Take a daunting trip down memory with Alyssa and Jamie this episode and more!
The ladies share a couple of revived memories that have haunted them, involving a little B.D.B., gurl.com, and WhatsHerFace. Alyssa also shares a couple awkward things she’s done recently, that get them in stitches.
Jamie covers a couple of recent weird stories she came across in the news. One involves aggressive pantsing (to inspire Alyssa in her pantsing war with Car Boy #3) and the other is related to jarred farts. This also spawns off a quick dive into a few weird things that have been sold online.
Alyssa talks about Melissa Joan Hart's episode of CRIBS. It wound up being really weird and there was lots of Shirley Temple.
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
The socials: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Just say some stuff real quick. I just want to make sure it's picking up
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Melissa Joan Hart, Melissa Joan Hart!!
Unknown Speaker 0:26
All right, we're rolling.
Unknown Speaker 0:28
So on the way here, I started thinking about this memory from seventh grade, it randomly popped into my head as you do. And this guy that I had a crush on, we were talking on AOL Instant Messenger. And he was like, Do you want to see my bong? And I thought, it was a peener for some reason? And I was like, no, like, No, I don't want to see that. No. I was on my grandma's computer and I thought that somehow she would find out. And then he sent it, and it was an actual bong, obviously. And I didn't know what it was. And he was like, just kidding. I don't have a bong. And then the next day I saw him and I felt really nervous, like he knew that I was stupid.
Unknown Speaker 1:20
Were you like, "what a lovely vase?"
Unknown Speaker 1:25
Yeah, I don't know why if I'm wrong would mean.
Unknown Speaker 1:30
I mean, I could see. I can kind of see that. Yeah, like as a kid. It's just like Dong. Dong, bong. Kind of like a
Unknown Speaker 1:41
bong dong balls
Unknown Speaker 1:46
That's my new slogan for life.
Unknown Speaker 1:51
B D, wait. Bong Dong, B. dB. dB. B.
Unknown Speaker 2:02
Good old BDB Welcome to nervous laughter Podcast. I'm Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 2:07
I'm Alyssa. We're winging it today. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 2:14
Oh, never mind that I'm just free balling I was thinking. For some reason, I was like free winging, free balling. That's what it is. We can be done on Bollin. Might I ask what your AOL screen name was? Actually, I
Unknown Speaker 2:32
don't remember his mine. I really liked Kittie. I will say it was brackish 1001. It was probably like Lowercase Capital lowercase. Yeah. And I remember.
Unknown Speaker 2:47
Um, I didn't use like a aol and stuff. But this like email that I used in name I kind of started using for everything was a XxJamie face.
Unknown Speaker 3:01
Good one. My first email was really embarrassing. I was like really obsessed with the 60s and 70s. And I thought that candy was like a really cool hippie name. So my email address was candis_groovie_mail@gurl.com
Unknown Speaker 3:19
Mail. Oh, like email? Yeah.
GURL Oh, which is like, a cool site for teens. And I told my actually now sister in law is like, Hey, you should go to girl calm. But I didn't tell her it was a you. And it took her to porn.
Unknown Speaker 3:37
Oh, I've had that happen to me quite a few times. It's really cool. You check it out? Yeah. Like, you remember, like Salad Fingers and stuff. So his website is I think it's fat dash pie. But if you just go to fat pie without the dash as a whole. Um, did you ever go to like, what's her face.com? Or like any of those, like, Barbie or Barbie? Kind of related toy websites? No. I love those. Okay, yeah, well, are they? It's just like, so what's your face was that doll that you could stamp the face on? And then the website just had like a bunch of different like, faces. Yeah, just some stuff like that. And then also just games and like fashion sections and stuff. Um, I remember I went to a friend's house and I would always play. We'd always play that and other shit. But she went to the bathroom and then this pop up just like popped up. And I remember it's so like, you can see it right clearly. Yeah. It was a woman a naked woman. Standing in front of like an L and kind of like, you know, kind of holding its trunk a little bit. I was like, oh my god and then she she came back from the bathroom. She's like, What is that her dad came over? Well, I mean, turns out like, find out years and years later that he had like, kind of like a problem with like, all that stuff. And so he was like blaming it on me. He was like, Oh, why are you looking? So fucked up? Like, I didn't even touch anything. And I was like, just like submitted me to this and now like I
Unknown Speaker 5:30
do. Um, but yeah, what a time.
Unknown Speaker 5:37
Yeah, early internet, I was like, looking at Hamsterdam. Calm, it was like articles talking about getting your period. And then every once in a while, somebody would write in and ask like, what a handjob was. So stuff, girl stuff
Unknown Speaker 5:55
happening to like, be the adult like working that website? Like, why are all these 12 year old girls I know at hand.
Unknown Speaker 6:03
Like God damn it.
Unknown Speaker 6:04
Um, since you talked about one story, but just like you thought about from seventh grade or whatever, I just want to share one story, but just keeps like bleeding into my brain. Like when I tried to sleep when I'm brushing my teeth, just any random time during the day. Um, and maybe this will be therapeutic and help it leave my brain. So one time I went to this little restaurant bar thing was some friends. And we had some drinks, some appetizers, and then we left. We just like went to the beach. We're like, oh, let's just run down to the beach for just a little bit. We'll come back and grab our cars. So like, less than an hour later, we came back. I was like, Oh, I'm just gonna run a nice bathroom before we leave. And so I go to the bathroom on my way there. This waitress is like, oh, you know, it's for customers only almost like, Oh, I was like, I was like, I was literally like, just here. Like, I just bought some drinks and stuff. I'll buy another one. When I'm done use the bathroom. I have to use the bathroom really bad. And so I went to the bathroom. And then when I come out, she's like standing outside with her fucking like manage with the manager or owner or whatever. And he was like, in my face about it. He was like, it's only for customers, blah, blah, blah. I was like, I was like, oh, no, like I was I was just here. Like, I just had some drinks with my friends and some snacks and stuff. And I just had to come back in and use the bathroom is like we went down to the beach for a hot minute. And like, I was like, I'll buy another drink. Like I just explained to her had to go really bad. And he just like pulled this wad of cash out of his pocket. He's like, I don't need your money. Bla bla bla bla. I just like was like I was like I didn't mean to like do anything like
Unknown Speaker 7:53
am a paying customer here
Unknown Speaker 7:55
sit on the floor went to the pool. Yeah, like
Unknown Speaker 7:59
and the waitress looked like she felt really bad and I hope she felt really looking explain to her and then she did that shit. And um, but yeah, I definitely like cried about that. I want to say it was probably I was probably well being up in front of them.
Unknown Speaker 8:18
I don't blame you. confrontations like that. Yeah, large men shouting and yeah, I wish I would have freaked out. And it's not
Unknown Speaker 8:27
like they had like a, like a shit ton of people in there. It was like maybe like, three tables of people. And I was like, I was just here with a table full of people. We like walk down to the beach for like 20 minutes or whatever. And like, we're coming like I was gonna I just had to pee while I'll buy more things if you want. I just helped me use your bathroom. Like
Unknown Speaker 8:53
she said. Did you ever go back there? Did you tell all your friends like, oh, no,
Unknown Speaker 8:59
I never want to there's a little cat fight in the window? No. Um, but yeah, no, I never went back there. I don't think I ever really talked to anyone about it was just like, internalizing it forever. And now you're free. Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that place didn't last very long so that guy can
Unknown Speaker 9:22
fuck off. Yeah, if you're listening right now book Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 9:25
fuck you guy. You suck at running Bar Restaurant things
Unknown Speaker 9:31
I want to cache is last
Unknown Speaker 9:35
Yeah, cuz you yell
Unknown Speaker 9:36
at young lady. The lady
Unknown Speaker 9:42
did something weird this week. Please. Sure. Well, it's pretty normal for me but it's funny because carboy number three knew exactly what I did. So I got in the house and did some stuff and then I came back out to the shop because our shop office right behind our house. And there was a car shop car shop. Yeah. Not a convenience store. To clarify for anyone. I have worked at a convenience store though,
Unknown Speaker 10:14
that groceries, I worked at rouses grocery and Lowe's, I'd never want to do retail again. But continue with your fucking
Unknown Speaker 10:22
devil customers. So I walked in the office, and there was a customer in there, which I wasn't expecting. But I didn't want to turn around and walk out because that would look rude. So I just walked into the shop in went in this walled off area where we have supplies, and just played on my phone for a minute. It looked like I was doing so. And then I went to leave and then I ran into something and you know, everybody saw the house.
Unknown Speaker 10:58
I thought I was the lead what were leading up to
Unknown Speaker 11:02
oh, now they get the house and then carboy number three came in and he was like, did you just walk out into the shop and like stand there for a minute? I was like Yep, exactly. Clay on my phone called out.
Unknown Speaker 11:31
What's your problem
Unknown Speaker 11:39
Oh, another car related thing that I just remember. This week. I went out somewhere. Well, just my rent. But this guy was like, Oh, I have a station wagon. And he was like, Oh, is that like a? I don't know. station wagon cars are like he 24 And like numbers and letters and stuff. And he's like, Oh, is it that? And I was like and then I totally forgot what kind of car I had. Just said oh, I know
Unknown Speaker 12:38
I mean, that's how I wound up with 300,000 miles on my car
Unknown Speaker 12:48
I was like fuck the life there's a follow up question
Unknown Speaker 12:57
Oh, my stomach kind of hurts. Was there any follow up question?
Unknown Speaker 13:02
No, thank god like What the Oh,
Unknown Speaker 13:14
there was one story that I came across in an article that reminded me of you but I want to tell you about
Unknown Speaker 13:21
is it about crystal balls? My accessory?
Unknown Speaker 13:25
No, it's about it's pantsing related. Oh, okay. So I'm just gonna read it from this article from The Guardian. Um, the article is high ranking. Tennessee Republican apologizes after apparent attempt to pants ref so he has apologized after he was rejected from my high school basketball game after confrontation with the referee. The stuffed Whoa, that's a word I've never come across for I was D ust up like I want to say dubstep but I know it's not what it is.
Unknown Speaker 14:08
Wait, do u s t up?
Unknown Speaker 14:11
Yeah, just the the stuff that the stop Hold on. I'm going to Google I think it's dubstep like
Unknown Speaker 14:19
dust dust up Oh, dust dust up
Unknown Speaker 14:21
a fight or coral? Let me see how the book is that a word from the dust up? Oh. Okay, so
Unknown Speaker 14:33
before you call me dumb, this is one word.
Unknown Speaker 14:35
Okay, so we're trying to fucking word before leader will again. And if I just
Unknown Speaker 14:41
heard someone say dust up I would have assumed it was two different words. Yeah, but anyway, you guys learned something from this podcast finally. So the desktop included what happened? What appeared to be a failed attempt at pulling down the officials pants according to video footage. And he tweeted about it said I acted a fool tonight. I'm hoping to be able to make it right. With a screencap of a Facebook post from his that says, For years I thought how wrong it was when a parent loses their temper at a sporting event. It's not Christian and it's not mature. And it's embarrassing to the child have always been my thought what? And it's embarrassing to the child have always been my thoughts. Oh, okay. I see how they're phrasing it. Unfortunately, I acted like the full tonight and lost my temper on the roof. I was wanting him to fight me totally lost my junk and got booted lost his job.
Unknown Speaker 15:42
You know, heard that saying
Unknown Speaker 15:45
we Mueller lost my junk and got booted from from the from the gym. He has a little typos here. I've never really lost my temper, but I did tonight. And it was completely stupid of me emotions, getting in the way of rational thoughts and never good are never good. I hope to be able to find the ref and ask for his forgiveness.
Unknown Speaker 16:07
I was bad wrong. Bad wrong.
Unknown Speaker 16:12
Okay. There's a lot to unpack here. Um, the idea of a man just, like aggressively pantsing another man is very disturbing to me.
Unknown Speaker 16:26
And that's him like attempting to fight like get him to fight him. But yeah, no, I agree. Like, I don't swear what kind of world do we live in? Where men pants men? aggressively.
Unknown Speaker 16:39
I'm just conservative. I just think it should be a man and a woman
Unknown Speaker 16:47
I want to apologize to my wife.
Unknown Speaker 16:51
That's so fucking wait. Like what was he gonna do after he got his pants down? Like, kick his
Unknown Speaker 16:57
point in life? I don't know. Yes, it's
Unknown Speaker 17:00
a psychological warfare humiliation tactic.
Unknown Speaker 17:04
Maybe the rough would have tried to pants him. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 17:09
You know what? Maybe. So if the painting was successful, he would
Unknown Speaker 17:14
have been really embarrassed if the roof had just like a huge donger painter. I want to say that painter has become like a normal term that I use in my daily life. Painter
Unknown Speaker 17:30
painter you have 15 different mix drinks of all different liquors. And then you just shout painter from the rooftops Phil's Great.
Unknown Speaker 17:43
asked me about my penis. Um, oh, sorry.
Unknown Speaker 17:50
I was just gonna say that's a fucking weird story that just popped up on your newsfeed.
Unknown Speaker 17:54
Yeah. I don't know if it popped up on Oh, no, no, I was I was just kind of like looking around different websites for just like weird news and stuff. Because I was like, I can I can update this. And so this was January 4 2022. So pretty recent. Um, I gotta say new love is closing line. I was bad wrong. Bad wrong. Bad wrong.
Unknown Speaker 18:17
That was very bad. Wrong.
Unknown Speaker 18:19
That was bad wrong of us. Are you gonna make it good, right?
Unknown Speaker 18:23
No, make it good, right. But I'll tell you this. I'm never gonna stop pantsing carboy number three, I'll never give up. But what if it turns aggressive? My mail almost got ripped off. It looks good. This week. I got nervous I guess and bit my nails, which I haven't done in a long time. So you can't see the scary line anymore. Or it's been back a little bit well.
Unknown Speaker 18:51
My dad used to I don't know why this made me think of that. But my dad used to put like Cayenne or whatever on my sister's nails cuz she used to bite them so bad. So my parents put like hot stuff on it to make yourself
Unknown Speaker 19:03
and now she loves spicy.
Unknown Speaker 19:07
I found another story this week. I'm hoping you didn't already hear about this one. So I kind of wrote this out instead of making bullet points. So former 90 Day fiance star Stephanie matto has recently been hospitalized from her personal business of selling fart bars. jars, making these jars available since November 2021. She managed to make $200,000 from lists. She also had a holiday sale but outside of the that the jars were all things um, but outside of that the jars were a whopping 1000 A jar. Um, and there were so much demand for 1000 Yeah, so
Unknown Speaker 19:58
here you go. I only got five seconds.
Unknown Speaker 20:02
No, yeah, so 1000 a jar? Um, yeah, so she made a lot.
Unknown Speaker 20:07
I don't want to speak for
Unknown Speaker 20:08
you, but I'll speak for myself if anyone listening wants to buy one of my farts $1,000 Like, let me know otherwise, I won't. On natural. Oh, well.
Unknown Speaker 20:24
She did a bunch of nervous laughter special holiday special. Yeah. Um, and there was so much demand for her farts that at one point she cranked out $97 in a couple days. Are you willing to go to that length Elissa?
Unknown Speaker 20:42
Two days she made 97 grand?
Unknown Speaker 20:45
No, she made 97 jars. Fart jars in two days. So
Unknown Speaker 20:49
Debbie 90 said it
Unknown Speaker 20:51
so I didn't catch what you're putting down on them.
Unknown Speaker 20:55
Boy did the math wrong. Say I can see why he didn't
Unknown Speaker 20:59
know $700 million.
Unknown Speaker 21:04
That's crazy.
Unknown Speaker 21:05
She traveled 900,000 miles. Um, she says the farts are our most prominent in the first two days of the jarring process. But she she likes to say one live black one with makes memories that last a lifetime. Lifetime. She talked about her process on an Instagram video saying I like to get things rolling with some beans, a protein muffin, sometimes even a yogurt. Less sugar is better. Some hard boiled eggs. And she also mentions that protein shakes make it smell worse. While waiting for these first to develop, I like to read. I'm very smart. I love to read.
Unknown Speaker 21:50
I'm very smart.
Unknown Speaker 21:51
I mean, she is a business lady. Yeah, well, and I also wrote I'm pretty sure that last part is for the lols because she actually seems pretty funny. When she was answering the question, why do you think people buy my farts? She said because I have a great personality. And then just kind of like left along Plaus and there was like, cuz I'm hot. So yeah, she seems to have a good sense of humor in Boston. Yeah, get it. Boss, Lady girl. Sounds like something I would tell my cat. Um, I'm only two months into the fart because she had to get out for health concerns, which is when she landed in the hospital.
Unknown Speaker 22:31
And I put too much gas.
Unknown Speaker 22:35
She was interviewed by jam press stating I remember within one day I had about three protein shakes and a huge bowl of black bean soup. I could tell that something was not right. That evening when I was laying in bed and I could feel a pressure in my stomach moving upward. It was quite hard to breathe. And every time I tried to breathe, breathe in. I'd feel a pinching sensation around my heart. Both terrified. Yeah. So she figured she might be suffering from a heart attack. And that's when she decided to go to the hospital. Um, that was fortunately not the case. It was severe gas pains and she was advised to change her diet and take gas suppressants. Needless to say, she has to did her last two and will no longer be selling jars.
Unknown Speaker 23:20
The fart is easy.
Unknown Speaker 23:27
Just poof, like a puff of gas. Um, and I felt like I couldn't talk about that without mentioning. Belle Delphine? Are you familiar with Belle Delphine at all?
Unknown Speaker 23:42
It sounds so familiar. But my brain isn't competing who that is. So
Unknown Speaker 23:46
I think the best way I can kind of just sum her up is she's basically an internet personality persona character. Okay. And yeah, she's been trying to kind of edge into the porn industry. Um, so I wrote when Bell noticed a common comment of fans saying that I would drink her bathwater. She decided to do just that when she was 19 part of her persona as being a gamer girl type thing. So this was Gamer Girl bathwater, and it sold for the price of $30 a jar. And
Unknown Speaker 24:29
she's probably shorting herself. $30 is a very nice Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 24:32
especially like, so I agree. I think she shortening herself especially after hearing about the 2000 $1,000 for fun even like a tangible thing.
Unknown Speaker 24:41
But
Unknown Speaker 24:43
um, to be fair, I think it takes more to process a fart. Okay, stuff Yeah, cuz like she hasn't had a certain diet and everything.
Unknown Speaker 24:55
She's got to train. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 24:56
she's got to get those muscles going and Bath waters just like when we just sit here
Unknown Speaker 25:02
for like an hour maybe pee a little bit
Unknown Speaker 25:08
you know and I was trying to find some other like weird stuff people have sold like on the internet for money but I didn't hadn't really come across stuff it was just like you know like grilled cheese it has Jesus in it no yeah like another like weird one was like people selling their rigidities through like bidding like eBay and stuff like that, although I think eBay has taken them down when they come up, but they'll continue on other websites. But in my research, I kind of found that like none of these came to fruition like there is no deal ever made. It was just kind of started up as a hoax or just started up with no follow through. And that also made me think about Gwyneth Paltrow is like vagina candle, which I decided to look into. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm dumb, and I thought that she actually tried to make a candle that smelled like her vagina. Oh, that's
Unknown Speaker 26:04
what I thought too.
Unknown Speaker 26:05
It's not it's just like
Unknown Speaker 26:07
it's kind of a bummer.
Unknown Speaker 26:09
So her company goop has became known for her candle the smells like my vagina, which the website describes as this candle is made with duranium, citrusy
Unknown Speaker 26:22
bergamot. Ah,
Unknown Speaker 26:23
I never know how to say that word.
Unknown Speaker 26:26
And cedar absolutes juxtapose with the with the mask rose and Ambrette seed to play in mind. Yeah, I'm sorry your vagina does not smell like this.
Unknown Speaker 26:38
But
Unknown Speaker 26:40
supposed to put us in the mind of fantasy seduction and sophisticated warmth. Oh, exactly what I think when I think of vagina I'm um, so yeah, it doesn't actually smell like actual vagina sorry to let everyone down. But she also has more candles like the smells like my orgasm. And the smells like my prenup.
Unknown Speaker 27:03
We have a balls candle
Unknown Speaker 27:05
smells like my husband shredded bowels. Um, and these are also available and other products like roll on perfumes.
Unknown Speaker 27:13
Oh, so you know Do you know how much they cost? Oh,
Unknown Speaker 27:19
I didn't write down the price but look it up. I mean anything more than I don't think I want to pay more than like $25 for good artists on candle that's like angry cuz I think it was like eight ounces. It wasn't like a big candle or something. Let's see.
Unknown Speaker 27:34
goop vagina candle.
Unknown Speaker 27:37
No, I never been with a buddy that stuck in my head. Oh shit. It's
Unknown Speaker 27:43
$75
Unknown Speaker 27:46
How many ounces let's see. Oh, I
Unknown Speaker 27:49
got a pop up for 10% off. Oh, cuz I was almost thinking like oh, I'll get it for us and we can light it and get her a view but
Unknown Speaker 27:59
not come by use one.
Unknown Speaker 28:04
Oh 10.5 ounces. So for a candle it's not even that big. Yeah, it's not even like a Bath and Bodyworks can't it's like a
Unknown Speaker 28:11
we're holding our hands in small circles.
Unknown Speaker 28:15
It's like yeah, like a few mouthwash cups.
Unknown Speaker 28:21
worth of candle
Unknown Speaker 28:25
is a really common unit of measurement.
Unknown Speaker 28:30
Stuffing mouthwash cups football fields, your height get that measurement shut out um
Unknown Speaker 28:40
oh back to the selling stuff online. That comes up on my tic tock all the fucking time like there's girls that you know of course talk about selling their underwear and they come across not to men request to like certain things like workout underwear and like period underwear. Yeah, all this stuff. And then I see all these other people on my feed that are they must be doing something like only fans who have a following because otherwise how else could you do this? But they sell like their literal trash. Like really deodorant stuff. Like, like their empty deodorant thing, like just literal trash. Oh, like their Kleenex is. I mean, I've seen girls talking about selling pretty much anything. And I'm like, that is the dream to blow my nose in something. And then I make like $30 That'd be great. Well,
Unknown Speaker 29:43
Scarlett Johansson had sold a there's a tissue of hers that sold for a shit ton of money. Let me find it real quick.
Unknown Speaker 29:53
Oh, one time Scarlett Johansen popped up on a GS Facebook page as someone you may know.
Unknown Speaker 29:59
Oh, Let me just see no
Unknown Speaker 30:03
I wish then I could have got an inside scoop on the tissue.
Unknown Speaker 30:08
Oh, well this was okay, so this was for a charity event so cool but also what the fuck is that? USA harvest Do you have anything to donate to USA harvest? Yes my 30 Yes tissue
Unknown Speaker 30:24
dream though. Yeah, again if anybody wants to buy my tissues let me know.
Unknown Speaker 30:28
A raised $5,300 Oh, so it's pretty
Unknown Speaker 30:32
good. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 30:34
Good tissue if she can get 5300
Unknown Speaker 30:37
I can probably get like 20
Unknown Speaker 30:40
Yeah, I think that's fair. Okay. Um she might be selling yourself a little short though, but we can
Unknown Speaker 30:47
see what the demand is I should have been saving my Kleenex this from when I had pink cells
Unknown Speaker 30:51
want to say that
Unknown Speaker 30:53
box the day for like three or four days it was emptying out all the trash cans and they were just like jammed full. Oh, I could have been a billionaire.
Unknown Speaker 31:06
I'm
Unknown Speaker 31:08
Miss opportunity then you could have left this podcast. Whatever way number three for Lola Bunny backup. There was another like there was an art exhibit that was like someone was there in a depression basically, I guess in their room for a few days or a week or something. And then they sold they sold what was leftover so like the bed the bed all messy. The trash all over like Kleenex is all over. All the dirty Kleenex reminded me of that. But yeah, they made money off of it. You know, it's art. So, um, I did one time have a guy asked me for my old shoes. It weirded me out.
Unknown Speaker 31:59
Yeah, he was like, oh, it's it's not like,
Unknown Speaker 32:04
I I can't remember. I can't remember who I asked. But whatever serial killer was like, super foot fetish guy. I was like, Oh, are you related to him? And he was like, No, who is that? Like? Don't worry about it. He was like, Oh, if it's like a weird thing, like, this isn't a weird thing. I just like, collect shoes or like Converse from people around the world and shut
Unknown Speaker 32:25
off into them. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 32:28
So ah,
Unknown Speaker 32:31
yeah, I don't know. Like I can get what he was saying was like, having the sentiment of something that someone else traveled in.
Unknown Speaker 32:37
But like, again, no,
Unknown Speaker 32:40
I'm not gonna even for I don't know what it was
Unknown Speaker 32:44
just a weird situation for me to say something weird to you like, Oh, they're old they must be sweaty or something like that.
Unknown Speaker 32:51
I might be able to pull it up
Unknown Speaker 32:53
is if you're listening to this now please send Jamie some money for her hardship. Or being frightened by you
Unknown Speaker 33:05
know way never button mode money. I'm sorry. I'm gonna keep like
Unknown Speaker 33:11
so I added to my daddy. I'll do some Limp Biscuit while you look. Think about the HE SAYS SHE SAID ball. She Thank you bad to quit talking let shit slip. You'd be leaving with a fat lip. But whoop. I bet you can show
Unknown Speaker 33:28
like your programmer sweat pants. Like you were on for like a week straight. Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 33:34
was like, I've been programming in these four weeks. Yeah. food stains.
Unknown Speaker 33:41
Um, like, all I'm seeing is us talking about C++. What's that? It's a programming language. You know? I'm pretty sure it was the sky, but maybe maybe it was someone else. But a long
Unknown Speaker 33:54
time ago, I asked him because I think I was working at the plasma center whenever you asked me that. And that was like in 2018. Maybe it's far back. I don't know why I remember that. But I remember being on my lunch break there and looking at that and being like, Oh, shit.
Unknown Speaker 34:10
I might have to circle back to that. I don't think I can find it. I thought he had this very specific person messaged me on Instagram about it. But there's nothing there. It's just like him responding to a story that I had posted somewhere. And it's not like I I know. I'm saying I talked to this person. We don't talk like a lot like we briefly played like, Gears of War or something on 360 Back in the day. I have a lot of
Unknown Speaker 34:39
and he's still been thinking about.
Unknown Speaker 34:43
Anyway, continue on to some other things.
Unknown Speaker 34:48
In my search of trying to find like, weird ways that people make money and stuff. I also found out about a job called an odor judge. The majority of an odor judge's job is determining the effectiveness of various Odor Reducing products. Some subcategories of odor. Odor judge jobs are armpits sniffers paper towels my first to ensure smell free paper towel and a halitosis judge which berries to things like working with DENTAL PATIENT to patients or mouthwash companies?
Unknown Speaker 35:23
Smiley, good. COVID job breathing
Unknown Speaker 35:28
Yeah, you know, I wonder if I wonder if I've taken a hit Yeah, load or judges taking a hit and this time. But yeah, I'd hate to look, I hate to be the halitosis judge, just going around sniffing people's
Unknown Speaker 35:43
breath and do their hot breath.
Unknown Speaker 35:47
That's one of the things that I hate the most about breath is like, it's, it's hot. Sometimes it can almost be like moist. It's just gross.
Unknown Speaker 35:56
When I was getting ready to leave, he was talking about somebody coming over to get something and I was like, don't cough in their mouth, because I've been paranoid about getting COVID Any fucking cough joke he was like, and I felt his hot breath. I mean, he didn't like force the coffee. No, but he like made the hot breath. It was so gross.
Unknown Speaker 36:22
I don't like it. I don't like it.
Unknown Speaker 36:24
No, I want to get he's fired from
Unknown Speaker 36:28
I don't know what carboy number one will lick my face sometimes. Like, he'll come in to like, Give me a kiss. But like, do a like instead I'm like, stop. He's holding me and I can't get away and he just licks I'm like,
Unknown Speaker 36:47
what if you have lotion on or something and he has an anaphylactic reaction to it. Well, then maybe
Unknown Speaker 36:54
I'm looking. Alright, I'm gonna get that peanut lotion cream. carboy number three is highly allergic to peanuts. So he's
Unknown Speaker 37:08
carboy number one. Oh, whoops. There's been a cardboard mix up,
Unknown Speaker 37:13
I would go into anaphylactic shock. Oh, um, you know, one thing that I have to say about carboy number three. So, um, I think the first time I met him was at your Halloween party. I might have kind of met him if he went to Baby Metal, but I don't remember him.
Unknown Speaker 37:33
I think he was like, talking to another group. And we were like, right here at the table.
Unknown Speaker 37:38
Okay, yeah, cuz I think I sat down next to you. And I was just like, I'm scared.
Unknown Speaker 37:45
Like, I'm drunk. Talk about it with me.
Unknown Speaker 37:50
Well, and thankfully, I was wearing the last podcast on the left shirt, because you were well, I think George actually was like, Hey, she's wearing a shirt. And then you're like, hey, like, Oh, cool. Someone I can talk to you. And then I was just like, I think I just talked to you about like, cults, and at the time, I was researching the Heaven's Gate cult. Oh, yeah. Build the website and stuff. Um, yeah, I got pretty into it. Um, but anyway, I consider the first time I met cardboard number three, as your Halloween party for some reason. Your first one. And he was that actor? Burt Reynolds. Yeah. And he had the moustache and everything.
Unknown Speaker 38:37
So I just like envision him
Unknown Speaker 38:41
with like the mustache all the time. And then like, it was so weird to him without a mustache. And I was like, Okay, it's a different person. How long did it take him to grow that stash? Oh, no,
Unknown Speaker 38:53
I feel like he just sometimes they'll have one and other times he won't. I feel like he never has an in between stage he just says overnight. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 39:03
With one sense, so that's interesting.
Unknown Speaker 39:05
I think that right now he has a beard and mustache.
Unknown Speaker 39:09
But not Burt Reynolds.
Unknown Speaker 39:14
Mascara and painted it. Really? Smart idea. Yeah, I think it was mascara because I got some of the spray chip for his hair to do it black.
Unknown Speaker 39:25
Hmm. So yeah, it was good. Burt Reynolds.
Unknown Speaker 39:27
It was um Did you um,
Unknown Speaker 39:32
speaking of celebrities, do you have any? Or you said that you looked up that Melissa Joan Hart thing, right? Yeah, I'm so excited.
Unknown Speaker 39:41
Jamie had told me that thing kept popping up on her YouTube or whatever about Melissa Joan Hart on cribs.
Unknown Speaker 39:50
Yeah, it was just like you won't. Our 10 cringy cribs moments you won't or you don't remember and Melissa Joan Hart was like smiling with a Barbie doll for the day. Um,
Unknown Speaker 40:03
so let's see. Of course it took shitting notes as per usual. So you walk into your house. It's a three bedroom three bath, which is kind of considered small by crib standards. Yeah, for
Unknown Speaker 40:16
celeb cribs, like that's modest. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 40:20
So she has stairs. And like along the stairs on the wall. She has different Shirley Temple things. And Shirley Temple sheet music that's signed by Shirley Temple. And apparently she's really obsessed with Shirley Temple, which we'll circle back to
Unknown Speaker 40:39
Karen a little bit. Okay. Yeah, I just I know that Shirley Temple was quite abused. And Lee. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 40:47
if any child actor, I feel like they get fucked up. Yeah. They should never be children in any media.
Unknown Speaker 40:54
Yeah. And she was really sexualized too, wasn't she? Like, didn't they have like that?
Unknown Speaker 41:00
Like,
Unknown Speaker 41:00
baby prostitutes skit or whatever?
Unknown Speaker 41:04
I don't know about that. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 41:06
okay. Well continue on with your thing. And I'll see if I can find it as you're okay.
Unknown Speaker 41:11
So she's showing her house and she describes it as a Mediterranean Spanish style. Then she shows a toaster. She has never had a toaster before and her Oh, co star ship. Her co star and Sabrina got her a toaster. She was excited. Know that like, So lay a moon fry or whatever the girl that played Punky Brewster. She's on with
Unknown Speaker 41:39
curly hair.
Unknown Speaker 41:41
I don't remember who she is. On Sabrina.
Unknown Speaker 41:46
I've been meaning to rewatch
Unknown Speaker 41:48
Sabrina. Dude, it's so good.
Unknown Speaker 41:51
He has like some random like, things. Yeah. 90s things sprinkled in there that are like, not so great today.
Unknown Speaker 42:00
But um,
Unknown Speaker 42:03
but yeah, it's so good. And honestly, weirdly. One of the holiday episodes kind of helps me get through the holidays a little bit. Oh, nice. They're all hanging out. And then um, Salem is just like, there's worse places he can be on the holidays and with your family. And I was like, you know, that's true. Thank you. Thank you talking but, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 42:35
So the dole thing that you're thinking of?
Unknown Speaker 42:39
Was that a Shirley Temple Barbie doll? Oh,
Unknown Speaker 42:42
yes. But she has a fuckin doll. Like it's a paper towel holder. Like she just has a doll stuck in the top and then I guess she spins the paper towels
Unknown Speaker 42:52
weird. Oh, okay. Yeah, that was the picture. Okay, here's
Unknown Speaker 42:57
a close up. It's a very busted looking door.
Unknown Speaker 42:59
Is it space glued together?
Unknown Speaker 43:03
The hair that make it makes it look split.
Unknown Speaker 43:07
Okay, I did not really did not realize that's what it was in the picture. I just thought it was like a dress like a wedding. Like small wedding doll.
Unknown Speaker 43:15
She just instead of like paper towel holder, stuck in the middle. And then in her on her refrigerator. She has all these quotes that she's found in magazines that she likes and she just like, ripped them out. They're not even cut, but they're just torn. And it's just different weird shit like to go back and write down what they are and put them on the show notes things but it's like,
Unknown Speaker 43:45
one of them was really fucking
Unknown Speaker 43:47
random. Like, watch out for the volcano or something. Like these are just quotes I like, fire me. They move up to your office. And that's where the Shirley Temple Barbies are.
Unknown Speaker 44:02
Oh, no. Yeah, those are
Unknown Speaker 44:06
all Shirley Temple.
Unknown Speaker 44:07
Yeah, they're just surely temple dolls. She has more framed Shirley Temple shit in her office, and then just pictures of her. Like magazine covers framed her office. It's just her and Shirley Temple. And I guess there was a Shirley Temple movie. Because she said that she had to ship all of her Shirley Temple dolls to Australia to use them in the movie. Oh, do you ever see surely to maybe those are Melissa Joan Hart. Oh, seems something very likely that will happen. But I think that was about it. That was weird. I looked her up to see if she's ever done anything else weird. So one of the things she was on the cover of Maxim which was maybe still is I don't know. It's a men's mag. And I remember my uncle used to get it, and I would read it. Like, it's not like porn or anything, but it's like a men's magazine. Gentleman's Yeah. And they would talk about like sex stuff in it. And that was like, Oh, I'm not supposed to be reading this.
Unknown Speaker 45:18
But from girl.com
Unknown Speaker 45:23
She had a contract that said that Sabrina was never allowed to poop, poop. Poop. She's never allowed to pose naked. So she posts her Maxim and it was supposed to be hers, Melissa, but on the cover, they wrote, oh, Sabrina naked or whatever the fuck. So Archie Comics wanted to sue her because she was using Sabrina's Oh, yeah. So there was that there isn't really anything else. She kind of got in that's
Unknown Speaker 45:56
also kind of creepy cuz she's was Sabrina supposed to be a teenager? It's kind of like, oh, I don't think about it that way. Yeah, no like that. I mean, no, she was an adult. But I mean, like,
Unknown Speaker 46:06
didn't she end up going to college though? It's the college Sabrina. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. No, I'm just kind of thinking out loud. I mean, it's yeah, you're right. It's still fucking weird. But I was just remembering my show. But um, what else? Oh, and then there's another thing that I guess her son had a Jewish friend or something. And she made some comments. That was like, oh, like, I just want the friend to know Jesus and buddies Jewish. So I think she was kind of implying that like, this little Jewish kid was getting like good hell or something. I guess she's kind of religious. I didn't know that. But that's about all the controversy was Melissa Joan Hart. She's on Dancing with the Stars season nine. Oh, she did. She's pretty boring. So other than that, other than her weird dolls.
Unknown Speaker 46:58
I like her though. Oh, yeah. I think I like her.
Unknown Speaker 47:02
So much clearer. So a lot. And my dad would say Alyssa explain. Oh, pretty cool.
Unknown Speaker 47:09
Oh, that was? Um, the
Unknown Speaker 47:14
poster Carrie and I made you for Alyssa lifts at all?
Unknown Speaker 47:25
No, I have that.
Unknown Speaker 47:27
So I said I still have it. On our deep freezer habit.
Unknown Speaker 47:32
Oh, in the lady lounge. Yeah. Nice babe cave. Yeah. Um, so I found that movie that I was talking about earlier with Shirley Temple. It's called War babies. And just a little synopsis is a group of soldiers watch a dancer in a cafe. But soon things turn nasty into soldiers start buying for her attention. So this is like, very young children, like probably just have
Unknown Speaker 48:03
like barely talking age. I don't know that. They're like babies. What? This is a real movie. Yeah. It's like old back in the day. Wait,
Unknown Speaker 48:15
the babies are like the
Unknown Speaker 48:16
soldiers and shit. Yeah. And baby Shirley Temple is the exotic dancer. So they're all like, yeah, babies can do the same things as adults. Right? It's so cute. Let's do
Unknown Speaker 48:30
it. I never knew about that. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 48:33
so weird. It's fucking weird.
Unknown Speaker 48:35
Yeah, just imagine when every one of those babies like misaligned they just fucking hit it. I mean, like I mentioned the conditions on that. So
Unknown Speaker 48:45
you're probably right. And they probably like didn't let them eat until like, certain things were done or something. I mean, they probably treated them worse than like adult actors were treated back in the day. Oh, shit. They probably gave them coffee and shit to
Unknown Speaker 49:01
like, here's some cocaine. Yeah. Here's some cigarette. We'll help you lose that baby fat no, hi. No with that.
Unknown Speaker 49:19
Yeah. I don't think so. Um, thanks for listening. Check us out on our social media, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. They're all used to various degrees. Instagram is used the most. We have stickers. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 49:40
Let us know if you want stickers. Stickers. Oh, when I was thinking about the bond memory I also started thinking about street teams. Do you remember that? Pa is the thing I don't know. When and time I'm guessing. I knew about it like in the late 90s or early 2000s or whatever. You could be on a band street team and they like send you stickers and shit and you just stand and like pass them out and oh, did
Unknown Speaker 50:05
you pass out the stickers or?
Unknown Speaker 50:06
No, I tried to be one for kitty but it didn't work out but yeah if you want to be our street team and pass out stickers
Unknown Speaker 50:17
I remember used to get the PETA stickers or to PETA to Golders, PETA and PETA to pay I think Pete is basically the same thing but PETA T was like more like you know, fresher and like hit for the kids and stuff so
Unknown Speaker 50:33
yeah, I had one that was a little chick and it said I'm not a nugget.
Unknown Speaker 50:37
Yeah, so yeah, it had just like stuff like that. Um, which I wasn't vegetarian or anything. I was just like a sticker. So get your stickers today we have plenty during the during the fat head street team. The cringe crew whatever we're gonna call it Oh, that could be our crew for Marty girl. crew of cringe and we'll catch you guys later bye bye
Unknown Speaker 51:17
I might need to like circle back on that because the person that I really thought it whoa. Oh, sorry. Do I have the chair set up
Unknown Speaker 51:29
Jamie rigged my chair.
Unknown Speaker 51:34
It'll make a podcast moment