Welcome to our Holiday episode, whatever you celebrate - celebrate it in cringe with us this year!
Jamie has a special Christmas surprise - MINDFREAK STYLE! Then the ladies briefly share some holiday stories.
Holiday movie reviews! Alyssa gives us a run down of Holiday in Handcuffs and Jamie gives a rundown on Christmas in Mississippi.
Get some ideas for your weird Christmas nails to take to your work parties. Also...learn from other people's weird work holiday party confessions.
Wrap with with a PSA on the war on Christmas. Yeehaw and Happy Holidays Y'all!
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
The socials: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Unknown Speaker 0:00
So the other night, we went to dinner with a group of like 10 to 11 people. And we were taking a picture outside of the restaurant when we left and we had to get someone else to take a picture. So our friend was looking for someone. And he went up to ask this couple. But it turns out they're breaking up Yeah, so he just kind of like came back to the group and was just like, oh, and then it was just like, you know, of course, like, it's spread quickly through like our little group of people. And we're just like, oh,
Unknown Speaker 0:53
so can he tell when he walked up that something was wrong? Or were they like, hey, like, we're in the middle of something. And like, we're,
Unknown Speaker 1:01
so I told him kind of, like, awkwardly kind of standing near them. So I think what happened was, he just kind of like, went up and could kind of hear what they were talking about. And then was like, Oh, um, yeah. And then we asked someone else that walked by, and they were and they, well, you know, got due for the holiday spend that money on gifts. Um, but yeah, so we just took our picture. And then after we're done with our picture, the couple had like, went their separate separate ways. Yeah, I can't I just can't imagine like, doing something like that. And then someone just trying to be like, Hey, can you get a picture just like trying to come up? Oh,
Unknown Speaker 2:02
I was just gonna do the same thing you're doing.
Unknown Speaker 2:04
Welcome to nervous laughter Podcast. I'm Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 2:08
And I'm Alyssa. Starting out strong with some real uncomfortable shit. Yeah, I feel like I'm gonna like, think about that. Whenever I'm trying to go to sleep at night.
Unknown Speaker 2:20
Well, I definitely thought about it. Um, yeah, and we went Christmas shopping the other day, and just like, checked out Nordstroms Ooh, fancy. They had a fucking DJ. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 2:33
that's stupid.
Unknown Speaker 2:36
It was I was just like, just try not to laugh as we walked by.
Unknown Speaker 2:39
Did they look into it? Are they like?
Unknown Speaker 2:43
Um, he was kind of spinning. Yeah, yeah. He was like spinning and stuff and doing his thing. And I was like, I don't know how you do that. But Go Go for it. Like no one's here like kradic.
Unknown Speaker 2:59
Daytime DJ at this time of year when people are trying to get shit done like,
Unknown Speaker 3:04
door. Why would you do that? No. I just remembered that and how to throw it in there.
Unknown Speaker 3:16
Awful. Well, last night, we went to our friends and Cam they had an ugly sweater party. And it said on the invitation like six to nine, so I packed a couple drinks and I was like, oh, we'll be there like, three hours and we got there a little bit after six. So it was like, Oh, well, we won't be here that long. Well, then like nine o'clock rolls around. And I've drank all my drinks and still kind of going strong and like so nobody talked to Ed and Kim like, are we staying and they're like, oh, yeah, that's totally fine. So I keep drinking a bomb some drinks off of people just like random stuff. No. Like a mix of stuff going on in my body right now. And it's some point you know, we're like, oh my god. Let's all take pictures. Here's me and Ashley and ralien who Raylene doesn't drink me and Ashley are like shit face. And so we're trying to take pictures and we can't get a good one. And so, like oh, like Well Give the phone to GE like he'll take pictures. And he took a couple and showed him to us and we're like these fucking suck. I was like, he is a better pictures. One thing that he and I have joked about before, is like he likes to whenever there's a picture situation, he's like, Oh, no, you got to do it like this and blah blah. He dated a photographer does Don't be like you had sex with a photographer just like most of us have about it. So last night, I was so sloshed now it's like Ashley. It's cuz he's had his painter inside of a photographer thinks he knows all this stuff about photography. It's just like, are you upset about it? I'm like, No, it's a funny
Unknown Speaker 5:32
apparently, I just said Peter a lot. And I have that. And it just didn't feel appropriate because in Kim's house looks like it is straight out of a magazine. And I'm just drunk trash, screaming about painters and I kept kicking people in the butt. Raeleen in the bus, so we need it I was wearing wedges too. And I didn't break my ankles. Like I have no fucking idea how I didn't.
Unknown Speaker 6:10
It's just like,
Unknown Speaker 6:12
yeah, just walk out and kick them in the
Unknown Speaker 6:16
butt. Just really random. Of all the things that you could do to people at a Christmas party.
Unknown Speaker 6:22
Do I woke up this morning? And I was like, everyone that was there hates me. Like, I don't I don't think that they do. But we did have this conversation that came up because I was all drunk and like started talking about how like the end of the world's probably soon and bear. Yeah, talking about the apocalypse and how I'm like trying to get us into food and like supplies. stuff. And then you trade. I have I don't plan down. I can tell you. So I have this like survival situation that I'm not even going to get into because nobody's gonna agree. And nobody did. We told and then finally, we'll did Ashley's husband. And he's the only one that agreed with me on it. And everybody else thought we were awful people. So thank you. Well, but I'm not. I'm not alone. Someone else agreed and I have a really strong survival instinct.
Unknown Speaker 7:33
Good. I try to be scared
Unknown Speaker 7:39
the apocalypse happens. I knock on your door. I'm like, I'm gonna have to rose to meet you. I'm sorry, Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 7:46
I have a gun.
Unknown Speaker 7:48
Oh, yeah. Okay, why didn't you?
Unknown Speaker 8:00
Do you have any did you do have any other drunk escapades?
Unknown Speaker 8:07
Pretty much it Yeah, I was just really embarrassing. really embarrassed myself. This is why I don't heavily drink often because I'm, I get obnoxious as fuck and I think I'm hilarious.
Unknown Speaker 8:23
Yeah, I just do. weird shit. That seems fine to me, but not to other people. At one at one, it wasn't like a holiday party. But it was just like a summer office party. And we were had like a it was a small office and we went on like a I guess you call it a booze cruise. We had like a little boat that we went out on for a few hours and drank a lot. And I there was the table it was dirty. Because you know people made food and spilled alcohol all over it. So I had like a swim jacket thing on so I may have my swimsuit on underneath. It's not like I was like doing a striptease or anything. So I just like I just like took it off and just wipe down the table with it. And everybody was like, why are you doing that? And like everyone like they still kind of talk about it. Sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah, you took off your jacket and cleaned the tables. Like I thought it was being nice. Like it was from the lake and then there was
Unknown Speaker 9:32
give it a water good anyway.
Unknown Speaker 9:34
But I don't know. I guess that was kind of a weird thing to do. I think that's what might be the weirdest thing I've done at a party. But I also have a couple of little Christmas stories from when I was growing up that were kind of it's kind of cringe Um, so there was one Christmas where we like, it was one of the Christmases where we can like afford gifts and stuff. And so we just wrapped up stuff in the house and like, gave it to each other. And then yeah, I think, I don't know if this was the same Christmas or a different one, but my teacher was like, let's all go around the room and say what we got for Christmas. And I was like, You mother fucking bitch. Yeah, like Yeah. And so whenever I was in the back of the room last in the class, I like got to me, and then I was like, Oh, we didn't get we didn't get anything for Christmas this year. And then this Cheka just like turns around. She's like, that's so sad. Like, a fucking
Unknown Speaker 11:02
bitch teacher never did that again.
Unknown Speaker 11:06
That was the same teacher that was like, Let's go around the room and say what church we go to. And then like, I was the only kid that didn't go to church and so I was just like, a Satanist kid that doesn't get anything for Christmas. Like.
Unknown Speaker 11:21
Like, I'm just gonna think of questions that target Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 11:24
Yeah, dude. Like, I can hate that teacher. I think she's still teaching, but
Unknown Speaker 11:31
she should. Probably old maybe she'll die soon.
Unknown Speaker 11:35
Maybe Yeah, I found out through a source that her husband is on was found on Grindr. So who knows?
Unknown Speaker 11:52
See in Ted Haggard it was all. Yeah, thank you talk about how they're gay sex is from the devil.
Unknown Speaker 12:07
And then by math together and Broadway.
Unknown Speaker 12:12
The lamest thing you could possibly do is myth. The Myth of school?
Unknown Speaker 12:19
Um, yeah, that's all I have for myself.
Unknown Speaker 12:24
The only thing I could really think of, was when I figured out that Santa wasn't real. Hmm. Um, I was probably like, seven or eight. And I don't know. What led me to ask my dad like, I don't remember if I found like evidence or something. But I asked him, and he was like, No, it's, uh, it's not real. You know, spoiler alert. Hopefully, you're not a child listening to this. But he was like, yeah, it's not real. And I was like, why would you say that? Like, why would you I was like, really upset. And then I was like, Well, what about the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy? And he's like, yeah, so made up. And then I was like, really fucking upset. And then my mom got mad at him for telling me and he was like, she asked, Why would I lie again? So yeah,
Unknown Speaker 13:33
how old were you?
Unknown Speaker 13:34
I was probably seven or eight. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 13:39
yeah, I don't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That happened.
Unknown Speaker 13:43
I still do think though, but like, the whole Santa thing is kind of fucked up.
Unknown Speaker 13:49
Yeah, I do, too. I just, I don't know. I don't I don't get it or like it. Um, my grandma. It's weird because she's like, she's really into it and like crowns stuff. And I remember she visited visited us one year. And we went and saw all the Polar Express when theaters. I mean, I was in like, high school, like, maybe about to graduate high school. I don't know. But um, whenever we got to leave, I noticed she was crying. And I was just like, Oh my God.
Unknown Speaker 14:26
The Spirit of Christmas. Oh, well. Yeah. Relatives like being emotional about Christmas. I'm just like, oh,
Unknown Speaker 14:39
yeah,
Unknown Speaker 14:40
don't comfortable. Like, I get it. It's like a nice family time theoretically but
Unknown Speaker 14:52
in practice and I'm So something that I kind of I mean, I didn't super get into it, I was just trying to, to Google Christmas related things to it and just got a little surprised with some of the stuff I found. Um so, for Christmas, I wanted to surprise you with a little bit of a Criss Angel Christmas ready?
Unknown Speaker 15:32
Mind ready? Um,
Unknown Speaker 15:36
so there was a lot of like, montage is on YouTube of like, just pictures of Criss angels and just girls being like, Oh my God, he's so hot and it's to like Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You so there's a lot of those and then I also found this Criss Angel the mike the mind freak Christmas Carol by Jasmine may with that's also the name of her YouTube channel. These lyrics belong to her credit given um, so this is to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Unknown Speaker 16:25
Okay, I need to stop laughing
Unknown Speaker 16:28
Oh no, you're fine. I was I'm making room so I can get him. Mee Mee Mee Mee Oh, I'm not gonna sing it.
Unknown Speaker 16:38
It'll just add a whole other layer.
Unknown Speaker 16:42
Um, all right. You know who Dini Riccardi, fuck, I know I pronounced that wrong. I looked it up before. Whatever. Okay, you know who Dini Riccardi, David, Blaine and D Copperfield. Then there's Penn and Teller, and the great Johnny Thompson. But do you recall the most famous illusionists of all? Criss Angel the mind free. special way of showing the art of magic to the public a free day. Other magicians used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Christopher play in any magic games. Then one starry Vegas night, Lance Burton came to say Christopher with your talent so bright. Won't you open my show tonight? to Now the pub like loved him. As they shouted out with glee. Chris angels are mind free. He you'll go down in his story. And then it says Mary Chris, Miss smelt. That was really great. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, I hope. Hope you enjoyed that. I did. Um, I was hoping to find some like Christmas related stunts or something that he did, but unfortunately, not,
Unknown Speaker 18:30
but was great.
Unknown Speaker 18:33
I was hoping that this song wouldn't be enough. So thank you to um, Jasmine may with for your incredible lyric talents.
Unknown Speaker 18:46
Thanks, Jasmine. So another thing that we were kind of talking about when we were preparing for this episode was Hallmark Christmas movies. Yeah. So I found a couple plot lines that I thought were funny. There's one called a royal Christmas. She, a simple girl discovers her boyfriend secretly a prince all she goes home or she goes to his home country to try to win over his family over the holidays. And then we have this one that I wanted to watch heavenly Christmas. This serves Kristin Davis who is Charlotte from Sex in the City. She's a workaholic whose untimely death leads to her recruitment as a Christmas angel. I'm beginning to see that if anything. Oh wait, scratch that. apart. That's just the person writing the articles commentary. So I went to try to watch a heavenly Christmas, and I couldn't find it streaming on anything I have and I was gonna have to pay $8 And I was like, no.
Unknown Speaker 20:15
Whoa, that must be good movie then. Yeah. So I
Unknown Speaker 20:19
guess the like traditional Hallmark movies are behind a paywall. I wasn't able to watch any. Well, I didn't want to pay. So I went to Hulu because they're good about having like, compilations of whatever holiday it is. And I found a movie from 2007 called a holiday in handcuffs. It stars Melissa Joan Hart. The premise is that she kidnaps a guy and takes him to her family Christmas posing as her boyfriend,
Unknown Speaker 20:58
and he's secretly a prince.
Unknown Speaker 21:01
She's an angel. So I wrote a little, some notes, some highlights. So Melissa, Joan Hart, she's probably like an early 20s. She's an artist. Oh, she just doesn't fit into like her parents mold. Like she. Yeah, she is she works at a restaurant like her siblings are like in law school and shit like that. So her mom's like pressuring her to grow up and like get an adult job. So the movie starts out there talking on the phone. The mom's like, you know, Christmas cocktails are at six o'clock sharp. And are you bringing Nick and blah, blah, blah. And she has bleach in her hair while she's on the phone and she sets a towel over her alarm for like taking the bleach out. Oh, it like fucks up her hair. And then her mom's like, are you gonna wear this pink sweater? I got you like hopefully it fits. You're getting a little hippie and I'm just like, damn, this mom is a fucking bitch. So then it goes to the restaurant that she works at and she has a good friend that works there too. And the guy that has the restaurant, he's a dick. Or, for some reason he has his grandfather's shotgun on display. Just like a wooden case like his restaurant decor. I don't know. Her friend in the movie, they show this gun. And she's like, he wouldn't keep it out if he knew how close I was to killing him every day. Yeah. So let's see. So Nick, Melissa, Joan Hart's boyfriend comes to the restaurant because they're going to meet there and leave for her family's cabin. And he breaks up with her right before they're supposed to leave.
Unknown Speaker 23:16
And someone comes along and ask them if they can take a picture
Unknown Speaker 23:31
this picture me and all my friends are having a great time. So one of the reasons that he says her breaking up, he says we haven't even had sex yet. Okay. Yeah. So they, they break up and she's still working and like trying to figure out what to do. And she takes a Sunday to this table and the moms on the phone and the dads not paying attention and there's this little kid and he said I wanted Hot Fudge you chowder head. So she can break down and is freaking out. And then the sky. I think his name is David walks in. She tried to take his order, but she's just like in another place because she's worried about all this shit. And then he gets up to go to the bathroom. And she sees the shotgun and has an idea. Okay, so she takes a shotgun and she's like, you're coming with me? And he's like, No, I'm not like I have this ring. I'm going to propose to my girlfriend's like, I'm not going with you. And so she like talks the shotgun.
Unknown Speaker 24:56
So
Unknown Speaker 24:58
she walks them out to her car and he slips on ice in the stupidest way that falls flat on his back and he's unresponsive. Oh, and this is all 12 minutes into the movie all day. Wow, okay, okay then there's this a whole other thing about her like, bombing this interview that I didn't include so they just like bam bam bam stuffs happening. Let's just sucks. Yeah, everything's going bad for her. So instead of like taking him to a hospital or whatever she just like puts him in her car and like ties up his hands and has like a scarf has a blindfold, and just starts driving his cabin. All right, and he wakes up and he's like, what's going on? And then she's like, you're gonna fuckin do what I say. Or like, I'm gonna shoot you. Oh, and then she's like, fuckin with the gun. And she accidentally shoots it and it shoots like right near his dick. So then he's scared. He's gonna comply. So she goes into the house before he does. And she tells her parents like, hey, he does this like thing that he thinks is really funny. Where he says, Oh, she can't she kidnapped me and brought me here against my will like, just roll with it. It's just like this joke that he does.
Unknown Speaker 26:29
Okay, cool. So she's basically like Jeffrey Dahmer.
Unknown Speaker 26:33
Yeah. So Nick goes in there. Well, they're calling him Nick. Because that's the boyfriend's name. She's just using this guy. instead. They have this thing called key master and a Google this. And I guess it's not a real thing. But there's a person that's in charge of taking everyone's keys and self. It's just they're like, Yeah, we do key master every year. So I guess they had to, like, make that up to like, patch up some potential potholes, you know, so he couldn't like steal car keys and like run away or color holiday help. So eventually, her grandma comes to the cabin and her siblings. And her grandma reminded me kind of of what you've told me that your grandma's like because she's just like straight up sexualizing this boy you kick them in the butt sorry, everyone. Tears on the brain. Oh, so then the Nick will just call him that. He decides that he's going to play into the charade. That way, whenever he gets free, or they find out that they're not really together, then she'll really be humiliated. Oh, okay. So he starts to try to like be a really good boyfriend and like really kind and whatever. Um, and they're just like talking about how Melissa Joan Hart is a loser pretty much throughout the whole thing. And at one point, her mom says, yeah, when she was pretty much Trudy in the movie. Yeah, when Trudy was little we paid this little boy down the street to be her friend. But he decided to give us our money back. So mucked
Unknown Speaker 28:53
up. So Trudy Treme, like a bitch.
Unknown Speaker 28:57
Wait, what? It's a Trudy sounds like a bitch. By treaty is Melissa Joan Hart. She's the main character.
Unknown Speaker 29:04
Oh, I thought that was her mom's name. Okay. Okay.
Unknown Speaker 29:09
I don't know what the mom's name is. But I'm
Unknown Speaker 29:13
probably like, Bitch, yeah. Roll or something that she's sounding? What's the Gosling lady's name? Okay, yeah. Name for Kate.
Unknown Speaker 29:30
So see, treaty's brother ends up like secretly keeping his cell phone and Nick sees it and decides he's gonna like take the cell phone and call his girlfriend. So he does. And he's like, Hey, like, I don't really know where I am. But like, you need to send the cops out here like I've been kidnapped. And see, then the light goes on and you can tell They're like kind of starting to form a romance Trudy and Nick Of course. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 30:06
So that's the Stockholm Syndrome. I was. It's just a whole movie based on stalking syndrome. And for some reason, a bitchy mom, Kate. It's like, oh, yeah, we're gonna write letters to say, even though they're all fucking adults,
Unknown Speaker 30:25
how God. And one of the things that Melissa Jo or Trudy writes on her wish list to Santa, one of the things is to stop disappointing my parents.
Unknown Speaker 30:40
That's depressing.
Unknown Speaker 30:42
Yeah. Next are like, a car, a pasta maker, versus like to not be a disappointment.
Unknown Speaker 30:52
Does Nick read it? Read her wish? And yeah,
Unknown Speaker 30:55
yeah, he's like, let's, let's read the ordered lists. And then they like, have a moment. And he's like, you're a good person, blah, blah, blah. See? Oh, and then like, everybody just starts bucking pouncing on Trudi, whenever they're doing presents. And the dad's just like, I got you a briefcase, because I want you to be a businesswoman, like not an artist. And everybody just starts like going in honor. And Nick decides that he's going to fake proposed to her because he still has their ring that he was getting into his actual girlfriend. And, you know, like, they're getting closer to have this family dinner. And everybody starts talking about, like, their failures and things that are going wrong. Like, the parents kind of are saying like, Oh, we're having problems in our marriage. And then the sister is like, Oh, I dropped out of law school and use my tuition money to open a Pilates studio. And so it's kind of coming out that everybody like, isn't who they seem, you know? Yeah. And then the police busted with guns. They've finally found Nick that they've been searching for. And the grandma like, holds a gun on the cops the same. Melissa Joan Hart head, they didn't just shoot her. I was thinking that, like, Yeah, real life, suicide by cop. Yeah. Then they all go to jail. In jail, they decide that they're going to let him out. Nick doesn't press charges. And then it shows like a couple months later. It's on Valentine's Day and Trudy opens the paper and sees a wedding announcement for him and his fiancee. And she says, I can't believe I found I had feelings for a guy kidnapped. What did I think was gonna happen? Oh, you Yeah. Then she decides. She doesn't decide she gets a call. And this group wants to like feature her in this art gallery. So her brother that she's still been close to. Oh, yeah. So the brother has come out as gay during all this. And he introduces tradie to his boyfriend and the boyfriend. Okay, so remember when Justin Bieber was a kid, like when they first discovered him? Like what his hair looked like? Yeah. So I wrote that the boyfriend looks like an adult baby Justin Bieber. He looks like an adult but he looks like what just in baby beaver look like when he was baby? It's, he was creepy.
Unknown Speaker 34:17
Okay, weird.
Unknown Speaker 34:20
But that was an important detail, but it was. And then the brothers like, oh, like I brought the whole family to like we're all gonna make amends and stuff. So they have this like heartwarming conversation true to your mom. And then someone has bought one of Trudy's like big paintings. So they're all like talking about that they're really happy when she's walking to her car, and she gets fucking kidnapped.
Unknown Speaker 34:53
Isn't by the guy. She
Unknown Speaker 35:00
So he kidnaps her and takes her to this fancy room that has all these lights strung up. That's all romantic and she's like, what's going on? I thought you got married today and his like, no, Trudy, you know, I realized that all these material things like I don't need them. Oh, yeah, I forgot to add. He's like a rich businessman, type of guy, of course. Yeah, so he's like, I don't care about material things. Like, I just want you. And then he has this thing with a sheet over it. It takes the sheet off, and he's the one that bought the painting. Oh, and then, you know, he professes his love to her and then they kiss and that's the end of the of holiday in handcuffs.
Unknown Speaker 35:51
That's a really unhealthy way to start a relationship.
Unknown Speaker 35:56
Yeah, a lot of kidnapping a lot of gunpoint.
Unknown Speaker 36:01
Just like, did they didn't spend like any time together, but after she kidnapped him, right?
Unknown Speaker 36:10
No, I mean, they just like, drove to this cabin. And then were with her family the whole time. Yeah. So I didn't talk for like, three months.
Unknown Speaker 36:20
And then he's like, I'm in love with you marry me?
Unknown Speaker 36:23
Yeah. Yeah, that was a good find. Oh, and while I was watching holiday in handcuffs, there was a knock at the door. And I got kidnapped. And it was this guy. I didn't open the door. I just like talk through the door. And he was like, Oh, I heard that somebody works on BMWs here, like, can I talk to them? Or can I get their card? And I was like, oh, yeah, just go around to the back and whatever, like, called G and he didn't answer. And I was like, Oh, crap. And so I was just wearing pajamas. So I like put a robe on over the pajamas and then ran outside to tell him that somebody was gonna come talk to him. And I just looked so disheveled. My hair was insane. And yeah, so that happened, like in the middle of holiday in handcuffs. So that was embarrassing. Were
Unknown Speaker 37:33
you seen by anybody? Yes. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 37:36
Yeah, yeah. The, the guy that knocked on the door, he ended up having a son with him. So I saw me looking all crazy. And I don't know why I didn't just give them a business card. That would have been easier.
Unknown Speaker 37:52
Oh, well, you you you made it a whole experience for them.
Unknown Speaker 37:56
Yeah, I really did. Like, yes, trashy lady running around a bathroom.
Unknown Speaker 38:03
No decency these days?
Unknown Speaker 38:06
Yeah. So I was my holiday mean cuffs experience.
Unknown Speaker 38:14
I had watched so I was able to find a Hallmark movie. Um, did you pay $8 for it? No, actually, it was on Amazon Prime. Just how you know it's really bad. Yeah, didn't even have that additional fee. So I don't really have like much. On this movie. I'll just give you like a quick like synapses love it. So girl is super busy. business lady photographer. She goes all around the world to do photography and stuff. And then she goes back home to visit Mississippi for Christmas. Oh, which hashtag relatable.
Unknown Speaker 38:58
Is this a movie about you?
Unknown Speaker 38:59
Maybe. So she goes back to Mississippi. And they're having like a light show festival thing at Jones Park. Which it's really funny because I think that they tried to make the park seem bigger than it was, like bigger than it was. And I'm pretty sure they like made up some shit about it too. Because they were like, of course, they kind of like brought Katrina in it. And they were like, we would always do this light festival. And then the hurricane hit five years ago. And it's like, the first time they're doing the light since then. And I was talking to Brandon. I was like, I don't really remember there being anything like that over there before Katrina. And he was like, yeah, no, I think there was just a few buildings like I'd have to use to go there for work. See work for some restaurants and pick up some like seafood and stuff because like the harbor was right there. Um, so yeah, they made a bunch of shit. And they're like, it's gonna take three to five weeks to set everything up. And me and Brandon were just laughing because we're like, they're that big. But, um, so anyway, she goes to help out with this festival. And who else is running it, but her ex boyfriend? Oh, shit. And so they like, she went off to college, and then he like, took a year off and then decided he didn't want to go to college. So that's when they like, separated.
Unknown Speaker 40:32
I'm just a rebel. College. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 40:36
Um, but, uh, well, so he, well, he moved to Nashville and became like a bartender and then moved back to Mississippi whenever he can to take care of his nephew because his brother went to war. But it's just funny because everyone's like, he put his whole life on hold, and this and that. And it doesn't sound like he was doing shit in Nashville. Because he was talking to her. He's like, Yeah, I did a few open mics, but I was really bad at music, and just like, hanging out, up there. But, um, so she there's this kind of like a con, like, everyone's like, Oh, you guys should totally date and she's like, I'm not gonna date him again. I'm not gonna open that door. I'm like, but she kind of likes hanging out with his little nephew. Because like, he's helping her with stuff at like a buffet, prepare for the light show. And, like, invites her over for like mac and cheese dinner and all kinds of dumb shit. And of course, like they get together at the end of it, and were really
Unknown Speaker 41:57
surprised. And then
Unknown Speaker 41:59
spoiler alert, they fast forward to the next year where they're setting up the Late Show, and he proposes to work.
Unknown Speaker 42:06
Oh, my god.
Unknown Speaker 42:09
Um, but yeah, there was really nothing notable about this movie at all. It was very boring. Um, I mean, just some of the stuff I wrote through it, because I was like, trying to, I was like, okay, they got to say something that's just like, dumb and cringy or just stupid. But I mean, there wasn't like anything at all, like, just an example of like, how bad it was. So like, they went on a date. And then he went to drop her off at the door. And and then she says, I had a good time. And then he said, Mind if I get that in writing? Why that was supposed to be like, funny. Okay. And, and then I wrote, this movie reminded me that unfunny bland people exist on the world. And yeah, it was, it was kind of weird. It was almost just kind of like an ad for like Gulfport, and Island View, Casino and Resort and Gulfport, because, like, they would go there a lot. And I don't know, like, everything had like Gulfport stamp all over it. So I'm like, Oh, I wonder if the smaller towns kind of like, pay, you know, to have their city kind of like, featured in a film. Um, but yeah, it was just made me thankful for having a personality. Yeah. And like, all of my friends are, like, awesome and funny. And they're not just like,
Unknown Speaker 43:50
can I get that in writing? He? Lol.
Unknown Speaker 43:55
Yeah. And then. And then I also wrote, I've rolled my eyes so much during this movie. Oh, there was one thing that was kind of dumb. So they were on their date. And he like, got the key to like this little pharmacy thing that has a shake bar or whatever, and ice cream. And so anyway, he turned on the jukebox, so they can dance. And he's like, Oh, do you want a dance? And she's like, Yeah, but there's tables in the way. And so like, he moves a table, he pushes the table out of the way. And she's like, he's like, how about now he's, she's like, oh, there's still another one in the way and then he pushes that table out of the way and they basically and then they basically just like Stan, where they were slow dancing and like don't even utilize the space that was made. So I don't it's just everything in this movie. It's like it just doesn't fit together and it's weird. Like, it's like they had a different writer for every single scene or something like it was just not good. Like. Yeah, it just would not recommend.
Unknown Speaker 45:16
Sounds like the Mississippi tourism board needs to do a better job on their movies.
Unknown Speaker 45:23
Well, I mean, there's not really anything in Mississippi though. Can you blame them? The movie turned out so. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. Yeah, I was just really bad. And then like, it was funny because like, the movie builds up to like a light show at the end. So like, it's just kind of has like lights that you like walk through and have lights set up. And then there's like four or five, or like five Christmas trees. Or not like regular Christmas trees. They're just like made of lights. So it's just like these tubes that go down in a tree shape. And then they just have different music play, and then they light the trees up to the music. And that's it.
Unknown Speaker 46:13
And it's gone. Three to five weeks to set up. Yep.
Unknown Speaker 46:19
So yeah, even like the build up what they built up to just really sucked. It just
Unknown Speaker 46:25
so out of five Christmas trees. How many Christmas trees would you give this movie?
Unknown Speaker 46:31
None. Oh, and chop them all down?
Unknown Speaker 46:36
Like a forest fire?
Unknown Speaker 46:38
It Yeah. Like I had it on like Brandon was out here. Just doing stuff on his computer. I was like, cools, I'll just turn it on. And because he's not paying attention. And then yeah, we got to like halfway through. He's like, can we please just turn this off? Because it's just that bad. And so I'd finished it last, Leslie. Yeah, very, one of the most unknowable and remarkable things I've ever seen. And I can't get over just how bland it is. But something that was not bland was some holiday meals. i Oh, um, so I remember, we're talking about meals and another episode and it's remind, and we had talked about like a Christmas elf shoe curl nail. It was actually a toenail. We posted it on the Instagram, we'll post it again. Um, but that made me want to look for some other Christmas nails. The ones I found were just very like fashioning. Um, so one of them. It's called tree tips. So it's like they took they clipped off little parts of the tree. And it kind of looks like grass, and they like glued it onto their nails.
Unknown Speaker 48:03
Oh, I don't like that at all. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 48:08
It's really weird. I've seen people do it with for two. They call it Grinch nails, but I didn't do all that up for today. And then there's these ones for weeks, Philly's nail v dA. And it is like Christmas lights. Just kind of wrapped around the nails.
Unknown Speaker 48:31
What that's not even like and
Unknown Speaker 48:35
seems totally not practical. You're really
Unknown Speaker 48:38
not gonna be able to wipe your butt with. You'll get electrocuted in the butt. And in the painter.
Unknown Speaker 48:46
Don't hold your finger with that. And then this one is called Rapper's Delight. And it is like they just wrapped up the tips of the fingers. But it's different poop
Unknown Speaker 49:02
all night easily. Yeah, um,
Unknown Speaker 49:04
there's lots of ribbon hanging off of them, too. I'll post pictures of them on the Instagram. But yeah, it's like a little bit of snowman wrapper and Christmas tree wrapper. And it's just straight up on the fucking tip of the nail. Um,
Unknown Speaker 49:22
I feel like these aren't very creative. They're just kind of throwing some random Christmas shit. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 49:29
yeah. Um No, I agree. And this is from bustle, which is like a fashion thing, I guess are in their fashion segment. So maybe this is just too high fashion for me to understand. Um, and then they also wrote an article called 13 totally impractical holiday nails that will make you wonder how these people use the bathroom.
Unknown Speaker 49:57
Oh, we want to know about
Unknown Speaker 50:00
A lot of other designs like are vague, like basic Mish, mish basic brush shit that, like, whatever, they're just like super pointy nails. But I thought one, there was one recurring design that would show up across the nails. It's like a spiral. Like, peppermint candy King kind of thing.
Unknown Speaker 50:26
Interesting.
Unknown Speaker 50:28
So it's like they gave you a really long nail and then they literally, I mean, obviously this isn't how they do it. But it's like they took a really long nail and then they just twisted it a couple times. So it's like a corkscrew, and it's painted like a peppermint um, that just kind of terrifies me I just just don't know what to do with that. Yeah, so
Unknown Speaker 50:54
is it like a flat nail and they painted it to look that way or is the actual nail they put on twist?
Unknown Speaker 51:03
I have no idea. Yeah, I don't know if they do it like beforehand and put it on but like the way my brain imagines how they do it is like they have like a something that's like a warm material that's like that red and white and then they just kind of stick it on and twist it before it tries. Oh, I have no fucking I should have researched this more Goddamnit chainmail I failed the the audio
Unknown Speaker 51:34
Zero out of five Christmas trees.
Unknown Speaker 51:38
Zero out of five. Nails spirals. Nails. Oh poop under him. Um something else that I pulled up while looking disburse some Christmas stuff was 40 office Christmas party confessions that will make you cringe. This is by cadboro core core bug corbeau.co.uk Corbeau. Did anybody Warburg Coburg. Kibler. Um, it's a UK thing. So let's see. Um, here's just a handful that I thought were kind of notable. So we can have a lever like this. I'm pretty sure I gave my coworkers food poisoning. But let someone else take the blame. My worst fear. Yeah. And that's why you always bring your pasta salad on nice. Yeah, we're buying new cars. Yeah. I jumped up onto my friend's back, but we fell over and she broke her arm
Unknown Speaker 52:57
was a younger sister. Yeah. Like I had a concussion.
Unknown Speaker 53:03
Getting hurt in front of people is just really embarrassing to me.
Unknown Speaker 53:06
Especially if you're like really are hurt you know?
Unknown Speaker 53:11
It's okay Don't cry and then that's another thing when you're just doing dumb shit while you're drunk. It sounds like these people were like kicking
Unknown Speaker 53:25
people in the butt so thankful it didn't break an ankle I don't know how
Unknown Speaker 53:33
dude yeah and wedges like you got you got you got skill right do your your dancer
Unknown Speaker 53:41
rocket never told you
Unknown Speaker 53:45
that's so funny cuz I was just listening to a podcast when they were talking about this chick lying about being a rocket that was
Unknown Speaker 53:51
about me
Unknown Speaker 53:55
um, so this next one I'm pretty okay, so this was just kind of weird and funny because I was reading about it as a woman so I took it as the two people in this story were women. Oh, so take it from like that context. The queues were too long for the toilet so I went outside to we behind a wall bumped into my boss doing the same exact thing. So like as a that might not be so bad as like a guy's but like, I just thought I was I was like, like, oh, fuck the girls lines always long. So it's like go outside pop a squat and then like your boss is sitting right next to you like Oh, hey. She's also popping a squat.
Unknown Speaker 54:40
I have to tell you somewhere that I've popped a squat in public. Oh, the CHEWIES that we ate it when I met Carrie. Or peed outside behind that shoe. Are there cameras back there? Maybe I should We went there. The only time I went to ACO was like in 2012. And we went to eat dinner there, my friend and I and we had been drinking all day. And my sister came and picked us up. And we were driving out of the parking lot, and we just got stuck. And we were stuck there for like, 30 minutes, probably. And by that time the restaurant was closed, so just peed in a bush behind CHEWIES. Anwar. There you go. No, Mr. Barton Springs. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 55:41
Let's see, that was my lot. Or, you know, that was kind of my logic when I pooped in the pool. It open I think the only time I really popped a squat in public was I was going to a concert. It was a actually, I believe it was corn.
Unknown Speaker 56:04
Oh, you've seen corn.
Unknown Speaker 56:07
Um, and we got there early because like, we were super excited. Like, of course, my mom will have scorn tears to like, hang like at the front of the line. Um, but for some, so they had staff like inside, you know, like doing work and stuff. But they wouldn't let anyone into like, use the bathroom. And so I went to the car. And my mom we put up like, towels and blankets that we had and then I just peed in the cup in the backseat. And then we dumped it out in the parking lot. And the gag See,
Unknown Speaker 56:42
I would be so scared. I would spill the pee.
Unknown Speaker 56:45
I will i was i but luckily I didn't go and then. Yeah, just dumped it out in the parking lot and went back and got in line. And on that note, I need to pee really quick. Okay. Okay. So we are recording because we did because I failed to properly record the second half of this. So another Christmas office office confession. Everyone was smoking shisha, shisha, which for some reason I thought was cannabis never done drugs before. I'm trying to be cool. I spent the evening talking about munchies and how I could feel it working on me. My co workers told me the next day
Unknown Speaker 57:33
I liked it. It was the next day.
Unknown Speaker 57:36
Like just let them have it. Um fell asleep on the toilet and woke up and everyone was gone. I was locked in the bar. Tried to be really cool and do that pulling the tablecloth from beneath the glass trick. Oh, we failed smashed everything red wine everywhere.
Unknown Speaker 57:57
Whatever you're trying to get about your swim cover up. That's what I imagined you doing is like something like that. Break everything on the table. No,
Unknown Speaker 58:08
nothing that bad. Um, let's see. I wasn't drinking but want to prove I could still have fun. So when I was dared to strip off and run around the building, I obliged and they locked me outside for an hour.
Unknown Speaker 58:26
It is there like this nerd that doesn't drink.
Unknown Speaker 58:30
Get naked to shoot them. There. Notice what you get for not drinking alcohol.
Unknown Speaker 58:38
Alcohol only makes you do cool things like say pain or 9000 times kick everyone in the bud. Oh, and I also like tussled Raelians hair, like put both hands in and like
Unknown Speaker 58:54
in then you kicked her in the butt.
Unknown Speaker 58:55
Yeah. I told her she had a 60 year I remember. She like changed her earring. Were you like I was being such a goddamn creep I probably just should have done that. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 59:14
Um propose to my girlfriend in front of everyone she said no.
Unknown Speaker 59:20
proposals in public settings like yeah,
Unknown Speaker 59:25
settings or like I don't understand the whole like proposals during like Christmas and stuff thing. It's very popular movie plot is sorry to drop this on, on you listeners, but it's a very serious topic and we need to spread the word about the war on Christmas. Trying to take Christ away from us. So, um, according so in kind of my research, it seems Like this was like, just a thing that would happen throughout history forever, but probably on a more serious note than it is today. Um, but as the war on Christmas as we know it today in America, the sentiment, so this is from the daily record, the sentiment is wildly popular among conservatives and gain traction after Fox News host Bill O'Reilly promoted a 2005 book by John Gibson that allege that liberals were kicking Christianity at a Christmas, like let's like kick people's butts at parties. Yes, exactly like that. The idea is also concerning to some parents who believe schools should wish students a merry christmas instead of Happy Holidays. So some stats that this daily record article has, this was published just this month. So today, 35 of Americans 65 and older say there's a war on Christmas alongside 49% of Americans 45 to 64. In 2013, it was only 26% of voters 45 and over, um, so that has somehow increased over the years. I think one important one important thing to talk about is the Starbucks controversies over their cups. Or this. Yeah, so in 2015 and this was an article written by box they kind of just covered the whole like history of the controversies and stuff. Well, just the Starbucks holiday cups. I'm
Unknown Speaker 1:01:53
by controversies you mean made up bullshit by people that have nothing better to do?
Unknown Speaker 1:01:57
Yeah, no, exactly. Like Mr. Joshua for us didn't forreston I don't care how to pronounce his last name. Fuck him. Um, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:09
Not, not like my husband did to the photographer with his Peter. But
Unknown Speaker 1:02:19
he's never gonna learn about photography now. But he is a conservative Christian Internet Evangelist, who launched a counter war on Starbucks striking because they had a minimalist cup that year, it was just it was just a red cup. And the name of the the title of his viral video, and it has some some words that are in all caps, so I'm going to try to do my best to pronunciate it. Um, Starbucks removed Christmas, from their cups because they hate Jesus. So I print them and they hate it. He outlined his complaint. Do you realize that Starbucks wanted to take Christ and Christmas off of their brand new cops? Maps one either just plain red. Or just say moss if you took Christ down just moss? What is this Taco Bell? No, it's Star. We live in moss over here.
Unknown Speaker 1:03:34
You can't live moss without practice. Jamie? I really hope you Oh, no one
Unknown Speaker 1:03:40
no one told me this. Oh, um, in fact, do you realize Starbucks isn't allowed to say Merry Christmas to our customers. Um, so he pulled a plank, a plank, a prank? Like pull the plank up in Starbucks. Um, so he pulled a prank and the prank was telling them that his name was merry Christmas. So they'd have to write it on the cup and say Merry Christmas when they hand
Unknown Speaker 1:04:20
edge lord over here rebellion paying for a drink from a big corporation and giving them money like they want you to do and then
Unknown Speaker 1:04:28
encouraging everyone else to do the
Unknown Speaker 1:04:30
same thing. Really need to buy Starbucks.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:35
Um, and then, so that was in 2015. And then a couple years later in 2017, and the cup that was featured had two arms holding hands, and it wasn't clear what the genders were.
Unknown Speaker 1:04:51
I needed to know genders at all times. Everything I encounter,
Unknown Speaker 1:04:55
and so BuzzFeed decided to buzzin like they do Be like the hands are definitely gay Right? Um, that didn't get much Christian and so then they were like Holy Spirit activists
Unknown Speaker 1:05:17
I forgot to tell you that on Thanksgiving I put on a family feud just to like have something on the TV and that episode came on really? Oh my god that bitches from Wilson Phillips that bands in the 80s Okay. Oh yeah. So crazy
Unknown Speaker 1:05:35
one of the other girls on there she's on Celebrity Wife Swap oh and the other girls from Yeah, and she was really chill and like cool the whole time pretty much so um another thing I found in my research on the war against Christmas is so people's world wrote this little article that was just talking about the war on Christmas and kind of how there's been some glorification of guns kind of involved with that or you know becoming so okay here's
Unknown Speaker 1:06:13
Christ was a firearms dealer. You know how he be
Unknown Speaker 1:06:16
Christ was packin um, he's gonna blow you away with his his miracle miracle by the way is the name of Jesus a shotgun So, here's the picture of it. And to describe the picture it's basically a all white family with a Christmas tree in the background and they're each holding their very own assault rifle. And
Unknown Speaker 1:06:54
you get an assault rifle and you get missed. All right.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:58
Oh, and yeah, they're just each holding their own little assault rifle and they're smiling and you know, they look just about how you would think. Looks like all the men in the picture struggle with growing facial hair. There's a child in the picture. I feel kind of bad for her. But the caption posted with this was merry christmas PS Santa bring ammo. And to make it the cherry on top it was he posted this just a few days after a school shooting. So
Unknown Speaker 1:07:41
Whoo. Yeah, just like rice total wanted. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:47
Oh, and this is by the way. from Kentucky, US Representative Thomas Massie, Macy Massey massacre.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:56
Oh, I'm glad people like this are in office. really puts my mind at ease.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:04
So I hope that Warren Christmas didn't didn't shake any of our listeners too bad.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:11
No, I hope they get fired up and they become soldiers in this war. Gets your gun. So more than that needs to be fought in these trying times. This is a huge concern with everything else going on in the world. I care about people saying Merry Christmas the most. No, yeah, that's the reasons I mean important. Can we
Unknown Speaker 1:08:34
not have our simple traditions forced upon everybody else.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:40
It's all I want.
Unknown Speaker 1:08:43
Um, and all I want is for our listeners to have a good holiday. Or a Chris massacre. Criss Angel mess. I'm printing yourselves out a little Criss Angel and put that little angel on top of your your Christmas tree or in front of your
Unknown Speaker 1:09:07
menorah. Or plaster your house and Criss Angel.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:12
Yeah, just stick it on your front door. Tis the season for Criss Angel to spread his magic enjoy and cringe to the people.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:28
In don't forget to check us out on social media. We're nervous laughter podcast on Instagram. nervous laugh pod on Twitter. I'm going to say the same thing I say every time I forgot Twitter existed until just now so I'll try to remember to put something on there.
Unknown Speaker 1:09:47
Yeah, we'll use it eventually. But yeah, thanks for listening. And we'll see you next episode. Pew pew pew pew pew stay cringy You get your
Unknown Speaker 1:10:02
assault rifle Christmas!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai