Join Alyssa & (baby) Jamie for a Thanksgiving Fathead Feast along with some turkey talk. Happy Thanksgiving Fatheads!
Join Alyssa & (baby) Jamie for a Thanksgiving Fathead Feast along with some turkey talk. Happy Thanksgiving Fatheads!
Turkey Calls | "Best Wild Turkey Hen Calling and Yelping 2" by: Jay Scott
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAS6G7Uq4Oc
Unknown Speaker 0:01
I had a memory the other day. One time I went over to this couple's house, and I saw that there were suitcases out. So I was like, oh my god, are you going on vacation? And they were like, no, just like doing some organizing. And then I ended up finding out that they were separating
Speaker 2 0:40
Oh, well, that is a type of reorganizing, I guess, reorganizing the family tree.
Speaker 1 0:51
Yes, welcome to nervous laughter podcast. Welcome Where were your fat headed moms and when we're getting a divorce?
Oh no, I was gonna say we'll never leave you.
Oh, okay, no, that one,
Unknown Speaker 1:06
yeah, I thought that that would be a good little story, because we're going to be talking about Thanksgiving, and, you know, families are
Speaker 2 1:14
fucked up, and, yeah, splitting apart or coming together.
Speaker 1 1:19
Yeah. Personally, I want to split from everyone who wears their red hat. A MAGA hat
Unknown Speaker 1:31
Oh, okay, I was like Santa Claus?
Speaker 2 1:35
I feel so innocent, naive.
Unknown Speaker 1:45
he's not even real, Alyssa,
Speaker 1 1:51
but Jamie, since you are, I guess my fat headed child, I've prepared a Thanksgiving feast for you.
Yeah, I'm excited. Thank you.
Yes, this is the only time I'll be cooking for Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2 2:08
Before we start the feast, I just want to give you these because I forgot to last time.
Unknown Speaker 2:13
Oh, oh, my God. This is a shit time it's I'm taking Jamie shitty Apple products. I love them!
Speaker 2 2:26
I have, like, probably about that much still left after I gave some to the like, recycling stuff too.
Speaker 1 2:33
Yeah, thank you. Got a bunch. But back to Thanksgiving.
Are you ready for your feast? So these are actually some products that I talked about last year, and I saw somebody post on Facebook that one of them was available, and then the other ones, I had to go to Walmart. And I looked at the clearance food, because this is very Walmart products. So, yeah, I'm using George's great grandparents China. It is a special occasion.
It is a very special occasion.
And in your wine glass there is a pumpkin spice protein shake.
Unknown Speaker 3:19
Oh, okay, okay, that's actually some kind of milk.
Speaker 2 3:22
I was like, you're like, ew, not to wash it down, Jamie, when you grow up and bones to be strong, drink your milk for Santa to be proud of me. Yeah, I didn't realize I was a serial killer's house. Oh, okay. Ooh. This is like the perfect nervous laughter podcast, Thanksgiving meal, yes, so the orangish color noodles are pumpkin pie spice ramen.
Speaker 1 3:56
Yeah, it smells a little sweet, which is quite concerning. Yeah, on the right are turkey dinner ramen noodles, and then we have the famous DiGiorno Thanksgiving pizza. Oh yeah, that was the one somebody posted on Facebook, and I was like, oh my god, I immediately went to H, E, B's website and made a curbside order because I was like, and the chocolate is just hazelnut chocolate. It's a palette cleanser.
Speaker 2 4:31
I appreciate that. All right. Well, let's dig in. I appreciate you putting this
Unknown Speaker 4:38
festive meal together for us. I want
Unknown Speaker 4:42
to start with the pumpkin spice, me too. Yeah, it was
Unknown Speaker 4:48
concerning when I opened it and smelled the sweetness. What do you think?
Speaker 2 4:57
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm just like, Huh? Gym, you can swallow it without gagging. Yeah? Not my thing.
Speaker 1 5:06
Yeah? I think I would be able to save it so I don't have to throw it away. But it's it is a little sweet.
Unknown Speaker 5:15
I'm not loving it. Yeah?
Speaker 1 5:22
No. Okay, are you going for turkey dinner, noodles dinner? Yeah, it sounds like it won't be too bad. I tried to get some veggies in there for you.
Unknown Speaker 5:37
This one actually smells okay.
Unknown Speaker 5:42
I like it, yeah, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 5:48
okay, and there's more if you
Speaker 1 5:51
need refills, because I know you're a growing girl. Baby, Jamie,
Unknown Speaker 5:57
thank you, mommy, Alyssa,
Speaker 1 5:59
you need to be strong for when Santa comes.
Unknown Speaker 6:03
Am I on the good list? Okay? And our Thanksgiving pizza,
Speaker 1 6:10
it has Detroit style gravy, which I don't know what the fuck that means. It has fried onions, green bean Turkey. And cranberry. So I tried to get everything. Tried to get us both a slice with everything on
Unknown Speaker 6:29
it. Okay,
Speaker 2 6:30
um, Detroit style gravy can refer to a few different things, most commonly the spicy savory sauce for Detroit Tony dogs, or brown sauce for Chinese, almond chicken. Okay, okay.
Unknown Speaker 6:44
I feel like Detroit gravy. Sounds like,
Speaker 1 6:48
well, something sexual, but also like, like, something like, I saw this guy make an Instagram video, and it was in New Orleans, and people were walking through like the gross Bourbon Street water. And he called it something that's what smell it. That's what I feel like, Detroit. Gravy. Hey, cheers, cheers. It smells pretty good.
Speaker 2 7:18
Not mad at it. Yeah, you know, I think I would eat it. Let me, um, yeah, I mean, I'm gonna finish it off.
Speaker 1 7:26
So, so feel free to have more. It's a square pizza, which is fun. I love square pizzas. I don't know why. Like, I'll eat them, and I do really like some of them, but
Unknown Speaker 7:39
I'd rather just, like, have a round pizza. I don't know why
Speaker 1 7:48
you didn't make this pizza in the proper shape. Dad, mom. Fine. Jamie, I'll cut the edges off and make it a circle with the middle. Okay, well, overall, I feel like that was a way better feast than I thought it would be. Yeah, yeah. It was good, um, minus the pumpkin spice ramen. Yeah. I'm glad we did that one first so that we could end on a high note. Oh, yes, have some of your wine, glass of milk, like your BJ from the righteous gemstones, that's pretty good. It kind of tastes like a candle, but I don't mind it. Yeah, it
Unknown Speaker 8:31
is like a very like strong ball taste.
Speaker 1 8:39
Yeah? Well, are you all fueled up for a Thanksgiving themed episode?
Speaker 2 8:45
Yeah, I might have another slice of pizza after. It was pretty good, yeah, good.
Speaker 1 8:50
Take them with you if you want. I asked, gee, if he was gonna have some. He was like, Fuck, no, that's not bad. I've kind of, yeah, liked it similar to, like, a Thanksgiving, like, you know, leftover sandwich, yeah, basically, yeah. I thought that the green beans might be kind of strange, but there's so much other shit on it that it just
Unknown Speaker 9:13
Yeah, yeah. It just goes. It kind
Speaker 1 9:15
of just tastes like garlic from the little crunchy onion things, oh
Speaker 2 9:19
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were those were good on it, yeah. I really liked it, excellent. Thank you for putting our feast together. Mommy, Alyssa, you're welcome,
Unknown Speaker 9:28
baby Jamie.
Speaker 1 9:31
Well, if you would like to make your own feast at home. Fat heads, I have a little menu planned out for us. I consulted someone that I consulted last year, which is Josh and Mama.
Unknown Speaker 9:48
They're still on their bullshit. If
Speaker 1 9:52
you don't remember, last year I talked about a faux apple pie, which was my. Out of crackers. Yeah, that was by Josh and Mama. So I'm going to start out with our main dish. Mama will oftentimes get a ham and put it in a crock pot with a brown sugar glaze that just looks like water, not a glaze, but sounds good, though, probably the best part of her meal. But I don't really like ham all that much, and we've come
Unknown Speaker 10:37
sorry I was going back in for more protein.
Speaker 1 10:42
Made me laugh. You just like listening so intently, drinking out of a wine glass of milk.
Unknown Speaker 10:49
It's like nice and dim in here,
Speaker 1 10:53
mood lighting. I decided, since we've kind of been on a hot dog kick, that we should follow mama's recipe of bacon wrapped hot dogs. Okay, so basically, what you're gonna do, you're gonna get a semi dirty looking pan, and you're gonna fill it with oil that could be a little old. You're gonna wrap the hot dogs in bacon, and then you'll fry them in the oil.
Unknown Speaker 11:21
Oh, okay, okay, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 11:26
old oil. There we go.
Speaker 1 11:32
Oh man, I should write to Josh and Mama and ask them to say that because, oh man, please do their accent, both of them. It's like fucking out of control.
Unknown Speaker 11:43
Yeah, that would be great to see them do that. Yeah?
Unknown Speaker 11:49
This just feels like heartburn to me.
Unknown Speaker 11:56
Oh, the bacon, yeah, the bacon
Speaker 1 11:57
wrapped hot dogs. Do you think it would make the hot dogs go down a little easier for you, since there was like a crunch element,
Speaker 2 12:06
I think so. It's not really like the
Unknown Speaker 12:11
like texture,
Speaker 1 12:13
I guess that's just the, I guess the thought of the idea that the hot dog pig ass holes. Yeah, I have a problem with the texture. Like, whenever I make hot dogs, I'll pretty
Unknown Speaker 12:25
much burn them. Oh,
Speaker 2 12:28
crispy, oh yeah. Like, if they're on the grill, I really like them, like, nice and, like, charred up.
Speaker 1 12:32
Yes, delicious. Okay, well, that's our main dish. We're gonna make a side dish of what mama called Thanksgiving pie. So you're gonna start out with a pie crust from the freezer section. Mama does not make things from scratch. Oh, okay, so Okay, well, I guess technically, this is from scratch, but you know what? I mean? Yeah, it's she's opening cans and boxes and throwing it all together.
Speaker 2 13:09
It's not Sandra Lee's semi homemade. It's mama and Josh's pretty much not home,
Unknown Speaker 13:16
trash Deluxe, semi homemade.
Speaker 1 13:20
So with your Thanksgiving pie, you're gonna throw in some canned green beans. You're gonna top it with cream of mushroom soup, okay? And then you're gonna top that with powdered mashed potatoes, like the little flakes. Yeah, that doesn't seem bad so far. This is kind of where it takes a turn for me, you're going to add rotisserie chicken on top of that. I don't think I want the chicken in my my casserole. I'm okay
Unknown Speaker 13:50
with it. Okay. I'm okay with it.
Speaker 1 13:55
Then you're going to top with rosemary, poultry seasoning and garlic powder, but you don't stir it all those seasonings are just going to sit on the top.
Unknown Speaker 14:07
Okay, that's a little weird.
Unknown Speaker 14:09
And then you're
Speaker 1 14:11
going to take you actually, like this element, the stove top dressing. Oh, red box. Oh yeah, yeah. You're going to pour that on top, and then you're going to take a stick of butter, cut it up into little pats, and then you're going to put that all over the top.
Unknown Speaker 14:29
Okay, I'm not gonna lie, I would eat it.
Unknown Speaker 14:34
So far.
Unknown Speaker 14:37
Josh and Mama, baby, Jamie approved. I love Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1 14:42
Bye. Let me get you a picture, because maybe seeing the picture is what kind of deterred me. I mean, I guess the elements on their own are fine, but I don't know. Let's see.
Unknown Speaker 14:58
I mean, I think it will. Looks good.
Speaker 1 15:04
There was something about her scooping it out and like the dried little bits of stove top, like hitting the styrofoam plate that I was like,
Speaker 3 15:13
you losing me, mama. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it just, maybe it just feels like
Unknown Speaker 15:19
to a baby like me,
Speaker 1 15:22
you should totally try to guest star on their channel. We could do like a nervous laughter Josh and mom on crossover, yeah, though
Speaker 2 15:31
the boiling oil thing would be a good introduction.
Speaker 1 15:34
Yeah. Hey guys, we're all gonna try an accident challenge today.
Speaker 2 15:41
Um, when Alyssa was showing me the video, and she said, All it needs is some cranberries and cranberry sauce, was like,
Unknown Speaker 15:47
Oh yeah, actually,
Unknown Speaker 15:51
I'll drink to that. Cheers, cheers. Okay, well,
Speaker 1 15:59
so far, Jamie's baby. Jamie's on board. Yeah, the kids Jamie's gonna be happy at the kids table. Yes, I'm smiling on Thanksgiving. I'm gonna be the coolest one at the kids table. True. This one, I feel like it might lose you. So this isn't an original Josh and Mama recipe, but they've made it, and they both really like it. It's actually a recipe by someone named the Mississippi queen. Oh, okay, see you. She spells it, K, W, E, E, N, okay. So this is a recipe for cheesy peas. Okay, cheese and peas. I never had them together, but, uh, okay, so what you're going to do, you're going to take a couple cans of peas, you put them in a pot, you're going to add what looked like, I would say, two to three tablespoons of butter, and then you're gonna get, can't remember how many slices she used, probably like four of the American cheese where they're individually wrapped, and you have to unwrap. Oh, okay, okay. You put that on the peas, and then you stir it all about. And it becomes what my friend Chris would refer to as slop
Speaker 2 17:25
That does sound like slop that sounds like how Waffle House would serve, peace, I don't know, cover it in butter and put some American cheese on it.
Speaker 1 17:38
It's true. Like baby, you want some extra lard and your cheesy things, it's a vegetable. You got to get your vegetables. Gotta be healthy now.
Unknown Speaker 17:49
Okay, so that's our vegetable element.
Unknown Speaker 17:54
We have another side dish. If I was
Speaker 1 17:59
violently stoned, I actually think I would like this.
Speaker 2 18:04
Okay, I'm excited to hear it this.
Speaker 1 18:07
This is the one that I'm like, okay, I can get behind it. So allegedly, this is a viral apple pie mac and cheese, and they tagged craft in the comments, and I didn't get to go look at crafts Instagram, but I'm like, Y'all are really making this? Like, I don't know.
Speaker 2 18:27
I have heard of people putting a slice of cheese on apple pie, and I'm just Ew, I can see how wrong with you guys. Oh, yeah. Like, sorry, not to veer off too much, but I don't think we talked about this on the podcast, the cheese and the milk. I think I sent you that.
Speaker 1 18:46
Yeah, it looks so good, yeah? And I was like, yeah, what the fuck you're like, I don't know. Looks kind of good. I'm like, oh, yeah, we've totally got to try that. So it's this older lady, and she's like, Okay, y'all get you a hot cup of coffee. And then she takes this cheese that I actually really fucking like, it's a blueberry cheese, and she puts it in the coffee, stirs it around, it gets all melted, and then she puts it on toast,
Unknown Speaker 19:15
like, that'd be so good, maybe
Speaker 2 19:19
I'd totally be down to try it for sure, but I'm just kind of like that's probably not going to taste good, but I'm so down to be wrong about
Unknown Speaker 19:26
that. I feel like it'll be really good.
Unknown Speaker 19:29
Well, we all know what kind of coffee you like. So,
Unknown Speaker 19:34
bitch coffee. Oh, you know what I was thinking about the other day.
Speaker 1 19:40
I think we've done a taste test every week of November, and we should have made it like this is our November taste test. Oh, yeah, we didn't. So just pretend so that this was like a month long theme that we planned, yeah, and we've been like keeping up with her. Really good, and we'll do it next year too. Yes, maybe.
Speaker 2 20:04
And then I'm just like, oh my god, I just put pressure on us.
Speaker 1 20:07
Well, I was gonna say we could do the cheese and coffee, but I actually would like to try that sooner than next year.
Unknown Speaker 20:13
Yeah, could be a Christmas treat. Oh,
Speaker 1 20:17
and I do have my amnesia Christmas movie. I got it in the mail today. Oh yeah, I'm excited. I can't wait to show you the cover. I'm gonna have to block out her address, but I guess the person that owned it before put, like, a little address label on the front of the DVD, like in case she was lending it out or something. It was like, Oh, this is Janet's DVD. Please return to her,
Speaker 2 20:41
I love this, like, one that she would like care to lose.
Unknown Speaker 20:46
It's my favorite Christmas movie.
Speaker 1 20:50
Yeah, I'm really excited for that. I may try to do that in the next couple weeks. And then she said he's gonna watch it with me again. So awesome, perfect. Yeah. Oh yeah. So back to the mac and cheese apple pie. So again, you're gonna start out with a pre made pie shell. Okay, you're gonna take some macaroni noodles, you're gonna put them in the pie shell. You're gonna cut up. This is actually one of my least favorite cheeses, but some Kobe Jack,
Speaker 2 21:22
Colby Jack. Colby Jack, that's that's okay.
Speaker 1 21:27
So Mama cut it up in little cubes, put them and put them in there. I feel like she did not do enough cubes, like the macaroni is gonna be a little dry. Oh, gross. Yeah. Then she just slopped on some canned apples on top,
Speaker 2 21:47
like those, like spiced apples, or, like, I didn't know you could get canned apples, I guess it's a it's kind of like apple pie filling, yeah, okay, okay. And then
Speaker 1 21:59
she put some milk in there, but again, it didn't really seem like enough liquid.
Unknown Speaker 22:05
So I'm not maybe like
Speaker 2 22:08
the water from the apples is gonna maybe take out, but I don't know, probably not enough.
Speaker 1 22:15
Yeah, she did not stir this either. She's She was a fan of just a dump recipe where you're just putting shit in. Yeah, I like to stir stuff. I don't know. Yeah, I do
Unknown Speaker 22:28
too. It makes sense.
Speaker 1 22:30
Well, Incorporated, yeah, it's a very basic cooking I've stirred before, you know, a time or two, not to brag, but and then she took some shredded cheese, also from a bag, and put it on top, which a little side note here, I've been shredding my own cheese, and it's just so much better than the little bag. Okay, I mean, it does take a little extra effort, but I feel like it melts better, tastes better. Oh, okay, highly recommend, good to know, but we're not doing that today. This is fucking Josh and mom material. Yeah, they're not taking the time to shred their own cheese. No, no, but yeah, this came out.
Unknown Speaker 23:22
It kind of looks about like what you would expect.
Speaker 1 23:26
Um, I feel I mean, I would try it no matter what. But, yeah, I feel like, if I was really stoned, I would like, sit down and eat this whole pie.
Unknown Speaker 23:38
Yeah, I feel like
Unknown Speaker 23:40
something about it that I feel like would go with that.
Speaker 2 23:43
If it was there, I would definitely try it, and maybe, you know, eat more of it. But I'm definitely not gonna take the time to make this, or put anyone's God, I kind of want to make it, oh my God, for Christmas, yeah. I mean, or next year,
Speaker 1 24:00
oh yeah, next year, oh yeah. I don't know if I want to wait, though. Oh yeah. But then I'm like, Well, we have done a lot of taste testing, so maybe we should wait, but I don't know. Let us know what you think. Yes, to try some weird shit. But yeah, oh, we do have one other semi healthy element to this meal, and I say healthy very generously. Is it another vegetable?
Speaker 2 24:27
It's a fruit, pears.
Speaker 1 24:30
Actually it's your pear recipe, but they do pineapple rings, and then they do mayo and shredded cheese. I felt like that would be better.
Speaker 2 24:41
I don't know. I just don't think I mayonnaise with, like, any fruit except for tomato.
Unknown Speaker 24:49
That's very fair.
Speaker 1 24:52
But I feel like pineapple, maybe it'd be closer, like pineapple on pizza, which, if you don't like that, then,
Speaker 2 24:58
yeah, maybe it wouldn't be that bad, because it's. Like a acidic thing with a fatty thing. So maybe,
Unknown Speaker 25:05
maybe it wouldn't be that bad. I don't know, part of
Speaker 2 25:08
my head is yelling, it's like Jamie. It's fucking pineapple mayonnaise. Don't try to talk yourself
Speaker 1 25:16
into it. Maybe Jamie hurt yourself. You don't have to.
Unknown Speaker 25:21
You know, I think I'm gonna commit.
Speaker 1 25:23
I think I want to do a yearly little feast like this for us. And we can, we can try these things,
Unknown Speaker 25:29
yeah, maybe I can find a little recipe to make too.
Unknown Speaker 25:32
Hell yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 1 25:36
So the last thing I have for us is dessert, and this one is actually the least defensive. It doesn't sound too crazy, it just looked really gross.
Unknown Speaker 25:48
I'll explain the conditions of why.
Unknown Speaker 25:53
So have you ever heard of a water pie?
Speaker 2 25:59
Yes. Isn't that like a thing from the recession?
Speaker 1 26:02
Yeah, it's like a Great Depression thing. So this kind of seems like a take on a water pie, but you take take some apple juice, you're gonna pour that directly in the pie shell. So this is our third pie shell for this meal. Pie people, they are pie in it up. So we're gonna put apple juice in the shell. Then we're gonna put the flower. She actually got a fresh lemon, which even Josh was surprised. It's like you
Unknown Speaker 26:35
got a fresh lemon, Mama. Where'd you get that? Mama, I love to find the clip.
Speaker 1 26:44
She poured vanilla in there and some cinnamon, and then she did little cubes of butter, if I recall correctly, she did not stir.
Unknown Speaker 26:58
Come on, mom was stir. Ah.
Speaker 2 27:02
Was stir, have to mix your liquids and your mom liquids.
Speaker 1 27:10
So they baked it, and it looked so fucking runny and gross. And then I guess they decided they would put it in the fridge to kind of like, firm it up a little bit more, and then they came back and they were like, well, we forgot that the pie was in there for a couple days, but let's take it out and try it. And something about forgetting a pie in the fridge because I'm assuming they didn't cover it, I just feel like it would absorb the fridge smells and it would taste like fridge. Yeah, if it like wasn't covered, that bothered? Yeah, I didn't like that. What if everything else is covered? You know, maybe you're so optimistic, baby, you're so young, you're full of hope. Santa said it's okay, yeah, and then, you know, they had the butter in there, so, you know when you make a soup or whatever, and the fat congeals, and it's just that layer of heart. Yeah, it was like that on the pie, yeah?
Unknown Speaker 28:25
So nice, nice, large layer here on the top.
Speaker 1 28:30
Nice little crust, sweetheart. You said you wanted extra large, but, yeah, that's our, our feast. What do you think about it? I love it. Was great. I can't wait to have a little bit more of that pizza. Oh, sorry, I meant the Josh and Mama feast. But yes, I'm glad that.
Speaker 2 28:48
Yeah, I like and dislike the Josh and Mama feast. Yeah, I'm excited to try a little bit of everything. I think,
Speaker 1 28:58
I think that I, yeah, I would try everything. What do you think out of all of them would be the thing that would surprise you, that you would like more than you think? Is there one? I guess I should say,
Unknown Speaker 29:16
I guess it
Speaker 2 29:18
would be mac and cheese, apple pie. Maybe, yeah, maybe that one I was gonna
Unknown Speaker 29:24
say cheesy peas.
Unknown Speaker 29:26
I feel like maybe that could be surprising.
Speaker 1 29:31
I mean butter and cheese, even if it is shitty cheese.
Speaker 2 29:34
I wonder if butter peas is a thing in like, the UK. Oh my
Speaker 1 29:38
god, they're so fucking weird and gross, I bet it is
Unknown Speaker 29:42
okay. So I'm just Googling UK cheesy peas.
Speaker 2 29:48
I guess it's a simple, creamy side dish made by heating peas with butter and cheese until melted, often, canned or frozen peas.
Unknown Speaker 29:58
I'm just surprised at how.
Speaker 2 30:00
Results, there are for cheesy peas.
Unknown Speaker 30:03
Yeah, need that many recipes.
Speaker 2 30:06
See this one's on toast. I fucking knew that there would be a cheesy fucking peas on toast. That's fucking bullshit. Take a picture
Unknown Speaker 30:13
of that fucking British people,
Speaker 2 30:18
you know, but it's not even British is probably I would rather have peas on toast than baked beans. I think I agree. Yeah, this person's blog says cheesy peas are an English vintage classic in serving tasty food over toast was very popular during the 60s and 70s,
Unknown Speaker 30:39
so I guess it is undiscussed.
Speaker 1 30:42
Undisgusting British. Okay, yeah, they when there's a What's that?
Unknown Speaker 30:49
Oh, I was just saying they fucking would,
Speaker 1 30:53
yeah, when Mama mentioned it being Mississippi queen, I was like, okay, that does sound little Mississippi, but yeah, it also sounds very British,
Unknown Speaker 31:02
yeah. What a combo. What a combo.
Speaker 1 31:07
Oh, I do have something I wanted to tell you about. Josh and Mama's Instagram, there's a lot of baked bean content.
Speaker 2 31:16
Oh, really, yeah, I should be wary of
Speaker 1 31:19
be careful. Okay, be careful. Thank you. If you want, I can just send you some highlights so you don't have to expose yourself. Okay, yeah. Would you like to hear some of the quick bean highlights? I didn't look too deeply, but I did notice she liked them.
Unknown Speaker 31:39
Jamie will be brave. I
Speaker 1 31:44
game. This first one is the fucking worst. I can't believe she did.
Unknown Speaker 31:50
It makes me mad. No,
Speaker 1 31:54
she's saying this is girl dinner. I'm like, you fucking idiot. This is not girl dinner. This is like, if you had to, like, get food out of a dumpster, dinner, honestly, but she took some pasta, and, if I remember correctly, it was booked pasta. She put fucking baked beans on top, and then she put so much mayo, like, just put it, like, did little things, like a hot dog, and then did it the other way. And Josh was like, Mama, you're not frosting a cake. And then
Unknown Speaker 32:33
Worcestershire on top of that,
Unknown Speaker 32:35
and just
Speaker 1 32:36
to give it cheese on it, sprinkle it with cheese. Actually, she didn't, but she should have that maybe would have made it better. Oh, and do you want to know what she fucking ate? It on styrofoam.
Unknown Speaker 32:51
It probably was a styrofoam plate,
Speaker 1 32:54
no, but she took a fucking raw onion, cut it up and use the onion as a chip. Ew, vile, bro. Woman. You know, part of me thinks that Josh and momma is like rage bait content. But also, I don't know, as a, as a Caucasian, I've seen people eat some fucked up shit, yeah,
Speaker 2 33:18
like Midwestern. I mean, it could just be, like, a weird mix of
Speaker 1 33:21
both, like, yes, yeah, it must be, man, I know I eat some stuff that's weird, but, but not Josh and Mama. Weird?
Speaker 2 33:31
Yeah. No, no. Something else that I keep getting in my feet is that, that fucking, I assume it's just rage bait with that lady with the big, like, hibachi girl outside, and she just dumps a bunch of random shit on it and like, oh, together it's, it's like, oh, we're gonna make like, a ice cream sundae. And she puts, like, dumps, like ice cream bars, and then like, other ice creams and hot chocolate and stuff like that. And then just mixes it all together. And she'll do that with, like, you know, noodles or sandwiches or just, like, different, I don't know I could see how some of it would be fun, but ice cream, like, yeah, I feel like I'm not explaining what she puts on there well, because it's stuff that's like,
Speaker 1 34:18
Stop, don't do that. Okay. To check it out. Oh, mama also is whipping out the canned apples to put with some baked beans, Mama, I guess I'm not that mad at that. I mean, you know, people like sweet beans, you know, like
Unknown Speaker 34:44
maple beans, like that.
Speaker 2 34:47
Well, okay, yeah, Maple beans, yeah, okay, can I see they're probably
Unknown Speaker 34:59
making your face? Her fall beans get in here,
Unknown Speaker 35:02
seasonal beans
Unknown Speaker 35:06
in the last one.
Speaker 1 35:09
This one is offensive, and I feel like it was a pregnant woman that tagged her in it, which this would make sense for a pregnant woman, but it was a bowl of baked beans, and she had like a slice of chocolate cake in it, and was eating it together. But Mama Tried it. She went to Walmart and got some cupcakes, and put two cupcakes in her bowl of baked beans, and she was, like, bad.
Unknown Speaker 35:36
So that one, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1 35:41
no, because the fucking the cake is gonna get all soggy from the bean juice, and that's vile, yeah?
Speaker 2 35:48
I just, I don't know, just the flavors of the bean juice just doesn't go with a whole lot of other things. I guess. I don't know. I'm, I'm a picky bean girl, yeah,
Speaker 1 36:06
I'll see what else I can find from Josh and Mama.
Unknown Speaker 36:12
Did you see that clip of
Speaker 1 36:15
Cynthia Rivo and the lady that plays Elphaba and wicked and Ariana Grande. I like that weird guy charged them at some award show, okay, well, some fan that apparently is notorious for doing this with celebrities kind of ran up to Ariana and, like, put his arm around her, and was like, Yeah, well, Cynthia, you know how the internet is like, they have this like, love affair, which you can't convince me, they don't, yeah, but yeah, she fucking got to her before the bodyguards and like, snatched her up and like, held her in her arms until the bodyguard got there. But all of that to say that's what I'm gonna do for you, and beans, I'm gonna protect you. Oh yeah, bean content, thank you, mommy, Alyssa,
Unknown Speaker 37:08
baby Jamie, get
Unknown Speaker 37:09
away. Beans, don't touch her.
Unknown Speaker 37:13
Leave her alone.
Unknown Speaker 37:17
Are the beans gone?
Unknown Speaker 37:20
It's okay, they're gone. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 37:22
okay, thank you, mommy. Alyssa, welcome.
Speaker 1 37:27
Yeah, I tried to get a little pumpkin spice update, since I usually do that every year, but there really weren't a lot of new products. It's disappointing. It is my theory, which I feel like we even talked about last year, was that people aren't spending as much, so maybe companies aren't putting out weird shit, because it might not so, yeah, yeah, one that I found was pumpkin spice cottage cheese, which I love, cottage Cheese. So actually, might try that one that doesn't sound like it'd be too bad
Unknown Speaker 38:06
there's a pumpkin cream. Alani,
Speaker 1 38:09
okay, I should have got some pretty good we could have had an energy drink and a protein shake. Well, next time,
Speaker 2 38:15
we'll get that and do the cheese coffee. Yeah, energy episode,
Speaker 1 38:19
oh my god. But episode where Alyssa is a heart attack, yeah, that's all I found other than um, pumpkin spice, Dawn power wash, which I feel like that would smell really, yeah, I don't think I would like all my dishes to smell like that. Yeah, um, Dawn power wash is so it has such an aggressive scent. So I feel like the pumpkin spice one would be so gross.
Speaker 2 38:48
Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah. We got, like, the Ultra and, man, that shit smells so strong.
Speaker 1 38:55
Even if you get the free and clear one, it's really strong. But then I looked at the label closer, and basically they just don't put dye in it. It still has a scent, like fucking scammers. That's pretty dumb. Yeah, yeah. I feel like whenever a company comes out with a like,
Unknown Speaker 39:13
sensitive version,
Speaker 2 39:16
they just change the stuff all the time to make it cheaper, and it just winds up sucking anyway, so
Unknown Speaker 39:21
green washing
Speaker 2 39:26
well, to continue our Thanksgiving theme, I just have some turkey Talk, gobble, gobble.
Unknown Speaker 39:41
My mouth is full of pizza. Sorry, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 39:46
Thank you, Turkey. Alyssa, you're welcome.
Speaker 2 39:51
Um, so I don't know. I hope this doesn't kind of just come off as like a like high school or middle school paper. But. I just have, like, a little bit about turkeys, their reproduction.
Speaker 1 40:05
I'm gonna say not to go against what you're saying, but I hope it does come
Speaker 2 40:12
across like, okay, cool. There might be a little bit for everybody here.
Unknown Speaker 40:16
Excellent. All right, so there I
Speaker 1 40:24
here like a fucking kid there. Jamie, read your paper.
Speaker 2 40:29
Okay, I'm gonna read it at Thanksgiving. I'm thankful
Unknown Speaker 40:34
for penicillin. Shout out.
Speaker 2 40:36
Rob um so there are two species of Turkey currently living the wild turkey, which is the turkey that probably comes to mind first when you typically see Thanksgiving pictures and stuff like that.
Unknown Speaker 40:54
They're native to North America. The other
Speaker 2 40:59
is the oscillated Turkey, which is native to the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico, which are actually quite colorful. The males of both species have a waddle hanging from the top of their beans.
Speaker 1 41:15
I was hoping that you would talk about that, yeah. Um, and
Speaker 2 41:24
oh, and that is spelled with keys, not bees, so wattle, like Oh, not like a wattle or wattle, wattle, um, which is, you're doing good. You're doing good. I put, which is like the fleshy neck sack some birds and Trump have. It's called a snood. Trump has a snood
Unknown Speaker 41:52
neck pussy.
Unknown Speaker 41:55
I kind of forgot about that.
Speaker 1 41:59
I love when people, like, Photoshop underwear on it or something, or like, blur it so funny,
Unknown Speaker 42:05
put the thing away, man.
Speaker 2 42:08
So a little turkey terminology, a baby Turkey is called a Polt,
Speaker 1 42:15
P, O, U, L, T, oh, well, that doesn't seem cute enough.
Speaker 2 42:18
Yeah, right. A baby, a young female is called a Jenny,
Speaker 1 42:26
like the girl's name, j, e, n, n, y, like the Craig.
Unknown Speaker 42:35
An adult female is called a hen.
Speaker 2 42:38
An adult male is called a Tom or a gobbler, and I think you're gonna love what a young male Turkey is called. It's called a Jake.
Speaker 1 42:58
So weird, Jenny and Jake. Jenny and Jake, or young people out on the town.
Speaker 2 43:06
Now I'm just gonna, like, call my dad a young turkey.
Unknown Speaker 43:11
You a young turkey?
Unknown Speaker 43:14
A general
Speaker 2 43:16
term for a group of Turkeys is a flock, but it does get more specific depending on the circumstances. Oh, groups of domesticated turkeys were known as rafters, which is not commonly used today. And let me just open up a bird. Fact.com,
Unknown Speaker 43:41
okay, here's a list.
Speaker 2 43:47
Okay, so, a list of different terms for a group of Turkey, and there's actually quite a lot, a brood of turkeys, a crop of turkeys, a death row of turkeys, which I like. That one is, actually, I believe, what they specifically just call like, when they're, you know, lined up for the turkey slaughter. Let me find it. It explains it like more on this website. So I'll kind of get to some of those, like,
Unknown Speaker 44:19
hey, we need a name for when they're about to die, death row, okay?
Speaker 2 44:28
A dole of turkeys. That's when they're eating pineapples.
Speaker 1 44:33
That's when they have Mama's pineapple, mayo and cheese.
Speaker 2 44:39
A duel of turkeys, a gang of turkeys, a herd,
Unknown Speaker 44:44
a mob, a muster,
Unknown Speaker 44:48
a posse. What? What?
Unknown Speaker 44:51
Clown makeup on
Speaker 2 44:55
a raffle, a raft, a school? A Thanksgiving of turkeys. Oh, that's kind of sad. Yeah, it is Saturn death wrote no a run of wild turkeys, wild for wild males. It's a bachelor of turkeys. It's a fucking Jake crew. Got the Jake's rolling in. And then also for wild nail turkeys, is a posse. Let me just see real quick, because I did read like the description,
Unknown Speaker 45:34
insane Jake posse. Hi.
Unknown Speaker 45:38
JP, I up.
Speaker 2 45:45
Historically domesticated turkeys were known as rafters, but it's unclear when that was stopped being used a gang or a mob is just the general you know, gathering of turkeys, but refers to the noisy and sometimes intimidating behavior when large groups of young or older male turkeys assembles. So you know them, Jakes and them, what's the older male one? I don't remember
Speaker 1 46:15
show that's when the jakes might do their I, JP rap,
Speaker 2 46:22
abracadabra, yeah. Oh, wait, no, gobble, gobble, gobble,
Unknown Speaker 46:29
come on. Come on to the feast.
Speaker 2 46:32
Um, Tom or gobbler is the adult one. So like gobbler damn fucking Jakes and gobblers. Oh, it's like, like cops and robbers,
Unknown Speaker 46:43
Jakes and gobblers, Jason gobblers.
Speaker 2 46:47
Um Goggle is also calling out like loud gobbling sounds of turkeys.
Unknown Speaker 46:57
Run is
Speaker 2 46:59
groups that consist solely of adult males, or, you know, Toms also posses, which I mentioned before,
Speaker 1 47:08
like the dangerous group. Watch out
Unknown Speaker 47:13
large groups of males. Watch out
Speaker 2 47:17
groups containing young turkeys are often referred to as broods and consist of female
Unknown Speaker 47:23
with several young.
Unknown Speaker 47:27
Back to my turkey stuff.
Speaker 2 47:32
So a little bit about the reproduction, because I was like, maybe these birds have some freaky shit going on. I hope so. So they don't, like, really have freaky shit going on. Like, I hope, okay, that sounds weird. Like, yeah, turkeys, um, but like other birds, bird, like other birds we've learned about on this podcast. Turkeys have testicles inside of their body, near their kidneys. Kiss and Chloe. Yeah, they got them Chloe because too, males are typically out of their own flock, and females are in a gaggle with their with their poles. So the women go off and do their
Unknown Speaker 48:18
stuff while I guess the male turkeys just go
Speaker 1 48:22
intimidate people. The male turkeys are like, impregnating them, and then they're like, I gotta go get cigarettes. I'll be back. And then they never come up.
Unknown Speaker 48:33
That's like, kind of what it's like, actually.
Speaker 2 48:38
I don't mean to see it like, actually, well, and it's just for the next part. Um, when it's mating season, they come together. Jakes will fight each other to display dominance in front of the ladies. Sometimes they will lay with more than one hen. Oh, they do tail Fanning and other birdie mating type things, including vocalizations that can carry up to a mile away. I'm horny.
Unknown Speaker 49:09
Here's a little gobble if You want to hear I
Speaker 1 50:00
It sounds like a dog. It does sound dog like,
Speaker 2 50:09
well, male Turkey over there, doing his little thing, shaking its ass.
Unknown Speaker 50:16
So I feel like I've heard that before.
Unknown Speaker 50:20
The Oh yeah. You've heard of horny Jake.
Unknown Speaker 50:23
I've heard horny, let's just say Turkey. I've heard
Speaker 1 50:27
Oh shit. I'm so forgetting that's your dad's I know it, but like in this context, I'm not making the connection.
Unknown Speaker 50:36
Horny gobbler
Speaker 2 50:37
horny gobblers. Yeah? Sounds like a like a horror movie, but Tom's heads will turn shades of white, blue and red, with the most excited turkeys turning white. However, mating is not always necessary for hens to reproduce, because they're capable of parathanogenesis, which is taken from Greek words to translate to Virgin origin, oh, AKA your nickname and high school bitches.
Speaker 2 51:15
And as a form of asexual reproduction, several factors are at play when this happens, including food and temperature changes, hormonal shifts and infections. So as the jakes are making rounds, some hens start laying eggs, then the Jake Skedaddle after the babies hatch, about 28 days later, not as zombies, oh, because 28 days later, okay, the hens cluck softly during the process to form imprints on their young, a special form of learning that promotes Turkey social development. Also some weird shit that the fucking werewolf in Twilight did to the chicks,
Unknown Speaker 52:03
baby. Oh, man, I haven't got that far.
Speaker 2 52:05
It's fucking weird. What does he do? I don't really exactly know what imprinting means, but he just, I think, if I remember, right? I think he just, like, stares at her, and she's like, What did you do? I can't remember his name right now. I want to come want Jake, yeah, Jacob. Oh, Jacob, that's right. Okay, okay, what did you do?
Unknown Speaker 52:27
Jacob, yeah, so they he has a weird bond with the baby
Unknown Speaker 52:34
renes May or whatever.
Speaker 2 52:35
Yeah, run as May, yeah, the fucking freak ass, like mechanical ball, fucking baby.
Unknown Speaker 52:45
And baby,
Speaker 2 52:47
little pulse will hatch with their eyes open and can walk within 12 to 24 hours.
Unknown Speaker 52:55
And some random facts from around the web
Unknown Speaker 53:00
worldwide. Web world you've heard of it, right?
Speaker 2 53:07
So from US Fish and Wildlife Service, Turkey droppings tell a bird's sex and age. Male droppings are J shaped. Female droppings are spiral shaped. The larger the diameter, the older the bird.
Speaker 1 53:21
Interesting. Oh, violets. Was sniffing my pumpkin spice needles. She wants that.
Unknown Speaker 53:28
You gonna slurp those? I'm gonna tell Santa
Speaker 2 53:37
no from World Animal Protection. US turkeys make a variety of different sounds, including purrs, yelps, and contrary to popular beliefs, it's not just male turkeys at cobble Oh. Wild turkeys have been known to fly up to 55 miles per hour in short bursts. Whoa, yeah, for domesticated turkeys, this is unfortunately not the case, as they're bred to be heavier in weight, which is like twice as much as a wild turkey.
Unknown Speaker 54:13
The wild turkeys are like you
Speaker 1 54:18
domesticated bitches to be on a fucking plate.
Speaker 2 54:22
Fanny. Oh, what are you guys? A death row of Turkeys over there? Oh, get a load of these guys. They have three times better vision than humans. Whoa. They can also see in color. In their eyesight covers 270 degrees. Oh, okay, yeah, so there's some freaky eye bitches, yeah. Oh, but they cannot see well at night, so they roost in trees. Oh, get their little fat butts up there, which is. I'm assuming they have to use their short burst flight ability to do that. So I assume, like domesticated turkeys, cannot do that. That's an assumption, though, but you know, earlier it said that they were fat, so you can tell a Turkey's emotions by the color of their heads. Colors change from red to blue to white depending on how excited or calm they are. I think earlier I mentioned, if they're excited, it will be white. The more intense the colors are, the more intense their emotion. And from Lake Erie, Nature and Science Center, Turkeys can run at speeds up to 25, miles per hour, oh, when they need to. Turkeys can swim by tucking their wings, spreading their tails and kicking.
Unknown Speaker 55:54
Adorable. I should have looked up a video.
Speaker 2 55:59
Turkeys are the largest game bird in North America. The average male turkey or Tom can be four feet tall and weigh up to 25 pounds,
Unknown Speaker 56:09
four feet tall. That's fucking scary.
Speaker 2 56:11
Yeah, terrifying in one like earlier, it said that, like, you know, a gang of is, like, an intimidating I'm like, I could totally see a gang of, like, most fuckers are pretty big and they move fast. Yeah, running 25 miles per hour about, yeah, like, a million times scarier than a goose. And then I'll do like, a little Speed Burst, flight jump, going faster. They can weigh up to 25 pounds, while the average female or hen is three feet tall and around half the weight of a male Turkey, an adult Turkey has 5000 to 6000 feathers. Oh, which I'm sure gold loudest fuck would like.
Unknown Speaker 56:54
I'm gonna put these in my fishing lines.
Unknown Speaker 56:59
Oh, that I don't think with
Speaker 2 57:03
because I am, well, have anything to say? Sorry. I agree. I feel like I'm just like losing energy. It's like midnight outside, but it's only like seven dark, like 730
Unknown Speaker 57:16
half the day already, yeah.
Speaker 2 57:20
And the last little fact I have is from PETA, which I like, wasn't sure if this was actually a fact, because I it's PETA, and I feel like they're just gonna make up stuff to try to make you feel bad for Turkey,
Speaker 1 57:35
like their soul goes To hell when they're eating for Thanksgiving.
Unknown Speaker 57:41
Um, Peter says
Speaker 2 57:44
they came to get down turkeys, enjoy listening to music, and often loud, loudly sing along, oh, which, like, I'm sure they do, but I don't, I don't know. I don't, maybe they're just reacting to a noise, not like, yeah, I don't know. I feel like this little like, over hyped, because I know, you know, like, cows and stuff will listen to like, music that sounds like nice and stuff, and they'll hang out. But I'm just kind of like, I don't know. I just don't really imagine turkeys just being like, jamming out to music. And I guess I'm just weary because it's PETA stupid vegans, and that's the only like, I went through a bunch of different websites, and that was the only one I saw that talked about Turkeys enjoying music and dancing and singing to it. So I know that we're a news podcast or a educational podcast, but that one
Unknown Speaker 58:35
may may not be
Speaker 2 58:36
right, not be right, but, um, you know, I know some animals can enjoy music and stuff, so I don't want to discount it, but it also doesn't
Unknown Speaker 58:47
seem accurate, yeah, fair. But, um,
Speaker 2 58:51
that's all for my turkey talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my turkey talk.
Speaker 1 58:56
I feel like my first gobble was good, and then I lost it. But no, I thought that was a good one. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your turkey talk song. Oh no.
Speaker 2 59:04
I thought you were, like, pairing with it. I was like, perfect. Yeah. Do you
Speaker 1 59:09
want to try again? Gobbler? No, I think it was okay or I mean, we can't. Oh no. It's time for baby Jamie to go to bed. You did such a good job reading your report. Anna is so proud. She's olive proud. Olive is so proud. Everyone thinks she did a great job.
Speaker 2 59:36
The voice I'm doing. I'll just mention it before we go. I sent these you a couple. But it's like that lady with, like, the baby dolls, oh yeah. And she like, takes them out to different places and just makes them, like, talk, like, when she was trying to, like, crawl into a hole, like, cave thing, she's like,
Unknown Speaker 59:59
No. Oh, don't go in there.
Speaker 2 1:00:03
No, it's dangerous. You can't just crawl in the holes. You see, I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:00:08
just like, bro, what
Speaker 1 1:00:11
the the one that was creepy to me was the little boy doll. It was like, Oh, yeah. And it was like, this pod or something in a tree. But yeah, it's just a woman pretending to be her baby dolls. And, I mean, I hope she enjoys it, but to an outsider, it was airy.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:33
All I can really think about is, like,
Speaker 2 1:00:36
how freaked out would I be if I came across someone doing this, like at the parks I usually go to, yeah, I'd be like, I'm gonna leave because I'm gonna get murder. But it doesn't, I mean, yes, it's still creepy on Instagram, but it seems, you know, I mean, yes, it is innocent. But if you just walked up on that, you'd be like, oh yeah. What the fuck bitch
Unknown Speaker 1:00:57
by Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 2 1:01:01
Well, bitches, bye. We're wrapping up bitches, thank you for joining our Thanksgiving feast. Yes, thank you
Unknown Speaker 1:01:11
for listening. Yeah.
Speaker 2 1:01:16
Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving if you are celebrating. Yes, Happy Thanksgiving to Josh and Mama.
Speaker 1 1:01:23
Most of all, Happy Thanksgiving to Josh and Mama. Yes, I'll keep updated. If they post any Thanksgiving content or anything perfect, I was gonna ask share it on Instagram. Yeah, usually she'll do a video of their spread, which just looks like there's not a seasoning insight, so
Speaker 2 1:01:47
it's all in front of that one casserole, and there's
Speaker 1 1:01:54
always, like, white bread, like, you know, like, Oh, like bread, or just like Wonder Bread. Thank you. I was trying to think of a, like, a generic bread brand, but yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:02:10
um, oh yeah, yeah, please
Unknown Speaker 1:02:15
blur out any beans that may be on that spread.
Speaker 1 1:02:21
Like, is there a dick on the plate? No, it's just beans. Jamie thing problem,
Speaker 2 1:02:28
which I accidentally a streamer. I was I was watching, they were just doing, like, react content, and someone sent them a fucking how, I don't know if you're familiar with those How to videos, and it's just like, how to cook a chicken, or how to do something with a toilet, but always just like, fucking slings food around and then just, like, Wiggles it around on the floor and just throw another food on top of it. Like, hate it. I hate it. Anyway. Yeah, I accidentally watched one of those over the weekend with beans, not with beans. I can't remember what was in it, because it came up and I saw a little bit of it, and I was like, fuck this shit. I need to sidetrack myself for like, three more minutes. How? Too basic. That's what it's called, hate that shit, but, uh, but Yeah, anyway, bye, fat heads, sorry. Bye, bye, party on