New year New You - New Job? It’s an interview themed episode! Soak in the anxiety of interview stories that you can laugh at, too!
Alyssa talks about a scary accidental drinking of a rando’s soda at the beginning of the pandemic, which reminds Jamie about some cigarette can & spittin’ bottle memories. Childhood memories!
The ladies talk about various interview stories that may give you anxiety, make you cringe, but hopefully - most of all - laugh. Interviews suck, let’s laugh about it!
They also finally talk about when Jamie cat sat & had to go under Alyssa’s bed. Spoiler: both parties were anxious about it!
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
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Unknown Speaker 0:01
When I was still working at the blood center, there was a girl that came over there to work. I don't know if somebody was off or she was working in somebodies place. So we had Caffeine Free Diet Coke for the blood donors because you're not supposed to have caffeine after you donate blood. So I was really, really tired one day. And I'm like, I know it doesn't have caffeine, but maybe if I drink one, my brain will be tricked into thinking it has some caffeine because it's coke. Oh, the old good old placebo.
Unknown Speaker 0:35
Yeah. I'm trying to placebo myself. So I'm drinking.
It sounds like the carrot dildo thing
I'm trying to carry a dildo myself, drinking this diet coke. And I'm really bad about like just walking around and putting things places and then not really remembering.
Unknown Speaker 1:15
So the girl that was working there, I guess she had a diet coke too. And I didn't realize that. So this was like fucking pandemic, like a couple months in before we really think about it. And I pick up this drink and I drink some and I go to set it back down. And I'm like, that feels a lot emptier than mine. And I look over and I see my coke over there. And I realized that I drank this random girls drink at the beginning of the pandemic.
Unknown Speaker 1:46
was a a co worker or a patient?
Unknown Speaker 1:50
coworker, but I didn't know her at all. Yeah, never worked with. Sorry, I feel like I keep talking over you.
Unknown Speaker 1:57
No, you're good. I'm just like you. Ahhhh, that's all I'm doing.
Unknown Speaker 2:03
And then I found out that that was her last day. So like, if she gets sick, then I won't know and she'll be moved away.
Well, then that's good
Or I mean, like if I get sick from her, like, gross drink.
Unknown Speaker 2:15
Gotcha. Yeah, I drank after a stranger. It's the beginning of the pandemic. super gross.
Unknown Speaker 2:21
That's terrifying.
Unknown Speaker 2:24
Did you like quarantine yourself after that? Or like take tests for like, what did you do
Unknown Speaker 2:30
I don't think tests were really a thing yet. Like, I had a friend that got COVID Early on, and like she couldn't find a test. It was just kinda like, well, I guess I'll just wait and see. I was fine, but ugh.
Unknown Speaker 2:54
Oh, welcome to nervous laughter podcast. Welcome. I'm Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 2:59
I'm Alyssa. Whoo.
Unknown Speaker 3:01
Dirty drink drinker.
Unknown Speaker 3:05
Oh, you're doing it right now.
Unknown Speaker 3:08
This is mine though. Unless you got the same thing. Drag it down to the same level and then put it over here. So now I have
Unknown Speaker 3:14
this energy drink for women.
Unknown Speaker 3:18
Girls Only.
Unknown Speaker 3:19
It's a very beautiful cosmic Star Dust by Aulani. Lonnie Zoo. Zoo. Zoo. I think I'm thoroughly good. Your your SOTA story, we're just reminded me whenever I was little, I would always just drink other people's drinks and stuff. But also, my parents were pretty heavy smokers who smoked inside the house. So yeah. For those of you that don't know, soda cans are also very popular ashtrays. So, you know, and for spitting chewing tobacco. I'd also did that for a hot minute too. So yeah, um,
Unknown Speaker 4:04
what did it taste like? Do you remember? Was it the cigarette can or the spit? Can
Unknown Speaker 4:10
I've, I've accidentally drank from bowls.
Unknown Speaker 4:12
Which one's better?
Unknown Speaker 4:15
I would say the cigarette ones better because it's like, you know, there's like a little I think they usually leave like a little bit of coke or something in there. And though Yeah, it's just like a cigarette, some ashes. But then the spit cans just like empty with spit. Like, um, and I don't know. I don't know if they do this in Austin. I haven't realized it. But in Mississippi, it seemed to be a common thing for people to just bring their spit and bottle to grocery stores and stuff and then they just like leave it on the shelf. Somewhere in the parking lot. Yeah. So you just like go to the store. It's just like normal to see just like a soda bottle with chewing tobacco spit That fucking vial. Yeah, it's it's pretty gnarly.
Unknown Speaker 5:03
It's bad enough if you like, carry one around, you know? And yeah, see through the bottle, but just leaving it places.
Unknown Speaker 5:11
Oh, and people would bring it to school too. They'd like, yeah, kind of like pull it out of their book bag and try to like sneak a sneak a spit. So there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Um, yeah, so. But the topic of today's episode is kind of based around interviews. We've been kind of talking about doing this episode for a little bit. I've been doing some interviews lately. So it kind of got me like really wanting to do it. So I just went through a series of interviews with the list one place, and the whole setup is already anxiety inducing, because it's like, basically like 45 minute back to back. Oh, whiteboarding interviews, which if you don't know what whiteboarding interviews are, it's like? Well, it's a little different now, because all of them are online, but you just have like a shared whiteboard or a Google document or something. And then they're like, hey, solve, write code to solve this problem. And then they have to, like, watch you. Watch you solve it, which is already like, no.
Unknown Speaker 6:27
I'm so
Unknown Speaker 6:31
nothing like super cringy happened or whatever. But I definitely kept like freezing up a lot. And it was funny, because at the beginning of one of them, they usually jump straight into the question, but at the beginning of one of them, the guy was like, oh, yeah, you know, let's do introductions and stuff upfront. And so he just like, came to me. He was like, Yeah, go ahead, and just like, Okay, my name is Jamie. And then I just was like, okay, hold on, I need to just gotta like, help. My face was like, I just need a second. to regroup. I'm so nervous. I can't even like talk about myself. But there's that's my name. Um, so yeah, that's about how almost all of my interviews go. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 7:21
always felt unprepared. Even if it's the most simple question. I'm like, oh, fuck,
Unknown Speaker 7:26
yeah. What was your first job? What car do you drive?
Unknown Speaker 7:32
Which actually happened to me? No idea.
Unknown Speaker 7:40
Um, and so that's a little similar to like, the interview, like my first interview, and like the science field, um, my first internship interview, I was emailing with the person to set it up. So like, you know, they read my resume. We're just conversing over email. And so we've seen each other's names a lot. And like, we already know, we're vaguely familiar with each other. And so I had to email him when I got there. So we could open the door because they had a card system. So he opens the door. And then I just like, I was really nervous. And so just immediately, like, I have to introduce myself, so I just like go to shake his hand or like, Oh, Hi, I'm Jay. We, um, I'm Jamie Thompson. Nice to meet you. Oh, what you already know my name because we've been emailing and he was sold on door open. Just, I mean, that wasn't like that bad. But he was just like, yeah, it's okay. You could tell I was really nervous. And just like,
Unknown Speaker 8:44
like, I always have a hard time gauging when to do things. Yeah. Like, I've been walking a lot around the neighborhood. And I never know when to greet someone like how close you're supposed to get. And then it feels weird when you can see them from far away. And I'm like, where do I look like? I told us to carboy number three, and he was like, I mean, I don't I've never really thought about it. I'm like, I was like, what? Whenever they can hear you talk? Fine. Like I usually talk to quiet. I feel like I scream on the podcast, but in person. I kind of talk quiet. Sometimes people don't hear me and then I have to repeat myself. I hate it.
Unknown Speaker 9:28
No. Yeah. Like I thought kind of quiet too. And so sometimes, like when we incorporate number one, get home, I'll be like you didn't. I'll say something. It's like I didn't hear you say that. It was like I said it like four times. You're like you're too quiet. You have to like get my attention. He's like, you mumble too much. And I'm like, when and how to listen to that. I don't know. I'll go from very quiet to like, getting really excited and just like full blast and then I'll just mumble to like yeah, Um, maybe I can start a mumble rap career soon. And whoa, whoa, for some reason, I was trying to open back up my notes, but it opened my resume. Oh, yeah. So at my first programming job, this wasn't my interview. But my two bosses were interviewing for a fourth team member. And so they do a lunch interview. So it's kind of a behavioral, just like, How are you, I guess, are at a restaurant. So I recommended the sky from Diamond High School with I didn't really know that well, but he kind of taught himself some programming and stuff. He told me and so I sent his stuff along to them. And they do this interview, and they said that the guy was just kind of awkward the whole time. And he did not order any food. Oh, no. So like, they ordered food and then your the waitress gets to him. He doesn't order anything. So like they're eating and interviewing him. And he's just like, sitting there sweating and like drinking water. And yeah, they said it was just really,
Unknown Speaker 11:08
man. Yeah, I hate having to do things like that. eating in front of people and trying to talk and yeah, make an impression, then you inevitably choke on something.
Unknown Speaker 11:23
How embarrassing just but if someone else jokes, and you can do the Heimlich maneuver. Oh, really? impression? Um,
Unknown Speaker 11:34
yeah, I can't, um,
Unknown Speaker 11:36
I, I don't. I already don't really like eating in front of people a ton. Like, it's okay. But I was just eat like way smaller portions and like, I actually do like, behind closed doors. Knowing
Unknown Speaker 11:55
a cup of soup meal for family of four.
Unknown Speaker 12:02
I can't wait for them to leave so I can eat more food.
Unknown Speaker 12:08
But yeah, so that's, uh,
Unknown Speaker 12:11
that's just a little bit of awkwardness that I've had in interviews. And I had this one experience with this pretty aggressive guy. I'm just gonna, like, read what I typed up. Um, so there was a startup, it wasn't quite off the ground, but they were still, like, they were still getting their website together and stuff. So they were like, super fresh. The owner reached out to me, and he was like, Hey, let's just do a quick 15 minute introduction call. So I was like, Cool. I'm down for that. So we do the call talk for a little bit. And then he's like, Oh, by the way, like, I have my lead engineer here on the call. Can we do you want to do? Or can we do some technical questions, which is like, first off pretty douchey? Because I wasn't even like client for the call. And like, both like timewise and content wise. So like, I was just like, oh, okay, you know, like, I can't just say, No, I'm not gonna answer your question. So the very first thing the engineer does is be a huge dick to me about how I put HTML on the list of programming languages, which is totally dumb, because HTML stands for hypertext markup language. And while it's not like Python, and stuff, it's still like, a language that you learn and build stuff with. And there's nowhere else to put it on your resume. Like, it just kind of fits there, you know. Um,
Unknown Speaker 13:44
so he was a huge douche about
Unknown Speaker 13:46
that, which like, made no sense to me. And then he also asked me a bunch of super obscure questions about JavaScript that was like, why would anyone even just like, have that memorized? Or like, I don't know, just based off of just like, the questions they asked me, I was like, I never want to work with this person is JavaScript.
Unknown Speaker 14:09
Is that kind of like an older thing? Not as relevant? I don't know. No.
Unknown Speaker 14:15
So JavaScript is super relevant. It's, I guess, I'll call it the language of the web. So like, most of what you see in a browser is HTML and JavaScript. And then there's some sometimes they'll connect to different servers or a back end that uses a different language or other stuff. Um, that's my high superduper. High level low description.
Unknown Speaker 14:42
Um, and, okay, yeah, so
Unknown Speaker 14:47
and so it's just it's really dumb when when people ask really obscure questions about like languages and stuff like that, because a lot of times when you're programming you're just gonna like Google stuff anyway. Yeah, you're just look
Unknown Speaker 14:58
up. Yeah. So It's not like
Unknown Speaker 15:02
there's some super obscure stuff you might use, like, twice in your career, and he was asking about that. And I'm like, Dude, come on. Um, and I think I had some of them, right. But yeah, they were just really ridiculous questions, and I got serious, small pinner energy from my guy. Um, and then the owner had emailed following up, like asking about doing another interview. Yeah, no, yeah. And I politely declined. I was like, oh, you know, I don't, I don't think so. I'm gonna kind of pursue some other stuff. But then he kept like, emailing me back trying to like, push about it. And then finally, I was just like, okay, honestly, the engineer guy you had on the phone. So like a huge, he was just a rude jerk. And I really, like, never want to work with someone like you. And it's easier to do an email. Yeah. And then he, he, like, made up an excuse for it. It was like, oh, you know, you wouldn't be working with him or something like that. And just like, kept trying to keep going. And I was just like, No, I just didn't even respond.
Unknown Speaker 16:15
Yeah. Yeah, taking the red flag. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 16:20
I was just like, yeah, no, fuck, fuck that play. Oops. So I know you have a interview aggressor story. Oh
Unknown Speaker 16:29
my gosh. Yeah, this was probably in 2018. Oh, pretty recent. Yeah, pretty recent. Um, I've done so many different jobs like, worked at the funeral home. Did retail stuff. Renaissance lady I am. I worked at a doctor's office. And then I got into phlebotomy stuff. So this was in between the optometrist office and the phlebotomy stuff, okay. And I didn't really know what I wanted to do. What's like the theme of my life? So I'm looking around for different things and just applying to a bunch of jobs. Because I had worked with this girl optometrists office those a fucking bitch. And I just laughed about having another job because it was a hostile
Unknown Speaker 17:22
work environment. But, um, so I replied to this ad, and I don't remember exactly what it said. But it kind of sounded like just a basic like,
Unknown Speaker 17:40
I don't know, admin job or something that I could do at a desk. Oh, yeah. I'm like, Okay, this is cool. I gave me the job, whatever. So I go to the interview. And it was hard to find had parking and parking garage and then you know, go find this building and it was stressful already.
Unknown Speaker 18:00
Relate? Yeah. Oh, no.
Unknown Speaker 18:04
I I thought you said relate. Really? Did you wind up being? No, I'm insanely early to things like sit in the waiting room. Finally. They call me back. And the sky, the interviews me, I swear to God, he's coked up. He's just like, red in the face. Just so much energy talking about all this stuff. And like, being a go getter. And he needs me to be a go getter. I don't even know what this job is for. Like, I don't want to be here. I don't know why you're yelling at me. Like, what the fuck is going on? And finally, I guess I just asked him what the job was for. And it was for, like those people that stand inside of the grocery store. And they're like, Hey, do you want to switch to 18 T? Oh, okay. Like, oh, like, I don't want to fucking do that. And I was like, Okay, thanks. And I left and they followed up with me. And I was like, I literally didn't even know what this job was for. I have no idea. Why have I applied? Like, I don't want to do this. Like, honestly, it was a total waste of time.
Unknown Speaker 19:24
I always try to like, really avoid those people when I go to the store. Yeah, it's like, I guess it's kind of the same, like you're talking about when you're walking towards people like, what am I supposed to do? I always just kind of like, look down and just kind of focus on the ground and keep going. Brandon, someone's better at dealing with that stuff. To me. He's just like, No thanks. There's something so assertive about his, the way he says no, like people just like, again, see, they just back off and was like, how, how can I do that? Like I need to learn.
Unknown Speaker 19:57
I get good at that whenever I started working At the mall, you know, because there's always people standing in the middle of the mall area handing out show. Yeah. And get it done. Because they'd be like, No, thank you and then they keep on and I just feel like you're fucking dead to me.
Unknown Speaker 20:16
Like, it's like, no, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 20:21
I always feel bad because like, as I'm walking away, they're like, man, man. Like,
Unknown Speaker 20:27
I can't I hate that shit.
Unknown Speaker 20:33
That was like the donation things that are like, when they set up outside of like, a grocery store or whatever. And I'm just like,
Unknown Speaker 20:40
Michaels is one of the few places that I seem to go. And they always have people doing like the anti bullying. Like a huge big finger like no thanks. But what's some of that shit? I'm like, I don't know how much money actually goes to it. So I want to look it up first, because it could just be these like random ass people were like, do you have Venmo? I'm like, I'm not using like, Venmo shit, like, no way.
Unknown Speaker 21:07
Well, and um, so one time was really weird spot. Some people were set up outside of PF Changs. And I went to go, just pick up some food. And I got suckered by the table of people, and I just want her like, donated like 25 bucks or whatever, so I can get away. But then it got flagged by my card stuff. So I was like, maybe that was kind of a scammy thing. And so now I just absolutely never donate. Or do I just never do that if it's a table setup, unless it's Girl Scouts, but yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:54
It's an easy exchange. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:57
Man, even they're
Unknown Speaker 21:58
harder to say no to you now because they're like, I have a square for your credit card. Like, damn it.
Unknown Speaker 22:05
Yeah, that was a nice excuse to use for.
Unknown Speaker 22:11
The next thing I have written down.
Unknown Speaker 22:16
I think this was this wasn't very long ago either. But I do this place.
Unknown Speaker 22:26
And it was kind of like a lab. I don't remember exactly what they did. But basically, I'd be getting to some checking them in sending them wherever they needed to go or something really basic like that.
Unknown Speaker 22:40
Like, oh, I'm sorry, like, tubes filled with things as it's not your phlebotomy job.
Unknown Speaker 22:45
Yeah. Like, I think I was working at the plasma center when I applied there.
Unknown Speaker 22:48
Okay, so tubes of human liquid. Yeah, that's probably not the focus. Let's continue. Sorry.
Unknown Speaker 22:56
I don't really remember what the tubes were filled with. But I think it was like sample shit like that. Which I'm just realizing now what's probably cool that I didn't get back probably be like handling tubes of COVID liquid on myself.
Unknown Speaker 23:14
Just like walking across a lab with like tubes full of blood and just like slip on a banana peel or something. Whoops.
Unknown Speaker 23:21
Luckily, they're plastic. Now I've dropped. They used to be glass. I would have been fucked if I worked with glass tubes.
Unknown Speaker 23:29
Okay, that's the innovation that I'm not familiar with. Cool. Yeah. Hello, scientists so smart.
Unknown Speaker 23:38
I went to the interview, and I was interviewing with one person. And I felt like I was doing pretty good.
Unknown Speaker 23:48
And then she's like,
Unknown Speaker 23:49
I'm gonna go get the team that you would be working. Like five fucking tea. Whoa, yeah. Is she left? With the five new people? It wasn't like she was in there like conducting the whole thing. So damn, left me with these people.
Unknown Speaker 24:05
Dang, that's
Unknown Speaker 24:09
I'm glad I didn't get those stupid job. But one of the guys that guess like the leader of a group or whatever. He's looking at my resume. And he goes, your name spelled wrong on here. And I'm like, what? Immediately I'm like, Oh my God, how did I fuck up my own name? And like, oh, it's spelled aeoi SSA and he's like, Oh, I'm just messing with you. It's spelled right
Unknown Speaker 24:42
could you do that? My sound like my heart would have dropped into my oh my
Unknown Speaker 24:45
god. Yeah, pretty sure I'd shit out my heart. Oh, dude. Yeah, no
Unknown Speaker 24:52
luck. Would
Unknown Speaker 24:52
you say that? Like have you never interviewed before? Do you not know how it is like, fucking piece of shit.
Unknown Speaker 24:59
I feel like that A joke I would make but not to someone that like, I'm meeting for the first time.
Unknown Speaker 25:05
Brandon or you know, like not a stranger or CO maybe a quarter at
Unknown Speaker 25:11
first, but not like a someone that I may never see again. Oh no, that's very stressful. That's not a not appropriate.
Unknown Speaker 25:19
No, it wasn't appropriate. And then he made some other joke at my expense. I don't remember what it was. And then I never got called back and I was glad, man. Yeah, that's a fucking asshole. Sounds like a dick. What else do
Unknown Speaker 25:36
I have?
Unknown Speaker 25:40
The first funeral home job that I interviewed for. This place was just a shithole which I didn't really realize. I just applied to a bunch of places, which I'm seeing is a theme that I definitely shouldn't do you randomly send out shit. So I go and I'm waiting in the office to be interviewed. And this guy comes in this is like, he just looks disgusting. Like slicked back hair. Like, it looks like one of those people that just drinks coffee all day long. And it's just like, kind of gross. I don't know. Even what I mean.
Unknown Speaker 26:23
I kind of have like a specific kind of person coming to mind. The whole fact hair. How much hair do they have? Was it kind of
Unknown Speaker 26:32
I really don't remember what he was lightly. I don't remember what he looked like. I just remember the smells. Oh, one of those people. The whole fucking office was filled with cigarette smoke. And like old coffee and it was just fucking gross. Okay, yeah, yeah, just I guess he had been smoking and came in and it was just and drink coffee
Unknown Speaker 26:58
filled the whole office. And
Unknown Speaker 27:04
I don't remember much about the interview also didn't get that job. But I just remember how gross he was. And I was like, oh, like I don't want to work here. Like this place is fucking gross. I want to work somewhere nice. So those good that I didn't get
Unknown Speaker 27:19
that? Yeah, he just was like
Unknown Speaker 27:23
a sleazy like used car salesman type of like funeral director is in like
Unknown Speaker 27:31
it for some reason. Just when you're talking about the smells and stuff, it just reminds me like when I worked at this grocery store these like, Dad and son there were like older that would come in and like, Oh, God. Their smell was so specific and so disgusting. It was it. It was just like a it smelled like they lived in a house that they did not clean.
Unknown Speaker 27:58
ever
Unknown Speaker 28:01
cleaned themselves in a very dirty bathroom. Maybe
Unknown Speaker 28:05
like baby wipes. They never take showers. I don't know how
Unknown Speaker 28:09
exactly to scrub the smell. It was just gross. And like, I don't know, they just weirded me out. You know, they gave me kind of like, we hide people in our freezer vibe. Yeah, they, they always weirded me out. And of course, like they always tried to like haggle for deals and
Unknown Speaker 28:26
and stuff and oh,
Unknown Speaker 28:29
god this smell. I'm sorry. It just keeps coming back to me. And it's just like it's a very like, I'm sure there's some people out there that know I'm talking about because it seems like in retail there's just always those mutual customers that come come in all the time. That just smells so fucking bad and everyone tries to avoid them.
Unknown Speaker 28:50
Which was nice when I stopped the cashier business
Unknown Speaker 28:55
because sorry, there's a bee attack me. Um, because yeah, whenever you're just on the floor, you can move around and hide and avoid people.
Unknown Speaker 29:05
Yeah, I remember when I worked at a clothing store this lady coming in smelling fucking awful and trying on cologne smelled fucking awful.
Unknown Speaker 29:16
Oh,
Unknown Speaker 29:18
it working in a clothing stores fucking gross just for shit like that. And people would like get their fucking deodorant on stuff. They would get their fucking makeup and like how much makeup are you wearing? Sure, like
Unknown Speaker 29:35
me I was crazy because it's like, I don't understand that because like I always try to be like super careful when I'm trying on clothes.
Unknown Speaker 29:40
Yeah, like my workout before you go.
Unknown Speaker 29:47
My sister used to work at Gap and I'm pretty sure she told me someone like took a shit in one of the changing rooms. So that's
Unknown Speaker 29:56
happening. One of my co workers from back then worked at Like JC Penney's or something, somebody's fucking pissed and shit. And they're
Unknown Speaker 30:05
like, Oh, this is a weird stall. There's no toilet. I guess. This is how it works nowadays. It's so European
Unknown Speaker 30:18
man, I feel like I have more
Unknown Speaker 30:22
weird interview stuff with the funeral home. Because I had a lot of those. So I think on that, okay, I'm slowly building up. Awkward slash cringy. Funeral Home theme.
Unknown Speaker 30:38
Are you flashbacks?
Unknown Speaker 30:42
Yeah, sometimes things will happen. Like, oh, fuck, I remember something weird. And I put it in my
Unknown Speaker 30:49
Oh, yeah, what's happened to me a few times too. And I'm just like, How the fuck did I forget about? And now I'm like, Oh, no. Now I can't forget about that. All the time.
Unknown Speaker 31:00
Like, I'm gonna have to ruminate on this until I talk about it. Oh, yeah, we have a listener story that was sent in who apparently I'm very on Organize who
Unknown Speaker 31:16
feel like we might need like a little song for listener. style now
Unknown Speaker 31:21
to think on some stuff. Sounds good.
Unknown Speaker 31:27
So this one's from Ashley. If you remember our Halloween episode, she was the sexy Bumblebee Bumblebee.
Unknown Speaker 31:35
So she says I
Unknown Speaker 31:37
had an interview for a clothing store. And the dude asked me to name two things I would do with a watermelon pervert. And then she did a little eye emoji that's like so obviously I said eat it. And I saw a show where they grease up a watermelon. Pull it into a pool and they had to get it out. We stared at each other in silence for a moment and grossed out by him.
Unknown Speaker 32:06
Yeah, well that's a weird fucking question. What the fuck?
Unknown Speaker 32:12
She said cringe I got the job, but I didn't work there long because I wasn't fancy enough.
Unknown Speaker 32:17
I guess so you didn't do the right things with the watermelon. Like what would you do one or two things you would do?
Unknown Speaker 32:26
Immediately? I don't know since you're asking me a question. Maybe you make a drink with it. I guess it wouldn't be appropriate to say like a margarita. But let's what came to mind
Unknown Speaker 32:39
it also say that you'd like to have fun. You can work but you also like to have fun.
Unknown Speaker 32:47
I don't even know what else.
Unknown Speaker 32:48
Cut it up for a barbecue. Grill
Unknown Speaker 32:54
it. I would like to try girl. Yeah, we'll try it and let you guys know.
Unknown Speaker 32:59
Before my pineapple allergy I had grilled pineapple is good.
Unknown Speaker 33:03
That sounds good. What would you do with the watermelon? Uh,
Unknown Speaker 33:07
the first thing that comes to my mind is just throwing it on the ground really hard. Trying to get it to explode. Um, and then obviously eat the remnants. But also maybe try that thing with the rubber bands or anything like so many rubber bands. Whenever I watch them I'm like how's it gonna go is it's anxiety inducing it is and like I just know if I were to do that, like I would really have to wear safety equipment because I knew that I just get like hit in the eye and oh Oh, speaking of that, have you ever seen any Loza tech talks where those guys wearing like safety goggles and then they'll just like show like a fucking blade that just like dude. Oh, yeah, that's terrifying. So for the work those people do.
Unknown Speaker 34:01
I'll show those to carboy number three whenever they pop up, and he's like, Oh, well that's a blue Big Blue saw and like he was doing something stupid. That doesn't happen if you don't do stupid things
Unknown Speaker 34:16
I don't know why but I feel like that's a very cardboard number. I feel like you'd be really calling back and be like yeah, you just don't need
Unknown Speaker 34:31
it plays off and cuts your eyes doesn't happen that way.
Unknown Speaker 34:40
And then like what if it like hit them in the mouth or something instead? Like God, fuck, I can't do that. Sometimes I'll show I can't really show cardboard number one that stuff because he he can't handle it as much. I mean, you kind of can but you know he'll get late. And be like, don't show that to me. Like um, I had done some special effects makeup on my leg like a pencil was getting stabbed on. I was I went to show him I was like, Oh, hey, look, I did some makeup here. Let me show you and then like I showed him and he was like,
Unknown Speaker 35:13
fucking show me. I was like it's it's not real. It's fake. He's like I know not to brag on my skill, but brag.
Unknown Speaker 35:27
G gets with like pimple popping videos. I love shit like that. Like if you have one that's really good or really anything please send it to me. I'm fucking love it.
Unknown Speaker 35:38
It grosses me out. But like, look, and it's funny, because usually people will send me tic TOCs. I don't have tic TOCs or I don't have it. I don't have I don't have the app. So it'll just open it up in a browser. And it's automatically go to like some random ass tic toc. And like, usually about 80% of the time. It's like a pimple or like a big old blockhead popping thing. And I'm like, oh, I want to watch it. And then I'm like, no, no, no. Turn it off before it happens. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 36:10
I get all kinds of weird shit stemming from that. Like lately, I've been getting like ingrown toenail videos. Bursar. Yeah, those are a little weird, or like stuff with teeth. Like the teeth ones just gross shape people's teeth,
Unknown Speaker 36:27
like nice.
Unknown Speaker 36:29
Like, people have food and their teeth are like rotting, like rot or a cavity
Unknown Speaker 36:33
rotting or people that have
Unknown Speaker 36:36
I forget what it's called. But
Unknown Speaker 36:39
when you have a bunch of buildup on your teeth, and they really have to, like, calcium buildup and stuff. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 36:47
I mean, that happens when people don't brush their teeth, right? Or is that just like a condition? Some people?
Unknown Speaker 36:52
I don't know if it's a condition, but yeah, I know. Like, people get really depressed and like slack on that. And I yeah, like a big um,
Unknown Speaker 37:03
and another listener story that we have someone emailed in. I have a few more, but this one is, was emailed to us that nervous laughter podcast@gmail.com. Save it in your address. Yeah, you can send any, any stories that you want to share with us there. Um, so this is from Mike. One of my friends.
Unknown Speaker 37:25
Hey, Mike. Hi, Mike.
Unknown Speaker 37:28
He says, Hi, Jamie and Alyssa. First off, I love the show and the new episodes have become a highlight of my week.
Unknown Speaker 37:36
Oh, yay. Thank you. Because sometimes in my head, I'm like, everyone hates me.
Unknown Speaker 37:41
They're gonna stop with
Unknown Speaker 37:45
zero downloads.
Unknown Speaker 37:48
Y'all are so wonderfully awkward. And I look forward to hearing what cringy stories y'all cook up. Thank you. Loose my awkwardness is good for something. Finally, it's as far as awkward interviews, I think mine is not by any means a unique situation. Every fucking time I interview they asked me, tell me about a time you went above and beyond for a guest Hey, to me. Yeah, I do too. And to me, that is one of the stupidest, most loaded questions on the planet. My parents raised me to always be on the lookout for how you can go above and beyond for the people you serve. So to me, that's a normal thing to do. But I can't say I do that on the regs for everyone without sounding like a straight up like I'm trading straight up lying to the interviewer. Or like I'm kissing, kissing ass and being a tryhard who no one wants to invite to the party. I really, really hate that question. And I remember one one time. So whenever I was interviewing at Lowe's,
Unknown Speaker 38:55
they asked me that question. And I was like,
Unknown Speaker 38:59
Well, whenever I was a cashier at the grocery store at rouses, customer asked me where jelly was. And I showed them where it was instead of telling them where.
Unknown Speaker 39:14
Like, here, let me hold your hand and walk you.
Unknown Speaker 39:17
Yeah, like I don't know. Like, I've only worked at a grocery store before
Unknown Speaker 39:20
that. It just makes me think of like fucking Karen's throwing a fit and I have to like be nice to them. That's all Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 39:30
What one dude when I worked at Lowe's whenever he started, uh, he got promoted to a manager. And then he fucking called the cops on this customer that was just getting kind of irate customer service customer. Yeah, so I was like, good. Fucking good for you, man. But, Mike, Mike's email continues on to say suffice to say I clam up super hard every time. I'm asked that question because In the moment, I can't ever think of something that I can be sure that I can be sure they would consider above and beyond. So, just reading this, I just want to say I, I clam up super hard every time anyone asked me anything.
Unknown Speaker 40:18
I like 10 minutes, please.
Unknown Speaker 40:21
I just asked your name, sir.
Unknown Speaker 40:24
I'm getting too far. Um,
Unknown Speaker 40:29
I'm never sure what they would consider above and beyond. So I generally just stammer out something about a guest when I worked as a server who wouldn't stop complaining. So I got the manager to comp their food. That usually gets them on to the next question. Um, I hate that so much to that's like, it always just falls back on giving, giving someone something for free as rewarding
Unknown Speaker 40:52
their fucking hair and asked behavior. Yeah, hate that shit. Like when your
Unknown Speaker 40:57
kids crying in the at the grocery store? Are you going to buy them all that candy? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 41:02
that's what like every business is like, Oh, well just give them the candy for free.
Unknown Speaker 41:08
Yeah, it's dumb. Also, what the fuck is up with people asking why do you want to work for our company?
Unknown Speaker 41:17
Because I need a job to pay. What kind of question is that?
Unknown Speaker 41:23
It's like you need someone to work for you and I need money. Why do I have to prove to you that your restaurant is a magical job. I've been searching for my entire life. And then I'm so in love with it. And I'll sacrifice my personal life to be on your amazing payroll for 213 an hour. At my first programming job, they said there's no expectation to work late. But we want you to want to work late. Shut the fuck up. Like the stops, it's gonna be so much fun that like you're just gonna want to work all the time. It's gonna be great. Mmm, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 42:09
That makes me think of something to say.
Unknown Speaker 42:13
Oh, yeah, it just closes out with I could go on but for the sake of the show's run time, I'll leave this bit here. Keep up the great work and party on fat heads. Thank you toys the thing you're gonna say.
Unknown Speaker 42:31
Like whenever he was talking about, you know, companies wanting you to like, suck their painter. Like, I'm happy now that's probably not that way anymore because people are quitting their jobs. Yeah, it makes me so happy. Just like thinking about managers like begging people to work there. I'm like, Ha book you. Yeah. To the man.
Unknown Speaker 42:56
Yeah. Hey, when I worked at the blood center.
Unknown Speaker 43:00
They came out with this memo like, right when COVID started and they were like, oh, yeah, like, Y'all don't need to worry about being exposed because we're working with presumably healthy people. And y'all are just kind of like grocery store workers because you don't come in contact with any like bodily fluids or anything. And like, worst of all, you're dealing. And like a couple days before this memo came out. This lady fucking passed out after she donated and she was like in the waiting area. PSA, you always need to eat a shit ton of food before you donate blood. So you don't pass out.
Unknown Speaker 43:41
Like Michael Scott. Oh, I haven't eaten.
Unknown Speaker 43:46
People do that shit. And I'm like, You need to eat and they're like, No, I'm fine. I'm like, okay, so this lady parasail in the fucking waiting room don't want to start started slipping out of her chair. And she started pissing. In the splashed on my shoe. I read this memo and I'm like, oh, okay, so there's the shoes I threw away that was just imaginary because the body fluids.
Unknown Speaker 44:12
Okay. Even if Oh god. Yeah, no, that was a good that was the right idea. Just throw in the fucking trash. Oh, that's disgusting. Yeah, it was gross. I didn't even think about something like that happening. But now I'm like, even more scared to like pass out in front of people because I don't want to like, piss myself or fart.
Unknown Speaker 44:31
I mean, it happens.
Unknown Speaker 44:33
There is this guy. Whenever I was in high school, you know, you have to do like the state testing and they put like, everyone in the rooms like alphabetically or whatever. So we were doing the state test. And one kid got put in my room. His mom was one of the like, she's a teacher. She was one of the like, people assigned to that room to monitor and so he finishes his tests and falls asleep person and falls asleep. And then he starts just like randomly farting in his sleep.
Unknown Speaker 45:10
So I could never sleep in public
Unknown Speaker 45:13
as well. I'm just kind of new came over and kind of you know, nudge them on the shoulder kind of work them up a little it's funny, because the way you said that was so perfect, exactly how a teacher would like whisper something like that. So thank you, Mike. Thank you for writing in. We appreciate it. And Mike, oh, Mike also has just like some notes that he's written down on his phone as he's been listening to the show. So we'll definitely we'll have to have him on one day and just chat about everything he's talked about. Oh, yeah. I was talking to him about one of the things. So I guess at some point, we were talking about killer whales. Who seems really random. But I guess we're saying that they're pretty chill and stuff. Apparently, they're not. Apparently they're super big assholes. And they will even like, what Mike was telling me was that they will like fuck with the sea lions and stuff. Like, you know, like, they'll eat them and stuff. But sometimes we'll just kind of use them as toys and like, oh, shit, some around them up and be like, Alright, we're done with you. Like, yeah, so apparently, they're super huge assholes. But we can talk about that more when Mike comes on. So another story I wanted to share. So this one is from me and cardioid number one's friend, I'll say it's more so carboys number one's friend, but I've met him a few times. And we play some games together. And whenever I asked him, if I could tell the story on the podcast, it was funny, because I was like, may I tell the story? And if so, would you like to be credited? And how would you like to be credited? He was like, Oh, you can absolutely tell the story. And you absolutely do not need to credit me.
Unknown Speaker 47:12
God, okay. Thank you a mysterious stranger.
Unknown Speaker 47:18
It's a really short story. So he's also a software developer. And so he was long, long, long time ago doing a video call with this one place. And he said that he was just like, really nervous. And he was just like, tanking it and just Bahman and so in the first like, 15 or 20 minutes, he was just like, well, I don't want to waste any rank. I don't want to waste any more of you guys's time. So I'm reading this unless now. And they're like, Are you sure? And they're, like, yeah, we can just, we can just call it and that's fine. It's fine. Oh, yeah, I have not done that. But I've definitely really, really wanted to do that. And I wrote down. I have definitely had times where I've just wanted to cut an interview short like that. But I also have a feeling sometimes or like, how Aaron on the office, she just like, covers her face with her hair. And she's like, pretend like my hair was my room. Like, I just want to do that sometimes. It's so bad. Like, No, they'll still be able to see me like, Oh,
Unknown Speaker 48:32
our cat although she's more social now than she used to try to hide a lot. So she would like hide her head and the front half of her body under so your back legs and her tail or out
Unknown Speaker 48:46
would you like go by and like, well, I keep I want to say like squeeze your butt. But you know what I mean? Just like, you know, poker on the back or something?
Unknown Speaker 48:53
I didn't cuz she she used to be like a huge scaredy cat. So like, if I do, it's gonna traumatize, okay. Yeah, Diablo is
Unknown Speaker 49:01
a huge skirty tattoo. So I understand that. Um,
Unknown Speaker 49:05
she's better now. Like, last night, she fucking stuck her whole head into my glass. I was drinking out of it. I was getting ready to drink it and I like took her tail and was like doing it. So I was like, that
Unknown Speaker 49:21
was funny, whatever. I went over to your house to give her medicine when you're at a town and
Unknown Speaker 49:27
she was under the bed.
Unknown Speaker 49:30
I felt so weird because I was like, Well, I feel weird going under a list of bed but I feel like I feel like I have to do this or else I'm a terrible cat sitter. So I crawled under the bed. And I gotta say your bed was But underneath of your bed was very clean for an underneath level bed sweet. I just got some like cat hair and stuff on me but there wasn't any like cat vomit or like I know this kind of under my bed so yeah, it was it was nice experience. Olive is a very well behaved girl. She didn't try to run away or anything. And then whenever I told her I went under the bed I was like, Oh God, this is fucking freak.
Unknown Speaker 50:17
So our beds really high up. And so we have a Roomba and it goes under there really easily so slowly. I had run the Roomba in our room before you came over but as soon as you said that I was like, what if somehow there's like a basket to deal with there's some weird Georgia's
Unknown Speaker 50:45
like, Oh my God, what did she see? I'm sure you would have never said anything you said
Unknown Speaker 50:56
like pictures of me
Unknown Speaker 51:01
see my Jamie shrine.
Unknown Speaker 51:04
My hairs on there.
Unknown Speaker 51:10
That happened on like an episode of Malcolm in the Middle. We had a baby set the lowest works at the store with that weird guy. And Dewey was babysitting his cat. And he was trying to get them out from under the bed and he pulled out a box of pictures and they were like all of the lowest. So creepy. Um, another story that I have. So it's really this is another super short one. But this is from Justin a guy. I used to play games with a lot. So he said, a guy I was interviewing started singing out of nowhere. It was borderline opera. We let him go for probably about 20 seconds before he had to say something. How do you even have the balls to do that?
Unknown Speaker 52:04
I hate sometimes and people saying like, Oh, just I hate it randomly and people saying and like what am I supposed to do?
Unknown Speaker 52:15
I don't It's just weird. Like I'm not feeling serenaded. Yeah, we're just having a converse that you I guess on you like it's really Yeah, it's awkward. And where do
Unknown Speaker 52:26
you look? How does how's your Facebook?
Unknown Speaker 52:30
There is this video I saw it was a I think it was Kanye and like some of the Kardashians or something they were at like a dinner table and this one chick just starts like she's singing. And it just shows you know around the table and everyone's like yeah, good. This gets to Kanye and he just kind of looking around like this is fucking awkward y'all
Unknown Speaker 52:53
um, yeah, I don't if you're around
Unknown Speaker 52:56
me please don't just like burst out into song. I mean, yes, there were some like appropriate things but like
Unknown Speaker 53:04
in a serious manner. Yeah, please don't I mean
Unknown Speaker 53:08
feel free to read Super Bass CEO yeah cingulum biscuit that's
Unknown Speaker 53:12
fine if it calls but don't be like you know,
Unknown Speaker 53:16
I'm a really good singer. I just had this hankering for someone to hear me sing Oh Silent Night I don't know why I'm thinking about God areas singing Oh, silent night and
Unknown Speaker 53:32
I thought about office a little drummer boy. Angeles favorite song.
Unknown Speaker 53:36
I love how like happy she looks when she's, like kicked out for karaoke. Um, oh man. What does Dwight sing does he sing a Green Day? Yeah, I walk
Unknown Speaker 53:56
let's see. And I also have a short kind of thing from Rob.
Unknown Speaker 54:03
He's your boy. Yeah, come on. Actually, he is a car boy.
Unknown Speaker 54:07
Come on to the show. And you can be
Unknown Speaker 54:09
car boy number four.
Unknown Speaker 54:13
Um, if you don't remember, Rob's also Rob's the person who's thankful for penicillin. Yeah. So he said cuz I actually texted him I was like, if anyone has an awkward interview story, it's gotta be Rob. So he's so unfortunately he said nothing super awkward. But the closest the closest I can think of was a time I was in an interview the lights were a bit low. And someone mentioned that they had a but they were new power saving lights. I just blurted out global crisis and whatnot. Gave me a very WTF look, and then kept on going. I guess I decided quote 21 Jump Street was a good idea. I did not get the job. Oh, I did get the job. So I guess it wasn't that bad. Yeah. I don't know, the 21 Jump Street reference. But even if you don't, it's a thing. And it's funny to So Rob had also um, so when we work together, everyone at the office got me a card whenever I got married, and I'm, like, signed up. And I didn't realize it, but what Rob wrote in there was quoting the office. But I was just like reading, you know, they gave me the card, and I was just kind of like, yeah, reading them. It was it. What was it? It was what Michael Scott wrote for Jim and Pam, I think that was like, people say that a bond is like when to I didn't realize that was coding the office was like, Oh, I was from the office. Now. I just feel dumb. I
Unknown Speaker 56:07
feel like an idiot. I was the dumb one for not catching the office quote. So let me see if I have any more. I think that might be it. Yeah, I had, um,
Unknown Speaker 56:27
I talked to some other people too, about stories, but it's kind of like it's kind of like, you know, just the same kind of experiences of like those same annoying, ask questions. Where do you see yourself in five years and instances where people are just being fucking dicks. So the person they're interviewing? Like, what's happened to me more than once, but I don't fucking get that. Why are you gonna intimidate someone?
Unknown Speaker 56:52
Someone that needs a job. You're, like, have power over
Unknown Speaker 56:55
you? Yeah, it's like, and like, I have interviewed people before. And like, I don't know where that comes from me at all. Like, I always feel bad when I'm interviewing people. I'm like, I don't want to ask questions that are too long.
Unknown Speaker 57:13
You get the job. It's fine. God.
Unknown Speaker 57:15
Oh, so someone, um, I just interviewed on Friday was, it was funny. So I thought we only had 30 minutes. And so I was like, okay, cool. You know, we'll leave the last like five minutes for questions. So it was like a 222 or something. So I was like, okay, you know, we're kind of like running short on time, or, you know, coming to an end. So let's go ahead. And, you know, we can switch over to you asking questions. And then it goes, it's like, 237, or whatever. I'm like, man, like, I'm surprised he didn't like wrap it up already. And I was like, extending past the time. So I looked at the calendar invite. It was booked for a fucking hour, not 30 minutes. I was like, Oh, God, the Lord can't just like jump back to like asking technical questions or anything. And so just like some stuff, he saw his answers or like, or like the, he would ask questions, and I tried to make my answers a little lengthy. And I was also kind of interesting, because then I just kind of would ask them about some of the stuff he answered on or, or just whatever, like, oh, you said that, you know, you would do this. So how does that fit into whatever? Like, not a stressful question, but something that could still tell me something. Um, so yeah, that was a little like,
Unknown Speaker 58:38
he thought it was. I feel bad about it.
Unknown Speaker 58:43
But it worked out fine. The shorter interview always sounds good, though.
Unknown Speaker 58:47
Yeah. Yeah. And, and part of me wanted to be like, well, I
Unknown Speaker 58:51
thought that this interview was supposed to end sooner, but we can then now, but I was like, oh, man, I'm gonna make the company sound like they like they hire idiots. So I was also trying to just find some stuff online, that we could also talk about, but there wasn't really anything. Um, I found a couple interview tips that I wanted to talk about, because I just thought they were kind of funny. So one was on a list from indeed, and number 15 on their list was win them over with your authenticity and positivity. And I was like, Yeah, let's let's do that.
Unknown Speaker 59:35
Exactly like me. They're just like, be fucking fake and say what the people want you
Unknown Speaker 59:41
to say. Like you don't want me to be like authentic during interview I'm gonna make you feel fucking awkward. Um, and then this other list from career one step. It was one of the steps was display confidence during the interview, but one of the bullet points stated means I maintain eye contact and almost like
Unknown Speaker 1:00:05
no.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:08
I already have a difficult time doing what? Like Yeah. Even if I'm talking to someone, if we make eye contact, I'm like, oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:21
It's weird. Like, I feel like if someone's talking to me, I have an okay time with eye contact, but if I'm talking to them, like, I'm just gonna like the floor, or whatever.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:33
And then I feel weird because I'm like, I hope they know that. Like, I'm talking to them and stuff and like, I'm engaged, but I just can't look at them for some reason. Sometimes, if someone's talking, I can kind of do it and kind of like get some nods going. But then after it's like too long, I'm like, I just kind of like sit up and I start messing with my hands on my lap and look down I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:00:54
like, oh, no, they're
Unknown Speaker 1:00:55
gonna think I'm looked at them for too long and I just I prefer texting or I think this all concludes our episode for the day that heads cringe stirs whatever yawn but
Unknown Speaker 1:01:09
heads Yeah, party on cringe world, excellent
Unknown Speaker 1:01:17
don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, or rate us or whatever on Spotify & apple.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:25
Follow us on social media, and send us your stories. Alright, bye bye