We’re gettin’ tilted by Tilton this week, join us! Don’t let the ink seep into your eyeballs!
We’re gettin’ tilted by Tilton this week, join us! Don’t let the ink seep into your eyeballs!
Write us some of your cringe stories at [nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com](mailto:nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com)
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Speaker 1 0:00
Okay, Alyssa, so last week you had talked about, like a cringey embarrassing thing you did when you were a child. Oh yeah. Like you know talking to the the Jesus TV and it kind of reminded me of something embarrassing I did when I was a late teen. Okay. I guess I didn't like actually do it but I thought about it and told so at least one person I was gonna do it. But it was like yeah, I think I'm gonna become a Born Again virgin
Unknown Speaker 0:56
it's what Luanne platter does
Unknown Speaker 1:01
oh my god
Speaker 1 1:06
i am a proud ignorant woman. so yeah, I mean, it's not like I sat with that for like a super long time. I was just like, I'm upset about a bunch of things that happened. And I'm gonna take it back
Speaker 2 1:24
and taking it back. It's funny because I can picture the King of the Hill thing. Like, I think they baptize her. Yeah. And then she's like jumping with like her wet boobs and like, see through robe and I can just picture her boobs in my head.
Unknown Speaker 1:43
It gave you that visual.
Speaker 2 1:45
Great way to start the show. Yeah, and this is nervous laughter podcast show. Welcome. Sister. Elaine and I are both born again. virgins. Yes. Which means that we are delivering you the most pure news possible. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 2:02
here on LPN. Wait,
Speaker 2 2:05
no NLP NLP. I've never even seen a painter before. That's what a Born Again virgin I am. I
Speaker 1 2:15
don't even know what a painter is. Actually, I
Speaker 2 2:19
do have a book thing, a little phrase that I thought would be really applicable to these awful televangelist Telly I've been talking about servant to us, Alyssa. So the book gives about kind of like time management and being like, overly busy and stuff like that. And so the author was talking about how there's gender inequality with busyness and how, you know, a lot of women fall into like, working and then they take they still take care of household tasks. And oh, yeah, so they have like an uneven workload with their spouse. She was saying she interviewed a bunch of women to talk about this. And they said the worst time was after they got off of work. And then they had to come home and like, get dinner started and like, talk to their kids and like, manage all these things at once. And she said that several women described it as arsenic time, which was very fucking hilarious. Like, I want to fucking poison myself.
Unknown Speaker 3:30
Okay, like, I
Speaker 2 3:31
just want to die. Okay, yeah. Gotcha. And I just really love that. And a lot of these stories just made me think of arsenic time.
Speaker 1 3:42
It's a very toxic time, but smells like almonds. Yes. Or is that cyanide? That's
Speaker 2 3:49
like a woman's think it is cyanide. Like arsenic can Yeah, smell like almonds for the show. Yeah, yeah. We've turned arsenic into cyanide. Power.
Unknown Speaker 4:06
Yeah. Cyanide time. I mean, they both kill you so.
Speaker 2 4:11
So I have a another swindling ask pastor to talk about today. Yeah. His name is Robert Tilton.
Unknown Speaker 4:21
Am I going to get tilted? You're gonna get
Unknown Speaker 4:23
tilted. tilted on Tilton.
Speaker 2 4:26
We're all going to be tilted on our heads. How stupid this man is. So he's a former pastor who pastored and Farmers Branch Texas which is a suburb of Dallas. It has ministries peak in 1991 Tilton infomercial, infomercial style program. Success in life so it's like success dash in Dash life.
Speaker 3 4:57
Okay, like In and Out Burger like that. For your soul, just
Speaker 1 5:02
like if this feels like fast food version of it, since
Speaker 2 5:05
you're fast food. Take it to heaven. Yes. So success in life aired in 235 American television markets in its heyday, and brought in nearly $80 million per year. Wow. Holy shit. It was described as the fastest growing television ministry in America. A Dallas Morning News story published in 1992. Observe that Tilton spent more than 84% of his shows airtime for fundraising and promotions. So instead of, you know, talking about the Bible, or whatever, 84% of the time was Sami minor money? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's like more advertisements than you get during like a sitcom.
Speaker 1 5:54
I think like, I don't even think you'd get that much ad time during just like regular TV. Yeah, airing.
Speaker 2 6:02
I think you get, let's see. I think shows are usually like 40 or 45 minutes if it's an hour block. Yeah, so yeah.
Unknown Speaker 6:14
Yeah. Damn, yeah. Crazy.
Speaker 2 6:17
So ABCs primetime live ended up raising questions about Hilton's fundraising practices. And a series of investigations into the ministry were initiated, and success in life was taken off the air. So good. So on success in life, Tilton regularly taught that all of life's trials, especially poverty are the result of sin. So yeah, okay. So if you're a bad person, you deserve to be poor. You've done things to displease God. Yeah,
Speaker 1 6:56
I mean, some people aren't born until circumstances and stuff, that's fine.
Speaker 2 7:03
But there's a way to fix that. His message consisted mainly of impressing upon viewers the importance of making vows, which were financial commitments to Hilton's ministry. His preferred vow surest frequently on his broadcast was $1,000
Speaker 1 7:23
whites. Is that just like, I mean, it's it's bad to pay in any form but is that like an initial payment or like a monthly annual? I
Speaker 2 7:31
think he's just kind of trying to get people to send whatever so it's not necessarily a commitment for all the time. Okay, okay. He went I want you to send $1,000 And you don't even get free fucking water like Peter pop
Unknown Speaker 7:50
off. Yeah, that's true, or little trinket things. He just,
Unknown Speaker 7:54
there's no trinkets Wow,
Unknown Speaker 7:55
nothing in return,
Speaker 2 7:56
nothing in return. So the show also ran testimonials of viewers who gave Hilton's ministry money and received miracles and return.
Speaker 1 8:09
What kind of miracles just like the random like someone paid off my mortgage,
Speaker 2 8:14
I actually didn't get any of the miracles. Sorry. That would have been a good thing for me to look at. But
Speaker 1 8:23
that's cool. I just I didn't know if he did like any kind of specific stuff, like medical or whatever. But he sounds like he's just any kind of miracle someone will attribute to Him. Yeah, take it. Definitely.
Speaker 2 8:34
He's not really caring if people are getting miracles and return.
Speaker 1 8:42
Yes. But it's it's kind of funny because I feel like he could just legally be like, Well, I didn't say what kind of miracle or just said, Oh, miracle.
Speaker 2 8:49
It's funny that you say that because when he gets busted, he kind of uses that like, well, I didn't say like, what specific thing I was doing. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 9:01
He's that kind of guy.
Speaker 2 9:02
He's that kind of motherfucker. So as a result, sorry, you're gonna like this spark. As a result of children's television success. His Church, the Word of Faith Family Church, grew to become a mega church. It's more than 8000 members at its height, which compared to today's mega churches, it's kind of rookie numbers. Yeah, I guess back then. It was really big. Impressive. Yeah. Tim also wrote several self help books, including The power to create wealth. God's laws of success. How to pay your bills, supernaturally. Oh, supernatural wealth. Sir favorite type of podcast and how to be rich and have everything you've ever wanted. Oh, hell yeah. Cool. I need that book. Yeah. I think all of us could benefit by my book. Cuz surely he wouldn't sell a book if you couldn't read it and do the thing in the book. Right? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 10:09
I mean, people don't do that. Right. You know, whatever. No.
Speaker 2 10:15
That's why everyone who goes to Joel Osteen churches a millionaire. Yeah.
Speaker 1 10:22
That's why everyone that's written Peter Popoff. That Peter Papa. Yes, Peter Popoff has had their mortgage paid off or, you know, finding envelopes of money on their porch so scary.
Speaker 2 10:35
And 91, ABC News conducted an investigation of Tilton. The investigation alleged that Hilton's ministry threw away prayer requests that were sent in without reading them, keeping only the accompanying money or valuable sent. Oh, so I forgot to mention that earlier. But yeah, basically, you would send in this money, and it would be it would go with a prayer credit request. And basically, he was supposed to pray over your request. And then him praying, and then the money you sent, had a baby together. And then that's how you got your supernatural. Well, whatever you're supposed to get, just to clarify,
Speaker 1 11:20
but the prayer part was never happening. Yeah. So that's why they didn't become
Speaker 2 11:25
wealthy. True. If they would have had the prayer element. I'm sure it would have been much more success. Yeah,
Speaker 1 11:31
I mean, that's why it worked off with Peter pop offs. Audience Yeah.
Speaker 2 11:36
So the questioning began in November of 1991. When Diane Sawyer, the journalist, said that she'd watched several televangelists programs, including success in life, and was both fascinated and disturbed by them. But she knew people were really sensitive about religion, and there would be backlash. So she didn't initially call him out in public. She decided that her and the ABC team, were going to conduct their own investigation into Tilton. Ah, okay. She knew she was like, hey, this guy's a fucking scammer, then people would be like, no, he's doing the Word
Speaker 1 12:18
of God. Yeah. And it would give him more jabs. So
Speaker 2 12:22
she was like, No, we're gonna be like, hey, look what this motherfucker did. Yeah. And yeah, dog in dry. Yeah. Man, maybe
Speaker 1 12:33
she can be my girlfriend, dislike James Randi,
Speaker 2 12:37
and I think she's still alive. So you could have a living a
Unknown Speaker 12:41
living girlfriend?
Speaker 2 12:44
You're dead. So basically what happened? They started investigating. And somehow the undercover crew discovers that the letters with the prayer requests were sent directly to banks to process. So one of the ABC producers that was working undercover. wanted to know if this was a standard practice. So he directly asked Hilton. So the mail goes straight to the bank. Until his partner said, the mail goes to the bank, and they put the money in the account. We just get the paper with the person's name and how much they gave. So the prayer request were never looked at by tilt. So it was just like, I guess the bank was like, opening it up taking a check just like throwing everything in trash. I
Speaker 1 13:46
mean, if I was a bank teller, that's what I would do. I wouldn't read that. Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 2 13:54
Yeah. So they couldn't even like, stop to look at any of this like Tilton couldn't. It's just like your bank. You deal with those bullshit,
Speaker 1 14:04
man. That's crazy. I feel like there would at least be a middle step where like they accept it. Take all the money out. Yeah, bro rolls players away. And really, yeah, isn't it often bolc but okay. Yeah,
Speaker 2 14:16
he was like, fuck it. Nobody will ever find. Your girlfriend Diane Sawyer was like, no, no bitch. And it's
Speaker 1 14:27
kind of sad too, because it feels like a breach of privacy. Like, I mean, I guess you're like sending it in the mail for a stranger to read. But just for like an ultra stranger. Like, like,
Speaker 2 14:43
I really mean for reading about my husband's porn addiction. That's the thing I sent Jamie the other day because both of our Instagram algorithms are totally fucked now. Yeah, yeah. We've been doing this research. So yeah, we get all this random Religious shit and that was one of them. Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 1 15:04
Yeah. Weird. Maybe we'll make a little collection of it for the last episode of list or something we'll see.
Speaker 2 15:13
So church members acting on this information, started digging through dumpsters outside Hilton's many banks in the Tulsa area, as well as dumpsters outside the office of Hilton's lawyer. Yeah, over the next 30 days Trinity's guard biologist, I called them which I love that term. Found 10s of 1000s of discarded prayer request, and bank statements, all of which were shown in detail on the Tilton segment within the primetime live broadcast, titled The apple of God's eye. In a follow up broadcast, later in 1991, Sawyer said that their crew found prayer requests and bank dumpsters on 14 separate occasions in a 30 day period. Damn. Yeah, so almost half of the time that when they looked into the dumpster
Speaker 1 16:19
Okay, so I guess you can usually count on finding prayers in the trash or in there.
Speaker 2 16:23
Yeah. Which, honestly, that kind of makes me want to like go through churches dumpster I
Speaker 1 16:29
guess you could find it feels almost symbolic. It's like,
Speaker 2 16:35
what if they accidentally threw away some cash or something? That'd be fucking cool.
Speaker 1 16:39
Actually, yeah. I would think that would be awesome. But I feel like they are so money hungry. They're like, yes, know, money will get passed via
Speaker 2 16:52
train dogs to sniff out money. That would never been a dog, train them to do anything.
Speaker 1 17:02
But they'll set up like a Venmo account. Let's just like send your prayer through like a Venmo comment.
Speaker 2 17:10
Team so much work if you can Venmo us.
Speaker 1 17:14
So they have more time to pray. Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 2 17:19
The person. So of course, he ends up denying this. Yeah, yeah, I would never do such a thing. So Tilton vehemently deny the allegations and took to the airwaves on a special episode of success in life and titled primetime lies. Oh, oh,
Speaker 1 17:43
I feel like that would be a segment. Title. So many people wouldn't have used Donald Trump
Unknown Speaker 17:49
comes to my Yes.
Unknown Speaker 17:53
Yes. So he used that to air his side of the story.
Speaker 1 17:59
Oh, it also sounds like a name of a pump, like a pop punk band. Oh, yeah. I'm telling you lies. That would be
Speaker 2 18:06
a fun model name. He said that the prayer requests found in the garbage shown on primetime live. were stolen from the ministry and plan to downstream dumpster for a sensational camera shot. And that he prayed over every prayer request he received.
Speaker 1 18:28
Yeah, if you like prayed over the dumpster as he was dumping the mass gonna hate doing the shit. Amen. peasy, holy, holy water this.
Speaker 2 18:44
So you're really gonna like this next part. So he claims that he prayed over these prayer requests so fucking hard. That he said he laid on top of those prayer requests so much that the chemicals from the ink of the prayer request actually got into his bloodstream. And he had two small strokes in his brain. Oh, whoa, the ink.
Unknown Speaker 19:16
I think that logic came from the stripe. Wow, that is crazy logic to have.
Speaker 2 19:25
So I am risking my life for the fat heads right now holding this piece of paper because the ink for my printer could absorb into my hands and I just Yeah, and you do
Speaker 1 19:39
lay over it before each show. Like I know that you do that. So
Speaker 2 19:43
yes, I slept with us under my pillow last night so the
Unknown Speaker 19:47
knowledge gets somewhere
Speaker 2 19:54
and yeah, he's like, Hey, I'm really fucking trying and And then people started questioning him about his multimillion dollar estates. And he said, No, I allowed to have nothing.
Speaker 1 20:16
Okay. You said estates as in plural? Yes. Wow. Okay. I have details on that. But he can have at least one house but he funny underpriviledged
Speaker 2 20:29
allowed them nothing. Trip A book up. And while we're talking about like how much of a victim he is, he said that he needed plastic surgery to repair the capillary damage to his lower eyelids. Because the ink had seeped into skin so much, because I guess maybe he was like, rubbing it. It was paid for. Yeah, maybe like crying into the paper and then that made the ink go into his eyes. Okay, so probably had to use church money for plastic surgery.
Unknown Speaker 21:16
Oh, man. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 21:18
So there's that.
Unknown Speaker 21:22
Jesus funded plastic surgery. Yep.
Speaker 2 21:24
I mean, he did it for Jan for her boobies on her facelifts and stuff.
Speaker 1 21:32
Yeah, and I mean, it looked like Peter Popoff. And his wife also had worked on. So yeah, look for the Lord.
Speaker 2 21:39
There is that one picture of him Peter Popoff. And his wife that I put on Instagram, and it kind of got cut off but they look so scary in it. Yeah, like in that dimly lit room and there's like a shadow behind them. And they're kind of illuminated and Oh, but pictures. Fuck yeah, they look like plastic. It's really scary. It's terrifying. So in July of 1992, there was an updated, investor it up update to the investigation, and primetime live interviewed. Tillman's former maid, who claimed prayer requests sent to Tillman's house by the Ministry were routinely ignored until he told her to move them out of the house and into the garage. According to the maid, they stacked up and stacked up in the garage until Tilton had them thrown away. In the same interview, his former secretary came forward and claimed Tilton lifted excerpts from get rich quick books and use them in his sermons. He never saw him perform normal pastoral duties, such as visiting the sick and praying with members. So everybody's like, Hey, we're fucking jumping ship.
Unknown Speaker 22:59
Yeah, that's, um that's just, I just, I guess I don't even know what to say. It's just like, I wow.
Speaker 2 23:12
It's kind of confusing to me, though, like, with the maid saying that their prayer requests were at his house because like, they were also in the bank. And then like, somewhere along the way, I think they found them like at an actual dump. So I'm like, where are they trying to just like, spread them in different places? or is somebody saying the wrong thing? Or like, I just feel like there's a prayer requests like coming out of every corner in the story like, just just make sure like trash bags and trash bags. cartoonish. Like, like he opens a door and
Unknown Speaker 23:50
request falls out. And he's like
Speaker 2 23:56
that's why I had to get him out of the house. Oh, true. Too many strokes. Yeah,
Speaker 1 24:00
I don't know. Who knows. Like, they probably had a this is just like a weird, stupid guess. Because I feel like some of the churches I wrote about having to keep like changing their like address and name and stuff. So like, maybe we just kept sending shit to different places and just happened to maybe so relocate stuff. I don't know. Your ways. It's stupid.
Speaker 2 24:26
Despite Tillman's repeated denials of misconduct actually, let me back up here a little bit. So I kind of just got bare bones on the story. It kind of looks like he bounced around between Texas and Oklahoma a little bit. And at this point, he's back in Texas. Okay. Just in case. Anyone was like, gonna be like, Alyssa, you said it was in Tulsa. was
Unknown Speaker 24:54
actually here, but he was here. Everything that you said
Speaker 2 25:01
Sometimes the mic just didn't look like I'm making this up. So I did not make this up. So the state of Texas and the federal government became involved in these subsequent investigations. This point, there are nearly 10,000 pounds of prayer requests letters that were found in a disposal bin at a Tulsa Area recycling place in February of 92. Holy shit 1000 pounds paper is so light of just that area.
Unknown Speaker 25:40
Oh my god. Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2 25:43
I mean, I guess it makes sense if he was making 80 million of fucking week or month or whatever. Or no, 80 million a year, but it is a lot of paper.
Speaker 1 25:53
Man. We need to start something like that. Well, we'll send you guys good vibes if you send us like 1000 bucks.
Speaker 2 26:01
Yeah. So as each revelation became increasingly more damaging viewership and donations declined dramatically, which kind of surprising because these people seem to be gluttons for punishment. And like, yeah, it's my money, daddy. Yeah, come back.
Unknown Speaker 26:27
I feel like he's just gonna come back on a higher horse.
Speaker 2 26:29
But we'll see. He's gonna come back. So, the last episode of success in life aired nationally on October 31 1993. By that time, viewership had fallen 85%. And monthly donations went from $8 million to 2 million. Fucking much though.
Unknown Speaker 26:55
A lot. But damn, that was a big
Unknown Speaker 26:57
drop. Yeah, fucking but yeah,
Unknown Speaker 26:59
still does not deserve that much money. Yeah.
Speaker 2 27:02
So after the show went off air, Tilton sued ABC for liable because of its investigation and report. But the case was dismissed in 1993. So he was trying to be like they were just talking shared and they ruined my business. Yeah. tarnishing my good name I could name was really exposed what I chose to do. I can't even see who's talking shit because my eyes were injured. I can just hear the word. And they're bad.
Speaker 1 27:38
Why throw them away? Because I can't read them anymore.
Speaker 2 27:43
Listeners issue to write in braille because my learn braille. Send it to me. So several donors to Tillman's television ministry sued Tilton in the years of 1990 to 1993. For various forms of fraud, yeah, one plaintiff, Vivian Eliot won $1.5 million in 1994, when it was discovered that the donation that she had made in order for Tilton to make a family crisis center and she even filmed an endorsement for it. Like, look at this center, we're building it's so beautiful. She found out it was never fucking built. And there were no plans to build. Build it. Oh, man. So he just took $1.5 million and literally never did anything. Damn.
Speaker 1 28:46
It was just her that Souter it was like a class action kind of deal.
Unknown Speaker 28:50
It sounds like this one was just her.
Speaker 1 28:54
Man, she Oh, everybody's, I mean, I know that he paid her but she got like everybody's money.
Speaker 2 28:59
Yeah. And actually, I kind of messed up and saying that she paid him 1.5 She won 1.5 million in the lawsuit, which I don't know if that means she got her money back or she only got part of it back. So I don't know how much she actually gave for that family crisis center. Oh, okay. For somebody.
Unknown Speaker 29:22
Like 500 bucks.
Speaker 2 29:23
She got like, I see what you mean. Yeah. Yeah, I fucking nuts. The fraud cases continued until the Texas Supreme Court eventually ruled that the plaintiffs could not prove damages. I mean, unless you were like Vivianne. And there was a plan for your money, but just like the average person watching, they could not prove damages, because they could not show that Tilton had actually prayed over the prayer requests or not. So he found a leak. Pull. Like if he said he prayed over him than he did. Which, like, it's kind of one of those shitty things like Peter Popoff. Like, well, there's like a fraction of a drop in the water. No, you're fucking misleading people. Yeah, I think that this whole vial of water is blessed by you. Yeah. So yeah, he's kind of doing the same shit like a little Kupo loophole, if you will, like a little bitch. Yeah, yeah, fuckin bitch. The decline of success in life also led to the end of Tilton 25 year marriage, which made me laugh. So she had been the administrative head of the Word of Faith Family Church that they move preached at, in addition to the show. So in 1993, she asked the court to include the church and all of its assets as community property in the divorce proceedings. So under Texas law, property that's accumulated during a marriage and is considered community property for like both people. So it's usually subject to division between the parties in a divorce. So like, say that you're married to James Randi?
Unknown Speaker 31:24
Then we have a Beanie Baby collection, the
Speaker 2 31:27
Beanie Baby collection that y'all got when you're married, like when you divorce? You should, you know, split the beanie babies. And so she was trying to get her portion of Beanie Babies in the form of church, but the jury said no.
Speaker 1 31:40
Oh, kind of surprised at that. Wow. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 31:48
But it's funny that she just
Unknown Speaker 31:56
didn't say any reason why or I assume it's just because he sucks.
Speaker 2 32:00
Because everybody's like jumping on and I was like, No, fuck you. So,
Speaker 1 32:06
I know I'm married. You just be with you through thick and
Speaker 2 32:09
thin, but it's real thin, right? Yeah, this is not Beanie Babies are not flowing.
Unknown Speaker 32:17
It's not doing it.
Speaker 2 32:20
So Tilton then decides that he's going to move to Fort Lauderdale and just start over.
Unknown Speaker 32:27
Okay, so wait, Florida, that Florida? South
Unknown Speaker 32:31
Florida, okay. He's like I am that Florida is now taking you from Fort Lauderdale straight to heaven
Speaker 1 32:41
taking that arsenic time, period there.
Unknown Speaker 32:47
Man, I forgot to talk about arsenic time.
Speaker 1 32:51
Was that the reasons for divorce was that? Yeah.
Speaker 2 32:55
It sounds like he got arsenic time though. From the poisoning of his eyeballs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh. That lasted burps we definitely just didn't take a pee break. That didn't happen. But I did find it funny. During our little break, so that YouTuber Josh Wang the ear like he visited Instagram. It's just a screenshot with no caption of this lady's Facebook post. And she's on a motorcycle. And it says, Oh my God. I got stung by a bee in my pussy on the highway. Can you spell pain? And there's just like pictures of her like grabbing her crotch and then like a squash be on the seat. Oh. Oh, man. Can you see your face?
Unknown Speaker 34:04
That would you painful.
Unknown Speaker 34:06
It would be painful.
Speaker 1 34:09
Check out wing. He's awesome. He got a lot of nice weird stuff. But I feel like the podcast he would like his YouTube channel for sure.
Speaker 2 34:18
But speaking of pain we're in Florida. Now with Robert Tilton. He decides to science that he's going to bring a new version of success in life to TV because people just can't live without it. Yeah, man. Like he's gonna fucking bring it back. So he decides to buy airtime on an independent television station, primarily serving inner city areas. familiar to you, Jamie? Yes, Alyssa.
Speaker 1 34:53
It does sound familiar. Do all these bitches like run together in my head? That you did the They're I can't remember their pop off was Yeah, an article I read it sound like a handful pastor televangelists pastors were yeah taking blocks of time on inner city channels or B et or just
Speaker 2 35:19
like Which group will we explore? Let's see who has the least money and the most hope. God. So the new version of success in life return to Tillman's previous message asking for vows of faith from viewers. In 1998, the program began airing on BT as part of its two hour late night block of religious programming entitled A bt inspiration.
Unknown Speaker 35:56
BTW salsa.
Unknown Speaker 36:00
Yes, that would have been Jan segmental.
Speaker 2 36:04
I was surprised she wasn't on there. So Tilton also recorded in from infomercials for his books, at least once a year from the years 2003 to 2007. And you know, he'd pay to have those run because he's still trying to. Let's see, what was he doing supernaturally? Pay your bills. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So he wants people to know how to fucking do that. And these commercials, they star some very important people. Ooh, they have his third wife, Maria. Okay, very looking times. Which, no judgment, if you've been married multiple times, but I'm just thinking about like, how he swindled each woman in a different way. And yeah, it was like, okay, Maria is the next fucking sucker. See if I can bleed her dry before my fourth wife. I wonder if he tried to
Speaker 1 37:07
do it if he talked about like, no divorces and stuff, and oh, yeah, sermons. Yeah, probably not. Because he's probably he's like, I gotta go through how many wives to get how much money?
Speaker 2 37:21
Yeah, I love when the preachers do that. Like, you should never do this. And then it comes out. So Maria was on the commercials, and then there for French poodles were as well.
Speaker 1 37:35
Oh, it kind of sounds like a, like local, like car furniture.
Speaker 2 37:41
And I actually haven't looked one up. I'm gonna do that real quick, because I just want to see the poodles. I like when poodles have the classic poodle Lee haircut, like a pink poodle that you would see in a cartoon. Yeah, like the little like a triangle, whatever. So let's see.
Speaker 1 38:02
I imagined like a like, if you remember the that's a good motor home pa pa. Oh, that's a good sermon prayer. Pop off.
Speaker 2 38:14
Okay, well, one's not popping up. So yeah, poodles are like, Hey, by my daddy's buck.
Speaker 2 38:26
God, yeah. So basically, he's still up to various forms of this bullshit today. And his current organization is likely grossing more than $24 million a year. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 38:41
wow, of course. And
Speaker 2 38:43
I wrote Why is everything awful?
Speaker 1 38:49
Well, that was it was wonderful. You did a great job. But I'm also now tilted by Tilton are all Tilton. Um, I have to ask, do you know if he bought his poodles? Like a RV or something like Jan did? I don't know. Like I just assume he
Speaker 2 39:09
did. I feel like he was maybe wasn't as flashy as some of these other people. But that's also just kind of me guessing based on what I read. Gotcha. But yeah, maybe the poodles had a tour bus.
Speaker 1 39:26
Maybe they did. Is he like, old? Older man by see kinda like the age of, I guess the most liberal televangelists. I'm probably thinking, Oh, yeah. He's,
Speaker 2 39:36
I think he should be pretty old by now. Okay, yeah. Liberals might lose their daddy, I don't know. I do you have a couple little references to Tilden in popular culture, who say there's a song from the 90s In any sixth album, born on a pirate ship by the Barenaked Ladies Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 40:05
Lady Gaga.
Speaker 2 40:10
But yeah, the fucking Barenaked Ladies wrote a song that includes the lines. If 100 Monkeys each could get their own show, perhaps one day a champ might say. And then it's followed by a sample of Tilton saying, and you have faith. You just need to use it, said the Lord. Nice. Sounds pretty cool. I sample him in a song.
Unknown Speaker 40:38
That's awesome. Yeah, I'll have to look that song up.
Speaker 2 40:42
And then do you know much about the comedian? Ron White? The Blue Collar Comedy Tour guy. He's the one that was?
Unknown Speaker 40:51
Yeah, God. Oh.
Speaker 2 40:55
He had that joke. Where is basically like, he's sitting in the living room, like being a piece of shit. And the guy on the TV. Seems like he's talking to him. And he's like, Hey, man, are you sitting in a beanbag chair naked right now eating Cheetos and Ron whites like, yeah, I am. And then he's like, Are you lonely? He's like, Yeah, have you wasted half your life and bars pursuing sins of the flesh? And he's like, this guy's good. And then he says, Do you feel a need to get up and send me $1,000? You know, it's like, Oh, you got the wrong person. Thought you're talking to me first. So that's based on Robert Tilton. Because yeah, his his goal was $1,000
Speaker 1 41:52
doesn't mean at least $1,000. Yeah.
Speaker 2 41:58
So pretty fucking wild. That was me. And that was good. There's just so many weird loopholes with religion. You know? In Yeah, I guess some things you can't you can't quantify because unless he took a video for each person, like praying over their piece of paper, there's really no proof. So I feel bad for the people. But at the same time, it's kind of like,
Speaker 1 42:29
it's your money and you make choices. Yeah.
Speaker 2 42:33
Yeah. I feel torn. Yeah. Yeah, no.
Speaker 1 42:38
Yeah. Fuck Tolton he's still alive today. Race still alive. I'm still doing televangelists stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 2 42:47
he's still got. I don't know exactly what it is. But yeah, he's bringing in like 20 million a year. They're guessing that
Speaker 1 42:57
yeah, see how old he is? Getting that? Vin Mo?
Speaker 2 43:03
Oh, 77. Okay, he's a little younger than I thought he was. Yeah, I thought it'd be a little bit older to look at this picture of his hands glowing. I'll put it on Instagram, but he's raising both of them to the sky. And looks
Speaker 1 43:17
like that would have been like his MySpace picture. And then there would have been like the following objects of like little, little crosses.
Speaker 2 43:28
Ah, well, thank you for listening fat heads. As always, you can send in your donations we prefer a minimum of 3000 But yeah, we won't be picky
Speaker 1 43:46
1000 If you feel like it, we'll take it again.
Unknown Speaker 43:49
Poor 500 is fine, but your letters
Speaker 1 43:51
just gonna go into the trash. It's not gonna go in the pile that we lay on top and rub on our eyeball.
Speaker 2 43:59
We could use it for like tissue or toilet paper. That way we could kind of be like recycling and stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1 44:08
maybe that's what he should do with all those prayer cards instead is make toilet paper from all the prayer cards and then he could sell it as like prayer.
Unknown Speaker 44:19
But healthy tissue. Yeah. Paper wipe away your thing.
Speaker 2 44:31
Yeah, just real quick that reminds me of a infomercial that I saw somebody post and it was it was the laziest fucking infomercial because it was like a commemorative coin. And they had one that was like, on the front of it. It had Biden like speaking and looking all regal and whatever. And then on the back of the coin and had Trump behind jail bars play within that same ad. It had Trump looking regal on the front and Biden in jail on the back. So they didn't even make the time to make the two separate commercials. You could just call an order, whichever talking one. Whoever you think the crook is which spoiler boasts and everyone.
Unknown Speaker 45:23
Just Oh, man.
Speaker 1 45:25
That's funny. Yeah. Did you have you ever gotten one of those commemorative coins?
Unknown Speaker 45:30
I haven't.
Speaker 1 45:31
I remember one year my grandparents got me my sister's each one.
Unknown Speaker 45:36
Do you remember what the thing was? No.
Speaker 1 45:39
I was like in high school and like really? Cool a coin. Yeah. Did you guys like read gift list or something? Because like, exactly. Like our extended family all that much. It was just weird to just get that in the mail. Just like, thanks.
Speaker 2 45:57
Great. I did have one of those little fold out boards for all the state quarters. Did you do that? Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 46:05
didn't do that. But I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, I
Speaker 2 46:08
did it for a while and then very quickly lost interest and then use the quarters to pay for laundry. They did come in handy. It's
Unknown Speaker 46:18
your laundry coin storage. All right. Well, don't forget to follow us on Instagram.
Speaker 2 46:25
Yes. And send us your stories we would love to hear you know if you or anyone you know has been swindled or traumatized by someone like this or had any
Speaker 1 46:39
crazy religious experience that kind of goes with this. Yes. And don't forget to send us the money. We love important part. Oh damn, you should have made 85% of this episode. Fundraising shit we should.
Unknown Speaker 46:55
All right. Well, let's stop for eternity.
Speaker 1 46:59
Well, party on fed heads party on party with the Lord.