Vincent Gallo…this guy sucks…interested in purchasing a weekend with him?!
Vincent Gallo…this guy sucks…interested in purchasing a weekend with him?!
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
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Speaker 1 0:00
Okay, Alyssa, yes. Over the weekend, me and Brandon were driving our super cool car, super cool sport boy car. And I know this isn't, like, super embarrassing, but for some reason it just made me cringe so hard. We stopped at a stoplight, and I was like, oh, like, those guys are checking out the car, some people that were waiting to cross the street. So Brandon rolled the window down a little bit and cranked up the music, and it was playing You don't gotta go to work today"
Speaker 1 0:59
and I don't know why, but I was just cringing so bad, please, please. They're staring and, like, they started kind of, at least what I took as laughter, you know, they're kind of smirk. And I was like, Oh, please. They're, they're, they're, uh, you know, please change it. Like, I can't, I can't do this, um, so he changed it. And later he was like, you know, it's probably cringier to change the song. I was like, I don't care. I couldn't sit there in the car
Unknown Speaker 1:28
blasting it, like we were trying to be cool or something like, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 1:34
Like, I get driving around loud music's fun, but like, we're sitting there, they're looking at us. And then, like, he thought it would be funny, I guess to fuck with me, and I was like, No, like you succeeded. I go to work. Work. So you know, you don't have to go to work, but if you do, you should listen to nervous laughter podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:55
Thank
Unknown Speaker 1:55
you. Welcome. I'm Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 1:59
I'm Alyssa.
Speaker 1 2:02
Show. Oh, what I was just gonna say? I'm sorry about your car trauma. I would have been embarrassed. It's okay. Yeah, it wasn't that big, but, but hey,
Unknown Speaker 2:14
I didn't have anything better to open with. So,
Speaker 1 2:19
oh, one thing I would like to congratulate you on in the last episode, you know, you said that y'all didn't have decorative towels, but I've noticed as an adult you have scalloped toilet paper, and that's pretty fancy. Thank you. I didn't even, I didn't even realize it was scalloped until I picked it up from the store. Well, yeah, because I do grocery pickup, and I was like, Oh, I got fancy toys. And we also talked about the floppy titty award in this episode. And, you know, I think you might get the floppy titty award this episode. I might have to pass it over. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 3:01
thank you. Oh, Brandon is so funny.
Unknown Speaker 3:07
He's playing a game and it got intense.
Unknown Speaker 3:11
Well, thank you. Thank you to you and to Brandon.
Speaker 1 3:17
Well, I hope to honor the floppy titty award this episode, I have some very rage inducing things to bring. But Oh, joy. But we can definitely laugh at this guy. Actually, one of the first things I have is making fun of him. Let me get some water to prepare for the rage. Okay? Oh, you might need it if you get like all hot, like they do in cartoons when you're mad, then I'll dump the water on you and it'll steam. Yes, that could very well happen. So have you ever heard of a man named Vincent Gallo? My name sounds kind of familiar, but I don't know if it just sounds like other names. He is famous for two movies. He directed buffalo 66 and the brown bunny. Oh, okay,
Unknown Speaker 4:12
buckle up. Oh boy.
Speaker 1 4:15
So he is a huge douche. Wikipedia says that he grew up working for the local mafia, starting at the age of 12 in Buffalo, New York. So I'm gonna try to do a New York. I feel like my Chicago and New York become two or one, not two piano numbers.
Unknown Speaker 4:44
So Gallo
Speaker 1 4:48
helped the mafia boys with such crimes as carjacking and shoplifting. This Wikipedia thing is so weird says he worked for the mafia. Mafia for approximately one year, and decided to continue down the life of crime and become a powerful gangster. However, he was eventually convinced by a mafia member who felt like Gallo was wasting his potential to abandon it in favor of a legitimate career, which to me, sounds very made up. Yeah, because why would a dude in the mafia like give a fuck about a 12 year old that's doing their bidding? Maybe I'm judging the mafia too largely, but
Unknown Speaker 5:39
the Mafia's got really nice people. You're
Speaker 1 5:41
really harsh. Yeah, hey, hey kid,
Unknown Speaker 5:47
I think you got potential. You got potential. Yeah, you can do more than steal cars. I believe in you. For some reason I'm just like, it's a hot dog.
Speaker 1 6:01
Don't steal the hot dogs anymore. Get a new job.
Unknown Speaker 6:08
So he decided to do that.
Speaker 1 6:13
He was a Formula Two motorcycle racer, which I don't know what that means. I know we have Formula One that comes here to Austin, but whatevs. And then he transitioned into becoming a painter, did some music shit, and then later he got into film and television. I'm going to be talking about two of his films, independent films that sounds so much more prestigious than what they are. He directed, wrote and starred in these movies. So be good. It's kind of Quentin Tarantino vibes, kind of represent yourself in court. Vibes, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 6:58
So buffalo 66 came out in 1988
Speaker 1 7:03
and but I'll just say both of these movies like I saw them when I was a teenager, and I thought they were cool because they're
Unknown Speaker 7:10
edgy, but
Speaker 1 7:13
they're not very good. I mean, okay, Christina, Ricci slash, Ricky, I never know. Yeah, she's in it, and she's great in it. Her character is really cute. There's a part where she like tap dances, and it's really fun. But basically he kidnaps her to, like, impress his parents. Like, look, I have a wife. Oh, and I'm like, I just remember a large part of the movie is him, like, frantically looking for a bathroom,
Unknown Speaker 7:44
stupid.
Speaker 1 7:52
And we're gonna see how he's a little bean bitch baby as well. So during filming, it's reported that Gallo and Christina had trouble working together, according to her, he was a crazy lunatic man. Oh, and in the movie, his character is a fucking asshole to her. And I really don't think he was acting. I think he's just kind of like that. Okay. She also said that he mocked her weight several years after the film was released, and she had no interest in ever seeing any of his other films. Yeah, and of course, he's like, that's not what happened? And he said, I still smile when I see a picture of her and when she insults me in the press, it reminds me that we were connected in some way, and for that, I am grateful. Christina Ricci was a friend during the filming of buffalo 66 and working with her made sense and felt natural. I insulted her jokingly one day to a friend and a sneaky gossip writer overheard me, Christina and I have not spoken since God,
Unknown Speaker 9:14
so we're just kind of Yeah, stupid,
Unknown Speaker 9:16
yeah. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 9:19
then brown bunny came out in 2003
Speaker 1 9:24
it's basically kind of like a mopey, sad boy movie where he's traveling. And the big controversy with it, he was dating another person that I don't really know how to say their name, but Chloe, Savini, syveni, oh, no, okay, I think I know you're talking about Yeah. So apparently they were dating, and in the movie, she actually gives him a blowjob like it's not simulated. Oh, wow. Okay, so yeah, he. Has this whole movie just about him being a sad boy and, like, getting a blow job. And it's just like, it's very like, shut the fuck up. Your movie fucking sucks. Woohoo. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 10:17
so bad.
Speaker 1 10:20
So at the film premiere, Roger Ebert stated that brown Bunny was the worst film in the history of cans. Good gala retorted by claiming Ebert a fat pig with the physique of a slave trader. What? What kind of, what,
Unknown Speaker 10:45
weird fucking insult,
Speaker 1 10:47
no fucking idea. And then he put a hex on Ebert, wishing him to get colon cancer. Oh, okay, it's one thing to be like, I wish you could serve but actually like
Unknown Speaker 10:59
doing something, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 11:07
I'm not getting cancer
Speaker 1 11:11
here ever. Then responded, adapting a statement made by Winston Churchill, although I am fat, one day, I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will have always been the director of brown bunny.
Unknown Speaker 11:25
Oh, that's fucking awesome.
Speaker 1 11:29
Yeah. And then there's some reports that Gallo ended up apologizing to Ebert, but then Gallo said I never apologized for anything in my life. The only thing that I'm sorry about is putting a curse on Roger Ebers Ebert's colon. It's a fat pig like Roger Ebert doesn't like my movie, then I'm sorry for him. Oh, my god, wow. Yeah, fuck
Unknown Speaker 11:54
this guy. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 11:58
I just feel flabbergasted right now.
Speaker 1 12:01
Oh, let me show you a picture of a very big baby, because growing up, I was like, I'm good. He's so high troubled. And now I look at him and I'm just like, piece of shit. I he seems like one of those guys that's just trying to look mysterious and like, here's a good picture. Oh, okay. He has really blue eyes. And I feel like he's always playing up that he has blue eyes. He's like, one of those dudes. Look at my troubled blue eyes, my tou's hair. I yeah, he looks like someone that would be a really huge asshole, yeah, and also, uh, he, I get a vibe, but he's a person that can say a lot, but not actually, like, say anything, you know, like, oh yeah, he probably thinks he's saying something very insightful. And like, whoa, but it's just not well, Jamie, it's funny that you say that because he's a lifelong Republican and conservative. Oh, well, yep, there, yep, there you go. So, yeah, you you psychically predicted that he is definitely anti abortion, anti drug and anti pornography. What? But he did got a fucking blow job in a movie like
Unknown Speaker 13:31
me. Yeah, no fucking idea.
Speaker 1 13:35
He is a big fan of President Richard Nixon and described him as an intellectual. Oh, okay. And in 2018 he expressed his support for President Donald Trump, of course, writing that he is extremely proud that he is the American president.
Unknown Speaker 13:59
Ah, yep,
Speaker 1 14:00
yeah, so, and there's so many more things. Like, when I was looking for information, I saw a clip of him on a podcast talking about liberals, and he's just a fucking idiot. So, yeah, so that's just a little to to warm you up, because the rest is gonna get real crazy. So I'm gonna show you his website. I don't think it's been updated in like 20 years, which I'll get to
Unknown Speaker 14:35
Vincent gala.com
Unknown Speaker 14:38
so here's his
Speaker 1 14:39
website. It's like two pictures of him, like facing each other. They kind of look like mug shots. Yeah, one's like clean cut, and the other one's like, edgy, edgy bad boy. So then you click this little heart that says, Click, um. It's really basic screen. Different things that you can do, like look at his acting. You can buy different things, but one of the hearts, they have little heart bullet points. One of them is a different color. There's a pink heart next to merchandise, and it says, click. So you go to it takes you to this picture of him, known as junk. He's kind of like in a little sailor boy outfit, holding his peanut. That's very like male pin up. That's a perfect description. And then you go to there's all different things you can buy. So then there's a tab, you know, like his CDs, books, stills from his movie. There's a tab called personal services. I uh, silence. Escort, like it is okay. So this is a listing Vincent Gallo, evenings, weekends. Escort, oh, he
Unknown Speaker 16:15
just literally okay. And this isn't America.
Speaker 1 16:20
Is he in like Vegas, or where is this legal? Like, what? No, I guess he just, he's like, fuck it. Okay, I'm just gonna go for it. So the cost is $50,000 Oh, says wish, dream or fantasy, when with Vincent Gallo, ladies. Oh, so in this, in the next little post, here, he talks about being 43 which now he's 63 so this has been up for 20 years. Oh, and he kept
Unknown Speaker 16:57
any photos or anything. No,
Speaker 1 16:59
do you happen to know if anyone has purchased I don't. I think I'm gonna have to give back my floppy titty journalism award, because, oh no. Well, it just didn't occur to me to look at that. I
Unknown Speaker 17:13
mean, I probably wouldn't have thought about it either if I was
Speaker 1 17:17
like, I deserve the floppy titty. You do this is fantastic. Tell me more
Unknown Speaker 17:21
about how great I am. Just like this man to pay, we paid $50,000 for someone to hang out for a weekend.
Speaker 1 17:32
Okay, so I'm gonna read his little article thing. It's four paragraphs, and then I did a little price breakdown for us. Ooh, goody, have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with one of the actors the way they looked, or a character they played? And feel free to jump in at any point. This is a stream of bullshit afterwards. You thought of them over and over, daydreaming, imagining things, sexy things. When I was very young, I was madly in love with Tuesday Weld and Charlotte Rampling. On my 14th birthday, I went to see the film Rolling Thunder, and had my biggest crush of all on the actress Linda Haynes. I wished and wished and wished every day that I could meet all these girls. I thought of a lot of sexy things with Susan Blakely after seeing her in Lords of Flatbush.
Unknown Speaker 18:34
Why are you telling this us? Dude,
Speaker 1 18:38
he wants to be relatable. He knows people want to fuck actors, so he's doing you a favor and giving you the chance. Okay, in my mind, I could do anything I could do with her, anything I wanted to. So believe me, I know and understand what it's like to wish and dream about spending time with a movie star doing things that couples do, couples in love, at least couples where the guy is hot and he knows how to handle it.
Unknown Speaker 19:16
So funny. Yeah, like that. He
Unknown Speaker 19:20
added that
Unknown Speaker 19:21
me too. He has some subtle Yeah,
Speaker 1 19:23
and I am, I don't know. I feel like I didn't get as lusty about actors as he did when I was younger. Yeah. I mean, when you're carjacking and doing shit for the mafia. You know you're living fast. You could die young. So, you know you're thinking about floppy titties. Floppy titties, I mean. So then he goes on to say, I let me get my. My douche voice, I feel like I've done like 15 different voices for him, but I Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and the brown bunny. Have decided to make myself available for all women, all women who could afford to buy me then, for the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses. Oh, my God, I can fulfill the wish, dream or fantasy of any naturally born female. Oh, my God, this D covers one evening with Vincent Gallo, one evening, I thought it was like a weekend or something. Oh, my God, there's add ons if you do want to just have to pay a little more. Yeah, extra, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 20:46
The fee covers one evening.
Speaker 1 20:49
For those who who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to a mere $100,000 Oh, my God. Heavy. Said older. Redheads and even Black Chicks can have me if they can pay the bill.
Unknown Speaker 21:13
It's almost like he's saying these are women that
Speaker 1 21:16
I typically don't like saying would never hang out with or have sex with? Wow, and we'll get to that later. We're definitely gonna revisit. This is what he doesn't like. This is a man of God you said, or whatever. Actually, no, he's like pornography. Yeah, he's conservative. I don't know his religious beliefs, but man, now, like,
Unknown Speaker 21:38
okay,
Speaker 1 21:40
maybe some conservatives are into selling their body. I didn't know that, you know, I think when you're a really strong conservative, you just, you say that things should be a certain way, but then you just, like, make shit up when you want to do it, yeah, because
Unknown Speaker 21:54
it doesn't affect them, yeah,
Speaker 1 21:55
yeah. Like, you know, Donald Trump would say he's a Christian and stuff, but then, you know, he was an adulterer and and,
Unknown Speaker 22:06
yeah, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 22:12
Old Testament, New Testament.
Unknown Speaker 22:15
He likes small.
Unknown Speaker 22:17
This guy likes small too. I'm sure
Speaker 1 22:22
no real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever be my client. No homo. Okay, so that's what the actress that you just like descriptively told us you could do anything within your brain and see how short it was about that. Think
Unknown Speaker 22:46
about any ghost shit with me? Yeah, wow, Ooh,
Unknown Speaker 22:52
sorry, no, no very red pill guy.
Unknown Speaker 22:55
Oof,
Unknown Speaker 22:56
no way. Jose,
Speaker 1 23:02
however, female couples of the lesbian persuasion, God can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000 200,000 buys the Lesbos a weekend. Oh, it says buys the Lesbos. Oh, my God, reading this verbatim. You I'm reading this verbatim. It's like he's charging them double for something that he wants exactly,
Unknown Speaker 23:32
exactly, fucking awful.
Unknown Speaker 23:37
A weekend though,
Speaker 1 23:38
I didn't read the I like glanced at this, but I haven't really read it all the way through. It says a weekend that will have them second guessing, I'm gonna turn you straight. Oh yeah, both lesbians are just after they have sex, they go out and sit on the porch, and they're like, You know I love you, but I think I'm straight. I know I mutually agree with you. See, seeing that guy's hot dog, his long ass hot dog, really made me, I don't know why they're from New York too. Yeah. I
Unknown Speaker 24:15
mean, of course, they're
Speaker 1 24:17
Yeah, and then they're like, Yeah, we should, we should just marry we should just marry him and then have hot lesbian wise, yeah, how hot lesbian six with them every night. There's two short paragraphs left of those spoken vomit. I mean, I'm willing to travel worldwide to accommodate clients. However, travel days are billed at 50,000 plus all premium flight fees. What? Wow. Okay, okay, scanning for STDs is required. Required, as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter. Agreed. Yeah, that's good. Fair. Only fair thing in here, detailed photos of potential clients also require prior.
Unknown Speaker 25:15
Oh, I thought that was a typo, but I just can't read.
Speaker 1 25:19
An extra fee for security to protect me is charged on top of the fantasy fee. What security fees will vary depending on the details of the encounter and how much security I will need. I have no idea what kind of world this guy's living in. He's just so into himself, it's fucking crazy, insane. And speaking of being into himself, this is the last paragraph. Potential clients are advised to screen the controversial scene from the brown bunny to be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Oh, my God. Clients who have doubt. May want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me. Oh, my God, that is hilarious. He must be this wide terrace.
Unknown Speaker 26:16
Oh god,
Speaker 1 26:19
you may be surprised just how much you can handle and how good it feels. Oh, and then he basically says you gotta pay cash, no credit card, and to email him,
Unknown Speaker 26:32
I feel like he gave himself a boner writing this.
Unknown Speaker 26:35
I'm sure he probably wrote it with his boner. Jake is so big. Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 26:39
Oh my god. I don't want to wash my critically acclaimed movie brown bunny that literally everyone hated, and it kind of ended his career because everyone hated it. Oh, really, yeah, but now he's kind of like a conservative talking head, and this so my little price breakdown, we have the 50k flat rate. So that's even if you're a fatty, that's fine. If you have 50k totally fine. If you live somewhere outside of New York, or wherever the fuck he lives, that's 50k per travel day. Then the cost of security, and then once y'all are done with the date, he's got to fly back again. So that's another 50. So you're in it for, I'm guessing 200,000 Damn, yeah, probably more. Probably, I don't know how much security cost, but yeah, I feel like that would be people do
Unknown Speaker 27:35
you need? Like,
Speaker 1 27:38
and, I mean, who knows what other kind of bullshit expenses he'll come up with. He's gonna be like, Oh, you don't have a bidet. Yeah, we need to get one of those installed, and you have to pay for it. There's a fatty surcharge. He doesn't mention this, charges
Unknown Speaker 27:53
by the minute for that.
Speaker 1 27:55
Oh, God. So what did you think about that? Um, I think that was crazy that it's not fake. Yeah, I think when I looked it up, I was kind of thinking like, well, he's kind of a weird, artsy dude, so maybe this is like, really weird humor to him that just didn't translate, but I didn't say anything about it being fake. Yeah, it's been up for 20 years, so crazy. Never taken it down. It must be in demand and very successful, I'm sure. So Jamie, I know you're already in it 200k Oh God no, I couldn't take anymore. Well, if you have $1 million Do you know what you can get a full week? Or wait, I I get to go to Disney World with him for a weekend. Um, it's a Disney World of disgusting.
Unknown Speaker 29:03
It is his sperm.
Unknown Speaker 29:06
Oh, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 29:10
you can buy the sky sperm.
Unknown Speaker 29:13
No sperm is worth $1 million
Unknown Speaker 29:16
this is,
Unknown Speaker 29:20
I mean $1 million
Speaker 1 29:23
and there's gonna be some added expenses, which we'll get to, Oh God, what? So he says price includes all costs related to one attempt at in vitro fertilization, which is a $50,000 value. So this is just the sperm he's gonna J in a cup, I guess, and give it to you if the first attempt of in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. Yes, Mr. Gallo will surprise supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and successful delivery, sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo, who is drug, alcohol and disease free,
Unknown Speaker 30:22
a humble rag,
Speaker 1 30:23
if the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, oh, there's an additional charge of $500,000 Whoa. Okay, so, so you're in it a million flat rate. Yeah, and then, and that's just sperm. That's just sperm. If you want to fuck him, it's half a million. So you're already at 1.5 so does the escort service include fucking or is that an additional 50 for the escort? Because you could totally get to sperm cheaper if you just do an escort. But maybe he is very adamant about condoms, or maybe he makes sure, I mean, this is a million dollars, so he's probably like protecting it away.
Unknown Speaker 31:18
I described him the grossest way
Unknown Speaker 31:27
possible, in her mouth. He's
Unknown Speaker 31:31
like, spit it out,
Speaker 1 31:32
spit it out, spit it out. Security in the sink.
Unknown Speaker 31:36
You're not keeping that. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 31:38
my God. Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 31:46
However, if, after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee
Unknown Speaker 31:56
and charge only for the sperm itself so
Unknown Speaker 32:00
you're high, he'll just fuck you for
Unknown Speaker 32:01
a million Sure, I'll
Unknown Speaker 32:03
fuck you.
Unknown Speaker 32:06
Okay, wow,
Unknown Speaker 32:09
for those of you, oh, sorry. Were you gonna say something? No, I'm
Unknown Speaker 32:12
just I speechless. Is all
Unknown Speaker 32:16
you're about to get more speechless? Oh, God.
Speaker 1 32:21
Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, humblebrag, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey, and making it to the professional level of Grand Prix motorcycle race racing. Mr. Gallo is 511 and has blue eyes, I'll say not tall enough for a lot of women. That's true. I'm surprised he put his height or he didn't put like six, five, even though he's 511 I almost just want him. I don't care about people's heights, but him being who he is, I almost just want to make fun of him for his height. Just agree a small
Unknown Speaker 33:22
very sensitive topic for
Speaker 1 33:26
there are known, there are no known genetic deformity for women Aries in his ancestry, and in parentheses, it says no cripples. Oh, my God, no. Surprised he also didn't mention like, Oh, don't worry about the ethnicity too. Like, there's no like other ethnicity except for like, European.
Unknown Speaker 33:54
We'll get to that. Oh, God.
Unknown Speaker 33:59
So I can't believe it's like, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1 34:02
This guy's fucking asshole. It's bad. So no, no cripples, and I'm reading a quote I would never speak like that, and no history of congenital diseases. If you have ever seen the brown bunny? You know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy? Ew, eight inches, if he's like his father, yeah, because I care about my child's genitals. Ew, I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt,
Unknown Speaker 34:50
okay, it's all about the dick. All about the dick.
Speaker 1 34:56
Mr. Gallo also presently maintains. Is a distinctively full head of hair at the age of 43 with surprisingly few gray hairs. They gotta update that now, since he's like 63 Yeah. So this has been up for 20 years. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexion. Oh, so he's basically like just doing his own really weird selective breeding kind of thing, exactly. God Yes, Chris, because it's like, I only want rich, pretty, white women to have my sperm.
Unknown Speaker 35:54
Elaborates, don't worry. Oh God,
Speaker 1 35:58
though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne. Mr. Gallo does not want to be a part of that type of integration.
Unknown Speaker 36:11
In fact, for the
Speaker 1 36:13
next 30 days, which this is up 20 years later, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Oh, my God, anyone who can prove a direct link to any of the German soldiers of the mid century will also receive this discount. So, oh my,
Unknown Speaker 36:46
oh god,
Unknown Speaker 36:47
this was just so disgusting.
Speaker 1 36:48
Okay, like full Q and on, yeah, okay,
Unknown Speaker 36:53
and again, half off if they, if they're
Speaker 1 36:55
white blonde woman, yeah, okay, or German, under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion.
Unknown Speaker 37:12
This would be added
Speaker 1 37:14
incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother. His reasoning being the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture, Motion Picture acting, or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance of good reviews and maybe even a chance at a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. So he is saying that qanon shit that think like Jewish people control the media. Oh, so he's trying to be like, Well, maybe if the baby's Jewish, they'll go further than me. Oh, my God. I just, I don't even know what to say. That's fucking crazy. I feel like he just needs to find a wife, instead of trying to, like, populate the world. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 38:26
if that part didn't
Speaker 1 38:27
make sense, I could reread it. I feel like I was like, figuring that out as I read it. No, no. It's uh, at school, even just like that little recap that you gave at the end. That's just like, he believes in the qanon Shit. So
Unknown Speaker 38:40
he's a qanon boy, I'm sure. Oh, man, that's um,
Unknown Speaker 38:47
he's really straightforward about that. All right,
Speaker 1 38:51
to be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo the purchaser. Purchaser must find another surname for the child, and then again, no credit cards. You gotta do cash check or bancquire, wow. So, yeah, wow. Mr. Gallo is a real piece of art,
Unknown Speaker 39:21
and he's an artist, so
Unknown Speaker 39:25
art, maybe it's doo. Doo, yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 39:30
don't know. I
Speaker 1 39:31
just this guy just needs to go, just like, live on a cliff side. No, not even cliffside, if that has a nice view, he just needs to go live, but in one of those residences that's behind Anish Kapoor's studio that he built, yes holler and blocked all the light in the view. I say he should go back to his life of crime, and hopefully things will sort themselves out. That I like that. That's a good approach. Hey, you fucking. Bitch, you've been out of the game for a long time. I'm selling sperm, selling my body here. Hey, I've been out of the game because I'm trying to sell the sperm to the ladies, the Aryan ladies, for someone who's conservative. He I mean, I feel like that's something a lot of conservatives would be angry at people for doing, selling your body and selling your butt, if it's to further the white race. I think a lot of them would be, yeah, the white straight race. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that fucking bat shit insane. I I saw tick tock of this, and I was like, Is this real or, like, did he post this as a joke? And, like, by the time I go to the website, it's gonna be taken down. No, wow, that's um, I just, how do you even achieve that level of confidence that I maybe it's just being
Unknown Speaker 41:09
baby. People want to buy my time. They want to buy my sperm.
Speaker 1 41:15
I mean, of course, the perfect male specimen. Can
Unknown Speaker 41:20
you imagine that, like,
Speaker 1 41:23
Oh, my God, that level of confidence should truly be criminal. I mean, it does
Unknown Speaker 41:31
almost lead to criminal negligence,
Speaker 1 41:35
especially if escorting is illegal in the states that he's in true, um, yeah, um, oh, is this guy very popular? Or, like, was he popular at one one, is there, like, a little cult following for him? Um, ish, I guess, honestly, it didn't look that much because I was kind of worried I was going to end up on the wrong side of YouTube, like of Andrew Tate, yeah, I did see a video that somebody made a couple years ago, and they were talking about this, and they were like, well, he's a crazy guy, but he's like, a creative genius. I'm like, No, he's not, like, Buffalo 66 is pretty good. I guess brown bunny fucking sucks, like it ended his career, and now he goes on podcasts and talks about liberals and stuff. I don't think he's done art or anything in a while. I mean, that would be gay, right? Yeah, not what he does. It's a conservative thing, like other people, not for him, okay, yeah, I guess he's big in Japan. Oh, there's an audience in Japan that really likes him. So I think he's still kind of doing some stuff. And I think he had a movie after Brown bunny. I never saw it. I don't know if it wasn't.
Unknown Speaker 43:10
I don't know the guy that
Speaker 1 43:12
made a video about this. He didn't ever mention that, but Wikipedia said there was another movie. So Okay, okay, I don't know, but that was like, in 2010 so still, that's been a while. Yeah, he pretty much got laughed out of Hollywood for being like, this is my sad boy movie. But also, look at me. Get a blow drive. I'm so cool. Look how pretty I am. He's like, look what's proof that I can't have sex and my penis is, is big. Oh yeah, man, that's just ridiculous. And I'm, I'm just kind of confused at how a person like this was created, yeah, you know, and I'm kind of surprised more people
Unknown Speaker 44:01
aren't
Speaker 1 44:04
talking about him, because I almost feel like there's a group of people that would love this type of shit, especially right now. So I'm surprised more people aren't, like, getting excited about it, since you know he's talking about some horrific racist shit. Yeah, well, I'm glad that the racists don't know about him. I guess
Unknown Speaker 44:27
maybe that's a I guess that's just how
Unknown Speaker 44:29
irrelevant he is. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 44:34
It was really bad. So even though we have the same beliefs,
Unknown Speaker 44:39
I can't participate. I
Speaker 1 44:41
kind of just want to meet them and just be like, Oh, who are you,
Unknown Speaker 44:47
and what did you and, oh,
Speaker 1 44:49
you're a director. Oh, what movies did you do? I haven't heard of them. Like, did they? Did they just come out? Oh, yeah, I would love to do that to a person. Something like that. Yeah, I don't know what he's up to now. I'll use my saggy titty award and do a little bit more looking and see if I can find because I'm sure I can see him being a person that does rants on Twitter, and maybe there's some interesting stuff there. I feel like he's just, like, furiously jerking
Unknown Speaker 45:22
off to weird gay porn,
Speaker 1 45:25
not. I'm not saying gay porn is weird, but a section a sec of gay porn that has weird things in it, yeah, I feel like when people are like this, when they're trying too hard, like, Yeah, especially when you specifically say men don't even think about doing it with me. Like, yeah, if you were secure dude, you wouldn't fucking care. Like, it doesn't matter somebody's thinking stuff about you, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 45:53
yeah. So,
Speaker 1 45:56
and it's kind of bold of him to assume that so many men want to be with him. So,
Unknown Speaker 46:04
yeah, um,
Speaker 1 46:04
but if you liked that, you can go buy $100 guitar pick, or, why? Oh yeah, like, signed by him, or something. No, just from his tour. I'll read you. I'll read you some other things on the website. Oh, that he sells, um, there's a limited edition CD for $80 what a what a year to sell
Unknown Speaker 46:37
CD for that much coming back,
Speaker 1 46:39
people are getting pissed at streaming. Um, there's a Japanese version of the brown bunny soundtrack that he's selling for 160 Okay, that's Wow, an LP for 520 Jesus. It's expensive. I saw. Oh, here we go. There is a custom color print, several of them from Buffalo 66 that are almost 16, $1,600 each. And there's probably 10 of those, oh, that you can choose from. Let's see what else we have. There's, of course, the Jizz. Oh, yes, laugh. It is artwork. Oh, god, oh, it's just like pictures of people. There's a t shirt. Oh, maybe it's like political No, these look like stock photos. I don't fucking know, but it's like a T shirt with a picture of a dude wearing a tie. It's in black and white, and it just says fuck face on his head.
Unknown Speaker 47:59
What the fuck is this?
Unknown Speaker 48:03
He has a t shirt
Speaker 1 48:06
that's a smart, black, beautiful, which I'm like, That doesn't seem like it aligns with there's a picture of a person with an afro, and it says, white boy. Okay, so he's got some weird a picture of another dude, and it says cock grabber on his forehead. Oh, my God, there's a picture and it looks like George Washington or something. It's a and on his forehead area, it says another one of the many, many, many great white men,
Speaker 1 48:57
always a shirt with Kanye a fucking course, he does okay. So these are some weird political Oh, wow. And guess how much they are. Oh, the shirts like 120 each. They're each $666 Oh, my God,
Unknown Speaker 49:20
I cannot with this man.
Speaker 1 49:24
God, yeah, what a this man's too silly for for my brain to accept him as a real human being. I feel like he's trying to be a manic, a manic pixie dream boy. He's like a white supremacist Manic Pixie dreamboy. It's like, Don't you just love to say racial
Unknown Speaker 49:47
slurs in the rain.
Speaker 1 49:54
God, well, I'm sorry, everyone. Yeah. Up. Just know so you don't watch his shitty fucking movies or support any of his shits, or if you ever meet him, just continue to not know Him and hurt his feelings because he's a baby Man Boy, or embarrassed
Unknown Speaker 50:15
him in some other way, and
Speaker 1 50:17
tell him that he's short. I'm sure he's sensitive about that, yes. I mean, I don't know him. He could legitimately be 511 but a lot of dudes in dating apps and online, why about their height and say that they're closer to six foot. So just gonna lay that out there. There's a girl on Tiktok that I fucking love, and she asked guys how tall they are, and they tell her, and she's like, Oh, can I check and she has a fucking tape measure. I love her. I haven't seen her in a while, but also, she should do that to him. I wonder. I feel like he would deny any woman that was taller than him. If they wanted his sperm or an escort, he'd be like, Oh, no, I can't be seen with a taller woman. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 51:07
he couldn't do that.
Unknown Speaker 51:10
Man. What a what a character. Alyssa,
Speaker 1 51:16
thank you for listening to me talk about white supremacist manic pixie dream boy
Unknown Speaker 51:23
that was very, Oh, that's such a perfect way to describe him.
Unknown Speaker 51:29
He is, like, trying to be all clever
Speaker 1 51:30
artists and so complex. But also, well, I won't I was like, I don't want a sound bite of me saying things to be taken out of context, though, I guess I already have, but, and those people
Unknown Speaker 51:49
look stupid too. And
Unknown Speaker 51:51
I'm like, also, who's
Speaker 1 51:52
listening to our podcast to me like, I'm gonna take this sound bite and cancel it.
Unknown Speaker 51:59
Can't cancel us if we weren't even there,
Unknown Speaker 52:03
if we're not even famous,
Speaker 1 52:07
but yeah, maybe this guy can get canceled. That'd be kind of cool. Make sure no one buys his sperm and reproduces with him. Oh, no, maybe I'm becoming selective with breeding by saying that I don't think he should reproduce, I feel like, in some cases, that's okay. Like him, he wants a whole race. He will bring Manic Pixie Dream hate into the world, and that's the last thing we need right now.
Unknown Speaker 52:35
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 52:39
So, yeah, I hope he just like, spins off into space,
Unknown Speaker 52:43
yeah, and 63
Speaker 1 52:44
I mean, hopefully within, I don't know how many years, maybe his painter will stop working. Yeah, these ads for the like, for the carrier. Yeah, we need to, if you haven't seen these fat heads, it's called peroniz disease. And that's g calls it the bent Dick disease, because we get those ads all the time to add with just like, a bunch of bent carrots and, uh, just up to your doctor. Yeah, it's like a man on woman on a counter, like cutting a bank carrot or something. It's stupid. But anyway, fatheads stay healthy. Don't be like this guy. This guy is a very bad example of what a human being should be. So just don't do what he does
Unknown Speaker 53:35
and do it.
Speaker 1 53:36
And we'll try to have a wider topic next time, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 53:43
all right party on.