Get your imagicillin ready! Alyssa takes us on a cabbage filled journey of birth and overpriced toys.
Get your imagicillin ready! Alyssa takes us on a cabbage filled journey of birth and overpriced toys.
Cabbage Patch Kids presidential collection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNPNAd4nBq8
Cabbage Patch Playdate | My Crazy Obsession (TLC): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QPMLQGuL0c
Birth of a cabbage patch kid at Babyland General Hospital: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KrxGCMZHkk
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
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Speaker 1 0:00
Jamie recently my sister and I took a trip to Waco. Don't you mean wacko, wacko Texas it is kind of wacko. Her tattoo artist is there. So that's why we go but it's kind of a shitty town. Like, the roads are really terrible and I feel like you can get lost easily. So we're just like talking about how the town is shitty driving around. And she's like lighting a cigarette.
Unknown Speaker 0:32
So cool.
Speaker 1 0:36
She goes, there's so many goddamn churches in this town
Speaker 1 1:03
I laughed for five minutes. Probably
Unknown Speaker 1:06
a perfect follow up from our last year.
Speaker 1 1:09
Yes, absolutely. And the cigarette I was like, You're so cool.
Unknown Speaker 1:20
We're gonna get out of this town.
Nobody understands this here.
Unknown Speaker 1:21
True.
Unknown Speaker 1:22
Nobody understands a son nervous laughter Podcast.
Unknown Speaker 1:25
I'm Alyssa.
Unknown Speaker 1:28
I'm Jamie.
Speaker 1 1:29
Welcome. This is the talk shit about waco podcasts now.
Unknown Speaker 1:34
Yeah,
Speaker 1 1:35
have you ever deep crash David Koresh name? Yeah. Have you ever been there to Waco? No, but
Speaker 2 1:43
I would like to go just to visit the Waco site. Yeah,
Speaker 1 1:49
I haven't been there which I don't know how I kind of forgot about that. But next time we go, oh, Allah go check it out. Yeah,
Speaker 2 2:01
there's still an active Church on the site down and if I'm not mistaken, they still believe that.
Unknown Speaker 2:10
Steve Dave correct
Speaker 2 2:11
Steve Carell whenever Mr. Crash will come back. One day, so well.
Unknown Speaker 2:18
What if he came back while I was in Waco?
Unknown Speaker 2:22
Just put a cigarette.
Unknown Speaker 2:26
Like Heather's
Speaker 1 2:30
I would be interested in Waco is I was thinking about it. I kind of feel like it's the type of town that it's like New Orleans if New Orleans didn't have any personality or soul. Hmm. Okay, so it's just kind of, there's some nice stuff, but there's some fucking garbage. Okay. And I would argue
Unknown Speaker 2:58
that that is the same for new
Speaker 1 3:02
I mean, I've only been there once, so I didn't want to totally knock it cuz. Yeah. I don't know a lot about it. But oh, no. Yeah,
Speaker 2 3:11
it's a fine enough city like most cities, and it also has a lot of trash like most. Yeah,
Speaker 1 3:18
wait goes like that. But there's not anything fun. And the roads are shitty, like New Orleans.
Speaker 2 3:25
It feels like a place that like a Southern Mom would have fun. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 3:29
Okay, sure. This
Unknown Speaker 3:31
was the vibe I get.
Speaker 1 3:32
Yeah, cuz they have the Magnolia stuff. Yeah, the Magnolia silos or whatever. Yeah, there's that. And yeah, it is very, like, touristy but my sister gets tattoos done there. And I just like go to antique malls and look at shit. Um, but we decided to stay at a liketo because there was like, this whole thing was getting a hotel and like, our reservation got canceled and all this stuff. So the keynote was like our third option.
Unknown Speaker 4:09
You're like, I wouldn't choose to stay there first people.
Speaker 1 4:11
It's fine. What I worked at Lucky to that's where I spent in that lady's coffee cup. Talking about that last night, but I think I talked about that on the podcast like forever ago.
Speaker 2 4:23
I think the only keynote I stayed at was in San Antonio. And then I heard gunshots when we were walking back to the hotel at night. And we're like, Well,
Unknown Speaker 4:33
sounds right.
Speaker 1 4:36
So we check in and I guess the pool was kind of by the front desk. So we're waiting to check in and there's all these people without shoes on. And we're like, What the fuck? Before we saw the pool? Yeah. I guess people were just like, leave the pool and then go get a snack and a little area of snacks that they had have not put their shoes on. So that was the first red flag. We're like, Yeah, whoa, gross. Like
Speaker 2 5:06
inside I would put the shoes on. Yeah,
Speaker 1 5:10
it was gross. So we go in and the rooms. It's whatever. My sister falls asleep, like immediately. So I'm just like hanging out. I couldn't really sleep finally I fell asleep. And then I would just wake up like pretty much every hour. I was like, this place is fucking loud. And then maybe around like five I realized it's the people above us. Oh, oh, I have never heard anything like that before. Like stomping all night. Yes. It was worse than any apartment I've been in like, it seemed like they were just jumping and like landing full body. Maybe they're having a party. Dude, I don't fucking know. I went into the bathroom. And I could kind of hear through the event. And it sounded like maybe there were kids. But then I started thinking about it. And I was like, what if it's like a domestic violence situation? So I ended up calling the front desk. And she was like, Okay, I'll call and tell them to quiet down. And they did not quiet down at all. I almost got worse. Oh my god. It was terrible. I tried to take a video of it, but you can't really hear it
Speaker 2 6:27
could just imagine them like getting a phone call and they hang the phone up. They're like, Alright, kids. Let's go let loose. Here's some sugar. That
Speaker 1 6:36
is what it sounded like. So I called back. Shake the answering the right desk. You could tell that she was just somebody that was very no nonsense. Like, I've worked at a hotel for a while. I don't let these motherfuckers run the show like I do. Just like well, actually, when I called it through the first time the lady that answered was very rude. So I called the police and the call to evict them
Speaker 2 7:10
hell yeah, I wonder I mean, I feel like you couldn't have been the only person that called been calling the police. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 7:17
I don't know. I mean,
Unknown Speaker 7:20
like, You're rude. I'm calling the police.
Speaker 1 7:23
Yes, like this is the best customer service I've ever had. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2 7:28
gonna get Alamo up on that. Yes.
Speaker 1 7:31
If you know me in person, I always bitch about Alamo Drafthouse now because they let they let talkers talk all the time. Yeah, they need to hire that lady. I didn't catch your name. I got to see her when we were checking out and tell her thank you.
Speaker 2 7:45
You should leave a review which was awesome.
Speaker 1 7:49
Yeah, I didn't get her name but I mean yeah, I'll leave a leave a review for sure. Yeah, those very crazy yeah, did you
Speaker 2 7:59
did you like brown knows when the police came
Speaker 1 8:03
they were the floor above me so I never saw anybody like they didn't have to talk to me or whatever. I guess she was the one that called I would have been like I
Unknown Speaker 8:11
have to go get ice on site sorry.
Speaker 1 8:17
Honestly, I kind of thought about it but it was like what if it is some bad situation and there's a shootout or something? Imagine if I got killed for being nosy
Unknown Speaker 8:32
Yeah, i
Unknown Speaker 8:34
Hey, if the dirt is good I might be worth it for the tea
Speaker 1 8:41
we do on nervous laughter podcast we will dies who bring you good content except I wouldn't be able to because I'd be dead I
Speaker 2 8:48
mean we went to that man up event that a true we're double pace that was located how to it was canceled because there were to shoot shooting the day before so true. We are you know on the ground to bring you there. Thanks.
Speaker 1 9:05
Um, you know, those little children that were up in the room above me they were like fucking crazy. And do you know what children like?
Unknown Speaker 9:15
Corn?
Unknown Speaker 9:16
Like children Yeah,
Speaker 1 9:21
that's a way better thing than what I came up with. But children like toys. Even if these children may be needed more toys so they can shut the fuck up and let people sleep. But today I'm going to be talking about
Unknown Speaker 9:45
just unveiled the Cabbage Patch Kid.
Speaker 2 9:50
Yes, I love capital. Love them. I had one when I was younger, and it was um, I didn't realize till I watched something about them like a couple of years ago that I think I got them after they were popular because they were like, it was on Costco and my parents were like, oh, let's get cheap and bulk. We can get three for three children. Girls
Speaker 1 10:12
at your school or like, even two anymore.
Unknown Speaker 10:18
You got the budget doll. I
Speaker 2 10:20
didn't take that to school. I took my Tamagotchi to school. You know? This one. She is a first edition. Birthday first edition Zoo. Birthday Party one that just makes me sad because it makes me think of Chucky, Chucky Cheese or whatever. Whatever. He's like, I'm an orphan. But I like birthday parties.
Unknown Speaker 10:46
Oh, yes. She would have been sitting there.
Speaker 2 10:49
Yeah, because I think they're all supposed to be like orphans that you adopt, right? Yeah.
Speaker 1 10:57
I have a whole I have the whole backstory. Like Chucky Cheese, I have their backstory. But this one she used to have a kazoo. And I found on NC that they have replacements. So I'm gonna put her by the mic. When you squeeze you're supposed to put the kazoo in her mouth and then squeeze her and then she like blows the kazoo. But without her kazoo. One of my cats just freaked out. They did not like that. But yeah, her dresses Happy Birthday. This is probably this isn't least 30 years old, I would imagine because the copyright says 9090 But I don't think I got it when I was two. Okay. Yeah, but it's so old that her tights will not stay up and blessing it out. Yeah, they just need to stitch it. But I accidentally saw her crack. The pants are falling. The Creator's signature is on her bus was fucking weird. A weird
Unknown Speaker 12:00
place to put it.
Unknown Speaker 12:03
Actually had little butts like that. I didn't
Speaker 1 12:06
need her. But yeah, her tights won't stay up anymore. So
Unknown Speaker 12:11
yeah, so I'm gonna be talking.
Speaker 1 12:16
I'll take a photo of my daughter and I for Instagram here. I
Unknown Speaker 12:19
can get one real quick.
Unknown Speaker 12:22
I wish that I had her name.
Speaker 1 12:25
I looked online to try to find it. But I think they all have individual names. Yeah, yeah. So I'm hoping there's a tiny chance that maybe that could be at my grandpa's house because we had a lot of stuff there was we stay there a lot. But hopefully I can find it. I think she came with a birthday hat originally. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to ramble for 10 minutes about her. No,
Speaker 2 12:50
no, she's, she's a prize to be won. So I
Speaker 1 12:55
was actually gonna sell her on eBay A while back, but then I just felt bad doing that. And later on. I'll tell you why I made the decision not to sell her. Okay. So just a brief, very brief history of cabbage patch. The brand was started in 1982. And the doll brands set every toy industry sales record for three years running, and was one of the most popular lines of children's licensed products in the 80s. And they have become the longest running doll franchise are one of the longest running doll franchises in the US. Okay,
Speaker 2 13:40
so let me guess who's number one.
Unknown Speaker 13:47
Um,
Speaker 1 13:49
so before the dolls got picked up by a major brand, which I'm not gonna get into all their history, I feel like cabbage patch has been owned by like five or six different companies. Oh, okay. And at one point, they went bankrupt, and then they're like, bought by another person. So it's like a whole fucking thing. But the owner before they got picked up for the first time, he and his wife decided to write a book called The Legend of Cabbage Patch Kids. Oh my gosh, was to try to get people to you know, invest. I used to have one of their books and I couldn't find it, but I'm gonna try to find one on eBay. Yes.
Unknown Speaker 14:35
So
Speaker 1 14:38
basically the lore of Cabbage Patch Kids. It's kind of a foresty thing, like you're saying, like Fern Gully? Yeah. So there are these little creatures called bunny bees, which are kind of like they had their Cabbage Patch faces They were miniature and they had bunny ears. They kind of like floated around like these I guess
Unknown Speaker 15:11
the visuals a little creepy to me, but they're you'll
Speaker 1 15:13
get to see them here a little bit. Yes, I have honeybees for you to look at. So what bunny bees would do, they would fly around and pollinate cabbages with magical crystals. And there's a 10 year old boy in the story, who discovered the Cabbage Patch Kids by following a bunny be behind a waterfall into a magical Cabbage Patch. And that's where he found the babies were being born into a neglected garden.
Unknown Speaker 15:54
That's a lot for 10 year old to stumble upon. Yes.
Speaker 1 16:01
Because I had well, you had a hard upbringing too. But yeah, that did not occur to me until just now.
Unknown Speaker 16:10
Like, oh my god, there's all these neglected children.
Unknown Speaker 16:12
Yeah.
Speaker 1 16:16
So he has to save them for being abducted to work in the gold mines of the area that are operated by a villainous named lavender McDade and her two cohorts in crime cabbage jack, and Bo weasel. Cabbage Jack. Yeah, so all those people want the cabinet. They want this bitch to work in the gold mine.
Unknown Speaker 16:53
Like when you're hurting me, this is who you're really
Unknown Speaker 17:02
I really hope the mic picks that up.
Speaker 2 17:04
I love this like cabbage patch, goldmine of paint and children together.
Unknown Speaker 17:13
Yeah, so like you're saying
Unknown Speaker 17:17
they are
Speaker 1 17:19
like adopted out. So basically,
Speaker 2 17:22
sorry, are they just scooped up by the goldmine or? No. So
Speaker 1 17:26
it's unclear if the little boys scoops them up, but somebody does to save them from the goldmine. So they adopt them out to loving parents who would adopt them and keep them safe in their homes.
Speaker 2 17:41
When they really missed out on like a good video game. Oh, Trinity. I felt like the school back came back. And
Unknown Speaker 17:48
that sounds fucking cool. Yeah. And I mean, if you've seen Bioshock,
Unknown Speaker 17:51
you know, you know, so.
Unknown Speaker 17:56
Somebody surely makes.
Speaker 1 18:00
Yeah, that's kind of it with cabbage patch. Lower the story part. There's not too much. That's super interesting. In the mid 80s, at the height of their popularity, they were one of the toys that parents would just beat the shit out of each other to get for Christmas. Yeah,
Speaker 2 18:21
I was watching some videos of like, all the like huge lines and shit of people and people just being like, I didn't want like a boy. But the person. The clerk was handing them out because you know, they didn't want people to get clobbered. Like I didn't want it's like, oh my god, like you said, they're all unique with unique names and stuff. And they're boys or girls. So you could take your little cabbage from the patch.
Speaker 1 18:52
I will say the boys are definitely less cool. Yeah. Because they don't have the hair like her hair is. It's just such an interesting texture. It's some crazy ass type of yarn. But yeah, the boys like their whole head is hard. Yeah. And they don't have the moveable hair, which I felt like kind of makes them. That's kind of like she's like
Unknown Speaker 19:19
cabbage patch just waved it.
Speaker 2 19:22
Give her a Lin name. Oh, I feel like Rebecca, Rebecca Lynn,
Speaker 1 19:27
Rebecca, Rebecca Lynn. Say hi today listeners. Rebecca Lin's.
Unknown Speaker 19:35
I'm sorry, I don't know she does not like that noise.
Speaker 2 19:38
I also just want to say about like the the choosing the girl over the boy. I did have a Tamagotchi that was like it was like a like a little person baby. It wasn't like an animal. So it would randomly be a boy or girl and I'd always reset it if it was a boy. I was like No, not in this house. Ah
Unknown Speaker 20:02
you know, just getting this
Unknown Speaker 20:05
girl house.
Speaker 1 20:08
Another thing that we previously mentioned, like a long time ago on an episode is there was a controversy with the snacktime kids collection. Oh, yeah, yeah, so that was the doll that would eat plastic snacks, but it ended up like eating kid's hair and like their fingers can get stuck in there and shit. So that was recalled. Now that's kind of interesting stuff. I did find something that's really fucking weird and creepy. So I'm gonna play it for you. It's a line that they did. Oh, yes.
Speaker 3 20:45
They're gonna put these Cabbage Patch Kid they don't call them dolls anymore. They're called cabbage beds. Kids and collectors get very upset if you call them Cabbage Patch dolls or Cabbage Patch Kids. Anyway, they put out a presidential line that they're gonna put online to auction on eBay starting October 30. We've actually flown in the the cabbage patch presidential line. So let's bring those out. It's the entire
Unknown Speaker 21:18
Where's where's grace? That's there. This is Puerto Rico. This is a Puerto Rican Morocco. Yeah, they're just not ready for
Speaker 3 21:36
you. Who's that? That's me, Joe Biden. Okay. And I guess that's Michelle Obama. That is not a very complimentary, Michelle Obama. That's Brock Obama, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Now Mitt Romney doesn't have a birth certificate here.
Unknown Speaker 21:49
You know that you're 20 That's what's running
Speaker 3 21:58
that's actually what's funny about this is Cabbage Patch Kids these are one of a kind they all come with a birth certificate and with the company sent us these and all of these arrived except for the Mitt Romney won. The Mitt Romney one arrived later out of its packaging and without the birth certificate. I'm not kidding. So we're not have
Unknown Speaker 22:16
the black guy didn't have a birth certificate. There will be all kinds of trouble. Let me just make sure this doesn't say can you? Um,
Speaker 2 22:30
yeah, so I I really liked the way those look. It's look creepy.
Unknown Speaker 22:33
They're very creepy.
Speaker 1 22:38
I don't remember how I came across them. But I, the first thing I saw is that image of like the four dudes together, and I was like, That is terrifying. But do you want to do some guessing to see how much some of them sold for? Oh, the presidential ones? Yeah. Oh, these are one of a kind. They would be auctioned off on eBay. And the proceeds would be donated to charity. Oh, well, that's cool. So this was 2012.
Unknown Speaker 23:13
They did you
Speaker 1 23:14
know nominees and stuff too. So Sarah Palin had one. Oh my god. Would you like to guess how much how many mouthwash cups for? Oh, and keep in mind all the old dudes want to bone her?
Unknown Speaker 23:30
Oh, God. I get that. I
Speaker 2 23:34
just I always just think about her. Like, what's the difference between an Alaskan mom and a pit bull?
Unknown Speaker 23:41
Your mom wears a lipstick
Speaker 2 23:47
I'm gonna guess I don't know. $12,000.90
Speaker 1 23:51
Oh, what the fine $19,000
Unknown Speaker 23:56
Is that kind of like the same price range for these other ones?
Speaker 1 23:58
No. Nowhere near was
Unknown Speaker 24:02
hers. Highest or highest.
Speaker 1 24:06
Somebody is gonna make that don't want to fucking flush why?
Unknown Speaker 24:11
Oh my gosh, that is so gross.
Speaker 2 24:14
You're absolutely right. And that is? I love that you highlighted that.
Speaker 1 24:19
So gross. This article doesn't have how much Obama's sold for but do you want to guess how much Joe Biden's sold for since he was the vice president at this time they made one for him.
Unknown Speaker 24:32
Um
Speaker 1 24:37
nine $903,550 So, people really wanted that Sarah.
Speaker 4 24:46
That's a lie.
Unknown Speaker 24:51
I'm gonna follow up on
Speaker 2 24:59
my favorite similarily we can't put the couldn't bring the Sarah Palin one out in the video you showed me they're like the stall is already torn shreds
Unknown Speaker 25:14
Michelle Obama wins. Pretty cute. Yeah,
Speaker 2 25:15
it was cute too. I just can't imagine being like, oh, I want to fuck that dog. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 25:22
Um, you
Speaker 1 25:24
said that there was something you wanted to tell me about with cabbages. Oh, yeah. So
Speaker 2 25:29
um, have you ever seen that like little video of the like adults with their Cabbage Patch Kids? Oh, on the swing plane date.
Unknown Speaker 25:38
Dirac sent that to you?
Speaker 2 25:41
Yeah. So thank you d Roc for sending us that.
Speaker 1 25:45
We'll find it and put it on Instagram. But yeah, the caption says something like boomers, there was no mental illness in our generation. And then in shows all these adults that brought their cabbage patches on a fucking play date, and they have them in a swing and well in the swing. It's like a spinning like
Speaker 2 26:09
Six Flags swing where they're all just like spinning around and having fun then adults are just talking about them. It's really weird.
Speaker 1 26:20
Actually. Oh, my gosh, so you're Rebecca Lynn. Stay here, girl. All right, I guess we can clip it in. But yeah, one of the ladies is like, oh, it's her first time. So I think that's why she's not saying anything. Like dude. I
Speaker 2 26:38
think they're making a joke about cuz I think the guy had a boy doll and they're making, they're making some joke about like him like, Oh, he's gonna act up or maybe I'm just totally misremembering this and I'll add it in and feel like a dick afterwards. But it was
Unknown Speaker 26:55
weird. Hello,
Unknown Speaker 26:56
this is Kevin.
Unknown Speaker 26:59
Yes, sure.
Speaker 5 27:00
I'd love you to come over and play today. By foot
Speaker 6 27:04
a playdate at the Prozis is never just storytime or playing catch. They have spent about $2,000 to create an amusement park in their own backyard that caters solely to their Cabbage Patch Kids. I can't wait for him to get here. It takes Joe over two hours to set up a motorized train. A swing and a pulley operated hot air balloon that can lift the kids 30 feet off the ground.
Speaker 6 27:35
What took you guys so long I've been waiting for you. With dozens of official Cabbage Patch collectors clubs across the country with 1000s of members. The Prozis like many other parents have found most of their friends through their kids. I
Speaker 5 27:50
know who you are. You come over here girl and you you're so sweet. I love having friends. Come visit me and play on my toys and stuff that I have my nobody falling out. Nope. Nobody falling out.
Unknown Speaker 28:07
Everybody's quiet.
Speaker 7 28:10
Jen has never been on the swing before. Neither mine yeah. First time I didn't do it. That's why their time.
Speaker 5 28:19
This is a unique little fantasy world that you can walk out of everyday life. Lift off and come into no harm done no foul. And have a good time. Don't go too high. Bird. Catch a bird. Oh no catch up bird.
Speaker 1 28:43
But the main thing I wanted to talk about today is my favorite part of cabbage patch. Have you heard of baby land? General Hospital?
Unknown Speaker 28:55
Baby land.
Speaker 1 28:59
Baby land General Hospital is the birthplace of cabbage patch.
Speaker 2 29:05
Oh my god. Please told me they have like a Grey's Anatomy kind of show with the cabbage patch.
Speaker 1 29:16
Jamie today you are going to watch a Cabbage Patch Doll be boring. Oh wait, you're gonna get to see the bunny bees. You're gonna get to see how mother cabbage brings forth these little children. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 29:32
I feel nervous.
Speaker 1 29:37
So baby land General Hospital is the birthplace of the Cabbage Patch Kids. It's located in Cleveland, Georgia.
Speaker 2 29:48
Can I just say let's sounds like the least magical place
Unknown Speaker 29:52
in Georgia.
Speaker 2 29:54
Because they're like he's behind a waterfall in the magical Cabbage Patch boy On Cleveland, Georgia
Speaker 1 30:00
bounce a good point they, I guess they kind of brought the forest to Cleveland, Georgia. We'll find out making their own magic. Yeah, yeah. So the guy that started the brand bought a formal former clinic and turned it into a retail facility to sell the dolls. So just a little bit about it. I want to go here so fucking bad. I
Speaker 2 30:29
think I remember seeing some things about it that I'm recalling it
Speaker 1 30:32
is fucking nuts. The first time I learned about baby land, from the Tick Tock user Margaret French presents. She and her girlfriend got super stoned and went to check it out. Which Oh, sounds kind of terrifying. When you see how baby land looks,
Unknown Speaker 30:53
little faces.
Speaker 1 30:55
Yeah. So many little eyes staring at you.
Speaker 2 30:59
I have a question is maybe laying the place where they have like the giant tree? Yeah. And then they okay. And they have like the nurses like can Okay, okay. Okay. Yes.
Speaker 1 31:10
So basically, you're going to the hospital where these babies are born. So everyone is wearing nurse uniforms. And when they started it was like the old fashion like white uniform with the little white hat.
Unknown Speaker 31:22
Like sexy ones.
Speaker 1 31:26
That style but not sexy, like an actual nurse. Now they wear scrubs, which I feel like is less cool. You're gonna have the classic Yeah. But in the front, they have a mini museum where you can look at old Cabbage Patch dolls, learn some history. Their website says that some of the documents that they have are valued at up to $37,000 Why it's Yeah, wow. I wish I would have kept mine
Speaker 2 31:57
although it was probably like a way older generations. Yeah,
Speaker 1 32:01
I think that I'll cover Rebecca lens ears. But yeah, I think she's kind of like an older one to
Unknown Speaker 32:10
the early to mid 80s.
Unknown Speaker 32:11
I love what you covered.
Unknown Speaker 32:16
Okay, Rebecca, one
Unknown Speaker 32:19
word, like reaching for school.
Speaker 1 32:25
A lot of the hospital is just a very creepy retail space. So they have a bunch of cribs that are just jam packed full of dials. So you just have all these dials staring at you. They kind of make some areas look like nurseries. And they have a blue room. That's for boys. And a pink room. That's for girls. Oh, classically. Yeah, so they kind of make it try to seem like it's an actual orphanage, I guess. Chuckie Cheese.
Unknown Speaker 33:06
Oh, God.
Speaker 1 33:07
Like if you don't get fucking adopted, then you're gonna be there. Well, I mean, pizza, and fucking singing and playing video games.
Unknown Speaker 33:17
It's so weird to me. But they're like,
Unknown Speaker 33:20
I don't know. They're like, what?
Unknown Speaker 33:22
Let's play the adoption process.
Unknown Speaker 33:26
Yeah.
Speaker 1 33:28
Yes. So all the dolls are for sale. And these little nurseries. So it's basically like a store. Yeah, kind of thing, but just in a very fucking weird format. And they sell several sizes of the doll, but kind of the standard one is $80 Whoa, yeah. So if I go I will not be getting a fucking souvenir doll. Yeah, that's insane.
Speaker 2 33:54
Is it just because it's like from that place? Or is that just like the price they go for?
Speaker 1 33:59
I didn't look it up. But I knew when they started selling them in the 80s. I think they range from like 20 to $30. But I don't know what they are now. Gotcha.
Speaker 4 34:09
I want to see if I can find real quick. Okay. I'm sorry. Their websites just flooding.
Speaker 2 34:16
Like Welcome to the magical world of cabbage patch. Find your baby.
Unknown Speaker 34:22
Oh, see the adoptees?
Speaker 2 34:27
Are 80 bucks on the fucking website. Okay, some of them are in their cabbage seats, I guess. Yeah. But they do have like a wide variety of
Unknown Speaker 34:39
nationalities and stuff.
Speaker 1 34:43
Yeah, so their website the website for baby land says with 1000s of Cabbage Patch Kids throughout the hospital, you're sure to find your perfect match. Take an oath of adoption and your new baby will give you unconditional love. A
Speaker 2 35:00
lot of commitment for me as a child is a fun, a lot of commitment.
Speaker 1 35:03
So they have a picture on their website.
Unknown Speaker 35:08
Of some kids taking the oath.
Speaker 2 35:11
Oh my god, no.
Unknown Speaker 35:15
So it's like,
Speaker 1 35:18
ah, like a doctor sitting down with the kids and they're all like razor and blade. You
Speaker 2 35:25
let this baby fucking die. You WILL FUCKING DIE.
Speaker 1 35:30
For some reason, like that part kind of like, makes me feel emotional. Why don't we have to do that with real babies? Like, you should have to take a fucking pledge if you have a baby.
Speaker 2 35:44
Yes, I feel like that would be good. Yes,
Speaker 1 35:49
like a wine just only Rebecca Lynn get a pledge.
Unknown Speaker 35:54
I wish my parents
Speaker 1 35:57
well, I don't remember because I was a kid. But remember how I said I was gonna sell her and I decided not to take an oath and it took an oath and I'm like, I must have taken an oath at some point. So
Unknown Speaker 36:17
I can't let Rebecca wind down man.
Speaker 2 36:19
All these assholes on eBay. breaking their oath. Yeah, children. That's awful. Yeah, I
Speaker 1 36:26
don't know what the paperwork that the dolls comes with. Have I don't know if you sign anything or if it's just their paperwork, but I feel like I can't I can't let Rebecca Lynn go. Now I adopt her. I have adoption. I had adoption paperwork at some point. I don't know where it is. But
Speaker 2 36:46
I still have memories of my cabbage patch. I don't know where she is. Well, and
Speaker 1 36:52
I found that you can get them different outfits. So like, Oh, great and a Halloween outfit. So if you come to my house, you'll probably be meeting my dog Rebecca Lynn. She can be your porch goose. No, the sun will fade her delicate red hair.
Unknown Speaker 37:14
Yeah, you must keep her pristine a must.
Speaker 1 37:18
So the star of the fucking show at baby land. General Hospital though, is mother cabbage. She has a large tree that births all of the babies. And on the weekend, baby land will have live births or audience members assist an LC or I'm sorry, and L p n which is a licensed patch nurse in helping mother cabbage birth a baby so she gives the nurse will give mother cabbage a dose of a majesty side job no it's like imagination. And then just side and it's in a little IV thing that kind of bubbles. I'll show you here in a second. But it's to help relax her leaves because she has to be 10 leaves dilated oh my god in order to have the baby
Speaker 2 38:26
Why would they make it like that? Like why why not just say like just fucking gross children? No, there's
Speaker 1 38:33
there's a whole fucking show God are you ready to see God?
Unknown Speaker 38:39
I'm so ready. I'm so excited.
Speaker 8 38:41
Good afternoon. How's everyone doing today? Good thanks very much. Love nurse TV and movies and steam other cabinet with this delivery. Like it down just a little bit of this Imagine sellin to get to Mother cabbage just to help her to relax a little bit. All of our LPS this licensed patch nurse is large amounts of TLC Can anyone tell me what TLC is tender loving care. That a little 30 bees that you see flying high above our magical patch. They sprinkle their pollen down over the crystals that cause mother cabbage to go into labor. They also help us to determine the sex of our babies to deliver boy babies or girl babies. Now mother cabbage has dilated to full Tinley, so far as which is good. Otherwise, we'd have a branch delivery and we could be here for quite some time. Now we're hoping for a baby girl sample across Schieffer. angers paint
Unknown Speaker 40:04
a happy baby.
Speaker 8 40:08
And it's turned pigs that means we have a baby girl on the way. Now before mother cabbage can deliver, I'm gonna need everyone's help in the audience by taking in a deep breath and a deer that inhale. Exhale. Some of you have done this before. See the baby's head first, which is good
Unknown Speaker 40:36
to see brown is
Unknown Speaker 40:41
pushing right here
Unknown Speaker 40:47
when we get spayed and turned and ran
Speaker 8 40:55
away do you know this little girl's gonna need a purse and the middle name? What I'm going to name this baby girl.
Speaker 9 41:08
Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, after William and Kate
Unknown Speaker 41:17
was over to Addison
Speaker 8 41:18
Addison. Addison will be this baby's name. She'll be carried into the newborn nursery, given a newborn checkup. And she is available for adoption. Give yourself you did a great job.
Speaker 1 41:38
So Jamie, what did you think about Mother cabbage and her brave birth?
Unknown Speaker 41:43
Um, that felt like
Speaker 2 41:45
a really weird performance for children. I thought that was gonna be like, oh, you know, they just because I've seen the pictures. I thought the head was just like gonna grow into like cabbage or something. And people were like, wow, but she's like, fucking like measuring the fucking the vagina dilation?
Speaker 4 42:07
Yeah, there's fucking ultrasound on the trees, tummy hole or OWL holes.
Speaker 1 42:16
The anatomy is not very clear. I don't know what Mother cabbage is doing. Exactly. But
Unknown Speaker 42:25
yeah.
Speaker 1 42:29
It was really funny watching your face during that like every once in a while I would look at her I
Unknown Speaker 42:39
was like, Why?
Speaker 2 42:40
Why like, Okay, this might be kind of funny or fun for like an adult who has had children but like, for children does be like, she's
Speaker 1 42:50
dilated is their introduction to the birds and the bees.
Speaker 2 42:56
And I just gotta say, it was fucking hilarious when she was like, Alright, let me turn around then she was like controlling his arm. Like making
Speaker 1 43:06
I've watched a couple videos, but I want to watch more because they have the same script, but kind of like, how the the nurse does it is a little bit different each time and some of them you can tell fucking hate their jobs. Some I bet some of them are into it, which I'm like, I think it's it's very fucking weird. But it's kind of cute. I mean, yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 43:32
mean, in a really weird way. And like,
Unknown Speaker 43:38
kite kite.
Speaker 1 43:40
I actually hadn't watched that one all the way through. So that was a very fun surprise. To be fair, I thought he didn't say kite too. I was like, well,
Unknown Speaker 43:50
Oh, what did he say? Kate?
Speaker 1 43:55
Like Kayden William, like the fucking royalty or whatever? Oh, okay. He's just okay. He's British. The LPN did not understand.
Unknown Speaker 44:10
Kate's Okay, Okay, listen.
Unknown Speaker 44:11
Hey, okay, I
Unknown Speaker 44:12
got okay.
Unknown Speaker 44:16
Okay, all right. Thank you for clarifying.
Speaker 1 44:18
Yes. Yeah, but I want to watch more videos because a lot of people take it too up close for my liking. Like I want a further back so I can see all of my other cabbage.
Unknown Speaker 44:31
Yeah, I want the full tree. I want
Unknown Speaker 44:33
the cabbage. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 44:35
because some of the heads are animatronic. I was.
Unknown Speaker 44:37
Yeah, that creeped me out.
Speaker 2 44:41
When they did a little pan they see the head move in the cabin. No, not for me.
Speaker 1 44:47
Yeah, so I have not asked carboy number three if he will go with me, but he does not know he will go with me one day The waiting for the picture I can't wait to just study his face the
Unknown Speaker 45:08
god yeah, I can. I
Speaker 1 45:10
want to go so I want to pack up tomorrow. The baby land General Hospital.
Speaker 2 45:16
I kind of want to go to it does look pretty dope. I don't know if I buy anything but it's yeah, it's it's interesting. I
Speaker 1 45:24
would maybe buy an outfit for Rebecca LAN if they Yeah. But um
Speaker 4 45:31
Yeah, a couple of videos that I watched people
Speaker 1 45:36
went and looked around and then they weren't having a live birth that day or it was later. So they were like, Oh yeah, so we just left I'm like, I am not going to fuck him baby land and not seeing mother cabbage give birth? Yeah, like no, I was like, would you go?
Speaker 2 45:52
Let me tell ya. Yeah, Mother cabbage give birth. I
Speaker 1 45:58
will see with my eyes her like vagina cabbage tree body. Push that baby out.
Unknown Speaker 46:06
We will suggest a one name.
Unknown Speaker 46:11
Yes, I'll be the one DLL to names
Unknown Speaker 46:13
and that l do Len for the middle.
Unknown Speaker 46:18
Yeah, well, I'm
Unknown Speaker 46:19
glad that you enjoy that.
Speaker 2 46:21
Yeah, that was awesome. I loved it.
Unknown Speaker 46:25
I've been thinking about
Unknown Speaker 46:28
sharing this with you for a while.
Speaker 4 46:32
So yeah, those bunny bees are really creepy. The bunny bees are weird.
Speaker 1 46:39
They are weird. But I guess that's all but we we in Rebecca Lynn have Oh, make sure to get her her new kazoo that way. She can be like our instead of applause We can do her kazoo.
Speaker 2 46:58
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Be cute. Oh, good are a little NLP outfit.
Unknown Speaker 47:04
That would be a little mascot.
Speaker 1 47:06
I promise I'm not going to become a baby land person.
Unknown Speaker 47:11
I'm just very interested in it right now.
Unknown Speaker 47:13
No, this is when it started.
Speaker 1 47:16
You come over next time, and I'm like, don't sit on the babies. That's the baby's couch.
Speaker 2 47:24
We leave. Yeah. Leave. Kate Addison and Kate alone.
Unknown Speaker 47:31
No boys, though. I mean,
Speaker 1 47:34
maybe one but probably not. I don't think make it like a boy.
Unknown Speaker 47:39
Who cares. That's true,
Speaker 1 47:43
though, would be cute. Yeah. I'm just picturing it with a little little brain flag sweater. Yeah. Maybe I would need two boys then. So he wouldn't have to feel alone. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 47:55
they can hold hands. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 47:58
I like that. We're like shipping these cabbage.
Speaker 1 48:03
babies that were saved from a gold mine were like
Speaker 2 48:08
that's definitely like, a, like, gay romance novel in the making, like, oh, yeah, I still work in the mines. But I only want to work in your mind and something about a shaft. There's a lot of stuff I share a lot you can work with. Definitely. Well.
Speaker 1 48:32
I really want to find like some cabbage patch fan fiction, but also I feel a little scared because they are babies. So yeah, that's true. Maybe. Maybe they make them grow up first before they write to horrendous things. I'll find out. I'll get back to you.
Speaker 4 48:53
Well, yeah, yeah, I got the there's gotta be some interesting cabbage patch of infection. Yes.
Speaker 1 49:03
All right. Well, until next time, follow us on Facebook, Mo Marley Facebook, Instagram. Leave us a review. If you'd like be helpful read us, which is reviewing us I guess. Five stars if you love cabbage patch Yes,
Unknown Speaker 49:25
we accept nothing less than five now.
Unknown Speaker 49:29
If you can't rate nice don't read it all.
Unknown Speaker 49:33
Just kidding. I'm
Unknown Speaker 49:37
sorry. Were you gonna say something? Oh, I
Speaker 1 49:38
just said I'm not. You're like I'm kidding.
Unknown Speaker 49:43
Fucking one star
Speaker 2 49:45
are all Rebecca Lynn's gonna show up to your fucking house with a knife. You're gonna
Unknown Speaker 49:49
wake up and you're gonna hear this in your ear
Speaker 2 49:57
one of our friends of the podcast I mounted my ear last night, celebrating my birthday and it was it was, it was lovely. It was really fun and funny. It was it was awesome. Yeah, happy belated birthday.
Speaker 2 50:09
Thank you. We watched a cadet Kelly and Texas Chainsaw It was awesome. What
Unknown Speaker 50:15
a double feature is great.
Speaker 2 50:19
All right, well, we love you guys and party on!