Jamie gives a little re-cap on her NYC visit and Alyssa tells us about some Christian Wizards!
Jamie gives a little re-cap on her NYC visit and Alyssa tells us about some Christian Wizards!
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Unknown Speaker 0:00
So we were in New York the past weekend, and we had our anniversary dinner. Happy anniversary. Thank you. And we were getting ready, and Brandon was like, Oh, hey, would you mind steaming my shirt, I guess, like all men ask. And I was like, Sure, just, you know, hang it up and I'll, you know, do the thing. And he was like, no, just like, I'll hold my shirt out. So just do it, you know, just do it. I'll have it on, and I'll just like, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then I gotta burn your skin. Stupidly, did it anyway, and it was going good. And then, yes, I burned his skin. Oh, my God. The one wasn't like he was holding his shirt, like I was trying to do it, but I kept getting trying to get close to the shirt. Because, yeah, so, yeah, he has like a burn, like on the side of his stomach and scbbed up a quite a bit. He took it pretty well.
Unknown Speaker 1:18
So, um, so yeah. So, welcome to nervous laughter podcast where Jamie maims her husband.
Unknown Speaker 1:28
Oh my gosh. I'm just freaking out because I've worked at a couple clothing stores and I had to steam clothes, and I, like, burned the shit out of myself. I know those Steamers. As soon as he said that. He was like, I'll leave it on. I'm like, Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:44
and I should have listened to my gut and just kept just pulled it off of him instead of just saying no. And I was like, all right.
Unknown Speaker 1:54
He asked, yeah, he asked. But yeah, he took it like a champ. Luckily, we had a bottle, a bottle of aloe there already, because I had a sunburn on, like the first day. So I was putting aloe on like crazy. And then, of course, I got a rash, because I'm a rash girl
Unknown Speaker 2:16
got a rash.
Unknown Speaker 2:18
So yeah, I got rash on my legs, and then I got a little bit on my eye, but I was like, washing myself so much and putting so much aloe on just because of all that, one day I had to, just like, wash my eyeballs, because I like, I like, woke up from a nap and I just saw so much, just like the smog of the city. Yeah, all the stragglers and stuff in my aisle is like, oh my god, what the fuck
Unknown Speaker 2:47
damn so yeah, I don't. I don't know if we just hit the city really hard the first couple nights and got Rashed up and dirty and stuff or what, but I don't. I don't know if I'm too, too sensitive and petite for such a big city. Maybe a rat snuck in the owl's room and like gave you little kisses on your eyes. And that's what happened
Unknown Speaker 3:12
all the little rat boys were so cute.
Unknown Speaker 3:16
I was like, Hey, are you related to Chuck E
Unknown Speaker 3:21
trying to find his pizza place. Oh, yeah, original, the original, the OG,
Unknown Speaker 3:28
yeah. No, we, we had some other pizza just around, and it was good.
Unknown Speaker 3:35
I would say the pizza there is almost like what tacos are in Austin, where it's just like, there's so many, like, different tacos, yes, that you don't really get sick of tacos in general. Like, what kind of tacos are we gonna do? So that's kind of what pizza felt like. There
Unknown Speaker 3:52
also
Unknown Speaker 3:54
our room number was 3609,
Unknown Speaker 3:57
yeah, so I was excited about that. Nice.
Unknown Speaker 4:03
On our first night, we had to go get a gallon of distilled water for Brandon's CPAP machine.
Unknown Speaker 4:12
And we usually don't have good luck finding distilled water when we're on vacation. It just always seems to be sold out. And Brandon was like, Oh, they don't have it here. And I saw just like, one gallon, like, behind him on the shelf. And I ran and grabbed it, and I hugged it. And then the employee that was there stocking the shelf.
Unknown Speaker 4:35
He looked up. Brandon was like, hey, hot potatoes, huh? And I was like, now I'm in New York,
Unknown Speaker 4:46
so that was, that was like the perfect, like I felt intro to the first night there.
Unknown Speaker 4:54
The burn did not happen on the first night, by the way, that was days into the trip. What?
Unknown Speaker 5:00
My gosh. Oh, and speaking of New York song,
Unknown Speaker 5:07
keep going, please. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. I obviously haven't like talked to many human beings Since You've Been Gone. I don't remember. I've been avoiding people left and right on the streets. Have you seen that interview where it's a somebody interviewing this lady, and she's like, oh, yeah, that New York song, fuck. I should just find it. It's so cool. How's that one song? Jay Z's in it's like, Concrete Jungle, wet dream. Tomato. Yeah. About New York
Unknown Speaker 5:42
wet dream tomato that's not really what it says, but that's what
Unknown Speaker 5:50
it sounds like,
Unknown Speaker 5:52
and that's what I know about it sounds like it,
Unknown Speaker 5:58
but sorry. Continue about the wet dream tomato city.
Unknown Speaker 6:03
So in the wet dream potato city, they play that song over, oh my god, yeah. Like we were, we were in Times Square a lot. And they play that song all over Times Square at least. And
Unknown Speaker 6:22
there was a lot of those, like 360
Unknown Speaker 6:26
Yes, little things. I can't imagine doing that in Canada, to do one and make it like cringy. And Fran was like, Okay, well, what are you gonna do? And I was like, well, just it'll come naturally, go up there and
Unknown Speaker 6:43
I need to find glasses. I could drop my glasses. I was like, Yeah, I don't have a plane. I guess fairy we should do one for the podcast. Yes? Just like, Ah, I don't know. Yeah. I feel like I could just wing it, yeah? Maybe we both could work out.
Unknown Speaker 7:00
But so those little things specifically, they play just a portion of the song on loop. So not even the full song, just a fucking portion of like dream tomato. And it's just that wet dream tomato on repeat, on repeat. It's it just, it's like the the most like climatic part of the song that they play
Unknown Speaker 7:26
that piece of it on repeat. So that was awesome. As you're falling asleep at night, you can just hear word in the street when it wakes
Unknown Speaker 7:38
me up in the wakes me up in the morning
Unknown Speaker 7:48
man, we turned that song into, like, so many different variations. Do you remember any of them? I it's just kind of like whatever we were doing. Gotcha. It was funny. There was people, it turned out they live in the city. I don't really know, because I eavesdropped on their conversation as we were leaving, but they're buying us in line. And he was just like, this, girl needs to drink some water, or she needs hydration, or what, just stuff like that, yeah, like the songs you sing to your cat? Yeah, exactly. It just turned into what's going on around you.
Unknown Speaker 8:29
Oh, yeah. And the last thing I have, so obviously, it's a very busy and bustling city, and there's lots of people walking around.
Unknown Speaker 8:39
So yeah, everyone was extremely nice, but not so much in the like walking around Park, not like people are, like being dicks. But, you know, they might make loud capped comments about, oh, tourists, being tourists, and whatever,
Unknown Speaker 8:54
me on a bad day sometimes, which, honestly, after I figured out, got comfortable navigating the streets. I got tired. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't being a dick. But yeah, when people ever, when there's like, 20 people standing trying to navigate and 50 people trying to move, it just becomes a clusterfuck. And so, like, oh, HEB. Or could put me in a murderous fucking rage. So I totally get it. Yeah, I do Costco for pickup or delivery or whatever, because, like
Unknown Speaker 9:22
people are so I can't, and I'm glad I'm able to be able to do
Unknown Speaker 9:31
so, yeah, I think that's all I have for New York. Oh, actually, one more thing, maybe
Unknown Speaker 9:38
when we were getting ready to take off to go to New York.
Unknown Speaker 9:45
Uh,
Unknown Speaker 9:46
our plane had to, like, taxi the runway for like, an hour, almost, oh, shit. And there was this fucking lady that would not get off her fucking phone, and she was talking about, like.
Unknown Speaker 10:00
I did, I guess it was just the classic, like, trying to sound important. Like she kept, like, name dropping, like, big company names and words. And I was like, Bitch, you're probably just
Unknown Speaker 10:12
project managers are important, and they help out a lot, but they don't know she was dropping a lot of stuff that you could tell she didn't really know what she was talking about.
Unknown Speaker 10:24
And then it was funny, because after a while, Brandon was just like, Man, this lady is fucking not fucking stupid. He was like, Man, this lady is really stupid. And I was like, you said that really loud, like I whispered it. And he was like, Yeah, I don't care. She won't shut
Unknown Speaker 10:40
up. And sometimes people need that. Sometimes that needs to happen,
Unknown Speaker 10:49
especially in a scenario like that. And I can really appreciate when people serve it out, but I'm not one of those people, you know. I'm just like
Unknown Speaker 10:57
because I think the person sitting next to us, was kind of with her, because, I mean, she didn't like react to us, but she had a physical reaction when Brandon said those things. And I was like, oh, but he does not care.
Unknown Speaker 11:12
I wish. I wish I was like that.
Unknown Speaker 11:15
I used to not be, but like with time, I just, I've become worn down. It's coming,
Unknown Speaker 11:26
like, three or four years older than you, so I feel like, you'll, you'll slowly start transitioning. Okay, I'm excited for that. I don't, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm excited for that. Because I was like, I don't know if I'll ever,
Unknown Speaker 11:41
ever get there, I don't know, at least for me, life has just worn me down so much that
Unknown Speaker 11:48
if your phone's loud, I'm gonna be Like, hey,
Unknown Speaker 11:59
not all the time, but oh yeah,
Unknown Speaker 12:03
such as the airplane where everybody is listening to this lady talk extremely loud for
Unknown Speaker 12:11
40 minutes to an hour.
Unknown Speaker 12:14
Oh my god. And you can tell too it was,
Unknown Speaker 12:18
you could tell too that she was just like bitching about, like, she's like, talking about work stuff and bitching about it to like a co worker. It wasn't like she was actually getting productive things done. And I was just like,
Unknown Speaker 12:30
like, that lady. And whenever we got up to get off the plane, I stood up, and she stood up too. And I was like, that's definitely her. That's a that's a woman that would give that shit.
Unknown Speaker 12:42
I can't wait to meet Mark Zuckerberg, the Facebook of CEO and the wedge room, tomato city. It's gonna be so awesome,
Unknown Speaker 12:51
because then we're gonna go to Broadway and make investments in wells, Fargo and videos, Nvidia stocks are going up trending. They're gonna make PRs to make the stock go up. That's PRs, prs. They go in. Peter, radicalization
Unknown Speaker 13:15
came to mind. But yeah, I'm down for Peter. We should do that in response to abortion laws. Anyway, that's all I have for New York.
Unknown Speaker 13:30
Well, thank you. Sounds like it was a nice trip. It was lovely, aside from the other humans, but that's anywhere. Oh, and the people trying to sell cocaine. Well, I mean, let them do it, I guess, whatever. But it was so funny the first night, I guess, we were walking around late enough where we were just being offered cocaine, like, left and right. Just, it's like, you walk by someone and they're trying to be like, uh,
Unknown Speaker 13:56
non conspicuous, or whatever. So it's, well, that's like, they don't look at you, but they talk at you, and they're like, they're like, We cocaine party,
Unknown Speaker 14:05
bro. And yeah, one guy was like, got Coco came back up in my room or whatever. It's just like, What the fuck? And yeah, people will be really mean to you if you don't give them attention, which I guess is the case for all the scammers, but, but but, yeah, it was. It was fun. Lots of people trying to sell iPads and stuff too, in the same fashion. They just hold it, like, down by their waist, like, I won't buy this, you won't buy this. Like, everyone walking by, you won't buy this. So
Unknown Speaker 14:36
it's funny, if you, if you like, I mean, we weren't, like, messing with the scammers, but if you think that's less funny and fun, then you'll have a blast. Oh yeah. Oh cool. I'm glad that y'all enjoyed your i Dream tomatoes. Oh yeah, yeah. I'll be uh, dreaming about them tonight. That's good.
Unknown Speaker 14:59
Well.
Unknown Speaker 15:00
Oh,
Unknown Speaker 15:02
I'm gonna propose a new corner in your honor. Oh, so this is actually an alyssa's Tiktok corner, but I propose that we also create, let me see the exact name I wrote down, Jamie Lynn shittin corner. Oh, that's a great one, yeah, because there's been some shit sedents, yeah, that have been popping up on our radar. And I think that is appropriate, yeah. And thanks for thinking of me with that like I feel worse. That's my, that's my, my thing now,
Unknown Speaker 15:40
we all do weird shit, and you've embraced it. I mean, literally for some people, yeah, but yeah, I'm sure there's, I don't know. I'm just mumbling Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I'll go on any shit paid myself in the future, unless it's just by accident. But my intentional shit trades
Unknown Speaker 16:04
have ended for me, but I love reading about other people's experiences. Yes, I mean, you could have pooped in one of the little plastic cups that they give you on the plane and just like thrown it at that lake. Oh, my God, that would have been so great. That would have been awesome and a funny,
Unknown Speaker 16:24
oh, my God,
Unknown Speaker 16:28
that reminded me of, I'm not gonna say names or anything, but I knew someone that they had to give a poop sample to a doctor, and they had to do it, like, use their own Tupperware for it, or whatever. So they use their little glide bag thing or whatever, and then, um, they weren't able to go to the doctor that day and then get their boyfriend or someone made them mad, or whatever. So let's put it in her
Unknown Speaker 16:57
bed. I
Unknown Speaker 17:00
don't remember all the details, but yeah, so I remember there was poop and container was not able to be used that doctor put in another person's purse. Um, I don't know all the drama behind it, but that's what that's what happened. That's wild man stuff. Wild Man stuff.
Unknown Speaker 17:17
Yeah, wildland stuff. That is wildland stuff. So I came. Oh, my God. What are all these? Oh, my God, Tiktok is wild man. Oh, my God, Tiktok is okay. I'm just gonna mute, um, I've been checking for updates on
Unknown Speaker 17:35
this situation that I will share with you in a moment for a couple days, because I really want to know what happened, but there have not been updates yet, so I'm gonna play this for you. Reason for the call today is I was at the pool earlier with my friend and also roommate, and I saw a disturbing sight, and I need to preface this. It is not a joke. As silly as it's going to sound, is not a joke.
Unknown Speaker 18:05
We witness a elderly woman,
Unknown Speaker 18:09
for lack of a better term, sharp her pants,
Unknown Speaker 18:14
and then proceed to hop right in the pool
Unknown Speaker 18:19
and just kind of wash it off that way.
Unknown Speaker 18:23
So I don't know if you guys want to clean it out. I don't know what the procedure is. There. Again, this is not a joke.
Unknown Speaker 18:31
You know, it's really funny, but it is not a joke. Oh, my God, see, I pooped in the pool at night, not during the day.
Unknown Speaker 18:45
Someone's gonna walk in the morning and see the turd there and there,
Unknown Speaker 18:50
yes, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 18:53
yeah. So
Unknown Speaker 18:57
I don't know if this lady. He said, elderly woman. Maybe she, I'm hoping that she didn't know what was going on, because, if not, that's wild man stuff,
Unknown Speaker 19:15
she doesn't care. Yeah, she's a trillion. She's more of a limb than either of us.
Unknown Speaker 19:21
I feel like some people get to an age or they just don't care about their bathroom stuff anymore. And I guess I'm just mainly say that because of
Unknown Speaker 19:33
I feel like I've seen more than one old person using the bathroom with, like, a stall open or something somewhere. Maybe this is just from working retail. I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 19:45
You see crazy stuff, man,
Unknown Speaker 19:49
dude. Well, it's like I talked about a long time ago about my sister's co worker who, like, came out of the stall and was like, Yeah, I missed myself. I gotta get.
Unknown Speaker 20:00
Going, Yeah, shit my pants. No big deal. I'll be back tomorrow. BD,
Unknown Speaker 20:07
yeah, and I guess in spirit of the new poop corner,
Unknown Speaker 20:13
Jamie shit corner,
Unknown Speaker 20:18
DRock lovingly shared
Unknown Speaker 20:23
I feel like that's how people do it. When they're like, Yeah, you gotta see the shitter Jamie, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 20:31
So yeah, he posted in the discord, which you should join if you're not a part of like to be
Unknown Speaker 20:38
there's a cereal porch pooper. This guy kept in Kentucky, returned several times to this dude's front porch and just took a shit, like, right on the front porch. It was the same one. Yeah. He was like, I guess
Unknown Speaker 20:55
I'm just glad he's not violent or anything. He just comes and, you know, does his thing, but he's like, at first I thought it was cat poop. But how could you think a cat would turd that big unless maybe the person, person has small person, yeah, so either that dated or they have cat with big turds, because
Unknown Speaker 21:22
big turds. Oh, really for surprisingly big like me and Brandon were shocked like the jiggers.
Unknown Speaker 21:35
I seen him lay it for myself.
Unknown Speaker 21:40
So
Unknown Speaker 21:42
if that guy puts any kind of update out, let everyone know. I'm curious if the apartments called him back and let him know if they clean up. And I feel like I would never go in that pool again after that, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 22:00
after just living in the world the past couple years, I just, I don't know if I want to go to public pools anymore. People are just nasty. They don't care anymore. Yeah, um, I saw a video like your neighborhood pool, because not that many people probably go. And I actually see them clean it. Oh, okay, so nice. That's cool.
Unknown Speaker 22:24
I saw,
Unknown Speaker 22:26
I saw a video. It was like a group of
Unknown Speaker 22:30
young adults like, you know, 21.2 whatever, like in a little hot tub, stream partying or whatever, as much dudes and bikini ladies. And I think this is what happened. I from what I could tell, because I rewatched it quite a few times to try to figure out what was going on.
Unknown Speaker 22:52
This girl, I guess she kind of like, puked, but she did it, kind of like behind her hand, really, like, yeah, kind of like, in her hand and, like, wiped it like, you know, wiped it off in the water. Sort of
Unknown Speaker 23:07
nasty. I guess someone in chat called her out or something. And they were like, what, what? And then they played it back, because they're streaming, and they can rewind it. And they saw her do that, and they all just freak out and get out of the water. And she's just like,
Unknown Speaker 23:23
Oh
Unknown Speaker 23:26
my gosh. Can we trust anyone exactly? You can even trust your friends. I promise I'll never do that
Unknown Speaker 23:36
shit in the water or something. I'll tell you. I'll be like, you
Unknown Speaker 23:40
Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 23:43
exactly,
Unknown Speaker 23:46
yeah. So I don't, yeah, I don't know. I feel a little iffy about public public pools
Unknown Speaker 23:54
as well.
Unknown Speaker 23:56
But yeah, maybe I'll see if there's an update on that cereal. Oh yeah, porch pooper and
Unknown Speaker 24:02
if it winds up not being true, I'll let you guys know that too
Unknown Speaker 24:07
Well, speaking of people being literally fucking insane.
Unknown Speaker 24:14
So a dear friend of mine that I went to high school with
Unknown Speaker 24:21
sent me dear friend, dear friend. I consider you a dear friend. I was like, she a doe,
Unknown Speaker 24:30
sorry, it was bad joke.
Unknown Speaker 24:34
No, I mean,
Unknown Speaker 24:37
like a doe, like Nay.
Unknown Speaker 24:39
And I was like, What sound do deer make? Like,
Unknown Speaker 24:43
I don't, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 24:46
Anyway, I'm sorry. No, it's totally fine.
Unknown Speaker 24:50
So my horsey friend
Unknown Speaker 24:55
nay,
Unknown Speaker 24:57
call her Nay. Call her name. So nae.
Unknown Speaker 25:00
Sent me a message and was like, Hey, you remember this guy? Oh, hey,
Unknown Speaker 25:08
so I love Hey.
Unknown Speaker 25:11
Nay loves Hey, sorry I derailed your
Unknown Speaker 25:17
that's totally fine. We need some levity, because this is fucking batshit insane. So this guy that we went to high school with, he's married, has several kids, and I guess he's fundraising, because he's going to leave Texas and travel to California to go to a school, and it is a school run by a church.
Unknown Speaker 25:46
I won't get like, too heavily into this, since we just did a zillion episodes on religious stuff, but I'm gonna talk a little bit about this church and this practice that they say they don't do but there's evidence that they do that, like, actually blows my mind. Okay, they're gonna say he joined Scientology. I was like, honestly, maybe that would be better. Oh, wow. This is weird. We did happen to walk by the Scientology building in New York City, which I didn't know there was one. I'll just add that to the Instagram pictures. Oh, cool, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 26:24
Did you see any of them? Oh, we saw a lady walk out and she started smoking, which I don't know if that's like a loud Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 26:34
Like, I know they recruit people through, like, detoxing is one method, like stopping doing drugs and stuff like that.
Unknown Speaker 26:44
Insane. But I would love to hear about this church. It is Bethel Church in California.
Unknown Speaker 26:54
So they are a church that
Unknown Speaker 26:57
one of their big things is focusing on miracles. So they're one of these churches that use faith healing. No, they think you can cure cancer. Regrow limbs. No. Regrow limbs. That makes me so angry. Raise the dead.
Unknown Speaker 27:18
They do. Speaking in tongues, casting out demons.
Unknown Speaker 27:23
A lot of their well, some of their services may have
Unknown Speaker 27:28
the church members
Unknown Speaker 27:31
like showing signs that they're full of the Holy Spirit, which is like them falling on the ground, shaking, screaming, crying, laughing, all that weird shit. It
Unknown Speaker 27:46
actually sounds like kind of a nice release. Yeah, actually, I'm
Unknown Speaker 27:52
like Instagram and Facebook for some like, weird little healing camps where it's just like
Unknown Speaker 27:58
laying on yoga mats in the dark, and they're just like, screaming and crying, and I'm like,
Unknown Speaker 28:04
I don't think you need to pay money to do that, but okay, do that for free.
Unknown Speaker 28:11
So they also kind of
Unknown Speaker 28:15
did a thing during covid, like Kenneth Copeland, where they're like, covid, cannot live in the presence of the Lord,
Unknown Speaker 28:26
and so they did, like fucking zoom calls to cure people's covid and other stuff like that.
Unknown Speaker 28:38
And bethel's, I didn't look to see if he's still the pastor, because, frankly, I don't care. But
Unknown Speaker 28:46
the current the pastor at that time, his wife, her name's Benny. That's a cute name for a woman. It is B and I, she has some not so cute actions,
Unknown Speaker 28:59
but she posted a video saying
Unknown Speaker 29:04
about Matt people wearing masks. She was mocking them. Of course,
Unknown Speaker 29:09
if you'll do the scientific research, you'll find these masks. Masks are worthless and they're people's security blankets. We won't be shopping and giving them any money, because you have to wear a
Unknown Speaker 29:24
stupid freaking mask that doesn't work, a security blanket's A good thing to have, right? It is like,
Unknown Speaker 29:33
No, you're supposed to pull yourself up by the bootstraps.
Unknown Speaker 29:39
So something that Bethel Church has gained national recognition over
Unknown Speaker 29:46
in December of 2019,
Unknown Speaker 29:50
there were a couple that were going to the church. They had two children, the younger of the children, who was two year two years old. Her name was actually on.
Unknown Speaker 30:00
Olive, which was my oldest cat's name, but olive sadly died when she was two. I don't know exactly why. I think she died in her sleep,
Unknown Speaker 30:13
and the church decided to just rally around little olive, and they decided they were gonna raise her from the dead. Oh, yeah. So
Unknown Speaker 30:28
1000s of people were in on it.
Unknown Speaker 30:32
The pastor made a public statement. The Church said that the physical resurrection was possible in modern times, and in a video addressing critics, Senior Pastor Bill Johnson said that there was a biblical, biblical precedent for this belief, and that Jesus commanded His disciples to raise the dead. And so they worked on this for six days before they gave up and finally, like
Unknown Speaker 31:01
buried her. Oh, that's really sad. Six days, ah, but, I mean, I know she was dead, but that poor little girl, like, that's, yeah, really insane. I mean, I think Jesus was really just trying to say, like, let's just throw a rager, you know, raise the
Unknown Speaker 31:24
fuck, fuck. Raise the roof. Raise the dead man. Raise the dead.
Unknown Speaker 31:28
There was also something with like, while they were doing all this, they raised like, $100,000
Unknown Speaker 31:36
but it's not really clear what the money was used for, where it went. I didn't really look into that, because I'm like, Okay, now we're getting into the same song and dance that we talked about for our episodes. So sorry, was the money raised for just the stuff with olive, or just other things for the church? It was raised like around stuff with olive. But we don't really know where the money went, or, I don't know the whole story with the money. Yeah. So they were like, we have to pay. The spirit. We didn't raise enough money to raise,
Unknown Speaker 32:11
yeah, yeah. So this guy went to high school with was like, Holy shit, this church looks so cool. I'm gonna take my I'm gonna take my family, and we're gonna move across the country, and I'm gonna join this church. I'm sure they gave up a lot of their earthly possessions as well. I'm sure. So one thing that this Bethel Church has is the Bethel School of supernatural ministry.
Unknown Speaker 32:45
It sounds like a school of wizard. I've
Unknown Speaker 32:50
actually called it like Christian Harry Potter.
Unknown Speaker 32:57
Yeah, it's insane.
Unknown Speaker 33:01
So basically, when you go to that school, you're kind of learning how to do all this shit of like laying your hands on people and healing them. And you're a pastor. You are a pastor. Fairy, yes, sorry, Harry, you're pastor, Harry, like you're wizard Harry.
Unknown Speaker 33:23
That went over my head. Man, no, it's cool. I'm sorry I don't understand. No, I'm just like, oh my god, they just learned how to be pastor fairy people and heal with the Lords. And it's really sucking, because they didn't bring olive back. And so they're learning how to do shit like that. So they literally think that you can raise people from the dead, nerdy as hell. I'm not gonna lie, like what a lot of those black magic people are into and stuff too. It's just like nerds. Yeah, it's
Unknown Speaker 34:02
I can't believe that people think that someone has literally died and they will come back, yeah, like, clinically dead, like, I think that they left olive at the coroner's office while they were doing this. So she's just like, fucking sitting there. And they're like, wait. No, we can, we know, let's keep going more. Yeah, no, that's,
Unknown Speaker 34:26
I, pardon me questions if that's some kind of a weird coping thing too. But if that's, like, a plan thing we do when people die, then you know, people will literally do anything except go to therapy. So that makes perfect sense. Like, why would you go to therapy when you could just, like, keep someone else's kid at the morgue and, like, try to raise them, yeah. Why would you even need therapy? Try a resurrection.
Unknown Speaker 34:54
I'm feeling sad. Have you tried a resurrection?
Unknown Speaker 35:01
Um. So this church, they say that they don't do this practice, but there's people that have like witnessed them do it, and there's a literal picture of Benny doing it. Oh, so they do something, um,
Unknown Speaker 35:19
called grave soaking or grave sucking. What? Yeah, so I got this information from the website learning from christ.com
Unknown Speaker 35:34
what? I did
Unknown Speaker 35:37
not think that's where you would find information like this. But okay, yeah. And yeah, I was actually surprised with learning from christ.com because the person that I got all this information from at the end, they were like, I don't believe in this. I don't think that there's proof in the Bible that people should be doing this. So I was like, Oh, well, that's good. Okay, yeah. So the article is called, What is grave soaking, and where did it come from so grave soaking, also known as grave sucking, which is the grave sucking is the most unnerving term I think I've ever heard. Well, and I don't like the soaking either, because it just makes me think of like the Mormons sucking.
Unknown Speaker 36:18
What are we getting into? And if any fat heads have seen the movie salt burn. You know what grave soaking makes me think of never seen it. I don't want to spoil it for you.
Unknown Speaker 36:35
Yeah, highly recommend watching salt burn. Everyone has to watch it.
Unknown Speaker 36:40
So this is the practice of laying on a grave of a Christian known for having great faith. Practitioners believe that by doing this, they can soak up or grab the spiritual power that the deceased left behind. Who the fuck are people talking about like, I don't, I don't know how I live in this world. And they also
Unknown Speaker 37:07
live
Unknown Speaker 37:09
like,
Unknown Speaker 37:12
yeah, the person next to you in the checkout line could be doing this shit and not thinking it's odd. Oh God. They're like, trying to check out. They're like, Can you hurry up, have a grape. So again,
Unknown Speaker 37:29
man, Wow, that's some weird and disturbing. Yeah, have a little bit more about it.
Unknown Speaker 37:38
So this article is saying that although although grave sucking has received a lot of attention in the media, it should be noted that no Church's denominations, pastors or leaders condone this practice.
Unknown Speaker 37:55
This includes Bethel Church in California, where it is widely believed to have sprung from so, so basically, these weird bitches think that
Unknown Speaker 38:07
God, like symbolically gives you a cape, basically a mantle. Oh, okay, and that you
Unknown Speaker 38:17
your gifts from God are symbolized by this, like, Cape, so you can give other people this cape and, like, pass along your gifts. Oh, it's kind of the thing. So you hand me down,
Unknown Speaker 38:32
yeah, so, like, you would get Ashley Lynn's clothing. Yes, exactly. You got her mantle.
Unknown Speaker 38:41
I got her attitude as well.
Unknown Speaker 38:45
But yeah, basically, they think that if somebody doesn't pass along their hand me downs before they die, then they'll stay in the earth with them. And so you can approach your body and then you absorb, okay, so yeah,
Unknown Speaker 39:07
though the church denies that they do this,
Unknown Speaker 39:12
the pastor of the church, Bill Johnson, has said that staff members claim to never have encouraged receiving mantles through grave soaking.
Unknown Speaker 39:29
However, it seems like it did come from this church. And I saw people on Reddit talking about how when they were in this fucking school for wizards. Oh, they
Unknown Speaker 39:41
Christian wizards.
Unknown Speaker 39:43
They were encouraged to go to graveyards and pray and try to resurrect people so crazy. Maybe they're technically not doing it, but they're kind of doing it. I.
Unknown Speaker 40:00
Like, I assume they're trying to resurrect the people of, like, great Christian faith, or whatever that okay, okay, yeah, that's a,
Unknown Speaker 40:10
yeah, it's fucking I would just be terrified if I walked up almost, and someone's like, laying on the ground, like, give me your gifts, yeah. Or trying to, like, resurrect somebody. Now, if someone's like, mourning and laying on the grave, I just want to stay we're okay with that. Yeah, we're talking about this, like, energy sucking, religious boundary stepping kind of thing, yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 40:44
So there is actually a picture of Benny Johnson, the lady I mentioned earlier, laying on a grave. Oh, man, let me pull that up for you.
Unknown Speaker 40:59
Is she sleeping? I don't know what she's doing. So the Instagram, she's soaking. She's soaking.
Unknown Speaker 41:10
The Instagram account is gone now, but it was called pray for five actually, I think she's dead now, but I didn't look into it. It's like a church Instagram, or just like a religious personal Oh, okay, so she's laying on a grave. The caption says, what I do, lol.
Unknown Speaker 41:31
So I people are like she's making a joke, but
Unknown Speaker 41:38
I don't know. I guess the author, CS Lewis, was a really good Christian. So it says hashtag, CS Lewis, hashtag, Oxford trip. Yeah. I don't know if maybe there's something I don't get there. Is she on CS Lewis's grave? Yeah, yeah. Like the article says they go to popular or not popular, but like, famous people graves, yeah, just okay. I thought it was just like, Oh, this guy was like, us high end pastor of the church, and they would do that. But I didn't know it was like this well known literary author. Apparently it's anybody. But actually it's nobody, because they say it doesn't happen, even though there's a picture of it and other people have seen it happen, and even if she did that as a joke, that'd be more disrespectful than doing soaking or whatever.
Unknown Speaker 42:36
Yeah, and also not really what I expected her to look like, but it makes so much sense now that I see her, she looks like, love, yeah? White Lady with, like, short, curly, blonde hair that would like, get snippy at a Chili's waiter. Yeah, after church, after church, spoken tongues and done all this, you go yell at your teenage waiter and make her cry. That's just when they do don't tip her well exactly. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 43:04
that's, that's her,
Unknown Speaker 43:08
yeah. So yeah, this guy I went to high school with is gonna go and learn the ways of these people and have his children around this and, yeah, I wonder if he's gonna post any stoking images. Maybe,
Unknown Speaker 43:24
maybe part of me is like, maybe I should friend him on Facebook, but I'm like, I'll just get too mad, like it'll ruin my life every time he posts dumb shit. Yeah, yeah, I held on to a few people like that from high school, a few I've removed, and a few have removed me,
Unknown Speaker 43:42
but I don't even really use Facebook anymore, so yeah,
Unknown Speaker 43:47
yeah, I'm gonna ask my friend that told me about this to keep me updated. Yes. So perfect a proxy.
Unknown Speaker 43:57
She's kind of better at
Unknown Speaker 44:00
keeping people like this on her friends list. Like, there's this other girl that we went to high school with, um,
Unknown Speaker 44:08
who
Unknown Speaker 44:10
she's the kind of person that's like, Oh, I'm gonna donate food to the homeless. I bought all these pizzas. And then she'll filming. She'll film herself giving the pieces to people. Okay? And then more about the video. It's about the video, but she's saying, like, Oh yeah, it's about God and like, blah, blah, blah. So she keeps up with her as well. But I briefly friended her, and she posted something so ridiculous that I was immediately like, oh, well, gotta go
Unknown Speaker 44:41
for 24 hours.
Unknown Speaker 44:43
Hey, got it. See you later.
Unknown Speaker 44:47
Her
Unknown Speaker 44:48
name's Jillian. Fuck you, Jillian. And this guy's name is, is Anthony? So,
Unknown Speaker 44:55
yeah, typical Anthony behavior, actually, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 45:00
Well, the Jillian and Anthony and I know are kind of cool. The grave thing reminded me. Have you seen that girl? I don't know if it's just one video or she's made multiple, but she's like, clean this grave with me. Oh yeah. I'll insert the audio of that here, I guess. And we can roll out on that I suppose I'm at the graveyard at night,
Unknown Speaker 45:26
cleaning this abandoned grave for free. I have so many questions in my head. What happened? How did this grave get so dirty? Who's buried here? Her name's Bienvenida. Wow. Her name is welcome and Espanol. Wait a minute, her grave should be welcoming too, but right now, this is the dirtiest grave I've ever seen That's so unfair. Everyone deserves a beautiful resting place. Bienvenida died on July 23 1980 her star sign is Aries. My best friend is an Aries. I wonder what bienvenidas Life would like. Does she like chocolate cupcakes? What killed her? This transformation is a lot of work. I might be here all night, but it's so fun.
Unknown Speaker 46:05
Thank you to everyone who supports and follows. Yeah, at first I was like, Oh, that's cool. And then it was kind of one of those things like, Oh, why do you have to film it? Though? Yeah, you just do it or, and I don't know if this, I mean, I don't know if she actually found, like, dirty graves. But I know a lot of those cleaning channels will make things dirty and then clean them. Oh, so if that's what she did, that's fucked up. I have no idea if that's what she did. I know that that same
Unknown Speaker 46:34
woman would also clean like fast food bathrooms and shit.
Unknown Speaker 46:40
Oh,
Unknown Speaker 46:41
Chick like that
Unknown Speaker 46:43
follow me while I go work at Target, and then they just go start doing stuff. Yeah, fuck. Why are you giving target, like, probably an evil corporation, your free time. And, yeah, why are you helping them? And, I mean, like, the grave cleaning and stuff like, well, the bathroom cleaning. Like, yeah, sure, that's cool. I know people are understaffed, but people are also just worried because there's, like, certain chemicals and stuff that you're
Unknown Speaker 47:09
supposed to be used within guidelines and stuff, and I don't I'm sure it's the same with, like, grave sites. I'm sure if there's maybe approved chemicals, maybe it doesn't matter. But I you know, they have groundskeepers, so I assume there might be some type of, like, we like to use eco friendly things, or something like that. I don't know, but maybe all the products you use are, and I'm just a jerk idiot, but it's just weird to clean some weird grave for content it is and like, what if they're like us, and we're a spooky bitch, and want their grave to have moss growing on it, and they want it to look creepy. Yeah, exactly. I want my grave to look creepy. Yeah. I love that way too. Yeah. Ask Me Before You clean my grave,
Unknown Speaker 47:54
lay down and channel you and be like, Jamie, would you like us to clean this and then, and then I can report back, or, well, I don't know why I would outlive you.
Unknown Speaker 48:04
I might take a lot to respond, but you'll, you'll get a jolt or something, and you'll, know,
Unknown Speaker 48:12
kick in the painter. Yeah, kick in the painter. Or be like, Oh my god, I have to shit in the pool. So bad, right now. No, you just shaving. You shit your pants. And it's like, that's the sign I was looking for.
Unknown Speaker 48:26
And this is the sign you guys are looking for to follow us on Instagram, I guess, mainly just Instagram. Mainly Instagram. Sorry, I've been slacking a little on the gram lately, but start getting some more stuff out. You haven't been slacking, though. You got the awesome Fred Durst, yeah, the Fred Durst picture. We got that up. So if you guys want to check that out, I'll probably post another one, because I did make one other edit.
Unknown Speaker 48:50
We put that up. I was hoping that maybe he would like, like our post, or something, me too. Maybe I like the second one. I tagged him. I was like, he but he's like, not Sam, I keep on rolling on that partner, keep on ignoring baby.
Unknown Speaker 49:09
And you shouldn't ignore our review button, yes and stuff, you should totally click that. You should give it attention. I also noticed that now on Spotify, you can leave comments on individual episodes. Oh, feel free
Unknown Speaker 49:28
to leave a comment. Um, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to help boost stuff. So, yeah, so, yeah, yeah. Do that put a little like he, he Ha, ha, or pee, pee, poopoo in there. Yeah. Cool, cool. And, you know you guys, pee pee, poopoo, you know, pee pee, poo poo, keep it, pee pee, yeah, oh, sorry, oh, we're just gonna say fucking party on, yeah, party on, well, do pee pee, Poopoo.
Unknown Speaker 49:57
Bye, bye. Yeah.