you know, it's true. And you know, you got to keep up your immune system. And, like, yeah, and I kept trying not to look at him because my eyes kept getting really big, because I was like, Dude, I want it was just in just awkward. Like, click, the conversation was clearly over and he kept it going.
Unknown Speaker 1:40
Like, have you not been like jaded and you don't hate people? I've worked in retail forever. Like, that's kind of weird.
Unknown Speaker 1:50
It's like an hour. No, he said he worked in retail for a long time. Expect today. More not awkward interaction.
Unknown Speaker 2:01
Maybe you've got his like, talk to your interaction. Just like Hi.
Unknown Speaker 2:07
He sends like, I have to talk like this to you because you're fucking your podcast. Everybody, I'm Jamie. And I'm Alyssa. And. But I have more right in front of me.
Unknown Speaker 2:25
Oh, you're cute. Do you say it cure? oppy
Unknown Speaker 2:28
Karofsky Oh, Ansett croupy. I don't know if that's how you're supposed to
Unknown Speaker 2:31
say it out loud. So I've never known. Um,
Unknown Speaker 2:35
yeah, I always watched like, we had the VHS tapes.
Unknown Speaker 2:38
When I was younger was a green.
Unknown Speaker 2:41
Like a frog. Oh, no, that was Thomas opportunity, though. I think. I think the only colored VHS tapes, I remember is like the Rugrats one. Yeah. collodion. Yeah, those are cool. Um, so we're talking about confusion. I'm trying to think about a segue into like commercials and stuff. Nickelodeon had commercials. And commercials. We're
Unknown Speaker 3:07
doing a TV so today
Unknown Speaker 3:09
Yeah, TV. So
Unknown Speaker 3:11
the episode. So the first thing I have for us that I thought about the other day, are the Herbal Essences commercials. Are you familiar with those?
Unknown Speaker 3:25
Didn't they do like have like orgasms and stuff?
Unknown Speaker 3:31
And I watched a bunch of them and some women were way better. Practice. Just like, ah, but then some of them I was like
Unknown Speaker 3:50
so watched a bunch of them. It seems like they ran from like, early to mid 90s to early 2000s. I couldn't find exact dates. There are a couple of them that actually made me laugh out loud. They're pretty funny. There's this one where this lady is on an airplane and she goes to the bathroom to wash your hair. Yeah, if for some reason there's an intercom in the bathroom. It's just like everybody can hear you poop. But she accidentally hits the intercom button when she's washing her hair. And so the whole plane like here's her and then she comes out with like fresh hair. And that's always how they come out of wherever they are and like so your hair just went from like wet to like perfectly styled.
Unknown Speaker 4:39
Okay, wash it. In airplane,
Unknown Speaker 4:43
bathroom, the grossest place you can be we live tiny thing,
Unknown Speaker 4:49
like, get it wet and then you wash it up and then you just stick it in the toilet and flush it. Without water is blue, isn't it? I mean my hair's blue haired Just keep
Unknown Speaker 5:02
keep your color fresh. She comes out of the bathroom and this old lady goes, could you bring me some of that shampoo? It's got some grip upon there are a couple other that were funny. There's a lady getting her hair washed by all these men because all the commercials are like, they're like dang. shampooing. And this lady goes, I wish I could have an organic experience. Another lady goes, I've never had one. Somehow that lady ends up getting shampoo gang bang by all these guys. And then she holds up a bottle after they're done. And she goes, the bottle says repeat
Unknown Speaker 6:03
which Did you
Unknown Speaker 6:04
ever watch Lizzie McGuire? A little bit, because I think this like everyone learned this from Lizzie McGuire. It's like the bottle says repeat. But you don't actually need to repeat. They just do that to get you to buy more shampoo. True is the cute guy with the nice hair. That's what he said. So
Unknown Speaker 6:24
I remember trying that when I was little and my hair just came out like fucking straw. Yeah, like my hair is really it's always been really dry. So washing it twice. Not a good plan for me. It just stripped like every ounce of moisture.
Unknown Speaker 6:41
Yeah, I didn't even know that was a thing. Like repeat was a thing until until people talking about it. And I was like, Oh,
Unknown Speaker 6:49
one more funny thing about the Herbal Essence commercials. There's a couple ways. They're washing hair. And you know the foam from the shampoo. There's a couple commercials where that gets like flown on
Unknown Speaker 7:06
someone else's face.
Unknown Speaker 7:08
So many serving gets like money shot in the face by the shampoo foam. I don't know how these came out back then. I mean, like, it's obvious what it was a surprise that in the 90s people were like, Okay, sure. Let's do it. Oh, that reminds me I have a change.org petition that I found. Oh, yeah. About herbal essences.
Unknown Speaker 7:36
Related to the commercial. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 7:37
it's a petition. Please remove your recent sexually explicit commercials. And 12 people signed it. And it's just like, nobody else gives a shit. Oh, fuck, accidently click Share this petition. Anything Am I some of the comments. It is uncomfortable and inappropriate sales technique to be played on daytime cable with family.
Unknown Speaker 8:14
Horrible.
Unknown Speaker 8:16
My six year old was asking questions just as tastefulness did they
Unknown Speaker 8:21
wait till they smell like horror? like who are you? Or your horse ableist.
Unknown Speaker 8:33
See,
Unknown Speaker 8:34
Oh, someone named Brandon. Brandon M though so don't think Oh, boy. Yeah, he wrote this sounds very inappropriate for children to hear. So yeah, they they did a remake of the plane commercial in a I think it was 2014 and that's what they're petitioning against.
Unknown Speaker 8:56
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 8:58
Do you? Do you remember that hair brand? Have like the purple kangaroo on it or so Aussie? Yeah. See, I think they also did an airplane commercial. But it wasn't like super sexual. But remember, like, there was like a flight attendant and the little kangaroo had all the products that its pouch like flinging her hair and like so pretty good commercials. But um, yeah, I wonder if any of those people ever saw like, you know, like a Hardee's or Carl's Jr. Commercial because those
Unknown Speaker 9:29
were like I've seen many of those because those are more recent in this area.
Unknown Speaker 9:33
But yeah, like washing the cars and the bikini with a burger like
Unknown Speaker 9:40
That's awesome.
Unknown Speaker 9:43
I think Jessica Simpson did one too. Yeah, but it's just kind of funny. But I have a couple commercials that I was recalling as I was, as I was doing this research. Do you remember the head on apply directly to the point warhead. No. Those were so annoying. From they would it was just this product called head on and it was like oh, what do they call it like a holistic or natural medicines product and it was like it's this like glue stick looking thing that you rub on your head. And they would always just say like, head on apply directly to the forehead head on. Um, let me see if I can find a commercial real quick. Available at Walgreens I've ever seen so fucking annoying. Um, so yeah, there was those commercials that like, were really annoying stick in my head. And then there was this one Build A Bear commercial. That just always, always stuck in my head forever. But it has like a little girl she has like a CD player. And she's sitting on her bed and singing like disco hippie
Unknown Speaker 11:01
on a Saturday.
Unknown Speaker 11:06
And then the mom was like, Hey, come on, let's go and they go to Build a Bear. And it was like when Build A Bear was introducing the lake sound chips. So Lynn she goes back home and she has her little pups bar bunny but sing the same song with her. Second
Unknown Speaker 11:23
rich people stuffed animals.
Unknown Speaker 11:28
Have you ever been to build a bear? No, I've only been there once. And it was with Girl Scouts. And I was building it. We were building bears for the little brother. I don't know. We didn't have like a brother or sister but it was like a YMCA like kids kids thing. So we brought it to them but what's nice is they do a thing where like they put a heart in it. Oh yeah,
Unknown Speaker 11:52
you like hold it in your hands or whatever. And
Unknown Speaker 11:54
you stuffed it in the bear. I'm like he can't see it. Why is
Unknown Speaker 12:00
it just spirit? Duh.
Unknown Speaker 12:04
It's got to be fucked off but yeah, I think like you had some local commercials but
Unknown Speaker 12:13
oh yeah reminisced about you've lived in Austin for a while. You've heard this fucking asshole named Scott elder. I used to listen to the radio a lot when I work nights, and I would just be like happily doing my work and then this fucking asshole would come on this commercials and they were so stupid. His voice
Unknown Speaker 12:40
I don't think I can do it but it's like Hey, Scott. Elder
Unknown Speaker 12:45
Come on. That's definitely not
Unknown Speaker 12:48
the kind of like, nerd like a stereotypical nerd boy.
Unknown Speaker 12:54
Mine's me of Tim from Tim and Eric but like on crack and more annoying is
Unknown Speaker 13:03
he the one with the glasses or the blonde hair
Unknown Speaker 13:05
blonde hair? He now I guess it used to be dream cars Austin so he was always fucking screaming about dream cars Austin and now it's older Mitsubishi is the dealership that guess they like tried to class it up a little bit. Okay, because he was always screaming about how people if you didn't have money, like if you have a job and you have a dime you can drive out today. Always saying shit like that and it's so fucking annoying. So I looked up on YouTube some of his commercials. They're pretty awesome. There's a Pokemon themed one where he dresses up as Pikachu and it's oh no, Scotty mon go because they're trying to do like God. Oh, come on. Man. Go Come on. Go get you car. There's an Elvis one. There's one where he's dressed up and like traditional German attire and he's like holding a weenie dog. I'm gonna allow
Unknown Speaker 14:17
one for I
Unknown Speaker 14:18
don't remember that one was like it showed it on a video but I was just like a preview of it. It was an interview of him being like,
Unknown Speaker 14:27
you know, we're
Unknown Speaker 14:28
like redoing our advertising stuff. And it was just like a little like flash of it. So he's trying to like be class here now. I'm going to
Unknown Speaker 14:39
send you this one to watch. Class A chassis. This is one
Unknown Speaker 14:50
it's listed on YouTube a couple times. One of them is just like dream cars Austin hashtag racist. You want to watch that?
Unknown Speaker 15:02
Only 69 people.
Unknown Speaker 15:06
Yeah, so he's wearing a fucking do rag. He has some black people behind it.
Unknown Speaker 15:12
Like, it's almost like a like a music video.
Unknown Speaker 15:16
Yeah, like there's a couple guys dancing. There's girls that are supposed to be like standing there kind of mean mugging. Like yeah, I'm cool. If you have you watched
Unknown Speaker 15:25
trailer park we've watched her ever he reminds me of fucking J Roc
Unknown Speaker 15:33
there's another one where he's in a pickle costume and it's like, I'm in a pickle driver to go in that one. He actually says something about like, my doctor says heart's gonna explode. I guess he knows he's crazy.
Unknown Speaker 15:49
It's gonna like turn until that fucking movie. Crank
Unknown Speaker 15:56
he's fucking insane. There's another one where they're in the very end like fuckin hazmat suits like Breaking Bad and he's like cooking mask with Walter White YouTube Scott elder and you'll see a lot of
Unknown Speaker 16:14
great does a lot of interesting advertising. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 16:17
Oh, in the most shrill fucking voice you can imagine it doesn't sound as bad in the videos on YouTube. But
Unknown Speaker 16:24
like, on the
Unknown Speaker 16:25
radio, I remember it just being like, like, somebody's like, flicking you in the face. Stop. So annoying.
Unknown Speaker 16:37
Some of the popular local commercials where I was from was this lawyer dude. Morris Bart. If you ever go to like, South Mississippi and Louisiana, like you'll see you'll definitely see billboards for him. And it's funny because whenever we go back home and visit this one restaurant we like to eat out sometimes his office is actually above it. Oh. But yeah, his thing is like, a one call. That's all. One call y'all like one click. That's it. There's always like one liners that are like, just get stuck in your head. Um, but we also had a lot of these rat commercials. It was, which stood for reject all tobacco. And it was just like an anti tobacco campaign. They would also like have I don't want to call it like a street team. But it was like, just like a dance group or something like campaigning groups that it was taught Cringer them they would come around to like all the different schools and do like, like Orman's. Yeah, like different skits and dance routines. And it was just bad. I actually stole one of the posters. I have it somewhere like in a book but um, but yeah, the commercials were so very memorable because they always ended with the rat, the rats name was Terrence or you also went by Terry a lot of times. So he Oh, so it's funny because he was the poster child for this. But it also sounded like he had like a smoking problem. And like, was from Boston. I think Boston accent I don't know why they chose that. But yeah, it was funny because yeah, I would always close out with like, take it from dare somebody. And if you live in Austin, or I guess P Terry's was a Texas thing. Like, all over Texas. There's a burger chain here called P Terry's and so me. I always mean carboy number one are we always like dumb stuff like that.
Unknown Speaker 19:00
My sister in law lives in East Texas. And we went to visit her and they're all these fucking billboards that say Don't mess with me. Instead of mess with me like methamphetamine. And apparently there's such a big meth problem in East Texas. Oh, that's like the teaching school. Like, that's their, like anti drug campaign. And I really wanted a t shirt. So I messaged them on Facebook and they were like, Oh, we don't sell them. But you can get one at one of our events. And I was like, God damn it. Oh, and then my nephew surprised me with his I have his don't mess with me shirt.
Unknown Speaker 19:41
Did you ever have like the DARE program and stuff here? Yeah, I yeah, um, all those campaigns definitely, like terrified me. And like those truth campaigns where it's like the chicks like deflated on the couch. Not just like,
Unknown Speaker 19:54
I'm never gonna do drugs. You haven't been the same since you started smoking pot.
Unknown Speaker 20:00
Oh God, those were so good. Maybe we can do like, talk about those, too. Um, do you have any more commercials to talk about?
Unknown Speaker 20:14
Oh, one thing that popped in my head and you're talking about the lawyer, the BMW Avastin and Mini Cooper commercials, I don't know if they still do them.
Unknown Speaker 20:24
There's this lady they would do. And
Unknown Speaker 20:29
she just used like the most sexual voice possible. She'd be like, experience our passion. Call now. That was like the tagline. And remember, they were doing a mini sales event like a Mini Cooper. And
Unknown Speaker 20:47
oh, like, it's short, fast
Unknown Speaker 20:52
and coming now. Mini Cooper. There's nothing like that. Always just
Unknown Speaker 20:57
like me the change.org petition for that.
Unknown Speaker 21:02
fucking gross like
Unknown Speaker 21:06
ah, yeah, I remember that reminds me of just like whenever I would wake up in the middle of the night when I was younger and it would just be like ads for like, a sex hotline. Watch Spike TV going to bed? And then yeah, I'd always be girls got a while. It's like when I'd wake up. And it's Yeah. And another commercial that I remember a lot. It was more of a infomercial. infomercial, Lee commercial. It was for the euro club. Oh, I'm so glad you don't know about it. Yeah, so in short, it is a golf club that you can pee into. Oh
Unknown Speaker 21:59
so their website says how many times has this happened to you? You're playing 18 holes with your best buddies drinking water, beer, sports drinks, etc. are coming up to the third hole with no restroom in sight. There are no trees or bushes around and you just have to go what are you going to do
Unknown Speaker 22:17
your deck and a golf club? Golf Club
Unknown Speaker 22:23
but Euro club trademark is the discreet sanitary way for your urgent relief oh it's
Unknown Speaker 22:29
like you are Oh yeah. He like he like your
Unknown Speaker 22:36
European and it was created by a Board Certified neurologist so I guess also like to you know, golf and it says to have another one. Oh yeah, it has. It also comes with a privacy shield which is like a towel that goes around your waist. And so you can like cover it up when you just put the club under there and and pee. Okay, the Euro club trademark is intended to eliminate anxiety and any feeling of uneasiness on the course it can be emptied in the nearest restroom or later on when the golfer returns home if you can empty it in the nearest restroom. Why can't you just go to the nearest
Unknown Speaker 23:23
point
Unknown Speaker 23:26
if you have to wait till you get home that's kind of gross to select carry your piece around with you. And at first I thought this was like a golf club but like you would like use the golf with but it's not you know it's just that oh yeah, guess
Unknown Speaker 23:41
what if you hit the ball too hard and all the piece
Unknown Speaker 23:47
um, and let's see. So capacity wise, it holds over half a liter seems like a lot of pee. Yeah, well, it continues to say that's twice the volume commonly urinated. But I don't know if you're out there drinking beers, beers your bottle is you know, um, and I was looking around on the website a little more on the like about part because like, the guy was a doctor. So he like, has the spiel about him and how this is like, healthy for you. I guess. He has this awesome picture. I guess he photoshopped of themself where it's just like him and four different poses with a golf club like hanging out with himself.
Unknown Speaker 24:35
Oh, nice.
Unknown Speaker 24:39
ones in the center channel, you know, like, squatted down and kind of a cutesy pose one arm around them and
Unknown Speaker 24:47
they're all wearing matching outfits for some reason, because
Unknown Speaker 24:51
it's just him in different poses.
Unknown Speaker 24:57
Too busy looking for the picture that I didn't like process that you're saying that that's hilarious.
Unknown Speaker 25:03
Just me and my boy. Um, and it was originally selling for like 30 bucks. But whenever I went and looked at the most recent snapshot on the website, so you can't go buy this now. Like the sale part of the website is down, but I went to the Wayback Machine and found the most recent snapshot. And a single euro Club was going for 4797 Damn. But you can also buy a book of six for 215 for both you and the boys, um, and I was also able to find a couple reviews that way. Todd gave it five stars, and said golfing and ping just got fun and fabulous. Be careful not to cheat your club.
Unknown Speaker 25:51
Chase your club. Oh, no, he's just like, why?
Unknown Speaker 25:55
This means like your dick. Yeah, but
Unknown Speaker 25:58
like, are you sticking it into this? Like fully? Like, how would you chafe I
Unknown Speaker 26:05
assume that they're just kind of like aiming into it, but like that you kind of I'm trying to like, Jamie. I'm trying to demonstrate. I'm and big Brandon. Oh also gave it five stars.
Unknown Speaker 26:25
He says this is the best thing ever. I used to have to piss in a cup because there were no trees. Of course I played on now I can relieve myself without anyone noticing. I only wondered why they made the hope the whole for the penis so big I can fit like five of my penis in the club
Unknown Speaker 26:49
maybe as the small dick in the holes properly sized. I love that comment. Just like the peeing in the cup. Now I can relive myself without no one noticing that people notice somebody that's before.
Unknown Speaker 27:04
Brandon piercing again and then
Unknown Speaker 27:07
just like the whole size is his penis small. Or is the whole too big? Like
Unknown Speaker 27:13
a question? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 27:14
I I'm a big fan of that comment. So big Brandon, if you're listening. Thank you. Yeah, let us know.
Unknown Speaker 27:22
Don't send us the big pig though. Big Brandon. Oh, maybe his screen name is big Brandon. Because he feels like he needs to like make up for for his penis
Unknown Speaker 27:32
size. I can't fit. Oh, yeah, cuz he can fit five of them until the penis club or the the Euro club? To do imagine trying to use that as a woman
Unknown Speaker 27:46
about that. Whenever we would go camping a lot. I had it. Well, I still have it. It's a go girl.
Unknown Speaker 27:52
It's not to say that you might be able to use the Go girl to pee into that. But you actually
Unknown Speaker 27:57
use it smart. Yeah, I used it a couple times.
Unknown Speaker 28:01
Was it helpful?
Unknown Speaker 28:03
I don't remember it was like 10 years ago. I just remember that they told you to practice with it first before like using a while and I definitely got PLM myself. But I think whenever it came down to it and there wasn't a toilet, it was fine.
Unknown Speaker 28:20
Okay, cool. Yeah, somehow I was wondering what that is like, um, how big is like the reservoir? Because I know that like it goes into a reservoir. Then there's a hole it comes out of? And like, what if you pee so fast? It fills up before you can you it's pretty
Unknown Speaker 28:36
big. Okay, I don't know if that would be possible because it is pretty big and you like put it up against you. And it's good. It's good for aim. Because like if you're if you're peeing outside, sometimes it doesn't. The stream doesn't really go where you think it would and depending on how you're like, squatted down at least that's my experience. I haven't paid outside like a ton of time, but
Unknown Speaker 29:06
I only go in pools
Unknown Speaker 29:09
I don't have that problem.
Unknown Speaker 29:14
Okay, Miss IP in the woods. Some of the woods. Some of us we use our Euro clubs. Um, what else do we have?
Unknown Speaker 29:29
Oh, I found a couple products that I wouldn't mind having. Oh, yes, please share. There's one where this guy is watching TV and he goes to reach for the remote and somehow he just like flings this whole bowl of chips on the floor and he's like fuck. Then it shows the lap snack, which
Unknown Speaker 29:49
is it's like a bowl.
Unknown Speaker 29:55
It has two sections but it fits over your knee. Ah, okay. Like each one of the sections is right here so it's more stable so you can like snack and have your bowl balance.
Unknown Speaker 30:07
I feel like I would forget about it and stand out
Unknown Speaker 30:12
there's definitely no perfect solution
Unknown Speaker 30:16
to this problem that everyone has like slinging
Unknown Speaker 30:20
it was like a full thing a Cheetos. He just like another one, it's called the magic tap. It's like a thing that you put into a big jug of liquid. And you can just like put your cup against it and it dispenses it that way. You don't have to pour big things. Ah, so magic tap is listening. I'll take one to two. Yes. Oh, want this one, but had it written down? The comfort wipe did you
Unknown Speaker 31:00
know I was like that's a good solution for long nails.
Unknown Speaker 31:02
Oh, yeah. It is. What do you have on the comfort white?
Unknown Speaker 31:08
That was all I wrote down solution to long nails.
Unknown Speaker 31:12
That one that one at least has a little bit of representation for like, people that would have a hard time wiping like there's an older lady and she's like, it helps you retain your dignity. But most of the other commercials they're just like, we couldn't have a disabled person.
Unknown Speaker 31:33
People like my age that were just like, I just honorees back there.
Unknown Speaker 31:37
Yeah, like I don't, I don't want to cut my own butter. So here's the fucking thing that cuts Pat's of butter. Like, couldn't you show somebody that has like, one arm or something? It would actually be ideal for
Unknown Speaker 31:51
Yeah, or someone with long nails. That's a new target demographic for that product. That's true. Did you come across the teddy bear? No, no, we're looking at a teddy bear. It's about Teddy like tip say seatbelt comfort strap. Oh, but it just you know looks like a bear. But like of course, all the commercials are like, it's by a titty so like it just like zooms in on like, the woman's chest was the bear thing like right there. And it's just, it was just like someone came up with a pun and they just couldn't let it go. And I think you can still buy them. But the pink one was sold out. I don't ever I looked so. Have you
Unknown Speaker 32:40
ever seen the top towel towel? That reminds me?
Unknown Speaker 32:43
Oh, maybe it goes
Unknown Speaker 32:47
like on the boobs? around the neck. That's actually a really good idea. I mean,
Unknown Speaker 32:54
I don't have like
Unknown Speaker 32:55
giant boobs or anything but sometimes if you're like blow drying your hair or something. Yeah. gets hot and
Unknown Speaker 33:01
moist under Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 33:05
We should get some top top towels.
Unknown Speaker 33:07
Let it go. Yeah. And we should also get a did you? Have you watched It's Always Sunny? Uh huh. The deck towel they actually sold? Really? We can get a dishtowel talk to tell them in unison
Unknown Speaker 33:27
Oh, I did find an infomercial item that we had in our house. Oh, yeah. It was the turbo cooker. It was a It kinda looks like a shitty version of the Instant Pot but on the stove, and you can cook like multiple layers of things and whatever. But the lady that sells it, Kathy Mitchell, she also does a infomercials for dump cakes and dump dinners, which are supposed to be like easy things that you just dump in a pot. Yeah, just says dump about.
Unknown Speaker 34:05
Pretty girl. Don't don't.
Unknown Speaker 34:07
And there's this YouTube channel called Djibouti dope. I love they dev over but to her stuff and like other infomercial stuff. It's really fucking funny.
Unknown Speaker 34:18
I haven't seen them in a long, a long, long time. Um, I remember the ones that he did for like the some kind of like toilet one. It was like this lady. She was like my as a lady who likes to take nasty. But it was cool. Um, I showed you that scammer, or that scam bait guy that we watched. Djibouti dubs actually did some stuff with him before I left which is totally random. And I was like, Dude, it's fucking awesome. Um, but yeah, we'll have I need to go back and watch some DVD dubs later today.
Unknown Speaker 34:54
What was the product that y'all had seen on TV products? Yeah, growing up.
Unknown Speaker 34:59
We had a It was this pot, but the lid had like a strainer thing. So like turn it and close it or turn it and open it. And it would also like you could lock the lid. So if you just like boil pasta, then you could lock the lid, take it over the sink and dump all the water out, and then take it back. And like nothing was useful if you've had a bad experience with it, great in
Unknown Speaker 35:28
third degree burns.
Unknown Speaker 35:29
Ah
Unknown Speaker 35:32
sorry, that reminded me of like a the incident Brandon had when he was working over around a fryer as a teenager what
Unknown Speaker 35:41
happened to the fries and
Unknown Speaker 35:43
sort of so he was like cleaning out the fire thing like scraping the sides and then some of the stuff I guess just like plopped in and splashed up and shot all over his hand. And he saw that like, you know, it was like skin kinda pili sort of territory now go the hospital. Damn. His hands totally fine now. It looks. You'd never know.
Unknown Speaker 36:09
Does he have a picture of it when it happened? We could do before and after his Instagram?
Unknown Speaker 36:14
I don't think so. That was before the time of everyone having a camera phone and having to record everything before they get help.
Unknown Speaker 36:26
Show my YouTube audience
Unknown Speaker 36:28
before Jackass was super cool. And you know, as required or sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Where? And I feel like we can't really talk about like info info commercials infomercials without bringing up a call me now. Do
Unknown Speaker 36:49
I feel like we're fucking Michael Scott
Unknown Speaker 36:55
hot hot hot
Unknown Speaker 37:00
like three beads
Unknown Speaker 37:08
Yeah, so I know that she was kind of scammy and stuff. I didn't do like tons of research on it. So I don't know how much of a scammy person she was or anything. But I did find a she voice. Auntie Paulette in Grand Theft Auto Vice City. Which random played but I thought that was pretty random.
Unknown Speaker 37:33
Like in her real voice because she's not it was a Jamaican right. Ah, so I the thing I came across said she wasn't. She was faking that too. But I didn't really look deeper. Yeah, I feel
Unknown Speaker 37:43
like I've gotten like a mix of thing. Like I'm gonna mix up stuff that's like her family's Jamaican whatever. But I don't know. Those articles that I read were like, had that misinformation. If that is not the case. Like if she's not Jamaican. And I tried to Google like is what's her real name is Yuri, Bill Harris, actually Jamaican. And like, every, like I found some stuff where some people are like, her accents totally fake. And like, she's never talked about that. Like that around me. Some other actresses and stuff would say, um,
Unknown Speaker 38:18
was another Ilaria Baldwin situation.
Unknown Speaker 38:24
Something that makes me lean a little more towards maybe she is not actually. Um, or maybe she doesn't actually have an accent. Um, she can still be Jamaican without an excellent. Um, but uh, she was like an actress and stuff before and she opened this like, acting thing with her partner. So I was like, oh, so she has like an acting background. What sounds perfect. This Cleo character. Yeah, no. Um, so, so yeah. I also found that I don't know if this live broadcast happens. I sounded like it did not. But uh, the TV station of fuse that like music TV station. They were trying to do a thing to have a I'm just gonna read this article from Daily News From November 30 2003. So fuse recently signed up as spokeswoman one televangelists Tammy Faye messenger. Formerly Miss Jim Bakker to cable porn Princess robbing fired and three year Harris, the actress who played portrayed psychic Miss Cleo before the Federal Trade Commission set down her 495 A minute phone line. Much Money button. I mean, like why would they pick those three people that's like a televangelists. A poor doctor. dress and a person who pretends to be a psychic.
Unknown Speaker 40:06
I would say if I had to choose an order. First the televangelists. They're probably scamming people. Yeah. Second, Miss Cleo, third porn. How can you scan scam people porn?
Unknown Speaker 40:18
Well, I don't think you can, you know, you see everything that you get.
Unknown Speaker 40:22
Unless it's like charging the credit card for like twice as much or something.
Unknown Speaker 40:25
Yeah, or setting unrealistic expectations. And then it continues to say, and so I don't think it happens. It's as a fuse execs had hoped that all three ladies would take part in a live broadcast at fuses street friend studio on Seventh Avenue. But now we hear the monumentally mess massive, massive. Yeah, but whatever the televangelists lady refused to be in the same room as the Miss Cleo lady or miss Harris. Whoever plays Miss Cleo. She regards the Caribbeans Queen psychic stick I like as contrary to Christian Molly shuffle. But you gotta stick to you. HARRIS I plan to do a live long distance readings of celebrities as Britney Spears, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Oh, always. When I think of Joanna Lopez always think of a South Park when he has like the Jennifer Lopez hand thing. It's funny. Um, even though the stars weren't involved in the show, Tammy Faye, also known as Tammy Faye knew Miss Cleo was also going to be in the ads and she refused to meet her. So both the Christian lady and the porn lady were like, fuck this lady. Um, so you know, they hold the same values, Christians and porn, porn stars. And something else I also realized when looking at this Miss Cleo stuff, I didn't realize paper call and like pay per view was pay pa y dash P er dash call
Unknown Speaker 42:11
or view? Yeah, took me a while to realize that too,
Unknown Speaker 42:14
because I always just heard it paper, paper. Okay, like paper like you write on paper, but being held out. I feel like an idiot.
Unknown Speaker 42:24
That has happened to me so much growing up in Texas, like water burger, like water. Um,
Unknown Speaker 42:36
I'll be sure to share more of those moments as I come across them. And sadly, miss. Oh, so in 2005 she also used the Miss Cleo character for ads and Uncle Mel's used cars in Florida commercial. And so I guess the more is I'm reading about this, I guess like the Jamaican accent thing probably was fake. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I lean towards it is but I also admit that I didn't do like my due diligence and like deep research because I was researching all of this other stuff.
Unknown Speaker 43:13
Um, tell your friends about this podcast, so it can be our job. Yeah, we can really give you good Miss Cleo Reese.
Unknown Speaker 43:18
Yes, yes, we'll do like a whole to
Unknown Speaker 43:22
talk about Miss Cleo.
Unknown Speaker 43:28
Sadly, she died from cancer and oh shit. July 2016. To 53 I feel like I kind of just shoved that in there.
Unknown Speaker 43:36
She die. She dies.
Unknown Speaker 43:37
Um
Unknown Speaker 43:40
but yeah.
Unknown Speaker 43:43
I don't I don't really know of like many other like TV or like infomercial kind of personalities that stuck out I mean, of course there was like a little Slap Chop guy and Billy Mays, but write a little bit down on. Oh, really? Tell me more. Tell me more.
Unknown Speaker 44:02
That song is very rapey
Unknown Speaker 44:06
Yeah. God Yeah, just did she put up a fight? No, smack that bitch. Dude, grease.
Unknown Speaker 44:15
That was one of my favorite movies growing up and when you watch it again.
Unknown Speaker 44:21
Yeah, like I was listening to a What's that song? The Hopelessly Devoted song? When I was little, I was listening to it now and I was like, ah, we shouldn't just be Hopelessly Devoted to people that treat us like shit.
Unknown Speaker 44:40
Speaking of people treating people like shit. This is a ShamWow guy Vince Shlomi
Unknown Speaker 44:49
also does the Slap Chop, right? Okay, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 44:52
I didn't write down anything else he did. But this article came from six south in Florida.
Unknown Speaker 45:00
a news website
Unknown Speaker 45:03
Vince invited a sex worker named Harris for street six
Unknown Speaker 45:10
street sex straight oh I think is a weird like man nation site I
Unknown Speaker 45:15
guess and the article says at the low introductory rate which I thought it was kind of funny that they did it that way but like some of the other stuff they said in the article like how they talked about the woman I was like, pretty fucked up. But I guess the the slam chop bitch tried to TONGUE KISS Harris which maybe they hadn't agreed upon is like a thing that they were gonna do pretty woman shit. Yeah. And then she bit his tongue.
Unknown Speaker 45:54
So altercation and then a couple months after that occurred. Billy Mays, the Oxy cleaned guy died of they said that the number one cause was heart problems, but it was made worse by cocaine. And he had a lot of other stuff in a system too. Oh, so this is
Unknown Speaker 46:13
in line two. I thought that, like he was on a plane and then like a piece of luggage fell on his head and then he died a few days later. We're now I'm like, another celebrity. I mean, no, yours is probably right.
Unknown Speaker 46:31
I just I mean, he was always screaming in the commercials. That makes sense. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 46:36
Yeah. I wonder if maybe that was just something that they said like at the time, like a PR kind of thing.
Unknown Speaker 46:44
She was like, Oh, well on his head. Right.
Unknown Speaker 46:55
Now I know how I'm gonna tell my kids like their dog, right. Oh, no, he went on a trip honey. Trying to get a suitcase down. Breaks Oh, yeah, I remember. I remember when he passed away. And I also remember when Vince says slap chopped that check.
Unknown Speaker 47:29
Yep, I didn't read much about like, what happened after hopefully they fucking fired him. But who knows people are evil. He could have kept doing it for a long time. I forgot to look at that. But she looks like she thought back though, because there's a picture of armor. I look pretty beat up so good for her.
Unknown Speaker 47:47
Oh, you know, I remember seeing that. But man, this was picked up. Fuck that guy. Yeah, I'm glad she. And I have some, like QVC and CBN cable value network
Unknown Speaker 48:06
is CVN like a newer one, or I think
Unknown Speaker 48:09
it's an older one. I think it was just like, if you didn't have I think it was just like a competitor to keep, I don't know if they like focus on different products or what, but it seemed like they had a really big mismatch mismatch of stuff. Um, so each network both had a ladder fall incident. So one was a this guy was he was demoing this. It's called tell us tell step. It's a 12 and a half foot telescoping ladder. And he was a demoing, just like cleaning a window above like a entry door for a house. And it was weird, like, it's going fine. And it looks like he tries to like step down, and then just like totally misses the step, waiting to it, and you just fall straight down. And then it just like cuts to some other people like, technical difficulty. And there's a caller on the phone at the time, too. And it was funny, because whenever he fell, the caller goes, Oh, and that has never happened. And the host is just like, I don't know, our floors are pretty slippery over there. Oh, it looks like he's moving now. And then the one on CVN was the flexo ladder. And it's so dumb. It's like a ladder that comes maybe about like four feet higher or something. And then it goes across. So it's kind of like a mini jungle gym kind of looking situation. So you you set it up and then you can like walk across it. Oh, um, and when the guide demos, he says, and this is tough it is. Listen, to give you an example say I have to get up here and paint a wall. I tell you it's very safe and dirty. And as he's saying that, like he climbs to the top of it and like the center of it like wobbles a little bit means like, oh, no, no, it's fine. See, now it's locked into place. And then he's like, climb across it, of course, fucking collapse. And, and then it like, goes to a different screen where it's showing like images of the product and stuff. And he's like, Actually, I didn't have it locked. Once you lock it, you're okay, but it's very safe to operate. So continue to call for and, here I can probably send you a picture of of this one.
Unknown Speaker 50:45
I liked it. He's wearing a suit.
Unknown Speaker 50:49
Feels professional. I just pictured it
Unknown Speaker 50:51
being like a handyman type of situation, but it's just the guy in a suit.
Unknown Speaker 50:55
Oh, yeah. No, he's pitching it. He wants people will buy this unsafe law. Um, and there's also, this one's actually a pretty well known one. It was on QVC. And this guy was a showing off this little like Kodak Easy Print camera with a printer. And he grabs this like poster board picture and puts it up in front of them. And it's a huge picture of a butterfly. Yeah. He's like, you know, the picture of the horse I was showing you earlier. Here it is blown up. And then he just proceeds to like, describe it as a horse and point, like, look at the tail and the teeth and it's like a butterfly. Um, and then, as he's describing it, the producer, he goes by producer of terror crates. Kate's just told me this isn't a horse. That's a butterfly. Yeah, definitely. But actually, it may in fact be a moth. And continues talking about moss dude.
Unknown Speaker 52:04
Um, and let's see. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 52:11
Man, there's, there's all I mean, there's just a few of these. They're just good. So there's this guy, Nick Chavez. He's like doing hair stuff. And it's funny because love a customer calls him on the phone. He goes, Do you like my plump and think? And she's like, Oh my god, I love it. And then he gets excited and runs towards the camera. And he's like, yeah, and then turns back around to run to the model who's doing the hair on and then I he trips, some balls, and he's just like, Oops, I found my booty. And the other goes, lady, they just keep talking about. She's like, I told him he was gonna fall in. Yeah. Yeah. And let's see, there's two. I have two more. Sorry, my cheeks are starting to hurt. Um, there's this one with the QVC with like a Thomas word. Have you seen that one?
Unknown Speaker 53:05
Oh, God, this sounds familiar. But I don't remember exactly. I haven't.
Unknown Speaker 53:08
Yeah, so the guy demoing it. He like hits it on the table. And to like, he's like, Yeah, it's really durable and stuff and hits it on the table. Snaps because it's really shitty product. And then it hits on the the tip that snipped off the chest. And he immediately just kind of like, you know, went down kind of like behind the display. And he's just kind of sitting there kind of like, you know, oh, oh, yeah. The tip that got me good. No, no one does. No one's doing anything. Oh, I think I even timed it. Um, no one really does anything. I don't know if everyone's stunned or confused or what but after about 17 seconds, a guy walks a long time. Yeah. He walks out and gets behind the display of swords and just like calmly and awkwardly says right now he may need emergency surgery in the studio. Emergency sir. I'm someone on Reddit referred to that guy as an adult Bobby Hill, which is like exactly how I would describe
Unknown Speaker 54:21
and I didn't really find anything about the aftermath. I couldn't find it. But whenever I was talking to Brandon about it carboy number one, he's, he was like, oh, yeah, I think I remember like, like, I was like totally fine. And like, back to doing the ads the next day and stuff. So um, and I think my favorite one. This was one that I had actually never heard of before. It was on CBN. So for some reason, they're demoing like a poncho and jumper cables. And, like together separate together. Oh, like they're just selling them at the same time, I guess. So Coleen Lopez, she's like standing between the setup. It's like a two. It's like two stands. Each one has a car battery on it, and the jumper cables are attached to them. And then you know, she's like holding the poncho. And she's like, demoing the poncho or whatever. And then like I started talking about the jumper cables. So he she puts the puncher down. And she takes off the cables, and then puts them on the other way. What? And it just sparks like crazy. And then why would she do that? Like, oh, god, yeah, so she swapped the terminals and started like a little fire. It sparked and she like immediately left and then like, the camera zooms in on the terminal, then it starts smoking. And it just gets like a lot of smoke here. And then like it zooms out, she's not there, and there's just like a huge cloud of smoke. And it's just, um, it's just funny just how like, commonly it kind of happens to or not commonly, but when you just see it unfold, you're just like, No, no. Why did no one like, tell her to stop? I don't know, someone
Unknown Speaker 56:18
off screen could have easily been like, Stop.
Unknown Speaker 56:23
Don't do that shit. I'm
Unknown Speaker 56:26
here even putting jumper cables on the right way is fucking terrifying.
Unknown Speaker 56:31
Dude, it is I always um, every time I do it, I always Google it. Just to make sure I do it correctly. Maybe if I was if it was something I was doing, like a few times a day every day. I'd be more comfortable with it. But like, yeah, no, something like that. Just take the extra five minutes to just make sure you're doing it correctly. I feel like you always have to worry the most when you're you feel like you're confident in something. Yeah, that's when you Buck up. So never be confident. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 57:03
doubt everything you do every second of the day. It's what works for us. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 57:08
I've made it this far on that. Um, but yeah, that's all I have for like the QVC announcements but um, you know if you guys have any infomercials or weird QVC incidents that you remember when you were a child, please write us in and we'd love to talk about it. We're going to have another episode on this stuff. So
Unknown Speaker 57:32
yeah, TV stuff. I mean, there's like news fails game show. Like the Wheel of Fortune like fuck me in the ass tonight one or whatever you remember that? Oh, no. It was like luck be a lady tonight was supposed to be the puzzle and somebody says like some weird shit.
Unknown Speaker 57:57
Oh my god. Oh, um, so yeah, some awesome stuff like that. Please. Um, and also don't forget to like, subscribe, comment rate, whatever your podcast platform has.
Unknown Speaker 58:18
Let us know if you want stickers. She can put them all over your stuff. And yeah, help us we
Unknown Speaker 58:23
can send you multiple so you don't have to commit. Yep. And you can also follow us on Instagram Twitter.
Unknown Speaker 58:31
What's the other one Facebook
Unknown Speaker 58:35
that's nervous laughter podcast at all and all of them except for Twitter. social site social life pod. It's nervous. Yeah, and that's it for today. We are turning the TV off now. Click click
Unknown Speaker 58:54
Buy
Unknown Speaker 59:02
think I should move it up a little closer? Oh, yeah, sorry. Definitely. Just like Jamie, thanks so much. There was a Oh