Welcome, fellow cringe lovers! Jamie & Alyssa kick off the new pod with talk of nervous sweating because we are two anxious bitches. Will our pits ever stay dry? The answer is definitely no :(
Jamie talks about the show Kid Nation and we question why it ever was filmed. From kids fearing for their lives to stuffed animal daycare, we cover it all. Don't use all of your pasta right off the bat!
Alyssa continues the weird TV theme with the MTV Classic Next! We learn that some people are cool with breaking postal rules, while others have way too close of a relationship with pizzas. Hey, listeners...don't be a stank ass bitch!
We hear some embarrassing poo and pee stories about our hosts. Let's just say that maybe you should think twice about letting Jamie near your pool! The good news is she smells like cigarettes & dryer sheets. Sadly Alyssa just smells like a peed in romper.
We also talk about awkward Christian virgin stuff. Apparently a potato will knock your boner down! Who knew. Keep listening for more helpful life hacks!
Write us some of your cringe stories at nervouslaughterpodcast@gmail.com
The socials: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Unknown Speaker 0:00
I don't know why I can only think about sweating right now.
Unknown Speaker 0:02
If scotts tots was a podcast you are here for.
Unknown Speaker 0:29
you're sitting in it. Welcome to nervous laughter where we're gonna talk about cringy, awkward, weird, all the adjacent things. I'm Jamie.
Unknown Speaker 0:43
I'm Alyssa. And we're your hosts, as well as we have Diablo over here.
Unknown Speaker 0:50
Entering the ring. We have Samsquanch in the corner. The cats of the of the podcast. Um, so yeah, I don't know, all I can really think about right now is sweating. So yeah, that's where I'm at.
Unknown Speaker 1:06
So we're talking about like, appropriate shirts for sweating before we started, like, I was almost like, I'm gonna wear a black shirt to hide the sweat. But then I'm like, Jamie doesn't fucking care. And like,
Unknown Speaker 1:24
that was the same process I went through this morning. I was looking for a white shirt. And I was like, I can't do that. I'm gonna have sweat stains on it. And then, um, but yeah, this one already has sweat stains on it. So it's I'm already prepared. And I knew Alyssa wouldn't care. So yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:41
Yeah. When I was a teenager, I was like, super fuckin worried about that. But now I'm just kind of like, whatever, dude.
Unknown Speaker 1:51
Ah, yeah, I was the worst for me. When I was a teenager,
Unknown Speaker 1:54
I would have it like, like, all the way down. And then I would just like think about it more. And then I would like sweat more.
Unknown Speaker 2:03
I'd have like two or three undershirts on Well, our shirts in total now. But yeah, like two or three shirts on in total. And like, I just sweat through them all. I mean, I'm sure having that many shorts on didn't help with the time. That was my logic to help stop the sweat from showing but um, anyway.
Unknown Speaker 2:25
So what have you been up to this week? So other than
Unknown Speaker 2:29
being busy? Other than being busy with stuff? I've actually been kind of going down a rabbit hole with this old show called kid nation. Do you remember hearing about that show at all?
Unknown Speaker 2:46
I think a little bit but I don't think I ever watched it. It's like the kind of like Lord of the Flies ish one. Yeah. Yeah. And that was actually like, brought up and like some of the articles I was reading.
Unknown Speaker 2:58
But, uh, so yeah, it aired in 2007. It only ran for one season had 40 kids. And what it was, was they like, brought these kids just like out to this abandoned town, and just let them try to like make a functioning society. 40 Yeah. And the ages were eight to 15. So it was like,
Unknown Speaker 3:21
yeah, seems extra demand. Yeah, eight year old. And like,
Unknown Speaker 3:25
none of the kids knew, like what they were getting into. So basically, just kind of in short before I guess what happened to it. Like, I didn't like read the actual contract that was signed, but some stuff that was mentioned about it was saying that, like, the parents like it was kind of written to the contracts that it was like a summer camp, instead of like a whole show where they like, do work, and
Unknown Speaker 3:52
they become the mayor.
Unknown Speaker 3:55
And they were also like us, so they like I guess had work arounds where they don't have to, like technically employ the kids and stuff. And so they had like different competitions each week where they would like they would they could like win a gold star. That was like worth $20,000 And so yeah, so anyway, um,
Unknown Speaker 4:18
that was like the ultimate prize. No, like, Oh, yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 4:22
think it was each week. Yeah, each week so each week they had like a council meeting and then love but but they had those four council members, and they would decide who would get the gold star. Um, so I guess Let me explain a little bit more about the show me a little hope makes sense. So yeah, on the first episode, it's just this busload of kids going into this empty town and then like the young like that one of the youngest eight year olds, he's like, I think I'm gonna die out here.
Unknown Speaker 4:48
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 4:57
I actually watched Oh, Bring them up in a minute. But uh, yeah. So, like, all the kids get off the bus and the host is like, how do you guys feel? Like expecting them be like, yeah, and then when kids just like scared?
Unknown Speaker 5:15
Um, yeah, so they had that. And, um, they had to do like challenges. And they were separated into four classes. So it was a, it was the upper class. Oh, so and so they're broken into classes, each of the class got like, paid differently. So it was like, they were just building like, a weird little capitalist society. Um, but anyway, so that was upper class merchants, cooks and laborers. They were paid in Buffalo nickel. upper class got $1. And they didn't really have to do anything. Merchants made 50 cents. They just ran like the candy shop and the soda saloon. It was like a little bar. But
Unknown Speaker 6:06
they swinging doors like in all the way
Unknown Speaker 6:10
had actual doors, they
Unknown Speaker 6:11
really missed an opportunity.
Unknown Speaker 6:14
The cooks made 25 cents they cooked meals. So yes, they had children cooking meals were everybody else, all the other kids. And then laborers made 10 cents and they were like cleaning the toilets. and stuff. So yeah, let's uh, they broke that out. And I guess I'm gonna be kind of hopping around between different things, because I watched actually watched a little interview this morning with the little eight year old kid that was like, I think I'm gonna so it's kind of funny, because so he went home first.
Unknown Speaker 6:50
Oh, but at least he didn't die.
Unknown Speaker 6:55
But they brought Um, so before he could leave, though, like, they, they were like, you have a chance to leave. But not until the first council meeting, which is in three days. And it's like, they dropped them off in the middle of nowhere town. Like, I mean, there was like the host and like the camera crew and stuff. So there were some adults. And then the kid that was interviewed said that there's also some, like, adults in some organization that like, made some kind of kind of small barrier on the outskirts of the town, I guess to like, try to keep weird people from getting in or something. So it's not like they were completely abandoned. But, um, but yeah, they were, there were some incidents like one. So you leave kids to, you know, clean and run a shop and stuff like that without any adult guidance. And they're using bleach to clean, there's the soda bottles. And so I guess they would I don't know how exactly they would do it. If they're just like, fill it up, let the bleach sit there and like dump it out or whatever. But I guess they didn't clean the bleach out well enough. And so one of the kids drink bleach. But yeah, EMTs were rushed there. And then
Unknown Speaker 8:18
hopefully this was all on film.
Unknown Speaker 8:21
I thought I don't think those parts are on film because like, we can't get shut down. And then they
Unknown Speaker 8:27
also, um, one girl got burned pretty badly by like cooking grease. But it's like crazy, because like, none of these kids know how to cook. And like in the first episode, I was watching. They're trying to make pasta, and they're like, Oh, we need enough recording kids. And they basically use like almost all their pasta and then when the older kids comes over, it's like, this is too much pasta, you're wasting it. And then I guess they went to try to take it out to take some of it out and they just like fell and dumped all over the ground. But, um, but yeah, they were they did just eat what the kids cooked. They didn't have like, like subsidiary food except for like the first night I think. But yeah, so um, so anyway, um, let me let me check in with my notes real quick and see if there's any more really good stuff.
Unknown Speaker 9:18
Yeah, you would think if it was a bunch of eight year olds, they'd be like, okay, here's like some loaves of bread and jars of peanut butter. Yeah, well, here's a deep fryer eight
Unknown Speaker 9:26
year old. So there's like one girl, she was older and she stepped up and like took some of the cooking responsibilities and Oh, yeah. Episode Two. Okay, so before I jump to Episode Two, let me just, I guess, talk about the kid that left and the first episode. So the guy was just like, oh, does anyone want to leave? But of course he was like, leave and never come back and just like a loser. Yeah, exactly. And then like, you know, he just shot this hand right up like, oh, and then he, he's like, are you sure you want to leave and never, ever come back and It was like, Yeah, like, and he was like, I'm too young to be here. So the like, he went to leave and he walked up to the host guy, and the guy is just like looking down on him. He's like, Well, alright, we chose leave, you never come back. There's the door. Leave. The kid leaves. He's like, here's a surprise that we haven't told anybody about the show, you can win this $20,000 star. And that this was a kid they interviewed later. And he's like, he's actually kind of pissed about that. If he would have known that there was an opportunity to win money like that. He was like, it definitely would have swayed my decision to stay. But you know, they're like, now that that lizard is gone, we can real talk.
Unknown Speaker 10:48
I feel like I would have been that kid. I was like, such a scaredy cat when I was little, and was always just like, super like, Oh, I'm not sure. Well, yeah. And
Unknown Speaker 10:59
there was some. There was one little girl she was like, um, she was like, super following the rules and stuff. And I was like, Man, that would have been me. And then like, she was like, cleaning up a huge mess. Because she's like, well, somebody's got to do it. And I'm that same girl She also unless second episode, yeah, second episode, she started a little stuffed animal daycare. She wouldn't watch all the little stuffed animals while the other kids were working and stuff. It was it was I mean, even though this was the whole thing, like, I think was like not such a great idea. There were some little cute things like that, like she, she did that. And then like one girl she wanted to like get a bike. And so she started like, just doing some shitty Dancing in the Street. And in the middle of the town, like she was stripping or something. Although, in the contract, it did say something apparently. One clause waive liability for quote, emotional distress, illness, sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and pregnancy, apparently. So yeah. But anyway, um, so she got enough money to get her bike. And then it was cute, because she was like, leaving the shop with it. And all the kids were like, Yay. And then like, I was like, the last thing. Last thing to really talk about with it, of what I've watched so far. They kill a chicken in the second episode. Like, they are like, we're tired of like, we can't live off these canned vegetables and stuff. Oh, which by the way, they're given all these, like canned vegetables and chickens and stuff like that. But they had to, like track it from one area of the desert to the town. So that was like, I mean, I don't know how heavy all that stuff was, but it was just a bunch of kids. I had to pull these wagons of it to the town. But yeah, so they, they decided that they were tired of all that food. And they needed like real food, like meat. And so they decided to kill a couple chickens. And one girl was really upset about it. And so she like, went in the chicken coop. And she was like, No, you guys can't kill it. Oh, but then they had a meeting. And, you know, she was like, I was for the best of the town and everybody else. But one of the kids was a butcher. He was like, I guess he was one of the 15 year olds. So I was gonna
Unknown Speaker 13:37
say there has to be like some like redneck kids. It's like, yeah, I've been skinning chickens. And
Unknown Speaker 13:46
there was one I think was like an eight or nine year old. He was like, he like went and tried to like scare a bowl because there was like some cow pasture I've known he was like, Guys, let's go scare the cows. And he went in scared home. And then there was like a boy. And like, the two little kids that were with him were like, I don't know what his name was. Call him, Eddie. They're just like, Andy, get back. Get back and he was just like, staring down the bowl. And then just like, you know, did a little jumping at it in the boulder in a way, but it's like, dude, fucking ballsy ask.
Unknown Speaker 14:22
Yeah, that's how I would have been on the show.
Unknown Speaker 14:25
But they did have like a lot of like country kids, some city kids, some rich kids, some poor kids, and like all of those kinds of play aspects on it, too. Because some of them kind of seem a little brash. But um, but yeah. Yeah, it was a pretty interesting show. Let me I'm just checking my notes real quick to see if there's anything else interesting about it. Oh, yeah. So let me just go over. So I had a couple quotes that I really liked. So at the end of the first day, lots of kids are upset. And one of the one of the kids says today was today was the worst day in three years
Unknown Speaker 15:09
years approximately yeah
Unknown Speaker 15:12
like it was I there was a specific I thought it was funny and then um the other kid another kid goes oh if anyone ever tells you living in Bonanza city was easy smack them across the face because they're a Smackdown
Unknown Speaker 15:26
Smackdown a liar
Unknown Speaker 15:30
oh yeah burn man but um yeah I would just I highly recommending maybe checking it out like they so they have like the four council members that are in charge of each of those like class groups and in the first episode they're like flown in in a helicopter and shit like it's it's awful like I I highly recommend checking it out but yeah, so that's what uh, that's the rabbit hole I've been down this week just kind of scoping out getting into what have you been up to Alyssa
Unknown Speaker 16:07
shit Um, well, as far as the TV shows from the past have kind of been thinking about that show next. Yeah. Another awesome MTV production I used to watch that show Hell yeah. Somebody mentioned it recently and I was like, I need to start looking into this and trying to watch it like I've been watching some stuff on YouTube but I need to see if like the entirety of it is available somewhere but it's went from 2005 to 2008 and in three years they had six seasons which was 188 episodes
Unknown Speaker 16:53
Okay, so I'm about to say like there's no way it only ran for three years because I remember like so much of it. Yeah, man. They just like turn that shit out. They forget
Unknown Speaker 17:03
so three years they had like two seasons a year and I don't know mass but that's a lot of
Unknown Speaker 17:12
TV. Lots of young adults looking to look into mingle in a really weird way. So weird
Unknown Speaker 17:19
mingling. I forgot that they you could win money like this sign that dollar amount so like if you went on the date and stayed for a while I don't know if you got like $1 a minute or what it was but yeah, like you would come out you could win money and you could get the girl or boy of your dreams
Unknown Speaker 17:46
and I thought about what I was like why would you not just be like I'll take the money but then just hit her up later Yeah, like you know do that use that for a date but yeah, what Yeah, I remember that show. I'll let you talk about it before I talk about other shows.
Unknown Speaker 18:07
Yeah, I have some good quotables yeah here but for a little recap they had one person and then there were five contestants and they would like sit in this big like fuckin tour bus and they would take turns going on the date and at whatever point the person choosing who they wanted to go out with could say next and then you know they went back in the little van and then they could like talk shit with the other contestants and be like well he short so fun with his muscles aren't too bad one like I just saw this clip but this girl like they went on their date and I have no idea what they did. But she comes back in the van and like throws the shirt and another
Unknown Speaker 19:07
girl because I hope you like feet
Unknown Speaker 19:16
just like shows the next version so I have no idea what happened they do all kinds of weird shit for their dates but um oh and so they would like have their little tagline before they came out of the van Yeah. They like witty saying like this one guy like did a brat voice and was like it's six. And then it would like they would stand in the, like the doorframe of the bus and they would show like little stats about them.
Unknown Speaker 19:59
Reading love
Unknown Speaker 20:03
I guess it's like from 18 to I saw up to mid 20s but oh Regis some good ones that I found here. So this first bachelor is named Robert. He's wearing a little pink polo shirt and he's like rubbing his hands together like so Roberts 19 and these are the facts that he chose to let everyone in the fucking world know about him. So he soaks himself in baby oil daily. He He loves to eat warm Mayo sandwiches. Oh, and he loves women who wear granny panties. That's Roberts
Unknown Speaker 20:53
I thought girls usually just do that when their alarm period
Unknown Speaker 20:59
you want Robert once wants them to all the time
Unknown Speaker 21:02
I wonder if he said like if they're like what's your favorite food and he was like I really like a like a turkey sandwich What do you eat mayonnaise on that and here's like why sometimes like do you heat it up? And he's like yeah, and then we're like he like
Unknown Speaker 21:20
think about that I just assume like the people were so fucking stupid that they're like okay, these are my bags but yeah,
Unknown Speaker 21:27
I mean he probably stupid I mean if you put if you put yourself in baby oil, put yourself in baby wheel if you put babies off, baby so baby oil on yourself every day. You do
Unknown Speaker 21:39
have a hot tub with baby oil and you take it every day. Next we have Ashley age 20 she's looking very early 2000s she has a tank top and then I don't know what the fuck is going on with her pants but she's like kind of pull them down so you can like see a little ass cheeks. Oh, like like super low right sexy. So her facts she collects Starburst wrappers. She idolizes Bob Barker, which Fair enough? I mean yeah, did a lot for the animal community so I won't judge her for that. But then her last thing she wants pooped in a box and mailed it to her ex boyfriend I'm like What did he do to deserve that? Or is she just that insane that they broke up like amicably and she was just like, I'm gonna shitting him
Unknown Speaker 22:41
I wonder like how that went down to you because then you have to like tell the post office if you have like liquids or something and
Unknown Speaker 22:50
he doesn't care about the post office. Oh, no way.
Unknown Speaker 22:54
I don't know if I'm going to take this out. But I did poop on a pole once.
Unknown Speaker 23:01
Take this out. And why did you do it on purpose?
Unknown Speaker 23:04
So I was a rambunctious teenager or you know preteen whatever. I snuck out at night with my friend and we went to the pool because like we had to use the bathroom and like the door was locked so I was like, well, they're gonna like the dorms covered my butt over and oh, okay, so
Unknown Speaker 23:30
you didn't get in the wind and get in the pool and like poop by like,
Unknown Speaker 23:32
he's I use the pool like a toilet. Such a fucking asshole kid.
Unknown Speaker 23:40
We've all been there.
Unknown Speaker 23:43
But some other equal level of destruction. no judgment here.
Unknown Speaker 23:49
That's the only time I've done something that disgusting. Like I'm not I promise like not like going around just like shitting dirty I was such a shithead. Ship pool.
Unknown Speaker 24:06
Okay, next.
Unknown Speaker 24:10
Okay, so next we have an eligible bachelor, Johnny, who is 18 years old.
Unknown Speaker 24:17
I don't know but that name just makes me the name just sounds like he has a really tall truck. I don't know why.
Unknown Speaker 24:26
I would think that too. But this is Johnny. He
Unknown Speaker 24:30
looks a little I can't see it too. Well, it looks a little emo ish like me my wish but like, you know, yeah,
Unknown Speaker 24:34
yeah, I want to play guitar. A little emo ish. He has a backwards hat. What's his shirt? Say? Hawks. I guess it's a jersey. Oh, okay. So
Unknown Speaker 24:44
he's like a, like,
Unknown Speaker 24:46
maybe a bro See? Yeah. Okay. And then he has like a like a cross necklace. Yeah. What other words that they use for that. Oh, wrote not Rosemary is not a rosary
Unknown Speaker 25:05
rose, Surrey rosemary, the bead things is that what you're talking about? Yeah, it's
Unknown Speaker 25:10
like, yeah, like rappers have them. Like it's like a chain or like a are the Yeah, I don't know what word I'm trying to think. But Johnny has it and he must work clean socks at all times. Loves big booties.
Unknown Speaker 25:31
I can't lock them for either.
Unknown Speaker 25:34
Fair enough. Fair enough. But he wants broke up with a girl. Her breath was staying gas.
Unknown Speaker 25:49
Johnny does not tolerate stinky gas pitches. So he Johnny seems like more of a bad boy.
Unknown Speaker 25:57
Here we have Sean he's kind of a dipshit Well, they're all he's like some more a little more harmless than Johnny. Shawn is 18 He's the player on the outside virgin. And a licensed to Metro sexual. A licensed Metro sexual mode I
Unknown Speaker 26:24
was sexually which I was like, is that the guys that
Unknown Speaker 26:27
like fuck cars?
Unknown Speaker 26:31
pipes? Oh my god who would say that about themselves the player on the outside virgin?
Unknown Speaker 26:43
No, it was the first thing he said.
Unknown Speaker 26:44
He said player on the outside. Oh, that was liver surgeon on the inside. Yeah, those are two separate boys inside
Unknown Speaker 26:53
that counts, dude.
Unknown Speaker 26:56
He couldn't think of three bullet points. So he made the virgin player thing too. So this next one, I think we'll have to put a picture on our Instagram. This is Casey. He's 19 I don't know how well I'm here. He looks like
Unknown Speaker 27:15
Ronald Weasley.
Unknown Speaker 27:21
He does look like Ronald Weasley. That reminds me. My husband, you know, he worked at a dealership for a long time. And it's like mostly dudes. So they would come up with the most like savage fucking nicknames for each other. And like, they called one of the guys fat Ron Weasley. Like his nickname that everybody calls that roll. So that's Casey age. 19. Oh, God, saying hello. We can hear that. Oh shit. got distracted by the cat. Oh, here we go. Okay, so Casey is a San Diego child archery champion.
Unknown Speaker 28:03
Whoa, that's random. Impressive. That's like the best bullet.
Unknown Speaker 28:12
He wants save the guy from a burning car. Oh, so he's a hero. But he has one slight drawback. He is afraid of bananas. Bananas,
Unknown Speaker 28:25
like I can't Oh, he knows cucumbers.
Unknown Speaker 28:29
Yeah, he's like a cat with cucumbers. But he's a ginger that does that with bananas.
Unknown Speaker 28:34
Doesn't fuck with that.
Unknown Speaker 28:37
actually watched part of Casey's episode. Oh, no. So they're all on the van, you know? And he's like, yeah, and all the guys are they all like applaud before the person gets off the van to go on the date. So they're all like hyping him up. He's
Unknown Speaker 28:51
like, yeah, last night,
Unknown Speaker 28:53
he comes out does this little fax. And then he walks over to the girl. They ask each other's names. They shake hands. She looks at him. It sees that he's a ginger and automatic. Like he has no soul.
Unknown Speaker 29:15
ever seeing one. We're like the chicks. Latinx like right
Unknown Speaker 29:18
after the guy stepped off. Yeah. I saw a couple days. It's pretty brutal, but they always introduce themselves first, which is funny.
Unknown Speaker 29:25
That's funny. interview after they're like, well, they don't know what they're missing out on.
Unknown Speaker 29:30
Yes. So Casey tells the girl kiss my friendly white ass. And then he walks away. Good for Casey. Yeah, Casey knows his worth. He's fucking saved a man's life. So he doesn't have time for people to hate on gingers. Not at all. Oh, yeah, I saved a really good one for last. So we have Xavier. He's not He's a good looking dude doesn't look like overly douchey or anything other than he's standing in the van and he's doing finger guns and that's like his little thing. I mean I do that I still do finger guns but I feel like he's maybe doing them like on ironically.
Unknown Speaker 30:22
Like, hey, this
Unknown Speaker 30:22
is a cool move for the lady. Oh my god. I'm so excited. You're terrified roller coasters. Me too. Yeah. I
Unknown Speaker 30:36
love those stories.
Unknown Speaker 30:37
Yeah. Oh man. I'm locked a memory. memory, memory and logs of me literally praying like please don't let me die as I want a roller coaster.
Unknown Speaker 30:53
I've definitely been there and you know, holding on for dear life yelling to get off. It's Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 31:01
de la Vega. So Xavier, I guess family's important to him. He holds farting contests with his aunt's so he's very fat.
Unknown Speaker 31:15
I can see why family is important.
Unknown Speaker 31:17
Yeah, he's gonna have and stuff art contest. But there's one thing that's not as cool that hopefully he doesn't do with this and he has pleasured himself with a pizza before. Pizza. Yeah, a pizza, which is awesome. Pizza there's just so many questions like hot pizza, cold pizza pizza. Like is he taking frozen? Frozen frozen, he says and
Unknown Speaker 31:55
he kept on that way.
Unknown Speaker 31:58
Dude, like, Did he take the whole thing like fold it over like a taco like do it that way? Like
Unknown Speaker 32:06
what is? Is that pizza so we know that's probably not plural. So
Unknown Speaker 32:12
there you go. But he wrote this himself that grammar or whatever that is probably didn't occur to him so I'm still holding out that it's the like, fuckin Deluxe pizzas like there's every topping like he's not just gonna go for cheese. He's gonna get like as much as for your pleasure with all the topics for your pleasure. But yeah, that's the kitchen
Unknown Speaker 32:43
the kitchen sink? Yep. Like peppers on my deck. Pepper. Do you think he probably added some red pepper
Unknown Speaker 32:56
likes it imagine like bringing that up as you're saying like when you get a new partner you're like I know it's kind of messed up but like, Can you just like take this pizza like rub it on me for a little bit? Okay, let's see
Unknown Speaker 33:28
if you're into like oh yeah, no
Unknown Speaker 33:30
judgment. I mean judgment. Enjoy your pizza. I mean, Jamie's a bullshitter
Unknown Speaker 33:39
I haven't set in a pool since I was like 14 I don't know how old I was 13 maybe I don't know.
Unknown Speaker 33:46
Whenever I was little my cousins and they had like you know a little kiddie pool and I guess like my parents didn't bring my swimsuit or something. So I wasn't allowed to get in the pool. So I was like, okay, like I can't get wet like I'll get in a lot of trouble Hmm So I was wearing like this little jumper thing that like had a lot of buttons and like I don't know if I was afraid that I like couldn't get out of the jumper or like I was too shy to like ask for the bath. And keep in mind I'm probably like six or seven. This wasn't like last year. So I just like piss my pants and then I'm like, Oh my god, like I'm gonna get in trouble for pissing my pants. So then I went inside and I was like, I fell in the pool. on the spot. Yeah, right. Do you mind Taylor stay in the pismo? I fell in the pool was that like? It was? It was shorts, and it was white. So it was white. Okay. And I think it had like little light Cartoon fruits and vegetables on it so I don't remember really what happened next other than me thinking I was like super sly I'm smart but I may have just said to hang out in his clothes all day remember
Unknown Speaker 35:18
no one said anything and you're outside to was it like hot
Unknown Speaker 35:25
hot yeah I don't I recently remember that and I was like oh man cringy kid memory
Unknown Speaker 35:38
yeah I don't really think I have many like poop stories or anything like I know when my sister is a baby My dad took her to Sears and he had her in his like front carry thing and she had diarrhea and it was just started like weak just like all over him but you know he was just like well if I need to get this appliance or whatever
Unknown Speaker 36:00
he's like Tell him to the sales shit all over him like it's fine. Just ignore it like oh man Okay, so a shit segue So Jamie y'all moved over here what like a year or so ago? Yeah something like that. So it's pretty new house that's really cool. Um yeah ma'am. Oh, do you have a co host he's saying that he likes his new house it's gonna be funny if nobody can hear the Cat Cat
Unknown Speaker 36:40
but go ahead with your shitstorm
Unknown Speaker 36:42
Oh yeah, so I hadn't been over here until like recently cuz COVID stuff below but like we got vaccinated and stuff and so we've been like hanging out a little bit more and we were driving over here and I was with George my husband
Unknown Speaker 37:09
like to do I need to say who that is. Like I would assume everybody listening knows him but I love him he's great
Unknown Speaker 37:27
to clarify I don't hate him
Unknown Speaker 37:31
but we're driving over here and he's while we both like lived in this area most of our lives but he was talking about how he used to live like a mile or so from here I was like oh is this the house where y'all had the neighbor that were just shit is
Unknown Speaker 37:51
is like yeah child
Unknown Speaker 37:58
flow you know like what house is referring to?
Unknown Speaker 38:04
My memory works like okay, this is the shit the pants house I was like okay, so tell me everything about it. Jamie about this. Well, I guess he was like, my husband was like 14 at the time and the kid was like eight or nine and there was like a couple other kids and they would all hang out and I guess he had like major FOMO and didn't want to like leave to use the bathroom so he would you shift bands, and everything. Everybody would be like Hey, like James or whatever the fuck the name was is like, do you need to go to the bathroom? He's like, No, I'm good. Like, are you sure and he's like,
Unknown Speaker 38:56
like what you tried to do when you feed your
Unknown Speaker 39:08
kids, they they're smart. They'll notice they're obviously so this was probably like, I guess it was in the late 90s. So just to paint a picture of like, what the house probably looked like. The dad was a Pepsi driver. So they're probably those like cool old school Pepsi's everywhere. And he was a heavy smoker. So their house was probably full like Pepsi smell like cigarettes and shit. Pepsi ashtrays? Yeah, like all the cool merch. So yeah, cringy kid stuff. I feel like I've blocked out a lot of those things, but hopefully talking about I'm here well Help me remember some for everyone's enjoyment. Yeah, like, he's talking
Unknown Speaker 40:05
about the cigarettes. Like I was definitely the kid that smelled like cigarettes.
Unknown Speaker 40:10
One of my best friends was
Unknown Speaker 40:12
like, I remember I was dating this guy and I'm in college. And um, he was like, um, he texted me like, it was ready to we're dating but he like, didn't talk to me. And then he texted me. He's like, Oh, I walked into this room and the smell it reminded me of you. I was like, Oh, that's so romantic. Like, it smells like cigarettes. tires.
Unknown Speaker 40:46
And he was like next. Oh, my God,
Unknown Speaker 40:53
like dry cigarettes and dryer sheets cooked in a pool.
Unknown Speaker 41:03
virginal means through every shirt she wears
Unknown Speaker 41:07
sweaty on the outside.
Unknown Speaker 41:16
Why do I still feel like a sweaty virgin?
Unknown Speaker 41:20
Even though I'm not against and I'm sweat free. Married you know, I get I get around. I get around. But you
Unknown Speaker 41:38
did speak it as a married thing. I think you sent it to me that I'd seen it before it was that guy that was like an article about this Christian couple. And they decided you know, to like wait till marriage, but then they decided it would be like super extra holy if they just like didn't have sex after they were married. So they had
Unknown Speaker 42:08
my eyes have just got, like really big.
Unknown Speaker 42:15
Yeah, so they decided to not do it. And it was like a little write up about that. I guess at the time of the article. They didn't have plans to do it. But they talked about, like, what they would do if they were feeling like tempted, and I don't remember what the woman's thing was, but the guy would just straight up eat a raw potato. Yeah, that's what he used to knock down his Boehner was a raw potato.
Unknown Speaker 42:44
Imagine that just been like, don't think about it. dividing into a raw potato and like,
Unknown Speaker 42:52
I mean, did he peel it? Like I don't know why, but when it comes to all this weird food stuff I like yeah, like I want a visual. Yeah, that he keeps the dirt on a it was a straight out
Unknown Speaker 43:01
of the bag. And like what does she do when she sees him eating the raw potato? Like, like, like, like, trigger her?
Unknown Speaker 43:05
She's like, Oh, I better go put on a sweater. Or cover up.
Unknown Speaker 43:13
I'm sweating through my sweater. I remember um, I used to watch all these shows on TLC that had like, stuff like that, and I'm Fuck Yeah, this one was like, um, it was a Christian couple. And they like were saving their first kiss until marriage. And it wasn't even if I remember correctly, I don't. What's it like a French kiss? I don't really remember. But I just remember being like, that's so. Like, overly dramatic.
Unknown Speaker 43:47
Like Yeah, I'm like, and are the dude's like poppin a boner like in front of their whole family when they like getting
Unknown Speaker 43:57
to cuz like, the whole family was like, the whole time building up to the wedding. They're all like, Oh, you guys ready for tonight? Like it's like we were all gonna be here for that first Super private moment. And then you're gonna like get a boner and then y'all are gonna want to like go bang ASAP. It's kind of like, I don't why do you want your family there for that?
Unknown Speaker 44:17
Like, as far as my parents know, I'm still a virgin and like, I want them to think that forever. Like, I can't imagine this being like, yeah, we're gonna do it tonight. Like, we did this a wedding one time. And it was dry wedding and it was like, everybody was super religious and stuff. And we're leaving. They like pulled around the car that the bride and groom are gonna leave in. And like, all the other like virgin friends like wrote the most like cringy stuff on the car.
Unknown Speaker 44:57
Like, you're gonna touch boobs. Tonight all this stuff and like whatever I touch the like it's embarrassing me right now. It's just a random way that'll come up in conversation and Georgia's like that was so
Unknown Speaker 45:19
awful. Watch it they they like, they'd like take turns like pulling off their purity ring
Unknown Speaker 45:27
on the window or whatever. Ah, God, I
Unknown Speaker 45:31
do not want to be that limousine driver, or taxi driver or whatever.
Unknown Speaker 45:34
I feel the awkward
Unknown Speaker 45:39
but yeah, um, I've already sweated through my shirt, so maybe it's time to dance.
Unknown Speaker 45:47
All right, so we're out the pits. Yeah, we'll see you next week. See you guys hope you never Yeah, I
Unknown Speaker 45:54
hope you guys enjoyed listening. And don't poop in pools anymore.
Unknown Speaker 46:00
Don't do it. It's not worth it. It's not.
Unknown Speaker 46:04
But uh,
Unknown Speaker 46:06
later, by fact, Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker 46:10
sonica Okay. I was like, Oh, I have to hang up. I think that went good. I think it will want to
Unknown Speaker 46:22
go
Transcribed by https://otter.ai