The ladies check out some Mega Gross Minis, which are surprisingly more detailed than you would expect!
The ladies check out some Mega Gross Minis, which are surprisingly more detailed than you would expect!
Speaker 1 0:00
Alyssa, I have a little bit of a confession to make. Oh, what is it? Um, I kind of yell, sneeze sometimes.
Speaker 2 0:22
And, oh, my gosh. Did you just realize this about yourself?
Yeah, I didn't, like, really realize that, like, the other day, and then I, like, yell, sneeze. I was like, Oh, I'm glad, Alyssa, you know, I'm gonna give you a pass, since you're my friend and like you don't, I don't know. I feel like your yelsey Sneeze would probably still be okay, okay, because I don't have, like, a I
Speaker 1 1:01
don't know it doesn't sound as terrifying, I guess, as when. And I don't do it like, you know,
Speaker 2 1:10
all the time, but still, every once in a while, sometimes you have a loud sneeze. I get that for sure. Sometimes you have one that's like, phew, yeah, yeah. Sometimes your yeah mouth just does that shit true. Thank you for bravely sharing that with me. Yeah, a safe space for all types of sneezes. Get that off my chest. Yes. Oh, except what? Sorry. Oh, except if you're a very loud man, yes. Are like, sneezes though it's fine, yes. Or if you're fat head, you're also get a pass, and you're also welcome to the yeah, maybe sorry you're gonna do your PASS is, um,
Unknown Speaker 1:58
what's that word? Contingent?
Speaker 2 2:02
And welcome to nervous laughter podcast. Welcome. I'm Alyssa. I'm Jamie, and here we are
Unknown Speaker 2:13
speaking of sneezes.
Speaker 2 2:16
I was at HEB, and I always look at the clearance stuff. And they had something very interesting that I knew Jamie and I had to try it is the mega gross minis. And if you've ever seen mini brands, it's like little miniature versions of grocery store stuff. I'm so excited. But this one
Unknown Speaker 2:40
has a toilet with like, shit flying out of it,
Speaker 2 2:44
and some McDonald, McDonald's Nuggets with maggots that say sicken nuggets. Hell yeah, we have Chucky sneeze flulicious pizza, and it's the little rat, like getting snot onto a pizza. And my personal favorite, but Tella, which is like Nutella, but it's poop, and there's like literal shit with flies and toilet paper. So yeah, yeah, and, but tell us being held by a yellow gloved hand on the ball cover too, with some flies all over it. I am fun. So excited for this. I like that, uh, you know, gross out humor is still around a little bit. You know, some ways I feel like it was pretty heavy when we were definitely kind of went away. Maybe, yeah, yeah. You and G said the same thing, yeah. We're both like, I didn't know they sold stuff like this at HEB. It was like, Yeah, I don't this seems like a Spencer's item, yeah, HEB, might surprise you. It's true. Oh, what? Where'd you find them at in HEB, like, just a toy, and there's a clearance section, kind of at the back of the store. Okay, I'm just curious of where they would put it, like, normally, all right, I'm opening one. It's an orange bag. Oh, my God, oh, wait, it has stickers and stuff. Oh, oh, wait, okay, wait, this might spoil what it is, so let me just open it ASMR,
Speaker 1 4:12
oh, my God. It's like a cute little that is.
Unknown Speaker 4:15
So I'm definitely keeping that that is, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 4:22
I'm so excited right now. Now to the good stuff.
Speaker 2 4:28
Don't worry packages. We'll definitely be recycling all this. This is the most plastic I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 4:36
Okay, this is a ice cream cone. Oh, like a little zombie cone.
Speaker 1 4:50
Then we have a Oh, Dr Popper, like popping a pimple. Like all oozing out the side. I wonder if that glows in the dark.
Speaker 2 5:05
I literally just had the thought this was the most exciting day.
Speaker 1 5:12
Yeah, yeah. I think so. Oh, wait. I want to make sure I'm getting rid of actual ones, okay. Oh, and the the nails on the doctor popper are also like a Marley like, Oh, gross. Are they brown? Creamy? Yeah, brown too. This was a great value. Oh, this is a magnifying glass, which I'm sure probably goes with
Unknown Speaker 5:40
another one of these,
Speaker 2 5:43
holy shit. There's a lot of stuff in here, yeah, and there's still more. It's like a sticker and a little bag,
Unknown Speaker 5:50
condiment pack. Oh,
Speaker 1 5:54
it's a old lice instead of Old Spice. Oh, and it's like a little deodorant. Yeah, that's got lice all over it, and little pieces in the deodorant coming out the top. Oh, it's textured too. Oh, hell yeah, feel it.
Speaker 2 6:18
I knocked a bus, sorry. So much trash, no, oh, yeah, right,
Speaker 1 6:25
gonna know why I smelled it like it would be scented. Oh, that would be, like, awesome. That's like, we should recommend that to them for their next thing. Oh, let me see, um, let me see if the backs of these, like, say anything like on the thing. So like the old lice that says ingredients, hungry hair, lice, 99% baby lice. 177%
Unknown Speaker 6:52
lice, teeth, 88% armpit hair, 62%
Unknown Speaker 6:57
unknown, smelly stuff
Speaker 1 7:00
and irritation. Warning, keep, oh, this is why they have the magnifying glass. Ah, that's cool. Warning, keep away from, oh, my god, I can't I feel like a fucking Boomer right now, from dome, oh, keep away from domestic pets and fire. You smell so lice. For decades old, lice has been responsible for keeping the armpits of millions of humans infested with with hungry hair, eating horrible lice. Raise your arms but roll it on and scream in agony as your underarm hairs are ripped out one
Speaker 2 7:47
by one. I guess it shows it's flammable, because it shows like a house with a fire on the roof. Uh, this is the original toxic endurance deodorant. I I want to get so many more of these. Yeah, these are fun. I didn't know it have all these little details. Yeah, this is really cool. The sorry,
Speaker 1 8:15
are you okay if I read through? Oh, yeah, okay. Like waiting the ice. Cream, it
Speaker 2 8:25
says bite me may cause brain freeze. It has a big brain on top with some flies and stuff. Oh, cute. I didn't realize that was a brain. Oh yeah, yeah. It does look like a scoop of like strawberry ice cream on top of a green scoop
Unknown Speaker 8:40
contains traces of conjunctivitis,
Unknown Speaker 8:46
non nutritional facts, eyeball milk, 105%
Speaker 1 8:52
eyeball plus 90% Hell yeah, eyeball crust, 60%
Unknown Speaker 8:59
eyeball cheese,
Speaker 2 9:02
eyeball cheese before, Oh, I love that. I hate it by a lot, yeah,
Speaker 1 9:08
um, eyeball cheese is 40% scary dairy, 77
Speaker 2 9:17
Dude, this is fucking cool. I found my new thing. I'm collecting
Unknown Speaker 9:23
the DR popper.
Speaker 1 9:27
It says craters of flavor, and it has like a someone popping a pus. That's like volcanoing out. Let's see, looking for refreshment. This is it, the non nutritional facts on this one. I'm not going to say the percentages, just because, oh, it's not as says pus plus extract. Oh, gosh, synthetic pus, acne, acid oil. Pizza Kitchen grease and zit cream. When you crack open a can of Dr Popper, it really hits you in all the really hits you in the face. Oh my gosh, the thick pus, the yellow goop, the bubbles and boils. It's a flavor burst that, uh, it's a flavor burst with real pop. We squeeze the squeeze, oh, we squeeze and squeeze into every mouthful. And let's face it, it tastes great with pizza.
Unknown Speaker 10:40
Dr Popper, oh, my God,
Speaker 2 10:44
this is so cool. I guess you get a little magnifying glass and everything, yeah, this is, like, way more detailed and everything. Yeah, no idea. So you also got stickers, yeah, let's see it has a sticker that says, oh, it's not a Funko Pop, it's farto poop, so it's like, the logo, that's a big, yeah, um, and if you want any of this, like, back, just like, No, no, it's a gift to you. Oh, like, I won the lottery. Oh, cool. Oh, hell. Yeah. Check boxes so you can check what nice, what you've gotten so far. Okay, maybe we can read through some of those after we're done opening. Hell yeah, yeah, some of the ones we didn't get. I hope we don't get any duplicates. But who knows what's that toilet slime.
Unknown Speaker 11:42
What I guess this is slime day water closet.
Unknown Speaker 11:51
It has a picture on the back,
Speaker 1 11:54
what shows like someone plunging a toilet, someone throwing what I assume is the slime into the toilet and then someone's wearing it on the floor. Oh, it says For illustration only. So I think those are just like, Yeah, but, but children are going to be using this, so I probably wouldn't do that. But, yeah, okay, I kind of let me open it so I can, like, because I can feel a little chunk of feel something in the I wonder if it's a fly. Oh, what if it was a kernel of corn? I wish I could eat it.
Unknown Speaker 12:30
Oh, I think it's little. Yeah,
Speaker 2 12:38
I am surprised that I am more grossed out than I would be by that texture. Oh, holy shit. It's so gross. Are the maggots hard or Yeah? Do you want to feel it feels like fucking
Unknown Speaker 12:57
Yeah? I don't like the the of it,
Speaker 2 13:01
or something. I don't know. Don't know how, yeah, my hands are, like, clammy now, oh, it actually smells good, yeah, it doesn't. It kind of smells like lotion or something, yeah, like something that would have glitter in it,
Speaker 1 13:15
like a kid, like a child's lotion or something. Oh, yeah, okay, yeah. Like, I hate the word, like the ridges on the worm, but I also really like it. I Okay, let me put it away. Hold on. I need it on, like my other fingers to balance out. Yes, ah, the maggots are falling out. Ew, I think I've got her cat hair in it now. Yeah, okay, let me see if I can get it back in the I'm not gonna be able to get back in the package.
Unknown Speaker 13:50
I will just plop it into the ball,
Speaker 1 13:56
yeah, maybe I will not open the other slimes and just put them in the, like, local library box or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, little ASMR, swinging the slime around the ball maggot. ASMR, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 14:17
Oh, man, this is so exciting. I know
Unknown Speaker 14:22
like, what is she gonna get?
Unknown Speaker 14:25
Oh, it's a can of rat something. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 14:30
rat milk.
Speaker 1 14:36
And I say it like that because it makes me reminisce without like, the only red and snippy episode I remember they were like, I don't know if they were like, stranded or banded somewhere, but they they went to these people's house and it was like, drink your warm rat milk or whatever that the nice lady
Unknown Speaker 14:57
gave you. Let's see your favorite.
Speaker 2 15:00
Rat, ooh, I feel like you would be good at this writing puns for me. Oh, maybe, maybe I'll make a little line my own, and we can sell them to you fatheads only if you want them. Of course, I'm not trying to be like we're starting
Speaker 1 15:17
with MLM, oh, I guess I didn't describe it. Yeah, it's just like a cane of white condensed milk kind of looking and then it has, like, I guess you would describe that as, like a bowl of ice cream looking, stuff coming out of the top with a angry rat with red eyes peering out of it, and rat, not rats, worms coming out of the top, and a little scoop. Um, the non nutritional facts are vermin milk, vermin curd.
Speaker 2 15:50
Oh, yeah, rat hair, rat poop, rat tails, rat lice. How is that? You know, that's not too different from what the FDA will approve now, yeah, it's true. You get, you get a small percentage of a fucking rat turd and everything, or whatever, little rat buffet.
Speaker 1 16:15
When it's summer and you need to cool off, nothing beats the milky yellowy and totally radical flavor of raw rat milk, ice cream. Oh, it's ice cream. Oh, I didn't see the little ice cream under the milk. Oh, okay, okay, okay, yeah, so it looks like a little pint of ice cream.
Unknown Speaker 16:36
We milk only the nastiest rats, pure,
Speaker 1 16:42
pure vermin milk straight into the churn and fresh
Speaker 2 16:48
enjoy it with the whole family. Oh, it just pictured like a little old fashioned rat lady churning it into ice cream she has like little wire rim glasses and a bonnet here, Jimmy, eat up,
Unknown Speaker 17:05
honey. You've hardly touched your red ice cream. What's wrong?
Unknown Speaker 17:11
What's next?
Unknown Speaker 17:15
This one's a little bigger. Kleenex,
Unknown Speaker 17:20
green X, what
Speaker 2 17:24
it's called, green X, oh, green X, okay, yeah, hell yeah. But I like the germs on it, yeah. It's got like, green gooey shit all over the the outside the Kleenex is, like, really dirty. It's like, there's a snot ball on it. Oh, and like, actual bacteria balls. Oh, okay, sorry. I didn't realize when you said that, just far enough away to where I can't 100% tell. So I was like, oh, maybe it is just not. Yeah, no, yeah. Sorry. There's like a dark, dark green little bacteria balls.
Unknown Speaker 18:00
It says super, sinus infection,
Unknown Speaker 18:04
95 snot tissues.
Unknown Speaker 18:07
It has some leaky noses and stuff.
Speaker 1 18:16
It looks like a picture of someone washing their hands, or maybe that's an infectious tissue, I'm not sure,
Speaker 2 18:24
as a picture of someone coughing in someone else's face, lungs with like a little pop out picture of a bacteria, and then, just like a sick person, oh, there's a bottom to it open. Sorry. Did you say? Does it open? No, oh, okay, where's a little booger inside? Oh, that would be so fun if these were interactive. I think that we need to, like, get on their team and be like, Look. Oh yeah, these are how we're gonna take this to the next level. Boys, we were talking before we started recording about, like, finding something you love to do for work. And we're both like, Well, I mean, you, you know, you have to make money and whatever. I'm like, No, this is my new passion. I want to work at the gross minis. I want to write slogans. We'll make our own gross minis if they don't accept us. Yes. Do you mind if we apply as a team? No, not at all. We can be like step brothers. I've never done a two person interview before, just no farting, okay, unless that might help us. In this case, that's true. Oh, and this podcast could help us to put it on the resume. We're like, Dude, we're pretty well versed and nasty shit. Did a whole like two episodes about a girl stuck sticking maggots up her vision. We confirmed alyssa's taste in the coffee. She was a nasty bitch. Yes, that too. So certified gross. Yeah, I'll bring back the cigarette smell.
Speaker 1 19:58
Let's see what the bottom. This green X says the tissue for me and flu. Oh, gunked up, oozy booger Green Machine, runny noses. Love the softness of green X, made from recycled fuel the flu filled used tissues. It's the softest and strength you can trust. Oh, softness and strength you can trust Alyssa, you know, or recycling? Yes, eco friendly, yes, yes. We love recycler. Your snotty nose knows, so use green X.
Unknown Speaker 20:43
Please recycle.
Unknown Speaker 20:48
Please recycle these.
Speaker 2 20:52
God sorry. I feel like I'm like, I'm looking at a meme. I'm not going to be able to read any of these if you're having a hard time. I already feel like I need reading glasses. It's just like some of the text is like, super tiny. Please recycle
Unknown Speaker 21:10
these snot rags
Unknown Speaker 21:21
so we can,
Speaker 1 21:25
I feel like an idiot, so we can use again and again and again and again
Unknown Speaker 21:34
warning, do not use as toilet paper,
Unknown Speaker 21:41
but booger butt.
Unknown Speaker 21:44
She got a booger butt.
Speaker 2 21:47
Oh, I think I told this is kind of full circle. Remember, I think I told the story on the podcast when I went to New Orleans with my sister for the brides party or whatever, and there was a booger on the toilet seat, I started gagging. Yeah, I could have had a booger butt. You could have, oh, that was so close. I'm glad she told me, Oh, my God, when I worked at it was pizza place, one time I went into the bathroom and somebody had just hawked up this like fucking green ball of snot in the sink. But while you're reading the box, I was taken back. Did not rinse that down like you're right by water, you fucking bitch. Like, Oh well, I want someone to see this.
Speaker 1 22:37
And then the last thing, I think it says may cause, I think it's congestion. Yeah, that's a G, or is it constipation? Well, maybe, if you use it as toilet paper, it maybe so it's constipation. But yeah, so that's the green X. That one's cute. And I think I just have one more. It is just some kind of vitamin
Speaker 2 23:10
Alyssa workout list. I'm excited. I don't know, Jamie be excited.
Speaker 1 23:16
What is it? This is like, Yeah, someone in the south made this.
Unknown Speaker 23:21
Oh no, is it bad?
Speaker 2 23:24
So this is a box of fortune cookies. Oh no. Is it a little racist? Doing a lot racist. We can skip it if you want. Let's just say so it's,
Speaker 1 23:39
it's like, oh, let's say they meant to call the company something wrong, but then they just fucking went racist
Speaker 2 23:48
with it. Oh, no, I feel like how my dad would say it if we went to a Chinese restaurant and like, yeah, yeah. Why did you have to do that? Yeah, so maybe we should get jobs there. Just, you know, we definitely have a lot of good ideas for them already. Yeah, you could have done so many other things if you wanted to do like Chinese food or whatever. Yeah, like, Okay, I'm gonna think it went on the spot that's better, um,
Speaker 1 24:33
and then my mind goes totally blank. I mean, I don't know just like, like,
Speaker 2 24:42
fortunate cookies or something, I don't know. Yeah, you could do sweet and shower and it could be like a soup that's made out of, like, used bath water. Oh, shower water. Yeah, see, there's something. There's so many other things you could do besides just, like, broken English, yeah, let's make any fun. Unknown English, yeah, even though the people that wrote that, I guarantee they speak one language and probably poorly and probably don't know how to fucking spell either, yeah. Um, so yeah, that's uh, what they decided to name the little fake company on this box of fortune cookies, which is unfortunate. Um, I feel like I've never been disappointed in heb until now, or maybe there's times I should have been and didn't know, but, uh, Howard Budd is a billionaire. I mean, he does do a lot, but, uh, it's like, point 2% of his wealth so he could do more. Yeah, maybe he doesn't. Maybe that's why they're getting rid of these. Maybe they got complaints or something. Oh, good. I could definitely, yeah. I could probably see that, at least with this one. I would hope if that was on the outside of the box, they wouldn't have them. Yeah, man, that's great. This is crazy. I don't know, the most caught me off guard. Yeah, I'm like, we're having fun with boogers. And then it's like, racism, yeah, yeah. And, I mean, I hope I'm not just sounding like a woke white lady or something when people like make fun of broken English me either stuff that's stupid, yeah? It just takes me back to going to restaurants with my dad. Yeah, we were supposed to be having a fun escape. We didn't want the real world.
Speaker 1 26:31
Okay, let's brew Well, let me look at the other focus on the other things on this little box and just ignore that.
Unknown Speaker 26:39
So their fortune cookies are all like,
Speaker 1 26:43
imagine, like, both points of the cookies are like big toes, and they have like little like nails, but it's all like one color, but you can kind of tell what it is, and there's a dirty sock coming out and a bunch of flies. It says foot odor. Fortune cookies, you buy
Unknown Speaker 27:04
what? Wait, hold on.
Speaker 2 27:07
I'm scared there's gonna be more broken English. I'm like,
Speaker 1 27:14
you buy something cream today. Tania, Nia, I can't fucking read that tiny. No, that's not a why? I don't know if you buy some kind of cream today. Um, the unfortunate fortune cookies. Wow, look at that. They put that on the back, and they couldn't just name the company, these fucking bastards from the kitchen of broken English, racist thing, because it's like the company name, it's like, from the company comes the crustiest fortune cookies ever made. Our 5000 year old recipe is almost as old as the socks are legendary chef Where's crack open, ace, nope. Crack open a company name a foot odor fortune cookie, and you'll see there's definitely something wrong, which they said that right without so, um,
Unknown Speaker 28:35
warning may cause bad luck.
Speaker 1 28:40
It has like, luck with it, like a cross through it, like, there's like, no luck in it. There's like an achy looking foot,
Unknown Speaker 28:48
and there's also someone,
Speaker 1 28:53
maybe coughing a lot, their face is red, and there's like puffs of something coming off their head, like they're angry or something. The non nutritional facts are smelly foot flour, I just imagine someone like just cheese grater, like fungus, flower, regular flour, rotten eggs, socks. What? Toenail sugar. Sprinkle a little toenail sugar on there with genuine, unlucky fortune message inside. Nice, yeah, so that's a that was all that was in my two balls. Oh, you didn't get stickers with that one? Oh, um, yes, there's the same poop slime. Oh, nice. And the sticker is, honestly, I don't know what it is. I think it's just like the logo laid out like PS two, PlayStation logo.
Unknown Speaker 29:53
I guess pus was this,
Unknown Speaker 29:56
pu two, what is the company called? Again? Zoom.
Speaker 1 30:05
Oh, surprise. Oh, okay, okay, yeah, so it's like the PlayStation logo, but it spells us, Okay, gotcha, okay. Well, your turn.
Speaker 2 30:18
I didn't realize that that was half of my little ball that fell. I was like, oh, it's open. Okay. Yeah, I'm sorry. Before you go, I just gotta say I'm surprised how much it's in there. I thought maybe like two little items, but, yeah, I also got toilet slime. Oh, cool, which is cool. I can't wait to show this to G. He's gonna be really grossed out. If you want. You can take my open one if you want to play with it maybe, hell yeah, we got Dr popper for my sticker, perfect. Okay, what's in here? I'm so excited. This is fun. This inspires me. Oh yeah, I want to make a little Oh, this one's gonna be for you,
Unknown Speaker 31:14
my magnifying glass.
Unknown Speaker 31:17
So since you're a gamer girl,
Speaker 2 31:21
we got the plus two mind barf game. It's like Minecraft, but it's like the little blocks are barfing into a toilet. Ah, okay, that's cute. This writing is fucking tiny. No wonder you are having a heart, yeah, it's fucked up. Chocolate block, chunder fun. Chunder fun, dig and barf, that's how you explore the exciting world of mind.
Speaker 1 31:58
Barf. Chunder, underground and create your own
Speaker 2 32:10
so spew cities and more. Explore a toilet bowl and barf bucket, and it's rated PG, so it's a little, it's a disc coming out of cute, a little case, and it has some slime around it. So that was cute. Yeah, I feel like, I mean, I guess it's kind of for kids, but I feel like mine crap would have been way more like better. That would have been way probably. Better. Oh, this one's big. Oh, maybe I'll make an adult version. Oh, my God, I got the sick and nuggets. Oh yeah. These are the maggot chicken nuggets that were in the box. It's like a nest of maggots with little nuggets in the middle. Hell yeah. This is awesome. In a little red box. It's hard to find, like, Okay, I need to hold it closer. I was holding it too far away. The magnifying glass. Yeah, it's hard to yeah, get a good medium. So the non nutritional facts. These are made out of maggot pulp, mystery meat, chicken bones, other bones, Rooster, poop, special sauce and feathers. Mike, that's probably not too far off, yeah, oh, I was gonna say, isn't that what it's already but nuggets are good. They're Tosin. The truth, they are golden, crispy, juicy, gross, goodness. And then the text is white on a yellow background, so I can't read it. So there, yeah, yeah, this one's exciting. It's cute, but can I see the M A little closer? Oh yeah, oh make Oh yeah, mcmaggots. And it's the M's like made out of maggots. Oh, I didn't realize that I'm grabbing it.
Unknown Speaker 34:08
Oh, man, it looks like I got another big end too.
Speaker 2 34:12
Oh, yay. I got the ice cream. Oh, sweet. Okay, we got our first duplicate ice cream. So cute. That was a pretty good one. So I'm hoping we don't get any more duplicates. Fourth ball, fourth ball. Okay, we got another maggoty poop slime. Okay, okay.
Unknown Speaker 34:38
They don't have any different slimes. Sticker.
Speaker 2 34:43
Oh, it's a sticker for your fucking fortune cookies. Oh, okay, maybe I'll give it to my dad. Yeah, just like you say, fucked up shit. Here you go. Broken English stuff sometimes. Okay. Like, this one's a repeat.
Unknown Speaker 35:06
Oh, I got a Pepsi. It's called poopsie.
Speaker 2 35:12
It's a straw, and it has little shit coming out of it. Okay, like, it looks like it's like, bloated in the middle. I It
Speaker 1 35:23
goes nicely with the DR popper. Yes, I don't know where I put my magnifying glass.
Unknown Speaker 35:30
Here's my going. Thank you
Speaker 1 35:33
so for poopsie whoopsies.
Unknown Speaker 35:39
We have
Unknown Speaker 35:42
God I feel so old.
Unknown Speaker 35:46
Still gonna be our life in like 20 years.
Unknown Speaker 35:50
There's like a badger shitting there's
Speaker 2 35:57
like, you know, the man and woman bathroom signs, oh yeah, there's them and a heart, which I don't know why. I can't fucking read what it says. I like that. I don't know why take something
Unknown Speaker 36:14
the taste of a poop generation.
Speaker 1 36:20
Oh, that, I think I said, I've sent you this picture, but the one that's like, a, it's like, there's a poop doctor, and he's like, Oh no, he's losing too much poop. But
Speaker 2 36:34
he would love this company, yes. So on poop. See, we have, it's the choice of poo generation, the non nutritional facts. It's made out of processed poop then real poop. Oh, fizzing poop. Ooh, this one's scary, unknown poop. Oh, I don't know about that one,
Unknown Speaker 37:07
brown stuff,
Unknown Speaker 37:10
fartinated water. I love that.
Unknown Speaker 37:15
Oh, and sugar,
Speaker 2 37:18
warning, soda. Poop puns can be soda pressing, you know, I'm gonna have to pass since it has sugar in it, yeah, sugar is a problem. I'm okay with a Oh, I forgot to read poop extract. I wish it had poop extract. Have poop extra awesome, right? My mind, this is so exciting. Okay, oh, this ice cream one again, oh, oh, no, that was the other one. Okay, so apparently, everyone gets the ice cream, yeah, and um yeah, I don't know, maybe um listeners, maybe we'll send someone an ice cream. I found another thing. Oh, that looks like a special thing. I don't think I got one. This is a shiny oh my god, epic. I'm excited. Oh my god,
Speaker 1 38:21
I got the man, that
Speaker 2 38:31
was a great last Oh, my God. Man, that kind of worked out even more perfect.
Unknown Speaker 38:39
Make sure I don't have it.
Unknown Speaker 38:42
I'll read. But Tello while you're looking.
Unknown Speaker 38:48
It's from the fast poop factory.
Speaker 1 38:55
It contains 100 grams of extra poop. Oh, good, extra extra poop
Speaker 2 39:02
may contain traces of butts. You got some of your butt in my poop, damn it. I hate when that happens.
Speaker 1 39:14
Nothing tastes better. Oh, nothing tastes better with buttella
Speaker 2 39:22
and then, oh my gosh, made with loads of all natural ingredients, including corn. I was hoping
Unknown Speaker 39:34
corn, prunes and
Speaker 2 39:39
dates, one taste of patella, and you will dump the rest spread on thick for that real poop flavor you just can't forget. Oh yeah. But then we got some ingredients, recycled corn first cycle. There it is. Finally, we got corn, organic, recycled corn. We have chewed dates, pooped prunes,
Unknown Speaker 40:10
toilet paper pulp.
Speaker 2 40:17
Toilet paper Oh, wait, toilet paper pulp, digestive acid and nuts. Oh nuts. I wonder if they have a nut free version. Yeah, you gotta look out for Brandon, yes, make sure he can have batilla. I'm so glad I got them. Yeah, that's awesome. Hell yeah, yeah. It played out so perfectly, too, just being the last one. Yep, so excited. Yep, oh my gosh. Have so many that was like, wrappers. I'm gonna take a picture of all my wrappers. Yeah, the wrappers and yeah, maybe we'll get all the stickers, and then all the pieces too, yeah, um, so we can go through, oh, yeah, yeah. So this is, I just have the little pamphlet that has all of them.
Speaker 1 41:07
Um, so there's a section that says real liquid, and it has IV on instead of Evian, has closed with has eyeballs inside. It has closed with a little eyeball up top. And then there's a Bartel number two, oh, my gosh.
Unknown Speaker 41:29
Oh, there's a smell,
Unknown Speaker 41:32
said scented.
Speaker 2 41:37
Oh, my God. I was I'm sorry I couldn't stop myself from smelling it. Did you smell it before or after you saw it was scented after would have been a really big surprise. All right, here we go.
Speaker 2 42:03
Yeah, that definitely smells like fucking shit. Yeah. It has that spot that just hits your, like, that part of your nose that's like,
Speaker 1 42:15
yeah, that is, um, oh, are there any other scents making sure, yeah, I'm gonna have to wash my hands. I got a little oh my god, my face, laughter too.
Unknown Speaker 42:30
Okay, um,
Speaker 1 42:33
so yeah, fart, fartel number two, and then there's Oh Licht M instead of Lipton. Oh, it has teeth inside of a bottle. And then there's toxic glow. There's fish skirts instead of whisker. Or skis spit, yeah, why doesn't say whiskers? That doesn't Oh, the second nugget circle in the dark, nice. Oh, cool, okay, oh yeah, um, Terry, something's toenail tacos. Okay, toenail.
Unknown Speaker 43:21
So another racist thing Kansas,
Unknown Speaker 43:26
I cannot read that. Oh, Terry's famous.
Speaker 2 43:31
Oh, yeah, yeah, I think you're right. And then there's an initial in the middle, Terry s famous, maybe, oh no, I think it's like an apostrophe. S Oh, Tony's famous toenail tacos, dude, you guys, this is, like, so small to read like it is, we're not over exaggerating. This is like, Yeah, it's crazy. Like people with like, 2020 vision would have struggled with this. That's my I mean, the racism is my number one complaint, but that's my number two complaint. We need a better magnifying glass. Maybe, yes, for sure. Yeah, this is like a Barbie magnifying glass.
Speaker 1 44:11
Let's see. Do you want to read some of them? There's a lot more. I don't want to hog up. Oh no,
Speaker 2 44:19
man, you may be better at reading them than me. I can't fucking see shit. Oh, shit. Yeah, I'm sorry. I realized I just passed it off to you. And this next one's like bullshit to read. I don't know what it says. So like, A, A, R, P,
Speaker 1 44:35
oh, it's like that popsicle brand. Oh, okay, I think it's like poop sickle. Oh, I wonder if we could just Google this and have, like, a good idea. There is a QR code, I think I said, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 2 44:51
I'm like, My eyes can't handle it. Genius, genius, genius. It's that poop smell got me sharp.
Unknown Speaker 45:02
I like to whiff proof in the morning.
Speaker 2 45:08
Okay, I want to see all the Oh, my God, come work with us. There's a carnivorous thing right under, Okay, I gotta click it. It's a fucking sign. Okay, we're gonna have to move to some Oh, to India, the UK, New Zealand, Bentonville, which is Arkansas, Milan or Medina, which is in Italy. It sounds like it could have totally been a non American racist person. That means fortune cookie. Oh shit. There's a lot of locations. There's one in LA Minneapolis, Thailand, Denmark, Canada, Mexico, France is this fucking with me. How are they this many locations? There's also a Seattle, all right, well, I guess we'll let you guys know if there's any positions that we apply for. Yeah, I would live in our research and development. I think
Speaker 1 46:14
that could work for me. Oh, they don't have any positions for that. Anyway. Cool, um, let's see, I don't see the little pamphlet, though, too. They have a lot of different fucking toys. Oh, they have one that makes them a prime. Oh, okay, we'll probably see that on the pamphlet. Yeah, I don't see like a thing to just look at them. Son of a bitch on the site. Could you say there's one that makes you want to want to cry?
Unknown Speaker 46:45
Oh, no, yeah, I'm on my period.
Unknown Speaker 46:49
They have one for prime
Speaker 2 46:54
or whatever's energy drink. There's a video
Speaker 3 46:58
mega gross media and grosser than ever. Mini brands made into barf worthy jokes with rare minis, juicy collect all 40 before they get flushed by surprise. Mega gross mini series two from Zuru.
Speaker 1 47:15
I feel like we're gonna have to look for the first series. Because I think this is a this is the second Yeah, kind of want to see what the first one has to offer. Um, so, but yeah, I guess we have to keep going through on this pamphlet. There's I poo, instead of like iPod, little headphone things, and they're like, sliding out of the case with, like, a bunch of diarrhea
Speaker 2 47:51
on it. We got that one popsicle brand, yeah, oh, I think
Speaker 1 47:57
it's actually just popsicle. Is the brand name? Poop sickle. There's a monster one called, just called maggots. Mag Oh, magter, I think, with the the M I wish I could read more of a I know
Speaker 2 48:19
there's Listerine. Lister rotten and it has little bugs on it.
Speaker 1 48:27
I cannot read this one with like the yellow packet in the bowl of like green to me, either. Oh, is that supposed to be like a ramen packet? Oh, it's like a instead of, what's the
Speaker 2 48:47
super common? Yeah, yeah. I can't think of the name, but oh, I think there's a regular version and a glow in the dark version. Oh, this one. Oh, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1 48:59
And then what's the there's a beer. Maybe got some mayonnaise. Oh, mayonnaise. Oh yeah, you're right, maggot, hairy tongues,
Unknown Speaker 49:14
something Tang.
Unknown Speaker 49:20
What in the fuck is what in the
Unknown Speaker 49:26
and then there's a, oh, okay, a funk
Speaker 1 49:36
sticker for it's called the John. Was the name of the Funko Bardo poop, the John. It's got a big old turd coming out of it.
Unknown Speaker 49:46
We got the Chucky sneeze.
Speaker 1 49:50
And then there's one of those. What were those? Those little like shop, those like
Speaker 2 49:57
pink windows. Hello. Yes, yes. It says Lou surprise, like a doll on the toilet,
Speaker 1 50:08
poop, poop ball, spooky. I can't read what it says under there. And then there's BBs.
Unknown Speaker 50:19
It's like a burrito with a bunch of poop coming out of it.
Speaker 1 50:24
BBs, red bug burritos. Oh, bed bug burritos. Oh, okay, bed bugs. Oh. And honestly, too, the burrito skin or the tortilla looks like it has on it. Yeah. And, my God, there's a backside too, yeah, I know shit. So much fun to be had, yeah, um, and then there's a another toy ball, one kidney, surprise. Oh, for the other Kinder ball, yeah, kidney. Surprise is that, oh, picture of kidneys, he and then one another toy ball that says messed up brands, and it just has a bunch of goo and maggots. Um, let's see
Unknown Speaker 51:21
dog log,
Speaker 1 51:25
fake dog turn. Yeah, I can't remember what the candy is that's making fun of, but yeah,
Unknown Speaker 51:33
spittles Instead of Skittles, that one's gross,
Speaker 1 51:38
but I can't read that one. Buttons, buttons, stinky butter.
Unknown Speaker 51:51
Button, ski
Speaker 2 51:56
button, Sky butter. I don't know that's, I don't get what the first thing is. I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time. Oh, some of these are maybe, like, the toenail tacos is on here again. I guess there's a different version of it. Yeah, the first one was the glow in the dark. Oh, glow in the dark, yeah. So there's four that are glow in the dark, but they have non glow in the dark versions. And there's a crock with like, toes coming out of it. That one's pretty cool. Oh yeah, it's a whole foot, and the foot has a bone coming up. I like that. It has, like the tag on the croc stone.
Speaker 1 52:34
Oh, here's the the prime ones making fun of prime. They have like a green version, and then also the red, white and blue version. It's got just like a nose with a bunch of stuff coming out of it.
Speaker 2 52:48
We got Jamie's old lice, and then I eye cream, or what was it called? Ice cream? Yo, puss yogurt. Yo. Oh, yeah, like yo plus, yo play, yeah, you'll play. Okay, yo play. I cannot tell what the iPhone looking one says. I think it's just literally an iPhone, oh, because it's an eye, yeah, it's just an iPhone with, like a eye with a little nerve thing wrapped around it.
Unknown Speaker 53:24
Got mine bar.
Speaker 1 53:27
I cannot fucking tell. Wow, no idea.
Unknown Speaker 53:32
I wonder if we could take a picture and blow it up
Speaker 1 53:38
almost just looks like the shelf on the shelf, and I'm probably gonna cut out a lot of the silence space of us trying to read this. So if, if you guys are like, I didn't take you long to read that stuff. Yes, it did. I still can't tell. It does look like it says smell.
Unknown Speaker 53:56
I took a picture, but yeah, I can't tell.
Speaker 1 54:01
Yeah, I think it's a smell, which I guess is just like a smelly elf, but it's like, maybe, oh, it doesn't say it's scented, smelly elf. I'd like to fuck. The only scented one is the fucking shit. At least we got crazy, that is, it's rare. This has a elf shitting on a toilet with a poop hat, and it says, Mary sniffness,
Speaker 2 54:31
let's see the last one. Oh, that's the fish screws one again, the kitty food, oh, and the nuggets, the non glow chicken nuggets. Uh, I wonder, can you tell if you got the glow in the dark one or not of the nuggets?
Speaker 1 54:47
I don't think so. Okay, it might need to charge a little bit too, if it's like, since it was in the ball. Oh, it may be just like, based off of how they do their slime thing. It's hard to tell if it's that glow in the dark material or not, because, like, the non glow in the dark ones definitely look like it too. It has a weird smell, just like, weird, plastic, weird. The fucking slime smell better than, like, all this, yeah, just smelled like, I don't know, like a generic glitter lotion you would get as a kid.
Speaker 2 55:25
This was a wild ride, yeah, oh, did you say? What stickers you got? I'm sorry. Oh, one of them was shitty, yeah? Dr, Popper, okay. Cool. Yeah, nice. Cool. This was exciting one. Yeah, that was good. That was, like, a nice, exciting thing as of recent. Yes, it was. I can't wait to play with my new toys. So we're a blind box podcast now, yeah, and it's like, doubly blind, because you can't see it to you a blind, blind box. We'll definitely have pictures of everything on Instagram that way. When you're listening to this, you're not, like, what the fuck yeah, you can actually see and, I mean, you may or may not be able to read them. You'll probably won't be like in a picture, since we struggled so much, but yeah, oh, maybe we can type the descriptions and the caption. Oh, yeah, if we can read them, maybe I'll get, I have a headlamp. Maybe I'll get my head lamp and get the magnifying glass, like a jewelers like
Speaker 1 56:43
thing, yeah. So, um, hey, you know, if you're ever like, I want to send something to the nervous laughter podcast. This would be fun.
Speaker 2 56:53
First editions, that'd be cool. Yes, yes, we will gladly accept them.
Unknown Speaker 57:02
And you should gladly
Speaker 2 57:06
follow and like on Instagram, yes, and tell your friends. Maybe your friend loves the taste of patella. Tell them about our podcast. Yeah. And if you like miniatures and gross stuff, and this was like, you know, this is a perfect little combination of the two.
Unknown Speaker 57:25
Yes, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 57:29
there's so many textures to touch on. I
Speaker 2 57:33
can't wait to look at all the details. Yeah, I did not think these would be so detailed. Like, yeah, Jamie and I had a whole episode planned with, like, actual shit, and this was gonna be like a two minute thing, yeah, and then it turned into the whole episode. So, but yeah, hey, I'm pleasantly surprised. Yeah, for the next episode, it was an interesting journey. Yeah, thank you for these little treats. They were quite the light, good, good, Winnie, the treats and and all the horrors, sometimes you need a box of sick and nuggets, you know. Yeah, deal with the horse.
Unknown Speaker 58:14
I weirdly like these. Sorry. I just keep looking at it, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 58:19
Definitely feel inspired to maybe
Speaker 2 58:24
make up some of my own Yeah, person on Instagram, and I'll go and look, and I'll put it in the show notes, but I think maybe it's the account is called the obvious plant, but they'll make fake toys and put them in stores. Really goofy, off the wall. Shit like this is that the guy that did the thing to kiss insects. That sounds right, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 58:53
That shit was so cute. It was just like, Have you ever wanted to kiss the insect? Yeah?
Speaker 1 59:00
Super cute, but yeah, if you know of anything, feel free to also write us an email or, you know, Instagram message and um, I can party on party on poop on you.